Negotiating from the Highest Self: Where Wisdom Meets Win-Win

0:00 The topics and opinions express in the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests and not those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability explicit. Or implies shall be extended to W four CY Radio or its employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W FOURCY Radio. What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their highest potential. Business can be such a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, doctor Elise Cortes.

1:04 Welcome back to the Working on Purpose program, which has been brought to you with Passionate Prize since February of twenty fifteen. Thanks for tuning again this week. Great to have you. I'm your host, doctor Relies Cortes. If you haven't met me yet, I'm an organizational psychologist, local therapist, workforce advisor, and the founder of the Gusto Now movement. But the title that I live by daily is really much simply simpler eye traffic and energy, not the service level motivation or another engagement initiative, but the deeper force what I call the Gusto, the life force of performance that drives commitment, performance and genuine ownership of a shared mission. You can learn more rest than how we can work together at Gusto dashnow dot com or my personal site at last Coortes dot com. With us today is doctor mehrad Nerazzi. He is an executive advisor, corporate trainer and speaker.

1:49 He is passionate. He's a passionate practitioner of applied spirituality and believes in preserving the authenticity of the ancient wisdom practices and applying them in our daily lives in the twenty first century. He's the author of Enlightened Negotiation, eight Universal Laws to Connect, Create and Prosper, which we'll be talking about in today's program. You know it's today from Portugal where he lives. Doctor Nazari, Welcome to Working on Purpose. Good to me, Thank you. So welcome, beautiful friend. I want to I want to celebrate this beautiful book that you brought into the world. I learned so much as also you say you're edited it as well. I know you're going to bring us into a centering exercise to start, but before we do that, and let me celebrate how we met. I am a recent new member of the Enlighten What the the what is it called the Enlighten Leadership.

2:42 Guild, Conscious Leadership Guild. Conscious Leadership Guild. Let's get that right, because it was one that I would have never ever encountered. But I met Willian through that and then I met you, So that's how we met. I want to give that shout out. Now you mentioned it would be nice to start our conversation with the centering exercise, which is something you do when you bring people together for negotiation. Let's do it. I'll take your lead. Yes, actually, at least that is something that I do in almost every meeting. And by that, I'm going to ask you to sit comfortably with a straight a spine, and some of you may be driving or doing other things.

3:22 So just with the eyes open, bring your awareness to where you're sitting or standing, and withdraw your mind from all other spaces and bring it to the space that your body is occupying. Just breathe within that space, and we draw your mind from all other times and bring it to this moment to be here now, feel the breath of here now, no traces of the past, no anticipation of the future. Just be here now. Just before we start the session, just bring your attention why you're here, why we have gathered here, All of us here are to improve ourselves and make a positive contribution to our world.

4:40 So with that intention, please come back. Now I can say welcome now, thank you. That was a beautiful way to start, and I can imagine how incredibly productive and powerful it is to start a negotiation session. So and I don't think I've ever seen anyone start And as I mentioned to you before we got on here, having read your book, I can say that with certainty that none of the people that I've encountered in my life where I negotiated with, did they practice the eight laws that you have in your book, they need to pick up your book. Well, would you like me to start from my background from.

5:22 Book I liked, let's talk about why you've come to the place where you have really mastered negotiation, and we will do that first, and we'll distinguish what do we mean by negotiation and as you say, then hangling. But you know what a niche to have. Well, it was my own experience of I was studying in San Diego, California. I was working on my PhD. And all of a sudden, I got a call that the financial aid was stopped and I had to stop start supporting myself, and so I immediately got my broker's license.

6:04 I got into real estate and I was working very hard, and I was very successful. I enjoyed it very much, and I had wonderful clients. However, the world of negotiation was really unbelievably harsh, and I was not even though I was successful, I was not enjoying how I have to act in order to be able to successful in that business, and how people really acted as if very different than they were supposed to. Let's just live it at that doggy dog world out there, and some of the closest friends and partners. You know, they would come to the business all of a sudden their personality would shift. Yes, so I thought, you know, it has to be a better way. And I was at the School of Human Behavior and I decided to write my dissertation on negotiation.

