Reverse Engineer Your Life: The Path to Legacy

There are some people that make their work just another thing they have to do, and there are those that make their work something that they want to do. Welcome to Working on Purpose with your host Elise Cortez. In our program, we provide guidance and inspiration from those people who have found deeper meaning and personal connection to their work life. It's beyond nine to five. It's working on Purpose. Now Here is your host, Elise Cortez. Welcome back to Working on Purpose show. Thanks for tuning in again this week. I'm your host, Elise Cortez, John New live from Dallas, Texas, which is home based for me. If you've been tuning in for a while, then you know this program is all but help people create more meaningful and purposeful lives and equipping leaders in tyranizations to cultivate meaning and purpose that elicits passion inspired contribution, innovation, and persevering performance. I talk with my guest to draw on their expertise and share my own experience consulting, speaking and developed workforces across the globe. Every week. In these conversations, I hope you walk away with something you can meetly put to use in your life. And if I can do anything to help you along your journey. Go to my website at least courtest dot com and use the contact me future to message me and let's open a dialogue and explore what's going on for you and see how I might be able to help. Whether you want to join a distribution list to stay informed of these radio show topics. You want to see about joining a cash fire, online inspiration, accountability or mastermind community to nurture your own purpose or bring it out to the world. You want to look into a purpose driven leadership program for yourself or your team, which are offered on site or via webcast. You're interested in the Women on Purpose Thought Leadership Summit in Portland in September, or you'd like me to speak for your company or conference at any rate, I'm glad we're connected. Thanks for listening. Now onto this week's program with us today is Rabbi Daniel Cohen, who is a popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker. He has served in the rabbinate for over twenty years, sharing hundreds of life affirming moments from birth to death. He's the author of What Will They Say About You When You're Gone? Creating a Lie for legacy. We'll be talking about this wonderful book today in the program. Rabbi Cohen, welcome to Working on Purpose. Thank you very much for having me. I appreciate it. It is so great to be connected to you again, thanks to your publicist who found me. And what a perfect conversation you and I can have. I read your book from cover to cover and thoroughly enjoyed it, and you're welcome and in your book, Rabbi, I feel like I really did come to know you as a very incredibly warm person, grateful for your life and your relationships and just loving being in complete service to others. And so it's great to connect with you and have you on the program. Thank you. Look forward to the opportunity. And Joanne's a good woman, so I also feel blessed that she connected us. Yeah, me too, Thank you, Joanne. So let's start first, since, as we were talking about before we got on the air, I'm writing my own book. I know what an effort that is. And your book has a very specific message in it. I think I know the answer, but just in case, what inspired you to write it? I would say it's two things. Primarily my mom, As I wrote in the book passed away from a brain aneurysm when she was a forty four years old, and my life was truly turned upside down in that moment, really appreciating the fact that life can change in an instant. And I would say it wasn't only that moment alone, but my parents, my father he should live me well, always gave me a sense of the value of life, living with a sense of gratitude and a higher purpose. And then when I got to the same age as my mother was, I always knew that she was young. I began to look at life in a much deeper way and really ask myself, am I really leading the kind of life that I should be leading? Am I'm making the most of the days that I've been blessed with? So that really was, in many ways the catalyst for the book, and the other piece was really in my professional life as a rabbi, I oftentimes confront people that, in moments of crisis, get very serious. They think of out what's important, Someone's going to a hospital, and they'll say, Rabbi, pray for me, and then I won't hear from them again. And the nature of life is that in these moments of Christ as we get serious. But I really thought about how do we stay focused on what is truly important on a day to day basis, and how do we really try to transform time which passes into something which is truly eternal. For I could hang onto that all day long. Rabbi, that's so beautiful. I really want to presence this for our listeners. One, the fact that you grew up in a household were topics like purpose we're actually talked about. That's incredible and amazing. I didn't had an amazing upbringing, but I didn't have that that came from me later in life. So I just really want to celebrate that first. And then the second thing is I really want to get us into that space talking about this acute awareness of the fragility of life and that there's the gift of every day. You do that so beautifully in your book, Rabbi, But when I go out and speak, I talk about, you know, what will you do with your one precious life? And you know there's let's not work on some day kind of a concept. Ye, go ahead, No, I would say that. You know, I've seen so many times and I think it just really speaks to the essence of who I am and just more sensitive to the idea is nobody inside of them and you get them in a quiet room doesn't really want to make more out of their life, doesn't want to build strong relationship, doesn't want to lead a more grateful life. And I see my role primarily is to help myself and help others turn off the outside noise. I always tell people stop watching so much TV except for or radio except for your