Oct. 4, 2017

Kimberly Davis on Brave Leadership

Kimberly Davis on Brave Leadership

There’s much talk about the importance of leadership to set a clear vision, engage the hearts and minds of individuals within an organization, and drive critical business results. And we hear about different types of leaders, as researcher and author...

iHeartRadio podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconAudible podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconAudacy podcast player iconYoutube Music podcast player iconSpreaker podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconCastbox podcast player iconJioSaavn podcast player iconCastamatic podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconFountain podcast player iconGoodpods podcast player iconOvercast podcast player iconPlayerFM podcast player iconPocketCasts podcast player iconPodimo podcast player iconPodurama podcast player iconPodverse podcast player iconPodyssey podcast player iconYouTube podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon
iHeartRadio podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconAudible podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconAudacy podcast player iconYoutube Music podcast player iconSpreaker podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconCastbox podcast player iconJioSaavn podcast player iconCastamatic podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconFountain podcast player iconGoodpods podcast player iconOvercast podcast player iconPlayerFM podcast player iconPocketCasts podcast player iconPodimo podcast player iconPodurama podcast player iconPodverse podcast player iconPodyssey podcast player iconYouTube podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon

There’s much talk about the importance of leadership to set a clear vision, engage the hearts and minds of individuals within an organization, and drive critical business results. And we hear about different types of leaders, as researcher and author Goleman differentiate – situational, commanding, visionary, democratic, affiliative, pacesetting, coaching. Which one of those should we be? Do we change our position as leaders, depending on the environment and task at hand? Maybe it’s more about the way we lead and the person we show up to be as a leader. Maybe it’s more about pushing ourselves to be brave, courageous, authentic, and just plain bold – even when we don’t think we can be.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:10.759
There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

2
00:00:11.400 --> 00:00:14.800
and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

3
00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:20.199
Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

4
00:00:20.280 --> 00:00:24.480
we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

5
00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:29.920
personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

6
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:37.079
on purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to

7
00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:39.920
Working on Purpose. Thanks for tuning
in again this week. I'm your host,

8
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:43.000
Elise Cortes, joining you from Dallas, Texas, which is home base

9
00:00:43.039 --> 00:00:47.039
for me. This program is all
about helping people more meaningfully and productively connect

10
00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:50.679
with their work and equipping organizations to
do the same for their employees. So

11
00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:54.359
I bring on guests who have a
particular perspective or experience that I think expands

12
00:00:54.359 --> 00:00:58.119
the conversation about meaningful and productive work. And I often draw on the meaning

13
00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:00.320
of work research I've been doing over
the last fifteen years, as well as

14
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.359
my own experienced consulting, including the
work I do it Insignium, which is

15
00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:07.920
a global management consulting firm. I'll
get to the program in just a second,

16
00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:11.040
but let me thank my media partner
and sponsor, jobbing dot com.

17
00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:15.000
They are the leading locally focused job
board in the nation and they are dedicated

18
00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:19.480
helping employers find quality talent in their
own backyard while giving job seekers control over

19
00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:22.599
their search they can find work close
to home. Great partnership. Thank you

20
00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:26.560
jobbing dot Com. Last week,
if you missed the show, we were

21
00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:29.959
on the air with Sean Anderson,
by far and away my favorite and I

22
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:34.000
think the only extra Mile America,
an Extra Mile World motivational author and speaker.

23
00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:37.959
We had an in depth conversation about
what it takes to live a great

24
00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:41.599
life, and we each shared our
perspectives on the topic. It was hopelessly

25
00:01:41.719 --> 00:01:44.719
fun and we each walked away a
little bit more inspired to live the best

26
00:01:44.760 --> 00:01:47.439
live says we each were informed by
the other. So if you miss that

27
00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:51.000
show, go back and grab the
podcast. By the way, if you

28
00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:53.959
want to receive alerts in advance of
my live radio show conversations to know what's

29
00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:59.400
coming, you can join my mailing
list by visiting my website at Aliscortes dot

30
00:01:59.439 --> 00:02:02.680
com, navigating to the blog tab, and then under my photo entering your

31
00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:07.199
name and email address. Now with
us this week is Kimberly Davis, who

32
00:02:07.240 --> 00:02:12.520
is an expert on authentic leadership and
shares her inspirational message of personal power,

33
00:02:12.759 --> 00:02:16.800
responsibility, and impact with organizations across
the country. She also teaches leadership programs

34
00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:22.360
worldwide, including her own program called
on Stage Leadership, which runs in New

35
00:02:22.439 --> 00:02:24.840
York City and Dallas. She's the
author of the soon to be released book

36
00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:30.479
called Brave Leadership. Unleash your most
confident, authentic and powerful self to get

37
00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:32.759
the results you need. We'll be
talking about her actual books, so you

38
00:02:32.759 --> 00:02:36.400
get kind of a sneak preefy before
it comes out in the beginning of next

39
00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:39.919
year. Kimberly joins today from Austin, Texas. Kimberly Davis, Welcome back

40
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:44.919
to Working on Purpose, a Las
Cortes. I am so excited to be

41
00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:47.800
on your show with your listeners again
this year. I am too, darn

42
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:51.240
it. So I'm going to just
extract as much as I can out of

43
00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:53.719
you before I let you go in
the next hour. So on your mark

44
00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:57.719
gets set go. You ready,
okay? I am ready. Okay.

45
00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:01.479
Since both of us work in the
field of leadership and we do it from

46
00:03:01.479 --> 00:03:05.879
different vantage points, I think it's
important we kind of segment and start and

47
00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:08.520
anchor the show in that So I
want to talk a little bit broadly about

48
00:03:08.599 --> 00:03:13.240
leadership. So from your dvantage point, why do you think it's important for

49
00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.280
any of us to develop the leader
in us? Well, you know,

50
00:03:15.400 --> 00:03:20.240
I think when you sent me this
question and I was thinking about it,

51
00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:23.479
I thought, you know, one
of my favorite quotes ever is a Jim

52
00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:28.759
Roan quote, and he talks about
Jim Jim Roan talks about being a millionaire,

53
00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:31.240
right, and that's not really what
I think is that important. But

54
00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:36.319
what he says is become a millionaire
because of what it will make of you.

55
00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:40.199
And I think that is true about
leadership. I think become a leader

56
00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:45.400
because of what it will make of
you, because to be a great leader,

57
00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:51.800
it will require you to bring your
most influential and your best self to

58
00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:55.680
the world. And I can't think
of a better reason for all of us

59
00:03:55.759 --> 00:04:01.240
to nurture that part of ourselves.
I love that start Camberley. That's gorgeous.

60
00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:03.199
And you know, one of the
things that I know from being a

61
00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:08.919
researcher around investing how people experience meaning
in their work is most people, at

62
00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:11.919
some level what they want to do
at the end of the day is they

63
00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:15.159
want to matter, right, they
want to make a difference. And the

64
00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:17.639
way you just position that is about
making a difference. And I think that's

65
00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:21.720
a great way to start this conversation. Thank you. Well, it really

66
00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:26.240
is. It's all about making a
difference and making an impact. Yeah,

67
00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:29.439
okay, Well along those lines,
one of the things that I've always found

68
00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:33.360
amazing about you is you have this
phrase, is saying that as leaders,

69
00:04:33.399 --> 00:04:36.480
we're always on stage, which is
a vulnerable place to be, right,

70
00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:40.560
We're in that spotlight. People are
looking at us. Now. You even

71
00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:45.199
named your leadership development company on stage
leadership. So before we get into your

72
00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:46.720
book, because I got to imagine
some of your book has come from your

73
00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:50.680
experience of leading that company. Why
did you start your company and what do

74
00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:57.120
your participants get from participating? Well, so we have to back up a

75
00:04:57.120 --> 00:05:02.279
little bit because I got a lot
of my insights from the actual stage.

76
00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:06.399
I did theater for like twenty years, and so what I noticed when I

77
00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:13.839
was in this theater is that people
you feel pretty vulnerable on the stage when

78
00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:15.879
people are scrutinizing you, and people
are watching you, and you think people

79
00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:23.360
are judging you, and you want
to prove yourself. And so when we

80
00:05:23.399 --> 00:05:28.160
are in our leadership role, we
are also always on stage because people are

81
00:05:28.160 --> 00:05:31.480
always watching, they're always paying attention, They're always paying attention to what you

82
00:05:31.519 --> 00:05:33.680
say and what you don't say,
and what you do and you don't do,

83
00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:38.439
and every minute of every day they're
either choosing you as to be a

84
00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:46.800
leader or not. And so when
I started putting together my company, I

85
00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.920
drew from tools that we used in
this theater because actors were in that vulnerable

86
00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:57.600
space and because they applied directly to
leadership, because leaders are always on stage,

87
00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:01.360
and even if they don't recognize the
fact, they still are always in

88
00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:06.600
the spotlight. Well, and I
certainly one of the things that I want

89
00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:12.240
to call out and thank you again
for your support over the years is I

90
00:06:12.399 --> 00:06:15.959
have been in my own leadership role, as community service leadership or various others.

