Never Stop Growing and Learning

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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential. Business can be

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such a force for good in the
world, elevating humanity. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want

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Working on purpose now. Here is
your host, Doctor Elise Cortez. Welcome

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back to the Working on Purpose program
Face June in again this week. I'm

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your host, doctor Elise Cortes.
John You lie from Dallas, Texas,

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which is home based for me.
By way of introduction, If you don't

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know me, I'm a management consultant
specializing and meaning and purpose, organizational logo

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therapist, inspirational speaker, social scientist, and author. There are many ways

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we can work together. I encourage
you to go to one of my sites

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at least Cortez dot com or Augusta
Dashnow dot com and learn how. There's

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also some free resources uput there for
you to download and use as you like.

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If you've been tuning in for a
while. You know this program is

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a thought leadership series that enlightens and
inspires listeners and viewers with insights from distinguished

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business leaders, authors and subject matter
experts. By listening in, you're part

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of the movement to create inspirational leaders
and enlivening workplaces where we can thrive and

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do business that betters the world.
Glad you're here with us for today's program

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is Renee Sermac, a self esteem
expert and author who is on a mission

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to help others lead in extraordinary life
by making their self esteem how much they

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like themselves, their number one priority. She accomplishes this through her dynamic Nobleshit

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coaching methods serving as a catalyst for
lifelong change in people's lives, and her

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book How to Be Your Biggest Fan, The Value and Power of Self Esteem.

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We'll be talking about some key points
from her book, my own experience

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as a participant in the personal transformation
work she does, and learn how people

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actually change and grow. She joined
us to day from Phoenix, Arizona.

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Renee, welcome to Working on Purpose. Thank you so much. I'm delighted

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to be here today. Isn't it
so fantastic. We're both geeks in the

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personal transformation space and I get to
learn from you and share you with the

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world. I'm so happy to have
your Renee. I'm so happy to be

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here. And yeah, the day
we met as a pleasure for me and

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my future and I look for it
to all of our discussions me too,

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and for listeners. I do like
to tell you how I find my guests.

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I picked up Renee. She was
mining her own business. I was

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at a pside Basic seminar in Dallas
of June of twenty twenty, and Renee

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was there helping to facilitate and helping
us getting going, and I just was

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immediately grounded to her energy and what
she was up to in the world and

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wanted to share her. So that's
how it started. And so Renee,

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I always like to know why in
the world are you doing this work?

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So how did you get into personal
transformation? Why this space? Why not

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accounting, marketing, finance, anything. Well, I was on track to

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I was attending a naturopathic medical school
at one point, so it wasn't my

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mission to be in the personal growth
industry. However, I took this seminar

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twenty two years ago a three day
personal growth seminar, the one that you

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just described taking last June, and
it changed the whole trajectory of my life.

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And it's kind of my mission to
for as many people as possible to

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experience personal growth in general. Yet
also PSI seminars, I think that,

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you know, we do the best
job in the industry. And I took

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this class when I was twenty seven
years old and I was a cocktail waitress

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and my self esteem, you know, was not so great. And the

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results that I had at twenty seven
years old fit my beliefs about myself back

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then, which we're not so great, just like my results now fit my

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beliefs which are very different. Mhm. Two things. So One, since

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we both work in a personal transformation
space, there is nothing like getting to

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witness and be part of seeing some
of these molecules change in front of your

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eyes as they transform. Yes,
yes, it is an honor and a

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privilege and it's so exciting to watch
and be a part of. And and

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I'm and I know I remember my
aha moments of you know, realizing my

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capability when when you know, five
minutes before or an hour before, I

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didn't know about it, and so
when I see people's eyes, you know,

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open up in the wonder of like
holy cow, I had no idea.

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I had no idea that I could
do that. I had no idea

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that I was this capable. I
had no idea that my future is in

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my hands based on my beliefs and
my choices. H Yeah. And the

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second point I wanted to make is, at least for the last eight years,

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I have systematically invested in some kind
of a fairly important investment in myself

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each year to catalyze my own learning
and development. And of course I put

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that out for our listeners and viewers
because I believe in investing in my own

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development and I want all of you
to do the same. So I wanted

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to be sure and say that because
both you you met, you went through

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this yourself some twenty seven years ago. I've just gone through it recently this

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weekend and then back in June,
as well as other programs, and I

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think what you're doing is really amazing, and which is why I wanted to

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share it so that you're welcome.
And so now I want to talk about

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what you've done in your book,
which I think is phenomenal. That you've

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isolated a singular concept and really explained
it. So you've written a book about

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the value and power of self esteem. So for our viewers who have not

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read it cover to cover as I
have, why is in testing so important?

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Oh my god, it's the number
one most important thing because it is

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the number one driver to all of
your results, whether it be money results,

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reallyationship results, health results, you
name it. It is directly correlated

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to your level of self esteem or
how much you like yourself or what I

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call your self estimate. You know, your opinion is the only one that

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matters. We make it oftentimes about
what other people think. And yet you

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know, if there is one brilliant
place for you to invest time and money,

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it is in your self esteem because
you are unable to detach from your

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self esteem. You know, it's
not a guarantee. You know who you're

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going to be around and the relationships
and the experiences, but what is guaranteed

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is that your self esteem will be
along for the ride. And so everywhere

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you go, whether it's every money
making opportunity, every relationship, every vacation,

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every yoga class, like, there's
you and your self esteem running the

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results and so The most brilliant place
to invest time and money is making that

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the biggest and best it can be. Like, I like to think about

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me and my self esteem running down
the beach like a Biagra commercial, you

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know, and people are like OK, and like we're hand in hand,

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and it's me and my self esteem, and my self esteem is the number

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one priority. And people say things
like, well, what about your husband.

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I go listen. My husband is
the lucky guy that gets to be

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with us a couple of hours a
day. Yet I have to make my

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self esteem the number one priority so
that I'm bringing the biggest, best version

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of me to the party. And
when I'm doing that, then my husband

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wins and my eight year old daughter
wins. However, if I make them

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the priority number one, it looks
like it's giving, it looks really great.

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Yet they don't win in the long
run because they're not getting the biggest,

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best version of me, because I'm
not putting my self esteem first,

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like like truly walking this earth,
liking myself, being proud of myself,

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having respect from myself. It's the
most important thing because it drives all other

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results. So Crisp, I love
that, and I love I love the

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idea, the actual the image of
you and your self esteem. If you

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gallivanting down the beats like Viagra commercial. I love that. That's no one's

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ever going to forget that night.
That's perfect. And I also like what

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you've said to in your book which
really resonated with me, is I and

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you correct me if I don't serve
this upright, But you've said something that

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how you dress is a direct indication
of your level of self esteem. Yeah,

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I mean, your level of self
esteem affects what you eat, It

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affects how you dress, It affects
who you surround yourself with, It effects

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how I mean, it affects everything. It shows up, as you say,

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everywhere we go, in every instance. And I just think that's so

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powerful for our listeners to get right
out of the gate, which is why

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I wanted to start with that.
So then the next thing that we have

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to talk about, which is really
profound and very sobering, So bear with

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us, listeners and viewers. This
is going to perhaps blow your mind.