7:07 Maybe I learned something and that was that became my passion of learning about negotiation. I finished my dissertation and school asked me to talk to present a class at the university, which I did for ten years. But Alice, frankly, it wasn't until about many years after that that I wrote the book because by then I was also within that period, I was also working on my spiritual path and I was deeply involved in yoga and meditation, and the idea of writing another book was not that enticing.

7:51 But when I got that inner voice telling me that my book has to have a spiritual essence, I said, ah, now I can't do it. So I wrote the book as a result of my own experience and realizing as human being, we are a spiritual being. As such, we have to step up and behave differently. That is so beautiful. I want to celebrate for our listeners and viewers Marat because many people turn into this program because they're interested in trying to discover more of their true essence, their purpose, etc. So I want to celebrate what you said about being able to hear that inner voice, right, And I think a lot of people weren't practicing what you were doing. You're having the spiritual quest meditation so that you could hear that, and I want to just presence that for our listeners and viewers, and maybe you can comment on that.

8:45 You know, I really appreciate that. Alice also want to mention that we can deny it. We are a spiritual being. As a matter of fact, doctor Linda Miller from Columbia University. She is the head of the Spirituality Mond Body Program at Columbia and through the neuroscience she proves, she shows us that we are a spiritual being. We cannot deny it. And her work has been so powerful that now she's teaching the spirituality at Pentagon to the Army. So that is a great step for us realizing, recognizing, embracing spirituality is not a woo woo things. It is part of who you are and unless we do it and we come as a wholeness of who we are, we are not going to achieve our highest and best.

9:43 One hundred percent agree. I had an author on my show some time ago now his name is Escaping Me. But he distinguishes very profoundly. He says, we don't have a soul, we are a soul exactly. I think that's really an important way to distinguish that. Yeah, and once we ignore that, life is going to be very hard. And as a matter of fact, I should also add, as a result of doctor miller'so work with the Army, the suicide dropped by twenty five percent because people recognizing who they are, they look at life, they look at their behavior differently. So be fun. So we started with this. Okay, now let's do this if we can. Your definition of negotiation, what is negotiation? In your eyes?

10:33 Negotiation is the communication between two or more party in order to satisfy their needs by enhancing their position by satisfying their need. Unfortunately, there are actually basically two styles of negotiation. One is the distributive negotiation, which is a zero sum phenomenal that the parties assume the resources are limited. If you get more, I would get less, and vice versa. They call it distributive negotiation. The other one is an integrative negotiation, and that is you integrate all the elements and you dive deep in to why people are at the table and try to create options and as a result of that try to see and I'm we're just going to go further, specifically working on describing the enlightened negotiation.

11:29 How can we maximize the collective gain versus the distributive bargaining? That is, doesn't really need much of a preparation. You go there and whatever they offer. If you're the seller, you ask for more. If you're the buyer, you ask for less, and you reach up some in between the numbers. And that is basically the essence of it. And unfortunately these days we are also hearing things about the thread, quercion, exertion, those are none of those are part of negotiation. We have to really separate them. And a lot of people asking me about some of the comments that are these days on the and the air, and I share them that I do not consider any of those of negotiation.

12:21 Those do not belong to boardroom or bedroom. That is where we negotiate. And so that is the essence of negotiation. And we can of course go deeper into it as we speak. I love how were starting kicking this off. Let's distinguish, as we did before we got on air this morning, what you just did with negotiation from haggling. What's haggling? Haggling? As I said, it is what the style of negotiation that you see in the bazaar. And by bizarre I mean in general a place that you can and sell anything, I mean anything and that belongs to that, and there's a special culture goes with it, and that is the way it is done. For things of the low value and not much of the principle, that is fine.

13:19 But when it comes to things with the principles and importance and reputation and relationship, you cannot haggle. You have to negotiate. And unfortunately, because as I was mentioning earlier, you know, we breed all the time, but how many of us have taken the class in proper breeding and breath is so important to us? The same thing with negotiation. As a matter of fact, when I wrote my book, actually my rock Lisitation, there were very few universities that they were offering courses in negotiation. It was a handsful of universities to the business people in the NBA. They would come up. They had learned about finance, economics, and everything else except negotiation. So I was my course one of the pretty early courses in negotiation.