91
00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:19.680
You are always there reminding me of
that and helping and cheering me on

92
00:06:19.800 --> 00:06:25.120
and giving me tools and resources along
the way. So you have been someone

93
00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:28.519
who has coached me from this,
you know, from the backstage, So

94
00:06:28.600 --> 00:06:30.000
thank you for that. Well,
I have been the one who has been

95
00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:35.480
lucky enough to cheer you on because
You've been pretty extraordinary in your efforts.

96
00:06:35.560 --> 00:06:41.319
So yeah, that's an easy thing
to do. Elisee, Well, thank

97
00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:43.839
you, my friend. And the
fact that we now get to share this

98
00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:46.600
vision with everybody else who read your
book, I'm thrilled about that. And

99
00:06:46.279 --> 00:06:49.240
and to that end, as we
talk about leadership, you know, the

100
00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:53.279
other end of leadership. And I
had somebody on my show earlier who was

101
00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:57.759
talking about the actual follower piece of
this whole equation. But you say in

102
00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:00.319
your book that a leader is somebody
who people want to follow, not have

103
00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:05.079
to follow. Will you say more
about that? Yeah, So some of

104
00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:11.759
this, some of what defines leadership
today, or what I feel defines leadership

105
00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:17.000
today, is the environment that we're
in. And so what is needed from

106
00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:20.360
a leader today is so different than
it was ten to fifteen years ago,

107
00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:24.959
because it's a different world than it
was ten to fifty years ago. Ten

108
00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:28.600
to fifteen years ago, there was
something called security in the workforce, right.

109
00:07:28.839 --> 00:07:31.560
You know, you could get a
job out of college and you would

110
00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:36.879
stay at the same job for your
entire career and retire with your gold watch

111
00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:40.560
and your pension, and all would
be great. But you know, there

112
00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:44.959
is no such thing as security in
the workforce anymore, and now in the

113
00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:49.480
workplace is moving faster than ever.
There's more uncertainty than there's ever been before,

114
00:07:49.480 --> 00:07:58.279
as volatile things are very ambiguous.
There's absolutely The HR world has a

115
00:07:58.279 --> 00:08:01.120
acronym that they like to use,
which I think it is pretty great.

116
00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:07.639
It's they call it the VUKA environment
for volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous.

117
00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:13.600
So it's this VUKA environment that has
really shifted what we need from from

118
00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:20.079
leaders because in the past, a
leader could pretty much just just use command

119
00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:22.360
and control. They could say,
you know, do this or has it

120
00:08:22.439 --> 00:08:26.240
going to roll? But nowadays,
if you were to try that in the

121
00:08:26.279 --> 00:08:28.240
workforce, and you know, i'd
be foolish to say that isn't happening in

122
00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:33.840
the workforce today, but it doesn't
work successfully nowadays. If you try command

123
00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:37.320
and control when people don't feel safe, what are they going to do.

124
00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:43.080
They're going to stop participating, They're
going to stop bring themselves out there.

125
00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:46.960
They're not going to call out when
they see a problem. They're not going

126
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.840
to bring their best because they're going
to do everything they can to just stay

127
00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:54.799
off the radar, so they can
say stay stay right right right right.

128
00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:00.919
So yeah, so and if you
apply command and controls all of different emotions

129
00:09:00.919 --> 00:09:05.240
they're playing out in the workforce,
it just doesn't give you the results that

130
00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:09.559
you need. So when you counter
that to what will give you the results

131
00:09:09.559 --> 00:09:13.720
that you need, you really need
to harness the emotional energy in a positive

132
00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:18.200
way in the workforce. And I
think of that as choice. People need

133
00:09:18.440 --> 00:09:22.320
people choose to follow you, No, not have to follow you. You

134
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:26.480
don't get a paycheck exchange. You
get their wants, their heart. They're

135
00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:31.480
going to give you the best that
they have to give. If you don't

136
00:09:31.480 --> 00:09:33.960
have access to their want, all
you're going to get is a warm body

137
00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:39.159
there to collect the paycheck, put
in their hours. Okay, this is

138
00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:41.080
so good, Kimberly, if you
don't mind, I want to represence what

139
00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:43.720
you said before. I've never heard
that acronym, by the way, and

140
00:09:43.799 --> 00:09:48.720
I think it's really really important that
our listeners really get this because it's so

141
00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:54.080
important to be able to really give
a context for the way we experience in

142
00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:56.240
how we do our work today,
especially if you contrast that to say,

143
00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:00.720
fifteen twenty years ago. And keep
in mind that this show is listened to

144
00:10:00.759 --> 00:10:03.919
across the globe, so there are
various countries and various developments that hear this

145
00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:07.759
show, and many of them are
you know, may still be in that

146
00:10:07.799 --> 00:10:11.000
command and control and moving away from
it. So this is fascinating, right,

147
00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:15.399
So tell us again about that,
well, and what's what's the evolution?

148
00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:18.879
Where are things going to go or
might go? Depends on the culture.

149
00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:22.639
Yeah, yeah, So the actronom
again is what did you say?

150
00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:28.440
It's the VUKA v u c A
v u c A okay, and again

151
00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:39.399
that stands for volatile, uncertain,
complex and ambiguous. Okay. This is

152
00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:43.879
so important to be able to situate
why well, why a new way of

153
00:10:43.080 --> 00:10:48.600
leading is so important? Okay,
So before we get into really you know

154
00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:52.639
what you mean by brave, I
guess what I want to get into next

155
00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:56.639
is you talk about the importance of
unlocking the wanton followers. And I heard

156
00:10:56.679 --> 00:11:00.960
you talk about, you know,
that whole being able to harness the positive

157
00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:07.159
emotional energy from the workplace as opposed
to coming from a place of fear and

158
00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:09.279
an uncertainty. And you know,
I appreciate the way you position that,

159
00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:13.519
Kimberly, because you're right, when
we go into a place of fear,

160
00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:16.080
we generally kind of cower into the
corner usually, right, that's how right?

161
00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.840
How many of us will respond when
we're afraid? Exactly? Hey,

162
00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:24.679
Alice, have I ever shared with
you? There's a great metaphor that Dan

163
00:11:24.759 --> 00:11:30.399
and Chip Heaths used in their book
Switch No it's hard. Yeah, it's

164
00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:35.360
a fantastic it's a fantastic metaphor.
And so in their books, which they

165
00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:41.799
compare our emotions to that of a
three ton elephant, right, and they

166
00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:46.919
compare our logic to the little guy
who's perched on top of the elephant,

167
00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.840
you know, the elephant writer.
Now, when the elephant and the elephant

168
00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:52.919
writer want to go in the same
direction, everything is cool, right,

169
00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:56.840
all right? So got it?
What happens when the elephant wants to go

170
00:11:56.840 --> 00:12:03.120
in a different direction than the writer? Who's going to win? I think

171
00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:05.799
the elephant's kind of win the elephant
every time, right, exactly, elephant

172
00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:11.360
every time. And the funny thing
is is it in our workplace we say,

173
00:12:11.399 --> 00:12:13.799
you know, leave your emotions at
the door. There's no room for

174
00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:18.320
emotions here. But the truth is
is if you're not paying attention to the

175
00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:20.960
work, the emotion and the workforce, it's like the elephant, it's going

176
00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:24.200
to run right over you, it's
going to make a big mess. It's

177
00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:28.440
the big problem if you don't deal
with it. And so we and I'm

178
00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:33.039
not suggesting that it's all about the
elephant. We've got to find a healthy

179
00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:37.200
alignment between our emotions and our Logy's
got to have a very healthy respect for

180
00:12:37.279 --> 00:12:41.279
the fact that this is what's showing
up in our workforce, that when people

181
00:12:41.399 --> 00:12:50.279
are in a meeting and they're feeling
stressed and overwhelmed and frightened and worried about

182
00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:56.919
their jobs, and this is and
how does that manifest? Oh my gosh,

183
00:12:56.919 --> 00:12:58.399
So Kimberly, just really quick,
just just to kind of bring this

184
00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:03.399
home for people. So when we're
working with organizations and insignium, of course

185
00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:07.440
we're really we're very present to the
importance and the profundity of emotions in the

186
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:11.559
workplace. Right, They're certainly not
to be ignored. There to be understood

187
00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:16.000
and presence in a way that it
will be effective and efficient and yield the

188
00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:18.279
results that you want. But first
we got to be aware of what they

189
00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.679
actually are. So they're oftentimes hanging
around there in the background, and you

190
00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:24.000
know, we don't really know about
that. The trick is to be able

191
00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:28.279
to really bring them into the foreground
so we can actually give a name to

192
00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.200
them, call them, recognize them
for what they are, right, and

193
00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:35.399
then be able to address them whether
they're showing up negatively or positively for us.

