Uncovering Passion by Overcoming Pain

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortez. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five, it's working

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on Purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortez. Welcome back to

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the Working on Purpose Show. Thanks
for tuning in again this week. I'm

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your host, Elise Cortez, joining
you live from Dallas, Texas, which

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is home based for me. If
I've been tuning in for a while,

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you know this program is all about
helping people create more meaningful and productive personal

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and work lives and equipping leaders,
insight organizations to cultivate meaning and purpose that

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elicits passion inspired contribution, innovation,
and persevering performance. I talk with my

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guests to draw on their expertise and
then share my own experience consulting, speaking

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and developing workforces across the globe.
Every week, in these conversations, it

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is my intention that you walk me
with something you can immediately apply in your

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personal and work lives. So I
invite you to listen in from that vantage

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point, and it is my fervent
hope that you come alive with the possibility

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of living with passion, working on
purpose, and are inspired to discover for

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yourself just how big and fulfilling your
life, work and leadership can be.

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And if you do catch fire from
anything you hear, reach out and tell

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me about it. You can email
me at a lease at least cortez dot

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com or use the contact me feature
on my website at least cortez dot com

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to message me. And when you
do reach out, tell me how I

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can help. Do you want to
join a distribution list to stand forever these

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topics? Do you want to learn
about joining a catch fire online inspiration,

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accountability or mastermind community? Or do
you want information on my purpose driven leadership

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programs for individuals or companies. Happy
to help anyway that I can any event,

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I'm glad we're connected, and thank
you for listening. It's great to

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have you with us. Back to
the program with us this week. It

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Rachel Kozold. She is an international
trauma specialist and fully qualified Raiki master.

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Her passion is to assist with spiritual
wellbeing and the pressures of every day and

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corporate life. Her specialty is helping
people recover rapidly from pain, trauma,

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illness and master their psyche so they
can live a healthy, happier life.

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She know's today from Sydney, Australia
via Skype. Rachel, Welcome to Working

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on Purpose. Hey, thank you
for having me, Alice. I really

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appreciate it. So it's it's so
great, you know, I so really

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appreciate the interconnectivity of the world.
One of the great things of getting to

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host this show, Rachel, is
that I get to enjoy global listeners and

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guests like you and so listeners.
For me, it's five pm on Tuesday,

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January fifteenth, and for Rachel it's
Wednesday, January sixteenth. I think

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at ten am. It's just incredible, so so and I want to also

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give a shout out to our common
friend David Parks, who was a previous

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guest and someone I got to meet
when I went through your beautiful city this

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earlier this year and got to see
and be shown around. He was a

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guest earlier on and he reached out
and connected us. And when he said

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that you were up to waking up
people to their fire and passion. I

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thought, M good fit. God, it makes sense, David bring her

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on. So thank you, David. Yes, thank you. David really

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appreciate it. Well, So you
are. I have the privilege of looking

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at you and video and you're vibrant
and beautiful and it's just amazing to me

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that what you're up to in the
world. So I want to get starting

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with starting from your vantage point of
what it is that you see going on

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in the world that has you so
convinced that you need to do the work

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that you're doing. Sure, for
me, I guess it's you know,

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jump on any train or bus when
people are commuting to work, like it's

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really people are almost in a zombie
like state where they're not they're just existing,

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they're not truly living their life.
And you know, I see this,

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and I see people that are just
closed off to life and living life

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through limitations, and it just it
hurts me to see people living that way.

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And yeah, for me, it's
yes, I'd love to help people

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shake their lives up. M.
We have that in common, Rachel.

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I really get that I referred those
people as the walking dead, as I

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think we talked about that, right. Unfortunately, there's a sea of them

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out there. I've been one of
them myself, so I'm not running everybody

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down. I've been there myself,
and I know how atrocious it is to

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waste our one precious life in that
kind of a state. So I appreciate

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very much the work that you're doing. And just as a very very quick

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aside, Rachel, I think I
told you this female. I'm not sure,

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but let's see. Now, twelve
days ago my mother passed and I

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was there. I got to be
with her, and there's something about that

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experience, and it was a beautiful
and enriching experience. And we got to

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Sarah goodbyes and she was ready,
so all that was in order. But

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you really understand how quickly life is
snuffed out. And we don't know when

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our expiration date is. We don't
know, so every day is a gift,

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and so all the more reason that
I appreciate what you're up to you.

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Before we say more about that,
I do want to. I like,

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I like a little context. So
what were you doing professionally before you

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got into this kind of work?
Sure, so like we were just thinking

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about I was in the corporate world. So as you know, started as

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a team administratory way up to a
personal assistant and then into an executive assistant.

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So I was working for you know, the big flying companies like Deloye

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Price, Waterhouse, Price, Waterhouse
Coopers, Nevadas. So I was very

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much in the corporate world. And
it's interesting because of all my careers,

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they've all been in support so I've
always been of service to people. But

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yeah, it's been interesting. In
the last kind of a memory actually popped

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up on Facebook from ten years ago
saying, oh, you know, I'm

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lost as to what to do.
So it's interesting to see that pop up

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today when I started to question my
life and where I wanted to be.