14:25 Let's go back to the idea of breathing really quick. I really was moved by what you had said in your book about you'd been practicing meditation for years and your dad was kind of dismissive of that, and finally, after several attempts, you gave him a session to teach him, I think, how to do meditation and to breathe. And he emerged from it with tears and he said, no one's ever taught me to breathe like that. That I could breathe like that, that was such a powerful thing to share. Do I have that right? And thank you so much to bring it up, because that is exactly how I felt. And as I said, my father was very intellectual, and he was very proud that his son, finally in the family, got his PhD.

15:09 He's teaching at university, but he wasn't sure what this yoga thing was to him, and he wanted to learn and spiritual practices are experiential, is not the intellectual discussion. So I refused to get involved in a discussion, so I encouraged him to play the game experience it, and that was three years afterwards, he accepted to do that and after he experienced his own breath, it was the first time he was aware of his breath. This was the first time after eighty some years, this man felt, Oh my god, nobody ever told me how to breathe.

15:53 And I feel the same way about negotiation. When I started talking about negotiation as is something that you know, they have never done it. They have done it. We all negotiate all the time. Well did you match up having awareness and education about it. I'm so glad I ask you that this. I think what we've done here in this first segment is really set the tone well for how we'll then talk more about some of the laws as the reason we can get through. But before we do that, let's grab our first break. I'm your host, doctor Relies Cortez, who doctor Mehrad Mazaudi. He's an executive advisor, corporate trainer and speaker. He is passionate about applied spirituality and believes in preserving the authenticity of the ancient Wisim practices and applying them in our daily lives in the twenty first century. We've been talking about just the foundation of why this practice of developing negotiation the way that he teaches it is so important. After the break, we're going to start diving into some of those eight laws, starting with the law of Trust.

16:52 We'll be right back. Doctor Elise Cortes is a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Elise alisee at elisecortes dot com. Now back to working on Purpose.

18:00 Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to working on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes, as I am dedicated to helping create a world where organizations thrive because they're people thrive and they're led by inspirational leaders that help them find and contribute their greatness. I would do business that betters the world. I keep researching and writing my own books. So one of my latest came out. It's called The Great Revitalization. How activating meaning and purpose can radically enliven your business. And I wrote a toub leaders understand today's discerning workforce, what do they want and need to give you their best and want to stick around? And then I provide you twenty two best practices to equip you to provide that more than through your leadership and your culture. You can find my books on Amazon or my personal site Atliscortes dot com if you are just now joining us. My guest is doctor Merad Mezzadi.

18:43 He is the author of Enlightened Negotiations, The Eight Universal Laws to Connect, Create and prosper, which will be diving into next So let's start if we can here. I would like to take for our listeners and viewers as many of the eight laws as we can get to. We don't get through all of them, that's okay. But the first one is the law of trust, if you could bring that one to life and have a particular story, But I'd like to share from your book that I think really illustrates it beautifully. Well. I learned that law, and that was the beginning of my path. Was I was eight years old and my parents apparently had a love relationship to begin with, but I have two older sisters. By the time I came along, things had changed and money was always an issue, even though we were okay, but finances was a challenge in our household. And to as an eight year old standing there and watching my parents arguing and finding about money was very disturbing. So I thought about it, and I thought, you know, maybe I am part of this problem that you know, maybe I should do something to help myself, support myself, or even help them. So I had it all planned out that you know, I was going to sell small toys in my neighborhood during the summer, and I had it all planned out with the detailed I was going to use my entire eight dollars sixty seven cents saving to as my first inventory. And by

20:18 then when I approached my parents, my father was okay with it, but my mother absolutely not know my son of mine would be a pedlar in the street. And so the entire rest of that school year, all my negotiation with my mother was in exchange of getting her permission and list of things that I had to do. Plus finally it softens her heart and allowed me. But she gave me a list of restriction limitation, geographical limitation, the hours of operation, number of books I have to read. All of that. And the day I went to the whole market to buy my first inventory, I was so invincible.