194
00:13:35.440 --> 00:13:39.039
So I just think I really want
to applaud what you're saying about this

195
00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:41.679
emotional piece in the workplace. And
I remember the days when people used to

196
00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:46.200
say, it's not it's not personal, it's just business. Get past it.

197
00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:50.240
Yeah, remember that well? And
truly, how can you how can

198
00:13:50.279 --> 00:13:52.320
you connect to the want of others
if you don't know what they're what's going

199
00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:58.159
on with them emotionally exactly? Really
hand well, and especially as leaders,

200
00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:01.960
right, because you talked about catalyzing
results through positive emotions. Okay, yeah,

201
00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:07.480
that's right. Okay, Well then
along those lines speaking of emotions,

202
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:09.840
I mean, you've written a whole
book about brave leadership. So what do

203
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:16.080
you mean by brave? Well,
okay, so let me first say what

204
00:14:16.360 --> 00:14:22.759
the dictionary means by brave, because
you're totally different from what I think of

205
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:26.679
brave as right, And you wonder
at least why you think of when you

206
00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:28.840
go into a situation where you need
to put yourself out there when you need

207
00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:33.600
to do something scary, you need
to give a presentation or have a really

208
00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:37.120
tough conversation with someone. Why you
feel that kind of I want to throw

209
00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:39.480
up feeling? You know, I
need to be brave here. I need

210
00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:43.039
to be brave here. But it
doesn't feel like a good thing, right.

211
00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:48.480
Your experience of I need to be
brave doesn't feel positive. It feels

212
00:14:48.600 --> 00:14:52.080
really icky in your stomach, right, And so I was like, why

213
00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:56.279
is that? And so I actually
looked it up in the dictionary and they

214
00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:03.360
define brave is ready to face fear
and endure danger or pain. Oh my

215
00:15:03.399 --> 00:15:07.480
gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, really, who gets excited

216
00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:11.240
about that? I want to get
up in the morning and face me some

217
00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:15.240
danger and pain. I can't wait
for that, right, sign me up.

218
00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:20.360
It's it's a way of looking at
it that is going to completely disempower

219
00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:24.799
you. Right. So I knew
that if that's how I looked at being

220
00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:28.720
brave, that it would stop me
in my tracks because I don't want to

221
00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:33.080
base and endure danger or pain anymore
than anybody else does. Right, So

222
00:15:33.240 --> 00:15:37.159
I knew I needed to reframe it
for myself. And so the way I

223
00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:46.840
define brave is your best, most
authentic and powerful self. And it's a

224
00:15:46.840 --> 00:15:50.840
lot more complex than it sounds,
you know, right at first, because

225
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:54.399
when you know, I think about
when I think about my best self,

226
00:15:56.279 --> 00:16:00.000
right, my best self is not
someone who's disrespectful or unkind. My best

227
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:07.720
self is someone who's blaming other or
showing contempt. My best self is more

228
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:15.200
patient, more curious, caring,
positive, constructive, probably articulate, definitely

229
00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:22.080
more hopeful than otherwise. Right.
If brave is anchored in your best self,

230
00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:27.559
it forces you to take responsibility for
yourself. What I so appreciate about

231
00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:30.000
what you're saying, So go ahead
to hear only something else ahead? Yeah,

232
00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.000
no, no, no, go
ahead, go ahead. Well what

233
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:36.240
I was going to put that into
the context? I literally, just before

234
00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:38.720
getting on the ERA with you,
finished a coaching call with one of one

235
00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:45.080
of our clients. And she's really
also she's she is an executive leader,

236
00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:48.279
and she wants to continue developing her
persona, her message, and she really

237
00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:56.080
understands the importance of being able to
develop that inspirational, motivational aspect of who

238
00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:57.279
she is a leader, to be
able to bring people along and make them

239
00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:00.000
want to come with her on the
journey. And so When I hear you

240
00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:03.880
talk about this whole notion of brave
leadership, what I hear is like a

241
00:17:04.039 --> 00:17:08.160
reaching through to be able to grab
people, to grab them along the journey

242
00:17:08.200 --> 00:17:12.160
with you. That's what I hear
when you talk. Because connecting to their

243
00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:17.400
want is a byproduct. Right If
I can bring my brave self, my

244
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:21.759
best, most authentic and powerful self, the byproduct of that is they want

245
00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:26.079
to follow. The byproduct of that
is they want to engage, they want

246
00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:27.960
to give their best, they want
to be a part of whatever it is

247
00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:33.680
undoing, They want to listen.
Right, But it's a byproduct. You

248
00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:37.160
can go, you go after I
want people to listen to me, and

249
00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:38.880
you're not going to show but a
way that they actually want to listen to

250
00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:42.799
you, right right, But if
you show up as your best, most

251
00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:48.319
authentic and powerful self, the byproduct
is that they will want to listen to

252
00:17:48.359 --> 00:17:52.079
you. Mm hmm. And isn't
it amazing? And here's what's really great

253
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:53.640
about that? And perfect time because
we're just about to go for a break

254
00:17:53.640 --> 00:17:56.920
here. But what's great about that, Kimberly, is that when I think

255
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:00.079
about like the best times when I've
ever been in front of a group and

256
00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:03.640
I wanted them to come with me. I know they're with me by how

257
00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:06.880
they're looking at me. Right,
there's an energy exchange that happens, right,

258
00:18:07.319 --> 00:18:10.440
And I think that's what you're describing. And then you mentioned you know

259
00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:12.039
the byproduct piece of that, then
you know you've already e've hit it.

260
00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:17.359
But that connection of the eyeballs and
the heartbeat that goes with it, I

261
00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:22.799
think is what you're talking about.
Yes, absolutely, it's the heartbeat.

262
00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:26.160
When you said the heart beat,
it's all emotion, it's all elephants want

263
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.519
lives in the heart. I mean, you can logic your way out of

264
00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:33.160
it, but if you don't want
it, you can't stake it. Right,

265
00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:37.519
No want I love that, And
what a perfect way to take us

266
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:41.440
into the break. So hopefully we'll
get folks still want more. I'm a

267
00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:44.839
las Cortes, your host Wave on
the air with Kimberly Davis, who is

268
00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:48.720
the founder of on Sage Leadership,
who also gave a ted ex called What

269
00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:52.680
it Means to Be Brave. She's
the author of Brave Leadership Unleash your most

270
00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:56.000
confident, authentic and powerful self to
get the results you need, which is

271
00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:59.720
endorsed by Dan pink. We've been
talking a bit about what it means to

272
00:18:59.720 --> 00:19:03.599
be and how that why this is
important today's workplace. After the break,

273
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:06.960
we're going to get into what gets
in the way of being brave. Stay

274
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:23.240
with us Friend us on Facebook to
keep up with what's empowering the world.

275
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:30.680
Voice America Empowerment. Lalis Cortes is
a speaker and engagement and development catalyst.

276
00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:37.359
She designs and delivers professional development,
leadership and engagement workshops and can bring her

277
00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:41.519
expertise to your organization. She will
help ignite meaningful development within your workforce that

278
00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:47.519
will increase employee engagement, performance and
retention. To learn more or to invite

279
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:52.200
Elise to speak to your organization,
please visit her at www dot Elisecortes dot

280
00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:57.200
com. She would welcome the opportunity
to help get your employees working on purpose.

281
00:19:59.480 --> 00:20:03.480
Are I heared of strained relationships that
don't work? We all have at

282
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:07.160
least one a family member, of
friend, or coworker we struggle to understand

283
00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:11.039
and deal with. Now you can
improve those relationships fast with simple tools and

284
00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:17.680
skills. Tune into Relationship Radio with
Nicole Cunningham and Kim Giles. You'll learn

285
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:21.440
how to have a better marriage,
improve communication with your kids, and reduce

286
00:20:21.480 --> 00:20:26.039
stress at work. Listen Life every
Thursday at nine am Pacific time and twelve

287
00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:30.559
noon Eastern Time on the Voice America
Empowerment Channel. Are you ready to tackle

288
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:34.599
the rules of business? He may
think you're doing everything by the book,

289
00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:40.559
following your own best practice bilads,
bringing in endless consultants, only to find

290
00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:45.039
that your business is not moving forward. That's where you need to stop and

291
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:49.480
figure out where things are going wrong. Enter Business Rules with host Peter Feinstein.