show. Of course I have to say that, thank you a problem, But the point is there's a lot inside of us that we're not listening to. And I'm there to really try to help people and I'm sure you do too, just feel what's already inside of them. And the book really is intended to help people create that sacred space to really think about what kind of life do we aspire to? You know, what is the kind of life that we want to lead? Not when you're sitting, god forbid, in a hospital bed or you're walking out of a funeral, but who's listening to the show. We're thinking right now, what are the words that I want to be remembered by? And then really help people on a journey so that they keep that front and center on a daily basis. And one of the things that you said early in your book that really resonated with me, and people say something similar to me, But I think here's a much, much, much heightened level. But it's this notion that you live every day with a heightened sense of urgency to realize your divine potential and to do your utmost every day, to harness all over energy and talents helping others do the same for themselves. That urgency piece is what I'm interested in talking about if we can, Rabbi, can you help our listeners understand why is that urgency there for you and why is it important for you? Well? Say, you know Kargard wrote many years ago he said boredom is the root of all evil. And the truth is I really think about and this is what my faith teaches me that every day and literally every moment, God is infusing me with new life and new purpose and I never should lead life that I'm entitled to anything. The sun may not come up tomorrow, And if the sun does come up tomorrow, that's a new way that God is smiling on me and smiling all of us, and say, make today a great day. You know, there's a blessing thing that I make. And I think about this a lot. I had a kidney stone a number of years ago and it was really painful. And after that kidney stone, I recited a blessing that we have in the Jewish faith with a lot of concentration. There's a blessing we say after you leave the bathroom. May sound a little bit odd to people that I thank God for what is open is open, and what is closed is closed, and everything is working properly. It is I shouldn't have to wait and nobody for kidneys stone to say, wow, everything is functioning well. The truth is is that the smallest of things can really create the greatest of havoc. And I think sometimes we miss the beauty and the gift. Every breath that we take is really a new infusion of life. And when we lead our life that way, when somebody, for example, God forbid, is drowning, you can't breathe, and all of a sudden you lift your head up up over the water, you feel so alive. So we can capture that moment, our lives will be so much more zoned in. We'll not talk through people will talk with people will pay attention to the world around us, we'll smell the role around us, and we will really realize that too often we walk sightless among miracles, and beauty is all around us and inside of us. No, I love that, Rabbi. I'm so with you. Yes, every moment, let's just drink it in and just be there in it. And you know, as you know better than most of us, people can sense that, right They know when they see somebody who's really in the moment and enjoying life to its fullest, just right there, they can It's visceral. Yeah, I know, one hundred percent, and I think it becomes actually contagious too, And maybe that's part of you know, when I think about my role models. You know, my mom of blessed memory. Whenever you would ask her how she was doing, first thing, she would say, because I'm the oldest of six, she would say hello Grand Central station because it was so crazy. But people would ask her like, how are you doing, And despite what was going on in her life, she would always respond, thank God, fantastic. She had a wonderful zest for life. And my father, really, he tells me I talked to him. He said, live life with healthy uncertainty. Healthy uncertainty because again, you don't want to live in a life where you're constantly feeling anxious. At the same time, you don't want to take anything for granted. And when you see people leaving that life, you also begin to see life differently too. M and I completely embrace everything that you said there, So next if we can, I'm really really very intrigued the beautiful life that you live as a rabbi. Twenty years in the rabbit, that's just what a beautiful and enriched life, and the experiences that you must have had over these years have got to be just so enriching. So I'd love it if you could, Rabbi, let us into your world a little bit. What's it like for you to be a rabbi and how did you get into it? Into that that kind of work. Well, when I first opened up my eyes as a baby, my first words are I want to be a rabbi. I've got that. Yeah, it's like you said, you want to be a radio show house. Right away, I would say that part of it before I tell you kind of what my life is like a little bit, But I would say it goes back to what I share before that I always not at all always, but as I grew up, I really did have a strong sense that life had a purpose. I had a calling. My father is a rabbi too, not a rabbi in the pulpit, but he was involved in education, but he really tried, and my mom as well, to create an inclusive home, a warm home. Felt a strong sense of responsibility to the Jewish people and to humanity. They enjoyed what they were doing, and I also felt in my life that I was a partner with them. I never felt that as a kid, like let's say we had guests over. It wasn't like I wasn't doing anything. My mom would say, can you open the door and walk on the man? Can you set the table? Can you help? So I literally felt like I was part of this mission and I felt very motivated by that. And it wasn't necessarily that that was what maybe become the rabbi, but I would say that was kind of the foundation of my life. And then as I got into college, I discovered, through really just doing some volunteer work, that I really enjoyed