Need Help Activating Your Own Greatness?

WEBVTT

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to

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the Working in a Purpose Show.
Thank you tuning again this week. I'm

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your host, Elise Cortes, joining
you live from Dallas, Texas, which

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is home base for me. We've
been showing it in for a while.

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You know, thou programs about how
people create more meaningful and productive personal and

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work lives and equipping leaders inside organizations
to cultivate meaning and purpose that elicit's passion

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inspired contribution, innovation, and persevering
performance. I talk with my guests to

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draw on their expertise and share my
own experienced consultings, speaking and developing work

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forces across the globe. Every week. In these conversations, I hope you

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walk away with something you can immediately
put to use in your life, and

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you come a lot with the possibility
of living with passion, working on purpose,

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and are inspired to discovering herself.
Just how big, fulfilling your life

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and work and leadership can be.
And if you do catch fire for everything

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you hear, tell me about it. Email me at Las Cortes at lascortest

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dot com or contact me on my
website and you'll be able to connect me.

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Be my messaging. That way,
if you want to be able to

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talk to me about my speaking,
my programs, my online leadership programs,

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my retreats, that's the way to
find me anyway. I'm glad we're connected.

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Thanks for listening. This week with
Us is doctor Cynthia Mickens Ross.

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She is right next to me.
She is a speaker, coach, and

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author. She infuses her audiences with
authenticity, humor, and powerful words of

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wisdom that are thought provoking and life
changing. She speaks rarely on leadership,

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discovering your purpose, breaking negative mindsets
to release her authentic you, how to

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make your life count. She's the
author of the book Pathway to Purpose,

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Stories of Victory focus based on the
graduates of her copyrighted course Pathway to Purpose.

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You know Us Today from Dallas right
next to me, Cynthia, welcome

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to working on Purpose. Thank you. I have better be here. I

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found you right wood. I found
you minding your own business. We were

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both in a session at the Fat
Reserve Bank looking at how to uplift and

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grow humanity economically, financially, and
many other means. And unbeknownst to you,

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I had heard about you from Ashley
Lindsay and she said you've got to

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go meet her, go talk to
her. And I saw you, and

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I saw what you were up to. I'm like, you've got to come

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on my show. So here you
are right next to me on my show.

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We are actually on Facebook livestream as
well. So as we get into

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our conversation, first it's important to
know who you are. So what's your

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background? How'd you get in out
of the space. So you know,

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that's always a very tough question because
most of the time when people ask you

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who are you, they're really asking
what have you done? What are you

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doing? So? And so who
I am is a lot about what I've

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done. Yes, absolutely, And
I started my professional career with an airline

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that I will tell you will date
me, Pan American World Airways. And

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yes, I am that old okay, okay, got it. And you

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know, flying all over the world
really had an impact on my life because

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I had lived a very sheltered life
up until that point. Where'd you go,

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Miami? But I was a daddy's
girl, and so daddy kind of

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kept me in that little box and
protected me. And Mom had died when

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I was four and a half years
old, and so growing up with this

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father who thought I was the best
thing walking and just treated me that way.

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And then I become this flight attendant
and I'm traveling all over the world

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and I'm meeting all of these different
people and learning about their culture, and

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if I tell you, it was
a life changing experience. And so I

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was with pan Am up until the
day they closed the doors, which was

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in December of nineteen ninety one.
And at that point, you know,

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I really wasn't sure what I was
going to do next. I didn't have

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any plans. You know, I
knew it was coming, you know,

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there had been a lot of talk
about the airline going bankrupt, and so

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I knew it was coming, but
I hadn't really given a whole lot of

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thought to what I would do next. And so I was in this course.

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It's called Bible Study Fellowship and it's
all over the world and I'm sure

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you probably heard of it. And
so I was in my small group session

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and I was telling them that I
was looking for employment, and unbeknowing to

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me, one of the members in
my class said, hey, she said,

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I've I work for Stuard Enterprise in
the death care industry. And I

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went death care industry. She said, yes, she says, I work

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helping people with their cemetery and funeral
needs. And I was thinking, no,

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that's not quite what I had and
right, so, you know,

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but I went home and I kind
of thought about it, and she said,

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you know, we have two positions
open. We have one that's dealing

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with inside sales and one that's outside
sales. And I kind of thought about

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it. I said, you know, I don't really understand sales that much.

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And so just long stir short,
I went in for an interview,

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got the job. They offered me
both. They offered me inside and outside,

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and I could choose. So I
chose inside sales because I didn't have

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any background in sales, and in
a matter of four years, I was

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offered the vice president and general manager
position. Where I actually had the responsibility

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of both operations and sales. They
had not done that before with this company,

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and Stewart Enterprises at the time was
the third largest company in the world

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or the United States, I can't
remember, in the death care industry.

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And so I was the first of
promotion into this arena. And so I

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took on funeral homes and I took
on cemeteries with operations, and it was

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just very profitable for me, made
a lot of money. And then I

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kind of thought, you know what, I've exceeded every single goal that they

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gave me, I exceeded it.
And so I was wanting more. I

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really wanted to do more with my
life, and so I started talking with

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those who were above me about what
could I do next? You know,

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what was going to be my next
promotion. And obviously I had already achieved

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at a level that no one else
had done before. So I was really

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looking and they told me, you
know that, you know that phrase,

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You've reached the glass ceiling. Know
what, we have nothing else for you.