292
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.920
Peter and his guest will break it
all down for you to help you

293
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:57.559
and your business succeed. Listen Wednesdays
at eight am Pacific time eleven am Eastern

294
00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:07.480
Time on Voice America Harment. It's
your world, Motivate, change, Succeed.

295
00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:22.079
Voice America Empowerment dot com. This
is Working on Purpose with Elise Cortes.

296
00:21:22.519 --> 00:21:26.079
To reach our program today, please
call in to one triple eight three

297
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:32.319
four six nine one four one Again
that's one triple eight three four six nine

298
00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:36.680
one four one. You may also
send an email to Eleise A. L

299
00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:45.839
Se at Elisecortes dot com. Now
back to Working on Purpose. Thanks for

300
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:48.599
staying with us, and welcome back. To working on purpose if you're just

301
00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:52.119
joining us. My guest is Kimberly
Davis, who is an expert on authentitic

302
00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:56.400
leadership and shares her inspirational message of
personal power, responsibility, and impact with

303
00:21:56.519 --> 00:22:00.839
organizations across the country. She also
teaches leadership program worldwide, including her program

304
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:06.039
called on Stage Leadership, which runs
in New York City and Dallas. She's

305
00:22:06.039 --> 00:22:08.640
the author of the soon to be
a released book called Brave Leadership. Unleash

306
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:11.839
your most confident, authentic and powerful
self to get the results you need.

307
00:22:12.279 --> 00:22:15.640
She joined us today from Austin,
Texas. I'm your host, Alice Cortes.

308
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:19.960
So as we continue this conversation,
Miss Kimberly, I think it probably

309
00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:25.240
is not a bad idea for us
to talk about authenticity and for those listeners

310
00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:26.839
that maybe think they know what that
means, I want to get them on

311
00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:30.000
the same page as what you want
it to be. What do you mean

312
00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:33.599
by authenticity? Yeah, well,
I find just signing brave is your best,

313
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:36.680
most authentic and powerful self. I
guess we probably should talk about what

314
00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:41.039
it means to be authentic, because
authenticity is one of those words that gets

315
00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:45.039
bandied about so much that we love. What does that mean, right.

316
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:48.480
I mean if you anybody who's been
on Facebook on any day of the week

317
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:52.720
could look at can find a post
that says be authentic, be yourself,

318
00:22:52.759 --> 00:22:56.559
doesn't matter what anybody thinks. And
that's all great and good, except for

319
00:22:56.640 --> 00:23:03.799
in the framework of leadership and influence
it doesn't work. So I actually steal

320
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:10.039
my definition of authenticity from a guy
named Bill George. And mister George used

321
00:23:10.119 --> 00:23:14.400
to be the CEO from the Tronic
and Elli's on the Harvard works for the

322
00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:17.759
Harvard Business School for the School of
Management, and he wrote a book called

323
00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:22.160
Authentic Leadership, so he gets to
be the guru of authentic leadership. He

324
00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:25.720
also wrote True North, which is
his most recent book, and it's got

325
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:33.440
a lot of acclaim. But mister
George's definition of authenticity is are you genuine

326
00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:47.359
worthy of trust, reliance and belief? And what makes that so complex is

327
00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:52.680
that you don't get to decide.
You don't get to decide if you're genuine,

328
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:57.000
worthy of trust, reliance and belief. The people around you get to

329
00:23:57.039 --> 00:24:03.000
decide. Do they experience you this? Do your listeners experience you as worthy

330
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:11.400
of belief? Does your boss experience
you as believable? As genuine You don't

331
00:24:11.400 --> 00:24:15.680
get to decide that other people get
to decide. And that makes it really,

332
00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:19.400
really complex, because what your boss
is going to need from you to

333
00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:22.720
experience you as worthy of trust is
going to be very different than something your

334
00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:26.200
colleagues might need from you, or
what your client is going to need from

335
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:30.400
you. Yeah, and so it
doesn't mean, now, let me be

336
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:33.880
very clear about this. It doesn't
mean you become this chameleon kind of person

337
00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:36.440
and I'll be whatever you want me
to be and whatever you want me to

338
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:40.000
be. No, what it means
is that you have to have a healthy

339
00:24:40.079 --> 00:24:44.119
respect for the fact that every human
being you come in contact with is going

340
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:48.039
to have a different set of needs, and so for them to experience you

341
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:51.480
as genuine worthy of trust, reliance
and belief, you have to be able

342
00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:56.480
to connect to those needs. And
what I'm getting from that, Miss Kimberly,

343
00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:57.519
you tell me if I've got this
right. Based because you're the one

344
00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:02.000
that knows this better and you've been
up to your eyeballs really studying this and

345
00:25:02.039 --> 00:25:04.440
thinking about how to talk about it. It seems to me that since you're

346
00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:08.519
trying to appeal across to all that
different that those sets of needs. What

347
00:25:08.519 --> 00:25:11.839
you're really probably doing, if you're
really active from a place of authenticity,

348
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:15.720
is you're activating the parts of yourself
that speak to those things, if you

349
00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:22.880
can absolutely absolutely Yeah. So for
example, Elise, I tend to be

350
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:30.359
a pretty gregarious person. I'm,
you know, pretty bubbly and and vivacious,

351
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:33.960
some people might describe me. But
when I go to speak to let's

352
00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:37.559
say, I'm going to speak to
a group of bankers, I've really kind

353
00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:41.680
of got to dial myself back a
little bit. And that doesn't mean I'm

354
00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:45.279
changing who I am, but that
means if I go in there and hey,

355
00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:48.960
hi, you doing, They're not
going to be able to hear me.

356
00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:59.119
And if my job is to connect
to their want so they can learn

357
00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:03.680
what I have to share and benefit
from the tools I have to offer,

358
00:26:03.400 --> 00:26:11.599
then I cannot I cannot lose sight
of the fact that what they need from

359
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:17.200
me is to show up in a
way that is not going to be so

360
00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:25.000
foreign for them. Mm hmmm m. And then then as we develop our

361
00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:30.960
relationship, I get more latitude to
to let myself cut myself loose a little

362
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:33.319
bit, let your hair down,
if you will, uh huh yeah.

363
00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:37.680
Yeah. But I've already established trust
and rapport, then they've already experienced me

364
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:42.119
as genuine worthy of trust, reliance
and beliefs. M But I haven't.

365
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:47.000
I have to go in very mindful
what do these people need from me?

366
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.240
What does this person need for me? What does this person need for me

367
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:52.079
to experience me as genuine worthy tress, reliance and belief. And what that

368
00:26:52.119 --> 00:26:56.279
requires is that at every minute,
you're always having to pay attention to the

369
00:26:56.319 --> 00:27:02.160
impact that you're having on other people. It empathy and action. Yeah,

370
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:06.599
being very present to that is really
a true talent, a true skill to

371
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:10.039
be able to be really present to
that in the moment right. It can

372
00:27:10.119 --> 00:27:15.839
be so hard to do to a
last It is something that it takes constant

373
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:22.839
mindfulness and sometimes, you know,
sometimes I'll miss it and I won't realize

374
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:27.000
that I've missed it. But my
focus of attention has to be so clear

375
00:27:27.319 --> 00:27:33.319
that I want to connect to that. Mm hmmmmm. I totally got that.

376
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:34.839
And of course we all miss that
sometimes. But to the extent that

377
00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:41.400
we can be is mindful and conscious
as we can going into these situations right,

378
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:45.160
the better serve that we are right
right absolutely, And what's so great

379
00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:49.440
about that definition is I think it
helps with everything. It becomes a filter

380
00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:55.440
for preparation. So, how do
you prepare for a one on one with

381
00:27:55.519 --> 00:28:00.000
your boss so he will experience you
or she will experience you this genuine really

382
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:03.119
you trust reliance and belief? How
do you prepare for a shareholder meeting so

383
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:07.519
they experience you as genuine worthy you
trust, reliance and belief? How do

384
00:28:07.559 --> 00:28:12.240
you dress so they experience you as
worthy of trust? What kind of language

385
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:17.519
do you use when you when you're
in that situation? It becomes a filter

386
00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:23.240
for everything, And I like it
so much better than categorizing the situational leadership

387
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:26.319
forces you. I'm not going to
put my visionary hat on I am,

388
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.559
I'm going to put my coaching hat
on. This requires you, It requires

389
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:34.160
you to exercise all of those parts
of yourself based on what other people need.

