The Epic Call to Men to Support Women in Leadership

WEBVTT

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five, it's working

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on purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Thanks for tuning

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in again this week. I'm your
host, Elise Cortes. Joining you live

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from Dallas, Texas, which is
home base for me. If you've been

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tuning in for a while, you
know this program is all about helping people

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create more meaningful and productive personal and
work lives and equipping leaders insight organizations to

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cultivate meaning and purpose to elicit passion, inspired contribution, innovation, and persevering

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performance. I converse with my guests
to draw on their expertise and share my

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own experience researching, consulting, speaking, and developing workforce across the globe.

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In these weekly conversations, it is
my intention that you derive value you can

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immediately apply to your personal and work
lives. So I invite you to listen

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in from that vantage point, and
it is my fervent hope that you come

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alive with the possibility of living with
passion, working on purpose, and seeing

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just how big and fulfilling your life
and work can be. And if you

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do catch fire, as I like
to say, I don't want to leave

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you without a support line. Your
call to action is to reach out to

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me via email at at least court
at least at leastcore test dot com,

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or use the contact me feature on
my website at leastcore test dot com to

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message me tell me how I can
help. Whether you want to join the

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distribution list to stay informed of these
radio show topics, you want to learn

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about joining a catch fire online inspiration, accountability or mastermind community, or you

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want information on my purpose driven leadership
programs for individuals and companies. We'll get

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you taken care of. Back to
the content. If you missed last week's

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program, you can always catch it
via recorded podcast. We were on the

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air with Angela Langlots, an intellectual
property attorney specializing in an online trademark and

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copyright issues. An entrepreneur herself and
having marketed products online for over ten years,

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Angela is acutely aware of the unique
issues that online marketers face with regard

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to domain name issues, copyright issues, and cyber squatting. We talked about

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how entrepreneurs can protect and monetize their
ideas with us this week is JG.

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Batella, the author of Bring Your
Strength, the invitation men have been waiting

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for. It is a new leadership
paradigm which supports women leaders and the hidden

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demographic of men in leadership positions who
are ready to actively support women's leadership.

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He is the co founder of Bring
your Strength dot com and Fierce Women LLC,

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a platform which brings together strong women
leaders to share their stories with girls

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and help them build an expanded sense
of what's possible for their futures. We'll

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be talking about the problem of how
women leaders are supported in the workplace,

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the opportunity he sees to address it
through a special invitation to men, and

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the when both genders and future generations
will reap He joins us today from Pittsburgh,

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Pennsylvania. JG. Welcome to Working
on Purpose. Oh Alis, thank

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you so much and I'm thrilled to
be on the show. I'm really excited

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for this conversation. Thanks again for
having me. Well, you're welcome,

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Jagie. I'm really really happy to
help support and evangelize your cause. I

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believe in what you're up to.
You are clearly a man on a crusade

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for inclusivity and an advocate for equality
for all. So to get a start,

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because what I think is great about
this, if I can just point

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out the obvious, You're a man
out there, yeah, trying to catalyze

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women's leadership, and I think that's
great. So let's start talking a little

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bit about the worth that maybe got
you interested. And I know something about

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the Fierce Women Portrait project, but
I'm not sure if that's where it started,

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right right, definitely, thanks Alise
for asking. Yeah, my background

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is in the arts. I'm a
musician, a painter, So my background

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is in the arts and education and
really in social justice. And you know,

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for whatever reason, those are the
things that I was really wired.

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That's how I'm wired. I think
I really came in to this world loving

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music and painting and visual arts just
so much from a very young age.

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And I also was always obsessed with
equality. And I don't know why I'm

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wired that way. I've just always
been obsessed with equality. I'm still obsessed

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with equality, and you know,
there's so many things that I could never

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understand as far as wire things like
this, you know, and it seems

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so basic to me that everybody should
be treated equally. I don't even think

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it's complex. Whether it's race or
gender or orientation, we should be treated

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equally. And I think when you
say it like that, it seems so

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simple, you know. And so
but yeah, I remember from a very

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young age, and for me,
the intro was I remember being at my

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grandmother's house and she had those Time
Life magazines and big Time Life books on

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our coffee table, and I remember
reading those of those big, amazing pictures

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and they had the Civil Rights movement
in there, and I was very just

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riveted to those images doctor King and
the folks, you know, in the

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Civil Rights movement. And it was
kind of thing where I was so young

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where I didn't fully understand to comprehend
what was going on in those photos,

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but I knew something big and huge
was happening, and I was so just

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inexplicably just drawn to that and transfixed
by those images. And then as I

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got older, I started to understand
what was going on in those images,

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and and then my next question,
as I got a little bit older,

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became you know, wow, I
just became a really curious around how does

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one do that? Like, how
does a human being some in the requisite

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courage needed to go do what they
did to fight injustice or to fight for

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equality. I just couldn't even wrap
my head around how you could summon that

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amount of courage. So I was
very you know, and I went on

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to, you know, to really
stay with that that obsession, and I

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pressed itself through my work. I'm
a musician, as I said, and

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I created this concept album called The
Divided States of America. It's a whole

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album on race in America. And
I was constantly teaching and doing workshops and

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talking about and writing about, you
know, how to get past these these

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problems. And I was really focused
on race in America, you know,

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and I was I was writing about
this conversation we could be having, you

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know, there's this conversation we have
now, but there's this other conversation we

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could be having about race, but
we never get there. And so that

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that was my background for a long
time. And it was interesting because I

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never really regarding men and women and
gender and gender equity. I never studied

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that and I never did work in
that arena, and you know, I

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supported the work, but it was
like, you know, at the time,

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you know, I had I have
an older sister, a younger sister,

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and they asked me, why aren't
you out there sports lumens And I

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said, I support it, I
just not you know, My thought at

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the time was, well, you
know, it's like if there's a doctor

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working on a cure for cancer,
you're not going to ask them, like,

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why aren't you working on Alzheimer's support. It's like, hey, I

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support Alzheimer's, you know, research. But you know, but really what's

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interesting is about five and a half
years ago the work found me, and

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it was through art because I had
just wanted to get back or really into

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portrait painting. I had never done
it. I hadn't painted in ages.