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You can go now. Yeah,
And you know that was tough because

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I had sacrificed so much to be
highly successful in this arena. And you

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know, I had made a lot
of money. House on the Hill,

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foreign car, diamonds, Saint John's
or Alexis just all the stuff. But

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what I was really looking for was
this feeling of significance, this feeling of

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value, this feeling that I really
matter, And no amount of achievements,

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no title, no car, no
house could make me feel that. So

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I kind of went on this journey
of self discovery. I started asking the

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question who am I and why am
I here? And that started me on

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the journey I'm on today. Oh
my god, you know we were supposed

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to meet, right, Okay,
two things. First, thank you Daddy

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for loving you the way that he
did and seeing you the way that he

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did. Thank you Daddy gave you
all dads out there listeners. You have

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such an opportunity to make a difference
in your little girl's world by loving her

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the way that her dad loved her. Please, dads, it's just so

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so important. I can't even tell
you how important this issir th Yes.

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The second thing is, I think
it's remarkable that we are connected and you

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started your path really helping in the
death industry, and today you're in the

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inspiration space. I know, those
two spaces are connected. They are Can

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you bridge that for us inspiration?
You know? So? So for me,

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the death care industry was not about
the person in the casket, got

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it. Oh? Yes, it
was about the people that had lost their

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loved wine and I got to be
a part of their caretaker. I got

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to be a part of their life
when they had lost somebody that was very

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dear to them. And for me, I never took that for granted.

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And I always tried to teach each
family and show them how much they mean

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to me. You know. I
always tried to share with them as much

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knowledge about this process as possible,
but I just wanted them to know that

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they weren't alone and that they had
met somebody who genuinely cared. And so

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all of what I've done in my
life, I believe has been about making

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an impact in the life of somebody
else. Okay, since service, Cynthia,

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you know again, you don't know
this, but my mother died January

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third. My father followed her out
twenty eight days on January thirty first.

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So I gave my first and second
eulogy, wrote my first and second obituary.

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Wow, and I understand better the
connection between life and death better.

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So I know what you're saying a
little bit better now, and I'm bigger

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for it. And I understand what
it is to be in service of those

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who have been left behind and who
are sad and wanting and don't understand.

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I better understand that now, And
I think that my message is better because

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I've been in that space, and
so now I understand you better. So

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here we are today, both you
and I stand in the space of inspiring,

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encouraging others. That's what that's what
we speak for, that's what we

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exist for. Why do you think
that's so important? Well, you know,

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I don't think that we I don't
think that the world was designed for

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us to take these solo journeys.
I think that we need each other in

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order to be the best that we
can be. I believe that you need

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me in some places of your life, and I need you in some places

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of my life. And if I
don't have you, I have this void

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that is needed in my life.
And so I think that we're interconnected.

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Maybe we don't talk about that as
much as we should, but I believe

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that there are people assigned to you
to help you fulfill the plans of your

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life. There are people assigned to
me to help me fulfill the plans of

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my life. Just for example,
this morning I told Chris Howell. I

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said, Chris, how are you
going to live a long time? And

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he says why? I said,
because I was thinking about you this morning,

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and I was going to call you
about this radio show that I have

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to do this evening, or that
I don't know any thing about how to

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set it all up and skype in. And I said, you know,

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but I know, you know,
I got to do that, you know.

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And the next thing, Chris said
to me, why don't you just

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come to my office and let me
host you all? I needed him,

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right, It's so much better.
So I could have if Chris wasn't there,

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and if Chris didn't lend himself to
support what I'm doing today, then

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I could have struggled through that probably
fell on my face and not have come

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through at the professional level that I
really want to. But I had Chris.

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Chris made the difference in my life
today, as you have made the

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difference in my life today. We
need each other to fulfill the plans and

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the purpose that we are here to
accomplish. We are interconnected. There are

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people that you need in order for
you to fulfill the plans the level that

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you're supposed to. So I know, without a shadover down that I'm here

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to sew seeds into the lives of
other people, and I know that there

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are other people who are assigned to
sew seeds into my life, and together

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we will do what we have been
called. Okay, you are the first

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person in two hundred and fifteen episodes
to say it like that. Do you

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understand that you are the first person
to understand and say the interconnectivity of all

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of us and how we each need
each other to fulfill what we're here to

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do. You're the first person to
do that. Wow, Okay, So

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thank you for that. And I
think that's absolutely beautiful because the reason I

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do this show every single week,
whether you know I'm ready to or not,

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is because I do think we need
each other. We have to and

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I need my audiences. I need
Yes, yes, yes, it's amazing.

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And so we're watching people coming in
here. We're doing a Facebook live

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stream, and thank you very much
for Tony Yriz, Yavin Fisher, thank

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you, thank you so much for
joining us. It's great to have you.

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It's amazing. Can I say,
who's watching on my Facebook life?

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Michael her, former mayor of Desoto's
watching Christina Hickson and she is married to

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the fire chief of Hutchins. So
look at that, Look at those people.

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I thank you for being part of
this conversation. It's important. We're

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all connected. To Cynthia's point,
we're all connected. We need each other

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and we're into the space because we
need that energy. So thank you for

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being here. Is we're going to
get something out of this. So now

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here's what I find really interesting about
you. You say something like that,

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the interconnectivity, the purposeful connection of
that. Then a layer over how important

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humor is to you? Tell me
why humor works so well for you.

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Well, let me tell you it
is not rocket science, but it is

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a science, okay. And that
is is that when we laugh, there

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are endoorphins that are most in our
bodies, that are healing, that are

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healing ages. So if you are
burdened down with something, if you just

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set aside twenty minutes of your day, watch something on television, listen to

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something on the radio, or on
YouTube or whatever, and get that laughter

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going, it will brighten up your
date. It will lift depression off of

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your life if you understand that your
body has been created to heal itself.

