Encore: Kimberly Davis on Brave Leadership

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortez. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortez. Welcome back to

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Working on Purpose. Thanks for tuning
in again this week. I'm your host,

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Elise Cortez, joining you from Dallas, Texas, which is home based

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for me. This program is all
about helping people more meaningfully and productively connect

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with their work and equipping organizations to
do the same for their employees. So

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I bring on guests who have a
particular perspective or experience that I think expands

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the conversation about meaningful and productive work. And I often draw on the meaning

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of work research I've been doing over
the last fifteen years, as well as

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my own experience consulting, including the
work I do it Insignium, which is

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a global management consulting firm. I'll
get to the program in just a second,

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but let me thank my media partner
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dot Com. Last week, if
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the air with Sean Anderson, by
far and away my favorite and I think

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the only Extra Mile America, an
Extra Mile World motivational author and speaker.

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We had an in depth conversation about
what it takes to live a great life,

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and we each shared our perspectives on
the topic. It was hopelessly fund

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and we each walked away a little
bit more inspired. The best live says

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we each were informed by the other. So if you miss that show,

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go back and grab the podcast.
By the way, if you want to

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receive alerts in advance of my live
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navigating to the blog tab, and
then under my photo entering your name

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and email address. Now with us
this week is Kimberly Davis, who is

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an expert on authentic leadership and shares
her inspirational message of personal power, responsibility,

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and impact with organizations across the country. She also teaches leadership programs worldwide,

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including her own program called on Stage
Leadership, which runs in New York

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City and Dallas. She's the author
of the soon to be released book called

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Brave Leadership. Unleash your most confident, authentic and powerful self to get the

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results you need. We'll be talking
about her actual books, so you get

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kind of a sneak preview before it
comes out in the beginning of next year.

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Kimberly joins today from Austin, Texas. Kimberly Davis, Welcome back to

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Working on Purpose, a Last Cortez. I am so excited to be on

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your show with your listeners again this
year. I am too, Darnett.

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So I'm going to just extract as
much as I can out of you before

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I let you go in the next
hour or so and your mark could set

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go. You're ready, okay?
I am ready. Okay. Since both

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of us work in field of leadership
and we do it from different vantage points,

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I think it's important we kind of
segment and start and anchor the show

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in that. So I want to
talk a little bit broadly about leadership.

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So from your advantage point, why
do you think it's important for any of

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us to develop a leader in us? Well, you know, I think

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it when you when you sent me
this question and I was thinking about it,

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I thought, you know what,
one of my favorite quotes ever is

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a Jim Roan quote, and he
talks about Jim Jim Roan talks about being

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a millionaire, right, and that's
not really what I think is that important.

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But what he says is become of
millionaire because of what it will make

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of you. And I think that
is true about leadership. I think become

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a leader because of what it will
make of you, because to be a

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great leader, it will require you
to bring your most affliction, influential and

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your best self to the world.
And I can't think of a better reason

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for all of us to nurture that
part of ourselves. I love that start

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kimerly, that's gorgeous. And you
know, one of the things that I

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know from being a researcher around investing
how people experience meaning and their work is

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most people, at some level what
they want to do at the end of

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the day, is they want to
matter, right, they want to make

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a difference. Yea. And the
way you just position that is about making

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a difference, And I think that's
a great way to start this conversation.

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Thank you. Well, it really
is. It's all about making a difference,

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in making an impact. Yeah,
okay, Well along those lines,

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one of the things that I have
always found amazing about you is you have

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this phrase this saying that as leaders
were always on stage, which is a

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vulnerable place to be right, people, we're in that spotlight, people are

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looking at us. And you even
named your leadership development company on stage leadership.

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So before we get into your book, because I got to imagine some

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of your book has come from your
experience of leading that company. Why did

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you start your company and what do
your participants get from participating? Well,

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so you have to we have to
back up a little bit because I got

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a lot of my insights from the
actual stage. I did theater for like

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twenty years, and so what I
noticed when I was in the theater is

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that people would you'd feel pretty vulnerable
on the stage when people are scrutinizing you

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and people are watching you and you
seeing people are judging you, and you

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want to prove yourself. And so
when we are in our leadership role,

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we are also always on stage because
people are always watching, They're always paying

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attention, They're always paying attention to
what you say and what you don't say,

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and what you doom we don't do, and every minute of every day,

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they are either choosing you to be
a leader or not. And so

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I when I started putting together my
company, I drew from tools that we

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used in this theater because actors were
in that vulnerable space and because they applied

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directly to leadership, because leaders are
always on stage, and even if they

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don't recognize the fact, they still
are always in the spotlight. Well,

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and I certainly one of the things
that I want to call out and thank

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you again for your support over the
years is I have been in my own

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leadership roles, community service leadership,
or various others. You are always there

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reminding me of that and helping and
cheering me on and giving me tools and

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resources along the way. So you
have been someone who has coached me from

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this, you know, from the
backstage, So thank you for that.

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Well, I have been the one
who has been lucky enough to cheer you

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on because you've been pretty extraordinary in
your efforts. So yeah, that's an

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easy thing to do. A last
well thank you, my friend. And

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the fact that we now get to
share this position with everybody else who read

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your book, I'm thrilled about that. And and to that end, as

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we talk about leadership, you know, the other end of leadership. And

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I had somebody on my show earlier
who was talking about the actual follower piece

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of this whole equation. But you
say in your book that a leader is

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somebody who people want to follow,
not have to follow. Will you say

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more about that? Yeah? So
so some of this, some of what

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defines leadership today, or what I
feel defines leadership today is the environment that

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we're in. And so what is
needed from a leader today is so different

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than it was ten fifteen years ago, because it's a different world than it

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was ten to fifteen years ago.
Ten to fifteen years ago, there was

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something called security in the workforce,
right, you know, you could you

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could get a job out of college
and you would stay at this same job

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for your entire career and retire with
your gold watch and your pension and all

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would be great, but you know, there is no such thing as security

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in the workforce anymore. And now
in the workplace is moving faster than ever.

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There's more uncertainty than there's ever been
before. Zibolatile things are very ambiguous,

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there's absolutely The HR world has a
acronym that they like to use,

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which I think it is pretty great. It's they call it the VUCA environment

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for volatile, uncertain, complex and
ambiguous. So it's this UCA environment that

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has really shifted what we need from
from leaders, because in the past,

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a leader could pretty much just yes, just use command and control. They

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could say, you know, do
this or has it gonna role? But

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nowadays, if you were to try
that in the workforce, and you know,

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I'd be foolish to say that isn't
happening in the workforce today, but

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it doesn't work successfully nowadays. If
you try command and control when people don't

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feel safe, what are they going
to do. They're going to stop participating,

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They're going to stop bring themselves out
there. They're not going to call

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out when they see a problem.
They're not going to bring their best because

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they're going to do everything they can
to just stay off the radar. So

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they can say stay stay right right
right right. So yeah, so,

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and if you apply command and controls
all of different emotions they're playing out in

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the workforce, it just doesn't give
you the results that you need. So

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when you counter that to what will
give you the results that you need,

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you really need to harness the emotional
energy in a positive way in the workforce.