21:05 I was just like walking on the cloud. And I went back and then the first day the business was amazingly successful. By that night, when I started counting my money, I realized I had already captured my initial investment. Everything else was going to be profit. I was thinking about the next level of my business. I fell asleep next morning. The same thing continued in the afternoon. I was so excited I could not control myself. I left fifteen twenty minutes earlier, and in order to get a better exposure, I built half a block further than agreed agreement with my mother, and sure enough, this man by boy came along, and he showed a lot of interest in every single one of those He picked up a bunch of them and inside them it lay and so happy that right off the bat, I have this big sell and he gave me a large bill and I was just trying to find him change. It went back and forth, back and forth, and then he started asking for a bag, and as I was handling all of this, he finally grabbed everything and with a small jumped on his bike.

22:20 And I was so happy too. I wow, what a beautiful man. His children should be really happy. And I was giving myself also credit for doing something like that. And as soon as I opened my cash box, I realized there was no money. What happened to my money? What happened to all the money was exchanging with that man. I kept looking and the reality hit me he had soldn all my money. And I tried to collect myself and use the same sparking that brought me to that, but it was no way. And I grabbed few items that they were left and I dragged myself home. And on the way home, I kept looking at the adults.

23:11 Can I trust this man? What if he's like a man on the bike. Can I trust this woman? What if she's like all the people who supported me? Am I going to do this as I was looking at this, that was even the bigger lesson I learned the first lesson about negotiation that was trust. But frankly the bigger lesson was I was walking home for some comfort and support and I could not expect anything because I knew I had broken the trust of my mother. That was even a bigger deal. You know, we go around and talking about being are these people trustworthy? Trustworthy? But the ultimate question is am I trustworthy? How am I going to show? How am I going to earn trust of other people? So that day I really learned the best lesson in business that when we talk about negotiation, you can have the most eloquent, elaborate deals written, but if there is no trust, the works nothing right.

24:24 Absolutely same in organizations, right, I mean, that's the currency, that's the basis of relationships, the basis of results. Absolutely, any relationship, any team work, any negotiation. Yes. Absolutely. You have a very powerful quote in this chapter on trust by Warren Buffett, and let's just read it because it's so incredibly important to situate in this conversation. The quote is takes twenty years to build a reputation, and five minutes to ruin it if you think about it, If you think about it like that, you'll do things differently, sosolutely. And actually, in twenty eighteen, for magazine had an article in it trusted companies outperforming by total returnal and shareholders by two hundred and eighty six percent. Trusted company. And today, especially with the cyber trust, it is an element that we cannot ignore because not only your reputation is on the line, your reputation is online and a lot of company are taking that leap of success through trust and being trustworthy.

25:43 There are so many examples we could give. I want I don't want to go into these details, but I just want to presence a few of them. There was the Bank of America fake account scandal. There was the Volkswagen installation of software to prohibit them from getting through the emission standard. So many of them that we could talk about and think about how much that destroyed their market share and their revenues and the trust the people had in them. So it's amazing. Well, let's go on to the second lawd It's sound a lot of intention if you can bring that one to life. For us, well, the law and intention. I always say that you know, if you don't know which port you're sailing to, know when can help you. And in any journey, we have to know where we are and where we would like to be. And this law is really suggesting that you know, put your attention on your intention, know what is your goal? We're ab would you like to end up? When it comes to negotiation, I shared in the book the example with my niece and nephew that we were on a ski trip and one day I was tired after half a day, and I excused myself and I came in.

27:08 The afternoon after this, Yes. Yes, and my niece and nephew jumped in the car to come back with me, and I reluctantly took them back home. And I was just back to the cottage that we were staying the condo this area, and I fell asleep as I was reading the magazine, and all of a sudden, I boom. They woke me up screaming and yelling, and I woke up this combobulated no idea what they were doing, and I realized it was the fight over the last orange. And I usually asked, you know, in this situation, what am I supposed to do? I brought these two spoiled kids home and they're denying my sleep.