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There's a lot of things about our
bodies that we don't even understand, but

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laughter, spending time with people you
like to be around, is healing to

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you. So I love it when
i can make you laugh because I know

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that I'm gonna laugh with you,
and together we are gonna heal our bodies

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in certain areas of our bodies.
And so laughter, to me is so

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much better than anger. Yeah,
so much better from then taking on those

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weights that weigh us down, those
negative thoughts, you know, those ill

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spoken words. So you can choose
laughter. You can choose that negative and

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we'll choose later. Laughter makes you
feel good and it makes people around you

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feel good. Have you ever been
around somebody who's laughing all the time and

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you can stay angry and you can
say no, you got to join into

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that laughter, and together you can
change the atmosphere of your surrount. I

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completely agree. And I think about
how I first approached you at the event.

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You had no idea who I was, but I know who you were,

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and I was making a bline for
you and you were like, Okay,

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who's that? What is that?
But I had an agenda and I

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was enjoying the whole experience because I
knew what the endgame was that you're going

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to be here with me and talking
about what you're up to your life and

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impacting people across the globe. And
with that, let's take our first break.

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Okay, all right, I'm your
host, Elise Cortez. We're in

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the air with doctor Cynthia Mickens Ross. She's a speaker, coach and author.

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She's also the author of the book
Pathway to Purpose, Stories of Victory.

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This book is based on the graduates
of her corporated course, Pathway to

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Purpose. Join us with me today
here in Dallas. We're talking about how

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she got into the space and why
what she's doing manners to the world.

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Stay with us, We'll be right
back. Alise Cortes is a speaker and

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engagement and development catalyst. She designs
and delivers professional development, leadership and engagement

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workshops and can bring her expertise to
your organization. She will help ignite meaningful

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development within your workforce that will increase
employee engagement, performance and retention to learn

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more or to invite Elise to speak
to your organization. Please visit her at

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www dot Elisecortes dot com. She
would welcome the opportunity to help get your

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employees working on purpose. This is
working on Purpose with Elise Cortes. To

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reach our program today, send an
email to a lease Alise at a Lascortes

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dot com. Now back to working
on purpose. Before we come back,

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let me acknowledge another person's come into
the Facebook livestream, Carmen Coortes. She

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is my beloved mother in law.
Thank you Carmen for joining us. Beautiful

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woman that she is. I am
a Elas Cortes, your host when you're

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with doctor Cynthia Mickens Ross. She
is a speaker, coach, and author.

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She infuses her audience with authenticity,
humor, and powerful words of wisdom

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that are thought provoking in life changing. She speaks regularly on leadership, describing

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your purpose, breaking negative mindsets to
release the authentic view, and how to

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make life count. She's the author
of book of the book Pathway to Purpose,

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Stories to Victory. Just bookus based
on the graduates of her corporated course

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Pathway to Purpose. I'm your host
at least Cortes and we are having so

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much fun on Facebook here and in
a conversation live right next to me.

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I love it. So one of
the things that you talk about in your

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talks which is very near and dear
to my heart as well, and I

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talk about it as well as you
talk about don't let your life make you

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bitter, make it better. So
I got to imagine this is about overcoming

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challenges, adversity, etc. So
what is this talk about. Why is

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it important to you? Well,
you know, no one is exempt from

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the challenges of life, right.
We all have found ourselves in situation,

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either through our own efforts or decisions, or we found ourselves in situations and

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we don't really know how we got
there, but it's there. And so

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for me, I have a laundry
list of those situations my life idea.

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No, let me tell you.
I always tell people I'm not going in

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your crazy closet. Don't go in
my crazy closet, Okay, because I

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don't. I'm not trying to find
out what you have done wrong in your

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life. I want to know what
are we going to do now? But

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I believe that every situation that we
encounter, the ones that hurt us in

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the deepest place is there to make
us better and stronger. The things that

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I have gone through in my life, from loving somebody who didn't love me

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back, okay, giving so much
to a company, a corporate job,

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and then being told you've reached the
glass ceiling. You can go and you

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can spiral downhill from that. Or
it is going after something and giving it

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all you got and still you don't
get it. You know, I have

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gone through losing all of my money. My bank account went from six feis

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to zero. Okay, okay,
so okay. So there are so many

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things that have happened in my life
that could have destroyed me, could have

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made me better, could have made
me throw my hands up and say I

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give in. I'm just gonna you
know, I'm just gonna be done with

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this thing called life. Right,
because we've all felt that at some point.

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Don't tell me that in the sixty
plus years I've lived on this earth

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that I haven't had a thought about
ending it at one time or another.

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Wow, Yeah, okay, But
I kept going, and I kept believing

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that there was something better on the
other side of that situation. And because

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I did, I saw what was
in it for me. And many a

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times, I'll give you another situation
because I like to give practical examples.

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I was married to some that I
loved dearly, okay, that I thought

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the world of but they didn't know
how to love me back. And it

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really wasn't their fault. Now,
I chose this person too, Okay.

