Confidence: The Essential Performance Tool

WEBVTT

1
00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:09.439
What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

2
00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:14.679
People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

3
00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:19.519
and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

4
00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:24.760
inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential. Business can be

5
00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:29.480
such a force for good in the
world, elevating humanity. In our program,

6
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:33.520
we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want

7
00:00:34.200 --> 00:00:41.560
working on purpose. Now Here is
your host, doctor Elise Cortez. Welcome

8
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:44.359
back to the Working on Purpose Program
EXTOR tuning in again this week. Great

9
00:00:44.359 --> 00:00:47.000
to have you. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes. Joining you lie

10
00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.560
from Dallas, which is home based
for me. If you don't know me

11
00:00:49.640 --> 00:00:53.960
yet, I'm a management consultant specializing
in meaning and purpose, organizational local therapist,

12
00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:57.640
inspirational speaker, social scientist, and
author. My team and I help

13
00:00:57.640 --> 00:01:02.159
companies discover and articulate their purpose and
into their culture and operations. Who work

14
00:01:02.200 --> 00:01:07.040
with forward thinking or forward reaching organizations
to develop inspirational leaders who create cultures where

15
00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:10.200
people actually want to come to work
and do their best. And we provide

16
00:01:10.200 --> 00:01:14.359
programs like the Grab Augusto that enable
individual team members to discover, unleash their

17
00:01:14.359 --> 00:01:18.359
passionate and purpose at work to catalyze
fulfilment, engagement, and productivity. You

18
00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:21.879
can learn more about us and how
we can work together at eleast Cortez dot

19
00:01:21.879 --> 00:01:25.719
com. With us today is doctor
Nate Sensor. He is the director of

20
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:30.200
Performance Psychology Program at the United States
Military Academy at West Point, the most

21
00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:34.519
comprehensive mental training program in the country, where since nineteen ninety two he has

22
00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:38.239
helped prepare cadets for leadership in the
US Army. He also has been the

23
00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:42.120
sport the sports Psychology mentor for numerous
elite athletes, including two time Super Bowl

24
00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:49.040
MVP Eli Manning and the NHL's Philadelphia
Flyers, as well as many Olympians and

25
00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:53.840
NCUBAA champions. He is the author
of The Confident Mind, a battle tested

26
00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:57.840
Guide to Unshakable Performance, which we'll
be talking about on today's program. You

27
00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:01.439
know to today from the New York
Hudson's River Valley area, Doctor Zenzer aka

28
00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:06.560
doctor Z, Welcome to Working on
Purpose. Thank you for the in fight,

29
00:02:06.879 --> 00:02:09.439
Doctor c. This is a treat
you know, It's so great.

30
00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:14.599
I've had I had I had a
gene on the show step four times.

31
00:02:14.680 --> 00:02:16.639
He is doctor C just like me. So we're gonna have fun with this,

32
00:02:17.240 --> 00:02:20.560
right Okay. So, as I
told you before we got on the

33
00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:23.039
air, Doctors Zenser, I think
your book is phenomenal. It's incredibly important,

34
00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:27.479
and certainly in the work that I
do inside organizations with leaders, confidence

35
00:02:27.560 --> 00:02:30.840
is critical. So we're going to
start to show a little bit backwards.

36
00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:32.800
Rather than starting with what is confidence, I want to talk about why it's

37
00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:38.240
important. So first thing that you
say in your book is you say confidence

38
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:43.039
makes one's peak performance possible, and
that's why it's of such great importance to

39
00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:46.199
anyone who has to step into an
arena or deliver their best skill or their

40
00:02:46.199 --> 00:02:50.280
best their best performance. Tell us
a little bit more about this, this

41
00:02:50.360 --> 00:02:55.039
notion of how does it make our
best peak performance possible? When we are

42
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:59.000
in a state of confidence, when
we were in a state of certainty,

43
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:05.159
there is is a lot less buzzing
around in our brains, fewer thoughts about

44
00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:07.639
what might happen, what could happen, what should happen, what should not

45
00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:16.000
happen. Anytime we have those last
log of discursive thoughts, anytime that is

46
00:03:16.039 --> 00:03:21.000
going around. That's sucking up our
bandwidth, that's sucking up our energy,

47
00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:24.680
that's making it harder for us to
actually pay attention to what does matter,

48
00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:31.159
the conversation we're in, the ball
we're trying to hit, and so by

49
00:03:31.319 --> 00:03:37.400
interfering with what's coming in, those
thoughts make it harder for us to actually

50
00:03:37.439 --> 00:03:43.400
be present. Those thoughts also make
it harder for our accumulated memories to go

51
00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:47.280
back and pull out from our experience
the right response in the moment, because

52
00:03:47.319 --> 00:03:54.280
again there's all this interference. Further, all that discursive thought interferes with the

53
00:03:54.319 --> 00:04:00.479
delivery of the proper instructions through our
nervous system to our eyes, to our

54
00:04:00.520 --> 00:04:03.919
hands, to our feet, to
our body, to our mouth, in

55
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:10.280
order to deliver the best response in
the moment to what is actually out there.