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And I just asked a friend of
mine and saw the striking photograph and I

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said, wow, can I paint
a portrait of that? And she said

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yeah, sure. She painted this
portrait and then she fell in love with

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the portrait and said, now I
this is great. Can I buy this

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from you? And I said sure, yeah, wow, thanks, So

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then I did another one with another
friend and then a colleague, and so,

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to be honest, the least,
the whole project just really did kind

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of take on a life of its
own. And you know, so I

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started doing all these paintings, and
I don't know, six months or so

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went by, and I had one
of those epiphany moments where I kind of

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picked up my head, looked around
and said, wow, you know,

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all of these women whose portraits I'm
painting are some incredible strong women leaders.

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There's some really fierce wimen and I
thought, wow, that'd be a great

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name. I should do a portrait
series and I should just call the whole

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series the Fierce Women Series. And
so that's what I did. I started

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to do that. But what happened
was the more I talked to all these

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awesome women leaders from all over the
country, started in Pittsburgh, where I'm

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from, and it was the interest
level was really high and everyone, I

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love that name, Fierce Women's is
great. And what happened was I really

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started to be intentional about what do
these women care about and just listening to

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them, like what do they value
and what do they care about most?

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And I found that all these women
leaders from again, cross sector, law,

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journalism, arts, medicine, hire
ed, cross sectors and industries that

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they all there's this commonality where they
all valued leadership development and mentoring and they

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really really valued being able to share
their stories in a way that would impact,

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inspire and help young women and girls. It was just a common thing.

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And so what we did was we
started to have events and Carnagian Mellon

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University here in Pittsburgh they sponsored us. We parted with youth serving nonprofits in

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the city, and then we did
an event with Brown University and Providence and

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the youth serving nonprofits there, and
then with Harvard started a series part of

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the Portress he was there, and
then about twelve different cities across the country

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where I represented women leaders from those
different cities and just kind of grew very

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organically. But what happened was when
we started having those events, the feedback

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was such that, you know,
the women would say, you know,

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this is great because it doesn't feel
like a regular leadership networking event. Different.

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You know, it's like I'm hearing
my colleagues share their story with these

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girls, but somehow witnessing what happens
when the girls hear the story, and

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these are all women who, frankly, these girls would never have an opportunity

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to really meet in a group.
You know, they're not they're not going

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to meet these women just they're not
going to look in these CEO biography dusty

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tones on a shelf somewhere, like
they don't even know all these awesome women

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in their own communities. So so
anyway, that that's what we did.

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And and over time, over of
course, for a couple of years,

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what began to happen was a lot
of the women leaders said to me,

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you know, JG. We love
what you're doing, We love fear of

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wimmen, we love this whole thing. But you know, it would be

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really great if we could get more
men involved, Like how do we get

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more men engaged, you know,
in terms of supporting women's leadership, supporting

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gender equity, supporting this idea of
an unlimited future for girls, and like

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all of this, Like how do
you get more guys involved? And I,

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honestly, it's like I didn't have
an answer to that question. You

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know, I don't you know,
I don't know, you know, And

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of course there are movements out there
that there's a heat for she you know,

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there's all kinds of great stuff going
on, but still, you know,

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it's it's what's the language. And
this gets into what we're doing now

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with with Bring Your Strength, is
what's this new normal we're trying to get

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to and how do we talk about
it? What's the actual language? And

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I think that's the work we're doing
with organizations is giving them a framework and

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an actual lexicon. And I'd like
to get hopefully get back to that a

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little more, get the more in
depth with that. But it's it's,

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you know, we don't even have
the language for how we're supposed to navigate

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and get to this this new normal, you know. Yeah, And I

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do want to talk more about that
after we get into the next the next

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segment, so we have time to
really to dive into it. But before

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we do that, if you could
jj two things both from the women's and

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then the men's vantage point. So
for women, just very briefly, what

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are you hearing from them that's not
working in terms of being leaders in the

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Workplace's what's the problem there for them? Well, you know, I think

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the stuff that you hear about,
well, there's of course, you know,

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on the spectrum you have harassment,
you know, on the real end

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of the blatant harassment abuse, you
know, the horrible stuff that gave rise

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to me too, moving that whole
part of the spectrum, which is just

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you know, horrible and awful,
you know, but then you have moving

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a little bit of a way a
lot further on the spectrum. The women

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have told me, you know,
the more subtle aspects of it, the

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more you know, not being included
in the crucial conversation. It's not going

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out to the golf course, not
just there's so many opportunities that are just

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they're frankly not privy to because they're
just not in social network, you know,

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and so they're they're missing out on
deals, missing out on promotions,

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they're missing out and this is even
with you know, people who aren't necessarily

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being inappropriate or harassing or anything like
that, but it's just they're not part

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of it, you know, So
they miss out on the opportunities. And

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then I think also too, you
know, And I've had really amazing conversations

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over the past couple of years with
all these women leaders that I've sought out

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again from across sectors, and I've
sought them out from the perspective of,

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Hey, your leaders, what does
it look like for men to you know,

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seek out leadership from women leaders and
listen and hear what it is that

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they're asking for and what they want
and what their vision is, and you

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know, and and and so for
me personally, part of my journey.

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So like me personally, I don't
know if it's only because of how I

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grew up, but I grew up
with an older sister or a younger sister,

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a mom who's super strong woman,
and my wife I always joked at

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my wife and my mom were like
the fiercest woman I know, which is

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true. And so for me,
I'm not I was never threatened by a

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woman's power, threatened by strong women
or like to me, I always was

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inspired and energized by strong women.
And you know, so to me that

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that wasn't a thing. But I
think that because of how we're socialized.

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You know, we're brought up as
boys. You could be strong, be

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tough, don't your emotions, don't
be assist you don't be a girl.

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You know, you're still brought up
this way. We're still these old ideas

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about what it means to be strong
and have power, needs to be weak,

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and and so all these these messages
we still carry with us. And

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so I think it's hard because if
for a lot of guys who grew up

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with that and perhaps didn't unpack all
that or shed all that, they're still

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carrying that around and trying not to
look weak or so then a strong woman

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comes in, and frankly, they're
threatened by her power, you know.