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So in the difficult of times in
that marriage, I would be riding around

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in my vehicle all night long because
I was scared to go home. I

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was afraid. I had so much
fear that my life might end in this

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marriage. Oh my goodness, how
bad it was. And it was doing

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one of those nights that I heard, You're gonna have poemes for women who

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need a safe place to live.
Okay, see see see Now I could

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have been bitter about that whole situation, But do you know, when that

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situation was over and I was safe
and out of it, I heard that

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again. You know those two houses
shoes have, those houses are going to

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be for women who need a safe, peaceful place to live. So instead

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of allowing what had happened to me
to make me better, I allowed it

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to make me better. So today
I have this residential housing program that women

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can come live in with their children
until they can get back on their feet

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and get back to doing what they
were created to do. That's a great

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example of how life can make you
bitter if you allow it to, or

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life can make you better if you
allow it to get out of it what

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you need to get out of it
so that you can be better. I'm

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a better person today because of all
of those situations. They have really and

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truly purified this person that you see
right here today because my motives now pure.

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I'm clear about what I'm supposed to
be doing in my life, and

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all of those things have worked together
to get me where I am today.

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So don't despise those things. Get
out of what you need to get out

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of it so that you can be
a better person for the rest of your

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life. Okay, I get all
that on a you know, conceptual basis.

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But for our audiences out there going, oh my gosh. By the

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way, Hi, Susan faveall,
thanks for joining in, they're going,

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Okay, that sounds really interesting and
really amazing. What happens with life punches

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me in the gut and I don't
know how to do this. I mean,

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I just lost my dad and my
brother, and my sister and my

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child, and my boss just fired
me for my favorite job and hold on,

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you want me to do what well? So how do you give them

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access to that mindset? So let
me say this to you. You can.

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You can. You have some decisions
to make. You always have choices,

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right, there are things that are
going to happen. If you lost

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your loved one, that wasn't anything
you could contry. Who was it?

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No, Okay, it just happened. Just happened for me in January.

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Perhaps it happened for you. So
guess what. Instead of you saying that

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I don't know why this is all
happening to me, you can reflect on

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the great things that you experience in
those relationships with mom and with that,

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what was the impact they made in
your life? How did they how did

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what they do get you where you
are today? And what can you now

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take from that and make an even
greater impact in the world. I'm not

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saying you don't hurt. I'm not
saying you don't grieve the loss. But

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what I'm saying to you you can
reflect on the loss and there's nothing you

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can do about that, and spend
more time on the loss or you can

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spend time on what being grateful,
having that spirit of I'm grateful for mom

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and dad, and reflect on what
did mom and dad deposit in you that

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makes you the woman that you are
today, and then how can you take

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that and make a greater impact in
the world. We are all going to

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have those feelings of hurt and pain
and loss. We're going to all have

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those feelings of anger. We're going
to always have those feelings of revenge.

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I want to get that person back
who did what they did to me.

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But don't stay there. That's all
I'm saying. Don't stay there. Take

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the time to feel what you feel. Don't deny what you feel. Okay,

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right, don't deny it, but
don't get stuck there. Don't let

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it chain you to the dock of
being angry for the rest of your life

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or for grieving for the rest of
your life. You see what I'm saying,

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totally do and I want to come
out of that. Before you do,

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let's acknowledge couple of word guests that
came in for I'll go first,

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So Debbie Martin Gillen is my sister, Hibbie Hiday. I think it is

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00:26:57.680 --> 00:27:00.920
thank you for joining us. Well, thanks for joining us and for you

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00:27:00.920 --> 00:27:07.079
your side. Who's coming in Carolyn
in DeSoto? Joe Johnson or John Johnson?

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Hey John not Finn? Yeah,
and a couple other people. I

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00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.119
can't see your names, but hey, just send me a message. If

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00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:18.400
you have a question, please just
type it out and we'll be happy to

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00:27:18.440 --> 00:27:21.119
answer it. Weigh in. Okay, So a couple things to what you

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said. My mother died January third, and that was expected for the most

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part. She was ready to heat, her bags packed, she had fuel

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00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:32.200
in her tank, she was ready
to move on. My father joined her

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twenty eight days later, on January
thirty first, really of a broken heart.

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That was less expected. Yes,
But what I will tell you to

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your point is they gave me something
when they left. They made me bigger.

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They gave me gratitude for what they
taught me in the life that they

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get. They gave me Cynthia.
My life was in many ways of fairy

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tale. When my father married my
mother when I was in second grade.

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It was a fairy tale. And
my life would have been so different had

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they not got together. And I
know that, so I carry that with

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me as they both have left now
and I've given both of their eulogies,

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written both of their orbituaries. I
know what a gift it'spent, and so

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I do stand in that place.
I don't know where that came from.

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For me, it just was automatic. But I want to be able to

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make sure that our listeners get from
what you're saying. How do we access

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that space of gratitude? How do
we get there when life really beats us

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down? It's to me, it's
a simple choice. Life. Life is

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going to throw you curve balls.
You can't get away from it. Nobody's

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exempt from that. So the only
thing I'm saying is simply this. When

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life does that to you, remember
I have a choice. I can choose

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to let it beat me down till
I'm nothing and I don't feel like nothing,

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and I feel useless, and you
know, I just have this negative

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image about myself and life and people. You can say, you know what,

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I don't know why that happened to
me, but I know this,

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I can choose today that I am
going to go through this and I am

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going to be strong on the other
side because I'm not going to give up.