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And I think of that as choice. People need to people choose to

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follow you, not have to follow
you. You don't get a paycheck exchange.

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You get their wants, their heart. They're going to give you the

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best that they have to give.
If you don't have access to their want,

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all you're going to get is a
warm body there to collect a paycheck,

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put in their hours. Okay,
this is so good, Kimberly,

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if you don't mind, I want
to represence what you said before. I've

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never heard that acronym, by the
way, and I think it's really really

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important that our listeners really get this, because it's so important to be able

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to really give a context for the
way we experience and how we do our

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work today, especially if you contrast
that to say, fifteen twenty years ago,

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and keep in mind that this shows
listen to across the globe. So

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there are various countries in various developments
that hear this show, and many of

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them are you may still be in
that command and control and moving away from

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it. So this is fascinating point, right, So tell us again about

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that. Well, I mean,
it's what's the evolution? Where is it?

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Where are things going to go or
might go depending on the culture.

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Yeah, yeah, So the actroom
again is what did you say? It's

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the voca v U C A v
U C A okay, and again that

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stands for volatile, uncertain, complex
and ambiguous. Okay. This is so

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important to be able to to situate
why well, why a new way of

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leading is so important? Okay,
So before we get into really you know

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what you mean by brave, I
guess what I want to get into next

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is you talk about the importance of
unlocking the wanton followers. And I heard

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you talk about, you know,
that whole being able to harness the positive

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emotional energy from the workplace as opposed
to coming from a place of fear and

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uncertainty. And you know, I
appreciate the way you position that, Kimberly,

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because you're right. When we go
into a place of fear. We

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generally kind of cower into the corner
usually, right, that's how right?

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How many of us will respond when
we're afraid? Exactly? Hey, at

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least have I ever shared with you? There's a great metaphor that Dan and

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Chippieth's use in their book Switch No
Hard, Yeah, it's it's a fantastic

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it's a fantastic metaphor. And so
in their books, which they compare our

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emotions to that of a three ton
elephants, right, and they compare our

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logic to the little guy who's perched
on top of the elephant, you know,

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the elephant writer. Now, when
the elephant and the elephant writer want

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to go in the same direction,
everything is cool, right, all right?

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So got it? What happens when
the elephant wants to go in a

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different direction than the writer? Who's
going to win? I think the elephant's

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kind of wins the elephant every time, right, exactly, elephant every time.

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And but the funny thing is in
there in our workplace, we say,

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you know, leave your emotions at
the door. There's no room for

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emotions here. But the truth is, as if you're not paying attention to

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the work, the emotion and the
workforce. It's like the elephant. It's

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going to run right over you.
It's going to make a big mess.

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It's the big problem if you don't
deal with it. And so we and

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I'm not suggesting that it's all about
the elephant. We've got to find a

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healthy alignment between our emotions and our
loggy's got to have a very healthy respect

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for the fact that this is what's
showing up in our workforce when when people

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are in a meeting and they're feeling
stressed and overwhelmed and frightened and worried about

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their jobs, and this is and
how does that manifest? Oh my gosh,

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So Kimberly just really quick, just
just to kind of bring this home

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for people. So when we're working
with organizations and insnium, of course we're

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really we're very present to the importance
and the profundity of emotions in the workplace.

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Right, there's certainly not to be
ignored. There to be understood and

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presence in a way that it will
be effective and efficient and yield the results

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that you want. But first we
got to we've got to be aware of

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what they actually are. So they're
oftentimes hanging around there in the background,

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and you know, we don't really
know about that. The trick is to

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be able to really bring them into
the foreground so we can actually give a

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name to them, call them,
recognize them for what they are, right,

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and then to be able to address
them whether they're showing up negatively or

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positively for us. So I just
think I really want to applaud what you're

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saying about this emotional piece in the
workplace. And I remember the days when

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people used to say it's it's not
personal, it's just business, get past

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it. Remember that. Well,
I'm truly how can you how can you

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connect to the want of others if
you don't know what they're what's going on

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with them emotionally exactly? Can't?
Well? And especially as leaders, right

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because you talked about catalyzing results through
positive emotions. Okay, yeah, that's

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right. Okay, Well then along
those lines, speaking of emotions, I

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mean, you've written a whole book
about brave leadership. So what do you

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mean by brave? Well okay,
so let me let me first say what

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the dictionary means by brave, because
totally different from what I think of brave

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as right, I mean, wonder
at least, why you think of when

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you go into a situation where you
need to put yourself out there, when

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you need to do something scary,
you need to give a presentation or have

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a really tough conversation with someone while
you feel that kind of I want to

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throw up feeling. You know,
I need to be brave here. I

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need to be brave here. But
but it doesn't feel like a good thing,

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right. Your experience of I need
to be brave doesn't feel positive.

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It feels really icky in your stomach, right, And so I was like,

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why is that? And so I
absolutely looked it up in the dictionary

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and they define brave is ready to
face fear and endure danger or pain.

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Oh my gosh, yeah yeah,
yeah, Okay, really, who gets

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excited about that? I want to
get up in the morning and face me

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in danger and pain. I can't
wait for that, right, sign me

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up. It's it's a way of
looking at it that is going to completely

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disempower you. Right. So I
knew that if that's how I looked at

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being brave, that it would stop
me in my tracks because I don't want

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to base and endure danger or pain
anymore than anybody else does. Right,

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So I knew I needed to reframe
it for myself. And so the way

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I define brave is your best,
most authentic, and powerful self. And

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it's a lot more complex than it
sounds, you know, right at first,

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because when when I think about when
I think about my best self,

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right, my best self is not
someone who's disrespectful or unkind. My best

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self is not someone who's blaming other
was or showing contempt. My best self

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is more patient, more curious,
carrying positive, constructive, probably articulate,

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definitely more hopeful than otherwise. Right, It's brave is anchored in your best

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self. It forces you to take
responsibility for yourself. What I so appreciate

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about what you're saying, So go
ahead to hear only something else? Go

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ahead? No, no, no, go ahead, go ahead. Well,

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what I was going to put that
into the context? I literally,

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just before getting on the air with
you, I've finished a coaching call with

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one of one of our clients,
and she's really also she's she is an

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executive leader, and she wants to
continue developing her persona, her message,

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and she's she really understands the importance
of being able to develop You know that

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inspirational motivational aspect of who she has
a leader to be able to bring people

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along and make them want to come
with her on the journey. And so

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when I hear you talk about this
whole notion of brave leadership, what I

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hear is like a reaching through to
be able to grab people, to grab

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them along the journey with you.
That's what I hear when you talk.