390
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:40.720
Mm hmmmm hm. I so get
that, And that is so powerful

391
00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:45.599
to presence that kimberly before we actually
get into brave. So I love that.

392
00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:49.119
So anything else on authenticity before we
actually dive into the barriers to brave.

393
00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:55.240
No, I think I think that
we've I think that we've given given

394
00:28:55.240 --> 00:28:56.960
them enough to be dangerous Okay,
good, that's what we want. We

395
00:28:57.000 --> 00:29:00.079
want our listeners to be dangerous to
stuff is good. Go forth and be

396
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:03.200
dangerous with this stuff. Yeah,
okay, Well I thought it was really

397
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:04.960
important, you know, you and
I were chatting on the break just to

398
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:08.279
make sure that we could really position
the authenticity piece of this, because it's

399
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:12.200
part of what you have in your
in your definition of brave. So you

400
00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:15.839
know, you you there's a there's
a whole section about, you know,

401
00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:19.480
barriers to brave in your book,
and I want to be able to present

402
00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:22.279
this for our listeners about what's the
kind of stuff that gets in the way

403
00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:26.920
of us being brave. So let's
talk a bit about that that section there.

404
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:29.839
What gets in the way? Kimberly, Yeah, I think so the

405
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:33.160
biggest thing that gets in the way
is how we see the world, our

406
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:34.640
focus of attention, how we see
ourselves and how we see the world.

407
00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:42.480
What are we paying attention to?
Okay, so how you see yourself.

408
00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:47.960
So our focus will trigger our feelings, which will trigger our behaviors. So

409
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:52.119
if you're focused on being afraid,
if you're focused on what people might think,

410
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:55.319
you focus on people, you might
make a mistake or you might look

411
00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:59.440
stupid, right, The feelings that
are going to come up for you are

412
00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:02.039
going to be a lot lot of
anxiety. You're going to you're going to

413
00:30:02.599 --> 00:30:07.359
you're going to feel a lot of
fear. What's going to happen, then,

414
00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:11.960
is your the amygdala in your brain, the part of your brain and

415
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:15.920
the frontal cortex that is in charge
for all emotion Management's going to send all

416
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.359
of this cortisol, the stress hormone
right through your body. And so you're

417
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:22.400
going to start experiencing your stomach's going
to clench, and your hands might sweat,

418
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:26.240
and your muscles might tense up,
and your breast might your breathing might

419
00:30:26.279 --> 00:30:30.000
get short, right, So you'll
have a physiological reaction to it as well.

420
00:30:30.359 --> 00:30:36.880
And when you have this physiological reaction, then then then that will inform

421
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:41.039
how you show up in the world, right, and it will inform the

422
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:45.640
actions that you take. So when
we feel these things physiologically, we'll start

423
00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:51.720
to do things to protect ourselves or
or well we'll go into the fight or

424
00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:56.519
flight mode, or well we'll want
to push so we try to overcome those

425
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:00.400
feelings, but it will affect the
way we behave in the world. So

426
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:03.400
our focus triggers are behaviors, which
triggers our focus. Triggers are feelings,

427
00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:07.240
which triggers are behaviors. Well,
let me your results. Yeah, that's

428
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:12.000
exactly right, gotcha. Example.
So, as you know, Elice,

429
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:18.039
I moved from Seattle to Dallas.
Gosh, I want to say it was

430
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:23.079
about Beto over ten years ago.
So I moved from Seattle to Dallas ten

431
00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:27.160
years ago. Seattle Dallas very very
different cities, as you know, because

432
00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.559
you've lived in both cities, right, Yes, I have. When I

433
00:31:30.599 --> 00:31:34.680
first moved to Dallas. Nothing personal
my friends in Dallas, but I hated

434
00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:41.400
Dallas. I hated Dallas for like
two solid years because I had I decided

435
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:45.079
very very early on that I don't
belong in Dallas, right, so I

436
00:31:45.119 --> 00:31:48.599
would I would go to the grocery
store. Now, Seattle is like this

437
00:31:48.720 --> 00:31:52.279
really casual culture. You could wear
fleas to a five star restaurant, right,

438
00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:53.920
you go to the grocery store.
In Dallas, people are wearing you

439
00:31:53.960 --> 00:31:57.680
know, three and child four and
chields and bling to the grocery store.

440
00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:05.079
Right, I got whoa what with
that? And in Dallas people talk to

441
00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:07.920
each other in the in line at
Starbucks. And Seattle we all kept very

442
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:13.759
much to ourselves, right, and
and Dallas was flat and seattle and mountains

443
00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:17.240
and everything I saw I would compare
and trast and compare and contrast. Dallas

444
00:32:17.359 --> 00:32:22.400
is this, Seattle is that?
And I reconfirmed I don't belong in Dallas,

445
00:32:23.480 --> 00:32:28.079
right, and telling myself I don't
belong in Dallas. Everything I saw,

446
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:31.880
every situation I found myself in reconfirmed
that, because that's where my focus

447
00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:36.880
of attention was that I was looking
for reasons to prove myself right that I

448
00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:40.440
don't belong in Dallas. Well,
like two years into living in Dallas,

449
00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:45.400
and I have no recollection of what
happened, but there was some kind of

450
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:50.319
triggering event in my life two years
later that all of a sudden, I

451
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:52.160
went, Oh, my gosh,
I love Dallas. Dallas is the best

452
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:57.079
place on the planet. And I
it was. It was hilarious. I

453
00:32:57.079 --> 00:33:00.000
would go for these long walks on
Swiss Avenue and look at the live oak

454
00:33:00.119 --> 00:33:04.759
trees and think, these are the
most gorgeous trees ever. And I would

455
00:33:04.759 --> 00:33:07.519
look at the sunshine and sunshine every
day. This is a miracle. And

456
00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:13.319
everybody is so kind and warm and
friendly. I just loved the people of

457
00:33:13.400 --> 00:33:17.279
Dallas. And I remember so distinctly
flying into Dallas after doing the business trip,

458
00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:22.240
and I landed in the airport and
everyone looked so dressed up and so

459
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.400
nice, and I thought, the
people in Dallas take such good care of

460
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:32.400
themselves. Look that everyone. But
I mean, it's hilarious beliefs, because

461
00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:38.799
the thing is, Dallas never changed, got it right, Dallas was always

462
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:44.000
Dallas. The only thing that changed
was the way I looked at it,

463
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:49.279
yes, ma'am, m hm right. And so when the way I looked

464
00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:52.640
at it changed, the way I
showed up in this situations changed, so

465
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:57.039
that I met all of these wonderful
people. I started engaging in the world,

466
00:33:57.279 --> 00:34:00.599
because who's going to engage if you
believe that you don't along there?

467
00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:06.599
That's it, right, right?
That was a beautiful illustration, kimber La,

468
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:09.599
Do you really really situated that so
that I think people can understand that

469
00:34:09.880 --> 00:34:14.480
it's all about how we see things. It's all about how we see things.

470
00:34:14.559 --> 00:34:17.559
Now, then you map that to
personal power, right, if you

471
00:34:17.719 --> 00:34:22.760
believe something about yourself. Now,
our beliefs about ourselves come from so many

472
00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:29.360
different things. They come from our
experiences and our histories. Our brains start

473
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:32.119
making meaning of what people say to
us half the time is not making the

474
00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:38.719
right meaning. You know, we're
inferring things from comments. We're making decisions

475
00:34:38.760 --> 00:34:45.760
about ourselves. Right, Like when
I was a little girl, I had

476
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:49.880
very early on and I won't go
into the whole story about it, but

477
00:34:50.039 --> 00:34:54.679
very early on, I had decided
that I was an athletics. Yeah,

478
00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:59.599
I'm like, well, I'm just
not athletics. And so when it came

479
00:34:59.719 --> 00:35:02.480
to so, you know, elementary
school, all the other kids would be

480
00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:07.119
playing kickball on the playground and I'd
kind of hang in the back because of

481
00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:09.760
course I wasn't athletic, right,
And then when I went off to college

482
00:35:09.760 --> 00:35:14.880
and then we had to take dance
classes for my theater degree, I would

483
00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:16.719
be the one in the back trying
to not be noticed because you know,

484
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:22.119
I wasn't athletic, and I didn't
want people to know I'm not athletics.