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So, yeah, being in the
in the corporate world. Whilst I whilst

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I loved the supportive nature, yeah, I just found it to be very

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draining on my soul. I think
perhaps because I just wasn't doing what I

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was meant to be doing. Thus
why you know why I felt drained Because

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it wasn't truly aligned with what I
was meant to do. I totally get

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that, Rachel, I really really
get that. Now I have to wonder

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and listeners out there who are maybe
going yeah, I felt that way too,

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or I feel that way now,
and how do I get out of

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it? Did something happen to finally
catapult you out? Ah? Yeah,

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So I was working in an environment
that was very toxic. It was just

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you know, we're in a small
office. It was there's three there was

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five of us in the office and
yeah, I just walk in. It

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was just really really tolling on my
soul. And it was interesting. It

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took me like five times to quit
my resignation in five times, so this

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was like always two years ago I
think it was. And yeah, it

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was just like having that courage to
say no, enough is enough, like

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I want I want more. My
soul is yearning for more. So yeah,

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I think that was interesting to reflect
on that question that that was the

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catalyst that is so important Rachel.
You and I have some similar paths,

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and that just to the point of
yes, I want more, and when

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when we think about this one precious
life, when I made some decisions that

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I made, especially professionally, I
was like, I'm not living the life

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that I really want for myself with
if I get to the end and people

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are at my ceremony or my service
this is not going to cut it where

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we are today. I don't want
this. There's going to be a different,

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different story written here. So but
I also really applied what it takes

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to you know, five attempts to
quit. I really get that. And

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congratulations in cudives, thank you,
thank you well, So you've laid a

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big shift here, Rachel. You're
a you're a trauma specialist, and we're

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talking more about what that means and
what you're doing. But what did what

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did you do to prepare yourself for
this work? I went to UNI,

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a university called Life and the experiences
with my teacher. So yeah, I

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myself went through trauma like I you
know, experienced abuse in all different forms.

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And yeah, so again my life
experience that was my biggest teacher,

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I think. And then the So
I did a whole variety of alternative therapy

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training. So that was almost five
years ago, about March or April,

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five years ago, when I did
like reiki, which is energetic healing.

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I did neuralist neuro linguistic programming say
that quickly, which is just you know,

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changing the way like the wiring of
your brain, Hypnosis EFT, which

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is emotional freedom technique which is tapping, so you tap on different meridium points

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over the body, which sends vibration
through your body and kind of clears any

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any blockages that you've got within your
body, as well as past life regression

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and a bit of shamanism. Like
I haven't been trained in shamanism, but

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a couple of years ago I did
something called cambo, which is frog medicine,

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which is so they placed the medicine
on you and you purge. And

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since receiving the medicine, when I'm
working on my clients, sometimes shamanism moves

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through, so I'm like, okay, I really just trust that whatever is

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moving through me is what my client
needs. And yeah, it's it's all

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based very intuitively how I work.
We had a guest on a few months

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ago who talked about just the incredible
genius of intuition. Is so interesting that

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you're bringing that up, and she
was really really impressive. She'd written in

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a recent book about it, and
that's so she does a lot of her

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work around the world in training and
consulting and coaching, so really fascinating area

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that I want to learn more about. And the shamanism is also something I'm

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interested in and to that end,
I'm also curious about your own journey.

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I myself have journeyed in my own
career over the last twenty years. But

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I know that you started your work
and energy work like you were talking to

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talking about, and now you've really
moved more into that intuitive guidance. So

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say more about the intuitive guidance piece. What does that look like? Sure?

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So it's pretty cool. Like so
when I'm working with my clients,

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I can really feel, it's almost
like I've become them. Like I can

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feel heaviness or the lightness, or
I can I can feel what's going on

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in their energy field. So as
they're talking, if it's feeling heavy to

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me, we kind of and you
know, sometimes they're going into their story

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and it's just like I just I
don't know how to explain it, but

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it's just I just in intuitively feel
and know what to say or how to

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guide them to kind of move them
through the heaviness or the blockage that they're

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feeling. So yeah, like I
haven't been trained in coaching, Like as

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I said, my experiences in life
and my own experiences and for me,

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like I just I see where the
client is and I guide them with their

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own with them with their own their
own truth, and I just want them

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to move through like the blockage of
what they're feeling in that moment of time.

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What a gift to be to be
led along like that. I could

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say more about what I'm hearing in
relation to my mother's passing, but I'll

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save that maybe for a little bit
later, but I want to make sure

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we have enough time to really pull
out your genius and your experience and into

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that end. One of the things
that we talked about is that you you

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want to help people step out of
their comfort zone, to move past fear

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and see what's on the other side. And that's kind of what I think

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you're starting to hint at here is
you know, there's almost like has to

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be a trust with the two of
you that you know when you do theoret

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or you know, you know,
take their hand, that that they trust

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that you're you're going to you're going
to get there. So I want to

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get to that place. That comfort
zone is really important to me. But

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how did you arrive at this urgency? Sure, I guess again through my

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own experience. So I started traveling
the world in twenty ten, so nine

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years ago well, and through my
own experience of pushing my own limitations and

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my own boundaries, like I know
firsthand that life is on the other side,

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and I know how beautiful and magical
it can be when you really have

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that courage to move through that that
fear. And you know, I understand

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from firsthand just how debilitating fear can
be. It can crash your whole life.

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And I also know when you have
the courage to step up and move

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through it, it's just a moment
of discomfort. An interesting kind of analogy

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that I can share with you is
like when you're going into a freezing cold

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water, if you can go in
by inch and take half an hour,

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you're going to freeze your butt off
for half an hour, Whereas if you

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dive in, you're going to freeze
for like thirty seconds a minute and then

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you're like, oh, this is
beautiful. So that kind of same perspective,

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if you can implement implement that into
your life of just jumping in,

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like obviously not recklessly, I feel
it's just following that truth of how you

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how you actually feel, and moving
with that versus like allowing that fear to

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freeze you life just opens up doors
that you know we're for I mean jeezy

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like that. It creates wall It's
sorry, it creates walls. It creates

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doors where there wants wall where there
were was once walls. So yeah,

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it's just having that courage to really
just move through those boundaries. So to

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that in Rachel, I'll share with
you as I have in another conversation that

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I had on air when I was
in your beautiful city of Sydney in June,

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my coach Sean Anderson, who was
a rock star. I loved this

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man. He told me said,
at least I know you're afraid of heights,

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you got to climb the bridge.
So I did, and it was

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you know, that's not an enormous
challenge at all. But for me,

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I am really quite afraid of heights, and my experience of facing that fear

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and coming through the other side is
I felt bigger when I came through the

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other side. I felt more confident, I felt more capable and competent.