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But because connecting to their want is
a byproduct, right If I can bring

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my brave self, my best,
most authentic and powerful self, the byproduct

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of that is they want to follow. The byproduct of that is they want

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to engage, they want to give
their best, they want to be a

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part of whatever it is I'm doing. They want to listen. Right,

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But it's a byproduct. You can
go, you go after I want people

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to listen to me, and you're
not going to show but a way that

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they actually want to listen to you, right right, But if you sew

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up as your best, most authentic
and powerful self, the byproduct is that

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they will want to listen to you. And isn't it amazing? And here's

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what's really great about that? And
perfect time because we're just about to go

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for a break here. But what's
great about that, Kimberly, is that

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when you when I think about like
the best times when I've ever been in

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front of a group and I wanted
them to come with me, I know

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they're with me by how they're looking
at me. Right. There's an energy

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exchange that happens, right, And
I think that's what you're describing. And

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then you mentioned you know the byproduct
piece of that, then you know you've

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already even hit it. But that
connection of the eyeballs and the heartbeat that

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goes with it, I think is
what you're talking about. Yes, absolutely,

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it's the the heartbeat. When you
said the heartbeat, it's it's all

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emotion, it's all elephant. Want
lives in the heart. I mean,

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you can logic your way out of
it, but if you don't want it,

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you can't stake it right, No
want. I love that, And

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what a perfect way to take us
into the break, So hopefully we'll get

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folks still wanting more. I'm a
last Cortes, your host. We've on

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the air with Kimberly Davis, who
was the founder of on Stage Leadership,

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00:18:45.880 --> 00:18:49.279
who also gave a tedex thought called
What it Means to Be Brave. She's

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the author of Brave Leadership Unleash your
most confident, authentic and powerful self to

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00:18:53.640 --> 00:18:56.799
get the results you need, which
is endorsed by Dan Pink. We've been

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talking a bit about what it means
to be raven, how why this is

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important in today's workplace. After the
break, we're going to get into what

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gets in the way of being brave. Stay with us Friend us on Facebook

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00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:27.839
to keep up with what's empowering the
world. Voice America Empowerments. Alise Cortez

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00:19:27.960 --> 00:19:33.359
is a speaker and engagement and development
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional development,

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leadership and engagement workshops and can bring
her expertise to your organization. She

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will help ignite meaningful development within your
workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance

280
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:48.279
and retention. To learn more or
to invite Elise to speak to your organization,

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00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:53.519
please visit her at www dot Elise
Cortez dot com. She would welcome

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the opportunity to help get your employees
working on purpose. Are you of strained

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Life every Thursday at nine am Pacific
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Listen Wednesdays at eight am Pacific time
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Motivate, change, Succeed. Voice America

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Empowerment dot com. This is working
on Purpose with Elise Cortez. To reach

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our program today, please call into
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You may also send an email to
Elise ali se at Elise Cortez dot

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00:21:38.920 --> 00:21:45.400
com. Now back to working on
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us,

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00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:48.559
and welcome back to working on Purpose
if you're just joining us. My guest

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00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:52.720
is Kimberly Davis, who is an
expert on authentitic leadership and shares your inspirational

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00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:57.079
message of personal power, responsibility,
and impact with organizations across the country.

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She also teaches leadership program worldwide,
including her program called on Stage Leadership,

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00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:06.880
which runs in New York City and
Dallas. She's the author of the soon

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to be released book called Brave Leadership. Unleash You're most confident, authentic and

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powerful self to get the results you
need. She joins it today from Austin,

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Texas. I'm your host, Alice
Cortez. So as we continue this

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conversation, Miss Kimberly, I think
it probably is not a bad idea for

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us to talk about authenticity and for
those listeners that maybe think they know what

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that means, I want to get
them on the same page as what we

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what you want it to be?
What do you mean by a yeah?

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Well finds signing brave is your best, most authentic and powerful self. I

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guess we probably should talk about what
it means to be authentic, because authenticity

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is one of those words that gets
bandied about so much that we lose what

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does that mean? Right? And
if anybody who's been on Facebook on any

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day of the week could look at
can find a post that says be authentic,

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be yourself, doesn't matter what anybody
thinks. And that's all great and

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00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:00.839
good, except for in the same
work of leadership and influence, it doesn't

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work. So I actually steal my
definition of authenticity from a guy named Bill

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George. And mister George used to
be the CEO for Medtronic and now he's

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on the Harvard works with a Harvard
Business school for the School of Management,

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and he wrote a book called Authentic
Leadership, so he gets to be the

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guru of authentic leadership. He also
wrote True North, which is his most

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00:23:23.720 --> 00:23:30.519
recent book, and it's got a
lot of acclaim. But mister George's definition

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00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:40.759
of authenticity is our you genuine worthy
of trust, reliance and belief. And

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what makes that so complex is that
you don't get to decide. You don't

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get to decide if you're genuine,
worthy of trust, reliance, and beliefs.

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The people around you get to decide
did they experience you this? Do

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your listeners experience you as worthy of
belief? Does your boss experience you as

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believable as genuine? Right? You
don't get to decide that. Other people

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get to decide. And that makes
it really, really complex, because what

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your boss is going to need from
you to experience you is worthy addrest is

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going to be very different than something
your colleague might need from you, or

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what your pint is going to need
from you. Yeah, and so it

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doesn't mean, now, let me
be very clear about this. It doesn't

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mean you become this chameleon kind of
person and I'll be whatever you want me

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to be and whatever you want me
to be. Know, what it means

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is that you have to have a
healthy respect for the fact that every human

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being you come in contact with is
going to have a different set of needs

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except for them to experience you as
genuine worthy addrust, reliance and belief.

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You have to be able to connect
to those needs. And what I'm getting

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from that, Miss Kimberly, you
tell me if I've got this right based

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because you're the one that knows this
better and you've been up to your eyeballs.

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Really studying this and thinking about how
to talk about it. It seems

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to me that since you're trying to
appeal across to all that different those sets

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of needs, what you're really probably
doing, if you're really active from a

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place of authenticity, is you're activating
the parts of yourself that speak to those

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things. If you can't absolutely absolutely
yeah. So for example, Alice,

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I tend to be a pretty gregarious
person. I'm, you know, pretty

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bubbly and and vivacious, some people
might describe me. But when I go

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to speak to let's say, I'm
going to speak to a group of bankers,

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I've really kind of got to dial
myself back a little bit. And

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that doesn't mean I'm changing who I
am, but that means if I go

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in there and hey, how you
know, and they're not going to be

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able to hear me, And if
my job is to connect to their want

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so they can learn what I have
to share and benefit from the tools I

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have to offer, then I cannot
I cannot lose sight of the fact that

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what they need from me is to
show up in a way that is not

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going to be so foreign for them. You got to make him spy.

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And then then as we develop our
relationship, I get more latitude to let

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myself cut myself, loose a little
bit, let your hair down if you

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will. H yeah, yeah,
but I've already established trust and rapport.

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Then they've already experienced me as genuine
worthy of trust, reliance and beliefs.

