Encore: Kimberly Davis on Brave Leadership

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to

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Working on Purpose. Thanks for tuning
in again this week. I'm your host,

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Elise Cortes, joining you from Dallas, Texas, which is home base

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for me. This program is all
about helping people more meaningfully and productively connect

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with their work and equipping organizations to
do the same for their employees. So

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I bring on guests who have a
particular perspective or experience that I think expands

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the conversation about meaningful and productive work. And I often draw on the meaning

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of work research I've been doing over
the last fifteen years, as well as

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my own experienced consulting, including the
work I do it Insignium, which is

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a global management consulting firm. I'll
get to the program in just a second,

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but let me thank my media partner
and sponsor, jobbing dot com.

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They are the leading locally focused job
board in the nation and they are dedicated

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helping employers find quality talent in their
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their search they can find work close
to home. Great partnership. Thank you

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jobbing dot Com. Last week,
if you missed the show, we were

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on the air with Sean Anderson,
by far and away my favorite and I

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think the only extra Mile America,
an Extra Mile World motivational author and speaker.

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We had an in depth conversation about
what it takes to live a great

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life, and we each shared our
perspectives on the topic. It was hopelessly

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fun and we each walked away a
little bit more inspired to live the best

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live says we each were informed by
the other. So if you miss that

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show, go back and grab the
podcast. By the way, if you

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want to receive alerts in advance of
my live radio show conversations to know what's

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coming, you can join my mailing
list by visiting my website at Aliscortes dot

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com, navigating to the blog tab, and then under my photo entering your

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name and email address. Now with
us this week is Kimberly Davis, who

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is an expert on authentic leadership and
shares her inspirational message of personal power,

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responsibility, and impact with organizations across
the country. She also teaches leadership programs

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worldwide, including her own program called
on Stage Leadership, which runs in New

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York City and Dallas. She's the
author of the soon to be released book

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called Brave Leadership. Unleash your most
confident, authentic and powerful self to get

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the results you need. We'll be
talking about her actual books, so you

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get kind of a sneak preefy before
it comes out in the beginning of next

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year. Kimberly joins today from Austin, Texas. Kimberly Davis, Welcome back

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to Working on Purpose, a Las
Cortes. I am so excited to be

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on your show with your listeners again
this year. I am too, darn

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it. So I'm going to just
extract as much as I can out of

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you before I let you go in
the next hour. So on your mark

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gets set go. You ready,
okay? I am ready. Okay.

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Since both of us work in the
field of leadership and we do it from

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different vantage points, I think it's
important we kind of segment and start and

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anchor the show in that So I
want to talk a little bit broadly about

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leadership. So from your dvantage point, why do you think it's important for

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any of us to develop the leader
in us? Well, you know,

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I think when you sent me this
question and I was thinking about it,

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I thought, you know, one
of my favorite quotes ever is a Jim

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Roan quote, and he talks about
Jim Jim Roan talks about being a millionaire,

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right, and that's not really what
I think is that important. But

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what he says is become a millionaire
because of what it will make of you.

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And I think that is true about
leadership. I think become a leader

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because of what it will make of
you, because to be a great leader,

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it will require you to bring your
most influential and your best self to

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the world. And I can't think
of a better reason for all of us

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to nurture that part of ourselves.
I love that start Camberley. That's gorgeous.

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And you know, one of the
things that I know from being a

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researcher around investing how people experience meaning
in their work is most people, at

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some level what they want to do
at the end of the day is they

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want to matter, right, they
want to make a difference. And the

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way you just position that is about
making a difference. And I think that's

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a great way to start this conversation. Thank you. Well, it really

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is. It's all about making a
difference and making an impact. Yeah,

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okay, Well along those lines,
one of the things that I've always found

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amazing about you is you have this
phrase, is saying that as leaders,

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we're always on stage, which is
a vulnerable place to be, right,

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We're in that spotlight. People are
looking at us. Now. You even

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named your leadership development company on stage
leadership. So before we get into your

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book, because I got to imagine
some of your book has come from your

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experience of leading that company. Why
did you start your company and what do

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your participants get from participating? Well, so we have to back up a

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little bit because I got a lot
of my insights from the actual stage.

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I did theater for like twenty years, and so what I noticed when I

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was in this theater is that people
you feel pretty vulnerable on the stage when

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people are scrutinizing you, and people
are watching you, and you think people

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are judging you, and you want
to prove yourself. And so when we

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are in our leadership role, we
are also always on stage because people are

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always watching, they're always paying attention, They're always paying attention to what you

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say and what you don't say,
and what you do and you don't do,

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and every minute of every day they're
either choosing you as to be a

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leader or not. And so when
I started putting together my company, I

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drew from tools that we used in
this theater because actors were in that vulnerable

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space and because they applied directly to
leadership, because leaders are always on stage,

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and even if they don't recognize the
fact, they still are always in

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the spotlight. Well, and I
certainly one of the things that I want

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to call out and thank you again
for your support over the years is I

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have been in my own leadership role, as community service leadership or various others.

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You are always there reminding me of
that and helping and cheering me on

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and giving me tools and resources along
the way. So you have been someone

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who has coached me from this,
you know, from the backstage, So

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thank you for that. Well,
I have been the one who has been

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lucky enough to cheer you on because
You've been pretty extraordinary in your efforts.

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So yeah, that's an easy thing
to do. Elisee, Well, thank

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you, my friend. And the
fact that we now get to share this

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vision with everybody else who read your
book, I'm thrilled about that. And

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and to that end, as we
talk about leadership, you know, the

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other end of leadership. And I
had somebody on my show earlier who was

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talking about the actual follower piece of
this whole equation. But you say in

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your book that a leader is somebody
who people want to follow, not have

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to follow. Will you say more
about that? Yeah, So some of

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this, some of what defines leadership
today, or what I feel defines leadership

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today, is the environment that we're
in. And so what is needed from

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a leader today is so different than
it was ten to fifteen years ago,

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because it's a different world than it
was ten to fifty years ago. Ten

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to fifteen years ago, there was
something called security in the workforce, right.

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You know, you could get a
job out of college and you would

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stay at the same job for your
entire career and retire with your gold watch

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and your pension, and all would
be great. But you know, there

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is no such thing as security in
the workforce anymore, and now in the

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workplace is moving faster than ever.
There's more uncertainty than there's ever been before,

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as volatile things are very ambiguous.
There's absolutely The HR world has a

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acronym that they like to use,
which I think it is pretty great.

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It's they call it the VUKA environment
for volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous.

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So it's this VUKA environment that has
really shifted what we need from from

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leaders because in the past, a
leader could pretty much just just use command

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and control. They could say,
you know, do this or has it

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going to roll? But nowadays,
if you were to try that in the

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workforce, and you know, i'd
be foolish to say that isn't happening in

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the workforce today, but it doesn't
work successfully nowadays. If you try command

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and control when people don't feel safe, what are they going to do.

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They're going to stop participating, They're
going to stop bring themselves out there.

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They're not going to call out when
they see a problem. They're not going

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to bring their best because they're going
to do everything they can to just stay

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off the radar, so they can
say stay stay right right right right.

