Embracing Diversity Invites Continuous Ideological Re-Evaluation

This episode offers an inspiring and compelling promise. If we want to live in our diverse world with ease and joy, we all must re-evaluate the ideas we accepted as naïve children observing biased adults. Our future depends on us making this effort...
This episode offers an inspiring and compelling promise. If we want to live in our diverse world with ease and joy, we all must re-evaluate the ideas we accepted as naïve children observing biased adults. Our future depends on us making this effort and committing to a journey of uncovering the truth about ourselves and others. There we will be part of creating a world based on compassion for all, rather than small-minded perspectives that limit the potential of many for the favor of a few. We can all learn to employ curiosity and wonder when encountering others who seem different from us on the surface. And in doing so, we will be delighted in the wonder of each unique person we encounter while helping create a connected, peaceful world that beckons us home.
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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,
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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.
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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,
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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and
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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working
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on Purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to
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the Working on Purpose Show. Thanks
for tuning in again this week. I'm
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your host, doctor Elis Cortes.
Join Lai from Dallas, Texas, which
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is home base for me. If
you've been tuning in for a while,
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you know this program is an inspirational
thought leadership platform that advances the conversation.
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I'm living and working with passion,
inspiration, and purpose. I'm committed to
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helping create a world where business and
capitalism are a force for good, constantly
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working to address the immense number of
problems society faces, serving all stakeholders,
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certainly it's employees among them. The
Gallop Organization reports that eighty five percent of
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the global workforce does not want to
go to work on Monday or whenever.
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The shift starts. Let's change that
together and instead make work an enriching part
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of life that expresses meaningful contribution and
helps us grow into our highest selves,
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all in service of the organization's purpose. Each week in these conversations, I
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hope you walk away with something that
changes the way you think or that you
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can immediately put to use. Much
of the content we discuss on this program
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is a reflection of the work I
do. So as you listen, if
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you catch a glimpse of anything I
can do to help, go to my
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website at a Leastcortes dot com and
use the contact me feature to message me
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and let's talk about what's going on
for you and how I might be able
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to help, whether it's consulting on
visioneering for a greater purpose among your stakeholders,
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the vitally Inspired Leadership program, the
online catch Fire learning communities. We're
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speaking for your company or conference at
a rate. I'm glad we're connected,
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and thanks for listening. Now onto
this week's program. With us today for
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the third time is doctor Arthur Cerra
McCauley. He's a licensed clinical psychologist who
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is treating clients for more than thirty
five years. He is a member of
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the American Psychological Association in the Massachusetts
Psychological Association, and he's the author of
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The Triumph of Diversity, Rejoice in
and Benefit From the Interconnectedness of Humankind.
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Also the book called The Soulful Leader, Success with Authenticity, Integrity and Empathy,
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and finally the book The Stress Solution
Using Empathy and cognitive behavioral Therapy to
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reduce anxiety develop resilience, in all
of which we've discussed on this radio program,
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plus many other things that he's done
as well. Today we'll be talking
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about that recent book about the Triumph
over Diversity and what it can teach us
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about how to recognize our prejudices and
bias and learn to be more empathetic and
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curious about anyone who registers as different
from us. He joined us today from
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the Boston area. Doctor Cerrah mccoley, affectionately called doctor c. Welcome back
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to Working on Purpose. Thank you, elis good to talk with you again
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doing this every year. Yeah,
as I said before we got on air,
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I recognize it's because you keep writing
books. So keep at it,
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would you? Yes, Okay,
we need you. So I want to
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start with what I saw as the
premise of your book, and as you
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know, I'm prone to do,
Doctor C I do read the book cover
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to cover. I'm told by many
other other authors that that's not something that
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all the all hosts do, but
for me, that's the reason I host
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the show is to learn and grow. So the premise of your book that
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you wrote it from a broken heart
at the developments in society today, and
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that in it you offer how having
an open mind and open heart and enriches
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lives. Can we start with that? Well, you know, I wrote
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the book at least because I'm just
very disturbed by what's happening in our country
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today. We have the highest rates
of prejudice and hate crimes that we've had
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in many many years, very high
rates of anti Semitism, anti Muslim attitudes,
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and hate crimes, the same thing
through LBGDQ people. And also in
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the workforce. You know, women
say that forty percent of women are discriminated
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in the workplace. Over twenty years
ago, we were ranked high in terms
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of gender equality in the world.
A few years ago we were ranked twenty
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eighth in terms of gender equality.
Now as of twenty nineteen, were ranked
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one hundred and forty nine. So
I'm very disturbed by what's happening in that
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regard. And I'm hoping this book
and you know, the work that you
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do and I do and many others
will help people realize that being prejudiced toward
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others really limits your capacity to grow
when you don't accept diversity, don't embellish
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it, don't realize that people.
If you judge people by the way they
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look, the color of their skin, their religious religion, their ethnic background,
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you're being very shortsighted and you're using
very black and white thinking. You're
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making a decision about somebody based on
their appearance or their orientation. And when
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you look beyond that, and you
know, you know that My work focus
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is a great deal on empathy,
the capacity to understand and respond to the
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unique experience it is of. Another
is that I teach people to utilize empathy,
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to look beyond the surface into the
heart and souls of what another person
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is really made up of. We
know that when that happens, and particularly
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when leaders employ that technique, When
leaders employ empathy and they're authentic, it
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filters down to all people in their
organizations. It does in the educational world,
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it does in the corporate world right
now, I think we don't have
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that in the political world. People
are constantly criticizing each other, calling each
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other names, very uncivil behavior and
unempathic behavior, and that has a profound
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effect on the society. So I
wrote this book for those reasons, because
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I'm trying to find remedies to reverse
what has been a trend for the last
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two to five years. Two things
if I can doctor c before we go
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on is one, I want to
really, of course applaud because, as
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you know, I'm aligned with what
you're doing, which is another reason you
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and I keep coming back together again. And I do think we can do
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so much better as human beings.
We can do better than we are today,
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and so I appreciate that you're giving
us a roadmap to be able to
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do that. And then the second
thing I want to say is for our
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listeners who are listening to you talk
about this so much of what they've heard
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me say before in other programs and
in other episodes and in my programs is
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one way to find our purpose is
to discover what is it about, what
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big hairy problem out there in the
world do we want to help to stand
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to solve? And for you part
of that is it's discrimination, it's not
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appreciating diversity, it's a lack of
empathy. And so it's just such a
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great example, doctor c and what
it looks like when we identify where can
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we be of service and then we
just bring it like you've been bringing it.
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Well, you know, my life's
work, at least, as you
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said, I've been doing this for
over thirty five years, is that to
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help people reduce prejudice, not only
toward others, but beginning within, helping
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them reduce prejudice toward themselves. Because
we all grow up writing a novel about
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ourselves and other people. And I
say a novel because it's based on what
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we hear from other people. If
you grow up in a home where you're
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called names or demeaned, and you
grow up in a home where people are
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making anti Semitic comments or comments about
black people, or comments about Muslim people,
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and they're very derogatory. As a
child, you believe what you hear.