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But one of the things that you
talk about in your book and we talked

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about in the session, of course, is that most of our beliefs were

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by the time we're nine years old, and yet of course that we rely

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on these in something like an autopilot
format to run our whole entire life.

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That is just scary as all get
out, it is. I mean,

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you know, when we were born, we were clean slates, anything as

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possible, and then as we start
growing up, we start having experiences,

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we start having examples around us,
and we start and we start creating our

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belief system. We have a belief
about everything, and so by the time

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we're nine years old, eighty percent
of our thoughts, habits, thinking,

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everything that we're going to use to
be successful as an adult is eighty percent

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of it is set up by the
time we are nine years old, and

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then the ninety five percent is set
up by the time that we are eighteen

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years old. And so by the
when we're eighteen, we have this belief

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system, and then we go out
into the world to be right about our

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belief system. Yet none of us
are right, because all of us had

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a very limited view of all things
as possible. And when you think about

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you know that you were nine years
old, eighty percent is built. And

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if you if you look at you
in your life when you were nine years

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old and what was happening around you
are what are some of the beliefs that

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you could have ended up with as
a nine year old That people are trustworthy,

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people are not trustworthy, that the
world is a scary place, that

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the world is extraordinary, and you
know, and so depending on what beliefs

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you adopted, they are absolutely affecting
what's happening in the world today because the

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nine year old and you decided something
about you and money, and it's quite

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possible that you're playing it out today, or the nine year old and you

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decided something about you and relationships and
you could still be playing it out today.

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So for the people that are listening, listeners and viewers, if you

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haven't done a lot of work on
this personal transformation or even personal world or

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even investigating self awareness and understanding what
you do, this is profoundly important work

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to do. And what I want
to go into an extrona is this notion

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of a limiting belief and how they
show up in our lives. So this

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is probably, I would say,
some of the most important work that I

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that I've done on myself and that
help others do as well. So for

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our listeners and viewers who don't understand
a limiting belief or a limiting view.

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Help us understand that, and it's
important. Oh yes, I mean limiting

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belief is a negative, repetitive thought. You know, a belief that you

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have about you that is not so
positive. Right, it's you know,

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I am short, or I am
tall, or I am usually starts with

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an I am statement, right,
I am lazy, I procrastinate and so

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and so when you think about you
know, I often ask people do you

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talk to yourselves? Right? And
most people go, yeah, I talk

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to myself. And I say,
would you ever let anybody talk to you

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the way that you talk to yourself? And of course the answer is no,

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I would never. And so I
imagine that there's this head that sits

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not our shoulder, and it's going
twenty four hours a day. It's like

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dad, The question is what are
you saying to yourself all day long?

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And is it in support of going
to do great things? Or are you

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cutting yourself off at the knees,
you know, two hundred times a day,

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and most of it unconsciously. So
we're not usually aware of the limiting

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beliefs that we're saying to ourselves.
However, when you think about when you

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make a mistake. You know what's
automatic? Is there a like you know,

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you stink you should have done better? Somebody else would have blooda da

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da da da da. Right.
So those are all the dialogues that we

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have with ourselves, and how we
speak to ourselves absolutely affects everything about what

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we do. And so just even
talking nicer to ourselves or being aware of

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some of the negative things, the
negative limiting beliefs that we have, because

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you know, if we say them
often enough, they're they're going to run

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the show. M So, listeners
and viewers, I want you to think

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about that for just a second.
What is it that? What is that

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I AM statement that you tell yourself
over and over again. I will absolutely

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admit that for me, one of
the biggest I am statements limiting beliefs that

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I tell myself that I have to
intervene in is I'm stupid? That was

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I am so stupid? How can
I how can I come up with that?

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So think about that. If I'm
telling myself I'm stupid, how much

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is that getting me where I want
to go? So I want you to

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think about that, listeners and viewers, this is really important work and then

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the next thing I want to cover, and then we've got a couple of

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questions here in the queue that I
want to que up for you. Renee.

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This is really I find this incredibly
powerful that you say in your book.

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It's so profound to consider. You
say, the quickest way to create

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your extraordinary future is to give up
your way. Say more about that.

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Yes, well, we are walking
habits. From the moment we wake up

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to the moment we go to bed. Everything that we do is a habit.

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We have a one way of doing
everything. Somewhere along the line,

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it became our way. However,
way back when we had a lot of

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options, and then we made a
choice, and we did it over and

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over and over and over and over
till all the other positive is just kind

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of dissipated away, and there was
only one way to do it, and

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it's our way. And we like
to think that our way is the best

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way and the most effective way,
and usually it's not. It's simply one

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way out of many possibilities that we
chose, and it's usually not the best

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way or the most active way.
And so when we stick to our one

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way of doing things, we miss
out on all of the other ways.

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And so the key to experiencing bliss, the key to experiencing goal achievement,

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the key to experiencing great relationships is
to give up your way, to give

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up control. There's some people that
are like choking the life out of relationships

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or business, and so what that
also means is to surrender your way that

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there are other ways to get things
done, bigger, better ways, faster

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ways to get things done. And
when you surrender your way such that you

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get committed to the end result,
the end result being a great relationship or

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the achievement of the goal, and
that's the only thing that's important. And

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you give up your way and the
mes mechanism, now you're open to hundreds,

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if not thousands of other ways and
possibilities and solutions that you never saw

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before. Because when you're on your
one way, you have a very limiting

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beliefs. And so one of my
favorite quotes is you can either have great

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relationships or you can be right,
not both. And so when you want,

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when you're more focused on having a
great relationship, than you have to

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continually give up your way and your
need to be right, because it's more

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important for you to have great relationship
than how often you're right, m beautifully

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said, so so important. There's
scold in those words, ladies and gentlemen.

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Okay, a couple of questions.
It's very hard, so hard.

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I was going to say that it
sounds simple, yet it's one of the

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most challenging things we will ever do
is give up our way because we're really

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we're really tied to it. We
really like our way, totally agree.

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So one of the questions we're getting
from our listeners here is how can we

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find what dry us? How can
we find what drives us? Well?