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But I haven't. I have to
go in very mindful what do these people

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need from me? What does this
person need for me? What does this

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person need for me to experience me
as genuine worthy trust, reliance and belief

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And what that requires is that every
minute you're always having to pay attention to

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the impact that you're having on other
people's empathy and action. Yeah, being

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very present to that is really a
true talent, a true skill to be

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able to be really present to that
in the moment right. It can be

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so hard to do too. At
least, it is something that it takes

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constant mindfulness and sometimes, you know, sometimes I'll miss it and I won't

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realize that I've missed it. But
my focus of attention has to be so

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clear that I want to connect to
that. M I totally got that,

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and of course we all miss that
sometimes. But to the extent that we

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can be is mindful and conscious as
we can going into these situations right,

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00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:45.119
the better serve that we are right
right, absolutely. And what's so great

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about that definition is I think it
helps with everything. It becomes a filter

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for preparation. So, how do
you prepare for a one on one with

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your boss so he will experience you
or she will experience you this genuine trust,

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00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:03.359
reliance and beliefs. How do you
prepare for a shareholder meeting so they

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00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:07.599
experience you as genuine worthy of trust, reliance and beliefs. How do you

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00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:12.319
dress so they experience you as worthy
of trust? What kind of language do

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00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:17.799
you use when you when you're in
that situation? It becomes a filter for

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00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:23.599
everything, and I like it so
much better than categorizing the situational leadership forces

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00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:26.400
you. I'm not going to put
my visionary hat on, am, I'm

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00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:29.680
going to put my coaching hat on. This requires you, It requires you

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00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:34.119
to exercise all of those parts of
yourself based on what other people need.

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00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:41.200
I so get that, and that
is so powerful to presence that Kimberly before

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00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:45.480
we actually get into Brave. So
I love that. So anything else on

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00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:51.839
authenticic before we actually dive into the
barriers to brave. No, I think

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00:28:52.079 --> 00:28:56.000
I think that we've I think we've
given them enough to be dangerous. Okay,

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00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:59.359
good, that's what we want.
We want our listening to be dangerous

396
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:02.839
to stuff is good, Go forth
and be dangerous with this stuff. Yeah,

397
00:29:02.839 --> 00:29:03.640
okay, Well, I thought it
was really important, you know,

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00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:06.680
you and I were chatting on the
break just to make sure that we could

399
00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:10.160
really position the authenticity piece of this, because it's part of what you have

400
00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:14.319
in your in your definition of brave. So you know, you you there's

401
00:29:14.359 --> 00:29:18.240
a there's a whole section about,
you know, barriers to brave in your

402
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:21.519
book, and I want to be
able to presence this for our listeners about

403
00:29:21.559 --> 00:29:23.319
what's the kind of stuff that gets
in the way of us being brave.

404
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:26.480
So let's talk a bit about that
that section there. What gets in the

405
00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:30.119
way? Kimberly, Yeah, I
think so the biggest thing that gets in

406
00:29:30.119 --> 00:29:33.119
the way is how we see the
world, our focus of attention, how

407
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:36.720
we see ourselves and how we see
the world. What are we paying attention

408
00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:45.440
to? Okay, so how you
see yourself? So our focus will trigger

409
00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:48.519
our feelings, which will trigger our
behaviors. So if you're focused on being

410
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:52.200
afraid. If you're focused on what
people might think, you focus on pap,

411
00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:56.920
you might make a mistake or you
might look stupid. Right, the

412
00:29:56.039 --> 00:29:59.960
feelings that are going to come up
for you are going to be a lot,

413
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.240
lot of anxiety. You're going to
you're going to You're going to feel

414
00:30:04.519 --> 00:30:08.759
a lot of fear. What's going
to happen then, is your the amigula

415
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:12.279
and your brain, the part of
your brain and the sprontal cortex that that

416
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:15.759
is in charge for all emotion managements, going to send all of this cortisol,

417
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:18.920
the stress hormone right through your body. And so you're going to start

418
00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:22.519
experiencing your stomach's going to clench in, your hands might sweat, and your

419
00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:26.799
muscles might tense uff, and your
breath might your breathing might get short.

420
00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:32.160
Right, So you'll have a physiological
reaction to it as well. And when

421
00:30:32.200 --> 00:30:37.200
when you have a physiological reaction,
then then then that will inform how you

422
00:30:37.240 --> 00:30:41.559
show up in the world, right, and it will inform the actions that

423
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:45.799
you take. So when we feel
these things physiologically, will start to do

424
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:52.519
things to protect ourselves, or will
will go into the fight or flight mode,

425
00:30:52.599 --> 00:30:56.039
or will will want to push,
so we try to overcome those feelings,

426
00:30:56.240 --> 00:31:00.519
but it will affect the way we
behave in the world. So our

427
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:04.079
focus triggers are behaviors, which triggers
Our focus triggers are feelings. Triggers are

428
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:08.079
behaviors. So let me get results. Yeah, that's exactly right. Got

429
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:12.599
you can be an example. So
as you know, Alice, I moved

430
00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:18.839
from Seattle to Dallas. Gosh,
I want to say it was about a

431
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:23.400
little over ten years ago. So
I moved from Seattle to Dallas ten years

432
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:27.279
ago. Seattle Dallas very very different
cities, as you know, because you've

433
00:31:27.319 --> 00:31:30.839
lived in both cities, right,
Yes, I have. When I first

434
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:36.279
moved to Dallas. Nothing personal my
friends in Dallas, but I hated Dallas.

435
00:31:36.519 --> 00:31:41.680
I hated Dallas for like two solid
years because I had I decided very

436
00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:45.319
very early on that I don't belong
in Dallas, right, so I would

437
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:48.960
I would go to the grocery store. Now, Seattle is like this really

438
00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:52.279
casual culture. You could wear fleece
to a five star restaurant, right,

439
00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:55.039
you know, the grocery store in
Dallas, people are wearing you know,

440
00:31:55.640 --> 00:31:59.440
three inch chield four inch hields and
bling to the grocery store. I got

441
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:06.519
whoa with that? And in Dallas
people talk to each other in the in

442
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.119
line at Starbucks. And Seattle we
all kept very much to ourselves, right,

443
00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:14.759
And Dallas was flat and Seattle had
mountains, and everything I saw I

444
00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:19.160
would compare and trast and compare and
contrast. Dallas is this, Seattle is

445
00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:24.799
that? And I reconfirmed I don't
belong in Dallas, right, and telling

446
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:29.200
myself I don't belong in Dallas.
Everything I saw, every situation, I

447
00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:32.559
found myself and reconfirmed that, because
that's where my focus of attention was.

448
00:32:32.599 --> 00:32:37.400
That I was looking for reasons to
prove myself right that I don't belong in

449
00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:40.799
Dallas. Well, like two years
into living in Dallas, and I have

450
00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:46.319
no recollection of what happened, but
there was some kind of triggering event in

451
00:32:46.359 --> 00:32:51.039
my life two years later that all
of a sudden, I went, oh,

452
00:32:51.079 --> 00:32:53.119
my gosh, I loved Dallas.
Dallas is the best place on planet.

453
00:32:53.599 --> 00:32:57.359
And I was. It was.
It was hilarious. I would go

454
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.519
for these long walks on Swiss Avenue
and look at the live oak trees and

455
00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:05.000
think, these are the most gorgeous
trees ever. And I would look at

456
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:08.200
the sunshine and sunshine every day.
This is a miracle, and everybody is

457
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:13.279
so kind and warm and friendly.
I just I just love the people of

458
00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:17.279
Dallas. And I remember so distinctly
flying into Dallas after doing a business trip

459
00:33:17.519 --> 00:33:22.559
and I landed in the airport and
everyone looked so dressed up and so nice,

460
00:33:22.599 --> 00:33:24.839
and I thought, the people in
Dallas takes such good care of themselves

461
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:32.759
like that everyone. But I mean, it's hilarious beliefs, because the thing

462
00:33:32.920 --> 00:33:39.799
is, Dallas never changed, got
it great? Dallas was always Dallas.