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You not only believe what you hear
about you, you believe what you
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hear about other people. Our responsibility, I believe as adults is that we
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have to make that novel a nonfiction
book we have to find out the facts,
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and this book is very oriented to
it helping people be fact oriented.
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Empathy is fact oriented Empathy slows down
the process and really listens to other people
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to find out what the facts are, not what our preconceived notions have taught
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us from old conditioning. I think
that bears us really going into a little
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bit deeper for our listeners to really
get access to that Doctor C. You
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do remind us in the book that
prejudice and discrimination are learned, They're not
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just part of the fabric of our
being. So just as appreciation for diversity,
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acceptance, and joy in engaging those
who seem different is also learned.
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So I think it's important that that
listeners understand that just because they've grown up
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with these different messages and such,
doesn't mean they have to continue with them
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absolutely at least you know, I
was told when I was a senior in
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high school that I was in college
material and here I am talking to you.
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So we all hear things about ourselves
that, god, thank god,
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we find out are not actually accurate. And it's very important not only about
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other people, but if you have
biases towards yourself, if you have prejudices
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towards yourself, then you don't see
other people clearly because you have blind spots.
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So my work is to help people
see clearly, see the truth internally
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and externally. And right now we're
in a crisis because we're in a time
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in our society where hate crimes are
increasing, not decrease, they're increasing.
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Anti Semitic hate crimes and harassments reached
the record high last year, an increase
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of six hundred and sixty four hete
crimes to the year before just the year
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before. Anti Muslim anti Muslim hate
crimes rose sixty seven in the last three
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years, and an interesting Gallup poll
at least showed that those who hate juice
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thirty times more likely to hate Muslims. Wow, so it's a thing,
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you know that it's that us,
you know, us them, black and
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white thinking, not based on facts, based on fear of not belonging.
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You know, it's cultish. You
know, you and I we've talked about
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group think. You know, it's
that type of thinking that creates that US
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and them dichotomy. If you're not
in the in group, everyone outside of
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that group is an enemy, and
that's what's used to create cults and dogmatic
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thinking. It is what's interesting.
As our listeners here, Brian and Prudence
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are also they're in the chat room
here and they're talking about a question was
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why does every other type get mentioned
except white men when this is spoken of?
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You want to go ahead and address
that. I'm sorry, can you
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say that again? What about white
men? Brian is asking why does every
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other type of every other type get
mentioned except white men when this is spoken
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of, this idea of prejudice and
discrimination. Because in this book, I
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follow the FBI statistics. They're at
the end of the book. So I'm
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following the hate crimes and discrimination that
has been reported and recorded by the FBI,
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And according to the FBI, it's
Jewish people, Muslim people, women,
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LBGTQ, and transgenders more than anyone
else, ninety six percent increase in
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hate crimes. So I'm going by
statistics and also my experience doing excellent deeple
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white men are experienced prejudice at some
point, well, of course, but
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not to the reason that these folks
do. Mm hmm. Very well said,
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And Brian, thanks for the question. Well, so one of the
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things that you do beautifully in the
book, and that I really appreciate because
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this gets to Okay, so we
do have a problem. I think you've
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convinced us all that we have a
problem here and what are we going to
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do about it? And one of
the things that you offer, which I
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think is a delicious way to go
about this, is this idea of deliberative
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pulling, and you describe that as
a random representative sample of people engaged in
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deliberation on current issues through small group
discussions with experts to create more understanding and
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thoughtful, reflective opinion. And it
brings individuals of various perspectives, including those
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from opposite views on many subjects,
to have civil dialogue on many political issues.
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I think that idea is so important
to presence for our listeners because you
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say in the book about how we
tend to hang out with those that are
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like us well to purposely put ourselves
into a deliberative polling situation like this.
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I just see that as greatly expanding
our empathy, our curiosity, our understanding,
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our connection. Will you say more
about how does it work and why
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does it work so well? Well? Deliberate polling is of swept through Europe
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many countries they're using it, and
we have had experiments here in this country
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as well. One was called America. In one room where they brought for
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two days, brought together die had
Democrats and die hard Republicans. And what
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was done was they brought in experts. For instance, they brought an expert
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scientist on climate change, and they
sat down in people and they gave people
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articles to read, and they had
open discussions about it, and the scientists
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was showing them once again the facts. Then they had discussions of other issues
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immigration, should we build a wall? They brought in experts on that,
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they brought experts on the economy.
What happened was they've also listening to people's
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different perspectives and the experts were pointing
out where they were making distortions and they
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were not based on facts. They
might have heard it on social media or
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in the news, but it was
not fact oriented. What happened at the
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end of two days in both sides
meeting, seventy percent of the people said
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they changed their minds. Seventy percent. Amazing. This is what happens in
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my communication and leadership groups at least. And one of the reasons, you
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know, as I mentioned in the
group, that diversity training has not worked
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so well in the corporate world,
is doesn't last long enough, you know,
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imagine this American one room was two
days, two whole days. My
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groups meet every week. They're mainly
people in the business world. They but
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they're you know, half of the
group are from other countries who have come
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here. They've immigrated, they're here. So I have clients from from Japan,
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from China, from Australia, from
England, from Spain, from Italy,
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from Iran, and from India.
And when those people walk into a
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room, and then there's the rest
of the group is white Americans. These
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are all people who are going to
become Americans, or some of them already
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are. But you know, there's
been studies that show when people see a
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face that they're not familiar with,
they kind of repel a little bit,
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They get a little anxious, and
so many of the incredible studies have shown
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that they call stranger studies, when
you reach out to somebody you don't know
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or doesn't look like you, almost
in high percentages, people will say that
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they enjoyed the interaction and they found
that that person was quite different than what
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they imagined. In these groups,
that's what happens. But we meet week
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after week after week, so in
twelve consecutive weeks, so we get time
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to know each other. And people
ultimately value people for their character, not
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the color of their skin, their
ethnicity, or their religion. Well,
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I am one of those kind of
people. I'm sure you probably know this
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about me, doctor Cy, and
I don't know if you remember it,
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but my students also call me doctor
Cy. But so we have a little
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bit in common there. But I
love talking to new people. I was
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just driving in a suburb in Dallas
yesterday and I stopped. Of course,
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whenever I stop into a restaurant,
I always stop at the bar because then
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I could talk to people. No
one is safe, right, And the
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more different they look from me,
somehow, the more interesting they are to
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me. What can I learn from
them? They have a different vantage point
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of the world, they see it
differently, and I'm hungry to have access
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to that. So maybe I'm weird, doctor c. But I do tend
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to I'm drawn to what's different from
me. I don't think you're weird.