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So yeah, so and if you
apply command and controls all of different emotions

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they're playing out in the workforce,
it just doesn't give you the results that

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you need. So when you counter
that to what will give you the results

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that you need, you really need
to harness the emotional energy in a positive

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way in the workforce. And I
think of that as choice. People need

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people choose to follow you, No, not have to follow you. You

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don't get a paycheck exchange. You
get their wants, their heart. They're

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going to give you the best that
they have to give. If you don't

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have access to their want, all
you're going to get is a warm body

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there to collect the paycheck, put
in their hours. Okay, this is

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so good, Kimberly, if you
don't mind, I want to represence what

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you said before. I've never heard
that acronym, by the way, and

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I think it's really really important that
our listeners really get this because it's so

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important to be able to really give
a context for the way we experience in

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how we do our work today,
especially if you contrast that to say,

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fifteen twenty years ago. And keep
in mind that this show is listened to

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across the globe, so there are
various countries and various developments that hear this

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show, and many of them are
you know, may still be in that

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command and control and moving away from
it. So this is fascinating, right,

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So tell us again about that,
well, and what's what's the evolution?

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Where are things going to go or
might go? Depends on the culture.

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Yeah, yeah, So the actronom
again is what did you say?

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It's the VUKA v u c A
v u c A okay, and again

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that stands for volatile, uncertain,
complex and ambiguous. Okay. This is

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so important to be able to situate
why well, why a new way of

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leading is so important? Okay,
So before we get into really you know

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what you mean by brave, I
guess what I want to get into next

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is you talk about the importance of
unlocking the wanton followers. And I heard

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you talk about, you know,
that whole being able to harness the positive

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emotional energy from the workplace as opposed
to coming from a place of fear and

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an uncertainty. And you know,
I appreciate the way you position that,

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Kimberly, because you're right, when
we go into a place of fear,

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we generally kind of cower into the
corner usually, right, that's how right?

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How many of us will respond when
we're afraid? Exactly? Hey,

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Alice, have I ever shared with
you? There's a great metaphor that Dan

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and Chip Heaths used in their book
Switch No it's hard. Yeah, it's

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a fantastic it's a fantastic metaphor.
And so in their books, which they

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compare our emotions to that of a
three ton elephant, right, and they

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compare our logic to the little guy
who's perched on top of the elephant,

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you know, the elephant writer.
Now, when the elephant and the elephant

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writer want to go in the same
direction, everything is cool, right,

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all right? So got it?
What happens when the elephant wants to go

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in a different direction than the writer? Who's going to win? I think

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the elephant's kind of win the elephant
every time, right, exactly, elephant

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every time. And the funny thing
is is it in our workplace we say,

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you know, leave your emotions at
the door. There's no room for

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emotions here. But the truth is
is if you're not paying attention to the

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work, the emotion and the workforce, it's like the elephant, it's going

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to run right over you, it's
going to make a big mess. It's

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the big problem if you don't deal
with it. And so we and I'm

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not suggesting that it's all about the
elephant. We've got to find a healthy

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alignment between our emotions and our Logy's
got to have a very healthy respect for

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the fact that this is what's showing
up in our workforce, that when people

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are in a meeting and they're feeling
stressed and overwhelmed and frightened and worried about

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their jobs, and this is and
how does that manifest? Oh my gosh,

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So Kimberly, just really quick,
just just to kind of bring this

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home for people. So when we're
working with organizations and insignium, of course

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we're really we're very present to the
importance and the profundity of emotions in the

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workplace. Right, They're certainly not
to be ignored. There to be understood

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and presence in a way that it
will be effective and efficient and yield the

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results that you want. But first
we got to be aware of what they

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actually are. So they're oftentimes hanging
around there in the background, and you

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know, we don't really know about
that. The trick is to be able

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to really bring them into the foreground
so we can actually give a name to

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them, call them, recognize them
for what they are, right, and

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then be able to address them whether
they're showing up negatively or positively for us.

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So I just think I really want
to applaud what you're saying about this

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emotional piece in the workplace. And
I remember the days when people used to

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say, it's not it's not personal, it's just business. Get past it.

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Yeah, remember that well? And
truly, how can you how can

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you connect to the want of others
if you don't know what they're what's going

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on with them emotionally exactly? Really
hand well, and especially as leaders,

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right, because you talked about catalyzing
results through positive emotions. Okay, yeah,

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that's right. Okay, Well then
along those lines speaking of emotions,

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I mean, you've written a whole
book about brave leadership. So what do

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you mean by brave? Well,
okay, so let me first say what

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the dictionary means by brave, because
you're totally different from what I think of

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brave as right, And you wonder
at least why you think of when you

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go into a situation where you need
to put yourself out there when you need

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to do something scary, you need
to give a presentation or have a really

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tough conversation with someone. Why you
feel that kind of I want to throw

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up feeling? You know, I
need to be brave here. I need

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to be brave here. But it
doesn't feel like a good thing, right.

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Your experience of I need to be
brave doesn't feel positive. It feels

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really icky in your stomach, right, And so I was like, why

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is that? And so I actually
looked it up in the dictionary and they

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define brave is ready to face fear
and endure danger or pain. Oh my

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gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, really, who gets excited

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about that? I want to get
up in the morning and face me some

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danger and pain. I can't wait
for that, right, sign me up.

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It's it's a way of looking at
it that is going to completely disempower

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you. Right. So I knew
that if that's how I looked at being

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brave, that it would stop me
in my tracks because I don't want to

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base and endure danger or pain anymore
than anybody else does. Right, So

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I knew I needed to reframe it
for myself. And so the way I

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define brave is your best, most
authentic and powerful self. And it's a

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lot more complex than it sounds,
you know, right at first, because

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when you know, I think about
when I think about my best self,

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right, my best self is not
someone who's disrespectful or unkind. My best

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self is someone who's blaming other or
showing contempt. My best self is more

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patient, more curious, caring,
positive, constructive, probably articulate, definitely

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more hopeful than otherwise. Right.
If brave is anchored in your best self,

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it forces you to take responsibility for
yourself. What I so appreciate about

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what you're saying, So go ahead
to hear only something else ahead? Yeah,

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no, no, no, go
ahead, go ahead. Well what

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I was going to put that into
the context? I literally, just before

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getting on the ERA with you,
finished a coaching call with one of one

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of our clients. And she's really
also she's she is an executive leader,

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and she wants to continue developing her
persona, her message, and she really

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understands the importance of being able to
develop that inspirational, motivational aspect of who

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she is a leader, to be
able to bring people along and make them

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want to come with her on the
journey. And so When I hear you

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talk about this whole notion of brave
leadership, what I hear is like a

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reaching through to be able to grab
people, to grab them along the journey

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with you. That's what I hear
when you talk. Because connecting to their

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want is a byproduct. Right If
I can bring my brave self, my

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best, most authentic and powerful self, the byproduct of that is they want

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to follow. The byproduct of that
is they want to engage, they want

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to give their best, they want
to be a part of whatever it is

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undoing, They want to listen.
Right, But it's a byproduct. You

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can go, you go after I
want people to listen to me, and

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you're not going to show but a
way that they actually want to listen to

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you, right right, But if
you show up as your best, most

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authentic and powerful self, the byproduct
is that they will want to listen to

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you. Mm hmm. And isn't
it amazing? And here's what's really great

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about that? And perfect time because
we're just about to go for a break

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here. But what's great about that, Kimberly, is that when I think

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about like the best times when I've
ever been in front of a group and

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I wanted them to come with me. I know they're with me by how

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they're looking at me. Right,
there's an energy exchange that happens, right,

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And I think that's what you're describing. And then you mentioned you know

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the byproduct piece of that, then
you know you've already e've hit it.

