Emotional Intelligence and Restorative Juvenile Justice

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on Purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to

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Working on Purpose show. Thanks for
tuning in again this week. I'm your

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host, Alise Cortes, joining U
Lai from Dallas, Texas, which is

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home base for me. If you've
been tuning in for a while, you

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know this program is all about helping
people create more meaningful and productive personal and

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work lives and equipping leaders, insight
organizations to cultivate meaning and purpose that elicits

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passion inspired contribution, innovation, and
persevering performance. I talk with my guests

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to draw and their experience and expertise
and share my own consulting, speaking and

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developing workforces across the globe. Every
week. In these conversations, I hope

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you walk away with something you can
immediately put to use in your life.

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And that you come alive with the
possibility of living with passion, working on

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purpose, and are inspired to discover
for yourself just how big and fulfilling your

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life, work and leadership can be. And if you do catch fire from

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anything you hear, reach out and
tell me about it. Email me at

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a lease at at least coortes dot
com, or use the contact me feature

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on my website to message me and
tell me how I can help. Whether

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you want to join the distribution list
to stay informed of these radio show topics,

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you want to see about joining a
catch fire online inspiration accountability or a

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mastermind community. You want information on
my purpose driven leadership programs for individuals or

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companies, or you want to see
by me speaking for you at your company

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or a conference. Either way,
I'm glad we're connected, and thanks for

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listening. Now onto this week's program
with us today is doctor Trillian Small.

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She's the CEO of Attachment Leadership,
a counseling, consulting and coaching company providing

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custom of my wellness and leadership development
programs, emotional intelligence, corporate training,

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and youth development curriculum. She is
also the founder of Prepare Academy, which

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has a primary initiative focus of mental
health and restorative juvenile justice. She is

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the author of five books as well, and joins today from Dallas, Texas.

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Doctor Small, welcome to Working on
Purpose. Thank you so much.

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It's such a pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

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Oh, I'm so excited about this
conversation. I can hardly stand it.

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And first let me thank our mutual
friend hend To Salmurn for bringing us

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together. Thank you. Yes,
out in the community. And when she

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heard you talk, she said,
you must talk with my friend Elise Cortez.

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And I'm so glad she sent you
to me. So I'm so grateful.

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Yeah, and you know you are
up to so many great things.

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I'm so impressed, and we'll talk
about at least a few of them on

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this program. But one of the
things when I think about you, that

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I would narrow down and boil down
as a core focus is you just seem

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to have this urgent desire to change
the heart and minded people in some positive

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way. So I want to understand
and where did this fire come from?

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And why are you so rivet on
helping people across the world solve this problem?

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Honestly, my passion for this whole
mission of helping transform people's hearts and

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transforming their minds actually came from my
own personal struggles. And so if I

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was to say, my purpose actually
has been fueled by my pain. And

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so I was raised in a domestic, violent household, and so I witnessed

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a witness pain growing up. And
then I transferred that that experience I had

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as a child, and it really
affected the way that I felt about myself,

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and it affected the way that I
felt about other people, specifically men.

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And as I grew older, although
I left that traumatic experience as a

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child, that pain never left me. I carried it with me in my

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heart and in my mind. And
so I wrestled with PTSD, and I

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struggle with anxiety, and I struggle
with depression, and of course I am

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in the mental health arena, and
partly so the reason why I really got

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into this field, Yes, because
I enjoy helping people, but I also

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was trying to figure out what in
the world is wrong with me. Honestly,

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it was what is your problem?
Why are your emotions all over the

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place? You need to figure this
out? And so I did, and

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of course I haven't mastered it.
All, yes, I do have a

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doctorate, but I do believe in
continuing to grow. And I discovered that

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I find the greatest satisfaction when I
can turn back around and look at my

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clients, or look at my students, or just look at my friends and

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family and say, hey, guys, I found a solution to this,

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or hey, this worked for me. And I struggle with the exact same

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thing that you struggle with. And
so for me, that's where my passion

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came from. I said, I
want to help people change their hearts and

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change their minds. And the reason
I believe, or the reason why I

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have such a greater passion is I
believe the health and the wealth of our

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society is truly contingent upon the health
and the wealth of our mindsets of those

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actually living in the communities. I
believe it's completely impossible to have a healthy

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community if the people in it are
not healthy themselves, because you know,

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basically, you cannot reproduce what you
are not. So yeah, that's where

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my passion came from. Okay,
two things to that trillion. This is

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so beautiful. And for our listeners
who have reached out to me and said

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Alice, I don't. How do
I start looking for my purpose? How

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do I discover it? One of
the things that I tell them is exactly

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just what you said, And it's
the same for me too, trillion when

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we look at our own lives and
we tried desperately to figure out how to

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solve our own urgent problems. In
so doing, we can get access to

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our purpose and help others along the
way, just as you're doing. And

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that's what I'm doing too. I
mean, I was one of the walking

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dead. I've been there, done
that, got the T shirt and the

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very empty life that comes with it, and that's a big reason that I'm

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doing the work that I'm doing today. So thank you for being that tremendous

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example. And then yeah, and
then secondly, I just would love your

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perspective as a professional working in this
space and all these years of investigating what's

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going on in the world that you
believe so contributes to the problems that you're

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trying to address, to that you're
trying to improve the conditions of Oh,

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I love that question. I was
actually just teaching my students last night about

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fear, and you know, just
hearing that question, I really would say

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it's fear. If I was to
boil down the issues, and I know

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that's you know, that's pretty pretty
grand y alls to narrow it down to

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one thing, But I would say
the number one curtributing factor is and the

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culprit of fear is stress. And
so if I was to go into my

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my neurological perspective for a second,
stress triggers our fear system, which is

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our limbic system and our brain,
and it tells us that we need to

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either fight whatever is present, whatever
is presenting as a danger, or we

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need to run from it. And
whenever we experience a fight or flight,

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our brains, our brains are basically
telling us there is something in front of

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you, real or perceived. So
when I stay in front of you doesn't

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even mean you are looking at it. You can eat, you can be

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imagining, imagining it, And so
it's your brain telling you, hey,

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we are under attack, real or
perceived. You need to fight this thing

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or you need to run from this
thing. And just think about it for

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a minute. Just from our own
experiences, when we experience stress or when

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we are afraid, oftentimes we can
find ourselves very angry, very irritated,

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very agitated. We can be a
little bit snappy at people and even the

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people that we love, and we
can be very defensive. And so in

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the world I see a lot of
back and forth, irritation, a lot

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of agitation, a lot of anger
going back and forth. And if you

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were to really look at it and
dissect what is going on, I would

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say it's probably fear. And if
we dealt with the fear, I believe

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that some of the stresses that we
are experiencing in the world maybe would subside,

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or maybe it would least decrease.
I particularly believe what a great opening

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for us to have trolly and if
you can boil it down to that,

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to me was the beauty of that
is now you've given us access, because

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now we can name it, Now
we can get to it. If it's

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just a jumble and we don't know
what we don't know, I don't see

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how we can start to work on
it. So I think the simplicity what

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you just gave us is beautiful.
Thank you, Yes, you're welcome.