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I think you're compassionate and empathic,
and I think you love people. That's
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my impression of you, which is
what if every human being was like you
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the country would turn around tomorrow.
Well, I'm in for it. Well
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along those lines then, I mean, this is one other thing I wanted
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to say a little bit more about. You've already served it up, but
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I think it's so important for our
listeners to get this is you do talk
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about how this book builds on your
previous ones, especially on empathy, and
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you talk about how empathy opens the
door to the commonalities of humanity, like
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we're talking about here, me,
me, reaching across the aisle, and
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that it also removes our lens to
see fear or see people that are different
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from us as being fearful. The
reason I want you to talk more about
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that is because I think a lot
of people don't understand the power of empathy.
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They still see it as squishy and
soft. Yes, and excuse me.
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I think people can confuse empathy with
sympathy. Empathy sympathy rushes into console
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based on identifying with someone else.
Because if you went through a divorce and
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I say, oh, I've gone
through divorce, I know exactly what you're
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going through, Well I really don't, because you may have had a different
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experience than I with the spouse.
But empathy. Sympathy assumes empathy is objective,
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it's fact oriented, and it allows
us to see beyond the surface and
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see who other people really are,
what's their character, and empathy is the
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heart of diversity. And diversity people
oftentimes don't realize increases creativity, productivity,
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and profitability empathic organizations. I mean, if you get ten white men or
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ten white women, or ten black
women or ten Jewish women in one group,
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and they're going to just side what
the market demands and what we should
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bring to market, you're preaching to
the choir. You don't get many diverse
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ideas. When you have a group
of people like the group that I described,
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where you have so many people from
very different backgrounds, the whole world
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opens up. You're now you're talking
and you're looking at the world in the
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marketplace, internationally, not just in
your little world, in your small world.
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I like to differential, differentiate between
small world thinking and large world.
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And that's what happens when you have
diversity. Empathy allows people again not to
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go by the face, the strange
face, or the strange look or the
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strange clothes, but talk enough,
listen enough to ascertain the facts to see
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who the person is and when that
happens, when that happens in an organization,
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when that happens in business or in
education, and when it even happens
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in a family, it's infectious.
It trickles down, just like when you
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have a toxic leader. I'm sure
you as well. You know we've consulted
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to corporations. I can tell that
the demeanor of a leader. When I
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start to walk into a business,
you know, you're greeted by the receptionist
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who seems rather cold. I walk
by two. This is actually experienced.
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I had a few weeks ago.
I walked by a couple of two or
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three men in three piece suits.
They don't say hello, they don't say
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good morning, they just keep walking. Then I go in and meet the
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CFO and the CEO, and it's
the same attitude. Why is that Because
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when you have leaders that are toxic, when you have leaders that are blamers,
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when you have leaders that don't accept
responsibility for their own flaws and mistakes
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and allow themselves to be vulnerable but
also allow their staff or their workers to
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be vulnerable, you don't have an
expansive ideas. These leaders lead through aggression
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and fear and they destroy the spirit
of people who work for them. The
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amazing thing that I've learned in the
corporate world is when you have leaders like
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that, even if a person's bonus
is dependent on that person, they will
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undermine them, undermine them unconsciously because
they don't like them and they feel devalued
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and demean by them. On a
consistent basis, When you have someone who
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is leading with empathy and brings in
a diverse group of people, you know
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that that person appreciates difference, that
person is not afraid of difference. That
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person wants to learn from your different
experiences. Isn't that exciting? That's the
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infectious part. Yes, and I
am. I totally stand to support the
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same thing. And we want to
grab our next break, our first break
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here, and I want to hear
more after the break about how it is
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you make those conversations happen. So
listeners, stay with us. I'm your
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host, Alis Cortes. We've been
on the yeir with doctor Arthur Sierra mccoley,
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who is a licensed clinical psychologist who
has been treating clients for more than
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thirty five years. He is the
author of the book The Triumph of Diversity.
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Rejoice in and benefit from the interconnectedness
of humankind, and also the book
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called The Soulful Leader. Success with
Authenticity, Integrity, and Empathy just two
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of his more recent books. He
judged today from Boston. We'll be right
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back. Elise Cortes is a speaker
and engagement and development catalyst. She designs
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and delivers professional development, leadership and
engagement workshops and can bring her expertise to
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your organization. She will help ignite
meaningful development within your workforce that will increase
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employee engagement, performance and retention.
To learn more or to invite Elise to
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00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:45.039
speak to your organization, please visit
her at www dot Elise Coortes dot com.
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She would welcome the opportunity to help
get your employees working on purpose.
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This is working on Purpose with Elise
Cortes. To reach our program today,
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00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:07.680
send an email to a lease Alise
at a Leasecortes dot com. Now back
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to working on purpose. Thanks for
staying with us, and welcome back to
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working on purpose. If you're just
joining us. My guest is doctor Arthur
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Cierra McCauley, a licensed clinical psychologist
who has been treating clients for more than
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thirty five years. He is a
member of the American Psychological Association and the
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Massachusetts Psychological Association. Doctor C,
as he's affectionally called, is the author
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of the Triumph of Diversity, Rejoice
In and Benefit From the Interconnectedness of Humankind
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and The Soulful Leader, Success with
Authenticity, Integrity, and Empathy, just
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two of his more recent books among
many. I'm your host, Doctor Elise
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Cortes. So, doctor C,
before we get into some of the programs
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that you do, I do want
to surface something really important for our listeners
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that is probably something they may be. It's just so much the fabric of
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their being that they won't be able
to distinguish if we don't do this first.
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So you make an important point in
your book that there is a tendency
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for all of us to want to
socialize within our own tribe, if you
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will, and that what we need
to do instead is to seek the company
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of others from different face or heritage, etc. So, first, why
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do we tend to seek our own
tribe? Well, I think we seek
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our own tribe because of familiarity and
because we feel safe when people look and
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seem and act like us. And
that's normal, that's human. If you
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come from a particular background. If
you're Hispanic, or you're Black, or
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I'm Italian, you might have a
certain affinity for those cultures, and that's
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understandable, but don't block off the
other cultures, you know. I interviewed
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an Indian engineer here, a lovely
man, and he was telling me,
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you know that he lectures to different
Indian groups and different businesses because what he's
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trying to do is get them to
expand and move out of their own group.
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And this isn't specific to Indians.
I mean, we've all done this
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in our own little groups. But
what he said to me, and I
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thought it was profound. He said, when I lecture, I tell my
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Indian colleagues, you want their money, but you don't want their people,
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and that's not fair. And I've
heard this. I mean, I have
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two young men who own several restaurants
in this area and they're Brazilian and they
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get very mad at their relatives because
and their extended family because in this particular
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city outside of Boston, there's a
Brazilian sort of section and most of their
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relatives stay there. They speak Portuguese, they watch Brazilian TV, and they
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don't have a lot of interest in
interacting with people outside that circle. And
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these two young men who are very
much appreciative of being in America and they're
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thriving here with their restaurants. They're
trying to get their people, their choir,
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to extend themselves and learn the music
of some other groups as they have
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and they've seen how they've grown from
diversity. I mean, they have to
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greet people coming into a restaurant.