27:57 And I would really also ask your listen to really what is your gut reaction? What is your immediate response to situation like this? And I hear all sorts of answers throughout my career about this story, from you know, grab the orange in it yourself, or your go get more oranges or cut it in half. Yes, they are all fine and good, and they are all could be justifiable, but as enlighted negotiator, I have to pause and have a better understanding of what it is and what I'm trying to do, what is my intention? And I have this map that I share in the book that it shows different options we have in any interaction. The map is the two arrows, the horizontal arrows and the vertical arrows that they intersect on the right side of the left assuming the page, and the horizontal rownd is other people's other sides again and the vertical arrows are gain So there would be five options. One of them is doing nothing in this situation, let them fight and whatever happens has nothing to do with you. This option might be okay sometimes, but on the other side, could be negative that these two kids seeing the injustice is happening

29:29 and Uncle Marat is doing nothing, so that started resentment towards me. The other option is on the right side, at the end of the line, horizontal line, which is the gain of the other side. If I go and buy them orange, I have submitted, I have accommodated them to get their share of what they want, what they need, and denied myself from sleeping. And that option not always is the best option, because that pre sets the precedent for the future that this is the way to behave, this is the way you get what you want. And the other one is at the end of the vertical arrow that would be competition. I have the power, I grab the orange. I am in control. I tell you what to do. That is not going to last very long in any relationship. And finally, if we end up at the fourth quarter fourth corner of this where these two lines would have joined, if we connect them is a collaboration that both sides get one hundred percent. In a lot of situations that may not be possible, but more more often than what we really think is possible, it is possible and for both parties get the one hundred percent of what they were after for. And in this case, I sat with them and I asked, it's

31:02 one what do you need? And at the first they were reluctant to share their secret, but David said that he needs his Thursday he needs a orange juice, and I said, David, anything else can satisfy you. No, orange juice feels very good right now. And the other side, Jasmine, why do you need the orange? She was reluctant to share. Finally drawing out of her she said that because that night was her mother's birthday and she was baking an orange pill cake. So understanding the underlying need, I said, okay, we peel the orange one hundred percent of what she needs.

31:46 She gets the pill, Jasmine and David get the ball the rest of the orange, so they both end up with one hundred percent. After we decided that discovery is the best way, what is it? And then creating options. And this has been applied not only in this situation, but I have seen it in a land dispute one hundred percent both sides, and in international treaties. One of the last long lasting treaties was beat in Israel in Egypt nineteen seventy eight and the same principle was used, and that is one of the most successful negotiation that is also almost the same principle applied.

32:41 He brought that to life so beautiful. Let's let our listeners and viewers consider that as we go into this next break here, considering your law of intention, what could they do to really help each party get one hundred percent of what they actually want. I'm your host, doctor Lee Cortez. We're on there with doctor Mehrad Nezzari, an executive advisor, corporate trainer, and speaker. He is a passionate practitioner of applies spirituality and believes in preserving the authenticity of the ancient wisdom practices and applying them in our daily lives in the twenty first century. We've been getting into some of the laws. After the break, we're going to go into the law of strength and the law of flexibility. We'll be right back.

33:35 Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies visioneer for a greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her at Eliscortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your employees working on purpose. This is Working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Alise alisee at elisecortes dot com. Now back to Working on Purpose.

34:26 Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to Working on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor release Cortes. As you know by now, this program is dedicated to empowering and inspiring you along your journey to realize more of your potential. I mentioned that my last book came out, The Great Revitalization, and it contains twenty two best practices to help you elevate your culture and your leadership for today's to earn your workforce. What I did for you is I created a very simple, three page free assessment you can take off my website at gustodesh now dot com. They will help you determine the extent to which your culture leadership are meeting the needs of today's workforce. If you are just now joining us, My guest is is Sorrysari, and he is the author of Enlightened Negotiation, eight universal laws to connect, create and prosper. So I skipped over the law of communication now because it's not super critical important, but because I know we're limited on time, and I wanted to hear your thoughts next on the law of strength and why is that important?

35:24 Say this before I get in. I'm sorry, now go ahead. I thought maybe around me for a second ago for weeks. Yeah, we these days, there's a lot of question about the style of negotiation. But forty years of research has proven that givers are smarter than the takers. And their two study was done that I would like to share. One of them was the metal analysis of almost twenty eight studies that was done the last thirty years trying to find out what distinguishes the great negotiator from the rest.