studying us, studying the faith, and I also enjoyed teaching people and working with people in this way, and I found it extremely meaningful. My grandmother, like many, wanted me first to become a doctor, so I majored actually in premed and English, and I hit organic chemistry and realized my passion was not for that. Then my grandmother said to me, well, if you can't be a doctor, she's very serious, you should become a lawyer. So so she set me up working at a labor law firm. My two uncles are lawyers, so I worked at a labor law firm. And this is while I was studying to become a rabbi, and I just did not feel the same fulfillment as I did doing rabbinical work. And then I really discovered that was what my calling was. And it's a lot of work, but for me, I really see it as a wonderful service. I get inspired by being there to pastor people, to teach people, to get them excited about God, about learning. I also do a lot of I would say social action, inner faith work, really try to build bridges across the faiths and make people understand. Myself included that you can see the face of God in any other human being, and sometimes we just need to build some windows in those walls and create more bridges. So you know, I pray to God every day for strength to do what I do, and I feel renewed in the mission. M Rabbi, that was a beautiful rendition. Thank you for sharing that. I really respect and admire the work that you do, and I especially appreciate that you've been called to do that. When my research that I did some years ago around meaning and work and identity, I did, you know, I view priests and a few rabbis, and one rabbi said, you know, he wasn't actually called to the work per se. He fell into it later in life. But he goes, I got the best job in the world. Yeah, I can relate. I know what you mean. I mean I look at what other people do and I said, how can you do that? But you know, that's the beauty of it. We all hopefully find the right place where we can answer God's call with our talents that God has given us. And I believe, Rabbi that when we do. Because right now Karen Hoyos, who's the transformation specialist, she says that to her knowledge and research, only one percent of the global populations fully living their purpose and that when we get to three percent, we get to a level of human consciousness where peace is actually possible. That sounds pretty good to me. Her name is It's pretty darn cool Karen Hoyas h O y o s. She was on my show just a couple of weeks ago. But that is an idea that certainly I mean, I'm you know, I know that's your space and I'm I'm in for working on that. Yeah, okay, So I want to as you as somebody that and I just have met you except for your book. I feel like I do know you, but you certainly seem to me, Rabbi, as somebody who is an example of someone living a well lived life that continues, and you're working from your purpose. You're out helping people in changing lives. And I know, as we talked about this is this some people will give in to, you know, just being not going for their potential and their purpose. But you do, and you really have got this idea of reverse engineering our lives through seven principles to really help us live the life that we want. And I think it's compelling. Your book is easy to read, it all hangs together well. But for our listeners who haven't yet read your book, what do you mean by reverse engineer our lives? Really? The term was something that term is specifically not related to life, was something that a friend of mine who's in business said when I described to what I'm trying to do, which is really take a goal, which is kind of what kind of life do you aspire to? And that's really where the first made exercise in the book is, I'll ask people questions such as, what are the five words that you want to be remembered by? Or if you have twenty four hours to live, what would you do and why and help people crystallize really the essence of what is most meaningful in their life. But then reverse engineer means, now, let me deconstruct the steps that I need to take to get to that place. So it's really this notion of starting with the end in mind. So reverse engineer a business term is you know, I know where I want to go, what the goal is, but I'm not sure how I get there. So I take the goal and then I deconstruct and say, what are the elements that would necessitate me doing to get to that place. So reverse engineer your life means if you want to lead a life where your primary values are make people smile. Let's take that he was somebody that made people smile. You know what kind of it is a great way to be remembered. Well, reverse engineering means number one, I have to be present in every relationship. I have to make sure that I'm nurturing my own sense of gratitude on a daily basis. I to make sure that I'm somebody people can trust. And all those steps then become the way to be the kind of person that makes people smile. Wow, beautiful and with that hold your thought. Well, let's grab our first break. Rabbi goes by so fast. Okay, I'm your host, Elie Cortez. We've been on the air with Rabbi Daniel Cohen, who was a popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker. He has served in the rabbinate for over twenty years during hundreds of life affirming moments from birth to death. He's the author of What Will They Say About You When You're Gone? Creating a life of Legacy. He joins her today from Stamford, Connecticut. We've been talking a bit about some of what caused him to write the book and what he stands for and what he's out to help people do in their lives. Stay with us, We'll be right back. Elice Cortez is a speaker and engagement and development catalyst. She designs and delivers professional development, leadership and engagement workshops and can bring her expertise to your organization. She will help ignite meaningful development within your workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance and retention. To learn more or to invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her at www dot Elise