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But that connection of the eyeballs and
the heartbeat that goes with it, I

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think is what you're talking about.
Yes, absolutely, it's the heartbeat.

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When you said the heart beat,
it's all emotion, it's all elephants want

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lives in the heart. I mean, you can logic your way out of

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00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:33.160
it, but if you don't want
it, you can't stake it. Right,

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No want I love that, And
what a perfect way to take us

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into the break. So hopefully we'll
get folks still want more. I'm a

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las Cortes, your host Wave on
the air with Kimberly Davis, who is

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the founder of on Sage Leadership,
who also gave a ted ex called What

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00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:52.680
it Means to Be Brave. She's
the author of Brave Leadership Unleash your most

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00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:56.000
confident, authentic and powerful self to
get the results you need, which is

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00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:59.720
endorsed by Dan pink. We've been
talking a bit about what it means to

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be and how that why this is
important today's workplace. After the break,

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we're going to get into what gets
in the way of being brave. Stay

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00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:23.240
with us Friend us on Facebook to
keep up with what's empowering the world.

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00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:30.680
Voice America Empowerment. Lalis Cortes is
a speaker and engagement and development catalyst.

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00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:37.359
She designs and delivers professional development,
leadership and engagement workshops and can bring her

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00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:41.519
expertise to your organization. She will
help ignite meaningful development within your workforce that

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00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:47.519
will increase employee engagement, performance and
retention. To learn more or to invite

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00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:52.200
Elise to speak to your organization,
please visit her at www dot Elisecortes dot

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00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:57.200
com. She would welcome the opportunity
to help get your employees working on purpose.

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Are I heared of strained relationships that
don't work? We all have at

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least one a family member, of
friend, or coworker we struggle to understand

283
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and deal with. Now you can
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skills. Tune into Relationship Radio with
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the rules of business? He may
think you're doing everything by the book,

289
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following your own best practice bilads,
bringing in endless consultants, only to find

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00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:45.039
that your business is not moving forward. That's where you need to stop and

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figure out where things are going wrong. Enter Business Rules with host Peter Feinstein.

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Peter and his guest will break it
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and your business succeed. Listen Wednesdays
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Time on Voice America Harment. It's
your world, Motivate, change, Succeed.

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Voice America Empowerment dot com. This
is Working on Purpose with Elise Cortes.

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To reach our program today, please
call in to one triple eight three

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send an email to Eleise A. L

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Se at Elisecortes dot com. Now
back to Working on Purpose. Thanks for

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00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:48.599
staying with us, and welcome back. To working on purpose if you're just

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00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:52.119
joining us. My guest is Kimberly
Davis, who is an expert on authentitic

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00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:56.400
leadership and shares her inspirational message of
personal power, responsibility, and impact with

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organizations across the country. She also
teaches leadership program worldwide, including her program

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00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:06.039
called on Stage Leadership, which runs
in New York City and Dallas. She's

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00:22:06.039 --> 00:22:08.640
the author of the soon to be
a released book called Brave Leadership. Unleash

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00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:11.839
your most confident, authentic and powerful
self to get the results you need.

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She joined us today from Austin,
Texas. I'm your host, Alice Cortes.

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So as we continue this conversation,
Miss Kimberly, I think it probably

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is not a bad idea for us
to talk about authenticity and for those listeners

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that maybe think they know what that
means, I want to get them on

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the same page as what you want
it to be. What do you mean

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by authenticity? Yeah, well,
I find just signing brave is your best,

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most authentic and powerful self. I
guess we probably should talk about what

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it means to be authentic, because
authenticity is one of those words that gets

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bandied about so much that we love. What does that mean, right.

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I mean if you anybody who's been
on Facebook on any day of the week

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could look at can find a post
that says be authentic, be yourself,

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doesn't matter what anybody thinks. And
that's all great and good, except for

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in the framework of leadership and influence
it doesn't work. So I actually steal

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my definition of authenticity from a guy
named Bill George. And mister George used

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to be the CEO from the Tronic
and Elli's on the Harvard works for the

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Harvard Business School for the School of
Management, and he wrote a book called

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Authentic Leadership, so he gets to
be the guru of authentic leadership. He

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also wrote True North, which is
his most recent book, and it's got

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a lot of acclaim. But mister
George's definition of authenticity is are you genuine

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worthy of trust, reliance and belief? And what makes that so complex is

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that you don't get to decide.
You don't get to decide if you're genuine,

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worthy of trust, reliance and belief. The people around you get to

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decide. Do they experience you this? Do your listeners experience you as worthy

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of belief? Does your boss experience
you as believable? As genuine You don't

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get to decide that other people get
to decide. And that makes it really,

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really complex, because what your boss
is going to need from you to

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experience you as worthy of trust is
going to be very different than something your

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colleagues might need from you, or
what your client is going to need from

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you. Yeah, and so it
doesn't mean, now, let me be

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very clear about this. It doesn't
mean you become this chameleon kind of person

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and I'll be whatever you want me
to be and whatever you want me to

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be. No, what it means
is that you have to have a healthy

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respect for the fact that every human
being you come in contact with is going

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to have a different set of needs, and so for them to experience you

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as genuine worthy of trust, reliance
and belief, you have to be able

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to connect to those needs. And
what I'm getting from that, Miss Kimberly,

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you tell me if I've got this
right. Based because you're the one

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that knows this better and you've been
up to your eyeballs really studying this and

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thinking about how to talk about it. It seems to me that since you're

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trying to appeal across to all that
different that those sets of needs. What

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you're really probably doing, if you're
really active from a place of authenticity,

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is you're activating the parts of yourself
that speak to those things, if you

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can absolutely absolutely Yeah. So for
example, Elise, I tend to be

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a pretty gregarious person. I'm,
you know, pretty bubbly and and vivacious,

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some people might describe me. But
when I go to speak to let's

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say, I'm going to speak to
a group of bankers, I've really kind

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of got to dial myself back a
little bit. And that doesn't mean I'm

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changing who I am, but that
means if I go in there and hey,

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hi, you doing, They're not
going to be able to hear me.

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And if my job is to connect
to their want so they can learn

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what I have to share and benefit
from the tools I have to offer,

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then I cannot I cannot lose sight
of the fact that what they need from

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me is to show up in a
way that is not going to be so

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foreign for them. Mm hmmm m. And then then as we develop our

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relationship, I get more latitude to
to let myself cut myself loose a little

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bit, let your hair down,
if you will, uh huh yeah.