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I can. I always recommend personal
growth seminars are designed for you to uncover

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what drives you. It's they're designed
for you to see what lights you up,

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what holds you back? You know, what do you want? You

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know with your limited time on this
planet? Like who are you? What

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are you about? What do you
want to create? And what is your

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future vision? Right? And so
starting with uh, you know, in

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the future in my vision or my
legacy, like what do I want to

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leave behind? And then it usually
becomes clear how to make that happen once

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you define what it is that you
want to make happen. Beautifully said,

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let's from our first break here on
that note, I'm a last Cortez,

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your host. We've been there with
Renee Sermak, who is a self esteem

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expert and author who was on a
mission to help others lead an extraordinary life

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by making their self esteem that is
much they like themselves their number one priority.

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And those listeners and viewers who are
asking about the book. The name

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of her book is How to Be
Your Biggest Fan, The Value and Power

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of High Self Esteem. We've been
talking a bit about some of the important,

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really important principles in that book.
After the break, we're going to

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talk about my experience of being in
that personal development seminar. Stay with us,

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We'll be right back. Doctor Release
Cortez is a management consultant specializing in

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meaning and purpose and inspirational speaker and
author. She helps companies visioneer for greater

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purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired
leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

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performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite

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a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her at a lease Cortez

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00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:49.680
dot com. Let's talk about how
to get your employees Working on Purpose.

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00:17:56.839 --> 00:18:02.519
This is Working on Purpose with Doctor
Release Cortez. To reach our program today

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00:18:02.599 --> 00:18:07.519
or open a conversation with Elise,
send an email to Elise ali se at

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00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:19.960
Elise Cortez dot com. Now back
to Working on Purpose. Thanks for sting

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00:18:19.960 --> 00:18:22.839
with us, and welcome back to
Working on Purpose. I have an announcement

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to share with you. In this
recent pandemic, I had a baby.

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Did you know that, Renee.
It's actually called Purpose Ignited, How Inspiring

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Leaders unleash passion, Innovate Cause.
So it's a book and it's now on

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Amazon. It was so fun to
create this, so I wrote it to

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really transform leaders and to create inspirational
leaders and help people really turn on to

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their own passion, inspiration and purpose. So I'm happy to share that with

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you if you're just joining the program
today. My guest is Renee Sermax.

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She's a self esteem expert and author
who's on a mission help others lead an

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extraordinary life by making their self esteem, that is, how much they like

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themselves their number one priority. I'm
your host, doctor LEAs Cortez, So

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for this segment, Renee, I
want to get into the work that you

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and team do to really help people
personally transform. And as you know,

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I am just freshly back from the
Life Success Course seven days in High Valley

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Ranch. It was amazing, and
I want to get into some of the

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things that were that happened there so
that our listeners and viewers kind of understand

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the import of going through something like
that if there's any value for themselves.

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And so, as I said in
the first segment, I really believe in

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investing in myself and have been doing
something pretty significant for at least the last

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eight years. And I do that
to catalyze my own development and to realize

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more of my own value to being
service of my clients. So the thing

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that I find really interesting is when
you think about this, that the effectiveness

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of this course really, in my
view and part, relies on the fact

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that it's experiential learning. So would
you help us understand first what do we

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mean by experiential learning and why do
you think that's so important in catalyzing personal

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transformation? Oh? Yes, well, yeah, I mean you can be

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lectured to for days and days and
days and hear all sorts of great information,

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yet until you experience it and apply
it and have an emotional connection,

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you know, it's interesting. Even
in our three day class and definitely in

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the in the seven day class,
the facilitator might introduce a topic or a

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subject and you're listening, you go, oh, that applies to everyone else.

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However, that really does not apply
to mean whatsoever. And then literally

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nine minutes later, you're on the
other side of experiential exercise and you realize,

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not only does it apply to you, it applies to you twenty three

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times a day. Yet nine minutes
ago you would have bet money that that

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has nothing to do with you in
your life. And so when you experience

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it and move through it right and
all of the it's possible that limiting beliefs

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come up, or it's possible that
fear comes up. You know, one

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of the best things that comes out
of going to the Life Success course is

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your different relationship with fear. Right
able to use fear as an ally instead

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of allowing it to stop you in
your tracks. That you realize that everything

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really great and extraordinary had fear along
with it. And if you keep moving

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and taking steps forward, pretty soon
you're on the other side with a big

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old smile on your face, with
all sorts of pride that you didn't allow

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whatever that was to be bigger than
you. So so incredibly useful and illuminating,

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right, So that's one of the
words that I used coming back from

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the Life Success course is so illuminating. I got so much information about myself,

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and I've done a lot of work
on myself. This is not like

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this is my first rodeo, and
I got a ton out of it.

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So one of the things that I
thought was incredibly useful. And you helped

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set this up for us rone and
the precall before we even got to the

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ranches, you told us, you
said this course is purposely designed to push

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your buttons, and you said it
helps us to see the boundaries of our

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resistance. And I wasn't quite sure
how that was look but that's what happened.

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And so I think that that probably
qualifies for what I come to understand

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in my purpose work as a shadow
work. And so from a course objective

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human development advantage point, why do
you think it's important for us to understand

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what pushes our buttons? Well,
any anytime that there that you get a

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button pushed, it is a highlight
to the fact that that's an area in

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your life that you haven't reached mastery, otherwise the button wouldn't get pushed.

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Because every time a button gets pushed, it's like you taking your power,

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putting it on a platter and handing
it over to the person that pushed your

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buttons and say, why don't you
take my power away for a couple hours

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while I react to my buttons getting
pushed. And so one of the ways

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that you can learn the most about
yourself is to examine, to never miss

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an opportunity to examine one of your
buttons getting pushed, and to get extremely

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curious as to why what just happened
is that the person is at the topic,

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because what's happening is somebody else's belief
is rubbing up against your belief and

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you don't like it. And so
when you get a button pushed and you

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start to react, and there's lots
of different ways that we react. You

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know, having to go to the
bathroom could be a reaction. You know,

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going to bed as a reaction,
having to go get a cup of

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coffee, getting angry is a reaction. And so when you react, to

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notice and to start asking your questions
yourself, questions like why am I reacting?

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What is this about? And when
you're willing to ask questions, you

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get answers back. And when you
get those answers, it takes the edge

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off. It's like when you have
an understanding that it's like that person reminds

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me of my mother in law,
which is why I get when I'm around

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them, when you understand that,
you no longer have to give your power

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away and you can look at the
person and go, I got to find

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something great about them because I'm not
going to continue to associate them with my

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mother in law because they're not my
mother in law. So powerful, right,

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Immagine listeners and viewers, if you
could let go, if you if

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you can not be run by that
kind of power, how much of a

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difference that would make in your life. It's incredible. And so for me,

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Renee, I don't know if we
talked about this before I went to

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High Valley Ranch, but you know, one of the big things that I

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wanted to focus on by attending this
particular siminar at this time is I want

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it is really focused on iterating a
newer, more scalable, pandemic friendly business

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model that continued to let me honor
my purpose and express it more fully in

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the work that I do, so
that's why I went. And so one

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of the things that was so interesting
for me is, you know, on

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day two, we were asked to
talk about, you know, kind of

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what's crappy in our lives, what
crappy things have happened in our lives.