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If you keep showing up every day, just keep showing up. Don't

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give up on having a better life. Don't give up on getting past that

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00:29:26.599 --> 00:29:30.400
situation. You know what, find
people who have done it. That's another

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00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:37.200
great way is to surround yourself with
a support system of people. If it's

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00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:41.319
a divorce, you know, you
can join a support group of divorces,

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00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:45.640
you know, if it's somebody who
you know. There's a lot of grief

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00:29:45.720 --> 00:29:52.160
support groups now. But also for
me, I just joined around my girlfriends

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00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:56.440
who helped me, who kept speaking
good things to me and telling me,

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00:29:56.559 --> 00:30:00.599
Cynthia, You're going to be okay. We you You're a fighter. You

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00:30:00.640 --> 00:30:06.319
know you can make it through this. And all I'm saying is that if

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00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:11.000
you want to be successful, surround
yourself with successful people. Agreed. And

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00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:15.119
if you want to get on the
other side of a difficult situation, get

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00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:21.359
you some people who have gotten through
it. Surround yourself with some people who

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00:30:21.400 --> 00:30:26.240
have made it through it so they
can encourage you. Because you again,

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00:30:26.359 --> 00:30:30.440
let's go back to what we started
out on. You were not made to

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00:30:30.519 --> 00:30:34.119
live this life alone. There are
people who are signed to help you get

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00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:40.359
where you're supposed to be. So
you have got to look around you and

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00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:45.160
see them. Who are the people
that I know can help me get on

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00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:51.680
the other side of this situation.
Don't isolate yourself because you'll never get through

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00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:56.039
it if you isolate yourself, because
all's going to happen is it's going to

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00:30:56.079 --> 00:31:00.680
be more negativity, more negativity,
more negativity that comes in isolation is never

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00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:06.680
a good place to be. We
need people around us who care about us.

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00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:10.480
It can help us to get on
the other side of our situations.

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Yes, And what I want to
also say about that for our listeners and

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00:31:14.119 --> 00:31:18.680
people that are watching on Facebook Live, they come in the most unlikely sources.

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00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:22.880
For example, I just had lunch
today with Jonathan. Jonathan I meant

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00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:25.720
two weeks ago, and I was
speaking at an engagement and I was running

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00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:29.319
for the elevator to get back to
my car for the next engagement, and

400
00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:32.480
he wheels up and he's got like
this kind of a wheelchair thing going on,

401
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:36.200
and we just have this instant connection
and I'm like, who are you?

402
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:38.240
What are you doing in that chair? Why aren't you walking? And

403
00:31:38.279 --> 00:31:44.079
we talk and we immediately say,
let's let's grab lunch and figure out who

404
00:31:44.200 --> 00:31:47.480
you are, what you're doing,
et cetera. Right, And there's kissing

405
00:31:47.519 --> 00:31:51.279
it in that there's energy in that
it's everywhere. I just have to look

406
00:31:51.319 --> 00:31:53.759
for it and be pressed into us
right and be like you said, be

407
00:31:55.000 --> 00:32:00.000
open to it and pay attention to
your surrounds. Absolutely, don't walk through

408
00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:05.839
real life with blinders on, because
you will miss the gifts that are there

409
00:32:05.960 --> 00:32:08.000
for you. You're running, get
your coming on time, you missed the

410
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:14.839
gaint, yes, So just take
seconds and look around you, because it's

411
00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:19.240
like today when I was coming up
here and I had my little you know,

412
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:22.279
I had two little my little pop
up charts with me and I had

413
00:32:22.359 --> 00:32:27.160
my books in my hand, and
this one gentleman in a really nice suit

414
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:30.119
and everything, he kind of ran
and got the elevator from me and said,

415
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:34.480
what floor are you going to?
And he pushed the bunnies. I've

416
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:39.240
got you and see I hadn't never
met the man before. But if you,

417
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:43.680
but if you, but if you're
open, you will draw it to

418
00:32:43.799 --> 00:32:49.240
you. You will draw it.
You'll have everything you need in life.

419
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:52.720
It's not going to ever be a
perfect life. Nobody has one. So

420
00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:57.599
if you think you do, I'm
telling you that just doesn't exist. But

421
00:32:57.640 --> 00:33:02.039
there are people who are out here
that can help you at every stage of

422
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:07.079
your life no matter where you are, if you will, if you will,

423
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:08.359
just be open well and to then
and we're going to go into our

424
00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:12.480
next break. But let me also
acknowledge Erica Jacobi, who's been on my

425
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:15.759
radio show. Erica, Hello from
New York. Derek Lipscomb, who is

426
00:33:15.799 --> 00:33:19.680
a dear friend from Dallas. Thanks
for joining us this afternoon. Cynthy,

427
00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:22.559
who do you have on? Marty
Martin? Hey, Marty, my friend.

428
00:33:23.359 --> 00:33:27.960
Guys. I'm so glad you're here. Marty brilliant and Marty you should

429
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:32.559
be saying Amen, girl, Amen, girls. All right, our second

430
00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:36.039
break. I'm your host, Elise
Cortez. We ru in the earth Doctor

431
00:33:36.039 --> 00:33:38.400
Cynthia Mickens Ross. She is a
speaker, coach and author. She's the

432
00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:43.119
author of the book Pathway to Purpose, Stories of Victory. This book is

433
00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:45.759
based on the graduates of a corporated
course, Pathway to Purpose. Join us

434
00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:49.200
today from Dallas, Texas. Right
next to me here in an office.

435
00:33:49.240 --> 00:34:01.000
We'll be right back. Stay with
us. Alise Cortes is a speaker and

436
00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:07.119
engagement and development catalyst. She designs
and delivers professional development, leadership and engagement

437
00:34:07.159 --> 00:34:12.960
workshops and can bring her expertise to
your organization. She will help ignite meaningful

438
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:17.400
development within your workforce that will increase
employee engagement, performance and retention. To

439
00:34:17.480 --> 00:34:22.400
learn more or to invite Elise to
speak to your organization, please visit her

440
00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:28.119
at www dot Elisecortes dot com.
She would welcome the opportunity to help get

441
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:37.480
your employees working on purpose. This
is working on Purpose with Elise Cortes.