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Yeah. But I've already established trust
and rapport, then they've already experienced me

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as genuine worthy of trust, reliance
and beliefs. M But I haven't.

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I have to go in very mindful
what do these people need from me?

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What does this person need for me? What does this person need for me

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to experience me as genuine worthy tress, reliance and belief. And what that

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requires is that at every minute,
you're always having to pay attention to the

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impact that you're having on other people. It empathy and action. Yeah,

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being very present to that is really
a true talent, a true skill to

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be able to be really present to
that in the moment right. It can

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be so hard to do to a
last It is something that it takes constant

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mindfulness and sometimes, you know,
sometimes I'll miss it and I won't realize

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that I've missed it. But my
focus of attention has to be so clear

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that I want to connect to that. Mm hmmmmm. I totally got that.

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And of course we all miss that
sometimes. But to the extent that

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we can be is mindful and conscious
as we can going into these situations right,

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the better serve that we are right
right absolutely, And what's so great

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about that definition is I think it
helps with everything. It becomes a filter

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for preparation. So, how do
you prepare for a one on one with

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your boss so he will experience you
or she will experience you this genuine really

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00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:03.119
you trust reliance and belief? How
do you prepare for a shareholder meeting so

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they experience you as genuine worthy you
trust, reliance and belief? How do

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you dress so they experience you as
worthy of trust? What kind of language

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do you use when you when you're
in that situation? It becomes a filter

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00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:23.240
for everything, And I like it
so much better than categorizing the situational leadership

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forces you. I'm not going to
put my visionary hat on I am,

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I'm going to put my coaching hat
on. This requires you, It requires

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you to exercise all of those parts
of yourself based on what other people need.

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Mm hmmmm hm. I so get
that, And that is so powerful

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to presence that kimberly before we actually
get into brave. So I love that.

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So anything else on authenticity before we
actually dive into the barriers to brave.

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No, I think I think that
we've I think that we've given given

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them enough to be dangerous Okay,
good, that's what we want. We

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want our listeners to be dangerous to
stuff is good. Go forth and be

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00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:03.200
dangerous with this stuff. Yeah,
okay, Well I thought it was really

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important, you know, you and
I were chatting on the break just to

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make sure that we could really position
the authenticity piece of this, because it's

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part of what you have in your
in your definition of brave. So you

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00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:15.839
know, you you there's a there's
a whole section about, you know,

401
00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:19.480
barriers to brave in your book,
and I want to be able to present

402
00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:22.279
this for our listeners about what's the
kind of stuff that gets in the way

403
00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:26.920
of us being brave. So let's
talk a bit about that that section there.

404
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:29.839
What gets in the way? Kimberly, Yeah, I think so the

405
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:33.160
biggest thing that gets in the way
is how we see the world, our

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00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:34.640
focus of attention, how we see
ourselves and how we see the world.

407
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What are we paying attention to?
Okay, so how you see yourself.

408
00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:47.960
So our focus will trigger our feelings, which will trigger our behaviors. So

409
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:52.119
if you're focused on being afraid,
if you're focused on what people might think,

410
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:55.319
you focus on people, you might
make a mistake or you might look

411
00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:59.440
stupid, right, The feelings that
are going to come up for you are

412
00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:02.039
going to be a lot lot of
anxiety. You're going to you're going to

413
00:30:02.599 --> 00:30:07.359
you're going to feel a lot of
fear. What's going to happen, then,

414
00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:11.960
is your the amygdala in your brain, the part of your brain and

415
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:15.920
the frontal cortex that is in charge
for all emotion Management's going to send all

416
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.359
of this cortisol, the stress hormone
right through your body. And so you're

417
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:22.400
going to start experiencing your stomach's going
to clench, and your hands might sweat,

418
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:26.240
and your muscles might tense up,
and your breast might your breathing might

419
00:30:26.279 --> 00:30:30.000
get short, right, So you'll
have a physiological reaction to it as well.

420
00:30:30.359 --> 00:30:36.880
And when you have this physiological reaction, then then then that will inform

421
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:41.039
how you show up in the world, right, and it will inform the

422
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:45.640
actions that you take. So when
we feel these things physiologically, we'll start

423
00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:51.720
to do things to protect ourselves or
or well we'll go into the fight or

424
00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:56.519
flight mode, or well we'll want
to push so we try to overcome those

425
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:00.400
feelings, but it will affect the
way we behave in the world. So

426
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:03.400
our focus triggers are behaviors, which
triggers our focus. Triggers are feelings,

427
00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:07.240
which triggers are behaviors. Well,
let me your results. Yeah, that's

428
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:12.000
exactly right, gotcha. Example.
So, as you know, Elice,

429
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:18.039
I moved from Seattle to Dallas.
Gosh, I want to say it was

430
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:23.079
about Beto over ten years ago.
So I moved from Seattle to Dallas ten

431
00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:27.160
years ago. Seattle Dallas very very
different cities, as you know, because

432
00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.559
you've lived in both cities, right, Yes, I have. When I

433
00:31:30.599 --> 00:31:34.680
first moved to Dallas. Nothing personal
my friends in Dallas, but I hated

434
00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:41.400
Dallas. I hated Dallas for like
two solid years because I had I decided

435
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:45.079
very very early on that I don't
belong in Dallas, right, so I

436
00:31:45.119 --> 00:31:48.599
would I would go to the grocery
store. Now, Seattle is like this

437
00:31:48.720 --> 00:31:52.279
really casual culture. You could wear
fleas to a five star restaurant, right,

438
00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:53.920
you go to the grocery store.
In Dallas, people are wearing you

439
00:31:53.960 --> 00:31:57.680
know, three and child four and
chields and bling to the grocery store.

440
00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:05.079
Right, I got whoa what with
that? And in Dallas people talk to

441
00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:07.920
each other in the in line at
Starbucks. And Seattle we all kept very

442
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:13.759
much to ourselves, right, and
and Dallas was flat and seattle and mountains

443
00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:17.240
and everything I saw I would compare
and trast and compare and contrast. Dallas

444
00:32:17.359 --> 00:32:22.400
is this, Seattle is that?
And I reconfirmed I don't belong in Dallas,

445
00:32:23.480 --> 00:32:28.079
right, and telling myself I don't
belong in Dallas. Everything I saw,

446
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:31.880
every situation I found myself in reconfirmed
that, because that's where my focus

447
00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:36.880
of attention was that I was looking
for reasons to prove myself right that I

448
00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:40.440
don't belong in Dallas. Well,
like two years into living in Dallas,

449
00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:45.400
and I have no recollection of what
happened, but there was some kind of

450
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:50.319
triggering event in my life two years
later that all of a sudden, I

451
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:52.160
went, Oh, my gosh,
I love Dallas. Dallas is the best

452
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:57.079
place on the planet. And I
it was. It was hilarious. I

453
00:32:57.079 --> 00:33:00.000
would go for these long walks on
Swiss Avenue and look at the live oak

454
00:33:00.119 --> 00:33:04.759
trees and think, these are the
most gorgeous trees ever. And I would

455
00:33:04.759 --> 00:33:07.519
look at the sunshine and sunshine every
day. This is a miracle. And

456
00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:13.319
everybody is so kind and warm and
friendly. I just loved the people of

457
00:33:13.400 --> 00:33:17.279
Dallas. And I remember so distinctly
flying into Dallas after doing the business trip,

458
00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:22.240
and I landed in the airport and
everyone looked so dressed up and so

459
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.400
nice, and I thought, the
people in Dallas take such good care of

460
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:32.400
themselves. Look that everyone. But
I mean, it's hilarious beliefs, because

461
00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:38.799
the thing is, Dallas never changed, got it right, Dallas was always

462
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:44.000
Dallas. The only thing that changed
was the way I looked at it,

463
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:49.279
yes, ma'am, m hm right. And so when the way I looked

464
00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:52.640
at it changed, the way I
showed up in this situations changed, so

465
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:57.039
that I met all of these wonderful
people. I started engaging in the world,

466
00:33:57.279 --> 00:34:00.599
because who's going to engage if you
believe that you don't along there?