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And so oftentimes I think we don't
like to label it as fear because we

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don't you know, you're not necessarily
you don't want to be fearful. But

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our brains, our primitive brains,
are wired for survival's sake, and that's

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how our brains so that we can
survive, so that we are not eaten

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by a bear or a lion or
tiger, whatever the case may be.

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But even when in the face of
somebody rejecting you, right, your brain

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can perceive that as a threat or
your voice is not heard. A lot

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of times we're seeing that now in
our world. It's my voice is not

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heard or I'm not being seen,
which then produces a trigger and our primitive

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brain that says, oh my gosh, we're in danger. We need to

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fight back. And I think that's
why we see a lot of tension in

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the world. M h and listeners
for your benefit. If you don't know

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this about about doctor Small, she
has a PhD in clinical account slink,

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so she's speaking not just from a
place of being educated, but also her

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practice. So thank you, thank
you for that. And again, I

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just I can recognize immediately in my
life truly, in just the places where

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I've either gone to fight or fight, I get that. I understand that.

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Well, let's move on to the
work that you do within your company.

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Called attachment leadership. So first I
got I think a name is always

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really interesting and important. Why do
you call your company attachment leadership? There

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must be a story there. Yes, absolutely, I like to be pretty

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intentional with the things that I do, and and so attachment leadership basically came

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from my own theory of practice and
counseling. So I am a systemic therapist,

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which simply means I see problems even
if an individual is standing in front

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of me. I see problems from
a system's point of view. So we

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thrive. We thrive based on the
health of our connections with other people and

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attachment basically the whole, the whole
theory of attachment or connection, you can

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use that word as well. It
was I founded by a gentleman named John

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Bolby way back in the nineteen sixteen
nineteen sixties. Rather, he was a

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pioneering psycho and analyst, and he
basically really helped us to see the basic

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need that we had was to attach
to our primary caregiver. And at the

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time it was just basically having that
primary connection with your mother. Yes,

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fathers are important, but in their
studies they focused on the mother to child

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relationship and they discovered that those children
who had a healthy attachment with their mothers

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naturally grew to be healthy adults emotionally, mentally, relationally, and so attachment

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leadership really just came from that premise. Although there are a lot of complexities

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in life, I do believe when
it comes to relationships, we can simplify

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things, and I believe we have
three basic needs. One is to be

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seen, like see me whenever I'm
talking, like you want to be like

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when you're talking to somebody, you
want them to look at you. It's

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don't don't look off to the far
left, don't look off to the far

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right. Gaze gaze in my eyes
while I'm speaking with you. That lets

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me know that you see me and
that you're present with me. The second

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one is to hear me, like
let me know that my voice didn't fall

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on a death earle let me know
that my voice matters to you and that

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you are attentive to it, and
that you plan on doings something with the

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words that I have said to you. So that's the second one, hear

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them. And then the third one
is to connect or to be attached to

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a person. And we all have
a need to have a sense of belonging,

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even though the most introverted person still
has the innate need to be connected

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to a person. And so I
said, hey, what would it be

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like not if you're not if the
employer became the mother or a father.

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That's not what I'm saying. It's
simply take these basic primitive needs, which

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is to be attached to another individual
and a healthy way take those primitive needs

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and utilize them to help to help
create a cohesive atmosphere at work. So

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it's are you seeing your employees like
do do you even know their love language?

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Do they need words of affirmation?
I was working with one company and

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one of the issues that the employees
were having was they said, our boss,

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doesn't you know, applaud us enough
now? And they weren't even asking

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for, you know, praise because
I showed up early. Of course that's

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expected, but it's when they did
when I did a job well done,

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they said, he didn't say wow, that was great. And basically what

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she was saying was my love language
is words of affirmation. Now, how

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have you known that he would have
said, hey, Susie, that's not

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her name, but hey Susie,
wow, like you did a great job

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on this project. I'm proud of
you, and she would have been happy

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and she would have went on to
the next project. But because he didn't

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meet her where she where, he
didn't meet her needs. She didn't felt

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like he didn't see her, she
felt he didn't hear her, she didn't

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feel connected with him. So yes, it's just using those basic attachment principles

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and leading from the inside out.
So that's where attachment leadership came from.

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It works beautifully for me. I
love it. I'm aligned. I love

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it. Okay, we have a
couple before the break here and I want

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to just hit this whole change realm. I know we could talk a long

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time about change. It's so important. But two questions, why is changed

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so hard for us to deal with? And how do you help people better

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handle change? Yes, yes,
wonderful question. So change in and of

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itself is not necessarily what makes it
hard. It's really just the perspective that

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the person has when experiencing the change. So it all depends on if the

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change was planned or if it was
unplanned, and it depends on if the

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change was positive or negative. So, for example, if a husband and

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wife have been expecting and they've been, you know, anticipating and planning for

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a child, and then she's she
becomes pregnant. That is a change.

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The new child is a complete change. It may be stressed one in the

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sense that, okay, well,
we need to get everything in order,

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but they were prepared for it,
they planned for it, they were anticipating

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it. Therefore, that change is
not stressful. Now, on the other

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hand, if you have a thirteen
year old who just got pregnant and she

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doesn't know who the father is,
or maybe she does, but she's still

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thirteen, that can be a stressful
a situation. So it's the exact same

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thing. Two people are pregnant,
one is stressful and one is excited.