442
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:45.119
To reach our program today, send
an email to a lease Alise at Alisecortes

443
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:55.719
dot com. Now back to working
on purpose. Thanks for staying with us,

444
00:34:55.719 --> 00:35:00.119
and welcome back to working on purpose. Cynthia's laughing next to me and

445
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:02.519
sign. My guest is doctor Cynthia
mickens Ross. She's right next to me.

446
00:35:02.599 --> 00:35:06.960
She is a speaker, coach,
and author. She infuses her audiences

447
00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:09.760
with authenticity, humor, and impowerful
words of wisdom that are thought provoking in

448
00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:14.920
life changing. She speaks regularly on
leadership, discovering your purpose, breaking negative

449
00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:16.920
mind that's to release the authentic queue, and how to make life count.

450
00:35:17.159 --> 00:35:21.679
She's the author of the book called
Pathway to Purpose, Stories of Victory.

451
00:35:21.880 --> 00:35:24.360
This book is based on the graduates
of her cooperated course Pathway to Purpose.

452
00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:29.239
I'm your host, Alice Cortes.
We are here live also on Facebook,

453
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:32.320
live together, right next to each
other here in Dallas, Texas. So

454
00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:36.679
to continue the conversation, I wanted
to ask Cynthia about some of the things

455
00:35:36.679 --> 00:35:39.199
that she shares with her audiences.
And she has this really intriguing topic that

456
00:35:39.239 --> 00:35:43.639
I've really never heard of, and
she calls it currency of life. What's

457
00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:47.599
your ROI fascinating idea. What does
that talk about? So? I believe

458
00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:53.320
that currency is the things that we
span right, So it is it is

459
00:35:53.519 --> 00:36:00.239
what we spend in life. So
if I spend my time on, no

460
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:05.280
matter what it is, I'm going
to get a return on that investment.

461
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:07.679
So if I spend my time being
negative, I guess what I'm going to

462
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:14.840
get an abundance of negativity. If
I spend my time on just pouring love

463
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:17.920
into the people I meet and the
people around me, guess what I'm going

464
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:24.159
to get back? More love?
Right? If I spend my time impacting

465
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:29.280
the lives of people, which is
what I do, right, then I

466
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:36.599
now have a laundry list of people
that I have shared my life with,

467
00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:42.719
right and now they become a part
of the return on my investment. So

468
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:46.920
I don't know how many circle of
people that you have around you that you're

469
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:52.119
helping through your radio show. Right. You're investing your time into this radio

470
00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:58.039
show, right, So this radio
show is now impacting the lives of people.

471
00:36:58.199 --> 00:37:01.840
Right, So what is the return
on this investment? Those people's lives

472
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:08.400
are now changed because of what you
have invested your time, that you have

473
00:37:08.519 --> 00:37:14.280
invested in your resources, that you
have invested in bringing me as a part

474
00:37:14.440 --> 00:37:20.039
of your circle. Right now,
you are now pouring more and more into

475
00:37:20.159 --> 00:37:25.000
people's lives, and which means that
you now will have more and more of

476
00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:30.280
what you need in your life.
So the return on our investments is and

477
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:36.519
there's a I'm going to give it
to you like this, Whatever seeds you

478
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:43.400
sow, you get a harvest.
So if you sow a seed of being

479
00:37:43.960 --> 00:37:50.039
a person that is committed to impacting
the lives of other people, guess what

480
00:37:50.199 --> 00:37:54.079
happens for you? You get more
and more people who come alongside you that

481
00:37:54.400 --> 00:38:00.719
wants to help to impact your life
or to help you to achieve what you're

482
00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:04.440
supposed to be achieved. So when
you come up to me and you ask

483
00:38:04.599 --> 00:38:09.039
me, Cynthia, would you give
of your time freely to come on my

484
00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:14.599
radio talk show. What did Cynthia
do? She said, yeah, you

485
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:20.119
know why, because you are now
getting a return on your investment because you

486
00:38:20.199 --> 00:38:25.239
have sown enough seeds out here to
help people that when you want additional help

487
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:30.199
to fulfill what you're doing, it
is available to you. No accidents.

488
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:35.239
You met me at the right time. I'm on your show at the right

489
00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:39.119
date. Right, I'm talking about
the right things that the audience needs to

490
00:38:39.199 --> 00:38:46.039
hear. And that's all a part
of our ROI the return on our investments.

491
00:38:46.199 --> 00:38:51.960
I always tell people you can never
give without receiving. Whatever it is

492
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:58.800
that you want more of your life, give more of it, give more

493
00:38:58.840 --> 00:39:04.679
of it. You will get a
return on that investment. Just make sure

494
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:10.559
that whatever you're giving out is what
you want back. Because if you're giving

495
00:39:10.639 --> 00:39:15.800
God right, because if you're giving
negativity out, guess what you're gonna get.