467
00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:06.599
That's it, right, right?
That was a beautiful illustration, kimber La,

468
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:09.599
Do you really really situated that so
that I think people can understand that

469
00:34:09.880 --> 00:34:14.480
it's all about how we see things. It's all about how we see things.

470
00:34:14.559 --> 00:34:17.559
Now, then you map that to
personal power, right, if you

471
00:34:17.719 --> 00:34:22.760
believe something about yourself. Now,
our beliefs about ourselves come from so many

472
00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:29.360
different things. They come from our
experiences and our histories. Our brains start

473
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:32.119
making meaning of what people say to
us half the time is not making the

474
00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:38.719
right meaning. You know, we're
inferring things from comments. We're making decisions

475
00:34:38.760 --> 00:34:45.760
about ourselves. Right, Like when
I was a little girl, I had

476
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:49.880
very early on and I won't go
into the whole story about it, but

477
00:34:50.039 --> 00:34:54.679
very early on, I had decided
that I was an athletics. Yeah,

478
00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:59.599
I'm like, well, I'm just
not athletics. And so when it came

479
00:34:59.719 --> 00:35:02.480
to so, you know, elementary
school, all the other kids would be

480
00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:07.119
playing kickball on the playground and I'd
kind of hang in the back because of

481
00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:09.760
course I wasn't athletic, right,
And then when I went off to college

482
00:35:09.760 --> 00:35:14.880
and then we had to take dance
classes for my theater degree, I would

483
00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:16.719
be the one in the back trying
to not be noticed because you know,

484
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:22.119
I wasn't athletic, and I didn't
want people to know I'm not athletics.

485
00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:27.639
And I just never got involved in
anything that was that would require anything any

486
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:35.960
athleticism at all, because I of
course wasn't athletics. And then about gosh,

487
00:35:36.199 --> 00:35:38.599
when I was. It wasn't until
I was thirty seven years old when

488
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:44.239
I when I went to this I
heard the speaker talk about the three day

489
00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:47.719
Breast Cancer Walk, and I got
so inspired by what they were doing that

490
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:55.320
I registered to do this three day
walk. And when you do a three

491
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:59.119
day sixty mile walk, you have
to train, and you have to train

492
00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:02.400
really hard for this. You know
this because you do long distance running in

493
00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:07.119
these amazing events, But you have
to train. And I had never trained

494
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:10.360
for anything in my life. Right, And as I'm on, you know,

495
00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:15.199
day two of this this sixty mile
walk, and I've you know,

496
00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:21.039
I've walked nineteen miles that day and
then where they've got these huge hills and

497
00:36:21.119 --> 00:36:27.719
the heat, and I was walking
with like twenty five one hundred women,

498
00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:31.599
many of them who had been through
chemo or cancer survivors, some of them

499
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:37.559
had you know, had just had
just quit chemo, none of them complaining,

500
00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:40.639
you know, And it pushed me
to a level that I had never

501
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:47.280
pushed myself before. And when I
crossed that finish line after walking sixty miles

502
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:53.079
for the first time in my life, I thought, well, maybe I'm

503
00:36:53.079 --> 00:37:00.719
athletic after all, or not I
might not be athletic, but it was

504
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:07.679
no longer my truth, right,
because we can have into what you decide

505
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:12.800
about yourself, right, this is
what's possible for me, this is who

506
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:16.480
I am. And when you think
about how that affects the way you show

507
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:22.360
up in the world, it changes
everything. Yes, it does. I

508
00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:25.199
know that very well because of the
work that we do it Insignium, because

509
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:29.559
it's so much about, you know, the mindset that we show up,

510
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:31.920
we allow ourselves to show up with
and being present and cognizant to what is

511
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:37.280
that right, because half the battle
is being aware of what is that that

512
00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:42.800
we're telling ourselves. Absolutely, absolutely, So these are the things I find

513
00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:45.519
to be the biggest barriers to brave. It's the way we look at,

514
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:52.320
the way we focus our attention.
So we're focusing our attention on these these

515
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:58.280
decisions we've made about ourselves and these
decisions we've made about other people and the

516
00:37:58.320 --> 00:38:01.559
world and how we fit in.
Then we're going to live into that and

517
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:05.679
it's going to affect the way we
interact with other people, is going to

518
00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:10.079
affect what's possible for us, because
we won't put ourselves out there in a

519
00:38:10.119 --> 00:38:16.119
way that is going to be anything
different than what we've decided. Kimberly,

520
00:38:16.159 --> 00:38:20.719
that is a perfect way for us
to let our listeners sit and germinate while

521
00:38:20.719 --> 00:38:22.599
we go on and break here,
because what I want them to get is

522
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:24.360
I want them to get really clear
about being able to have access. I

523
00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:28.480
want them to see that you've given
them access to something for themselves. So

524
00:38:29.079 --> 00:38:30.840
hold the thoughts, listeners, take
a little bit of time to think about

525
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:34.920
that while we go on break.
I'm Alice Cortez, your host. We've

526
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.559
been on the air with Kimberly Davis, who was the founder of on Stage

527
00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:39.960
Leadership, who also gave a ted
X talk called what it Means to Be

528
00:38:40.039 --> 00:38:45.639
Brave. She's the author of Brave
Leadership Unleast You're most confident, authentic and

529
00:38:45.679 --> 00:38:49.119
powerful self to get the results you
need, which is endorsed by Dan Pink.

530
00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:51.760
After the break, we're going to
get more into how we can actually

531
00:38:51.840 --> 00:39:07.639
get to be more brave developing our
brave Stay with us Follow us on Twitter

532
00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:15.039
for more great ideas. At Voice
America Empowerments, Alise Cortes is a speaker

533
00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:20.639
and engagement and development catalyst. She
designs and delivers professional development, leadership and

534
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:24.639
engagement workshops and can bring her expertise
to your organization. She will help ignite

535
00:39:24.679 --> 00:39:30.159
meaningful development within your workforce that will
increase employee engagement, performance and retention.