36:05 And these meta analysis, all these twenty eight studies shows that negotiators who care about the other side as much as they care about themselves are more successful and are a better negotiator. That is number one. Number two Vanderbilt University. Not long ago did they study first they send the neg First they measured the intelligence of the negotiators, and then this was through a series of analytical verbal reasoning process. After they measure their IQ, they send them to negotiate.

36:45 Sure enough, higher IQ was a big factor, but not in a way that most people think the higher IQ people the counterpart did better. The counterpart of people with higher Q IQ did better than the other one. And not because the high IQ people they were giving up the stores or they were pushovers. High IQ people, smarter people would expand the pie, They would create values. They would not leave the table unless they would add something for the other party without cost to themselves. So that is really important. As we talked about their strength, it's about not a physical strength. It's about how many lawyers you have, how many you know, the prestige of your office building. No, it's about knowledge, about knowing what is it that will truly need? What is it that the other party need? And I have to emphasize and distinguish between needs and wants because people show up with ones, but what is the need underneath that? So we should then confuse their needs and want And I can give example, but I think that is pretty clear. And their needs

38:16 are what brings us to the table, and for that for details, you know, we can go to the Maslow's hierarchy of needs that several times I have used it in my own negotiation and been very successful. You're sharing several examples in the book that really show that beautifully. Well. Part of the reason I wanted to talk about this one and not let it go is that you and I had an exchange about this and we wanted to showcase the research from George Land and Beth Jarman about creativity and how they were assessing younger children on this scale here. So if you could talk about that, because that's part of what we also teach at Customer Now is how important it is to cultivate creativity to provide more possible, more options.

39:01 Well, one of the biggest hurdle problems in negotiation is people's lack of flexibility. And flexibility is not a personality trait. It's something that we can learn and we can change. If we look at the flexibility as something that we do rather than who we are, will have to be more flexible. But the core principles of flexibility, as I said, is lack of option because we are not creative enough to create option. Yes, let me correct myself. This is not that we are not creative enough. We don't allow ourselves to be creative.

39:42 That's good. Yes, we just assume this was done in the past this way, so I'm going to assume it's going to be the same in the future. Every situation is different, and you have the opportunity. Again, I really would like to emphasize that as we started this conversation earlier, that we are spiritual being. We cannot deny that. And if you look at it, two divine being sitting in front of each other, that is the opportunity to create something noble, something unique, unique, and by that we need all the creativity that we need to we need to use to create different options. And in that study, you know, if you recall, it was from at the age of five percent ninety eight percent of the participant and that was a huge number of research about sixteen.

40:45 Hundred if want to say, sixteen hundred children five years old. Yes, yeah, sixteen hundred participants in this study. Yeah, they solved the same problem that they said. Tests that they give to NASA astronaut and scientists and engineer not for intelligent or knowledge, but for creativity. At the age of five, ninety eight percent of those kids solved it as a genius level. The same after five years at the age of ten, they gave it the same test to them. This time only thirty percent were able to solve it at the genius level, and the same fifteen years later.

41:31 By another they're fifteen years old. Another five years later, fifteen years old, only twelve percent were solved at the genius level. Wine, schooling, conditioning, restriction. These are limiting our self. And another study not related to this, but they made two hundred and eighty thousand people at the age of forty they gave them the same test. Only two percent did that. So it shows up by the time that around forty hall, we have limited we have ignored our creativity and that is something that we can practice and build more. Two when it comes to negotiation, to be more creative in negotiation.

42:22 I had to celebrate that, of course. So we're coming close to the end of the show, and I can't let you leave without talking about the law of manifestation. And that's of course what you be referred to as showtime. Well love manifestation. There are exactly that's a showtime we have done all the preparation, and preparation is really the key. There are certain universal principles and first of all, embracing the communality. Communality with people, with people who come to the negotiation is two things is universal. One of them everybody wants to be treated with respect. The other one is everybody wants to be treated with furnace. So those are true things that we have to remember and their studies done. Every single one of these things that I'm talking about, there's a great research behind it. And then we have to avoid the pitfalls. The pitfalls are first of all, most people show up in negotiations with a zero sum mentality that always if you get more yet less known. We just saw that at the David and Jasmine they both got one hundred percent. If we're open to sit down and embrace what is on going on and be creative and look at it differently. The other one is most people come to negotiation with a fixed position.