496
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:22.320
Right. If you are not a
person of integrity, guess what you're

497
00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:24.639
gonna get. You're gonna get that
back. Just wait on it because it's

498
00:39:24.679 --> 00:39:30.639
coming. Okay. So don't sew
things, don't put things out, don't

499
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:36.599
spend anything that you don't want to
return on, because you do get back

500
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:40.920
whatever you put out. But you
get it back at greater measures. You

501
00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:45.920
don't get it back at the same
measure that you put it out right,

502
00:39:45.559 --> 00:39:51.679
you get it back. It's like
planting one orange seed. You're not going

503
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:55.119
to get one orange back, are
you right? Right? So whatever seeds,

504
00:39:55.239 --> 00:40:02.159
whatever things that we're spent spinning planting, just remember there's an ROI on

505
00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:07.920
that you will get it back and
whatever you want more of in your life,

506
00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:15.320
so planned spend more of that because
the return will come. Okay,

507
00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:19.519
So invest wisely. I love that. Okay, So we're already almost out

508
00:40:19.559 --> 00:40:22.119
of the time on the show.
It's it's one really important thing I want

509
00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:25.000
to talk about that I think is
so so important because I know that most

510
00:40:25.039 --> 00:40:31.000
of us are governed by fear versus
love and possibility. And so you have

511
00:40:31.119 --> 00:40:35.639
this talk about what's your if and
if it's defined by that thing or things

512
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:37.840
that you would do if what you
had the time, the money, the

513
00:40:37.880 --> 00:40:43.559
possibility to space, whatever it was. What is this if thing that you

514
00:40:43.639 --> 00:40:46.559
talk about, So if it's the
thing that you would do, as you

515
00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:52.239
said if if. Most of the
time we want everything to be perfect before

516
00:40:52.280 --> 00:40:57.079
we do something right. We want
everything to be lined up. Well,

517
00:40:57.199 --> 00:41:02.599
you know what that's not really the
way, and there it isn't okay much.

518
00:41:02.719 --> 00:41:09.159
So you so don't ever let what
you think you don't have stop you

519
00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:15.239
from doing what you want to do. You know, because if I say

520
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:17.159
okay, well you know, there
are people say, well, you know,

521
00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:22.840
I probably should go out here and
get my PhD before us start to,

522
00:41:22.519 --> 00:41:28.840
you know, help people with who
are struggling with emotional needs. Do

523
00:41:28.920 --> 00:41:31.599
you know that you can help someone
with an emotional need just by hug?

524
00:41:32.880 --> 00:41:40.000
Do you know that you can help
someone by just a kind word? You

525
00:41:40.039 --> 00:41:45.840
know? Do you know that you
can help someone by just serving them dinner,

526
00:41:45.239 --> 00:41:51.360
you know, inviting them out to
dinner. So I believe that there

527
00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:57.320
are there are there are There are
so many things that we say but if

528
00:41:57.719 --> 00:42:01.599
if I had this, I do
that. But if I had him,

529
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:07.920
then I would be more comfortable with
stepping out and going to a certain event

530
00:42:08.079 --> 00:42:13.679
or doing a certain thing. And
we make we put all of these reasons

531
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:19.800
why we can't do something instead of
finding ways that we can do something.

532
00:42:20.159 --> 00:42:25.119
And I think I've heard more people
say if, if, if, And

533
00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:31.400
I can tell you that if I
waited for everything to be perfect in my

534
00:42:31.559 --> 00:42:35.800
life, I wouldn't be here today
doing what I'm doing. I would have

535
00:42:35.880 --> 00:42:38.039
never wrote the book, I would
have never had the course, I would

536
00:42:38.039 --> 00:42:43.880
have never started speaking, I would
have never started coaching because I can find

537
00:42:44.199 --> 00:42:50.159
reasons why I shouldn't be doing that. And all I'm telling you is,

538
00:42:50.440 --> 00:42:54.360
don't let if get in the way
of you doing what you can do today.

539
00:42:54.679 --> 00:42:59.559
Okay, So really important for our
audiences that are like okay, So

540
00:42:59.880 --> 00:43:04.039
if thing or whatever presence for them, some of those IFFs. If I

541
00:43:04.119 --> 00:43:07.320
had more time, what are the
gifts? Well, you know, if

542
00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:09.800
if I had a degree, I
would I would go. I would go

543
00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:14.480
after that job. Or I would
start my new company. If I had

544
00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:17.920
twenty thousand dollars in the bank,
I would start the business that I've been

545
00:43:19.039 --> 00:43:23.880
dreaming about. But how many people
you know have started a highly successful company

546
00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:28.760
with a couple of hundred dollars?
How many stories have we heard about that?

547
00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:35.159
Okay? Or if I if I
didn't, if I wasn't three hundred

548
00:43:35.239 --> 00:43:37.960
pounds, then I might feel attractive, you know what I mean. Or

549
00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:44.320
I'm going to wait. I'm going
to wait until I get down to one

550
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:50.360
hundred pounds to feel attractive. The
weight is therefore a reason and you need

551
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:54.039
to discover why that weight is there. But don't let the weight make you

552
00:43:54.320 --> 00:44:00.199
feel like you're not an attractive person. If you know, if it's something

553
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:06.480
that I say, it is only
there to create fear, doubt, disbelief.

554
00:44:07.119 --> 00:44:12.519
Take fear out of it and say
I can, I will change that

555
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:16.280
if to I can, or I
will, or let me figure this out.