They can't only be serving Brazilian people.
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They have to serve everybody, and
so do we in any business, in
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corporation or educational institution. Okay,
that helps bring it alive for all of
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us that we tend to seek what
we already know. It's comfortable for us.
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One of the next things I want
us to get to is so then
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we would say, well, doesn't
it help if we just do some maybe
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diversity training or something or to help
the bias. Doesn't that work? And
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you, of course talk in your
book that it doesn't. So will you
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say a little bit more about why
that doesn't work before we talk about some
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of the programs that you do that
do well. The continuity is critical,
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you know, the diversity training has
just been too short in the business world.
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It's helped to some degree, but
it's sort of like, you know,
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when you have a motivational speaker come
into a business or a corporation.
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People have the day off, they
listen to the speaker, they find things
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interesting, and then you do the
follow up study six months later, and
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they highly remember what he said,
except that he told or she told some
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jokes that were funny, and they
enjoyed that morning of that afternoon with their
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colleagues. Because that's human nature.
If you read a book once and you
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get quizzed on it, without reading
it a second time or studying it a
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little bit more, you don't retain
much. So diversity training has clearly been
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too short. The Harvard did a
study in the Business School and they were
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trying to figure out why the diversity
training didn't really result in people acting very
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differently, and again they found that
they didn't really come up with a clear
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reason. When I read the study, I thought, based on my own
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experience, that it just didn't last
long enough. It was like two hours
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and two and a half hour,
two hours one week, and then two
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weeks later they did another hour and
that was it. So if you don't
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have continuity you're not going to get
the benefits of diversity training because a lack
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of diversity creates fear. Fear produces
negative brain changes and reduces our ability to
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think creatively. So it limits,
in essence, anyone's potential to unravel the
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uneasiness that people have and not just
giving them educational information, but when you
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engage in a group, you know, and the kind of groups that I'm
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running, and I'm not complimenting myself, anybody could do this is we're actually
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talking to each other about backgrounds and
people are being educated. I told the
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story, you know, in the
beginning of the group about this man who
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came to me from the Midwest,
Michigan, and he said, oh,
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I'm so glad that I'm seeing you. And he was referred to me by
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his HR department because he didn't like
working with Indian engineers. He went to
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HR and was complaining and they sent
him to me for consultation. He said,
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I'm so glad to be seeing you
because my last psychologist in Michigan was
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Jewish. I said, okay,
what didn't you like about the Jewish psychologists
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and he said, I don't know, you know, I don't know.
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There were no Jews in our town, and I never met any Jewish people,
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and I just felt uncomfortable. I'm
so glad that you're a Christian.
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I said, how do you know
I'm Christian? He said, well,
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you're name Siera McCauley. You must
be Catholic or a Christian of some sort.
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I said, well, what if
I'm Jewish? He said, you
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can't be Jewish? I said,
do you know this forty eight thousand Italian
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Jews in Italy? Right now?
I said, do you know that eleven
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hundred Italian Jews died in Auschwitz?
And all of a sudden there was a
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dead silence. He felt very uncomfortable. He says, now, you're making
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me feel uncomfortable. I said,
I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
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I'm just trying to help you understand
there are Italian Jews. I said,
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now, when you came in here, you were excited about seeing me.
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Seven or eight, ten minutes into
this session, I can see that
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you're feeling differently and he said,
yeah, no, I'm embarrassed. I
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said, am I a different human
being? He said no, I guess
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not. To make a long story
short, we went on meeting for eighteen
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months he joined one of my groups, and individually I knew that he had
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goodness inside him. This fella,
he opened up and he learned more and
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more, and at the end of
our last session, he said to me,
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doctor C, I never you know, I have a home office.
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That's where we're talking from right now
at least. And he said, you
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know, I never see your wife
and kids in the yard or anything,
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even in the summer. And he
said, it's summer. And I said,
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well, how do you know I
have a wife and kids. He
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goes, oh my god, Now
you're telling me you're an Italian gay Jew
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and that's what I have for a
psychologists. And I said, look,
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does it matter? And he said, you know what, Doc, I'm
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all past that. It doesn't matter
at all. And he was light about
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it. He was kidding. And
I thought, that's the triumph of diversity,
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and the work that you do is
really powerful, doctor C. And
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if I may say that I disagree
with you, of course, respectfully,
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I don't think any just anybody can
do your work. And so if we
402
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:40.960
can. Before we go our next
break here, I want you to share
403
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:45.920
a little bit about these leadership and
communication groups where you help participants understand how
404
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.559
they can develop prejudices based on their
ignorance of those they demonize. That's just
405
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.279
so important that we recognize that or
those who are not familiar with So would
406
00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:57.000
you say a little bit more about
how you do this work, what's involved,
407
00:28:57.400 --> 00:29:00.039
how do people come, if you
will, to the other side.
408
00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:06.480
Well, you know, it's interesting
particularly with men, because for some reason,
409
00:29:07.400 --> 00:29:10.880
many times when I get referred a
man from the corporate world, whether
410
00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:14.599
it's a CEO or a CFO or
just an engineer or whatever, I get
411
00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:19.440
told by HI, they don't have
the empathy gene. Yeah, And in
412
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:22.319
my long career, at least,
I've never been told that about a woman.
413
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:29.039
So, and it's interesting because my
daughter, our daughter is a kindergarten
414
00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:32.599
teacher, and she will tell you, and I've interviewed other kidnergarten teachers too,
415
00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:33.960
and they will tell you. When
the boys and girls are out on
416
00:29:33.960 --> 00:29:38.400
the playground in kindergarten, the boys
are just empathic as empathic as the girls.
417
00:29:38.759 --> 00:29:44.599
What happens as time goes on they
learn their role, empathy goes underground.
418
00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:47.680
And in these groups I have to
bring it out, you know.
419
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:51.200
I try to teach people that I'm
not so focused on what's wrong with you.
420
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:55.200
I'm trying to uncover what's always been
right with you. Everybody has the
421
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:59.880
capacity for empathy. Empathy neurons are
in every brain of every human being,
422
00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:03.680
but for a lot of males,
some females too, but more males.
423
00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:08.240
Generally speaking, it goes underground because
their model, their fathers don't like it.
424
00:30:08.599 --> 00:30:12.039
You know, my daughter was telling
me of a little boy that she
425
00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:15.400
said, he's probably the most empathic
boy in my class. And his father
426
00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:19.119
came in and he went to hold
the dad's hand, and the dad roughly
427
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:23.359
pushed the hand away and goes,
we don't want to hold the hands now,
428
00:30:23.480 --> 00:30:26.519
she said to me, She goes, Dad, By the time that
429
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:29.440
the little boy's in the fourth grade, he won't be his empathic. It's
430
00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:32.319
going to go underground. He's going
to have to see you when he's forty.