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So it really depends on the person's
perspective. And the change naturally throws us

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off balance, irregardless if it's a
positive word negative, it throws us off

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balance because sometimes we cannot anticipate change. But one time I asked my students,

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I said, well, would you
prefer to have change and you know

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that change is about to happen,
And of course everybody says yes, I

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give me a warning that change is
about to happen. And then I said,

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okay, great, Well what if
your boyfriend or girlfriend says calls you

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up, says hey, I'm going
to break up with you, but next

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week Eric, well no, I
wouldn't like that. And I said,

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well, it's change that you can
anticipate. So when we think okay,

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I want to be pre warned about
change. And this is what basically we

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were saying is we just want a
sense of control. So when things change,

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when things change and we don't we
are unaware of it, or they

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change it we don't want them to. We have a sense of I am

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no longer in control, which takes
us back to our brain. Our brains

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are completely social. That's why I
keep circling it back to that. Our

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brains are wired again for protection.
So when we are off balanced and we

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cannot control our brains, then think
we are in danger again. So whenever

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your brain thinks you're danger, you
either fight the change or you run from

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the change. So a relationship that
should have ended two years ago or three

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years ago, four years ago,
you stay with it. You fight the

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change because you don't want the change, because you're used to what you've experienced.

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But it's difficult to let go because
when you let go. Maybe you

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feel like part of you is going
to leave as well. That'll be more

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of a change in a relationship setting. But really, the biggest thing I

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was saying is that it's helping yourself
see change from not necessarily a positive perspective.

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It's strengthening your brain. We call
this psychological heartiness. If you can

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perceive change as oh wow, this
is a chance for me to grow right

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instead of oh my gosh, this
is a burden, then you are more

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likely to adapt a little bit better
to the change that you have just experienced.

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I totally get that framing. It
a great way to send us into

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our first break. I'm your host, Alice Cortes. We've put on the

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air with doctor Trullian Small. She's
the CEO of Attachment Leadership, a counseling,

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consulting and coaching company providing customized wellness
and leadership development programs, emotional intelligence,

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corporate training, and youth development curriculum. She's also the founder of Prepare

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Academy, which has a primary initiative
focus on mental health and restorative juvenile justice.

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She's the author of five books as
well, and joined us today from

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Dallas, Texas. We've been talking
a bit about how she got into this

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space and a bit about handling change. After the rec're going to get into

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how to address emotional intelligence and looking
for stress and anxiety in the workplace.

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Stay with us right back. Alise
Cortes is a speaker and engagement and development

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catalyst. She designs and delivers professional
development, leadership and engagement workshops and can

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bring her expertise to your organization.
She will help ignite meaningful development within your

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00:17:22.279 --> 00:17:27.400
workforce that will increase employee engagement,
performance and retention. To learn more or

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00:17:27.480 --> 00:17:33.160
to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at www dot

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elisecortes dot com. She would welcome
the opportunity to help get your employees working

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on purpose. This is working on
Purpose with Elise Cortes. To reach our

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program today, send an email to
a lease alic at elisecortes dot com.

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Now back to working on purpose.
Thanks for staying with us, and welcome

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back to working on purpose. If
you're just joining us. My guest is

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doctor Trullian Small, the CEO of
Attachment Leadership, a counseling, consulting and

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coaching company providing customized wellness and leadership
development programs, emotional intelligence, corporate training,

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and youth development curriculum. She's also
the founder of Prepare Academy, which

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as a primary initiative focus of mental
health and restorative juvenile justice. I'm your

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host, Alice Cortes. So for
this next segment here, Trollian wanted to

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focus on emotional intelligence and stress and
anxiety in the workplace, and we were

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giggling about that over at the break, saying who has that? Who knows

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what that is? And so I'm
really interested in fact, I'll just share

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with you openly, you and all
the listeners you ought be hearing this.

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I do have it on my doctor
to work on and increase my own emotional

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intelligence this year. That's one of
the things that I'm riveted on. So

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you do a lot of work in
that space to help people in that realm.

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So tell us, as individuals listening, what are a few things we

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can do right now to start addressing
increasing our emotional intelligence. Well, the

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first thing that I usually like to
help people understand when it comes to emotional

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intelligence is you have to have a
pretty clear understanding of who you are first.

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You know, before you can even
focus on having social intelligence and a

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relationship intelligence, it's well, what
about yourself? I believe for whatever reason,

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sometimes we are the first people that
we neglect, and you know rightfully

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so sometimes we are caregiver, so
we're so used to pouring into other people

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and then neglecting ourselves, and so
to in order to increase your emotional intelligence,

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I would say, the first step
really is to increase your own self

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awareness. And yes, of course
you can, you know, focus on

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your body and how your emotions are
making you feel. Some people are actually

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not even aware of that. It's
where does your anxiety? Like we were

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talking about over the break, where
does your anxiety live? And when I

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ask that question, people are like, I don't know, Like what does

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that mean? Like I said,
when you when you have anxiety, where

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does anxiety live in your body?
Then after they slowed down long enough,

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they realize like, oh my gosh, my anxiety is in my chest.

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I'm like, yes, it's where
it is. Or some people they may

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say it's in my stomach. Where's
your anger? Oh my gosh, my

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anger or my tension it's always in
my shoulders. But sometimes we don't realize

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that, so we just think,
oh my gosh, I always have you

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know this butterfly feeling sach or my
jaws are always ten, that's just how

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they are. No, just your
emotions acting out in your body. And

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if you become aware of your body
and where your emotions are living, you

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can actually, I don't want to
use the word control, but you can

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become more aware of your emotions and
how they are impacting your mindset and your

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mood throughout the day. But sometimes
we wait until the day has come to

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a close and we're like, why
do I feel? But at two o'clock

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your stomach was telling you you're anxious. Something just happened. Pay attention what

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just happened in tend to it rather
than waiting until ten o'clock at night,

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and now you're overly anxious or you're
overly hyper vigilant. But yeah, self

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awareness, paying attention to your body
and where your emotions live because they will

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tell you before your brain actually tells
you what is going on. But also

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it's paying attention and taking time to
look yourself in the mirror and say,

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what are my stories and how have
my experiences shaped the person that I am

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today. When we don't do that, we just think, well, this

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is just how I am. But
honestly, the person that we are is

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simply just a compilation. It's a
repository of all of our experiences balled off

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altogether, and that became you.
But we don't understand who we are because

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sometimes it's difficult for us to look
in the mirror and say, wow,

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this experience happened, and that's why
I don't trust or this situation happened,

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and this is why I'm fearful of
feedback, right, And this situation happened

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when I was six, and this
is why I'm fearful of being around a

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certain type of person. I was
working with a young lady in corporate America.