463
00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:44.559
The only thing that changed was the
way I looked at it, Yes,

464
00:33:44.599 --> 00:33:50.119
ma'am right. And so when the
way I looked at it changed, the

465
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:52.839
way I showed up in this situation's
changed though that I met all of these

466
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:58.559
wonderful people. I started engaging in
the world, because who's going to engage

467
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:04.440
if you believe that you don't along
there? That's it, right, right?

468
00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:07.760
That was a beautiful illustration, Kimberly, Do you really really situated that

469
00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:12.280
so that I think people can understand
that it's all about how we see things.

470
00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:15.199
It's all about how we see things. Now, then you've mapped that

471
00:34:15.320 --> 00:34:20.800
to personal power, right, If
you believe something about yourself. Now,

472
00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:24.440
our beliefs about ourselves come from so
many different things. They come from our

473
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:30.239
experiences and our histories. Our brains
start making meaning of what people say to

474
00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:34.280
us. Half the time is not
making the right meaning. You know,

475
00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:40.519
we're inferring things from from comments.
We're making decisions about ourselves. Right.

476
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:47.000
Like when I was a little girl, I had I had very early on,

477
00:34:47.079 --> 00:34:50.519
and I won't go into the whole
story about it, but very early

478
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:54.960
on, I had decided that I
wasn't Athletics' not yeah, I'm like,

479
00:34:55.000 --> 00:35:00.519
well, I'm just not athletic.
And so when it came to you know,

480
00:35:00.760 --> 00:35:04.679
elementary school, I all the other
kids would be playing kickball on the

481
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:07.320
on the playground, and I'd kind
of hang in the back because of course

482
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:09.800
I wasn't athletic, right. And
then when I went off to college and

483
00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:14.880
then we had to take dance classes
for my my theater degree, I would

484
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:16.679
be the one in the back trying
to not be noticed because you know,

485
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:21.639
I wasn't athletic and I didn't want
people to know I'm not athletics, right,

486
00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:27.000
And I just never got involved in
anything that was that would require anything,

487
00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:30.400
any and any athleticism at all,
because I, of course wasn't athletics,

488
00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:37.599
and then about gosh, when I
was. It wasn't until I was

489
00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:42.800
thirty seven years old when I when
I went to this this I heard this

490
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:46.679
speaker talk about the three day Breast
Cancer Walk, and I got so inspired

491
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:51.519
by what they were doing that I
registered to do this three day walk.

492
00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:58.079
And when you when you do a
three day sixty mile walk, you have

493
00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:00.199
to train, and you have to
train really hard for this, and you

494
00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:05.360
know it because you do long distance
running and these amazing events. But he

495
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:07.800
had a train and I'd never trained
for anything in my life, right,

496
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:13.960
And as I'm on, you know, day two of this this sixty mile

497
00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:17.920
walk, and I've you know,
I've walked nineteen miles that day, and

498
00:36:17.960 --> 00:36:23.039
then they've got these huge hills and
the heat and and I was walking with

499
00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:30.039
like twenty five hundred women, many
of them who had been through chemo or

500
00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:34.760
cancer survivors, some of them had, you know, had just had just

501
00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:39.239
quit chemo. None of them complaining, you know, And it pushed me

502
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:44.800
to a level that I had never
pushed myself before. And when I crossed

503
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:50.800
that finish line after walking sixty miles. For the first time in my life,

504
00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:59.840
I thought, well, maybe I'm
athletic after all, m or not,

505
00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:01.639
I might not be athletic, but
it was no longer my truth,

506
00:37:02.199 --> 00:37:09.159
right because we can have voices into
what you decide about yourself. Right,

507
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:15.000
that's what's possible for me. This
is who I am. And when you

508
00:37:15.199 --> 00:37:19.599
think about how that affects the way
you show up in the world, it

509
00:37:19.719 --> 00:37:23.679
changes everything. Yes, it does. I know that very well because of

510
00:37:23.719 --> 00:37:27.880
the work that we do it Insignium, because it's so much about, you

511
00:37:27.880 --> 00:37:30.000
know, the mindset that we show
up we allow ourselves to show up with

512
00:37:30.039 --> 00:37:34.559
and being president and cognizant to what
is that? Right, because half the

513
00:37:34.599 --> 00:37:38.639
battle is being aware of what is
that that we're telling ourselves. Absolutely,

514
00:37:39.039 --> 00:37:44.400
absolutely, So these are the things
I find to be the biggest barriers to

515
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:47.719
brave. It's the way we look
at the way we focus our attention.

516
00:37:49.159 --> 00:37:55.039
But we're focusing our attention on these
these decisions we've made about ourselves and these

517
00:37:55.079 --> 00:37:59.719
decisions we've made about other people and
the world and how we fit in.

518
00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:02.800
Then we're going to live into that
and it's going to affect the way we

519
00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:07.119
interact with how other people is going
to affect what's possible for us, because

520
00:38:07.159 --> 00:38:14.159
we won't put ourselves out there in
a way that is going to be anything

521
00:38:14.159 --> 00:38:17.559
different than what we've decided. Kimberly, that is a perfect way for us

522
00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:21.519
to let our listeners sit and germinate
while we go on a break here,

523
00:38:21.519 --> 00:38:22.760
because what I want them to get
is I want them to get really clear

524
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:25.599
about being able to have access.
I want them to see that you've given

525
00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:30.480
them access to something for themselves.
So hold the thoughts, listeners, take

526
00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:31.840
a little bit of time to think
about that while we go on break.

527
00:38:32.239 --> 00:38:36.239
I'm Elise Cortez, your host.
We've been on the air with Kimberly Davis,

528
00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:38.360
who was the founder of on Stage
Leadership, who also gave a TEDx

529
00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:43.599
talk called what it Means to Be
Brave. She's the author of Brave Leadership

530
00:38:43.800 --> 00:38:46.400
Unleash You're most confident, authentic and
powerful self to get the results you need,

531
00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:50.320
which is endorsed by Dan Pink.
After the break, we're going to

532
00:38:50.360 --> 00:38:52.760
get more into how we can actually
get to being more brave, developing our

533
00:38:52.800 --> 00:39:09.480
brave Stay with us. Follow us
on Twitter for more great ideas at Voice

534
00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:16.360
America Empowerments. Elise Cortez is a
speaker and engagement and development catalyst. She

535
00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:22.320
designs and delivers professional development, leadership
and engagement workshops and can bring her expertise

536
00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:28.079
to your organization. She will help
ignite meaningful development within your workforce that will

537
00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:31.920
increase employee engagement, performance and retention. To learn more or to invite a

538
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:37.159
lease to speak to your organization,
please visit her at www dot Elise Cortez

539
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:43.039
dot com. She would welcome the
opportunity to help get your employees working on

540
00:39:43.159 --> 00:39:47.800
purpose. We all have unique experiences
and outlooks when it comes to leadership and

541
00:39:47.840 --> 00:39:52.920
team building, yet sometimes we clash
even when trying to achieve the exact same

542
00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:59.079
goals. Check out Unleash your Inner
Goldilocks. How to get it just right