431
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:37.000
Yeah, that's exactly right. So
such important work to be doing in
432
00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:41.400
the world. And talk about making
a difference with your one precious life,
433
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:45.559
Doctor Cee. I really appreciate who
you are and how you're helping us all
434
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:51.480
get more access to the idea of
empathy, of curiosity, of connection.
435
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:56.279
So important well, I'm very thankfully
you're having me on again and we can
436
00:30:56.319 --> 00:31:00.680
spread the word. You know,
I think this needs to be movement at
437
00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:06.359
least, because we really are facing
difficult times. I mean, obviously even
438
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:10.640
more difficult with what's happened with the
virus. But you know, even now,
439
00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:12.799
you can see the blaming. You
know, this is a this is
440
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:17.400
a foreign virus. It's not an
American virus. I mean, how silly
441
00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:19.599
we got to we have to blame
somebody. You know, it came from
442
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:23.000
another country. It could have come
from this country and gone to another country.
443
00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:26.960
Rather than blaming, why not come
together and work together? Why not
444
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:30.720
learn from other countries what they're doing. Why why do we have to be
445
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:36.079
blaming? Why do we have to
be demeaning? It's affecting the world,
446
00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:38.240
you know. I start this I
start this book with a quote, it's
447
00:31:38.279 --> 00:31:44.599
my favorite quote of all from Thomas
Paine. My my religion is to do
448
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:49.319
good. My my country is the
world. And I think I think that,
449
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:53.880
I mean that summarizes a feeling of
we're all together. Maybe we look
450
00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:59.319
a little different, but we're together. We should be together rather than separating.
451
00:31:59.559 --> 00:32:02.720
We need to be in a time
where rather than people ostracizing and separating,
452
00:32:02.759 --> 00:32:06.599
and you have to pick a side. We need to come together and
453
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:10.119
see the commonality of all of us, not just Americans. But you know,
454
00:32:10.279 --> 00:32:13.720
that's one of my concerns too,
that we don't seem to be caring
455
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:16.759
about people outside of our country.
What about the rest of the world.
456
00:32:16.839 --> 00:32:21.960
We all came from somewhere else,
by the way, and when we don't
457
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:27.720
care about other people, eventually that
creates a kind of isolation and attention within
458
00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:32.440
oneself, because then you become afraid
of other people and the polarization just increases.
459
00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:36.880
Aligned on that, doctor, see, let's scribe our last break here
460
00:32:36.920 --> 00:32:39.440
already. Time flies when you're having
fun. I'm doctor Lee's Cortez, your
461
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:42.799
host. We are on the air
with doctor Arthur Sheer mccouley, who is
462
00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:45.880
a licensed clinical psychologist who has been
treating clients for more than thirty five years.
463
00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:50.720
He's the author of the book entitled
The Triumph of Diversity, Rejoice in
464
00:32:50.759 --> 00:32:54.279
and Benefit from the Interconnectedness of Humankind
and a book entitled The Soulful Leader,
465
00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:59.319
Success with Authenticity, Integrity and Empathy, just two of his more recent books.
466
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:02.480
From Boston. Stee Wood's After the
Break we're going to talk about pathological
467
00:33:02.680 --> 00:33:29.039
certainty. Alise Cortes is a speaker
and engagement and development catalyst. She designs
468
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:34.480
and delivers professional development, leadership and
engagement workshops and can bring her expertise to
469
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:38.559
your organization. She will help ignite
meaningful development within your workforce that will increase
470
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:44.400
employee engagement, performance and retention.
To learn more or to invite Elise to
471
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:50.160
speak to your organization, please visit
her at www dot Elise Coortes dot com.
472
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:53.599
She would welcome the opportunity to help
get your employees working on purpose.
473
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:05.799
This is working on Purpose with a
lease Cortes. To reach our program today,
474
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:12.039
send an email to a lease Ali
at a Leasecortes dot com. Now
475
00:34:12.559 --> 00:34:21.840
back to working on purpose. Thanks
for staying with us, and welcome back
476
00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:23.559
to working on purpose. If you're
just tuning in. My guest is doctor
477
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:28.519
Arthur Cia mccouley, a licensed clinical
psychologist who has been treating clients for more
478
00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:31.239
than thirty five years. He is
a member of the American Psychological Association in
479
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:36.880
the Massachusetts Psychological Association. Doctor c
is the author of the book The Triumph
480
00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:40.000
of Diversity. Rejoice in and Benefit
from the Connected interconnectedness of humankind, which
481
00:34:40.039 --> 00:34:45.320
we're discussing today. I'm your host, doctor Lease Cortes. So as I
482
00:34:45.559 --> 00:34:50.840
as I said just before the break
listeners, I came across a phrase in
483
00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:52.800
this book that I have never heard
before, but I find it quite riveting,
484
00:34:54.440 --> 00:35:00.599
pathological certainty. So would you talk
to us about what that, why
485
00:35:00.679 --> 00:35:05.159
it's important in what we can do
about it? No, pathological certainty really
486
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:08.679
is a characteristic that toxic leaders have. At least it's the belief that I'm
487
00:35:08.760 --> 00:35:14.440
right all the time. It's entering
into categories that you really have no knowledge
488
00:35:14.440 --> 00:35:17.679
of, but you insist that you
are the expert. As spouses, they
489
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:23.400
drive people crazy. They drive their
spouses and their children crazy because they can't
490
00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:29.519
be vulnerable. They're very insecure,
so they have a grandiose tendency. They
491
00:35:29.599 --> 00:35:34.039
don't give answers that indicate a vulnerability
that I don't know, or I'll check
492
00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:37.840
it out with somebody who does know. They don't tend to use good consultants.
493
00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:40.559
They like to have people around them
that are more parasitic. They're more
494
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.599
make them look good, you know, their toxic leaders. Blaming leaders tend
495
00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:53.480
to be pathological in that regard and
often they drastically hurt the spirit of an
496
00:35:53.559 --> 00:36:00.239
organization, whether it's political or corporate, because their influence that goes down down.
497
00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:02.639
They influence people from the top down. You know, there's a number
498
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:08.960
of studies now that talk about the
desensitization of prejudice. Several studies have demonstrated
499
00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:15.119
that frequent exposure to hate speech online
or in person desensitizes those listening to forms
500
00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:21.480
of verbal violence against particular groups.