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So I felt like it built me
as well. And it get to your

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point, it gave me access to
something beyond my immediate understanding and knowledge of

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what I could do, what I
could be That I can't necessarily feel touch

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understand, but understood it was now
a bigger sphere for myself exactly. Yeah,

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you just become more empowered and you
like for me, it just makes

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me want to just keep my limitations
and keep pushing my boundaries. It's yeah,

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that feeling when you move past it, it's priceless. Well, we're

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going to talk more about that,
but let's grab our first break. Rachel.

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I'm your host, Elise Cortez.
We've been on the air with Rachel

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Kisold. She is an international trauma
specialist and fully qualified raiki master. She

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noticed today from Sydney, Australia.
We've been talking a bit about how it

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was that she got into the work
that she's doing, why it's important to

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her. After the break, we're
going to talk about how she goes about

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treating trauma. Stay with us,
we'll be right back. Alice Cortez is

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a speaker and engagement and development canalyst. She designs and delivers professional development,

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leadership and engagement workshops and can bring
her expertise to your organization. She will

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help ignite meaningful development within your workforce
that will increase employee engagement, performance and

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00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:15.119
retention to learn more or to invite
Elise to speak to your organization, please

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visit her at www dot Elise Cortez
dot com. She would welcome the opportunity

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to help get your employees working on
purpose. This is working on Purpose with

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Elise Cortez. To reach our program
today, send an email to Elise ali

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Se at Elise Cortez dot com.
Now back to working on purpose. Thanks

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for staying with us, and welcome
back to working on purpose. If you're

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just tuning in, My guest is
Rachel Kisold. She's an international trauma specialist

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and fully qualified kimaster propat is to
assist with spiritual wellbeing and the pressures of

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everyday and corporate life. Her specialty
is helping people recover rapidly from pain,

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trauma, illness, and master their
psyche so they can live a healthy,

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happier life. I'm your host,
Elis Cortez. All right, Rachel,

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So we were talking about just how
it is that you managed to make the

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fantastic leap that you did from the
corporate world into doing work that's much more

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aligned with your purpose and who you
are and maybe is your purpose. I

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want to talk about the work that
you do treating trauma. And before we

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get into that, I first want
to understand how do people find you to

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have you helped them deal with their
pain and trauma. How is it that

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you find your clients? How they
find you? Yeah, I think,

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yeah, that's the thing. They
find me when they're ready. So I

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do have a website which is just
my name, Rachel Klasol dot com,

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so it's rich el Clisa Sierra old
dot com. Also, I got some

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work on meet up, so you
can find me on meetup, YouTube,

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Facebook, and Instagram. But I
guess we could possibly share that in a

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link somewhere. I don't know if
we can do a link, but that's

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okay. People are listening that they
take notes when we talk like this,

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so that's great. Okay. Well, I was just curious just how it

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is, you know, when I
think about For me, it's amazing to

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me just when I'm out and about
and I go to events, like when

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we get done with the show,
I'm going to go to another event,

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and I mean just talking to people
and just hearing about what's going on in

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their world for me is an oftentimes
a way that I find new clients.

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And I can imagine for you.
I mean pain, suffering, trauma is

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unfortunately everywhere, so I got to
believe you run into it all the time.

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I do, indeed. Yeah,
And I mean just touching on that

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as well, like they're with pain, you know, pain is just a

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signal that we're growing. Suffering is
optional, which I think is where people

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myself included, get lost. So
it's like, you know, we don't

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need to buy in to the pain, like it's I think often people get

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overwhelmed with the energy of the pain
and the trauma, and it's just like

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if we take a step back from
it, then the suffering doesn't need to

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happen. Yeah, So I'm so
come. Oh I just was. I

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just have to say I wrote that
down pain as a signal we're growing.

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That is brilliant, Rachel, That
is so brilliant. I'm gonna definitely share

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that when I share our show.
That is just oh love that. Well.

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Next, I want to ask you, I mean, your field is

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very unique. I don't know anything
at all about your space. This is

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all brand new for me. So
how and why does pain present itself and

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in the patients you deal with?
Sure, so when things happen in our

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lives like It doesn't necessarily have to
be a big trauma. It can be,

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you know, an event that occurs
in your life. And if we

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don't really truly deal with it in
the moment, and then it's stores in

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our body, it's stores in our
energetic field. And that might sounded it

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we were out there for some people, and I get that, Like it's

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taken me kind of years to really
understand it in my own work, So

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you know, I know how it
can be a bit of a shot,

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but what I do is very grounded. And so if yeah, if if

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an event happens, like say,
for example, your mother passing, like

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if you're not dealing with it and
taking the time to grieve and feel the

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emotions what are coming up, Like
if you're suppressing what you're feeling, then

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it manifests as pain or symptoms in
the body. So it's just your body's

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way of expressing itself out of you
because you can't do it yourself. So

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the body is like screaming at you, saying pay attention to you know,

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for example, like different parts of
the body mean different things, like the

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right side is the man sculling and
moving forward and the future, whereas the

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left side as the feminine in the
past. So yeah, it's interesting when

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different symptoms pop in the body,
just the different meanings of each thing's so

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yeah, it's just really just taking
the time to deal with things as they

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come up and allow yourself to express
them. Just like a child, you

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know, if they bump, they
knee, they cry, they scream,

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and then they get over it and
move on, whereas adults we don't.