Cortez dot com. She would welcome the opportunity to help get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with Elise Cortez. To reach our program today, send an email to Elise ali Se at Elise Cortez dot com. Now back to working on purpose. Thanks for steeing with us, and welcome back to working on purpose. If you're just joining us. My yes is Rabbi Daniel Cohen, who's a popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker. He's the author of What Will They Say About You When You're Gone? Creating a Life of Legacy. I'm your host. Elise Cortez Okay, so, Rabbi, the beginning, they're just learning a bit about your background and such's just so great to know that you've really, from an early age understood purpose and meaning and it just really made that the centerpiece of your life. I just so applaud that and appreciate that. And now we add in the element of legacy, which I appreciate the language that you use around that. And I love how you say in your book that we are all born with a capacity to leave a mark on the world, to enrich our relationships and lead a life of inspiration. And I wholeheartly agree with that, of course. And then you go on to say that throughout the history of humanity, humans have striven to become immortal, that we strive to outlast our mortality and defeat death. And this isn't because we know we can physically transcend the limits of time, but because programmed into our DNA is a desire to be remembered, to lead a life of significance. We all want to know that we have made some ever lasting contribution to this world. Oh. I love that also creating moments, I just that's so I had to read it for our listeners. Right, you get a little taste of the book listeners. So creating moments is one way to an sure that we do that. So that's one of your your principles. Will you say a bit more for us about that sure? I mean, there's really two elements to this. One is I don't know if you're referring to the living inspired or creating memories. Creating memories, yes, yes, so creating memories. For me, I think a lot about what are the experiences in our life that have influenced the kind of people that we are. You know, many years ago one of my mentors said to me, and he ended on his desk. I was a young budding rabbinical student, and he said on the desk, people don't don't care how much you know. They want to know how much you care. And the question becomes, oftentimes in our relationships, are we forging the experiences in our lives with those that we care about that really carries them forward and creates enduring memories? And when I think about my own life, you know, he asked why I became a rabbi. I don't remember a lot necessarily what my parents told me, but I do remember moments of how they made me feel. Of walking with my parents to a rally to help support people, of coming into a house on a holiday and smelling and seeing and just feeling this excitement and joy and knowing that there was love there. And I think oftentimes we don't appreciate the power of creating a memory. You know. One story that I think about a lot is I do a lot of funerals, which is not always easy, but I do find great fulfilment and giving comfort to people, where oftentimes will tell children that I'd like them to speak at their parents' funerals because they really know a lot about their parents. And I believe the soul of the one who is being eulogized literally is there. They hear what is being said, and it's important for those who are survivors to give thanks to that individual. So this woman said to me, I really didn't a great relationship with my mom. I don't think I want to speak, So I said, okay. But then when we came to the funeral. It was a small grave side funeral, maybe about six people, and the woman said to me, Rabbi, I have two memories that I want to share. She was like in her fifties, she said, I'll never forget when I was eight years old, it was snowing outside and I was fast asleep, and my mother came up to my room and woke me up and said, honey, it's snowing outside, get dressed, let's go outside and play. And here was a memory that she shared over fifty years with her mother, of spontaneous love that for her symbolized somehow this relationship that you want to remember remember with her mother. And you know, I think I think about that a lot. Like when I walk in the door and I said to myself, I can go to my computer, I can do my phone, and I can just sit at the table and then do my thing. Or I can look my child in the eye, or look somebody that I love in the eye and say let's go take a walk together. And I do that. Actually, I recommend for people you want to create memories, take walks. You put your phone inside, and then you his talk and those are sometimes the most meaningful moments that you can create. And then you will be leading a life of legacy because long after you're physically gone, even if you're not there geographically, they're going to know that you're with them because you were with them, and those memories continue to be with them. M Ah. You wrote that story in your book, and I absolutely love that story. And I will add in and contribute that I have had the experience, Rabbi. Both of my parents died this year in January, and I aes thank you. I wrote the obits for both of them, and waiting with my siblings, I delivered both eulogies. It was really quite an experience, and I'm grateful that I got the experience to be part of all that and to get to participate in the love well that I did. It did help me in their passing to be part of it on that level. Wow. Yeah, so I get what I think. I have some inkling of an idea of what you're saying there about how and I did feel their souls present when I was eulogizing them. I did feel that they heard me and acknowledged me. So it was a beautiful experience. Yeah. How, by the way, if you don't mind, I mean when you described your mother and your father, were some of the character traits that live within you. Yeah, my father, who followed my mother out twenty eight days after her passing. He was just he was