So when we hear that it doesn't matter
501
00:36:21.519 --> 00:36:24.239
if a leader talks this way or
that, yes, it does this exposure
502
00:36:24.440 --> 00:36:30.440
it lessens the perceived suffering of those
that are being the object of hate crimes
503
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:36.400
because that kind of language encourages hate
rather than bringing people together. And some
504
00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:40.760
of these people, some people with
pathological certainty, have what we call personality
505
00:36:40.760 --> 00:36:46.199
disorders. You know, that pathological
certainty may never change. That's why leaders
506
00:36:46.239 --> 00:36:50.920
who are toxic, I mean,
oftentimes they have to be let go.
507
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:54.679
The board has to decide whether it's
worth having a person that leads that way.
508
00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:59.920
Unfortunately, if you have a family
or a parent who leads that way,
509
00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:04.320
it's horrific for the people living with
them, and especially children, because
510
00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:09.039
it's a horrible model. I have
encountered several of those people in my work
511
00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:14.159
developing leaders and consulting with organizations,
and so I know what you're talking about,
512
00:37:14.679 --> 00:37:20.000
and I have seen them removed from
the organization. Is there for the
513
00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:23.519
so that we can at least give
some hope here? Is there a way
514
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:30.119
to help those people? Well?
You know that's why I said yes and
515
00:37:30.239 --> 00:37:34.719
no. Some people who lead that
way, when they're educated, if it's
516
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:38.639
not an embedded part of their personality, embedded part of their culture, they're
517
00:37:38.679 --> 00:37:43.960
open to changing. Not easily.
It takes a long time. Other people
518
00:37:44.559 --> 00:37:47.920
they're just not open to hearing anything
anything, but they're right, and they
519
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:52.199
want you to idealize them. If
they're not idealizing them, you're not part
520
00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:55.679
of the you're not part of the
group. So they're the ones who are
521
00:37:55.679 --> 00:38:00.519
offered firing people. They're known for
firing people people and go because once you
522
00:38:00.639 --> 00:38:06.679
differ with them, you're not around
very long. You know, John Deane,
523
00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:08.800
You remember John Deane with Richard Nixon. And I believe this is a
524
00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:12.960
true story. I didn't hear it
from John Dene, but I but I
525
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:16.000
read it in an article once and
it always stuck with me during during when
526
00:38:16.039 --> 00:38:20.800
he was in the cabinet with Richard
Nixon. Richard Nixon began when the new
527
00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:22.159
cabinet came in, he said,
I want everybody to be open. I
528
00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:25.559
want everybody to ask questions, and
I want you to feel afraid. You
529
00:38:25.559 --> 00:38:28.920
know, if you have a difference
of opinion, I want to know about
530
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:32.239
it. So John Dene spoke up
and had a few comments different with the
531
00:38:32.239 --> 00:38:37.320
president, and then when the meeting
was over, the President Nixon said to
532
00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:42.519
John Dene, you need to stay
behind. Everybody left it. He looked
533
00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:45.440
at John Dene he goes, don't
you ever contradict me again in front of
534
00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:49.280
those people, and he laced into
him. So it's sort of like the
535
00:38:49.320 --> 00:38:52.639
mission statement of a corporation, Right, they all read nicely, but are
536
00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:57.639
they leading that way? Are they
really are they really part of the mission
537
00:38:57.679 --> 00:39:00.719
statement or is it just a statement
in the front of the building that makes
538
00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:04.239
them look good. Is it just
to seek a certain image for the company
539
00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:12.079
and it isn't really followed through.
So this is so powerful because many so
540
00:39:12.199 --> 00:39:15.000
much of the work that I do
doctor c when I'm inside organizations is to
541
00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:19.599
really help create purpose inspired leaders and
meaning infuse cultures because a lot of people,
542
00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:21.440
as I said the begin the show, don't want to go to work
543
00:39:21.440 --> 00:39:23.039
on Monday. There's a reason for
that, and part of the reason is
544
00:39:23.079 --> 00:39:29.119
they do work for a leader like
this. Yeah. You also use another
545
00:39:29.119 --> 00:39:31.480
phrase later on in the book,
sadistic leaders. Is that what you were
546
00:39:31.519 --> 00:39:36.280
talking about before? Yeah, I
mean sadistic leaders. And you know,
547
00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:38.880
I've said in the book, and
I've settled throughout my career and this is
548
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:43.719
my experience, and I would guess
it has been yours too, because I
549
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:46.960
know your very experienced and have met
many of these type of people as well
550
00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:52.360
as many good people. Sadistic leaders
tend to blame, they don't accept responsibility,
551
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:57.119
and they do tend to have what
I call pathological certainty. They're never
552
00:39:57.199 --> 00:40:00.280
in doubt. They always know.
They never say I don't know. Therefore
553
00:40:00.360 --> 00:40:04.360
there are people who work for them
can't say I don't know either. So
554
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:07.239
people are always saying absolutely, yeah, we can get that, we can
555
00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:10.159
get that to market soon. You
know, everybody's walking around with this false
556
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:15.360
sense of greatness and they know that
it's not true, and they shut us
557
00:40:15.400 --> 00:40:20.320
sometimes when they hear their leaders say
certain things to investors and especially to Wall
558
00:40:20.360 --> 00:40:22.440
street because they know it's not true
and they know they're going to pay a
559
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:29.840
penalty eventually. Well, so I
think that was important to talk about because
560
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:32.960
one, if we can at least
distinguish that that's not acceptable and that's not
561
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:36.480
what we're what we're going for in
life. And then if you are working
562
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:38.559
for somebody like that, then recognize
that that's what you're what you're dealing with.
563
00:40:38.599 --> 00:40:44.199
And if there's a way to address
that or you know, find another
564
00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:46.920
place to play in the sandbox,
then so be it. But I think
565
00:40:46.960 --> 00:40:51.239
it's important that we recognize we've been
talking so much about what's healthy, but
566
00:40:51.320 --> 00:40:53.840
to also recognize the other end of
that spectrum. So thank you for filling
567
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:58.679
us in there. You're welcome.
So for that, we're coming close.
568
00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:00.559
But I do want to do something
kind of interesting and fun that I think
569
00:41:00.599 --> 00:41:05.519
you did delightfully in your book that
I think will help our listeners open themselves
570
00:41:05.559 --> 00:41:07.719
too to what we're trying to do
here at Doctor c And So what I
571
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:13.400
want to do is I want to
invite them into imagine, especially from any
572
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:16.440
vantage point, any religion that they
subscribe to, that they've been they've grown
573
00:41:16.519 --> 00:41:21.199
up with, that they're connected to
and listen to this. What you have
574
00:41:21.280 --> 00:41:23.639
to say about this from the vantage
point that wouldn't it be interesting if we
575
00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:29.039
could do this with everything, we
can still know what our religion is and
576
00:41:29.079 --> 00:41:32.880
we then hear from other people about
their perspective of their faith and other cultures,
577
00:41:32.880 --> 00:41:37.039
etc. So by religion specifically,
you have a part in your book
578
00:41:37.079 --> 00:41:43.519
where Siri Karm's description comes into play
that he says all religions lead to the
579
00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:47.000
same truth, which is God.