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And so unless they're really cure on
their own masculinity and men so that they're

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going to be threatened by her power. And so it's challenging and it's jarring,

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and so really it's sad because consequently, I can't tell you how many

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conversations I've had with strong women leaders
women leaders who are just really in organizations

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where a lot of the guys are
with are threatened by their power. Okay,

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you know, now that's all right, but I just want to add

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the real tail ended up that being
said, though, there are lots of

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professional women who have talked to who
hasten to the ad that, hey,

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I have a great colleague who really
helped me and who really sponsored me,

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and there are a lot of wonderful
men in my organization. So they're not

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They're not male bashing, you know, they're not. They're saying there are

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a lot of great, great guys
in the organization too, but I have

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had challenges with some of the guys
who just don't want to see me make

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a decision or whatever, you know. M hm, So real quick to

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finish this part on women then,
So just in a nutshell, what are

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women really asking of men in the
workplace in your view? Right? Right?

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So? I think I think really
a lot of the women are asking

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for a seat at the table.
They're asking for Hey, don't don't just

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mentor young women in the organization.
Don't don't just mentor us, sponsor us,

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you know, like, do the
same thing you do for the young

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men. Speak up for us,
recommend us, bring us to the table,

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take an active proact. And that's
the number one thing I'm hearing now,

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especially as you know, in the
wake of Me Too, and then

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in the wake of the current diversity
inclusion sort of modality is which is valuable

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and important as a step one,
which is, Okay, let's teach you

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about your unconscious implicit biases around gender. We have them around everything, raise

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gender everything. But it's like,
what we're going to train the men and

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teach them about their implicit biases so
we can bring that to light and then

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deal with it. And that's great. Problem is there's not a really powerful

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compelling step two. What comes after
that step one? And that's the work

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that Christina, my business partner with
Fiercet women and brings strength or so passion

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about addressing and giving Is this step
too? You know? But so that's

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the thing is okay, fine,
you did the training, you showed up.

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But I think to get back your
question at least is the women are

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so many are asking, Okay,
how do we get the men into action?

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How do we move them into action? How do we activate them?

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And see and just to draw a
distinction and the nuances, we're not talking

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about making men activists and hardcore feminist
activists who are going to go march for

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women's rights every single day of their
lives. We're not talking about activists and

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activism. We're just talking about activating. How do we give them a way

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to be proactive and do more than
because a lot of men want to do

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more than just sort of come to
the obligatory diversity conclusion training. Learn a

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few things DA learn, have some
epiphanies, but then how do we give

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them away to move into action as
sort of on an ongoing basis. Okay,

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great, hold that thought. JG. Let's grab our first break because

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I want to talk more about that
when we get to the next segment segment.

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I'm your host, Alis Cortez.
We've been on the air with JG.

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Bucella. He's the author of Bring
Your Strength, the invitation men have

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been waiting for. It is a
new leadership paradigm which supports women leaders and

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the hidden demographic of men in leadership
positions who are ready to actively support women's

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leadership. You joined you today from
Pittsburgh. We've been talking a bit about

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how we got into this business and
what he's up to to help women.

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After the break, we're going to
talk about the opportunity that exists to be

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able to bring men into this conversation. Stay with us, We'll be right

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back. Alis Cortez is a speaker
and engagement and development catalyst. She designs

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00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:51.200
and delivers professional development, leadership and
engagement workshops and can bring her expertise to

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your organization. She will help ignite
meaningful development within your workforce that will increase

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employee engagement, performance and retention.
To learn more or to invite Elise to

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speak to your organization, please visit
her at www dot Elise Coortes dot com.

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She would welcome the opportunity to help
get your employees working on purpose.

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This is working on Purpose with Elise
Cortes. To reach our program today,

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00:19:22.759 --> 00:19:29.599
send an email to a lease A
Lise at Elisecortes dot com. Now back

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to working on Purpose. If you're
just joining us. My guest is JG.

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Boutella. He's the author of Bring
Your Strength, the invitation men have

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been waiting for. It is a
new leadership paradigm which supports women leaders and

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the hidden demographic of men in leadership
positions who are ready to actively support women's

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leadership. He is the co founder
of Bring your Strength dot com and Fierce

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Women LC, a platform which brings
together strong women leaders to share their stories

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with girls and help them build an
expanded sense of what's possible for their futures.

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I'm your host, Elise Cortes.
Gee, if we can, I

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want to really focus next on the
on the male part of the equation here.

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And when I read your book,
one of the things that you said

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that what women really want is they
want men to be a man rather than

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a boy, and have men be
comfortable in their masculinities so they can show

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up, contribute, listen, and
work in a team, so they don't

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want them not to be men.
But what you also say in your book

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is that the current model to engagement
is allies to women is incomplete. Say

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more about that, right exactly,
at least thank you. So Really,

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as I said before, there's there's
a great step one currently you know in

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this step one is hey, look, just like anything, before we can

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change, we have to have an
awareness of the behavior, like how we're

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supposed to change, not even aware
of it. So that's really a lot

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of the prevalent work right now with
diversity inclusion around gender equity and engaging men

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as allies. And there are a
lot of great programs out there in corporate

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settings, non other settings that are
doing this work, which lawed I think

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is good work and it's research based, so it's important, and I just

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want to emphasize that I would in
no way minimize the value of that work.

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I think it's an important first step. I just think there's a big,

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huge missed opportunity right now and that
there is a this this group of

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men who are in this middle of
the spectrum that I call this hidden demographic

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of men, so really who get
it and care, but who aren't necessarily

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activists per se, but who give
them where I signed to say, Yeah,

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of course women should get paid the
same as men for doing the same

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work. It's it's a no brainer. So there are a lot of men

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who fall in this hidden demographic category. But the thing is, right now,

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there isn't this compelling invitation to them. So there's this step one around.

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Okay, all right, guys,
we're going to have the diversity inclusion

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training at the organization and we'd like
you to come and we're going to teach

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you about your implicit biases. So
that's a different, really phenomenal programming out

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there where it's like, wow,
it was amazing. You know, we

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just like, well, it was
really deep and we got to it and

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had these epiphanies and worked together.
And you know what I've heard time and

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time again talking to folks in different
organizations again across sectors, all across the

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country over this past year, is
that you know, we had a great

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event with implicit buyings training. It
was really deep and powerful, and then

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like four weeks later, like nothing's
changed in the organization. And it's not

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for any ill will or anything,
but it's like there's not an embeddable framework

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that corporations can organizations can iterate upon. There's not a framework that they can

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take up as an as a experiencial
learning kind of process and then embed it

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and then iterate on it. Right, you know. And but even aside

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from that more technical thing about embedding
a program in an organization, just on

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an energetic level, and this is
getting at your question. At least think

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about on an energetic level, even
for the guys who are willing and who

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decent guys who you know, yeah, let's do this. Let's go to

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this thing. Of course, you
know, we'll do the right things.