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She was doing well off financially,
so she wasn't coming to me that

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express. But she said she was
thirty five at the time, and she

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said, every time I get feedback
from my boss, I almost have a

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panic attack. And I have no
idea why it's impacting my work. It's

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helping. And so we sat down, we did a few sessions, and

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essentially, long story short, it
boiled down to she was five years old

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and she drew a stick figure and
her father blowed it up and said,

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that's not how you draw a stick
figure. And so from five until thirty

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five she had been struggling with this
idea of oh my gosh, when I

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get feedback, that means I've done
something wrong. And that's why she always

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had a panic attack where she had
to go into her boss's office and she

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couldn't understand. So increasing her emotional
intelligence, it was simply become aware of

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you're anxious for a reason, you're
fearful for a reason. It's slowing down

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and asking why. Self awareness really
is just sitting yourself down, looking yourself

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in the mirror and saying why why
do I do this? Why do I

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do that? And why do I
feel this way about X, Y,

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and Z? And I would think, once you examine that and then looking

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at well, how's that working for
me? You know, the way I'm

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responding to things? How's that working
for me? Is this the results that

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I want? Or isn't it?
And if it isn't, hm, maybe

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I need to be able to look
at this situation differently or understand at least

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what does set me off exactly?
And sometimes we and I hear it all

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the time, so I understand,
but I say, well, I don't

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want to look at it, because
what if I get overwhelmed by it?

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And I'm like, that makes complete
sense. And guess what it might feel

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emotionally overwhelming if you've never looked at
it, but it's not going to overtake

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you. And this is a little
gruesome sometimes, but I tell my clients

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it's just like vomiting, right,
Like when you hold that stuff in,

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it doesn't feel good, but the
moment you let it out, you're like

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that I got that out. Uh, And so that's what it's like,

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kind of sitting there and dealing with
your stuff and then you know, eventually

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letting it out and eventually if you
feel about it, and your life is

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so much freer, it really is
so much freer. Mm hmm. I

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completely get that. I've done that. I've work on myself over the last

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several years and certainly gotten more insight
into myself and my own triggers, et

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cetera. And you know, how
I'm responding to things and whether or not.

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And part of the reason I'm doing
the work and I'm doing this year

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in emotional intelligence because I don't like
the way that I responded. It hasn't

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worked for me. So we're going
to work on that. So you know,

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it's an ongoing journey, this thing
called being human. Right, Oh,

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it's an ongoing project. I am
on that journey forever, and sometimes

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I get frustrated because I haven't arrived. And then I asked myself, truly,

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like, what what makes you think
you were going to arrive? You're

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not dead yet, so you're not
going to ARRIVEE that's right, exactly.

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You don't want to arrive because that
means you're not growing. And that's right.

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I don't want to be I equate
arriving to being six feet under.

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So I'm okay with not arriving me
too. So so let's take this one

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step further. I was thinking about
this before we got on air. You

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know, we all have heard ourselves
or others say that guy or that guy

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just pushes my buttons, you know, like that person over there or that

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you know whatever. So I want
to talk a little bit about triggers and

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some of the some of the work
that you do inside organizations to help teams

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start to address emotional intelligence triggers and
things like that. So talk to us

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a bit about that work and how
you go about it. Yeah, So,

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whenever I help people understand triggers in
particular. It's just something like you

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said, it's just something that pushes
your button and it it will it'll render

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a response. Regardless of who's pushing
the button, that button will always render

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the exact same response. And so
I tell people a trigger renders five different

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spokes, if you will, I
call them bestie, b E, S

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T I. The being stands for
anytime that trigger, whatever button that is,

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So it's somebody cuts you off while
you're speaking, right, because some

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people that can be a trigger for
them. It's do not cut me off

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while I'm talking. So that the
bee whenever that button is pushed, it's

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somebody cut me off in a meeting
while I was talking. The bee is

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the behaviors. It's what behaviors do
you always have when somebody cuts you off

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when speaking? So it may be
you may become silent, right, you

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may be like, well there goes
my voice, nobody heard me. Or

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you may become very defensive. Right. It can be different for everybody.

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So what's your behavior? That's b
of Bestie? The E is the emotions.

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Every time that button is pushed,
what emotion comes up? And you

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may be you know, you may
become apathetic. You may be like whatever,

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I don't care, or you be
you know, you may fall into

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pity of whom woe is me?
Nobody ever hears me. You may become

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you know, overly angry as well. So that's emotions, and then it's

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sensations. That's the body sensations when
that button is pressed. What sensations do

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you fill in your body? It's
oh my god, my jaws are clenching,

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so now I can't even talk because
I'm so mad because my jaws are

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00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:56.640
tight, right, my jaws are
tight. So it'll be sensations, and

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00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:00.440
then it's thoughts. What comes What
thoughts come up every single time that one

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00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:04.000
button is pressed, And you know
we've kind of went over some of those

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thoughts is all that person is a
jerk, or I'm not good enough,

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my voice is not powerful enough.
Whatever thoughts may come up. And then

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the last one is I it's the
images. What images come up every single

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time that button is pressed. And
it may be an image of you feeling

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like you're about to get fired now, or whatever the case may be.

408
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.039
But sometimes people don't realize. They
think it's just well, no, it's

409
00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:30.240
it's just billy every time he cuts
me off. That's why I feel this

410
00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:33.759
way. Well, it's no anytime
somebody pushes that button, you get all

411
00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:38.000
of bessy b STI, You get
all of those and they come up what

412
00:27:38.039 --> 00:27:42.640
I've seen with corporations, and I
love working in groups because I'm very observant.

413
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:45.960
I do a lot of self report. So it's yes, tell me,

414
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:48.839
you know, tell me what your
triggers are, tell me what so

415
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:52.400
and so is doing, and tell
me what's working what's not working. But

416
00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:57.000
I love just getting in the atmosphere
and watching because you could tell me one

417
00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:02.240
thing, but I may see something
completely different. And so one time I

418
00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:04.359
was working with the corporation and they
came in, well they came in my

419
00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:08.279
office, this team of like five
people, and you know, they were

420
00:28:08.279 --> 00:28:10.799
like, yeah, you know,
this is our problem. This is our

421
00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:11.720
problem, it's their problem. I'm
like, you know, listening great,

422
00:28:14.039 --> 00:28:18.319
but I'm also paying attention to what
they're not saying. By when I asked

423
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:21.640
a question, I pay attention to
the facial expressions, right, I pay

424
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:26.279
attention to the body expressions of another
person. And I was working with one

425
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:29.640
team in particular, and there's one
guy he did not want to come because

426
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:32.680
he was like, how are you
going to help us? You can't tell

427
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:36.079
me anything, and I'm like,
you know, I was not defensive whatsoever.