And he says Sikhism teaches that each religion
580
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:52.079
contains the whole truth, but focuses
on a different aspect of the truth.
581
00:41:52.119 --> 00:41:55.320
And you go on to listen about
four different truths. I think this is
582
00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:00.400
really really useful and interesting in what
could open the minds of people. So
583
00:42:00.440 --> 00:42:02.679
if we can go through the four
that I sat that I found and let
584
00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:07.039
you weigh in on this and the
beauty of what they bring, I think
585
00:42:07.079 --> 00:42:12.039
it could be fun. So you
mentioned that he mentions Islam focuses on humility.
586
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:15.519
Yes, will you say more about
that? Well, you know,
587
00:42:15.559 --> 00:42:22.360
it's interesting because I interviewed several Muslims
for this book and he's absolutely right.
588
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:25.320
And I have to give Siri Kalm
who's a very interesting Sikh leader in this
589
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:30.159
community, credit for these ideas because
they really came from him in my meeting
590
00:42:30.199 --> 00:42:37.320
with him and his friend, a
Catholic priest, father and Juddy, and
591
00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:45.000
I realized as as I interviewed Muslim
leaders, you know, their focus on
592
00:42:45.079 --> 00:42:49.559
humility is that's why they're bowing,
just like Sirih karmasays, that's why seeks
593
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:52.079
we're white, because they're trying to
be pure in a sense of inviting everybody
594
00:42:52.119 --> 00:42:57.400
in and Muslims. You know,
I was talking to a Muslim leader who
595
00:42:57.760 --> 00:43:00.159
actually lectures quite a bit in the
Boston area, and he said, you
596
00:43:00.159 --> 00:43:05.000
know, probably what people don't realize. And I read the Quran twice before
597
00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:07.000
I met with him, because I
wanted to make sure I knew the facts
598
00:43:07.039 --> 00:43:10.519
myself as much as I could ass
obtain them. And he said to me,
599
00:43:10.599 --> 00:43:15.840
you know, we can't hate Christians
because Jesus is in the Quran,
600
00:43:15.480 --> 00:43:20.079
he said. We can't hate Jews
because Moses is in the Quran, he
601
00:43:20.159 --> 00:43:22.119
said. And in the Koran,
we are taught to go out and make
602
00:43:22.159 --> 00:43:27.199
friends with people of other faiths.
We're taught to reach out and to be
603
00:43:27.320 --> 00:43:30.800
humble that we don't have all the
answers. And I thought that was very
604
00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:37.039
impressive because these leaders, in this
particular Muslim leader in this area, he
605
00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:42.719
lectures to Catholic churches, Protestant churches, Jewish synagogues. He wants to bring
606
00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:46.000
people together. And in this interfaith
movement, I just I had not been
607
00:43:46.039 --> 00:43:51.599
exposed to interfaith discussions, and I
just found it amazing. At least I
608
00:43:51.719 --> 00:43:55.159
just, you know, incomes this
I have a Buddhist statue out in my
609
00:43:55.199 --> 00:44:00.519
front lawn, and incomes this Catholic
priest and this Sikh and them, and
610
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:04.159
they're dressed differently, and they're looking
at the Buddhist statue and they looked at
611
00:44:04.199 --> 00:44:06.480
me and they said they didn't know. They hadn't met me yet. They
612
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:08.480
said, oh, I guess this
is an interfaith home. And they came
613
00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:13.360
in and we had this great discussion
and they're so tolerant of each other.
614
00:44:13.960 --> 00:44:16.320
And one of the things that I
learned too about the interfaith movement is that
615
00:44:16.800 --> 00:44:23.119
inter faith empathy places emphasis not only
understanding different religious perspectives, but also regardless
616
00:44:23.119 --> 00:44:28.519
of religions, they focus on unique
people. You know, they don't greet
617
00:44:28.599 --> 00:44:32.199
we don't greet people of other faiths
by hello Buddha, Laho Buddhist or a
618
00:44:32.239 --> 00:44:37.639
low Muslim or hello Jewel or low
Christian within their faith and their unique beings.
619
00:44:37.960 --> 00:44:40.639
And that's what and that's what they're
trying to do in their movement.
620
00:44:40.679 --> 00:44:45.280
They're trying to say, we're all
unique and sirih Kalm, this wonderful seek
621
00:44:45.559 --> 00:44:50.079
and teacher is saying, we all
believe that there is one God. We
622
00:44:50.119 --> 00:44:53.199
have different branches of the tree to
get there. But we're even within our
623
00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:58.280
own religions, we're different. We're
not all the same. What a black
624
00:44:58.320 --> 00:45:00.920
commentator said the other night, he
said, sometimes I find it funny.
625
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:05.000
He's a political commentator, and he
said, sometimes I find it funny when
626
00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:07.360
they say the black vote, the
black vote. He said, you know,
627
00:45:07.519 --> 00:45:08.960
all black people aren't the same,
by the way, he said,
628
00:45:09.119 --> 00:45:13.320
and then they talk about the Hispanical, the Hispanic vote. The Hispanics are
629
00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:15.599
going to vote this way, he
said, We like one Hispanic big group
630
00:45:15.639 --> 00:45:19.679
and we all decide which way we're
going to vote. We actually have some
631
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:23.599
uniqueness within us. I thought that
was important to understand and emphasize it is
632
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:29.039
it really is and quickly for our
listeners here. So because I were running
633
00:45:29.039 --> 00:45:31.320
out of time, but got maybe
three more minutes left. So for the
634
00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:37.199
sake of this idea of the interfaith
discussion here, Siri Harm then goes on
635
00:45:37.239 --> 00:45:42.559
to say that Judaeaism focuses on understanding. Can you say something about that?
636
00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:49.519
Yes, on understanding, And I
think Judaism focus is a great deal on
637
00:45:49.679 --> 00:45:54.159
meaning. I mean, hmm,
you know, the meaning of life and
638
00:45:55.159 --> 00:45:59.480
very and Jewish people tend to be
that way too. I mean, it's
639
00:45:59.519 --> 00:46:05.280
interesting because I have several Israeli patients
now and they really they're very interesting because
640
00:46:05.320 --> 00:46:09.760
they like to dialogue, they like
to debate, you know, really try
641
00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:14.239
to get to the facts and they'll
take a position, but then they'll alter
642
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:16.880
it depending on what you say.
And it is very interesting. I've learned
643
00:46:16.920 --> 00:46:21.079
a great deal. I learned a
great deal in one of my clients and
644
00:46:21.400 --> 00:46:24.519
Israelly. He's just very open,
you know, he talks about you know,
645
00:46:24.559 --> 00:46:28.840
he says, one of the difficulties
is as being in Israeli, we
646
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:30.480
don't want to talk about the Palestinians. We don't want to talk about the
647
00:46:30.519 --> 00:46:34.440
Arabs. He said. When I
was in school, we could study every
648
00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:37.119
language but Arabic. And he said, and there are our cousins and our
649
00:46:37.159 --> 00:46:40.039
neighbors. He said, when you
think of it, how silly it is.