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Women should be treated with respect,
you know, good guy, what can

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I do even for them? Still
the message, the energy, if you

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think about it, it's still kind
of one of okay, guys, come

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on, let's go to this implicit
bias meaning training thing. We should do

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it. We should really, you
know, we should go have the women,

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we should show up for the wind's
the way thing to do. Let's

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do it, you know, so
that's the kind of energy and and and

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see that the elephant in the room
is really kind of this unexamined, unexplored

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stuff around social psychology, psychological social
how we have been socialized to understand strengths.

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And that's why the book and the
program shall bring your strength, because

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that's the invitation to these men in
the hidden demographic. It is, Hey,

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guys, guess what you don't have
to leave your strength in masculinity and

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maleness, in your ideas of what
it means to be strong. Is you

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don't have to leave that at the
door. Bring it. Bring your strength,

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Bring all your ideas of what it
means to be as strong as a

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person, as a leader, as
a coworker, colleague, and as a

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man, not the toxic masculinity whatever, but your positive idea of masculinity and

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that bring that to the table.
Okay, And see yeah, so hold

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on, I want to grab to
the real quick if I can real quick,

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so because we're going to talk more
about that, but I want to

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make sure that the audience can understand
and distinguish something that I think is very

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important that you do in your book. And I think that that whole idea

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of the hidden demographic embedded within the
spectrum that you've described as is profoundly important

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for them to get, for all
of us to get, because to identify

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where we are in that spectrum is
the start, I think, so really

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quick. So you talk about the
middle of the spectrum between the academics who

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study gender equity full time as being
one end of the spectrum and the hateful

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sexist on the very very farther up
other end of the spectrum. And it's

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those perspectives in the middle that we
that are really the hidden demographic that probably

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has the ability to be tapped and
developed. So I think it's really important

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that listeners here that there's this wide
variety of people along that spectrum. And

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then, you know, because you
do talk about you know, how they

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how men and boys have been socialized
to define their strength. You said that

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in the beginning, you know,
to be strong, to deny physical pain,

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to deny fear and sadness, and
embrace aggression and anger. That goes

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back to the energy thing that you
were talking about. If we're coming into

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this conversation really you know, against
all interests or will or being even sort

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of apathetic about it, that's different
than engaging from that normal you know,

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air quotes normal male perspective of strength. So now the question becomes what is

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the essential position of the message to
invite men to engage and support women leaders.

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That's great, Yeah, so what's
the invitation? Right, what is

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the actual invitation? Yeah, what's
the nature? And and and here's the

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thing and and that's so instead of
that other energy like Okay, come on,

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guys, we should do this.
This, this invitation is hey,

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guys, let's build something this this, come and build something together. And

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and and I always use the analogy
of of habitat for humanity, and and

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I talk about how it's it's really
human nature, Like why do people do

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volunteer work? Well, it's human
nature. It feels good to do good,

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right, We feel good when we
help others. So it's very it's

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a human nature to do that.
And with habitats for humanity, it's like

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think about that, Hey, guys, this family needs a home, Like

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they literally need a house. Let's
let's all come together and help them.

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And we're going to physically build them
a house. So when you're done with

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that, what do you get to
walk away from as the human being?

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What's what's the feeling you get to
walk away from with. It's not like,

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oh, that was cool, It's
like, WHOA, how amazing is

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that we've literally just built this family
a home. So you get to walk

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away feeling that that's a powerful feeling. So my thought was with this work,

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what would it be like to invite
men to an experience where they could

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walk away a feeling like they just
built something with a group of amazing people.

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So the invitation is guys to come
and build. Let's come, bring

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your full masculineame, bring all your
strengths and come to the table with these

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amazing women leaders and let's co create
and co lead and let's build this amazing

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future. And the thing about it
is this isn't hype either, Like this

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is the epic call that men have
been waiting for. This the book is

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bringing strength to invitation men have been
waiting for. So it's really an epic

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call. It's like, if you
really think about it again, it's not

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00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:59.519
hyperbole because it's right now. We
have daughters who've got what eight year olds,

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ten year old, twelve year olds
who are who are still dealing with

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00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:07.039
this idea of what they can and
cannot do and what are the norms and

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00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:12.279
what are the There's still so much
work to do, and so that if

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we do this work now it's imperative
that we do it globally, I mean,

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but the work that we come together
and do is men from our places

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strength, with our positive masculinity,
in collaboration with women to change this is

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literally going to have repercussions and reverberations
for generations, for our daughters, our

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granddaughters. So it's like, this
is an epic call. So so think

404
00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:41.400
of the energy of that, and
you don't and again, you don't have

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to be an activist. You don't
have to be me someone like me who's

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writing about this or talking about it
on shows like this is just part of

407
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:51.680
my past. But that's we don't
need a bunch of guys like me talking

408
00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:56.200
about it like this in this particular
fashion. It's for for lack of a

409
00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:59.440
better term, every guy, regular
men, just guys who you know,

410
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:04.839
regular guys who are good guys you
know, who care about their daughters and

411
00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:08.759
granddaughters. They don't even have to
have daughters. But it's like, this

412
00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:12.640
is an epic call, and I
think men respond to epic calls and to

413
00:29:12.759 --> 00:29:18.160
an invitation to build something powerful from
a place of their own power and strength.

414
00:29:19.960 --> 00:29:23.240
Okay, so JG beautiful, and
that right there is the reason I

415
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:26.680
wanted to have you on the show. I think that the work that you're

416
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:32.599
up to is something that society desperately
needs and that both men and women win

417
00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:34.039
when we do this, Right,
That's why we want to have you on

418
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:37.039
the show. Right And the fact
that this is something you're welcome. This

419
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:41.799
is also something that's not going to
help just us, but also the generations

420
00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:45.079
to come. And I think it's
profoundly important to give voice too. And

421
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:48.680
so what I want to really call
out here for our listeners is I appreciate

422
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.440
how you've distinguished something to invite the
men. There's no shoulting in there.

423
00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:56.480
There, no you shouldn't, don't
be a man, and don't be less

424
00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:00.160
of a man, none of that. It's we're inviting you to build something.