428
00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:40.559
You know, I wasn't pushing,
but I noticed he was that aggressive

429
00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:48.279
type because there was another team member
always overrid his voice, so that's why

430
00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:52.079
he always had to beat the bigger
voice. And I didn't go as deep

431
00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:55.559
because he was in his a team
and I didn't feel his team was emotionally

432
00:28:55.640 --> 00:28:59.480
ready to handle his tears because he
was about to cry. And I asked

433
00:28:59.559 --> 00:29:03.359
him a simple question of who didn't
hear you as a child, and his

434
00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:07.200
eyes watered up, and then I
diverted back to the team because I knew

435
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:11.240
they were not ready to handle and
support because he needed support at the time,

436
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:15.759
they couldn't give it. So I
quickly provided him with the support and

437
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:19.400
quickly diverted because I didn't want to
then recreate that trauma for him if they

438
00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:23.720
didn't listen. But the same man
that came in very defensive, like you

439
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:27.079
can't tell me anything, left out, shook my hand, gave me a

440
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:32.440
hug, and he was like,
this was actually great. I'm like,

441
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:36.000
oh, well, great, thank
you, But that is the work that

442
00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:41.440
I do with emotional intelligence is really
just helping you become aware of your own

443
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:45.240
story, helping the team become aware
of their own story. And I even

444
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:51.920
interjected myself when I noticed the one
lady was always overdowing his voice. I

445
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:55.759
interjected because it was actually irritating me. So I paid attention to my own

446
00:29:55.799 --> 00:29:59.799
emotions. But it wasn't my emotion, so I knew it was the projection

447
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:03.240
of the emotions in the room.
So that's why it's important as a leader

448
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:07.519
to also be able to differentiate is
this my stuff, my emotions, or

449
00:30:07.559 --> 00:30:11.440
is this you all stuff that I'm
now feeling. And every time she cut

450
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:15.480
him off, I was getting agitated, and I knew it wasn't. I

451
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:18.000
mean, I'm not going to work
with you to balls, so it didn't

452
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:22.000
bother me, and I knew that
was his feeling, and so I stopped

453
00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:25.119
while she cut him off, and
I said, you know, every time

454
00:30:25.160 --> 00:30:26.759
you cut him off, I get
agitated. And so I turned to him

455
00:30:26.759 --> 00:30:29.880
and I say, is that how
you feel when she does that? He

456
00:30:29.920 --> 00:30:33.720
said, oh my gosh, yes, So, but I was a voice

457
00:30:33.720 --> 00:30:37.680
for him because he wasn't speaking his
voice, so that so that's really just

458
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:42.759
the work of EQ when it comes
to working with corporations, it's really helping

459
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:48.119
them see their own their own,
their own instances that are coming out in

460
00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:52.160
the room, but then also helping
the team see how they are influencing the

461
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:56.640
entire team as well. M right, the mirroring and such and bring things

462
00:30:56.640 --> 00:30:59.519
to the surface, so so so
powerful. I'd love to see you in

463
00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:02.839
action, brill and I would love
to see that. So I have another

464
00:31:02.920 --> 00:31:06.960
question I want to ask you about
anxiety and stress, but let me do

465
00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:08.279
it after the break so you can
answer it more fully. Let's grab our

466
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:11.720
last break. I'm Elise Cortez,
your host, who've been on the year

467
00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:15.680
with doctor Trillian Small. She's the
CEO of Attachment Leadership, a counseling,

468
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:21.599
consulting and coaching company providing customized wellness
and leadership development programs, emotional intelligence,

469
00:31:21.920 --> 00:31:26.319
corporate training, and youth development curriculum. She's also the founder of Prepare Academy,

470
00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:30.480
which has the primary initiative focus of
mental health and restorative juvenile justice.

471
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:33.599
She joined it today from Dallas,
Texas. After the break, we're going

472
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:36.240
to hear a little bit more about
that anxiety and stress that we talked about.

473
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:40.200
As well as her work in juvenile
justice and her nonprofit Stay with Us,

474
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:52.400
We'll be right back. Alis Cortez
is a speaker and engagement and development

475
00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:59.160
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional
development, leadership and engagement workshops and can

476
00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:04.039
bring her expertise to your organization.
She will help ignite meaningful development within your

477
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:08.200
workforce that will increase employee engagement,
performance and retention. To learn more or

478
00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:13.960
to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at www dot

479
00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:19.599
Elisecortes dot com. She would welcome
the opportunity to help get your employees working

480
00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:30.480
on purpose. This is working on
Purpose with elease Cortes. To reach our

481
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:37.240
program today, send an email to
a lease Alise at Aleasecortes dot com.

482
00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:45.799
Now back to working on purpose,
thanks to staying with us, and welcome

483
00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:47.960
back to working on purpose. If
you're just tuning in. My guest is

484
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.119
doctor Trullian Small. She's the CEO
of Attachment Leadership, a counseling, consulting

485
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:58.680
and coaching company providing customized wellness and
leadership development programs, emotional intelligence, corporate

486
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:01.759
training, and youth development curriculum.
She's also the founder of Prepare Academy,

487
00:33:01.799 --> 00:33:07.000
which has a primary initiative focus on
mental health and restorative juvenile justice. I'm

488
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:09.440
your host at least Cortes, So
we didn't quite get to this last question

489
00:33:09.519 --> 00:33:13.200
in that group that I wanted to
ask you trillion here and I know for

490
00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:15.440
a lot of our listeners they would
want to hear about this. So just

491
00:33:15.559 --> 00:33:19.079
briefly, if you could talk with
this about their work that you do within

492
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:22.880
companies to help them recognize the signs
of when the employees are anxious and stressed.

493
00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:29.119
How do you help companies in this
area. Yes, so one of

494
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:31.200
the things I really just do is
is I just called it a psycho education

495
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:37.720
or a trauma inform training to really
provide employers and as well as their employees.