so hopelessly generous and so incredibly giving. There wasn't anybody in town who didn't vigorously nod their head who was at this service to that. And we called him the walking marshmallow. He couldn't he was so soft, He couldn't say no to anybody, which we, of course found so endearing. He was just he had a he had a heart of gold. He was kind, and he you know, he was a businessman, and he really joyed making money because it was a way for him to do things in the world for other people. So that was what I said about, among many other things about my father and my mother. I just talked about her indomitable, magnificent spirit. I mean, she really really came from a hard life, and she really made something of herself. And she's just a great testament to what someone can do when they really work at it and they are they're determined to make something of themselves, and she did. And so that's one of the one of the many things I said about her. I did it. Actually I found myself going around a P. Words began with the word P. So I had this string of seventeen things that began with p Rabbi and that's how I described her. Wow, I didn't know them, but I'm getting to know you, so I'm sure there must have been really wonderful people. Well, thank you, Rabbi so well. So back to our conversation here alant derail here for our listeners. But going back to the word legacy, what I find interesting. I love that word. It means a lot to me, It calls a lot, and I I found is when I'm out speaking to audiences, many members of the audience get really kind of afraid of that word. It feels too lofty for them. They're afraid of what if I can't to live a legacy that's too much to ask of me or whatever. And so first we be we better just start with the basic what do you mean by a legacy? And why is it important to live a life in service of creating one? So I think that you know, and I think your point is well taken, because the word legacy is associated with, you know, something oftentimes monumental, like oh my gosh, have I led that life of legacy? But I believe, and I try to share this in the book, that you may not be able to change the world. But if you can change the world of one person, you've created a legacy because for that one person, it makes all the difference in the world. And I think we create legacy every day. Legacy really means impact, lifting somebody up, making a difference in somebody's life. And again, you're familiar with the story that I share, but I think about this a lot. About the woman who said to me one of her most inspiring moments was when she was at a parking lot. She saw a man getting out of his car with orthopedic shoes who needed his shoes tied, and over to him and she asked him she could help him tie his shoes, and as she bent down to tie his shoes, she started to cry, and she said afterwards it was one of the most inspiring moments in her life. Now, she never saw that person again, but in that moment, she was the individual who that person needed most. And that's creating impact. I mean, I think about it also. You know, you return a phone call somebody needs a little bit of help. You know somebody's having a down day and you don't know what's going on in their heart, so you're there for them. You reach out out for them, and you create what I would say, a wave of optimism in their life, a wave of hope, and they're going to see somebody else and that leads to something else. And we're not responsible for all the things that happened afterwards. But if in that moment you've become a little less self censored and a little more other centered, it's called where I talk about, is the Elijah moment. You really create legacy. We can do it in the supermarket, we can do wherever we interact with somebody else. And to me, that's what legacy is about. And yeah, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, I love how you've you've then stitched together legacy in the Elijah moment, because I wanted to talk about that next. And I also appreciate how you gave us so much access to the word legacy and really making it really equivalent to impact that that I think that opens something for people. So that was great and I did really enjoy your concept of the Elijah moment. So for our listeners, would you say a little bit more about that? And then I want to see if I can comment over about a way that I do something in life and see if it fits sure, sure, so I call it the Elijah moment. Elijah was a prophet, but one who is seen as an individual who steps into people's lives kind of when they need it most. And it's really based on two ideas. One is I call the standing room only phenomena at a funeral, where the somebody is at a funeral and if you get ask the decease to that individual as they would have no idea or family member they would also have no idea, but they're there because of one moment in time that individual made a difference in that person's life. And let's called the Elijah moment. Based on the story about an individual that goes to a mystic and says, I want to see Elijah the prophet, and the mystic says, you want to see Elijah. Go to a widow in the forest, bring her food for the weekend, and you'll see Elijah. He goes deep into the forest. He's there Friday night, Saturday, no Elijah. Sunday morning comes, he hasn't seen Elijah, and he goes back to the mystic and the mystic says, go back the next weekend, bring food and I promise this week you'll see Elijah the prophet. So he goes deep into the forest. It's Friday afternoon, nooon. He's within earshot of the home, and he hears a young child crying out to the mother and saying, mommy, where are we going to get food from this weekend? And the mother turns to the child and says, just like Elijah came last week, alive is going to come again. And it's in that moment that he realizes that he is the Elijah that this woman is waiting for. And to discover your Elijah moment means And this is a beautiful quote from Mark Twain. He says, they're two most important days of your life, or the day when you're born and the day when you understand why. And