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And at first I didn't really have
much to say about that because it didn't

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occur for me that way. So
I went in and I did what of

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course we should do, I think, is I said, And I really

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listened intently to as my fellow participants
shared their stories, and I listened with

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empathy and compassion, and as they
went along, Renee no surprise, but

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their stories open my own heart.
And then I got, I got we're

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present to you know, what was
happening for me, and of course I

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got completely moved to tears, and
then I could open my own mindset to

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what was occurring for me, and
I got more present to my own program.

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So for our listeners and viewers who
don't know what a program is,

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what's a program and how do we
get it? Well, a program,

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you know, is kind of equal
to what we were talking about before in

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limiting beliefs, and they're usually negative
limiting beliefs. You know you mentioned yours

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about I'm so stupid. One of
my biggest programs is I am not enough.

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I'm not smart enough, or attractive
enough or fun enough. Now,

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what you want to know is that
once you get a program, you're not

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able to get rid of it.
However, you can minimize it. And

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you want to know that the reason
why you created the program in the first

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place was to survive. Right,
our programs are limiting beliefs keep us safe

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and allow us to survive. Right, they might cause us to be guarded

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and to hold back in relationships to
survive, or to play a smaller game

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so that we don't get hurt out
there to survive. And so the great

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news is we've all survived, and
now it might be time to start thriving.

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And so in order to start thriving, you got to give up those

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programs. Now you you're not able
to ever make them go away. However,

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when I first started personal growth twenty
two years ago, my negative programs

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beliefs about me were larger than life. And so in the last twenty two

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years, I've been actively working on
you know which pile am I going to

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feed the pile that says I'm not
enough or the pile that says clearly I

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am enough. And so whichever pile
I feed is pile of evidence. I

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mean, whichever one I feed is
the one that's going to win when I'm

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on automatic pilot or unconscious ninety five
percent of the time. And so you

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know, if you've been you know, putting evidence the pile of not being

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capable for thirty years, now we
have to get to work and putting evidence

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in the other pile that says that
you are capable. And so again you

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could take it from super huge and
minimize it down to this big sets that

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those limiting beliefs are no longer running
your life, and some more positive beliefs

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about you, like I am an
up or I am abundant can start running.

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So for listeners and viewers, this
might be some of the first time

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you've ever heard some of this idea
of a program running you, etc.

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And this is it might just seem
really out there. It's incredibly powerful,

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useful when you recognize just what that
thing is. So you've already started to

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talk about this renee because you're starting
to talk about possibility. But again,

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what I want to make sure our
listeners get from our conversation is something a

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little bit actionable as they walk away
before they sign up to register for a

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session. And so you know,
once we recognize this program, and there's

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power first and knowing what's the program, but then the second thing is you

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started to speak to it, what
and we do to create the results that

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we actually want in life rather than
being run from the program. Well,

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it's about well, yes, and
the awareness you then can do something different.

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And so there's nothing like evidence to
combat limiting beliefs. Like I have

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conversations with myself every day all day
and so even doing this show right,

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00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:26.880
there's there's it's usually what I'm in
the shower, that little voice comes up

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00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:30.200
that goes, who do you think
you are? You can't do this right?

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00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:36.359
And so I could listen to that
voice. However I recognize it and

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00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:37.599
I'll talk to him. I'll go
listen. I don't have time for you

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00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:41.799
today. I have something important to
do with Elise. And if you really

410
00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:45.000
want to know, you know,
I have this piece of evidence and this

411
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:48.200
one and this one and this one
and this one and this one. So

412
00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:53.200
it's you got to get busy producing
evidence like even if you're scared to get

413
00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:56.759
up and do it anyway, because
then there's one piece of evidence, and

414
00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:00.000
if that wasn't bigger than you,
then maybe there's some other things that are

415
00:29:00.039 --> 00:29:03.440
not bigger than you. And then
you get up and you go do that,

416
00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:06.240
and now you've got two pieces and
so on and so on, and

417
00:29:06.279 --> 00:29:11.079
at some point you have so much
evidence that it's irrefutable and you can tell

418
00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:15.119
your programs where to go. I
love that, and that's just so that's

419
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:18.680
extremely actionable. And then the other
thing that you said first before we even

420
00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:21.640
went into the session, that I
want to talk through a little bit here

421
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:23.000
today because it was so powerful,
is what you said to us on the

422
00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:26.440
call before we went to the ranches. You said, you know, imagine

423
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:29.759
that, you know, when you
first get a button pushed, maybe it'll

424
00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:33.799
take you four days or something to
kind of come back around to overcome or

425
00:29:34.279 --> 00:29:37.000
deal with the fact that your buttons
have been pushed, you've hoffed off or

426
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:40.400
whatever, you're not talking about it, and then maybe becomes two days,

427
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:42.079
and then maybe you're able to get
down to one day or a half a

428
00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:45.799
day. But the opportunity, as
you told us, was to be able

429
00:29:45.839 --> 00:29:51.400
to have something literally hit your button
and then for you to quickly recover and

430
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:55.160
not have it have you. And
so one of the things that you said

431
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:57.720
is you said, our job is
to minimize the amount of buttons that control

432
00:29:57.880 --> 00:30:00.839
us. That's one of the things
if you say in the book, and

433
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:03.319
what you resist is in your is
in control of you, you say,

434
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.440
And I just thought that was so
powerful. So would you speak more to

435
00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:11.599
this notion of these how these buttons
work on us and our ability to handle

436
00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:18.079
the resistance piece? Yes, absolutely, Gosh, you listen to so many

437
00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:19.559
things that I set at least I'm
so, I'm it, and I rent

438
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:22.359
your book cover to cover, well, I know, And so I mean,

439
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:26.960
I think people can really relate to
catching themselves days later and wishing they

440
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:32.559
could go back to the moment of
the fight or the argument or the confrontation

441
00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:37.160
or whatever happened, and they would
do it different. And so to be

442
00:30:37.279 --> 00:30:41.960
able to catch yourself and to be
able to know yourself so well that you

443
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:48.319
can positively interfere when it is happening
is the ultimate goal. Not a day

444
00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:52.599
after it happens, not even an
hour after it happens. However, you've

445
00:30:52.599 --> 00:30:56.279
got to practice and practice and practice, because you'll start to even notice what

446
00:30:56.359 --> 00:30:59.519
your body feels like in it.
And so if you're in tune, you

447
00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:02.759
go, oh, I'm starting to
get that feeling. Oh it's happening.