496
00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:44.039
Because it's not just enough for the
employers to know how to spot anxiety,

497
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:47.519
depression or other mental health disorders.
It's also important for the person themselves

498
00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:52.119
to be able to realize, oh
wow, I'm anxious, I'm depressed because

499
00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:57.440
it can become so normal. A
person can adapt to working under stress so

500
00:33:57.559 --> 00:34:00.880
much that they do not realize that
they are stressed out, and they do

501
00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:06.559
not realize that their agitation is actually
depression. Because you think, well,

502
00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:10.840
no, I'm just frustrated. But
anxiety or depression can also show itself in

503
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:15.320
irritation as well. And so I
like to help companies to understand the mental

504
00:34:15.320 --> 00:34:21.760
health culture, if you will,
of of their company. Sometimes you can

505
00:34:21.800 --> 00:34:23.880
I don't know if you've ever walked
in maybe not even a company, but

506
00:34:23.960 --> 00:34:28.679
just into a store, maybe even
you know, driven into a city and

507
00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:31.880
you just you begin to feel a
certain way. Yeah, so it's like,

508
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:36.039
wow, like I drove into this
city and I feel exciting, I'm

509
00:34:36.039 --> 00:34:37.760
ready to go. And then I
drove into another city and I'm like,

510
00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:40.559
oh my god, I feel depressed. And it can be sunny outside,

511
00:34:40.599 --> 00:34:46.079
and so it's really it's picking up
on the atmosphere of whatever environment that you

512
00:34:46.119 --> 00:34:50.360
are in. And so I like
to tell employers, I mean, some

513
00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:54.400
basic things to really look for.
Its do your employee's dread coming to work,

514
00:34:54.639 --> 00:35:00.519
Like that's that's a basic sign that
there's there may be something unhealthy about

515
00:35:00.559 --> 00:35:04.639
your culture at work, right because
it was a little bit helllier, maybe

516
00:35:04.679 --> 00:35:07.639
they would want to come to work. So do they dread coming to work?

517
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:12.199
Do they do? You have a
lot of employees who are finding themselves

518
00:35:12.599 --> 00:35:17.079
always in isolation or or avoiding other
people avoiding you. And I'm not talking

519
00:35:17.079 --> 00:35:22.159
about just those who are naturally introverted
and they prefer just to stay in their

520
00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:27.239
own space. I'm talking about those
who and that's fine, But what about

521
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:30.199
those who are naturally outgoing, but
now they have you have found them a

522
00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:35.440
little bit more recluse. That's a
that's a change in their behaviors. And

523
00:35:35.480 --> 00:35:39.039
so back to what we were talking
about of emotional intelligence, the second part

524
00:35:39.079 --> 00:35:45.599
of emotional intelligence itself, but it's
also other awareness. Do you have the

525
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:50.039
ability to pick up on how somebody
else is feeling and you have to be

526
00:35:50.239 --> 00:35:53.559
very in tune as a leader to
recognize that. So they they're dreading coming,

527
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:58.679
they're isolating, their avoiding. Are
they tearful? Right? Are they

528
00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:02.800
tearful? You? Do you notice
that they typically are upbeat, but now

529
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:07.239
they look sad. Honestly, it's
really just picking up on their changes in

530
00:36:07.320 --> 00:36:09.639
their mood. And it's not just
oh, well, she's a woman,

531
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:14.400
she's on her period. It's not
just that, it's you have to go.

532
00:36:14.679 --> 00:36:16.480
You have to put it in a
little bit more effort to ask yourself,

533
00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:20.920
why is she moody right? Or
why is why is he moody?

534
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:22.840
Don't just say, oh, she's
just you know, and her woman time

535
00:36:23.039 --> 00:36:27.559
or whatever the case may be.
It sometimes it goes beyond that. Don't

536
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:30.519
ask hair or your period today.
That would definitely be out of out of

537
00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:35.400
order. But it's just taking a
leader has to become a little bit more

538
00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:37.800
knowledgeable, and really, all I
do is just provide them with, Hey,

539
00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:40.679
this is what anxiety is. These
are some symptoms, this is what

540
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:46.760
depression is symptoms, this is what
a person who experiences trauma may look like.

541
00:36:47.679 --> 00:36:52.000
But then again, even beyond that, I don't like to just leave

542
00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:54.119
it there and say, well,
these are the symptoms, because if you

543
00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:59.280
are a person like me, you
didn't exhibit any of those symptoms externally.

544
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:01.599
So nobody ever knew. Nobody knew
I was depressed, Nobody knew I was

545
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:07.280
anxious, nobody knew I was struggling
with PTSD because I covered up pretty well.

546
00:37:07.440 --> 00:37:09.239
I was what they call high functioning, so I wasn't sitting at home

547
00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:14.079
crying in the bed. So while
you may have some clients who are coming

548
00:37:14.119 --> 00:37:17.480
to work and they're staying after hours, begin to even pay attention to those

549
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:22.559
Because I was a maladaptive perfectionist and
on the outside people say, oh,

550
00:37:22.599 --> 00:37:25.440
wow, you accomplished so much,
but they don't realize that it was an

551
00:37:25.559 --> 00:37:30.119
unhealthy striving. So it's even looking
at those who are overachieving to the point

552
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:34.679
where it may be causing stress in
their own lives, or maybe they are

553
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:38.199
overachieving because they are trying to overcompensate. So it's kind of making sure you're

554
00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:43.480
not neglecting both ends of the spectrum. Oh, that's just incredibly accessible for

555
00:37:43.559 --> 00:37:45.639
us and just for the listeners to
really understand. Part of the reason I

556
00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:50.880
asked her that question askedually in that
question is because when we start to understand

557
00:37:50.960 --> 00:37:53.400
how anxiety and stress shows up in
the workplace and we can start to address

558
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:58.559
it, now we can start to
impact engagement, performance, retention, and

559
00:37:58.639 --> 00:38:01.880
you know, days off the job
and so's that's real, meaningful bottom line

560
00:38:01.880 --> 00:38:06.639
contribution, not just the care and
feeding of your employees, but the bottom

561
00:38:06.679 --> 00:38:09.079
line of your company's results. That's
why I wanted Trillion to speak to that.

562
00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:12.360
So thank you, Trillian. That
was that was great. That was

563
00:38:12.360 --> 00:38:14.519
really great, because I think we
get to a place sometimes where we just

564
00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:17.079
start to accept that this is the
normal around here, you know, right,

565
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:21.039
and eventually once the bottom falls out, now they really have to take

566
00:38:21.079 --> 00:38:23.079
off work when you could have just
been a little bit more preventative in the

567
00:38:23.119 --> 00:38:25.920
fun end, right, And like
you said, and you can retain clients

568
00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:29.800
a little bit more. I've seen
so many were clients have quit because of

569
00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:31.920
the stress of the environment. And
it's not just the workload, but it's

570
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:37.480
the inattentiveness to their mental health needs. Oh yeah, absolutely. Any people

571
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:38.920
will say it's just not worth it
here, right. You hear them saying

572
00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:42.800
that on the way, It's just
not worth it here. Yeah. All

573
00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:45.159
right, Well, we're getting close
already out of time here. I want

574
00:38:45.199 --> 00:38:47.559
to talk about your your nonprofit here. You started yours when I did mine

575
00:38:47.599 --> 00:38:52.400
Mine's purpose on fire. I started
mine in December twenty eighteen, like you

576
00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:55.400
did yours. Yours is called right, we were on the same wave link.