I know that in life, everybody who's listening to this show, you might meet somebody one day and you interact and you don't know whether you're going to see that person again. But in that moment, maybe there's a reason. I don't believe that any encounter is random. There's some higher design why we connect and why we're in certain places at certain times, and we have to reveal the light in that moment and create some connection and if we do, we become that Elijah for that person, and we can truly make a difference in their lives. Okay, so Rabbi, you've done it. You've made me cry on air. Thanks very much. That was beautiful. It moved me to tears. I loved it when you said that I missed that part in your book that he was the Elijah, and that's so beautiful. Moved me to tears. It's great to be moved on that level. So what I was going to say is, for me, I think I practice the Elijah moment. I call it random acts of kindness. But when I'm out I do this every day when I go out looking for someone, whether it's a supermarket, the post office, or whatever, and I'm looking for someone that I can just acknowledge and say something kind and good too. And I oftentimes will pick a woman and I tell just to be able to tell that she's beautiful, because when I do that, she gets bigger in in my presence, and I see her walk away a little bit bigger, and invariably she's blown back and has a very gracious thank you, and and I get to walk away feeling that feeling of what you said connection and just having given something of myself. It's a passion of mine, so it's a giving of myself. Yeah, so that when I read your Elijah Moment piece, I was like, I think I kind of do it like this, but anyway, and I hope that some days, you know that somebody that really does make a difference for somebody. Maybe it's a difference between you know, them quitting their job or maybe attempting suicide or not. I mean, that's what I hope anyway. Yeah, so that's you know, and I would say, just to amplify it one more time, to make it even more practical, I would say, we have to ask ourselves, you know, both at the beginning of the day, and this is a key point, and at the end of the day, what have we done today to really try to make a difference in somebody's life. It could be a co worker, could be a sibling or friend, or an email. And no day should go by by without having not only not done it, but think about it. You know. This is any important message in the book in general, but in life is that I'm sure everybody here has a financial accounting. You know, you check your stocks, did they go up? Today, they go down today. You check yourr weight, did you go up today? Did you go down today? How long did you exercise? Everybody's got their fitbits. Well, we also have to do the same thing with our lives. We have to take what I would call a solo accounting or a legacy accounting, because if we only do it once a year, our New Years, then we're going to be missing so many opportunities. You wouldn't do that with your job, you wouldn't do that with your portfolio, you wouldn't do that with your health. So how much more so do we have to do that with the beautiful gift of life and purpose that God has given us. I will absolutely amen that. Thank you, Rabbi. Our last break, I'm Elise Cortez, your host. We were on the air with Rabbi Daniel Cohen, who was a popular motivator, mentor, an inspirational speaker. He has served in the rebnant for over twenty years, sharing hundreds of life affirming moments from birth to death. He's the author of What Will They Say About You When You're Gone? Creating a life of Legacy. He joined you today from Stanford, Connecticut. Stay with us We'll be right back. Elise Cortez is a speaker and engagement and development catalyst. She designs and delivers professional development, leadership and engagement workshops and can bring her expertise to your organization. She will help ignite meaningful development within your workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance and retention. To learn more or to invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her at www dot Elise Cortez dot com. She would welcome the opportunity to help get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with Elise Cortez. To reach our program today, send an email to Elise Alis at a east Cortez dot com. Now back to working on Purpose. Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to working on Purpose. If you're just tuning in, my guess is Rabbi Daniel Cohen, who is a popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker. He's the author of What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone? Creating a Life of Legacy. I'm your host, Elis Cortez, So Rabbi for this last segment, We're going to go through as quickly as we can there's a few questions I want to get out. Is in there a few things that I want to surface for our listeners. I got to say, You've got a story in your book that is so compelling I can't get it out of my mind. But the story is about a businessman who goes to his quote office every day for thirty minutes, locks the door, dons the shrouds, lies in his coffin, reads the final confession and prayers upon one's deathbed, and does so to ensure never to become arrogant and believe he is invincible. What a daily ritual? So I really tried to get present to that kind of a person such that a ritual would produce. And you say in your book that the most important principle in ensuring your long term growth is crafting the time and possessing the tenacity to seize meditative moments like that. So you know, turning off the outside road, it's kind of what you talked about before and turning on the inside world. So would you say more about this? This is so intriguing. It goes back again to the concept of knowing that really a lot of the answers that we're looking for for direction in life are not outside but understanding that they're inside us. And I believe that if we create, and that that's not always easy to do, you know, in the world in which we're living, because we're so connected, that we