536
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:35.440
To learn more or to invite Elise
to speak to your organization, please visit

537
00:39:35.480 --> 00:39:40.079
her at www dot elisecortes dot com. She would welcome the opportunity to help

538
00:39:40.119 --> 00:39:46.639
get your employees working on purpose.
We all have unique experiences and outlooks when

539
00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:52.559
it comes to leadership and team building, Yet sometimes we clash even when trying

540
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:57.880
to achieve the exact same goals.
Check out Unleash your Inner Goldilocks How to

541
00:39:57.920 --> 00:40:01.719
get it just right. Your hope
is doctor cass Henry. A shared journey

542
00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:07.320
equal success, and every human interaction
has the power to achieve the success by

543
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:13.599
working together. Tune in every Thursday
at four pm Eastern Time and one pm

544
00:40:13.639 --> 00:40:19.400
Pacific Time on the Voice America Empowerment
Channel. The human body has different levels

545
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:24.119
of interaction and communications, both at
an energetic and informational level. Understand the

546
00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:29.800
healing potential and the intelligence hidden within
these communications when you tune in too.

547
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:35.039
Human Potential and Life Force with Doctor
Sun are health conditions preventing you from achieving

548
00:40:35.039 --> 00:40:38.800
effective potential? Can life Force also
known as CHI, help your quality of

549
00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:44.880
life, relationships, and creativity.
Find the answers every Thursday at eleven am

550
00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:50.239
Pacific time two pm Eastern Time on
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. I think

551
00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:52.920
you've seen everything there is to see
in online television. Let us surprise me.

552
00:40:53.159 --> 00:40:58.119
Visit Voice America's on TV today for
sports, health, business and more

553
00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:09.599
on demand twenty four to seven.
This is Working on Purpose with Elise Cortes.

554
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:14.519
To reach our program today, please
call in to one triple eight three

555
00:41:14.599 --> 00:41:19.000
four six nine one four one.
Again, that's one triple eight three four

556
00:41:19.119 --> 00:41:24.400
six nine one four one. You
may also send an email to Elise Alisee

557
00:41:24.639 --> 00:41:32.559
at Elisecortes dot com. Now back
to Working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

558
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:36.760
with us, and welcome back to
Working on Purpose if you're just tuning in.

559
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.159
My guest is Kimberly Davis, who
is an expert on authentic leadership and

560
00:41:39.199 --> 00:41:45.320
shares her inspirational message of personal power, responsibility, and impact with organizations across

561
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:50.159
the country. She also teaches leadership
programs worldwide, including her program called On

562
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:52.920
Stage Leadership, which runs in New
York City and Dallas. She is the

563
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:57.599
author of the soon to be released
book called Brave Leadership. Unleash your most

564
00:41:57.639 --> 00:42:00.320
confident, authentic and powerful self to
get the results you need. And by

565
00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:05.199
the way, that comes out on
January sixteenth, twenty eighteenth. You can

566
00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:08.679
pre order it on Amazon dot Com
now. And Miss Kimberly joins us today

567
00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:13.840
from Austin, Texas. I'm your
host elis Cortes. Okay, so Kimberly.

568
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:15.800
In the beginning, we talked about
yes, jesuys, what what do

569
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:20.559
you want me to talk about?
So well, I am too say this

570
00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:22.360
is just really good stuff. So
we talked in the beginning about you know,

571
00:42:22.599 --> 00:42:25.880
why is leadership important? What's what
does brave mean? We talked about

572
00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:30.239
what gets in the way of brave. For this last segment, I want

573
00:42:30.519 --> 00:42:32.199
I want us to get to So
how do we get to brave? What

574
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:36.920
do we do? Yeah? Well, okay, so let me back up

575
00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.239
just a second. Release. You
know how when I talked about uh,

576
00:42:39.559 --> 00:42:45.679
I did theater for years, right
yep. And what I what I learned

577
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:51.280
in the theater is that when an
actor can get really crystal clear on this

578
00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:53.639
is this is what drives me,
this is this is what I stand for,

579
00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:59.039
and then they can focus all of
their attention instead of on the audience,

580
00:42:59.039 --> 00:43:00.800
instead of trying to these selfs,
instead of trying to get a good

581
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:05.519
review instead of what people think about
them. If they can take their minds

582
00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:10.280
off of that and instead focus all
of their attention on having some kind of

583
00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:16.960
impact on someone or something on the
stage with them, what it does is

584
00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:24.639
it automatically refocuses their brain, so
it overrides their amygdala, that part in

585
00:43:24.719 --> 00:43:29.880
your bod, that part in your
brain that's designed to keep you safe.

586
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:34.280
Right, our migdala is the center
for emotion management, and it is its

587
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:38.039
job is to make sure we survive. So anytime it senses risk, it's

588
00:43:38.079 --> 00:43:43.039
going to send those those physical sensations
through your body, which is going to

589
00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:46.559
have you do weird things and show
up different, show up strangely in life,

590
00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:51.280
and protect yourself and not be as
powerful as you can be. But

591
00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:55.960
what happens is if you can focus
your attention on action to achieve impact,

592
00:43:58.480 --> 00:44:02.559
it will override your amigdala, so
you don't experience any of those same sensations,

593
00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:07.800
that same sense, that vulnerability that
you feel. You don't experience that

594
00:44:08.119 --> 00:44:15.800
you're completely focused on taking action to
achieve purpose. It's connected to who you

595
00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:22.000
are internally. So a focus on
action to have an impact is what allows

596
00:44:22.119 --> 00:44:25.840
us to be brave, a focus
on action out to take to impact someone

597
00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:31.559
or something outside ourselves. Mm hmm, Kimberly, you know what you're reminding

598
00:44:31.599 --> 00:44:34.280
me of? Can I just say
this since? Do you tell me if

599
00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:37.199
I've got the right application to what
you just said? There? So I

600
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:40.719
have the wonderful ability to get to
go out and speak to various audiences.

601
00:44:40.760 --> 00:44:45.639
And I love to speak to women, especially about leadership and really being their

602
00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:49.280
true best selves and working on purpose
and through their passions. I love doing

603
00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:52.280
that. And of course there are
occasions when I get up a warning to

604
00:44:52.440 --> 00:44:55.679
go give one of those speeches,
and I don't feel fantastic, I don't

605
00:44:55.679 --> 00:45:00.280
feel brave, I don't feel like
I'm you know all that I want to

606
00:45:00.280 --> 00:45:02.199
be able to deliver a message like
that. So I got to get myself

607
00:45:02.239 --> 00:45:06.679
there right so I can deliver something
that will be useful to these women.

608
00:45:06.760 --> 00:45:08.280
And so what I tend to do
and I prepare for that and I get

609
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:13.800
myself I work on that place of
intention is I get myself into the place

610
00:45:13.800 --> 00:45:15.760
of doesn't matter where I'm at,
how I feel. What do I want

611
00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:21.320
to give these women today? What
can I do that will actually that's perfect

612
00:45:21.559 --> 00:45:23.400
Okay, Okay, okay, sample, yes, because what you're doing is

613
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:29.440
you're harnessing your attention m hm,
which helps you override your amingala. Right.