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We hold in the cry, we
hold in the scream, and then it

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stores in the body. So I
think we're going to build on this with

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my next question because I'm really really
interested in, oh gosh, this whole

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notion of pain. I love that
pain is signal that that we're growing.

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I do work with a lot of
people who are obviously in various stages of

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some kind of pain, not trauma
per se, but some kind of pain

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because it is related to growth.
But what is it about pain and trauma

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that saw limits people to living fallen, robust lives. I think it's I

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guess I'm speaking from my own experience
that you're not really aware of it.

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You're not. I'll just speak as
if I'm talking from my experience. You're

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just so unconscious that of the experience
in the past is just limiting you in

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these in this moment because you haven't
truly dealt with it. So it just

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keeps the pattern, keeps repeating itself
over and over and over until you truly

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deal with it. And then once
you've dealt with it, it might happen

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again, but you don't respond or
react in the same ways. So it's

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just, yeah, until we take
the time to deal with it, it's

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just going to repeat the pattern.
I can see that, and it manifests

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from me ritual and that I do. I will do things over and over

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again, expecting a different result.
And of course we know that that's a

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definition of insanity. But I so
it's what I'm hearing you say, is

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that you're helping people to create new
new ways, forward, new channels almost

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if you will exactly, Yes,
okay, so I'm very very curious to

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hear how do you work with people
to help them overcome their pain? What

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is it that you're doing with them? Sure? So again it's very intuitive.

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So you know we were with my
sessions. I don't plan them,

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so I just allow the person to
show up as they are and we kind

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of you know, I just start. We just start talking, and then

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as we're talking, it just it
unfolds itself and I see where the issue

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is. And it's basically just enabling
them to step out of their situation and

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see it from a different perspective,
from their perspective of their truth. So

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you know, there might be something
that's a situation that's happening in their life

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that they're unclear of, So I
help them get clear by addressing the blockage.

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Like there's a really cool process that
I do where we can speak to

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like if there's a symptom in their
body, or if there's a blockage in

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their body. So if they've got
an illness, so to speak, we

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can speak directly to it, so
we find out why it's there, what

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they need to do specifically to overcome
it. So it's almost like going to

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a spiritual doctor. You know,
you go to a doctor and they write

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your script for whatever you need.
This is very tailored to what they specifically

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need to do. So it could
be wake up at sunrise, don't eat

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bananas, eat this, don't eat
that, exercise at this time of the

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day, meditate right, So it's
very it to what they specifically need to

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overcome whatever it is that they are
dealing with, and then the final process

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is to like energetically clear it out
of the body. So with those processes,

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like it instantly kind of leaves their
body and then it leaves their energetic

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field and then so it's like it's
hitting that reset button. So then they've

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got a clear slate to move forward
into life from. I can imagine if

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when people encounter you then and you
do the work that you do, if

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they've been struggling with this for a
while, it may be kind of shocking

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to come out of a session with
you. So how do people feel when

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they leave a session with you?
I'm sure it varies all over the place,

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but generally it varies. Yeah,
I'm having a flashback to one client.

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It was hilarious. It was total
dismantlement. Like I said something to

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him and it just sent this ripple. It was almost like putting a bomb

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under his chair. It just blew
his whole world up. That was That

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was really cool. I don't want
to scare people off. That was one

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reaction, but yeah, generally,
nine times out of ten, they kind

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of leave feeling very clear, very
calm, grounded, and connected and just

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yeah, clear, so they can
move forward, which is pretty cool to

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see that happen, Like I can
feel the moment the shift happens from that

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heaviness where they let it go,
and it's it's almost like they can see

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for the first time. I can't
even imagine what it must feel like to

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get to do that kind of work, Rachel. I feel so grateful and

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getting to do the work that I
do when I get to help people,

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when they they let me into their
lives in a very intimate way and I

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get present to their deepest star because
hopes and desires for their for their lives

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and what they're afraid of and what
they want fervently, and then something happens

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where it opens and they see that
possiblity for themselves. It is the most

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magnificent, fulfilling, filling feeling that
I can imagine. What's it like for

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you to do the work that you
do. It's honestly, I have no

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words to watch people literally blossom and
shift and transform in front of my eyes.

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That is That's why I do what
I do. I love when I

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feel it and I see it.
It just yeah, I have no words

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for that. It's it's an honor. It's it's a real privilege to be

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able to hold the space for someone
to shift into into life. Really,

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I like to talk about this,
Rachel, because for some listeners, you

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know, this is a very very
foreign idea about being able to experience work

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on this level. You know.
I in my own research, I researched

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how people experience meaning and work for
fifteen years and across all different kinds of

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professions, and so far have found
fifteen modes of engagement and they do settle

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around you know, the depth of
meaning and the extent to which the work

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and the person are related, whether
they're inseparable or whether they're it's being expressed

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or there's a disconnect, whatever it
might be. But for many people,

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this notion of getting to work from
purpose and from from deep meaning is something

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that they very much like to have
but haven't get encountered yet. So I

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love to be able to let my
guests talk about what that experience is like,

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because it's it opened something for them, or at least a possibility for

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them. Sure, so sorry speaking
about my purpose. Yeah, just no,

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you did great. What you're sharing
before is just great. If you

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if you want to talk about your
purpose great. I just wanted to presence

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that the work that you're doing,
the level the depth of meaning that you

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get to experience is something that many
people aspire for but haven't yet encountered.