448
00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:06.000
There's a button being pushed. And
then you can even stop and go,

449
00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:08.920
I like, there was a button
being pushed right then, And so let's

450
00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:11.960
have a conversation so I can figure
out in the moment why I was about

451
00:31:11.960 --> 00:31:17.839
to start reacting or getting annoyed or
getting angry, and so that like again,

452
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:21.720
the best person to be so curious, like I want you to be

453
00:31:21.799 --> 00:31:23.759
fascinated by you, Like why do
you do the things that you do?

454
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:27.559
Why do you react over here and
not over here? Why is it hard

455
00:31:27.599 --> 00:31:32.559
to accept feedback? Why you know, did I have the need to make

456
00:31:32.599 --> 00:31:34.720
my husband wrong last night? Like
why? And when you ask all those

457
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:40.000
questions, you'll get answers back.
And then all of those answers are like

458
00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:42.279
shaving your buttons down. I mean, some people have buttons that stick out

459
00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:47.640
so far that people bump against them
just walking by, right, they get

460
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:51.960
offended by a look or a comment
or something like that. And so to

461
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:56.799
be a great leader of self is
to shave your buttons down. Like think,

462
00:31:56.839 --> 00:31:59.960
I have an analogy of like sand
paper, that you're taking the sand

463
00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:04.480
paper and you're shaving those buttons down
such that they're not protruding out, such

464
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:07.960
that nobody knocks against them, such
that there's no reason to hand your power

465
00:32:08.559 --> 00:32:14.160
away. And it feels so good
to stop it in the moment and to

466
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:19.839
go I just positively interfered with my
unconscious you know, with my automatic pilot.

467
00:32:19.880 --> 00:32:23.240
I was about to go on autopilot
and get really upset or do what

468
00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:27.920
I normally do, a predictable habit, and I was able to stop myself

469
00:32:27.960 --> 00:32:30.359
in the moment. However, first, before you can stop yourself in the

470
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:35.839
moment, you have to have a
lot of failures of figuring it out after

471
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:39.240
the fact and not in the moment. Right, And so, listeners of

472
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:42.880
yours, let me translate this for
you if I know there's a lot to

473
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:45.400
take in, because Renee knows a
lot about this, but let me just

474
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:47.119
bring it home for you, just
to make it a little bit easier and

475
00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:51.400
palpable. So what's the net of
this. This is going to change and

476
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:54.559
improve your relationships, it's going to
improve your results in life, and it

477
00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:59.359
work to be more effective. Right, So if you're not being run by

478
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:01.720
your buttons being pushed, you can
be in the moment and connected to someone

479
00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:06.720
and actually have the relationship that you
actually want and to be the person that

480
00:33:06.759 --> 00:33:07.759
you want to be in the world
and how the results that you want.

481
00:33:07.880 --> 00:33:12.119
That's why we do this work.
It's worth it. It's fantastic. Renee,

482
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:15.680
so glad to be talking to you. Let's grab our second break.

483
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:17.480
I'm Elise Cortez, your host.
We were there with Renee Sermax. She's

484
00:33:17.480 --> 00:33:21.319
a self esteem expert and author who
was on a mission to help others lead

485
00:33:21.359 --> 00:33:24.119
in extraordinary life by making their self
esteem, which is how they like themselves,

486
00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:28.640
their number one priority. She's the
author of How to Be Your Biggest

487
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:30.759
Fan, The Value and Power of
high Self Esteem. Stay with us,

488
00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:37.160
We'll be right back. Doctor Elise
Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

489
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:42.960
and purpose and inspirational speaker and author. She helps companies visioneer for greater purpose

490
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:50.039
among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

491
00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.359
performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite a

492
00:33:54.440 --> 00:33:59.559
lease to speak to your organization,
please visit her at a lease Cortez dot

493
00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:09.880
com. Let's talk about how to
get your employees working on purpose. This

494
00:34:09.960 --> 00:34:15.519
is Working on Purpose with doctor Elise
Cortez. To reach our program today or

495
00:34:15.559 --> 00:34:21.679
open a conversation with Elise, send
an email to Elise ali Se at Elise

496
00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:32.159
Cortez dot com. Now back to
working on Purpose. Thanks for staying with

497
00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:36.239
us, and welcome back to working
on Purpose. I have another announcement for

498
00:34:36.280 --> 00:34:37.679
you, and that is that in
the fall of last year, we actually

499
00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:44.199
announced Augusto now e learning platform.
It's a transformation and e learning platform that

500
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:47.360
has my signature course Finally Inspired Living
and Leading from Purpose on it, as

501
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:51.880
well as some other professional development programs. And we do them in English,

502
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:54.079
Spanish and Portuguese. Those are my
languages. I love them. I do

503
00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:58.400
offer a twenty percent discount to listeners
and when you check out, you just

504
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.400
use the code WOP twenty. I
can't wait to see you in class.

505
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:04.679
It's so much fun to actually do
this now. We don't actually have physical

506
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:07.480
boundaries. We just actually do this
together online. It's amazing. If you're

507
00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:10.800
just tuning in. My guess is
Renee Sarmac. She's a self esteem expert

508
00:35:10.840 --> 00:35:14.960
and author who is on a mission
to help others lead in extraordinary life by

509
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.000
making our self esteem their number one
priority. So where we left off here

510
00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:22.159
was I wanted to get into next
is how we can actually change and grow.

511
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:27.400
That's the focus of this last segment
here and A. So, you

512
00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:30.519
know, a lot of people,
as you well know, don't necessarily believe

513
00:35:30.519 --> 00:35:32.280
that people can change. They think
that they can't grow. And of course

514
00:35:32.360 --> 00:35:35.920
you and I wouldn't be doing the
work that we do if we believe that,

515
00:35:36.199 --> 00:35:38.920
right, So I want to get
into some of the things that you

516
00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:43.119
say in your book about that.
And I find this so encouraging and empowering

517
00:35:43.159 --> 00:35:45.280
what you say. So you say, so, how do you create new

518
00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:50.719
habits easily the same way you created
the old habits? Your repetition of the

519
00:35:50.760 --> 00:35:52.639
small stuff, your self esteem,
and the little things you do or don't

520
00:35:52.639 --> 00:35:58.760
do are inextricably wound together to produce
the results that surround you big and small,

521
00:35:59.079 --> 00:36:02.480
in every area of your life.
That's so yummy saying more about that.

522
00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:06.639
I know, you know, I
used to think that self esteem was

523
00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:10.119
created by the big stuff, you
know, like receiving an award on stage

524
00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:17.599
or being in the school play or
something like that, and I realized that

525
00:36:17.639 --> 00:36:22.079
well, And I also heard a
speaker one say that ten percent of life

526
00:36:22.119 --> 00:36:24.159
is the really great moments, and
another ten percent is the not so great

527
00:36:24.199 --> 00:36:30.039
and the eighty percent left is like
the every day, the daily grind.