43:56 For example, I want this much child support, I want this much for selfalary, whereas what is beneficial for child is why not looking at the whole package instead of that? The same thing with salary, why not looking at the whole compensation from the company rather than just one fixed ideal. I want this much and that's it. So those are some of the things that hold us back. And I don't know how much extra you want me to go into this law of manifestation. The other one is a bat now, which is a pretty common term. Best alternative to negotiation to agree, yeah to, best alternative to negotiated agreement.

44:45 So when we are at the sort of conclusion with our negotiation, if we have done our homework, we have done our market research, we know possibilities out there, so we have a back pocket sort of alternative. Always know what would you do before you go to the negotiating a table, and that's what been your back now, so you know when to talk and when it's time to walk. Well, this negotiation doesn't work, I have bitter alternative somewhere else there is stronger your back now, stronger your position will be in negotiation.

45:27 It's so beautiful. I've learned so much from you in the book, and I want to just just share a little bit from your law of reflection because I think this is such a beautiful practice that you include in the laws here. After you have been through a negotiation, and you consider and you reflect back on it, and you say in your book that rather the resolve that you won't do the same if you see somebody doing something that that's wrong, that you don't want to do, and instead reflect on and measure and evaluate how you practiced enlightened negotiation. After you've done an agreement, and consider things like are you better off? Is the other side better off? Have you made a positive contribution to the world around you? Could you have done this more intelligently? Have you maximized your resources? Are your relationships stronger? That is so powerful, Maron, It's so beautiful. I can't imagine too many people would have very good answers to these questions because of the way they practice negotiation today.

46:21 Well, we have to start. I mean we we are divine being. As a matter of fact, many culture, when you interact with each other, we refer to that as that. You know a lot of people they practice yoga. No must say, no, must stay. The divinity within me honors the divinity within you. In Austrian language, grustrat that is how they say, agree to each other, so look to God. This is when they inter see each other. Those are all fine, because we know who we are, but we have to step up and act from that place. Yeah, and so beautiful. So you probably know in our conversations that the show is listening to my people around the world, and they tune in because they want to become better versions of themselves. They want to become more effective and inspirational leaders. They want to learn how to lead their organizations to a higher level. What would you like to leave them with?

47:18 I really would like to invite them, invite them to this three question? What is your gift today? As you listen to this some of these things you really you knew what I was talking about and those are that and you do it already. Those are your gift. Acknowledge them. Number two, what's your dream as a result of this conversation? How do you see it would be a better version of you, It would be a better version of world when we act that way. And then what's your plan? How are you going to get there? You know my book is available through my website and I'm available to answer the question if you have. My email is on the website, and waish you the best in all of your interactions and negotiations.

48:17 And I will share that website here as we close. It is such an honor and a pleasure to email you and consider you a colleague and a friend. Doctor Nasari, thank you very much for writing this book, sharing your wisdom and coming on to talk with us about it today. Thank you for having this platform for us to share this and make our world a better place. Thank you, Alissen most most welcome listeners and viewers. You are going to want to learn more about doctor Merad Nassari, the work that he does, and his books. You can go to his website it's enlightenednegotiation dot com. So enlightened e n l I g h T E n ed negotiation dot com. Last week, if you missed the live show, you can always catch if you recorded podcast, We are on Air with Futurists. Forshad to Bakawala talking about his book Rethinking Work, Seisic Changes and the Where, when and Why.

49:08 He shared how leaders can stay ahead by rethinking work and embracing transformation from evolving organizational models to the new why behind work. He talked about what it takes to lead and thrive in the work, for the workplace and in the business of tomorrow. Let's see you next week for yet another enlightening and elevating conversation. Let's continue leaning in and discovering how to elevate your operating system as a leader and create destination workplaces where legendary business takes place. Let's work on Purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to tune into Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes, each week on W four C. Why. Together, we'll create a world where business operates conscientiously. Leadership inspires and passion performance and employees are fulfilled in work that provides the meaning and purpose they crave. And we'll see you there.

49:57 Let's work on Purpose.