614
00:45:30.039 --> 00:45:35.159
So now when you're in space with
them, you can show up more

615
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:40.119
powerfully because your focus of attention is
completely on what am I giving to them

616
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:51.199
is active and connected to who you
are internally inherently. Okay, So this

617
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:52.960
what I think, because I have
obviously read some of your book, and

618
00:45:53.079 --> 00:45:57.559
I think what this is connecting to
is you've got a chapter in there called

619
00:45:57.599 --> 00:46:00.840
action from the Insight out. Is
this part of what you're drawing from?

620
00:46:01.159 --> 00:46:07.199
Yeah? Absolutely. So. One
of the ways we get to what drives

621
00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:09.840
us and what the language I use
around that is your super objective. What's

622
00:46:09.880 --> 00:46:15.039
the effect you want to have?
What's your super objective? Okay, yeah,

623
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:19.360
I remember that you're super objective.
Yeah. One of the ways we

624
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:22.480
get to the super objective it is
first to kind of unearth what are your

625
00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:27.639
beliefs and values and strengths and all
of that, because your super objective encompasses

626
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:30.239
all of those things, right,
And I don't know if you remember,

627
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:32.760
at least a few years ago,
there was a lot of talk out there

628
00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:38.159
about leadership philosophy, and people are
talking about what's your leadership philosophy, And

629
00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:45.800
leadership philosophy is largely your belief it's
and so an example of leadership philosophy would

630
00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:50.639
be I believe in respect and dignity
for all people, right, Okay,

631
00:46:51.519 --> 00:46:54.199
And that's a lovely thing to believe. Yeah, but you can believe that

632
00:46:54.719 --> 00:46:58.280
and believe that and believe that and
believe that, but it's not going to

633
00:46:58.360 --> 00:47:04.480
change anything. Right. Whereas a
super objective lives in action, you can't

634
00:47:04.519 --> 00:47:09.440
achieve a super objective from the sidelines. So if you were going to translate

635
00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:15.599
that into super objective language, you
might say, I champion respecting dignity for

636
00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:23.159
all people. Right, You cannot
champion from the sidelines. To champion is

637
00:47:23.199 --> 00:47:27.559
going to require you to take action. It's to champion, it's going to

638
00:47:27.599 --> 00:47:32.199
require you to stand up for someone
you believe is being treated disrespectfully. Right.

639
00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:38.760
If to champion respecting dignity is going
to force you to find something to

640
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:44.840
respect about people you may not like
very much, which can be really hard

641
00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:50.519
to do. Right, Right,
to champion respecting dignity for all people is

642
00:47:50.559 --> 00:47:54.719
going to require you to create conversation
and stir things up, and it's going

643
00:47:54.760 --> 00:47:59.119
to require action. And the action
is going to require is not always going

644
00:47:59.159 --> 00:48:02.320
to be easy action. It's going
to hold your feet to the fire because

645
00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:07.000
if you are truly a champion for
respecting dignity for all people, you have

646
00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:10.440
to you have to say, well, what what action can I take in

647
00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:16.719
this situation to do that? What
can I what can I do in this

648
00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:23.599
conversation to champion respecting dignity? What
can I do on this call to champion

649
00:48:23.679 --> 00:48:30.679
respecting dignity? What can I do
in this needing to champion respecting dignity for

650
00:48:30.760 --> 00:48:35.159
all people? Because if that's who
you truly are, then it should show

651
00:48:35.280 --> 00:48:38.480
up in every situation you face.
And then when you don't do that,

652
00:48:38.519 --> 00:48:42.679
because guess what, you're human,
you're going to you're going to miss the

653
00:48:42.719 --> 00:48:45.440
mark more times than you're going to
hit it. Probably, Then if you've

654
00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:49.760
got that clarity of thought, that
clarity is focused. What do I stand

655
00:48:49.800 --> 00:48:54.320
for? I stand for championing respect
and dignity for all people? Right?

656
00:48:54.480 --> 00:48:58.360
Did I do it in this in
this conversation? Yes? Or no?

657
00:48:58.360 --> 00:49:02.320
No? Okay? What action can
I take to get myself closer? So

658
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:06.400
I self as the person that I
know I truly am and want to be.

659
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.360
How do I clean it up?
It's just so yummy? It is

660
00:49:12.440 --> 00:49:15.280
so yummy. Now along those lines, we're getting close to the finish er.

661
00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:17.159
If you don't mind, what I'd
love to do because I know there's

662
00:49:17.199 --> 00:49:21.960
listeners who are listening to this and
they're they're getting the concepts, and I

663
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:23.840
know they're getting inspired by it.
But I also want to be able to

664
00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:28.039
give those listeners who want to walk
away with like a list or something like,

665
00:49:28.119 --> 00:49:30.519
you know, how can I put
this to work tomorrow? You have

666
00:49:30.599 --> 00:49:35.039
a chapter in your book that gets
to six steps to prepare for impact.

667
00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:37.519
Some of those things you've already talked
about, you've already mentioned some of them.

668
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:39.719
But for the benefit of listeners who
want to walk away with do these

669
00:49:39.760 --> 00:49:44.480
things that'll make a difference, would
you just quickly describe those six steps?

670
00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:47.559
Yeah? Absolutely, so. The
first thing you always always want to do

671
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:53.599
is to focus your attention. So
you want to get clear on what do

672
00:49:53.679 --> 00:49:58.559
the people need from you to experience
you is genuine worthy of trust, reliance

673
00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:05.199
and belief, right based on their
needs, not your agenda? Right?

674
00:50:05.239 --> 00:50:07.920
What do they need from you?
And then and then inherent in that is

675
00:50:07.920 --> 00:50:12.920
you. Also part of focusing your
attention is getting clear what's the impact you

676
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:15.400
want to have? Yep, So
what do they need from you to experience

677
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:19.519
you with genuine where your trust,
alliance and belief? What's the impact you

678
00:50:19.559 --> 00:50:22.239
want to have. If you can
focus your attention on that and make sure

679
00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:28.159
your actions are in alignment with that, the byproduct is you will connect to

680
00:50:28.199 --> 00:50:31.760
their wants m m okay, right. They'll want to participate, they'll want

681
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:34.599
to listen, they want to follow, they want to be a part of

682
00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:37.840
what you're doing. The next thing
you need to make sure you're doing is

683
00:50:37.880 --> 00:50:43.519
you want to prepare authentically for that
experience. Right, So what do they

684
00:50:43.559 --> 00:50:45.159
need from you to experience you as
genuine, worthy your trust, reliance,

685
00:50:45.159 --> 00:50:51.639
and belief. How do you prepare
for that? You want to make sure

686
00:50:51.800 --> 00:50:55.559
that that if you're meeting with your
boss, you've prepared in a way that

687
00:50:55.599 --> 00:51:00.280
she will experience you as worthy of
trust. Got it? You know what

688
00:51:00.320 --> 00:51:04.760
information? What data? What?
Stories? What? What? What?

689
00:51:04.760 --> 00:51:07.880
What? What kind of preparation do
you need to do for that situation?