528
00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:35.039
And so if you can, you
know, bring passion, you know,

529
00:36:35.159 --> 00:36:38.280
to the daily grind. But our
every result, every one of our habits,

530
00:36:38.280 --> 00:36:42.079
started you know, one day long
ago, and then we did it

531
00:36:42.199 --> 00:36:45.199
day after day after day after day, and then it became weeks, and

532
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:47.239
then it became months, and then
it became years, and then it became

533
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:51.719
a big old result of either being
you know, in shape or overweight,

534
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:57.119
or in debt or you know,
prepared for your retirement. And so all

535
00:36:57.159 --> 00:37:00.960
of this small stuff, it's not
the big moments that make up the majority

536
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.880
of our self esteem, is the
everyday moments, the little stuff that it's

537
00:37:04.920 --> 00:37:07.760
easy to discount, easy to go, oh, that doesn't matter. Well,

538
00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:12.159
the one time, it doesn't matter. However, after thousands of times,

539
00:37:12.199 --> 00:37:15.239
you know, it builds up to
produce a big result. So every

540
00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:20.800
habit that you currently have right now
started with one day, and then you've

541
00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:22.280
built on it and built on it
and built on it. And so if

542
00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:25.280
you want to create some new,
bigger, better habits than the ones that

543
00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:30.800
you have today, the great news
is that you get to start today and

544
00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:34.440
then it's about being successful today,
and then tomorrow is a new day to

545
00:37:34.440 --> 00:37:37.559
be successful, and then the next
day, and then if you keep going

546
00:37:37.559 --> 00:37:39.679
and going and going one day at
a time, pretty soon that you have

547
00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:44.719
a new habit that you've been doing
for months and now years, and now

548
00:37:44.760 --> 00:37:52.320
you have new different results. Yeah. And then there's one really important key

549
00:37:52.360 --> 00:37:53.480
to that which you write about.
That's the next thing I want to talk

550
00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:57.000
about. And you say, the
best thing you can do to get to

551
00:37:57.039 --> 00:38:01.440
your goal is to get into action, massive action. So talk to us,

552
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:07.760
if you would, about how action
and courage are related. Well,

553
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:12.360
I mean, every it's scary to
take action. It's easier think about it

554
00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:15.320
and talk about it and plan and
getting ready to get ready. I mean,

555
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:19.719
you know people that have been planning
and getting ready to get ready for

556
00:38:19.920 --> 00:38:22.800
ten years, and so to actually
take action takes courage. And even if

557
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:27.000
it was the wrong action, when
you're on the other side of it,

558
00:38:27.400 --> 00:38:30.559
you realize that it took courage and
it didn't kill you, right, and

559
00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:34.199
whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And in that action, like some

560
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:39.000
people stand at acrossroads for years right
in analysis paralysis and not knowing which path

561
00:38:39.079 --> 00:38:43.199
to choose. And if you take
a step, you'll know soon enough whether

562
00:38:43.239 --> 00:38:45.199
that was the right path or the
wrong path. And if it was the

563
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:50.239
wrong path, then you can get
moving on the right path because every action

564
00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:58.079
gives you information about what's working and
what's not working, and if that's where

565
00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:00.800
you want to continue to move forward
to m And the other thing that I

566
00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:05.360
learned too by having Cheff Hayden on
my radio show a couple a couple of

567
00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:07.119
years ago, he wrote a book
called The Motivation Myth. Is that right?

568
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:09.960
And speak to this if you would, rene, when we get into

569
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.840
action, then it bolsters our self
esteem because we recognize we're doing something toward

570
00:39:14.880 --> 00:39:19.039
our goal. Right, So just
the very taking of action already creates a

571
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:23.159
sense of energy and inertia and momentum. It's so true, and it creates

572
00:39:23.239 --> 00:39:28.760
the desire to keep moving. You
know. It's like, you know,

573
00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:31.039
if you're a salesperson and you get
a sale, you know the next thing

574
00:39:31.039 --> 00:39:35.400
you want to do is get another
sale. You know, It's like but

575
00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:39.639
so I love the part in my
book where I totally borrowed at the part

576
00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:44.320
regarding the action. It's like I
don't feel like running, Well, that's

577
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:46.039
because you're not running yet. As
soon as you start running, you feel

578
00:39:46.079 --> 00:39:50.519
like running, you know. And
it's that is so true, and people

579
00:39:50.519 --> 00:39:52.760
that run they know that to be
true. It's like, I don't feel

580
00:39:52.760 --> 00:39:53.880
like running right now, Well,
that's because you're not running. As soon

581
00:39:53.880 --> 00:39:57.440
as you start running, you'll feel
like running. It's like I don't feel

582
00:39:57.440 --> 00:39:59.639
like getting a sale right now,
Well, that's because you're not getting a

583
00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:00.920
sale. Soon as you start getting
a sale, you'll feel like getting a

584
00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:06.280
sale. I mean. So it's
like just the act of moving and the

585
00:40:06.519 --> 00:40:08.559
self esteem, yes, that comes
from it because you could have made the

586
00:40:08.599 --> 00:40:13.599
choice to still be sitting on the
couch eating bond bonds, and yet you

587
00:40:13.639 --> 00:40:16.039
are taking actions. So there's a
certain amount of pride that comes with that.

588
00:40:16.280 --> 00:40:21.639
And you know the you know,
the courage part as well. Yeah,

589
00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:23.079
and you know, why do I
care about this? Listeners and viors,

590
00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:25.159
you've heard me say this before,
if you've tuned in. I care

591
00:40:25.199 --> 00:40:30.320
about your one precious life. What
are you doing with this one precious life

592
00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:32.320
right if you're watching it go by
sitting on the couch. I'm not going

593
00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:35.480
to be down with that. I
want to be with you, cheering for

594
00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:37.519
you and helping you find ways to
get off that and get into actions,

595
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:42.320
which is why I brought Renee on. So I'm so excited about this,

596
00:40:42.360 --> 00:40:44.760
as you know, it's so important
and back in fact, my next book

597
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:46.800
that I'm now working on is about
this notion of getting into action. How

598
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:52.079
do we actually manifest our passions and
our purpose? So this is so important,

599
00:40:52.119 --> 00:40:54.320
it's just huge. And to that
end, one of the things that

600
00:40:54.360 --> 00:40:58.039
you do great in your book,
Renee, that helps us so much is

601
00:40:58.079 --> 00:41:01.760
you actually outline a change that I
think is incredibly valuable. And I like

602
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:06.400
it because it helps us understand how
and where we get stuck and how we

603
00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:08.480
get out of it. So can
you talk us through that process? Yes,

604
00:41:09.159 --> 00:41:14.559
it's called the dip. And so
anytime that you're going to be a