577
00:38:55.440 --> 00:38:59.480
I'm telling you trillion, I'm telling
that this synergy thing is real.

578
00:39:00.039 --> 00:39:04.239
I love it. So you started
to Prepare Academy, and I know your

579
00:39:04.280 --> 00:39:07.320
mission is to prepare, not repair
our youth by equipping a mentally, emotionally,

580
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:10.599
and relationally through evidence based practices.
And you're out to put an end

581
00:39:10.599 --> 00:39:15.280
to the cycle of trauma and to
stop preventable mental illnesses from reoccurring generation after

582
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:19.960
generation. So first I got to
understand where did that idea come from?

583
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:22.519
And what has you so motivated to
address this problem? Yes, so I

584
00:39:22.599 --> 00:39:30.280
named it Prepare Academy really just inspired
by my clients. Just about every one

585
00:39:30.280 --> 00:39:34.960
of my clients who come in when
we do a trauma history timeline, we

586
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:38.800
could couldn't We could always connect something
in their presence, something in their past,

587
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:42.199
and so, you know, I
always have the question of, Wow,

588
00:39:42.280 --> 00:39:45.639
what would have happened if their mother
saw this when they were five,

589
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:47.880
or if their counselor dealt with this, or their teacher called this when they

590
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:51.719
were ten, Well, how would
their life be different? You know if

591
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:54.280
instead of living forty years this way, what would happen? So I said,

592
00:39:54.280 --> 00:39:58.360
I'm going to call this Prepare Academy
because you know, a great Yes,

593
00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:01.280
it's great to have, but I
want to focus on preparing our children,

594
00:40:01.400 --> 00:40:07.199
and Prepare Academy primarily focuses on at
risk youth. It's overall youth development.

595
00:40:07.480 --> 00:40:10.840
Yes, we have a restorative juvenile
justice wing to it, an initiative,

596
00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:15.440
but it's overall how can we take
the youth that we know are have

597
00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:22.559
a sensitivity or vulnerability to encountering trauma
and more stress and maybe even encountering the

598
00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:25.360
juvenile justice system. What can we
do now, right, So, it's

599
00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:30.360
helping them increase their emotional intelligence,
it's teaching them social how to interact in

600
00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:35.400
social environments, it's teaching them how
or it's helping them to heal from the

601
00:40:35.480 --> 00:40:37.559
current trauma. And imagine some of
these kids, they may be ten,

602
00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:42.639
you know, ten, eleven,
twelve and have already you know, occured

603
00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:45.079
so much amount of stress and their
few years of life. So it's let's

604
00:40:45.079 --> 00:40:49.320
go ahead and nip it in the
butt now. And one of my inspiring

605
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:53.119
quotes comes from Frederick Douglass and he
says, it is easier to build strong

606
00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:58.119
a strong child than it is to
repair broken in And that's really where the

607
00:40:58.119 --> 00:41:01.320
foundation for Prepare Academy comes from.
I love it, love it, love

608
00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:06.000
it. I'm a fan. Okay, all right, a couple more things

609
00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:07.960
here real quick before we get to
net of the show here. So,

610
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:09.840
one of the things that you told
me on the phone when we got acquainted

611
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.880
was you're out to cut incarceration by
half. And that is a big problem

612
00:41:14.920 --> 00:41:16.760
as you say, for our brown
and black brothers and sisters. So I

613
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:21.800
want to understand the gravity and breadth
of the problem here, help us paint

614
00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:25.760
that picture for us. Yes,
absolutely so. My organization just recently partnered

615
00:41:25.800 --> 00:41:30.320
with a national organization called Cut fifty. If you know Van Jones, he

616
00:41:30.440 --> 00:41:36.480
is a CNN commentator, he's also
the CEO and the founder of Reform and

617
00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:40.280
so a very initiative is just as
you've said, to cut incarceration in half.

618
00:41:40.760 --> 00:41:44.280
And I've joined forces with them and
said, yes, I want to

619
00:41:44.320 --> 00:41:47.639
do something about this. So to
give you a couple of statistics, like

620
00:41:47.800 --> 00:41:53.119
you said, blacks and browns are
disproportionately incarcerated at alarming rates, almost one

621
00:41:53.159 --> 00:41:58.559
of ten or one of twelve rather
black men a twenty five to fifty four

622
00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:02.079
in jail or in pre in compared
to one in sixty non black men.

623
00:42:02.199 --> 00:42:07.480
So that is six hundred thousand African
American men an imprisonment and rate of five

624
00:42:07.559 --> 00:42:10.639
times that of white men. So
those are our browns and our blacks,

625
00:42:12.719 --> 00:42:15.079
right. And so one may say, okay, well, well maybe it's

626
00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:17.519
just the blacks and the browns that
are committing all the clime. No,

627
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:22.239
that's actually not the case either if
we were to take in racial profiling,

628
00:42:22.360 --> 00:42:25.639
right, if we were to take
in the school to prison pipeline, if

629
00:42:25.639 --> 00:42:29.079
we were to take in and I
can explain that, but if we were

630
00:42:29.079 --> 00:42:34.440
to take in the police encounter with
civilians. We've seen so many who will

631
00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:39.480
simply patrol the areas where they know
blacks and browns and poor people are and

632
00:42:39.559 --> 00:42:45.800
they arrest. And there are so
many poor people as well in prison or

633
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:49.639
in jail. And guess what jail
does not It doesn't help anybody, that

634
00:42:49.719 --> 00:42:53.079
actually can make them very worse.
And so with CUT fifty the national organization,

635
00:42:53.559 --> 00:42:59.760
while we all focus on mass incarceration, my passion in particular is focusing

636
00:42:59.800 --> 00:43:04.920
on juvenile so I focus on a
restorative juvenile justice. And as I said

637
00:43:05.159 --> 00:43:08.360
briefly, our goal is to eradicate, if you will, the school to

638
00:43:08.440 --> 00:43:12.960
prison pipeline. And so that's a
metaphor. It's not like the actual pipeline

639
00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:16.679
you're sending a child through, but
it's a metaphor of saying from Usually many

640
00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:22.639
of these children who encounter this system
were first referred by us by a school.