543
00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:05.159
Your hope does Doctor Kass Henry a
shared journey equal success, and every human

544
00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:09.519
interaction has the power to achieve this
success by working together. Tune in every

545
00:40:09.559 --> 00:40:15.800
Thursday at four pm Eastern Time and
one pm Pacific Time on the Voice America

546
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:21.679
Empowerment Channel. The human body has
different levels of interaction and communications, both

547
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:27.400
at an energetic and informational level.
Understand the healing potential and the intelligence hidden

548
00:40:27.400 --> 00:40:31.159
within these communications. When you tune
into human Potential and life Force with doctor

549
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:37.119
Son, our health conditions preventing you
from achieving effective potential? Can Life Force

550
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also known as CHI, help your
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551
00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:46.079
Find the answers Every Thursday at eleven
am Pacific time two pm Eastern Time

552
00:40:46.199 --> 00:40:51.719
on the Voice America Empowerment Channel.
Think you've seen everything there is to see

553
00:40:51.719 --> 00:40:55.960
an online television let us surprise visit
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554
00:40:57.039 --> 00:41:07.480
health, business and more on demand. Twenty four seven. This is Working

555
00:41:07.599 --> 00:41:13.199
on Purpose with Elise Cortez. To
reach our program today, please call into

556
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:17.119
one triple eight three four six nine
one four one. Again that's one triple

557
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:22.400
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one. You may also send an email

558
00:41:22.440 --> 00:41:30.119
to Elise ali se at Elise Cortez
dot com. Now back to Working on

559
00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:35.440
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to Working on Purpose

560
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:37.440
if you're just tuning in. My
guest is Kimberly Davis, who is an

561
00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:43.159
expert on authentic leadership and shares her
inspirational message of personal power, responsibility,

562
00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:47.519
and impact with organizations across the country. She also teaches leadership programs worldwide,

563
00:41:47.559 --> 00:41:52.679
including her program called on Stage Leadership, which runs in New York City and

564
00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:55.199
Dallas. She is the author of
the soon to be released book called Brave

565
00:41:55.360 --> 00:41:59.960
Leadership. Unleash your most confident,
authentic and powerful self to get the results

566
00:42:00.119 --> 00:42:04.159
you need And by the way,
that comes out on January sixteenth, twenty

567
00:42:04.360 --> 00:42:07.639
eighteenth. You can pre order it
on Amazon dot Com now. And miss

568
00:42:07.719 --> 00:42:12.119
Kimberly joins us today from Austin,
Texas. I'm your host, Elise Cortez.

569
00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:15.000
Okay, so Kimberly. In the
beginning, we talked about Yes,

570
00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:19.400
she says, what do you want
them to talk about? So well,

571
00:42:19.559 --> 00:42:22.000
I am too say, this is
just really good stuff. So we talked

572
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:24.559
in the beginning about you know,
why is leadership important? What's what is

573
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:28.840
brave mean? We talked about what
gets in the way of brave. For

574
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:30.840
this last segment, I want I
want us to get to So how do

575
00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:35.960
we get to brave? What do
we do? Yeah? Well, okay,

576
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:37.400
so let me back up just a
second. Release. You know how

577
00:42:37.400 --> 00:42:43.000
when I talked about I did theater
for years, right, yep, And

578
00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:49.559
what I what I learned in the
theater is that when an actor can get

579
00:42:49.639 --> 00:42:52.559
really crystal clear on this is this
is what drives me, this is this

580
00:42:52.599 --> 00:42:57.559
is what I stand for, And
then they can focus all of their attention

581
00:42:57.679 --> 00:43:00.360
instead of on the audience, instead
of these selves, instead of trying to

582
00:43:00.360 --> 00:43:04.159
get a good review, instead of
what people think about them. If they

583
00:43:04.159 --> 00:43:09.000
can take their minds off of that
and instead focus all of their attention on

584
00:43:09.239 --> 00:43:15.760
having some kind of impact on someone
or something on the stage with them,

585
00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:24.159
what it does is it automatically refocuses
their brain, so it overrides their amigdala,

586
00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:29.400
that partner, that part in your
brain that's that's designed to keep you

587
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:32.599
safe, right are amigdala is the
sender for emotion management, and it is

588
00:43:34.039 --> 00:43:37.440
its job is to make sure we
survive. So anytime it's senses risk,

589
00:43:37.840 --> 00:43:42.840
it's going to send those those physical
sensations through your body, which is going

590
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:46.239
to have you do your things and
show up different, show up strangely in

591
00:43:46.280 --> 00:43:51.239
life and protect yourself and not be
as powerful as you can see. But

592
00:43:51.320 --> 00:43:55.360
what happens is if you can focus
your attention on action to achieve impact,

593
00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:02.360
will override your amigdala, so you
don't experience any of those same sensations,

594
00:44:02.920 --> 00:44:09.440
that same sense, that vulnerability that
you feel you don't experience that you're completely

595
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:15.639
focused on taking action to achieve purpose
is connected to who you are internally.

596
00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:22.760
So a focus on action to have
an impact is what allows us to be

597
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:28.199
brave. A focus on action out
to take to impact someone or something outside

598
00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:32.079
ourselves. M Kimberly, you know
what you're reminding me of? Can I

599
00:44:32.119 --> 00:44:35.760
just say this since you tell me
if I've got the right application to what

600
00:44:35.800 --> 00:44:39.280
you just said? There, So
I have the wonderful ability to get to

601
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:42.880
go out and speak to various audiences. And I love to speak to women,

602
00:44:43.039 --> 00:44:46.719
especially about leadership and really being their
true best selves and working on purpose

603
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:51.159
and through their passions. I love
doing that. And of course there are

604
00:44:51.199 --> 00:44:53.760
occasions when I get up in the
morning to go give one of those speeches

605
00:44:53.800 --> 00:44:58.039
and I don't feel fantastic, I
don't feel brave, I don't feel like

606
00:44:58.079 --> 00:45:00.400
i'm you know all that I want
to be able to deliver a message like

607
00:45:00.440 --> 00:45:04.880
that. So I got to get
myself there right so I can deliver something

608
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:07.920
that will be useful to these women. And so what I tend to do

609
00:45:07.079 --> 00:45:10.159
and I prepare for that and I
get myself I work on that place of

610
00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:15.039
intention is I get myself into the
place of doesn't matter where I'm at,

611
00:45:15.039 --> 00:45:17.360
how I feel. What do I
want to give these women today? What

612
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:22.880
can I do here that will actually
it's perfect? Okay? Okay for example,

613
00:45:22.199 --> 00:45:27.880
yes, because what you're doing is
you're harnessing your attention, which helps

614
00:45:27.880 --> 00:45:31.920
you over write your mingula. Right. So now when you're in space with

615
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:38.400
them, you can show up more
powerfully because your focus of attention is completely

616
00:45:38.719 --> 00:45:45.880
What am I giving to them is
active and it's connected to who you are

617
00:45:45.320 --> 00:45:52.719
internally inherently. Okay, So this
what I think, because I have obviously

618
00:45:52.760 --> 00:45:54.840
read some of your book, and
I think what this is connecting to is

619
00:45:55.119 --> 00:45:59.360
you've got a chapter and they're called
action from the inside out. Is this

620
00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:05.079
part of what you're drawing from?
Yeah? Absolutely. So one of the

621
00:46:05.079 --> 00:46:08.199
ways we get to what drives us
and what the language I used around that

622
00:46:08.199 --> 00:46:12.079
as you're super objective, what's the
effect you want to have? What's your

623
00:46:12.119 --> 00:46:17.320
super objective? Okay objective? Ye, remember that you're super objective. Yeah.