605
00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:19.159
beginner, which is anytime you're doing
something new, you're going to go through

606
00:41:19.239 --> 00:41:22.639
what I call the dip, which
is usually the first thirty days of doing

607
00:41:22.679 --> 00:41:29.480
anything, and it can be somewhat
painful. However, it's only temporary,

608
00:41:29.559 --> 00:41:34.039
and I love the dip because it
separates the interested from the committed. There's

609
00:41:34.039 --> 00:41:37.960
many people that are interested in having
more money, yet not committed to doing

610
00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:42.679
what it takes to get there,
or plenty of people that are interested in

611
00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:47.039
weighing less and yet they're not committed
to do the things required in order to

612
00:41:47.079 --> 00:41:51.639
get there. And so again it's
only temporary. So imagine, you know,

613
00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:53.480
if you haven't worked out in the
gym for five years and now you

614
00:41:53.519 --> 00:41:59.599
start working out again, it is
sore, it is uncomfortable, and yet

615
00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:04.159
if you do it day after day
after day, pretty soon you get through

616
00:42:04.199 --> 00:42:07.840
the thirty days of the dip and
you're on the other side more like smooth

617
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:13.599
sailing and on the way to creating
a new habit. So it's the first

618
00:42:13.639 --> 00:42:16.239
thirty days of building a new habit, and it can be rocky, and

619
00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:21.519
it can be difficult, and it
can you know, take longer time than

620
00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:25.519
some of the the kind of go
to habits that you have that you're attempting

621
00:42:25.559 --> 00:42:30.840
to course correct m. So what
I like to if you would speak a

622
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:32.559
little bit more to this Ferne is
and there's a part in that dip where

623
00:42:32.559 --> 00:42:37.000
you really do talk about the resistance, right so we have a resistance to

624
00:42:37.320 --> 00:42:39.719
that discomfort or starting this new thing. You say a little bit more about

625
00:42:39.719 --> 00:42:43.960
how that shows up for us and
how we can also persevere a little bit

626
00:42:44.280 --> 00:42:49.920
stronger through that. Well, I
mean, we're as human beings, we're

627
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:59.440
pretty committed to our comfort. So
you know, it's pretty comfortable to sit

628
00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:02.679
on the calp eating bond bonds versus
you know, training for a triathlon.

629
00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:07.480
You know, except that there's not
a lot of respect and pride and liking

630
00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:12.719
of self that comes from, you
know, sitting on the couch eating eating

631
00:43:12.760 --> 00:43:16.480
bond bonds. And so you know, to on purpose do things that stretch

632
00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:21.639
us, right, and if we're
going to get stretched, then there's gonna

633
00:43:21.679 --> 00:43:25.920
be fear present. However, nothing
really great or extraordinary happened without fear being

634
00:43:27.079 --> 00:43:30.960
present. And again, if you're
willing to take action, pretty soon you're

635
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.440
on the other side of whatever it
is it didn't kill you. You usually

636
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.840
have a big old smile on your
face with more evidence of what was not

637
00:43:37.960 --> 00:43:43.440
bigger than you. And so like
personal growth is kind of like if something

638
00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:46.840
scares you, well, let's go
do it, because then once you do

639
00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:51.559
it and realize that that wasn't bigger
than you, then what about the next

640
00:43:51.639 --> 00:43:53.519
thing? And if that's not bigger
than you, then what about the next,

641
00:43:53.559 --> 00:43:55.679
and then the next, and then
the next, and then again.

642
00:43:55.760 --> 00:44:00.159
You have piles of evidence of all
these things that we're not bigger than you.

643
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:04.639
And the more evidence that you have, the more powerful that you are

644
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:09.039
moving forward for the next obstacle,
last perfectly rendered. I love that.

645
00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:13.440
Okay now, But one of the
last things I want to talk about here,

646
00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:17.719
which I just think is is incredibly
useful and so identifiable and something we

647
00:44:17.719 --> 00:44:22.519
can all grab onto. But you
talk about this idea of being a beginner,

648
00:44:23.079 --> 00:44:25.760
and so to your point of already
what you've been speaking about there,

649
00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:30.400
you say in your book, if
you were not uncomfortable somewhere, you're not

650
00:44:30.480 --> 00:44:34.000
growing. Of course I agree with
that, And then you say, keep

651
00:44:34.039 --> 00:44:37.880
being willing to be a beginner.
It's one of the best qualities. It's

652
00:44:37.960 --> 00:44:39.920
highly underused. I completely agree with
that, And I know that you even

653
00:44:39.960 --> 00:44:44.280
devote your book to your husband and
you talk about him being a great beginner.

654
00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:46.880
Say more about this thing about being
a beginner. Well, as kids,

655
00:44:46.960 --> 00:44:50.440
we were willing to be a beginners
all the time, and we were

656
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:52.519
willing to fail over and over again, and we were willing to practice in

657
00:44:52.599 --> 00:44:55.320
order to get good at something,
in order to master something. And then

658
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:59.239
we become adults and all of a
sudden, we don't want to be beginners

659
00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:01.079
anymore, and we do something for
the first time time, and we think

660
00:45:01.119 --> 00:45:05.639
that we should be great at it
the first time, and we're not willing

661
00:45:05.679 --> 00:45:08.800
to put in the practice like we
were, you know, in growing up.

662
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:12.639
And yet you know, we're never
going to be successful at the first

663
00:45:12.679 --> 00:45:15.840
shot, and that failure is part
of the process to get to success.

664
00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:21.119
Like if you knew that you were
going to be successful on the hundredth time

665
00:45:21.159 --> 00:45:23.599
that you did something, how fast
would you get through the first one through

666
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:29.000
ninety nine of failures such that you
would be successful? And if you have

667
00:45:29.079 --> 00:45:32.440
that type of mindset right, willing
to be a beginner, willing to be

668
00:45:32.519 --> 00:45:39.679
uncomfortable, willing to practice in order
to you know, then become masterful at

669
00:45:39.760 --> 00:45:45.280
something you know is huge. You
know. I have another favorite quote that

670
00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:49.360
says, in times of change,
the learners will inherit the earth will the

671
00:45:49.480 --> 00:45:54.239
learned will be beautifully equipped for a
world that no longer exists. Remember that

672
00:45:54.320 --> 00:46:00.480
in your book, larn Offer and
I just so love that because the learn

673
00:46:00.840 --> 00:46:04.199
right within time contend, the learners
will inherit the earth. The people that

674
00:46:04.199 --> 00:46:08.840
are willing to take classes and seminars
that they're they're willing to be open to

675
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:14.199
other people's point of view, they're
willing to learn and grow, and they're

676
00:46:14.239 --> 00:46:17.119
gonna be ready for, you know, this new world. While the learned,

677
00:46:17.360 --> 00:46:22.719
you know, the people that it's
like I've been doing things this way

678
00:46:22.760 --> 00:46:25.440
for twenty years and I'm going to
continue doing and they're not flexible and they're

679
00:46:25.519 --> 00:46:30.480
not open to doing things new,
and they're going to be beautifully equipped with

680
00:46:30.519 --> 00:46:34.159
the world to no longer exists.
And so the key, you know,

681
00:46:34.280 --> 00:46:36.960
is to be a learner for life. You know, it's not like we

682
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:40.079
get to eighteen or twe whatever age
and it's like done with the learning.