485
00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:27.639
And I just never got involved in
anything that was that would require anything any

486
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:35.960
athleticism at all, because I of
course wasn't athletics. And then about gosh,

487
00:35:36.199 --> 00:35:38.599
when I was. It wasn't until
I was thirty seven years old when

488
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:44.239
I when I went to this I
heard the speaker talk about the three day

489
00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:47.719
Breast Cancer Walk, and I got
so inspired by what they were doing that

490
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:55.320
I registered to do this three day
walk. And when you do a three

491
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:59.119
day sixty mile walk, you have
to train, and you have to train

492
00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:02.400
really hard for this. You know
this because you do long distance running in

493
00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:07.119
these amazing events, But you have
to train. And I had never trained

494
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:10.360
for anything in my life. Right, And as I'm on, you know,

495
00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:15.199
day two of this this sixty mile
walk, and I've you know,

496
00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:21.039
I've walked nineteen miles that day and
then where they've got these huge hills and

497
00:36:21.119 --> 00:36:27.719
the heat, and I was walking
with like twenty five one hundred women,

498
00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:31.599
many of them who had been through
chemo or cancer survivors, some of them

499
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:37.559
had you know, had just had
just quit chemo, none of them complaining,

500
00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:40.639
you know, And it pushed me
to a level that I had never

501
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:47.280
pushed myself before. And when I
crossed that finish line after walking sixty miles

502
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:53.079
for the first time in my life, I thought, well, maybe I'm

503
00:36:53.079 --> 00:37:00.719
athletic after all, or not I
might not be athletic, but it was

504
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:07.679
no longer my truth, right,
because we can have into what you decide

505
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:12.800
about yourself, right, this is
what's possible for me, this is who

506
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:16.480
I am. And when you think
about how that affects the way you show

507
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:22.360
up in the world, it changes
everything. Yes, it does. I

508
00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:25.199
know that very well because of the
work that we do it Insignium, because

509
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:29.559
it's so much about, you know, the mindset that we show up,

510
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:31.920
we allow ourselves to show up with
and being present and cognizant to what is

511
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:37.280
that right, because half the battle
is being aware of what is that that

512
00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:42.800
we're telling ourselves. Absolutely, absolutely, So these are the things I find

513
00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:45.519
to be the biggest barriers to brave. It's the way we look at,

514
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:52.320
the way we focus our attention.
So we're focusing our attention on these these

515
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:58.280
decisions we've made about ourselves and these
decisions we've made about other people and the

516
00:37:58.320 --> 00:38:01.559
world and how we fit in.
Then we're going to live into that and

517
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:05.679
it's going to affect the way we
interact with other people, is going to

518
00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:10.079
affect what's possible for us, because
we won't put ourselves out there in a

519
00:38:10.119 --> 00:38:16.119
way that is going to be anything
different than what we've decided. Kimberly,

520
00:38:16.159 --> 00:38:20.719
that is a perfect way for us
to let our listeners sit and germinate while

521
00:38:20.719 --> 00:38:22.599
we go on and break here,
because what I want them to get is

522
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:24.360
I want them to get really clear
about being able to have access. I

523
00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:28.480
want them to see that you've given
them access to something for themselves. So

524
00:38:29.079 --> 00:38:30.840
hold the thoughts, listeners, take
a little bit of time to think about

525
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:34.920
that while we go on break.
I'm Alice Cortez, your host. We've

526
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.559
been on the air with Kimberly Davis, who was the founder of on Stage

527
00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:39.960
Leadership, who also gave a ted
X talk called what it Means to Be

528
00:38:40.039 --> 00:38:45.639
Brave. She's the author of Brave
Leadership Unleast You're most confident, authentic and

529
00:38:45.679 --> 00:38:49.119
powerful self to get the results you
need, which is endorsed by Dan Pink.

530
00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:51.760
After the break, we're going to
get more into how we can actually

531
00:38:51.840 --> 00:39:07.639
get to be more brave developing our
brave Stay with us Follow us on Twitter

532
00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:15.039
for more great ideas. At Voice
America Empowerments, Alise Cortes is a speaker

533
00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:20.639
and engagement and development catalyst. She
designs and delivers professional development, leadership and

534
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:24.639
engagement workshops and can bring her expertise
to your organization. She will help ignite

535
00:39:24.679 --> 00:39:30.159
meaningful development within your workforce that will
increase employee engagement, performance and retention.

536
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:35.440
To learn more or to invite Elise
to speak to your organization, please visit

537
00:39:35.480 --> 00:39:40.079
her at www dot elisecortes dot com. She would welcome the opportunity to help

538
00:39:40.119 --> 00:39:46.639
get your employees working on purpose.
We all have unique experiences and outlooks when

539
00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:52.559
it comes to leadership and team building, Yet sometimes we clash even when trying

540
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:57.880
to achieve the exact same goals.
Check out Unleash your Inner Goldilocks How to

541
00:39:57.920 --> 00:40:01.719
get it just right. Your hope
is doctor cass Henry. A shared journey

542
00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:07.320
equal success, and every human interaction
has the power to achieve the success by

543
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:13.599
working together. Tune in every Thursday
at four pm Eastern Time and one pm

544
00:40:13.639 --> 00:40:19.400
Pacific Time on the Voice America Empowerment
Channel. The human body has different levels

545
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:24.119
of interaction and communications, both at
an energetic and informational level. Understand the

546
00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:29.800
healing potential and the intelligence hidden within
these communications when you tune in too.

547
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:35.039
Human Potential and Life Force with Doctor
Sun are health conditions preventing you from achieving

548
00:40:35.039 --> 00:40:38.800
effective potential? Can life Force also
known as CHI, help your quality of

549
00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:44.880
life, relationships, and creativity.
Find the answers every Thursday at eleven am

550
00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:50.239
Pacific time two pm Eastern Time on
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. I think

551
00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:52.920
you've seen everything there is to see
in online television. Let us surprise me.

552
00:40:53.159 --> 00:40:58.119
Visit Voice America's on TV today for
sports, health, business and more

553
00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:09.599
on demand twenty four to seven.
This is Working on Purpose with Elise Cortes.

554
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:14.519
To reach our program today, please
call in to one triple eight three

555
00:41:14.599 --> 00:41:19.000
four six nine one four one.
Again, that's one triple eight three four

556
00:41:19.119 --> 00:41:24.400
six nine one four one. You
may also send an email to Elise Alisee

557
00:41:24.639 --> 00:41:32.559
at Elisecortes dot com. Now back
to Working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

558
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:36.760
with us, and welcome back to
Working on Purpose if you're just tuning in.

559
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.159
My guest is Kimberly Davis, who
is an expert on authentic leadership and

560
00:41:39.199 --> 00:41:45.320
shares her inspirational message of personal power, responsibility, and impact with organizations across

561
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:50.159
the country. She also teaches leadership
programs worldwide, including her program called On

562
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:52.920
Stage Leadership, which runs in New
York City and Dallas. She is the

563
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:57.599
author of the soon to be released
book called Brave Leadership. Unleash your most

564
00:41:57.639 --> 00:42:00.320
confident, authentic and powerful self to
get the results you need. And by

565
00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:05.199
the way, that comes out on
January sixteenth, twenty eighteenth. You can

566
00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:08.679
pre order it on Amazon dot Com
now. And Miss Kimberly joins us today

567
00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:13.840
from Austin, Texas. I'm your
host elis Cortes. Okay, so Kimberly.

568
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:15.800
In the beginning, we talked about
yes, jesuys, what what do

569
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:20.559
you want me to talk about?
So well, I am too say this

570
00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:22.360
is just really good stuff. So
we talked in the beginning about you know,

571
00:42:22.599 --> 00:42:25.880
why is leadership important? What's what
does brave mean? We talked about

572
00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:30.239
what gets in the way of brave. For this last segment, I want

573
00:42:30.519 --> 00:42:32.199
I want us to get to So
how do we get to brave? What

574
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:36.920
do we do? Yeah? Well, okay, so let me back up

575
00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.239
just a second. Release. You
know how when I talked about uh,

576
00:42:39.559 --> 00:42:45.679
I did theater for years, right
yep. And what I what I learned

577
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:51.280
in the theater is that when an
actor can get really crystal clear on this

578
00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:53.639
is this is what drives me,
this is this is what I stand for,

579
00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:59.039
and then they can focus all of
their attention instead of on the audience,

580
00:42:59.039 --> 00:43:00.800
instead of trying to these selfs,
instead of trying to get a good

581
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:05.519
review instead of what people think about
them. If they can take their minds

582
00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:10.280
off of that and instead focus all
of their attention on having some kind of

583
00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:16.960
impact on someone or something on the
stage with them, what it does is

584
00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:24.639
it automatically refocuses their brain, so
it overrides their amygdala, that part in

585
00:43:24.719 --> 00:43:29.880
your bod, that part in your
brain that's designed to keep you safe.