690
00:51:08.360 --> 00:51:14.119
So using that definition of authenticity to
help you prepare and the next thing you

691
00:51:14.159 --> 00:51:17.199
want to do is you really want
to come in as your best self,

692
00:51:17.280 --> 00:51:22.719
so you want to make sure you
breathe and remove all tensions. So here's

693
00:51:22.760 --> 00:51:27.880
a really interesting thing, at least
you know. It's when when we when

694
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:32.679
we get nervous or anxious or overwhelmed
or stressed, our breathing gets naturally more

695
00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:37.280
and more shallow, so we start
uh cutting off our breaths. And what's

696
00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:43.880
really interesting about that is that our
brains need oxygen to function, yes,

697
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:46.920
And so people think, oh,
yeah, you don't need to talk to

698
00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:51.119
me about breathing. I've got the
breathing thing down. Yet at the same

699
00:51:51.199 --> 00:51:55.000
time, when we're stressed, when
we're overwhelmed, when we're anxious, we

700
00:51:55.000 --> 00:52:00.320
we naturally do that as a survival
mechanism. Okay, So the very first

701
00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:05.039
thing you want to do, truly
in any situation space, especially if the

702
00:52:05.079 --> 00:52:09.320
stakes are high, is to just
ground yourself and breathe. Okay, And

703
00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:13.519
then the next thing you want to
do is to remove all tension, because

704
00:52:13.599 --> 00:52:17.719
tension blocks authentic expression. You can't
go into a situation if you're carrying a

705
00:52:17.719 --> 00:52:22.559
lot of tension. And we all
carry tension in different places in our bodies,

706
00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:24.199
so some of us carry tension in
our shoulders, some of us in

707
00:52:24.239 --> 00:52:29.400
our hands, most in our necks, some of us in our jaws.

708
00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:34.079
It's really important that you can name
where do I personally carry my tension,

709
00:52:34.639 --> 00:52:38.079
so you can release that tension before
you go in. You can roll your

710
00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:43.159
shoulders back, so you take a
deep breath, you ground yourself, you

711
00:52:43.239 --> 00:52:49.360
roll your shoulders until you release the
tension so you can go in and be

712
00:52:49.599 --> 00:52:54.000
physically physically where you need to be
in order to connect to the want of

713
00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:58.239
others. And then you need to
go in. And we talked about this

714
00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:04.440
earlier and the appsoletely present. When
when I say present, I mean you

715
00:53:04.519 --> 00:53:08.719
need to be so present that the
stakes are your your that the stakes are

716
00:53:08.719 --> 00:53:12.079
like your life is on the line. You want to connect us that your

717
00:53:12.119 --> 00:53:15.199
life is on the line. Because
what happens is we go in and we

718
00:53:15.280 --> 00:53:20.039
have our own agenda and we're not
paying attention to what other people need.

719
00:53:20.079 --> 00:53:22.239
What's going on with the other person? Have they heard what we've had to

720
00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:30.840
say, And we cannot connect to
the want of others if we don't,

721
00:53:30.960 --> 00:53:37.519
if we if we if if we're
not with them, they it's it's impossible.

722
00:53:37.880 --> 00:53:45.079
So I find it really interesting when
I teach executive presence, the very

723
00:53:45.119 --> 00:53:50.000
first thing I say is that presence
requires you to be present. And it's

724
00:53:50.039 --> 00:53:53.079
even in the definition of presence.
So people think presence is all about charisma.

725
00:53:53.199 --> 00:54:00.719
Presence is absolutely all about being absolutely
mentally in the here and now with

726
00:54:00.840 --> 00:54:04.199
the people you're with. And that
is one of the hardest things to do

727
00:54:04.239 --> 00:54:07.840
in the workplace today because there's so
much going on because of the luka environment.

728
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:12.920
Right. Yeah, And then you
are so present that you're able to

729
00:54:12.960 --> 00:54:16.320
pay attention to impact. So step
number five is pay attention to impact.

730
00:54:16.519 --> 00:54:20.199
You will if you go in and
you say, what is the impact I

731
00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:22.800
want to have. I want to
champion respect and dignity for our people.

732
00:54:22.840 --> 00:54:25.400
Well, did I have that impact? Yes or no? Got it?

733
00:54:25.480 --> 00:54:29.559
Yeah, Because if you're not paying
attention to impact, you won't be able

734
00:54:29.559 --> 00:54:32.119
to course correct Kimberly, we're almost
out of time, and I'll make sure

735
00:54:32.119 --> 00:54:35.920
we can actually announce where to find
this. So the last one I know

736
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.360
is create the last one to create
rituals. Just make sure you're putting things

737
00:54:38.360 --> 00:54:42.760
in place to keep you mindful of
the things you need to do to bring

738
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:46.559
your best Let's authentic and powerful self
to the table and that's a perfect way

739
00:54:46.599 --> 00:54:50.199
actually right there for us to finish. I want to just let you be

740
00:54:50.239 --> 00:54:53.239
able to take that breath and take
your bow and let me thank you for

741
00:54:53.280 --> 00:54:57.400
being on the show and sharing your
passion, your wisdom what you can teach

742
00:54:57.400 --> 00:55:00.159
the listeners across the globe about brave
leadership. Kimberly Davis, thank you for

743
00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:04.760
joining me today. I'm working on
purpose. Thank you, Lise. This

744
00:55:04.960 --> 00:55:08.199
was a great fun. It was
great fun, always great fun. Okay,

745
00:55:08.239 --> 00:55:10.840
so listeners, remember I mentioned this
earlier. If you want to get

746
00:55:10.840 --> 00:55:15.000
a copy of her book, Brave
Leadership, it comes out January sixteenth,

747
00:55:15.039 --> 00:55:19.320
but you can pre order today on
Amazon dot com. If you want to

748
00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:22.119
learn more about Kimberly Davis and her
leadership courses or her seem to be released

749
00:55:22.119 --> 00:55:29.880
book, visit her website. It's
onstage leadership dot com. Now. Next

750
00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:32.320
week, we will be on the
air with the founder and fireball of a

751
00:55:32.400 --> 00:55:37.239
Coola project. Her name is Brittany
Merrill Underwood. We'll be talking about the

752
00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:39.920
work she and her team are doing
to empower women across the globe to transform

753
00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:45.480
families by addressing poverty through her nonprofit
organization based Terran Dallas. She was alerted

754
00:55:45.519 --> 00:55:49.679
to me by one of my students
at Southern Memphis University. When I talked

755
00:55:49.679 --> 00:55:52.159
about purpose and passion in the classrooms, I kicked it off. One of

756
00:55:52.159 --> 00:55:53.920
the students put her hand up in
the back. She said, Oh,

757
00:55:53.920 --> 00:55:57.480
I've got someone you've got to talk
with. So that is who I'll be

758
00:55:57.480 --> 00:56:00.800
sharing with you on the show next
week. So join us in remember that

759
00:56:00.840 --> 00:56:09.239
workers won through our lives, So
let's work on Purpose. We hope you've

760
00:56:09.320 --> 00:56:14.400
enjoyed this week's program. Be sure
to tune into Working on Purpose, featuring

761
00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:19.559
your host Elise Cortes, every Wednesday
at six pm Eastern Time three pm Pacific

762
00:56:19.639 --> 00:56:23.159
Time on the Voice America Empowerment Channel. This week, find your life's purpose

763
00:56:23.559 --> 00:56:24.079
at work.