641
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:24.360
So it's when they got into a
fight, so they call the police

642
00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:28.280
instead of them handling at the school, they'll call the police. But now

643
00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:30.800
the child, it has entered into
this system, and the moment they entered

644
00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:36.440
the system, it's very difficult for
many of them to not continue that path

645
00:43:36.519 --> 00:43:39.840
and to prison. And sadly,
a lot of our money is going to

646
00:43:40.079 --> 00:43:45.800
incarcerating rather than restoring and educating our
youth. So some more numbers. This

647
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:49.960
was back in I think twenty eleven, but the numbers are probably still the

648
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.880
same. But I've seen I've seen
some prisons spend fifty to ninety thousand dollars

649
00:43:54.920 --> 00:44:00.639
fifty to ninety thousand dollars to incarcerate
one juvenile, but the educational system may

650
00:44:00.679 --> 00:44:06.199
spend nine to twelve thousand dollars educating
them. Like that, I'm like,

651
00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:09.519
Wow, you're investing more money and
throwing kids in prison, and the moment

652
00:44:09.559 --> 00:44:15.639
they get back into the community,
they are probably going to recommit another crime.

653
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:19.559
So now the community is in endangered, so you're not actually effectively restoring

654
00:44:19.880 --> 00:44:23.559
or transforming these children's lives. There
was also another article was called prison Princeton

655
00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:29.119
is a Prison Princeton article that said
it costs more to incarcerate a kid than

656
00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:31.079
to send them to Princeton for one
year. So when you think, when

657
00:44:31.079 --> 00:44:36.320
you think about those numbers, you
ask yourself why and now, now,

658
00:44:36.360 --> 00:44:39.119
if from a moral standpoint, if
that doesn't trigger your heart, it's well

659
00:44:39.159 --> 00:44:44.519
from a fiscal standpoint, the people
paying for it is you taxpayers are paying

660
00:44:44.599 --> 00:44:47.000
for to send kids to prison.
And so it's all wow, like,

661
00:44:47.079 --> 00:44:52.119
why why continue to invest our money
where we are getting no return on our

662
00:44:52.280 --> 00:44:55.519
investment rights? That is that let
me tell you, I mean, that

663
00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:59.960
is that's astounding, And I totally
got the point. I don't want to

664
00:45:00.039 --> 00:45:01.599
make sure and give you the last
little bit of time here to talk about

665
00:45:01.639 --> 00:45:06.559
this big cool day you have coming
up here on the Yes Day of Empathy

666
00:45:06.679 --> 00:45:09.079
March fifth, twenty nineteen. I
know you're leading this day an event.

667
00:45:09.239 --> 00:45:13.320
Before we have to get off air, tell us just a smidge about what

668
00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:15.079
you're up to and why it's important, what results you're looking for. Yeah,

669
00:45:15.079 --> 00:45:19.480
So everything that I just talked about
with restorative juvenile justice in this quart

670
00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:22.760
of prison pipeline, we're going to
extend that into a three hour conversation on

671
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:27.159
March the fifth, twenty nineteen,
here in Dallas, Texas, at a

672
00:45:27.199 --> 00:45:31.679
location called Capital Factory. If you
go to a Day of Empathy dot event,

673
00:45:31.719 --> 00:45:36.280
but our Day of Empathy Dallas dot
event right dot com. You can

674
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:38.960
get your tickets. All of the
proceeds for that event. The tickets go

675
00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:44.440
straight to some of the students that
will actually be there sharing their stories about

676
00:45:44.440 --> 00:45:47.880
how being in comma, how living
in poverty, and how encountering the juvenile

677
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:52.760
justice system has truly impacted their lives. But we're not just there to,

678
00:45:52.159 --> 00:45:55.679
you know, gripe and complain about
how bad the system is. We are

679
00:45:55.719 --> 00:46:00.320
also focusing on bringing people in the
room that can say, hey, but

680
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:04.760
there's hope. There are already organizations
on our team who are talking about the

681
00:46:04.840 --> 00:46:08.880
restorative programs. The specialty courts will
have some judges there talking about what they

682
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:13.639
are already doing to help restore our
youth and stop sending them to prison but

683
00:46:13.679 --> 00:46:16.039
instead send them to college or to
in the workforce. But yeah, so

684
00:46:16.159 --> 00:46:21.920
March fifth, twenty nineteen at six
pm and Dallas, Texas. Tickets are

685
00:46:21.960 --> 00:46:24.519
just ten dollars and all the proceeds
go straight to the students that will be

686
00:46:24.559 --> 00:46:29.920
there. Oh my gosh, doctor
Trillian Small, you are a whirlwind and

687
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.199
I'm so grateful to know you in
say thirty seconds, what would you like

688
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:36.360
to leave our listeners with? The
one thing I would like to leave my

689
00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:40.320
listeners with is love truly does conquer
all and any abrena that you are in.

690
00:46:40.360 --> 00:46:45.639
And I truly do believe that love
also heals. So while this event

691
00:46:45.679 --> 00:46:49.039
and everything we've been talking about has
to do with transforming your mind so that

692
00:46:49.079 --> 00:46:52.639
you can transform your heart so that
you can transform your relationships. Ultimately,

693
00:46:52.679 --> 00:46:55.079
if we find the love that we're
needing, I believe we can find the

694
00:46:55.159 --> 00:46:59.519
healing that we're also looking for.
What a great way to finish the show.

695
00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:01.760
Doctor Trillion Small, thank you so
very much for joining us and coming

696
00:47:01.800 --> 00:47:05.679
into my path. If you want
to learn more about doctor Trillion Small her

697
00:47:05.719 --> 00:47:10.039
work at Attachment Leadership or Prepare Academy, visit her website at trillionsmall dot com.

698
00:47:10.039 --> 00:47:14.119
It's just like the number and then
small dot com. If you missed

699
00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:16.159
last week's show, you can always
catch if you recorded podcast. We were

700
00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:20.920
on the air with Rona Zia.
She was talking about her book called Your

701
00:47:20.920 --> 00:47:23.480
Inner Light. Now we really can
create the lives we want. Very inspiring

702
00:47:23.679 --> 00:47:27.400
indep I got many things from it. Next week we'll be on the air

703
00:47:27.400 --> 00:47:31.760
with doctor Cynthia Mickens Ross talking about
her numerous ventures to inspire people and encourage

704
00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:35.679
them to consider what their lives would
look like if only they lived there.

705
00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:37.920
Actually, as they're in the what
if kind of place? See you there.

706
00:47:37.920 --> 00:47:40.320
I remember that work is at least
one through our life, So let's

707
00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:46.920
work on purpose. We hope you've
enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to

708
00:47:46.960 --> 00:47:52.000
tune in to Working on Purpose,
featuring your host Alis Cortes, each week

709
00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:58.800
on the Voice America Empowerment Channel.
This week, find your life's purpose at work