have to create time literally to disconnect, meditate, to be with ourselves, to take a walk to I would say, since our humility, you know, we're not the masters of the universe. We're really here to serve, to bring the light that God has given us and share it with the world. And there's no one strategy that I would say works for everybody, but I think it takes a commitment to that. I'm a big believe her in prayer because when I say the prayers every morning for me, that's why meditative experience, I actually do it three times a day. I recognize that I am here. Literally my life is on loan from God. I'm on borrowed time. And that awareness in and itself just creates a sense of urgency and appreciation for some people. I also try to write and journal. I mean this notion that you know, it's not about me, but it's about something higher. I can talk about it from here tomorrow. But unless each person takes their own sacred space to really reflect on that it's hard to do it, and the prayers or for this person, the lying in that bed or going on a mountaintop or taking a walk and looking at the beauty of the world. It really is about humility and sense of service and whatever you can do on a daily basis to create that mindset and then go out and get the world and help the world will help you stay in that zone. That's powerful. Rabbi, thank you. I think that's very, very powerful. And similarly along that line, that one was so compelling for me and really drove home the importance of taking time for meditative moments. The other piece that I found really interesting and really important for myself was your point about finding faith, something that I've been cultivating in my own life. But can you help our listeners understand what you mean by finding faith? Finding faith for me is you know less about do I believe in God or do I not believe in God? But it's more about finding faith that sometimes and we all are going to have moments when we are falling down, We have struggles, we have challenges, and finding faith is about moving past the questions of why me and why is this happening? And living in that state of darkness and saying what can I do to grow from this experience, to transcend this turmoil, and to turn this obstacle into an opportunity, Because the truth is, once something happens to us or that we are going through, we have a choice. We can either continue to lament the pain and the darkness, or we can choose life and every moment that we spend lamenting the past and not seizing the present moment to try to bring a little more light into our lives or to somebody else's lives as a moment that's lost. And finding faith is a belief that this goes back to this other belief that if I'm taking a breath of new life, that means there is a higher power that's saying, you know what I believe in you. You put one foot forward in front of the next, and I will renew you with strength you never felt it was possible. I will enable you to rise from this moment. And as the Book of Isaiah says, to run and not walk, and to never grow tired and weary. That's what I mean by finding faith that is so beautiful, it's really beautiful. Okay, So next I want to talk about this idea that you have here. And there's just so much to get from this living and Rabbi, I know, I'm like, I want to get as much out of you before you leave me. We're going to come show up to I'm coming. I'm coming to Connecticut. That's all there is. Lunch. Yeah. So I found your idea in the epilogue, the idea or the goal about having no eulogies at our funeral to be incredibly intriguing. So say a little bit more about why having no eulogies when we actually each finally passed could be such a powerful way to lower lives because I think at the end of the day, I mean again, there's a lot that we can learn from people's lives, and I think eulogies have to have their purpose. But the idea is is that you know, somebody once said, there's a story too where I once commented in a class that I was giving. I said, it was amazing or was it a funeral for a woman she died at the young age, and everybody said that she had such tremendous like faith in God to a t. And then somebody said to me, you know what, I think, I'm going to tell my kids what to say about me at the funeral, so they all say the same thing. I said, You've missed the point. It's not about telling them what to say. It's about leading a life which is so consistent, so authentic, so filled with kindness that everybody knows who you really are. So ultimately, the goal should be not what are they going to say about me? That's really just a trigger, but it should be lead a life where nobody really has to say at the funeral what you did and the kind of person that you are, because your inside was like your outside, and you lived your life with that tremendous sense of beauty inside and out that everybody really sensed and everybody felt inspired by. Just that makes I totally totally got present at that idea when I was reading your book. I love that I'm working on it. We got all are I'm working on it. Okay. So you talk also, of course, like I do, about living an inspired life, and I preach this everywhere I go in my programs when I'm speaking. But can you give her listeners a couple of tips to live an inspired life? Yeah? I would say that a couple of things. Keeping a gratitude journal is really important. Really, I advocate for that too. Yeah, yeah, I think that. You know, it's not enough just to say my daughter was the one who taught me about her doing it. It's not just enough to say at the end of the day, like I'm grateful, I'm alive, I'm grateful alive. But my daughter explained what she said. Every night before she goes to sleep, she writes something that she's grateful for, but she tries not to repeat herself, so that she forces herself to find new things to be grateful for. And then every day she was up to about a thousand of them, she reads fifty of them, and then she said, how can I not be grateful? So gratitude is definitely a key to living inspired. I think another element of living inspired is