586
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:34.280
Right, our migdala is the center
for emotion management, and it is its

587
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:38.039
job is to make sure we survive. So anytime it senses risk, it's

588
00:43:38.079 --> 00:43:43.039
going to send those those physical sensations
through your body, which is going to

589
00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:46.559
have you do weird things and show
up different, show up strangely in life,

590
00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:51.280
and protect yourself and not be as
powerful as you can be. But

591
00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:55.960
what happens is if you can focus
your attention on action to achieve impact,

592
00:43:58.480 --> 00:44:02.559
it will override your amigdala, so
you don't experience any of those same sensations,

593
00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:07.800
that same sense, that vulnerability that
you feel. You don't experience that

594
00:44:08.119 --> 00:44:15.800
you're completely focused on taking action to
achieve purpose. It's connected to who you

595
00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:22.000
are internally. So a focus on
action to have an impact is what allows

596
00:44:22.119 --> 00:44:25.840
us to be brave, a focus
on action out to take to impact someone

597
00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:31.559
or something outside ourselves. Mm hmm, Kimberly, you know what you're reminding

598
00:44:31.599 --> 00:44:34.280
me of? Can I just say
this since? Do you tell me if

599
00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:37.199
I've got the right application to what
you just said? There? So I

600
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:40.719
have the wonderful ability to get to
go out and speak to various audiences.

601
00:44:40.760 --> 00:44:45.639
And I love to speak to women, especially about leadership and really being their

602
00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:49.280
true best selves and working on purpose
and through their passions. I love doing

603
00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:52.280
that. And of course there are
occasions when I get up a warning to

604
00:44:52.440 --> 00:44:55.679
go give one of those speeches,
and I don't feel fantastic, I don't

605
00:44:55.679 --> 00:45:00.280
feel brave, I don't feel like
I'm you know all that I want to

606
00:45:00.280 --> 00:45:02.199
be able to deliver a message like
that. So I got to get myself

607
00:45:02.239 --> 00:45:06.679
there right so I can deliver something
that will be useful to these women.

608
00:45:06.760 --> 00:45:08.280
And so what I tend to do
and I prepare for that and I get

609
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:13.800
myself I work on that place of
intention is I get myself into the place

610
00:45:13.800 --> 00:45:15.760
of doesn't matter where I'm at,
how I feel. What do I want

611
00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:21.320
to give these women today? What
can I do that will actually that's perfect

612
00:45:21.559 --> 00:45:23.400
Okay, Okay, okay, sample, yes, because what you're doing is

613
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:29.440
you're harnessing your attention m hm,
which helps you override your amingala. Right.

614
00:45:30.039 --> 00:45:35.159
So now when you're in space with
them, you can show up more

615
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:40.119
powerfully because your focus of attention is
completely on what am I giving to them

616
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:51.199
is active and connected to who you
are internally inherently. Okay, So this

617
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:52.960
what I think, because I have
obviously read some of your book, and

618
00:45:53.079 --> 00:45:57.559
I think what this is connecting to
is you've got a chapter in there called

619
00:45:57.599 --> 00:46:00.840
action from the Insight out. Is
this part of what you're drawing from?

620
00:46:01.159 --> 00:46:07.199
Yeah? Absolutely. So. One
of the ways we get to what drives

621
00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:09.840
us and what the language I use
around that is your super objective. What's

622
00:46:09.880 --> 00:46:15.039
the effect you want to have?
What's your super objective? Okay, yeah,

623
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:19.360
I remember that you're super objective.
Yeah. One of the ways we

624
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:22.480
get to the super objective it is
first to kind of unearth what are your

625
00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:27.639
beliefs and values and strengths and all
of that, because your super objective encompasses

626
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:30.239
all of those things, right,
And I don't know if you remember,

627
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:32.760
at least a few years ago,
there was a lot of talk out there

628
00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:38.159
about leadership philosophy, and people are
talking about what's your leadership philosophy, And

629
00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:45.800
leadership philosophy is largely your belief it's
and so an example of leadership philosophy would

630
00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:50.639
be I believe in respect and dignity
for all people, right, Okay,

631
00:46:51.519 --> 00:46:54.199
And that's a lovely thing to believe. Yeah, but you can believe that

632
00:46:54.719 --> 00:46:58.280
and believe that and believe that and
believe that, but it's not going to

633
00:46:58.360 --> 00:47:04.480
change anything. Right. Whereas a
super objective lives in action, you can't

634
00:47:04.519 --> 00:47:09.440
achieve a super objective from the sidelines. So if you were going to translate

635
00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:15.599
that into super objective language, you
might say, I champion respecting dignity for

636
00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:23.159
all people. Right, You cannot
champion from the sidelines. To champion is

637
00:47:23.199 --> 00:47:27.559
going to require you to take action. It's to champion, it's going to

638
00:47:27.599 --> 00:47:32.199
require you to stand up for someone
you believe is being treated disrespectfully. Right.

639
00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:38.760
If to champion respecting dignity is going
to force you to find something to

640
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:44.840
respect about people you may not like
very much, which can be really hard

641
00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:50.519
to do. Right, Right,
to champion respecting dignity for all people is

642
00:47:50.559 --> 00:47:54.719
going to require you to create conversation
and stir things up, and it's going

643
00:47:54.760 --> 00:47:59.119
to require action. And the action
is going to require is not always going

644
00:47:59.159 --> 00:48:02.320
to be easy action. It's going
to hold your feet to the fire because

645
00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:07.000
if you are truly a champion for
respecting dignity for all people, you have

646
00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:10.440
to you have to say, well, what what action can I take in

647
00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:16.719
this situation to do that? What
can I what can I do in this

648
00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:23.599
conversation to champion respecting dignity? What
can I do on this call to champion

649
00:48:23.679 --> 00:48:30.679
respecting dignity? What can I do
in this needing to champion respecting dignity for

650
00:48:30.760 --> 00:48:35.159
all people? Because if that's who
you truly are, then it should show

651
00:48:35.280 --> 00:48:38.480
up in every situation you face.
And then when you don't do that,

652
00:48:38.519 --> 00:48:42.679
because guess what, you're human,
you're going to you're going to miss the

653
00:48:42.719 --> 00:48:45.440
mark more times than you're going to
hit it. Probably, Then if you've

654
00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:49.760
got that clarity of thought, that
clarity is focused. What do I stand

655
00:48:49.800 --> 00:48:54.320
for? I stand for championing respect
and dignity for all people? Right?

656
00:48:54.480 --> 00:48:58.360
Did I do it in this in
this conversation? Yes? Or no?

657
00:48:58.360 --> 00:49:02.320
No? Okay? What action can
I take to get myself closer? So

658
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:06.400
I self as the person that I
know I truly am and want to be.

659
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.360
How do I clean it up?
It's just so yummy? It is

660
00:49:12.440 --> 00:49:15.280
so yummy. Now along those lines, we're getting close to the finish er.

661
00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:17.159
If you don't mind, what I'd
love to do because I know there's

662
00:49:17.199 --> 00:49:21.960
listeners who are listening to this and
they're they're getting the concepts, and I

663
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:23.840
know they're getting inspired by it.
But I also want to be able to

664
00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:28.039
give those listeners who want to walk
away with like a list or something like,

665
00:49:28.119 --> 00:49:30.519
you know, how can I put
this to work tomorrow? You have

666
00:49:30.599 --> 00:49:35.039
a chapter in your book that gets
to six steps to prepare for impact.

667
00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:37.519
Some of those things you've already talked
about, you've already mentioned some of them.

668
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:39.719
But for the benefit of listeners who
want to walk away with do these

669
00:49:39.760 --> 00:49:44.480
things that'll make a difference, would
you just quickly describe those six steps?

670
00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:47.559
Yeah? Absolutely, so. The
first thing you always always want to do

671
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:53.599
is to focus your attention. So
you want to get clear on what do

672
00:49:53.679 --> 00:49:58.559
the people need from you to experience
you is genuine worthy of trust, reliance

673
00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:05.199
and belief, right based on their
needs, not your agenda? Right?