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Ah. Yes, yeah, it's
some for me, Like it wasn't easy,

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but I think when you've got support
and people backing along the way,

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it just makes it so much easier. It could turn a year long process

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into a moment process. Yeah.
Well, so I think you, like

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me, I do individual coaching with
with executives and professionals, but I also

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do programs and I'm interested. I
think you, like me, have created

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some of your own offerings, and
so I'm interested in what programs do you

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have planned for twenty nineteen. What's
on your docket? Sure? So I

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have some pretty exciting things coming up
in February in Sydney, Australia. So

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hopefully this might encourage some people jump
on a plane from America till please do.

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So. It's going to be in
a very special location in Sydney,

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on an island called Dangar Island.
It's got three hundred residents and no cars,

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and it's just it's going to be
a very special day we're gonna have

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with like a gong sound healing and
just a place where they can really enter

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stillness and just have that space to
really connect in with themselves and you know,

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let go of anything that's potentially holding
them back from the past years so

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that they can just reset and ground
into themselves. See that's one of the

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days. And I've also got collaborated
with a dear friend of mine and we've

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created an amazing, amazing eight week
online program and funny enough, she's actually

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00:31:59.599 --> 00:32:05.880
in a mary She's in Sacramento,
so we've you know, we've created the

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00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:10.640
program with alchemy in mind of the
merging of our two skills. So you

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00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:15.599
know, I'm helping people to clear
the blockages of past trauma and Leo is

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00:32:15.640 --> 00:32:22.559
a certified relationship trans transition and life
coach, So we're emerging out to passions

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together and our mission is for people
to live authentically and open themselves to healthy

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relationships. So that's that's really exciting, exciting to do that with her,

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and yeah, just looking to open
up to facilitate retreats around the world with

408
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:42.759
lear and myself as well. So
let me jump on that bandwig And that

409
00:32:42.799 --> 00:32:45.640
sounds amazing and let me just applaud
you. How fun is that I'm doing

410
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:50.119
something similar every shout to a guest
or two that I've really connected with and

411
00:32:50.160 --> 00:32:53.160
some of my friends too. And
that's the beauty of doing what we're doing

412
00:32:53.240 --> 00:32:57.599
really as sort of you know,
on our own, if you will,

413
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:01.720
marching to our own beat and our
purpose. It's amazing to be able to

414
00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:06.440
create something with someone you really care
about, to make something that you couldn't

415
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:10.400
create on your own. Oh it
was. It was such a joyful process

416
00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:16.000
creating this with Leah. Like I
don't really enjoy creating on my own.

417
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:19.960
I love it when I can work
with someone that's a line with me.

418
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:23.599
And it was just amazing to watch
it unfold, Like we got out of

419
00:33:23.640 --> 00:33:29.200
the way and it took, you
know, maybe fifteen hours to create that

420
00:33:29.319 --> 00:33:31.599
creates this program, because it was
just that it was ready to come out

421
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:37.759
and through us. So we're both
very excited to be able to help women,

422
00:33:37.880 --> 00:33:44.039
you know, overcome paint and trauma
from the past and just really delve

423
00:33:44.119 --> 00:33:51.240
deeply and to help them recognize blockages
and release blockages and red flags. So

424
00:33:51.799 --> 00:33:54.400
very very excited. Oh that's great. Well, I want to hear more

425
00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:58.400
about that, but let's grab our
last break here. I'm a last Quarte

426
00:33:58.440 --> 00:34:00.200
as your host. We've been in
the air with Rachel Old. She's an

427
00:34:00.200 --> 00:34:06.079
international trauma specialist and fully qualified Reiki
master. She joins it today from Sydney,

428
00:34:06.119 --> 00:34:08.840
Australia. After the break, we're
going to talk about more of those

429
00:34:08.920 --> 00:34:13.840
relationships, and specifically toxic relationships and
how they affect us and what we can

430
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:37.400
do about them. Stay with us, We'll be right back. Alis Cortez

431
00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:42.920
is a speaker and engagement and development
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional development,

432
00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:46.880
leadership and engagement workshops and can bring
her expertise to your organization. She

433
00:34:46.960 --> 00:34:52.480
will help ignite meaningful development within your
workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance

434
00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:57.840
and retention. To learn more or
to invite Elise to speak to your organization,

435
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:02.079
please visit her at www. Elise
Cortez dot com. She would welcome

436
00:35:02.119 --> 00:35:13.559
the opportunity to help get your employees
working on purpose. This is working on

437
00:35:13.639 --> 00:35:17.400
Purpose with Elise Cortez. To reach
our program today, send an email to

438
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:24.800
Elise ali Se at Elise Cortez dot
com. Now back to working on Purpose.

439
00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:36.480
Thanks for staying with us and welcome
back to Working on Purpose if you're

440
00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:39.079
just tuning in. My guest is
Rachel Klisold. She's an international trauma specialist

441
00:35:39.079 --> 00:35:44.159
and fully qualified Rakie master. Her
passion is to assist with spiritual well being

442
00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:47.199
and the pressures of everyday and corporate
life. Her specialty is helping people recover

443
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:52.119
rapidly from pain, trauma, illness, and master their psyche so they can

444
00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:55.280
live healthy, happier lives. I'm
your host, Elise Cortez. All right,

445
00:35:55.360 --> 00:35:59.119
Rachel, for this last bit on
our segment here, I wanted to

446
00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:04.159
focus on relationships. I mean,
so much of our lives are either improved

447
00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:08.360
or diminished because of our relationships.
Right, and so part of your work

448
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:14.840
involves helping women overcome toxic relationships and
they're limiting effects on them. Wow,

449
00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:19.599
So help us understand first, how
can we recognize we're in a toxic relationship?