556
00:44:16.360 --> 00:44:20.920
Let me start working on the process, you know, Let me start

557
00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:24.280
writing that book. Okay. Some
people will say, well, I don't

558
00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:28.719
know if I can write well enough
to write a book. I say,

559
00:44:28.840 --> 00:44:32.000
go ahead and start writing the book. Get you an editor when you finish

560
00:44:32.119 --> 00:44:37.719
with the idea you have, Get
you an editor that can help to get

561
00:44:37.760 --> 00:44:43.599
it in the context that you need
it. But don't let things stop you

562
00:44:44.280 --> 00:44:50.599
from stepping out there and doing what
you can do. Change the paradigm in

563
00:44:50.679 --> 00:44:53.599
your mind. To let me see
what I can do today. How can

564
00:44:53.639 --> 00:44:59.360
I take one step closer to that
dream that I'm dreaming about? What is

565
00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:04.360
it going to take for me to
get out of this boat and begin to

566
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:07.800
walk on the water the thing that
I fear the most. That's what I

567
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:13.440
want to encourage you today. To
not let fear. Don't let the word

568
00:45:13.559 --> 00:45:17.360
if stop you from doing what you
can do today, because you have so

569
00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:22.559
much greatness inside of you that you
will never know unless you step out there

570
00:45:23.199 --> 00:45:30.039
and take a risk, and if
you fall short, just get back up

571
00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:37.679
and do it again. Failure is
not necessarily defeat. It is just another

572
00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:40.639
opportunity for you to get it right. Well, let me add one more

573
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:45.400
thing to that that I think really
adds a place to stand from that I

574
00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:47.880
keep saying when I go out to
speak and when I do my workshops,

575
00:45:47.880 --> 00:45:53.599
and that is you got to be
really present that you only get one precious

576
00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:58.760
life. And I'm telling you I've
experienced this before. On January third,

577
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:01.280
I watched my mother literally I was
laying next to her in hospital bed.

578
00:46:01.679 --> 00:46:07.159
She was here one minute and she
was gone the next. You do not

579
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:09.480
know what your expiration point is.
What's the date? Yeah, But what

580
00:46:09.559 --> 00:46:14.840
you do know is that today and
every day thereafter until that date happens.

581
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:17.519
When you are done with the world. You get to choose what you're going

582
00:46:17.599 --> 00:46:21.920
to do and so to be to
surround yourself with people like you, to

583
00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:24.840
be yes and people here in my
audience, I choose to be with you.

584
00:46:25.480 --> 00:46:30.239
That is the difference in that mindset
and that choice and that if.

585
00:46:30.719 --> 00:46:35.199
How what I'm doing with that IF
is everything? Yes, yes, yes,

586
00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:38.719
I'm going to tell you. I
think that IF should be taken out

587
00:46:38.719 --> 00:46:44.599
of the dictionary as well as we
can, you know, and replaced with

588
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:49.599
let me try, let me take
I will take step today will make me

589
00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:54.280
give up my best. Whatever it
is that you're dreaming about, take the

590
00:46:54.320 --> 00:47:00.480
first step. Don't expect everything to
be perfect, don't expect you to have

591
00:47:00.840 --> 00:47:07.840
everything lined up. If it's your
dream, take the first step and know

592
00:47:07.960 --> 00:47:12.519
that there are people out there that
will help you to take the second and

593
00:47:12.639 --> 00:47:14.880
the third. Well, and I
will tell you, and we're getting really

594
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:17.079
closer to a the end. What
you're going to regret at the very very

595
00:47:17.199 --> 00:47:21.719
end of all those ifs is the
things that you didn't do. So go

596
00:47:21.800 --> 00:47:24.119
do them. Yes, okay,
Cynthia. Can I say one thing?

597
00:47:25.079 --> 00:47:29.280
Thirty I was with a friend of
mine the other day and I heard and

598
00:47:29.360 --> 00:47:31.320
she's an elderly woman, and she
said, Cynthia, I wish that I

599
00:47:31.480 --> 00:47:36.760
you know what I wish. I
wished I had said yes more, say

600
00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:39.840
yes you're that. Listeners say yes, yeah, okay, So thirty second,

601
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:44.880
Cynthia, this show is about meaningful
work and life. What do we

602
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:50.119
leave listeners with? I want to
leave you with your life matters that you

603
00:47:50.239 --> 00:47:55.039
have greatness within you. Discover your
greatness and then step out and do it.

604
00:47:55.599 --> 00:48:00.639
Don't let what has happened to you
and your pa stop you from being

605
00:48:00.800 --> 00:48:07.280
great today and in your future.
Take all of the things that you have

606
00:48:07.559 --> 00:48:13.320
learned, put them in your bag
and use them to create success in your

607
00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:17.360
life. We all have success planned
in our lives. What a great way

608
00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:21.239
to finish, Cynthia, I thank
you so much for saying yes to this

609
00:48:21.320 --> 00:48:23.559
conversation and being on the air with
me. If you want to learn more

610
00:48:23.599 --> 00:48:28.480
about about Cynthia Mickens Ross, look
at her website, which is what which

611
00:48:28.519 --> 00:48:32.519
is doctor cynthiamickens Ross dot com.
And for you missed at the show last

612
00:48:32.519 --> 00:48:36.679
week, you always catch a recorded
podcast. Were on there with doctor Trillian

613
00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:39.760
Small. She's the CEO of Attachment
Leadership, a counseling, consulting and coaching

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company providing customized wellness and leadership development
programs, emotional intelligence, corporate training,

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and youth development curriculum. We talked
about her work coaching leaders and also her

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passion for and work in restorative juvenile
justice. Incredibly inspiring. Going to Revent

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next March fifth. By the way, next week we'll be on there with

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Michelle Connell, who was of Portae
Capital, talking about the importance of shoring

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up and managing our financial lives in
order to be able to more strategically situate

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00:49:06.920 --> 00:49:09.760
ourselves. For we're working on purpose. See you there. Remember that works

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at least one thar in our life, So let's work on purpose. See

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00:49:13.280 --> 00:49:20.519
you there. We hope you've enjoyed
this week's program. Be sure to tune

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00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:24.480
in to Working on Purpose, featuring
your host Alis Cortes, each week on

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00:49:24.559 --> 00:49:50.719
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. This
week, find your life's purpose at work