624
00:46:17.400 --> 00:46:21.800
One of the ways we get to
the super objective is first to kind

625
00:46:21.800 --> 00:46:24.639
of unearth what are your beliefs and
values and strengths and all of that because

626
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:30.480
you're super objective encompasses all of those
things. Right. And I don't know

627
00:46:30.599 --> 00:46:32.039
if you remember, at least a
few years ago, there was a lot

628
00:46:32.079 --> 00:46:36.840
of talk out there about leadership philosophy, and people are talking about with your

629
00:46:36.920 --> 00:46:44.000
leadership philosophy, and leadership philosophy is
largely your beliefs. And so an example

630
00:46:44.079 --> 00:46:49.199
of leadership philosophy would be, I
believe in respect and dignity for all people,

631
00:46:49.840 --> 00:46:53.000
right, Okay, And that's a
lovely thing to believe. Yeah,

632
00:46:53.039 --> 00:46:57.360
but you can believe that and believe
that and believe that and believe that,

633
00:46:57.400 --> 00:47:02.000
but it's not going to change anything. Right. Whereas a super objective lives

634
00:47:02.039 --> 00:47:08.159
in action, you can't achieve a
super objective from the sidelines. So if

635
00:47:08.199 --> 00:47:14.079
you were going to translate that into
super objective language, if he might say,

636
00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:20.599
a champion respect in dignity for all
people, right, because you cannot

637
00:47:20.760 --> 00:47:24.960
champion from the sidelines. To champion
is going to require you to take action.

638
00:47:25.320 --> 00:47:30.559
It's two. Champion is going to
require you to stand out for someone

639
00:47:30.599 --> 00:47:35.920
you believe is being treated disrespectfully.
Right. If you if to champion respect

640
00:47:35.960 --> 00:47:42.000
indignity is going to force you to
find something to respect about people you may

641
00:47:42.039 --> 00:47:46.519
not like very much, which gets
really hard to do right. Right to

642
00:47:46.920 --> 00:47:52.920
champion respect indignity for all people is
going to require you to create conversation and

643
00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:57.679
stir things up, and it's going
to require action. And the action is

644
00:47:57.719 --> 00:48:00.079
going to require is not always going
to be easy action. It's going to

645
00:48:00.199 --> 00:48:05.599
hold your feet to the fire.
Because if you are truly a champion for

646
00:48:05.719 --> 00:48:07.920
respect in dignity for all people,
you have to you have to say,

647
00:48:07.960 --> 00:48:15.639
well, what action can I take
in this situation to do that? What

648
00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:21.960
can I do in this conversation to
champion respect in dignity? What can I

649
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:25.079
do on this call to champion respect
in dignity? What can I do?

650
00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:31.440
You know in this meeting to champion
respect in dignity for all people? Because

651
00:48:31.480 --> 00:48:36.599
if that's who you truly are,
and it should show up in every situation

652
00:48:36.679 --> 00:48:39.159
you face. And then when you
don't do that, because guess what,

653
00:48:39.159 --> 00:48:44.239
you're human, you're going to you're
going to miss the mark more times than

654
00:48:44.280 --> 00:48:46.519
you're going to hit it. Probably, then if you've got that clarity of

655
00:48:46.599 --> 00:48:50.000
thought, that clarity of focus,
what do I stand for? Are A

656
00:48:50.079 --> 00:48:54.719
stands for championing respect and dignity?
For all people. Right, did I

657
00:48:54.760 --> 00:48:58.400
do it in this in this conversation? Yes? Or no? No?

658
00:48:58.840 --> 00:49:02.400
Okay? What acts and can I
take to get myself closer? So I

659
00:49:02.559 --> 00:49:06.360
self it's the person that I know, I truly am and want to be.

660
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.360
How do I clean it up?
It's just so yummy? It is

661
00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:15.239
so yummy. Now along those lines, we're getting close to the finisher.

662
00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:17.599
If you don't mind, what I'd
love to do because I know there's listeners

663
00:49:17.599 --> 00:49:22.239
who are listening to this and they're
getting the concepts and there I know they're

664
00:49:22.280 --> 00:49:24.119
getting inspired by it. But I
also want to be able to give those

665
00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:28.159
listeners who want to walk away with
like a list or something like, you

666
00:49:28.199 --> 00:49:31.039
know, how can I put this
to work tomorrow? You have a chapter

667
00:49:31.119 --> 00:49:35.239
in your book that gets to six
steps to prepare for impact. Some of

668
00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:37.599
those things you've already talked about,
You've already mentioned some of them. But

669
00:49:37.599 --> 00:49:40.000
for the benefit of listeners who want
to walk away with do these things it

670
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:45.280
will make a difference. Would you
just quickly describe those six steps? Yeah?

671
00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:47.920
Absolutely so. The first thing you
always always want to do is to

672
00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:54.039
focus your attention, So you want
to get clear on what do the people

673
00:49:54.079 --> 00:49:58.519
need from you to experience you is
genuine, worthy of trust, reliance,

674
00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:05.199
and belief. Right, based on
their needs, not your agenda? Right,

675
00:50:05.239 --> 00:50:07.639
what do they need from you?
And then and then inherent in that

676
00:50:07.800 --> 00:50:12.880
is you also part of focusing your
attention is getting clear what's the impact you

677
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:15.360
want to have? Yep, So
what do they need from you to experience

678
00:50:15.360 --> 00:50:19.400
you as genuine? Where the ad
trst reliance and belief? What's the impact

679
00:50:19.400 --> 00:50:22.960
you want to have? If you
can focus your attention on that and make

680
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:27.719
sure your actions are in alignment with
that, the by product is you will

681
00:50:27.719 --> 00:50:31.719
connect to their want Okay, right, They'll want to participate, they'll want

682
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:34.599
to listen, they want to follow, they want to be a part of

683
00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:37.840
what you're doing. The next thing
you need to make sure you're doing is

684
00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:43.519
you want to prepare authentically for that
experience. Right, So what do they

685
00:50:43.519 --> 00:50:45.480
need from you to experience you as
genuine? Where the address reliance and belief?

686
00:50:45.480 --> 00:50:52.880
How do you prepare for that?
You want to make sure that that

687
00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:55.920
if you're meeting with your boss,
you've prepared in a way that she will

688
00:50:57.000 --> 00:51:00.840
experience you as worthy of trust?
Got it? You know what information?