450
00:36:20.719 --> 00:36:24.599
Sure, yeah, it's interesting.
Just reflecting back on my own experience,

451
00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:34.000
I think innately we know when something
is toxic. But like from my

452
00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:38.559
own experience, I was very young
and had zero self esteem and zero self

453
00:36:38.599 --> 00:36:44.360
worth, So I knew it was
toxic, but I didn't feel like I

454
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:49.800
was worthy of more So, when
you know, you know you're in a

455
00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:57.079
toxic relationship because it just doesn't feel
good. You're constantly on eggshells and you

456
00:36:57.119 --> 00:37:00.639
know, feeling like you're not worthy
and trying to prove your self. And

457
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:06.920
yeah, like there's so many different
ways to recognize it, but I think

458
00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:09.519
the biggest thing is just the way
you feel. If it doesn't feel good,

459
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:15.239
you know it's probably toxic. And
you know, if if there's an

460
00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:24.960
unhealthy way of communicating and you know
there's yelling and screaming and abuse. Yeah,

461
00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:32.760
there's there's many different layers of toxic
relationships. M hm. So what

462
00:37:32.760 --> 00:37:37.519
are the effects and on a person
from when when we're in a toxic relationship?

463
00:37:37.559 --> 00:37:43.199
What happens to us? Uh,
It's it's very soul destroying, like

464
00:37:43.280 --> 00:37:49.400
it really again speaking from our own
experience, it just breaks you as a

465
00:37:49.440 --> 00:38:01.920
person. And yeah, it's very
debilitating and you know you're not functioning fully

466
00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:07.719
as a human because you're just you're
broken. Really again speaking from our own

467
00:38:07.719 --> 00:38:15.880
experience, Yeah, it's affects your
whole life really, and you know what,

468
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:20.039
I'm also thinking about Rachel two.
Just in my own experience, I've

469
00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:23.559
certainly had maybe some of those relationships
over my overtime. And I think they

470
00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:30.000
also, unfortunately teach us or encourage
us, you know, unhealthy behaviors to

471
00:38:30.039 --> 00:38:35.440
cope in response that maybe aren't aren't
very good for the for the long term.

472
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.960
And then you know, the opportunity
there is to intervene in that and

473
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:45.480
get us back on a better,
more healthy path, right. Yeah.

474
00:38:45.559 --> 00:38:49.440
And unfortunately in life, when something
happens, we tend to take the low

475
00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:52.760
road versus the high roads, instead
of growing and evolving, you know,

476
00:38:53.199 --> 00:38:58.960
we could turn to food or alcohol
and sex and drugs and different things that

477
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:07.280
really enable us to grow through that
toxicity, you know, instead of turning

478
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:13.880
to a friend or exercise or something
that's going to help rebalance. You.

479
00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:16.599
Gosh, it's so funny you say
that, Rachel, I was just going

480
00:39:16.599 --> 00:39:20.599
back, you know. And I
think there's ebbs and flows in a relationship,

481
00:39:20.719 --> 00:39:25.360
right And I can remember one relationship
that overall net was really really great

482
00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:29.920
for me on so many levels,
but in the end, after three years,

483
00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:34.159
I did to leave it because for
that very reason I could, I

484
00:39:34.280 --> 00:39:37.199
knew and I got feedback from people
around me that I most certainly was not

485
00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:42.079
centered. And I remember distinctly I
was living in Brazil at the time,

486
00:39:42.159 --> 00:39:45.639
Rachel, and one of the women
there said to me in Portuguese, she

487
00:39:45.679 --> 00:39:50.039
said, we'll see stacks abahada,
which means you are with a lowered star.

488
00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:54.639
In another way of saying that is
you're depressed, so certainly not balanced

489
00:39:54.760 --> 00:40:00.559
and anyway, just it's really interesting
to think about starting to wreck kidnized.

490
00:40:00.599 --> 00:40:05.199
Wow, this is not a good
place for me. So then we have

491
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:08.199
to ask how can we be come
or be more in tune that we might

492
00:40:08.239 --> 00:40:15.119
be getting into a toxic relationship relationship
before it actually sucks us in. Yeah,

493
00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:22.159
it's just having that awareness and the
self worth and the self love and

494
00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:29.199
compassion not to go there. Like
I think there's as you say, at

495
00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:35.199
the beginning of relationship, there's there's
red flags, and it's just having the

496
00:40:35.239 --> 00:40:39.639
courage to walk away and honor yourself
and love yourself enough to to not stay

497
00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:45.119
with that person. But I mean
I've been there myself, you know,

498
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:51.559
going to people that don't truly serve
me, and that's just a part of

499
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:55.679
ourselves then that we're not really loving
and we're allowing, you know, somebody

500
00:40:55.719 --> 00:41:01.039
to potentially treat us that way.
You know, I think that all of

501
00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:06.760
us maybe have grown up with all
kinds of messages about ourselves and about about

502
00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:09.519
what a relationship is. And one
of those big messages is, well,

503
00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:15.039
you know, Rachel, relationships take
work, right, And so I'm wondering,

504
00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:19.719
you know, when you think about
how people might start to process some

505
00:41:19.800 --> 00:41:22.639
of the negativity or toxicity that they
experience in a relationship and they just reframe

506
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:24.719
it as well, you know,
it's work. I just have to work

507
00:41:24.760 --> 00:41:30.679
out it. What do you think
about that? For me? I don't

508
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:34.760
know if I'm living in a fairytale
land or not, but I believe when

509
00:41:34.760 --> 00:41:37.800
you're with the right person, you
light each other up. And you know,

510
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:40.519
there's a couple of people in my
life that I look at and they

511
00:41:40.599 --> 00:41:47.400
have that, and I mean,
sometimes it can be worked, but that's

512
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:53.320
I think for the most part,
it's light and it's joyful and you just

513
00:41:53.400 --> 00:42:00.239
bring the best out in each other. But then obviously life comes along and

514
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:05.960
challenges come, but you work together
to move forward rather than against each other.