674
00:50:05.239 --> 00:50:07.920
What do they need from you?
And then and then inherent in that is

675
00:50:07.920 --> 00:50:12.920
you. Also part of focusing your
attention is getting clear what's the impact you

676
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:15.400
want to have? Yep, So
what do they need from you to experience

677
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:19.519
you with genuine where your trust,
alliance and belief? What's the impact you

678
00:50:19.559 --> 00:50:22.239
want to have. If you can
focus your attention on that and make sure

679
00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:28.159
your actions are in alignment with that, the byproduct is you will connect to

680
00:50:28.199 --> 00:50:31.760
their wants m m okay, right. They'll want to participate, they'll want

681
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:34.599
to listen, they want to follow, they want to be a part of

682
00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:37.840
what you're doing. The next thing
you need to make sure you're doing is

683
00:50:37.880 --> 00:50:43.519
you want to prepare authentically for that
experience. Right, So what do they

684
00:50:43.559 --> 00:50:45.159
need from you to experience you as
genuine, worthy your trust, reliance,

685
00:50:45.159 --> 00:50:51.639
and belief. How do you prepare
for that? You want to make sure

686
00:50:51.800 --> 00:50:55.559
that that if you're meeting with your
boss, you've prepared in a way that

687
00:50:55.599 --> 00:51:00.280
she will experience you as worthy of
trust. Got it? You know what

688
00:51:00.320 --> 00:51:04.760
information? What data? What?
Stories? What? What? What?

689
00:51:04.760 --> 00:51:07.880
What? What kind of preparation do
you need to do for that situation?

690
00:51:08.360 --> 00:51:14.119
So using that definition of authenticity to
help you prepare and the next thing you

691
00:51:14.159 --> 00:51:17.199
want to do is you really want
to come in as your best self,

692
00:51:17.280 --> 00:51:22.719
so you want to make sure you
breathe and remove all tensions. So here's

693
00:51:22.760 --> 00:51:27.880
a really interesting thing, at least
you know. It's when when we when

694
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:32.679
we get nervous or anxious or overwhelmed
or stressed, our breathing gets naturally more

695
00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:37.280
and more shallow, so we start
uh cutting off our breaths. And what's

696
00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:43.880
really interesting about that is that our
brains need oxygen to function, yes,

697
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:46.920
And so people think, oh,
yeah, you don't need to talk to

698
00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:51.119
me about breathing. I've got the
breathing thing down. Yet at the same

699
00:51:51.199 --> 00:51:55.000
time, when we're stressed, when
we're overwhelmed, when we're anxious, we

700
00:51:55.000 --> 00:52:00.320
we naturally do that as a survival
mechanism. Okay, So the very first

701
00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:05.039
thing you want to do, truly
in any situation space, especially if the

702
00:52:05.079 --> 00:52:09.320
stakes are high, is to just
ground yourself and breathe. Okay, And

703
00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:13.519
then the next thing you want to
do is to remove all tension, because

704
00:52:13.599 --> 00:52:17.719
tension blocks authentic expression. You can't
go into a situation if you're carrying a

705
00:52:17.719 --> 00:52:22.559
lot of tension. And we all
carry tension in different places in our bodies,

706
00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:24.199
so some of us carry tension in
our shoulders, some of us in

707
00:52:24.239 --> 00:52:29.400
our hands, most in our necks, some of us in our jaws.

708
00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:34.079
It's really important that you can name
where do I personally carry my tension,

709
00:52:34.639 --> 00:52:38.079
so you can release that tension before
you go in. You can roll your

710
00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:43.159
shoulders back, so you take a
deep breath, you ground yourself, you

711
00:52:43.239 --> 00:52:49.360
roll your shoulders until you release the
tension so you can go in and be

712
00:52:49.599 --> 00:52:54.000
physically physically where you need to be
in order to connect to the want of

713
00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:58.239
others. And then you need to
go in. And we talked about this

714
00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:04.440
earlier and the appsoletely present. When
when I say present, I mean you

715
00:53:04.519 --> 00:53:08.719
need to be so present that the
stakes are your your that the stakes are

716
00:53:08.719 --> 00:53:12.079
like your life is on the line. You want to connect us that your

717
00:53:12.119 --> 00:53:15.199
life is on the line. Because
what happens is we go in and we

718
00:53:15.280 --> 00:53:20.039
have our own agenda and we're not
paying attention to what other people need.

719
00:53:20.079 --> 00:53:22.239
What's going on with the other person? Have they heard what we've had to

720
00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:30.840
say, And we cannot connect to
the want of others if we don't,

721
00:53:30.960 --> 00:53:37.519
if we if we if if we're
not with them, they it's it's impossible.

722
00:53:37.880 --> 00:53:45.079
So I find it really interesting when
I teach executive presence, the very

723
00:53:45.119 --> 00:53:50.000
first thing I say is that presence
requires you to be present. And it's

724
00:53:50.039 --> 00:53:53.079
even in the definition of presence.
So people think presence is all about charisma.

725
00:53:53.199 --> 00:54:00.719
Presence is absolutely all about being absolutely
mentally in the here and now with

726
00:54:00.840 --> 00:54:04.199
the people you're with. And that
is one of the hardest things to do

727
00:54:04.239 --> 00:54:07.840
in the workplace today because there's so
much going on because of the luka environment.

728
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:12.920
Right. Yeah, And then you
are so present that you're able to

729
00:54:12.960 --> 00:54:16.320
pay attention to impact. So step
number five is pay attention to impact.

730
00:54:16.519 --> 00:54:20.199
You will if you go in and
you say, what is the impact I

731
00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:22.800
want to have. I want to
champion respect and dignity for our people.

732
00:54:22.840 --> 00:54:25.400
Well, did I have that impact? Yes or no? Got it?

733
00:54:25.480 --> 00:54:29.559
Yeah, Because if you're not paying
attention to impact, you won't be able

734
00:54:29.559 --> 00:54:32.119
to course correct Kimberly, we're almost
out of time, and I'll make sure

735
00:54:32.119 --> 00:54:35.920
we can actually announce where to find
this. So the last one I know

736
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.360
is create the last one to create
rituals. Just make sure you're putting things

737
00:54:38.360 --> 00:54:42.760
in place to keep you mindful of
the things you need to do to bring

738
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:46.559
your best Let's authentic and powerful self
to the table and that's a perfect way

739
00:54:46.599 --> 00:54:50.199
actually right there for us to finish. I want to just let you be

740
00:54:50.239 --> 00:54:53.239
able to take that breath and take
your bow and let me thank you for

741
00:54:53.280 --> 00:54:57.400
being on the show and sharing your
passion, your wisdom what you can teach

742
00:54:57.400 --> 00:55:00.159
the listeners across the globe about brave
leadership. Kimberly Davis, thank you for

743
00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:04.760
joining me today. I'm working on
purpose. Thank you, Lise. This

744
00:55:04.960 --> 00:55:08.199
was a great fun. It was
great fun, always great fun. Okay,

745
00:55:08.239 --> 00:55:10.840
so listeners, remember I mentioned this
earlier. If you want to get

746
00:55:10.840 --> 00:55:15.000
a copy of her book, Brave
Leadership, it comes out January sixteenth,

747
00:55:15.039 --> 00:55:19.320
but you can pre order today on
Amazon dot com. If you want to

748
00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:22.119
learn more about Kimberly Davis and her
leadership courses or her seem to be released

749
00:55:22.119 --> 00:55:29.880
book, visit her website. It's
onstage leadership dot com. Now. Next

750
00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:32.320
week, we will be on the
air with the founder and fireball of a

751
00:55:32.400 --> 00:55:37.239
Coola project. Her name is Brittany
Merrill Underwood. We'll be talking about the

752
00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:39.920
work she and her team are doing
to empower women across the globe to transform

753
00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:45.480
families by addressing poverty through her nonprofit
organization based Terran Dallas. She was alerted

754
00:55:45.519 --> 00:55:49.679
to me by one of my students
at Southern Memphis University. When I talked

755
00:55:49.679 --> 00:55:52.159
about purpose and passion in the classrooms, I kicked it off. One of

756
00:55:52.159 --> 00:55:53.920
the students put her hand up in
the back. She said, Oh,

757
00:55:53.920 --> 00:55:57.480
I've got someone you've got to talk
with. So that is who I'll be

758
00:55:57.480 --> 00:56:00.800
sharing with you on the show next
week. So join us in remember that

759
00:56:00.840 --> 00:56:09.239
workers won through our lives, So
let's work on Purpose. We hope you've

760
00:56:09.320 --> 00:56:14.400
enjoyed this week's program. Be sure
to tune into Working on Purpose, featuring

761
00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:19.559
your host Elise Cortes, every Wednesday
at six pm Eastern Time three pm Pacific

762
00:56:19.639 --> 00:56:23.159
Time on the Voice America Empowerment Channel. This week, find your life's purpose

763
00:56:23.559 --> 00:56:24.079
at work.