425
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:03.759
And I think that is a wonderful
way to invite men into the conversation

426
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:08.400
and into the effort. So I
really want to applaud how choiceful and careful

427
00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:12.799
you've been about your wording. It
seems to me that that would be an

428
00:30:12.799 --> 00:30:18.599
invitation that men would would would want
to accept. Yeah, I absolutely think

429
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:22.559
so. And I think it's so
many men that I've talked to, you

430
00:30:22.599 --> 00:30:26.039
know again, they all they fall
into this. So many men I know

431
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:30.880
fall into this hidden demographic. You
know who, you know, decent guys

432
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:33.440
who And I always say is a
litmus says I always say, Like to

433
00:30:33.519 --> 00:30:37.720
a guy who's maybe it is forties
or fifty, you know, say that,

434
00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:38.960
say to him, Okay, hey, look, so your daughter's about

435
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:45.519
to graduate college and get a job, and hey, you know, is

436
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:48.599
it okay, she's gonna she's gonna
start and we're going to pay her about

437
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:52.119
eighty percent of this guy next to
her in class next next month after graduation.

438
00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:56.759
You go with that, You cool
with that. And so these guys

439
00:30:56.759 --> 00:30:59.480
gonna be like, what you want
to pay my daughter eighty percent of this

440
00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:02.119
knucklehead you sit next to her?
Like, what do you mean You're gonna

441
00:31:02.119 --> 00:31:04.559
say? Here, eighty percent?
So it's it's ridiculous, Like it's it's

442
00:31:04.599 --> 00:31:07.799
a no it's a no brainer.
And yet the science and not the science,

443
00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:11.799
the research shows us that the rate
we're going now is going to be

444
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.519
eighty more years to women get paid
the same. So it's really ridiculous,

445
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:19.720
like they and so many men see
this, you know. Now, look

446
00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:22.559
that being said, though at least
the other things, it's also important to

447
00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:29.160
note change isn't easy. People fight
change, Change takes time. Change,

448
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:33.640
it's uncomfortable. Yeah, it's uncomfortable. Personal changes is uncomfortable. Personal growth

449
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:37.000
is on personal growth every day getting
shaped. There's so many things that there's

450
00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:41.559
a nurse shop and it's and it's
individual, and it's it's group. It's

451
00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:45.960
societal too. So we're talking about
social change and that's hard. And we're

452
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:51.039
also talking about within organizations changing the
norm, a cultural norm within any organization.

453
00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:53.160
We're trying to get to a new
normal. So guess what people are

454
00:31:53.160 --> 00:31:56.119
going to fight it. They're gonna
be and and they're going to be people

455
00:31:56.119 --> 00:32:00.279
on the ends of the spectrum who
are going to be mad and are going

456
00:32:00.319 --> 00:32:02.599
to try to stop it. And
you can put a robe block and just

457
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:07.079
call your names or whatever. Right, that's kind of like the nature of

458
00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:13.400
the beast. But we really can't
let that stop us, because that the

459
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:17.519
hind demographic that's the lever for change, and the rest will follow. I

460
00:32:17.559 --> 00:32:22.359
get that now. Along those lines, I do hear you about the resistance

461
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:25.480
to change and growth is terribly uncomfortable. We know that, and it's very

462
00:32:25.480 --> 00:32:29.160
hard to change that tide. But
one of the other things that you talk

463
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.799
about in the book that I think
is very compelling and I think it would

464
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:36.119
help men at least take notice of
the conversation and at least listen for a

465
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:39.559
moment, and that is that strong
women value men comfortable in their masculinity.

466
00:32:39.720 --> 00:32:43.839
Same more about that, right,
yeah, oh, definitely, definitely.

467
00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:47.519
And that's the other thing that again
came up from all these conversations. And

468
00:32:47.839 --> 00:32:52.839
this is me just again, I'm
not putting myself out there here. Let

469
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:54.079
me tell you about what women want. I'm no expert on that. I'm

470
00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:59.039
saying here's what I've heard from the
women I've talked to, Like, here's

471
00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:04.599
what I'm hearing from these conversations and
in the conversations from so many very strong

472
00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:08.200
women in leadership role as powerful women. It's like, yeah, I don't

473
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:12.119
want a passive man. I don't
in the workplace or at home. I

474
00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:15.240
don't want a weak person. I
don't want to emasculate you. That's not

475
00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:19.359
what I want. I want a
man who's a man and not a boy

476
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:22.640
in the workplace and at home.
I want a man who's who's grown up,

477
00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:28.880
who's secure in his manhood, who's
not threatened by me if I want

478
00:33:28.920 --> 00:33:32.079
to do X, Y or Z. But but I don't want to take

479
00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:36.759
away his man I don't want to
emasculate him. So that's you know,

480
00:33:36.759 --> 00:33:39.680
and that's the thing that gets really
sort of complicated in there. Get it

481
00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:45.400
gets it gets very mixed up.
But it's true. So many women it's

482
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:47.240
like, yeah, that's not what
we're asking for. And I think a

483
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:52.359
lot of men don't know that.
There's a lot of you know, lack

484
00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:58.160
of clarity too around Yeah, what
what do they want to be? Right?

485
00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:00.759
And what are they asking of us? Yeah? Okay, Well let's

486
00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:04.880
let rob our last break here because
I want to focus the last bit of

487
00:34:04.920 --> 00:34:07.360
this conversation on the win for both
the genders. So hangtiver just a second.

488
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:10.159
J G. I'm Elise Cortez,
your host. We've been on the

489
00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:13.960
air with JG. Bachella. He
is the author of Bring Your Strength,

490
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:16.559
the invitation men have been waiting for. It is a new leadership paradigm which

491
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:21.639
supports women leaders and the hidden demographic
of men in leadership. Positions who are

492
00:34:21.639 --> 00:34:24.639
ready to actively support women's leadership.
He joined it today from Pittsburgh. We'll

493
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:37.960
be right back. Stay with us. Alis Cortez is a speaker and engagement

494
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:45.039
and development catalyst. She designs and
delivers professional development, leadership and engagement workshops

495
00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:49.800
and can bring her expertise to your
organization. She will help ignite meaningful development

496
00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:53.960
within your workforce that will increase employee
engagement, performance and retention. To learn

497
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:58.800
more or to invite Elise to speak
to your organization, please visit her at

498
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:04.599
www. Elisecortes dot com. She
would welcome the opportunity to help get your

499
00:35:04.679 --> 00:35:15.440
employees working on purpose. This is
working on purpose with Elise Cortes. To