515
00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:09.719
And I think perhaps that's part of
the problem with toxic relationships, they're

516
00:42:09.719 --> 00:42:15.719
working against each other versus with each
other. That is a great way to

517
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:19.119
clarify that. Rachel and I'll just
simply quickly share that, you know,

518
00:42:19.199 --> 00:42:22.840
again coming off my mother is passing
two weeks ago. I've witnessed my mother

519
00:42:23.039 --> 00:42:27.400
and father's love over the They were
married for almost forty six years, and

520
00:42:28.440 --> 00:42:31.960
they really were and they were they
had great chemistry, so they were connected

521
00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:37.440
that way. They were best friends, they were business partners, they loved

522
00:42:37.559 --> 00:42:40.639
spending time together. And of course, as you can imagine, my father

523
00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:45.880
is completely destroyed in this whole you
know that the new geography, if you

524
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:50.760
will, he's just destroyed. But
it's such a great example of what a

525
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:59.039
beautiful relationship can be, exactly exactly, and it's just opening up to that.

526
00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:04.199
And you know, when you're being
you experienced toxic relationships in the past,

527
00:43:05.079 --> 00:43:07.480
being in a healthy one can be
foreign. You're like, whoa,

528
00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:12.159
what's this? Love? What is
this? And it can be overwhelming,

529
00:43:12.559 --> 00:43:19.159
But it's just learning to you know, go within and do the work within.

530
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:23.760
And when you can do that,
like and just you know, open

531
00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:30.119
yourself to receive love like that,
that's powerful. And to your point earlier,

532
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:34.119
Rachel, what I can absolutely say
is they both very much contributed to

533
00:43:34.159 --> 00:43:37.639
the other. They made each other
better, bigger, fuller, human beings

534
00:43:38.719 --> 00:43:45.480
exactly. Yeah, well, along
those lines, another thing that I know

535
00:43:45.519 --> 00:43:49.519
that you said you've been up to
is facilitating group work, which is fascinating

536
00:43:49.559 --> 00:43:51.320
to me. I would love to
do something like that. In fact,

537
00:43:51.320 --> 00:43:52.639
in many ways, I guess I
do do that and some of the programs

538
00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:58.599
that I when I bring groups together. But I'm interested to understand if there's

539
00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:01.679
been any common themes that you've seen
among the groups in terms of challenges or

540
00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:07.920
opportunities. Yeah, it's actually been
really interesting. I've been facilitating well started

541
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:14.800
to open myself up to that world, which has been really exciting. And

542
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:19.119
yeah, I've been drawing men into
the groups, which which has been pretty

543
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:24.199
cool. And the common theme that
I've found in these men that have showed

544
00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:30.519
up for the work is that they
don't really have a space to open up

545
00:44:30.559 --> 00:44:34.760
and be vulnerable in like, for
example, if they're hanging out with their

546
00:44:34.880 --> 00:44:37.280
guy mate, they'll, you know, they'll try and speak to them about

547
00:44:37.320 --> 00:44:43.400
whatever issue it is that they're feeling
or going through, and the mate will

548
00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:45.800
just tap them on the should and
be like, you know, you'll be

549
00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:49.920
right, mate, you know,
let's just have a beer. So you

550
00:44:49.960 --> 00:44:57.159
know, obviously this is a generalization, but generally men don't have that capability

551
00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:00.760
to open up and be vulnerable with
each other because it's just they haven't been

552
00:45:00.800 --> 00:45:07.400
taught that. So yeah, it's
been very really cool to see men come

553
00:45:07.400 --> 00:45:09.920
out and go, I want to
talk about this. I want to be

554
00:45:10.039 --> 00:45:15.719
vulnerable. I want to learn to
not reflex and shut down and suppress my

555
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:22.679
energies and emotions. So it's been
as a woman to be able to facilitate

556
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:28.480
that and create that space for men
to come into and to really bear their

557
00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:31.480
souls in front of men they haven't
met in front of me, they haven't

558
00:45:31.480 --> 00:45:39.559
met, Like. It's just been
really really a privilege to be able to

559
00:45:39.559 --> 00:45:44.400
do that for them and see them
grow and evolve through the hour that I'm

560
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:49.920
working with them in Like, it's
been yeah, pretty very special. You

561
00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:52.280
know, Rachel, Again, you
and I are coming at this from a

562
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:55.519
very similar space, and I work
with men and women. It's easier sometimes

563
00:45:55.679 --> 00:45:59.239
I think it's easier for some of
the women to upt into my space,

564
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:01.000
but not really. I mean,
men want to work and live from purpose

565
00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:07.960
too, and they certainly certainly the
emotional intelligence and the spectrum of emotional intelligence

566
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:12.119
that goes with that. To be
able to express and communicate how they're feeling.