689
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:05.960
What data? What stories? What
what? What? What what kind of

690
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:10.119
preparation do you need to do for
that situation. So using that definition of

691
00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:14.599
authenticity to help you prepare. And
the next thing you want to do is

692
00:51:14.639 --> 00:51:17.719
you really want to come in as
your best self, so you want to

693
00:51:17.719 --> 00:51:22.880
make sure you breathe and remove all
attention. So here's a really interesting thing,

694
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:28.840
at least you know. It's when
when we when we get nervous or

695
00:51:28.920 --> 00:51:34.400
anxious or overwhelmed or stressed, our
breathing gets naturally more and more shallow,

696
00:51:34.519 --> 00:51:38.760
so we start cutting off our breath. And what's really interesting about that is

697
00:51:38.800 --> 00:51:45.639
that our brains need oxygen to function, and so people think, oh,

698
00:51:45.800 --> 00:51:49.280
yeah, you don't need to talk
to me about breathing. I've got the

699
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:52.119
breathing thing down. Yet. At
the same time, when we're stressed,

700
00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:57.880
when we're overwhelmed, when we're anxious, we we naturally do that as a

701
00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:01.000
survival mechanism. Okay. So the
very first thing you want to do,

702
00:52:01.079 --> 00:52:06.320
truly in any situation you space,
especially if the stakes are high, is

703
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:10.280
to just ground yourself and breathe,
okay. And then the next thing you

704
00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:15.760
want to do is to remove all
tension, because tension blocks authentic expression.

705
00:52:15.840 --> 00:52:19.960
You can't go into a situation if
you're carrying a lot of tension. And

706
00:52:20.039 --> 00:52:22.159
we all carry tension in different places
in our bodies. So some of us

707
00:52:22.199 --> 00:52:24.960
carry tension in our shoulders, some
of us in our hands, most of

708
00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:30.199
us our necks, some of us
in our jaws. It's really important that

709
00:52:30.239 --> 00:52:36.719
you can name where do I personally
carry my tension, so you can release

710
00:52:36.840 --> 00:52:40.159
that tension before you go in.
You can roll your shoulders back, so

711
00:52:40.280 --> 00:52:44.400
you take a deep breath, you
ground yourself, you roll your shoulders until

712
00:52:44.440 --> 00:52:52.239
you release the tension so you can
go in and be physically physically where you

713
00:52:52.239 --> 00:52:55.360
need to be in order to connect
to the want of others. And then

714
00:52:55.440 --> 00:53:00.000
you need to go in. And
we talked about this earlier and the apps

715
00:53:00.440 --> 00:53:05.719
present when when I say present,
I mean you need to be so present

716
00:53:06.519 --> 00:53:09.440
that the stakes are you, that
the stakes are like your life is on

717
00:53:09.480 --> 00:53:12.960
the line. You want to connect
as if your life is on the line.

718
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:16.679
Because what happens is we go in
and we have our own agenda and

719
00:53:16.719 --> 00:53:20.840
we're not paying attention to what other
people need. What's going on with the

720
00:53:20.840 --> 00:53:25.840
other person. Has they heard what
we've had to say, and we cannot

721
00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:31.519
connect to the want of others.
If we don't, if we if we

722
00:53:31.719 --> 00:53:39.199
if if if we're not with them, they it's it's impossible. So I

723
00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:45.639
find it really interesting when I teach
executive presence. The very first thing I

724
00:53:45.719 --> 00:53:51.079
say is that presence requires you to
be present and a season in the definition

725
00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:54.360
of presence, So people think presence
is all about charismas presence is actually all

726
00:53:54.400 --> 00:54:01.440
about being absolutely mentally in the here
and now with the people you're with.

727
00:54:01.559 --> 00:54:05.360
And that is one of the hardest
things to do in the workplace today because

728
00:54:05.360 --> 00:54:08.239
there's so much going on because of
the LUCA environment, right Yeah, And

729
00:54:08.280 --> 00:54:15.280
then you're so present that you're able
to pay attention to impact. So step

730
00:54:15.360 --> 00:54:19.000
number five is pay attention to impact. You will if you go in and

731
00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:22.320
say, what is the impact I
want to have. I want to champion

732
00:54:22.400 --> 00:54:24.000
respect and dignity for all people.
Well, did I have that impact?

733
00:54:24.119 --> 00:54:28.599
Yes or no? Got it?
Because if you're not paying attention to impact,

734
00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:31.480
you won't be able to course correct. Kimberly, were almost at a

735
00:54:31.480 --> 00:54:34.639
time, and I'll make sure we
can actually announce where to find this.

736
00:54:34.719 --> 00:54:37.559
So the last one I know is
create to create rituals. Just make sure

737
00:54:37.599 --> 00:54:42.159
you're putting things in place to keep
you mindful of the things you need to

738
00:54:42.159 --> 00:54:45.880
do to bring your best, less
authentic and powerful self to the table.

739
00:54:45.480 --> 00:54:49.400
And that's a perfect way actually right
there for us to finish. I want

740
00:54:49.400 --> 00:54:52.280
to just let you be able to
take that breath and take your bow and

741
00:54:52.400 --> 00:54:55.239
let me thank you for being on
the show and sharing your passion, your

742
00:54:55.239 --> 00:55:00.519
wisdom what you can teach the listeners
across the globe about Brave Leadership. Kimberly

743
00:55:00.599 --> 00:55:04.119
Davis, thank you for joining me
today. I'm working on purpose. Thank

744
00:55:04.159 --> 00:55:06.960
you. Lease. This was a
great fun. It was great fun,

745
00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:10.199
always great fun. Okay, so
listeners, remember I mentioned this earlier.

746
00:55:10.239 --> 00:55:14.719
If you want to get a copy
of her book, Brave Leadership, it

747
00:55:14.719 --> 00:55:17.800
comes out January sixteenth, but you
can pre order today on Amazon dot com.

748
00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:21.960
And if you want to learn more
about Kimberly Davis and her leadership courses

749
00:55:22.079 --> 00:55:27.519
or her sting to be released book, visit her website. It's onstage leadership

750
00:55:27.880 --> 00:55:30.199
dot com. Now. Next week, we will be on the air with

751
00:55:30.239 --> 00:55:36.000
the founder and fireball of a Coola
project. Her name is Brittany Meryl Underwood.

752
00:55:36.239 --> 00:55:37.880
We'll be talking about the work she
and her team are doing to empower

753
00:55:37.920 --> 00:55:44.039
women across the globe to transform families
by addressing poverty through her nonprofit organization based

754
00:55:44.079 --> 00:55:46.960
here in Dallas. She was alerted
to me by one of my students at

755
00:55:47.039 --> 00:55:51.960
Southern Methoist University. When I talked
about purpose and passion in the classrooms,

756
00:55:51.960 --> 00:55:53.239
I kicked it off. One of
the students put her hand up in the

757
00:55:53.280 --> 00:55:55.159
back. She said, Oh,
I've got someone you've got to talk with.

758
00:55:55.280 --> 00:55:59.000
So that is who I'll be sharing
with you on the show next week.

759
00:55:59.159 --> 00:56:00.920
So join us in. Remember that
workers one third of our lives.

760
00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:10.800
So let's work on Purpose. We
hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be

761
00:56:10.880 --> 00:56:15.760
sure to tune into Working on Purpose, featuring your host, Alice Cortez,

762
00:56:15.159 --> 00:56:20.840
every Wednesday at six pm Eastern Time
three pm Pacific Time on the Voice America

763
00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:24.000
Empowerment Channel. This week, find
your life's purpose at work.