683
00:46:42.039 --> 00:46:46.039
The best thing that you could do
is be committed to life long learning and

684
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:52.760
to continue to take classes and seminars
because they're for successful people. Successful people

685
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:54.440
want to know how to how to
be more, have more, how to

686
00:46:54.559 --> 00:46:59.760
live to their full potential, and
classes and workshops and seminars help us live

687
00:46:59.800 --> 00:47:04.559
to our full potential. M I
want to also reinforce what you're saying here.

688
00:47:04.800 --> 00:47:07.679
Another woman had on my show last
fall, a Rachel Stewart wrote a

689
00:47:07.679 --> 00:47:09.920
book called Unqualified Success, And essentially
what she's saying is, every time we

690
00:47:09.960 --> 00:47:14.960
go to something new, we feel
unqualified and are unqualified to take that in

691
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.079
new role because we haven't done it
before. We're a beginner. And she

692
00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:21.639
talks also about you know, really
using fear as our allied. It's right

693
00:47:21.639 --> 00:47:22.960
there in the in the seat with
our arm around it. It's coming with

694
00:47:23.039 --> 00:47:27.320
us, but it's it's coming along. We're unqualified, but we pushed through

695
00:47:27.320 --> 00:47:30.559
it anyway. And I think it's
just such an important message. And I

696
00:47:30.599 --> 00:47:32.039
know it's uncomfortable, ladies and gentlemen, I know it is. That's so

697
00:47:32.119 --> 00:47:37.199
worth it. So here we are
Renee. We managed to talk through almost

698
00:47:37.199 --> 00:47:39.800
a whole entire hour together. It
goes so fast. You know, the

699
00:47:39.880 --> 00:47:44.599
show is listened to by people across
the world. And then we're out to

700
00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:49.519
create workplaces where people can thrive and
inspirational leaders make a difference in how we

701
00:47:49.519 --> 00:47:52.440
experience our work and how we do
business. What would you like to leave

702
00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:55.199
our listeners with? Well, one
of the things I talk about in my

703
00:47:55.199 --> 00:48:00.199
book is to be selfish about your
self esteem and that kind of some people

704
00:48:00.199 --> 00:48:06.159
are like selfish about yourself, meaning
that your self esteem is your number one

705
00:48:06.280 --> 00:48:09.320
priority, that your barometer. Like
you start looking at if I do X,

706
00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:13.760
is it going to increase my self
esteem or decrease my self esteem?

707
00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:16.880
And you use the answer to that
question as your barometer of whether to move

708
00:48:16.920 --> 00:48:21.199
forward or not. And some of
the best ways in order to increase self

709
00:48:21.280 --> 00:48:25.119
esteem are things that nobody knows about, like secrets with the universe or secrets

710
00:48:25.159 --> 00:48:30.159
with God. And so I would
encourage you to be secretly incredible, you

711
00:48:30.159 --> 00:48:34.679
know, like doing random acts of
kindness or you know, tithing money that

712
00:48:34.719 --> 00:48:37.800
nobody knows that you tied. It's
like you look at yourself in them irror

713
00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:42.559
different because you have pride for yourself
and respect and that you like yourself.

714
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:47.199
And so there's things that you can
add into your calendar on purpose to like

715
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:51.360
yourself more. You can make a
list of here's what I do, here's

716
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:54.119
when I do these things, I
like myself more, and then you incorporate

717
00:48:54.159 --> 00:48:59.599
them into the schedule versus I hope
I happen upon one of those things every

718
00:48:59.599 --> 00:49:02.679
once in a while. And so
remember that your self esteem is one hundred

719
00:49:02.679 --> 00:49:07.000
percent and your control through the small
stuff, through the things that we do

720
00:49:07.119 --> 00:49:10.039
or don't do on a daily basis. And so you can start today to

721
00:49:10.159 --> 00:49:15.440
improve your self esteem. However,
remember to be consistent. If you're going

722
00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:16.760
to start like get the second day, in the third day, and the

723
00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:19.639
fourth day, and pretty soon you've
got a new habit. Go on.

724
00:49:20.360 --> 00:49:22.639
I love it, Renee. Great
way to finish. Thank you so much

725
00:49:22.679 --> 00:49:24.400
for sharing your heart, your soul, your mind, everything with us today.

726
00:49:24.440 --> 00:49:28.119
I loved it. Thank you,
Thank you so much. I had

727
00:49:28.119 --> 00:49:30.320
a great time as well, awesome
listeners and viewers. You want to learn

728
00:49:30.360 --> 00:49:35.159
more about Renee Sermach and the work
she does with self esteem and personal transformation

729
00:49:35.239 --> 00:49:37.719
or her book, start by going
to her personal website. It's Renee Sirmac

730
00:49:37.760 --> 00:49:42.440
dot com. Let me spell that
for you, it's r E N E

731
00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:46.679
and then C R M A K
Renee sermac dot com. Last week,

732
00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:50.800
if you missed the live show you
Know Sketchy be recorded podcast. We are

733
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:53.000
on Near with John Baker, who's
the CEO of D two L which stands

734
00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:57.960
for a Desire to Learn, talking
about the importance and role of continual education

735
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:01.159
and development in today's rapidly evolving market
place and workforce. Next week, we'll

736
00:50:01.199 --> 00:50:05.000
be on the air with Dan Berger, who's the president and CEO of the

737
00:50:05.079 --> 00:50:08.440
National Association of Federally Insured Credit Unions, talking about the importance of servant leadership

738
00:50:08.559 --> 00:50:13.119
and keeping employees safe during the pandemic. See you there, Remember that works

739
00:50:13.159 --> 00:50:20.760
at least a third of our lives. So let's work on purpose. We

740
00:50:20.880 --> 00:50:24.159
hope you've enjoyed this week's program.
Be sure to tune into Working on Purpose,

741
00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:29.679
featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortez, each week on the Voice America

742
00:50:29.760 --> 00:50:36.599
Empowerment Channel. Together, we'll create
a world where business operates conscientiously, leadership

743
00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:42.239
inspires impassioned performance, and employees are
fulfilled in work that provides the meaning and

744
00:50:42.280 --> 00:50:45.719
purpose they crave. See you there, Let's work on Purpose.