567
00:46:12.239 --> 00:46:15.039
Is you know, there's a spectrum
there that they can develop into.

568
00:46:15.559 --> 00:46:17.320
And to your point, I think
it is so beautiful when I could see

569
00:46:17.320 --> 00:46:22.519
men or women being able to stand
in that place, be vulnerable, show

570
00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:28.480
who they really are and let us
in. It's really really magical when that

571
00:46:28.559 --> 00:46:30.880
happens. And furthermore, what I'll
say is that I think men have the

572
00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:35.599
opportunity today to be able to live
in that space, you know, when

573
00:46:35.639 --> 00:46:38.920
they let themselves do so, and
that the time is absolutely right for them

574
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:44.159
to stand in that place. And
the last thing I'll say is it's really

575
00:46:44.199 --> 00:46:49.719
sexy when a man cries. I
think, oh, I know, I

576
00:46:49.960 --> 00:46:52.440
was in a group yesterday and he
was talking about how he there and have

577
00:46:52.519 --> 00:47:00.599
a cross just like yes, score
and yeah. It's interesting to how you

578
00:47:00.639 --> 00:47:05.880
know, men will speak about that
social conditioning of oh you've got a man

579
00:47:05.960 --> 00:47:10.400
up, and like, to me, manning up is crying, Manning up

580
00:47:10.559 --> 00:47:16.239
is showing your emotions. Then being
vulnerable like that to me is the sexiest

581
00:47:16.239 --> 00:47:21.280
thing a man could ever do.
And it takes a lot more courage than

582
00:47:21.320 --> 00:47:23.480
it is just to shut all that
down. That's more strength too to do

583
00:47:23.519 --> 00:47:28.000
that. So I completely agree with
you that would be more manning up than

584
00:47:28.079 --> 00:47:31.599
shutting it all down, for sure. And I also know that men have

585
00:47:31.719 --> 00:47:36.199
been terribly conditioned not to do that. I'm not trying to take that away

586
00:47:36.239 --> 00:47:38.639
because I know, well, I'm
not a man, so I don't know

587
00:47:38.679 --> 00:47:42.840
what my bones like they do,
but that you know, there's there's consequences

588
00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:45.199
if you if you don't align with
what society says about what it is to

589
00:47:45.199 --> 00:47:50.400
be a man. So I really
also understand that they have to swim up

590
00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:52.760
stream, if you will, to
do what we're what we're talking about,

591
00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:58.440
and I really respect and appreciate that
when they do. Oh totally totally.

592
00:48:00.079 --> 00:48:01.519
Well, we've come down to the
last already, if you will, Rachel.

593
00:48:01.559 --> 00:48:06.599
The time just goes by so fast. So here we are at the

594
00:48:06.679 --> 00:48:09.679
end. You know, this show
is listened to by people across the globe.

595
00:48:10.760 --> 00:48:13.760
What would you like to leave our
listeners with today, say, in

596
00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:22.599
maybe thirty seconds or so. Sure. I think it's just consciously choosing what

597
00:48:22.679 --> 00:48:27.599
feels right for you. What your
truth is is different to my truth,

598
00:48:28.199 --> 00:48:34.079
and it's just really not even having
the courage, but just feeling what feels

599
00:48:34.159 --> 00:48:37.400
right. For you and moving through
that fear and just going for it.

600
00:48:37.440 --> 00:48:44.000
You know, life is short,
and it's when you can really just move

601
00:48:44.079 --> 00:48:47.519
past your boundaries and your limitations that
that's where it gets juicy. That's when

602
00:48:47.639 --> 00:48:53.920
when life really starts. And yeah, I mean I do I do work

603
00:48:53.960 --> 00:48:59.559
online, So if people want to
work with me anywhere in the world,

604
00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:04.719
that's possible. So yeah, I
just I want to help people wake up

605
00:49:04.760 --> 00:49:08.199
and live life on their turns.
So yeah, thank you, thanks,

606
00:49:08.280 --> 00:49:13.559
thanks for listening everyone. Rachel,
thank you so much for joining us and

607
00:49:13.639 --> 00:49:16.480
sharing your heart, your soul,
your purpose, your passionate with us.

608
00:49:17.159 --> 00:49:22.400
It's obvious to me that you're doing
work you're supposed to be doing. Yeah,

609
00:49:22.400 --> 00:49:25.800
thank you. So if you want
to learn more about Rachel Klisold or

610
00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:30.320
contact her and see about the work
that she's doing in international trauma, you

611
00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:34.920
can always check out her website.
It's Rachel Klisol dot com. So it's

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r A C H E L C
L I S s o ld dot com,

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00:49:40.360 --> 00:49:45.280
Rachel Kold dot com. And last
week, if you missed the show

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00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:47.039
live, you can always catch it
be a recorded podcast. We were on

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00:49:47.079 --> 00:49:51.519
the air with Brandy Nice. She's
an emerging speaker working from her purpose to

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help encourage and inspire people to break
free of their own self and post prisons,

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00:49:54.360 --> 00:49:58.159
no matter what they've been through in
life, and go hard after their

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dreams. Next week, we'll be
on the air talking with Paul Radoff about

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his work consulting on purpose in nonprofits
and also his book Thriving in a New

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00:50:06.039 --> 00:50:09.000
Stakeholder World, Purpose as the New
competitive advantage. See you there. Remember

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that work is at least one third
of our lives, so let's work on

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purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this
week's program. Be sure to tune in

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to Working on Purpose featuring your host
Alice Cortez, each week on the Voice

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00:50:25.800 --> 00:50:31.039
America Empowerment Channel. This week,
find your life's purpose at work.