never underestimate the significance of any small, active kindness that you can do for somebody. And Frank has a great quote about that, you know where, don't wait, don't just you know say when I have time, all do this. If I had a phrase over my bed, my parents are very very wise. It wasn't a picture of a of an Atlanta Braves player or Falcons player, because I certainly was a fan. There was a statement from Ethics for our Fathers that says, if not now, then And the truth is is when you do that active kindness, when you go outside your comfort zone to help somebody, you'll feel uplifted, You'll feel inspired, not only the person who is the beneficiary of your active kindness. So to me, doing active kindness is another one. In other ways, inspired, I think is living with a sense of humility, you know, and really just the end understanding that you're here for higher purpose. Prayer is another way to stay inspired. So these are some of the things that I recommend a lot. Awesome. I'm with you on all fronts awesome. Okay, So as we wrap up here, Rabbi, I want to presences for our listeners. So when I'm out speaking, especially when I'm out speaking, I talk all the time with people who tell me that they just don't feel like they have the energy to really live with passion and purpose, which is really a big part of my message, and they just feel beaten down by everyday life. And of course I refer to a lot of these people as they're walking dead in many ways, and so I think your chapter on the seventh principle of discovering our renewable energy is really essential to creating the lives that we want. So and you say that whatever motivates a person to seize the day for impact, is this secret to renewable energy? We say a little bit more. Yeah, I think that everybody has something that they're passionate about. And that's the thing. Also, the same strategy that I use, or one may not be what you use. But I think that when somebody says, what do I love to do? And I ask this in my cargation, what do you love to do? And how can you take what you love and give a little bit back to somebody else in a positive way? And everybody can answer. Let's say you're a musician, you love to play great, well, maybe now let's help you find a place or you can play music at a senior citizen home, or for some kids. You love to draw, well, let's find a way for you to use those craft skills to help other people, whatever they might be. You like to write, you like to whatever it is, find the passion because every day there's a fire burning inside and everybody there is something inside every human being that says, you know what, I want to be alive. I want to make a difference in this world. And when you feed that flame with the fuel of kindness, of godliness, of giving to somebody else, you will be inspired. You will be able to get out of the morass I believe that you feel, and to lift yourself up. As a mystic was said many years ago, my job in life is not to resurrect the dead. My job in life is to resurrect the living. And that's really what this, uh, this book is all about. And if I can be supportive of anybody, certainly welcome to try to help. Oh raby, that's beautiful. And I also resonate with that. And when I'm out speaking, I talk with people and I asked them what are they passionate about? And oftentimes the first, very first answer I get is I don't know, and it's you know. Then they have to think about it and maybe they can figure something out, right, yep, right, And just like you, I'm really getting too, because that's the juice, right, that's where you're doing. You're giving something of yourself to the world. That's your passion, and that's your juice. And I love the way that you really help us understand that that's the secret to our renewable energy. That is such a great way to presence it. Yeah, because it's in there, and then that's what you know we've been endowed with, and there's something holy about that. So we have to again not just keep it for ourselves, but identify what it is, which is not always an easy thing to do, but sometimes you need a little help to do that and then find a way to share that with the world here here, So with that, we're coming to a close here, Rabbi, and this show has it's beautiful that I get to engage with people from all over the world on the show, and I have listeners from across the globe. I do have guests from across the globe, and it's really designed help it will create more meaningful and purposeful lives and work with that. What would you allow to leave our listeners with. I'd like to leave them with the story, which is, we believe that every human being, before you're born, This is an idea of mysticism, is an angel inside of you that's teaching you the path to meaning, significance and leading a life of legacy and life. And right before we're born, an angel taps us underneath the nose and that light is very deep with then we don't know it, but it's really inside of us. At the very end of our lives, we're getted by an angel and we recognize that angel because that angel planted the light inside of us. And the angel asked us two questions. Did you reveal the light that I've planted within you? And did you share that light with the world? And everybody who's listening to this show has a beautiful light inside of them, But I urge you ask yourself every day this question. Did I reveal the light? Did I become the best that I could be with a life that God has given me? And it did I share that light with the world? Did I change the world of one person today? And the more that we can do that every day, the more our lives will be filled with meaning. And I know God willing all of us will lead lives of legacy now and forever. GRABBI, what a beautiful way to close our conversation. I thank you so very much for the gift of being on the show that pleasure. Thank you. We hope you've enjoyed this week's program, be sure to tune in to Working on Purpose, featuring your host, Alice Cortez, each week on the Voice America Empowerment Channel. This week, find your life's purpose at work.