500
00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:21.480
reach our program today, send an
email to a lease A l Se at

501
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:28.400
elisecortes dot com. Now back to
working on purpose. If you're just joining

502
00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:30.079
us, My guest is JG.
Butchella. He's the author of Bring Your

503
00:35:30.119 --> 00:35:34.679
Strength, The imitation men have been
waiting for. It is a new leadership

504
00:35:34.679 --> 00:35:37.599
paradigm which supports women leaders and the
hidden demographic of men in leadership positions who

505
00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:42.519
are ready to actively support women's leadership. He is the co founder of Bring

506
00:35:42.519 --> 00:35:45.920
Your Strength dot com. And Fierce
Women LLC, a platform which brings together

507
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:51.079
strong women leaders to share their stories
with girls and help them build an expanded

508
00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:54.440
sense of what's possible for their futures. I'm your host, Elise Cortes so

509
00:35:54.639 --> 00:35:58.679
JG. For this last segment here, I want to focus on the win

510
00:35:58.920 --> 00:36:02.639
for both parties, men and women
here. So we started to talk about

511
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:07.119
this in the last segment here.
But why would men want to accept this

512
00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:09.800
invitation? What's in it for them? Yeah, that's a great question,

513
00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:15.960
right because it seems like a you're
you know, the current paradigm. It

514
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:19.760
kind of seems like you're asking me
to give something up. You're asking me

515
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:23.199
to give away some of my power
and my strength. You want to take

516
00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:25.719
my power so you can have more
of it, like it's a zero sum

517
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:30.639
game kind of thing, like,
whereas it's not. It's kind of like,

518
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:36.880
well, even for example, with
love, if I have two pieces

519
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:38.280
of pizza and I give you a
piece, I have less pizza now.

520
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:43.079
But if I have love in my
heart and I give you love now,

521
00:36:43.079 --> 00:36:45.199
I have more love because it generates
more love. So I think it's actually

522
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:50.559
similar with strengths. I mean,
when you give this kind of strength away.

523
00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:53.440
It makes you a stronger man.
Like for me as a man,

524
00:36:53.639 --> 00:37:02.440
when I am in that process of
listening and supporting and collaborating and and really

525
00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:07.000
trying to get to how do we
how do we move the needle? And

526
00:37:07.079 --> 00:37:09.840
so many of the women leaders I've
talked to have said to me, hey,

527
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:14.679
you know, I just wanted to
be for humanity. You know,

528
00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:16.800
it's not like I have a woman
only agenda. You know, it's like

529
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:21.760
they always really somebody hasten to add
to the conversation. Look, I'm not

530
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:22.960
trying to put men down. I'm
not trying to We don't want to run

531
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:28.039
everything. And and and that gets
to this thing that I call the fear

532
00:37:28.039 --> 00:37:30.679
of the takeover. That's the psychological
phenomenon, this sort of thing of like

533
00:37:31.119 --> 00:37:35.000
the fear of the takeover is you're
like, what do they want now?

534
00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:37.280
You know? Next, so you
know, they're gonna want all the Senators

535
00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:39.840
have to be women and all the
congressations. They're not going to stop so

536
00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:43.880
everybody's a woman, and you know, and that's the fear of the takeover.

537
00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:45.840
Same with race, you talked about
racial equity. It's like, what

538
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:49.559
do they want now? We gave
him that they're not going to stop till

539
00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:53.679
we own everything, and and gender, you know, race, orientation,

540
00:37:54.199 --> 00:37:57.960
you know what. The gay people
want to get married. They want marriage.

541
00:37:58.000 --> 00:38:00.880
You're calling now. They're gonna like
take over and they're gonna make us

542
00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:04.239
get married. And they're gonna make
everybody gay. Oh my god, they're

543
00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:07.000
gonna make my kids gay. And
it's like, and that may sound a

544
00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:09.840
little controversial for show, but it's
like, I don't know, but it's

545
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:14.639
the fear of the takeover. Nobody
wants to make you gay, nobody wants

546
00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:17.679
women don't want to run everything.
People of color don't want to like take

547
00:38:17.719 --> 00:38:23.880
every position. People just want to
be treated with dignity, respect, equality,

548
00:38:23.960 --> 00:38:30.000
equal opportunity, fairness. It's so
basic. It's just it's really basic.

549
00:38:30.039 --> 00:38:36.920
But we are up against again changing
these norms and all that baggage.

550
00:38:36.920 --> 00:38:40.480
So people fear changed, you know, they do. And so this is

551
00:38:40.639 --> 00:38:45.239
kind of something to I think lean
into a little bit here. For the

552
00:38:45.639 --> 00:38:47.880
male population. You make a really
bold promise at the end of your book

553
00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:51.760
to men, and it's something along
these lines, and I'll ask it away

554
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:53.960
into this, but you say something
like accepting the invitation, you will be

555
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:58.840
welcomed appreciated, enriched, and co
create a quantum leap forward which will impact

556
00:38:58.920 --> 00:39:01.519
generations to come and be a sea
change. That sounds pretty darn good to

557
00:39:01.559 --> 00:39:06.599
me. Pretty bold, right,
that's pretty bold. So it's like,

558
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:10.119
how do you know can you prove
that? How do you know? No,

559
00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:14.159
that's bold. Yeah, that's a
bold thing. And I believe every

560
00:39:14.159 --> 00:39:15.519
word of it. At least I
believe every word of that. That's I

561
00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:19.760
too. I absolutely believe that.
Yeah, I absolutely believe that. And

562
00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:22.880
I think it's good though to see, Yeah, what did that look like?

563
00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:27.239
And because maybe that isn't readily apparent
or you know, it's not that's

564
00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:30.480
also part of the conversation we could
be having about gender equity, really not

565
00:39:30.599 --> 00:39:36.400
having in full this that part of
the conversation, like what does that sea

566
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:39.400
change look like? And I said
that also too, because most men don't

567
00:39:39.480 --> 00:39:44.760
know that they're going to be welcome
with this, like and most men in

568
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:47.119
the hidden demographic, well, how
would they know? You know, how

569
00:39:47.159 --> 00:39:52.000
would we know? How would we
know? This is new territory? And

570
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:54.079
actually, I'm glad you brought that
up too, because that brings to mind

571
00:39:54.119 --> 00:40:00.880
I wanted to say that the central
question that this the core of this work

572
00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:05.159
that my partner in Fierce Women,
Christina, I'll done my co founder with

573
00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:07.239
Fierce Women and bring you strength.
This is what we're doing together, Christina

574
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:13.280
and I is this question, and
it was it came about very organically,

575
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:16.679
and it was I was talking to
all these women across the country and asking

576
00:40:16.719 --> 00:40:21.280
them and doing sort of a social
experiment about leadership and how many have men

577
00:40:21.360 --> 00:40:23.880
ever asked you the question will you
lead me? Have they ever sought out

578
00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:27.320
your leadership? And most said,
oh my god, me even know?