650
00:46:40.880 --> 00:46:44.719
You know, he's a man that
was raised in a certain way.
651
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:50.079
In fact, his father was a
friend of Schendler, you know from Shendla's
652
00:46:50.119 --> 00:46:53.800
list. Yes, he actually brought
me a picture of Schendler and his father
653
00:46:53.880 --> 00:46:59.480
because his father was a principal in
Israel. But he's seeing through the dogma
654
00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:02.239
that he's been exposed to, and
he's seeing that both groups have something to
655
00:47:02.280 --> 00:47:07.320
say and both groups could unite.
But if we don't want to talk to
656
00:47:07.400 --> 00:47:09.719
each other, or we're told we
can't talk to each other because that other
657
00:47:10.119 --> 00:47:15.239
group is evil, nothing happens.
Mm hmmmm hmm. That's why I thought
658
00:47:15.280 --> 00:47:17.360
this was such a beautiful thing to
open up for our listeners, is imagine
659
00:47:17.400 --> 00:47:20.679
if you could be in that space. And it kind of goes back to
660
00:47:21.320 --> 00:47:25.280
that topic we had before about what
was that that something about polling? What
661
00:47:25.320 --> 00:47:30.360
do you call that deliberated polling?
Yes, all right, so we're getting
662
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.400
close, but can you just say
a couple of words about the focus that
663
00:47:32.440 --> 00:47:37.800
He says that Christianity's focused on unconditional
love, which is evidenced by God's sacrifice
664
00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:40.039
for his only son for all of
us. Yes, maybe a minute on
665
00:47:40.079 --> 00:47:44.840
that. Yeah, I think here
she's spoken to he's focusing on Jesus on
666
00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:50.159
the cross, that he sacrificed himself
for us. So it's very obvious that
667
00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:54.239
that happened, and he indicated Jesus
as saying, I have unconditional love for
668
00:47:54.280 --> 00:48:00.920
all human beings because I'm sacrificing myself
for this purpose. Mmm mm hmmm.
669
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:04.320
I think that just opens something when
you can start to recognize that they that
670
00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:08.079
these faiths focus on a different aspect
of truth. I just feel like that
671
00:48:08.199 --> 00:48:13.000
just opens so much. So here
we are toward the end already, doctor
672
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:15.880
c. It's amazing to me.
But I want to finish with if with
673
00:48:15.960 --> 00:48:19.840
this idea what I consider to be
the promise of your book, And so
674
00:48:20.039 --> 00:48:22.400
if you want to live in our
diverse world with ease and joy, you
675
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:27.400
must we all must, You say, reevaluate the ideas we accepted based on
676
00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:31.079
being naive children, observing biased adults. You say, your future, our
677
00:48:31.119 --> 00:48:36.199
future depends on making this effort.
Commit to a journey of uncovering the truth
678
00:48:36.239 --> 00:48:38.559
about yourself and others, and you
will be part of making a world based
679
00:48:38.599 --> 00:48:43.639
on compassion for all, rather than
a world based on small minded perspectives that
680
00:48:43.679 --> 00:48:45.960
limit the potential of many for the
favor of a few. The more we
681
00:48:46.039 --> 00:48:51.079
encounter others who see different on the
who seem different on the surface, the
682
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:55.079
more we find out who we really
are. That is stunningly beautiful. Thank
683
00:48:55.119 --> 00:49:00.519
you, Thank you very much.
So here we are toward the end.
684
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:04.039
I just want to give you the
chance to close. You know, this
685
00:49:04.159 --> 00:49:07.440
is a thought leadership platform that's designed
to advance the conversation on meeting passion,
686
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.719
inspiration, purpose in life and at
work. In about say thirty seconds,
687
00:49:12.719 --> 00:49:15.320
what would you like to leave our
listeners with. Well, I'd like to
688
00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:19.239
leave the listeners with the fact that
empathy and the acceptance of diversity, it's
689
00:49:19.280 --> 00:49:22.480
going to expand your mind, give
you a greater sense of ease in the
690
00:49:22.519 --> 00:49:27.320
world, in addition to causing a
positive brain change, which will absolutely result
691
00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:31.559
in a highest spirited and successful company, family, community. But it'll also
692
00:49:31.639 --> 00:49:37.119
be part of reversing the dangerous trend
in our society of prejudice and hate.
693
00:49:37.360 --> 00:49:40.559
Beautiful way to finish, Doctor Sara
McCauley, thank you again for coming back,
694
00:49:40.679 --> 00:49:44.679
staying in my world, doing the
important work that you're doing and helping
695
00:49:44.719 --> 00:49:46.800
make the world a better place.
Thank you, Thank you very much,
696
00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:52.079
Elise, thank you very very much. I appreciate it very very humbling for
697
00:49:52.159 --> 00:49:54.760
me to talk with you. You're
such a bright person and such a great
698
00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:58.679
interviewer, and I know you're on
the same path and trying to do the
699
00:49:58.719 --> 00:50:00.679
same thing. So thank you very
much. I sure am. Thank you.
700
00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:04.920
Listeners, you want to learn more
about doctor Arthur Seer McCauley, his
701
00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:07.920
work or any of his books,
the best place to start is probably his
702
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:13.880
website is personal website which is balance
your Success dot com. Last week,
703
00:50:13.880 --> 00:50:15.719
you to miss the live show,
you can always catch a be recorded podcast.
704
00:50:15.800 --> 00:50:21.559
We were on the earth President and
General Counsel Counsel Hugh Welsh of DSM
705
00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:25.159
talking about how their purpose led and
performance driven culture makes them profitable, gets
706
00:50:25.159 --> 00:50:29.519
them through the hard times, and
what they're doing in response to the coronavirus.
707
00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:31.960
Next week, we'll be on the
air with Lewis Efron of The Voice
708
00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:37.440
of Purpose talking about his book and
practice and where purpose meets execution, helping
709
00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:40.800
companies get the right balance between the
two to drive profitability and ongoing relevance.
710
00:50:42.119 --> 00:50:44.559
Remember that work is at least a
third of our life, So let's work
711
00:50:44.599 --> 00:50:52.360
on Purpose. See you there,
Well, we hope you've enjoyed this week's
712
00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:55.880
program. Be sure to tune in
to Working on Purpose, featuring your host
713
00:50:57.000 --> 00:51:01.320
Alis Cortes, each week on the
Voice of America Empartment channel. This week,
714
00:51:01.559 --> 00:51:04.920
find your life's purpose at work.





















