579
00:40:27.559 --> 00:40:30.920
Of course not or something well I
mentored a guy once in my law firm,

580
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:35.039
or you know. But so was
this thing of of will you lead

581
00:40:35.079 --> 00:40:37.519
me? Let me what's it like
to ask a woman to lead you as

582
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:39.360
a man's How does that? What
does that? So then we did that's

583
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:44.320
a little bit. Some videos about
that explored that, and then the next

584
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:47.480
question became, well, let me
ask you this, and again it's very

585
00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:51.199
organic. Ho it happened and unfolded. That's wanted to share it. But

586
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:53.880
I said, let me ask you
this. If you went into your office

587
00:40:53.920 --> 00:41:00.320
tomorrow and not just one, but
a number of men, male colleagues approached

588
00:41:00.320 --> 00:41:02.639
you and said, you know,
I really want to learn about your leadership

589
00:41:02.760 --> 00:41:07.920
style. I'd like to learn about
your leadership style. And I don't want

590
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:12.239
to be just another team member here, but you know, I would really

591
00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:16.440
like to powerfully and actively support your
leadership vision. Could you tell me what

592
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:22.559
your leadership vision is? And could
you tell me how I could powerfully support

593
00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:28.000
that vision? And so many women
only said to me, oh my goodness,

594
00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:30.400
I can't imagine one guy saying that
to me, let alone a bunch.

595
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:34.360
And then I said, well,
you know, I said, yeah,

596
00:41:34.360 --> 00:41:37.119
it sounds a little probable, right, But let me ask you this,

597
00:41:37.719 --> 00:41:40.760
if you felt that they did not
have a hidden agenda and that they

598
00:41:40.760 --> 00:41:45.000
were sincere. If you felt that, would you welcome that question? Is

599
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.920
that a question you would welcome from
your male colleagues, whether it be CEO

600
00:41:50.119 --> 00:41:52.320
or somebody VP, a colleague up
or down? Would you welcome that?

601
00:41:52.639 --> 00:41:58.599
And almost to a one, the
response to unbelievably emphatic, was like,

602
00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:00.880
are you kidding me? It'd be
unbelievable, that would be a ce change,

603
00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:04.880
that would be incredible, that would
change everything. Are you kidding me?

604
00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:09.920
So here's the kicker, though.
The kicker is the men don't even

605
00:42:09.920 --> 00:42:14.519
know that they're allowed to ask that
question, how can I powerfully support your

606
00:42:14.599 --> 00:42:17.519
leadership vision? Men, they don't
even know they're allowed to ask that question.

607
00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:22.519
And furthermore, they don't even have
the roadmap, they don't even have

608
00:42:22.519 --> 00:42:27.239
the framework. And back to the
lexicon, they don't even have a language

609
00:42:27.559 --> 00:42:30.559
like who's doing that right now?
Who's out there saying how can I powerfully

610
00:42:30.559 --> 00:42:35.199
suport your leadership vision? And getting
a real answer. And again, this

611
00:42:35.239 --> 00:42:42.599
isn't fluff. This is like a
real substantive question that has an answer so

612
00:42:42.639 --> 00:42:45.559
that the and again it can be
topped down. It can be the CEO

613
00:42:45.639 --> 00:42:47.519
if he's a man, saying to
the VP, how can I as CEO,

614
00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:50.800
as a man, as a co
worker, colleague, how can I

615
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:52.800
powerfully spport your leadership vision in your
department, in this hospital, in this

616
00:42:52.880 --> 00:42:58.079
law firm, in this wherever.
And she can say, well, actually,

617
00:42:58.119 --> 00:43:00.280
I've been trying for the last six
months to do X, Y and

618
00:43:00.360 --> 00:43:02.639
Z in the department and so on
and so forth. Here's how you could

619
00:43:02.679 --> 00:43:07.719
exert your powerful as a CEO and
strength. Here's how you can powerfully support

620
00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:13.039
my leadership vision for the next twelve
months. Here's exactly how. And then

621
00:43:13.440 --> 00:43:19.159
that's the imbedible part. And so
these this is the conversation we could be

622
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:24.199
having around this gender equity and is
change. That's that's the part I'm passionate

623
00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:28.360
about. But but to finish,
to get back again to what's the big

624
00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:36.039
promise, Like, here's the thing. It's it's it's liberation. It's it's

625
00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:42.679
a liberation for women. It's a
liberation for men because when when we shed

626
00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:45.559
all that stuff, and I'm not
just talking about the toxic masculinity, because

627
00:43:45.559 --> 00:43:49.519
there's there's a lot of great work
being done out there now by men who

628
00:43:49.559 --> 00:43:52.559
are talking about how much this harmed
them, you know, having so hard

629
00:43:52.639 --> 00:43:58.599
and tough all the time and just
like crippled emotionally and you know, but

630
00:43:58.599 --> 00:44:02.440
but even not those extremes, but
even on the more subtle levels, you

631
00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:09.280
know, it's very freeing. It's
very freeing as a man. When I

632
00:44:09.360 --> 00:44:13.480
hit the point where I felt I
let go of all that stuff personally and

633
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:15.400
shed it. And I still struggle
with every day about like norms about you

634
00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:17.440
know, being a dude, being
a guy, whatever. It's like an

635
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:21.960
ongoing thing. But I'm comfortable in
my own skin. But when I shed

636
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:25.840
that, it was a very freeing
experience. When I got to the point

637
00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:30.840
where I could say, as a
grown man, I'm comfortable with my I'm

638
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:36.159
secure in my manhood, I'm secure
in my masculinity. That's a very powerful

639
00:44:36.199 --> 00:44:39.760
feeling because that means that I can
go out and support a woman doing anything

640
00:44:40.480 --> 00:44:44.440
it's powerful, and not be threatened
by her power and say, yeah,

641
00:44:44.519 --> 00:44:49.719
let's do this. How's good to
me? Yeah, we're almost out of

642
00:44:49.800 --> 00:44:52.000
time here, JG and I want
I'm just two more questions I've been get

643
00:44:52.039 --> 00:44:57.800
him in share with us. What
is your vision of the world when it

644
00:44:57.880 --> 00:45:00.480
works well and when people are a
pre she had enriched and co creating.

645
00:45:00.480 --> 00:45:06.320
What does that look like? Yeah, it's it's a It's a really powerful

646
00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:10.639
vision because when you're less free,
when when when you're when you're a man

647
00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:15.280
who has to stay in those constraints
of well, I got to do this,

648
00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:16.159
I have to do this, and
I have to be tough. I

649
00:45:16.159 --> 00:45:21.639
got to be hard. I can't
do that. It's everybody loses, you

650
00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:23.960
know, It's it's it's very constrained, you know. So, so the

651
00:45:24.039 --> 00:45:30.599
vision of having that freedom and that
fluidity to be able to say I can

652
00:45:30.639 --> 00:45:34.519
do what I want as a man
or as a woman, as far as

653
00:45:34.679 --> 00:45:37.000
what I like, who I like, what I like to do, how

654
00:45:37.039 --> 00:45:43.079
I like to express myself. It's
a much more liberated thing. But but

655
00:45:43.119 --> 00:45:50.559
then, obviously, you know,
for the women and the girls who are

656
00:45:50.599 --> 00:45:54.719
dealing with this every single day,
and tiny ways and powerful ways and big

657
00:45:54.760 --> 00:45:59.320
ways, you know, from the
whole spectrum of harassment all the way up

658
00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:04.639
to you know, it has to
come from the top down. So so

659
00:46:04.679 --> 00:46:07.440
another words, when we do that
top down culture change and all these organizations

660
00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:13.119
and governments and society at large,
it's going to be a huge win because

661
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:20.920
you know that that basic stuff around, you know, representation of people in

662
00:46:21.039 --> 00:46:25.000
office, decision makers, leader like, all of that stuff. And frankly,

663
00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:30.920
it's been so you know, out
of balance anyway in terms of hypermasculine

664
00:46:30.920 --> 00:46:34.800
aggressive stuff. We need women's leadership
right now. In one of the women

665
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:37.159
I supposed to she told me when
I said to her, I said,

666
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:38.639
I love strong women. She says, that's great, JG. But we

667
00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:44.119
don't need your love. We need
you to trust our leadership. You great,

668
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:47.599
Isn't that great? Now? That's
great? And that was when I

669
00:46:47.599 --> 00:46:51.440
had to take my own advice,
which is my advice around this stuff is

670
00:46:51.639 --> 00:46:53.840
two things. We have to give
ourselves permission when we're doing social change around

671
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:59.639
race, around gender orientation, we
have to give ourselves permission to Number one,

672
00:47:00.840 --> 00:47:02.119
not know, to not know.
I don't know how to do this,

673
00:47:02.400 --> 00:47:05.559
Like, what's the next step.
What am I supposed to say?

674
00:47:05.559 --> 00:47:07.400
Well? Am I not? Like? I don't know, So permission to

675
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:09.800
not know as long as you're being
respectful. And the second is permission to

676
00:47:09.840 --> 00:47:15.519
be awkward. Give ourselves permission to
be awkward. And so that was my

677
00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:17.199
awkward moment, one of many,
many, many awkward moments. I'm like,

678
00:47:17.239 --> 00:47:20.159
I love strong women. She said, well, yeah, that's great,

679
00:47:20.159 --> 00:47:21.960
but you know what, we don't
need you to love us. We're

680
00:47:21.960 --> 00:47:24.800
fine. We need you to trust
us and trust our leadership. So and

681
00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:29.199
I was like wow. And at
first I was like whoa wait, Oh

682
00:47:29.239 --> 00:47:30.639
no, no, I'm in trouble. Yeah, but but it was like

683
00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:35.320
permission to be awkward. I was
like, cool, Oh yeah, that's

684
00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:37.440
cool. Yeah, I'm gonna start
saying that. I'm gonna give you a

685
00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:38.880
crazy for it. She told me
to say. So it was like,

686
00:47:42.199 --> 00:47:45.000
you know, so trust women's leadership. So I think a lot of women

687
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:49.159
too, I've spoken to it says, yeah, they asked us to lead,

688
00:47:49.239 --> 00:47:51.320
and then they don't trust the leadership. So I said, you know,

689
00:47:51.320 --> 00:47:55.079
trust the leadership. So yeah,
okay, beautiful way to finish.

690
00:47:55.239 --> 00:47:59.920
Great way to finish. Trust the
leadership, JG. I want to think

691
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.559
than so much for trust women's leaders. Yeah. Leaders, I want to

692
00:48:04.599 --> 00:48:07.920
thank you for the work that you're
doing and for the title way that you're

693
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:09.239
causing, and for being a guest
on the show today. Thank you very

694
00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:14.320
much, Elite. Thank you so
much for having me on the show and

695
00:48:14.599 --> 00:48:17.719
giving me an opportunity to share this
work that I and Christina we're so passionate

696
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:22.920
about. And yeah, I'm really
grateful to you for the work that you're

697
00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:27.239
doing and for giving me this opportunity. Sincerely, I'm very excited, so

698
00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:30.920
big, big thank you again for
having me on. Thank you so much.

699
00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:34.880
You're so welcome. We'll be together
in this movement and listeners. If

700
00:48:35.880 --> 00:48:37.000
you want to learn more about j. G. Bocella and the work he

701
00:48:37.239 --> 00:48:43.159
and his partner are doing, visit
Bring your Strength dot com again Bring your

702
00:48:43.239 --> 00:48:46.280
strength dot com and join the movement. Next week, we'll be on the

703
00:48:46.320 --> 00:48:50.840
air with author Dan Schaubel talking about
his latest book, Back to Human,

704
00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:53.360
how great leaders create connection in the
age of isolation. See you there.

705
00:48:53.400 --> 00:48:57.079
Remember that works at least one third
of our life. So let's work on

706
00:48:57.159 --> 00:49:02.840
purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this
week's program. Be sure to tune in

707
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:07.760
to Working on Purpose, featuring your
host Alis Cortes, each week on the

708
00:49:07.880 --> 00:49:14.440
Voice America Empowerment Channel. This week, find your life's purpose at work.