56
00:04:10.840 --> 00:04:15.159
That's why a sense of confidence,
a sense of certainty, is so

57
00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:18.560
important. And we're gonna we're gonna
peel that back quite a good as we

58
00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:23.959
go along. But next, let's
talk about your actual operational definition of confidence.

59
00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:30.319
Certainly, I try to put it
in a very concrete context for people

60
00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:33.439
who actually have to go out there
and do things. Most definitions of confidence

61
00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:40.360
are rather abstract that they're just sort
of conceptual, but they don't really help

62
00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:45.720
you function. And my definition is
simply this confidence is a sense of certainty

63
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:49.360
you have about an ability or a
group of abilities, which allows you to

64
00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:57.879
execute those abilities basically without thinking very
much about them, basically act unconsciously.

65
00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:01.639
We all have experience in this.
We all know what it's like to be

66
00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:08.480
automatically tying up our shoelaces, which
is a rather complicated process when you actually

67
00:05:08.519 --> 00:05:12.199
think about it, but we practiced
it, and we got to the point

68
00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:15.199
where I don't have to think about
that. So I can be automatic,

69
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:18.639
and I can be that way completely
tuned in to what's going on, without

70
00:05:18.680 --> 00:05:23.079
having to worry about how I'm doing
it, whether I'm doing it right or

71
00:05:23.120 --> 00:05:28.759
wrong, what the consequences might be. I can stay present while I'm doing

72
00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.879
any activity if I had developed that
sense of certainty about it. I find

73
00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:38.240
that definition so accessible. Thank you
for that. Okay, so next,

74
00:05:36.839 --> 00:05:41.360
we can't not talk about this,
doctor Z right, we have to talk

75
00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:44.600
a little bit about the work that
you've been doing training the minds of US

76
00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:47.839
Military Academy at Cadets. Amazing.
I can't even imagine my brother in law

77
00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:54.040
is a colonel in the US Army
and I can't even imagine the kind of

78
00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:56.879
training that he's gone through. So
tell us a little bit about that.

79
00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:01.680
Okay. I am very privileged who
have been an employee for the Department of

80
00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:06.560
the Army for the last thirty years. And I'm speaking to your audience today

81
00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:11.839
not as a representative of the Army. Now, I'm not speaking on behalf

82
00:06:11.879 --> 00:06:16.399
of the Army. I'm simply speaking
on behalf of a civilian subject matter expert

83
00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:20.680
who's been lucky enough to work and
support the important work of the Army.

84
00:06:21.319 --> 00:06:27.160
And I have to say a last
working at West Point has been the honor

85
00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:30.519
of a lifetime. These are young
men and women who, instead of simply

86
00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:35.519
following the path of least resistance and
going for something that might be a heck

87
00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:41.040
of a lot of fun, they
are investing in a very demanding forty seven

88
00:06:41.079 --> 00:06:47.839
month cadet experience from which they will
earn a bachelor's degree and a commission as

89
00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:51.920
a second lieutenant in the Army.
So they have to be very good in

90
00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:57.480
the classroom to get that Bachelor of
Science degree. They've got to be very

91
00:06:57.600 --> 00:07:02.920
very fit physically. We have mandatory
physical fitness training, mandatory fitness testing,

92
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:09.360
all kinds of interesting mandatory courses,
boxing, grappling, survivals, swimming,

93
00:07:09.800 --> 00:07:15.240
you name it. And in addition, we have a full athletic program where

94
00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:20.839
these cadets compete on the NCAA Division
one stage. So it really is a

95
00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:27.160
different experience for these eighteen to twenty
two year old folks who are going to

96
00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:30.879
go on to serve for a minimum
of five years in the army. Many

97
00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:36.160
of them serve for twenty thirty years, raising coming up to some of the

98
00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:41.399
highest ranks in the army. Others
will leave after their five or their ten

99
00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:47.519
years and take on civilian leadership jobs
throughout the country. I got goosebumps a

100
00:07:47.560 --> 00:07:51.079
second that you started talking about it
being such a privileged role, and I

101
00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:55.959
really appreciate that you have that perspective
that you get to literally be part of

102
00:07:56.040 --> 00:07:58.959
all of these lives and help steward
them for it. It is phenomenal.

103
00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:03.680
But wait, there's more. You've
also worked with Olympic athletes and world class

104
00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:07.120
athletes to help them develop critical confidence
and position for peak performance, which is

105
00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:11.079
crazy. In my introduction I named
one of them. Can you give us

106
00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:16.759
maybe a couple examples there. Certainly, I was privileged to be a regular

107
00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:24.680
consultant to the NHL's Philadelphia Flyers for
about twelve seasons. These are very talented

108
00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:31.800
men who travel all over the country
playing an eighty game schedule, a very

109
00:08:31.839 --> 00:08:39.720
fast, very physical sport that requires
tremendous physical toughness, but it also requires

110
00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:46.279
tremendous mental toughness to try to be
at your peak that often, that regularly

111
00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:50.840
in the face of, you know, some hostile crowds, because, let's

112
00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:54.799
face it, ladies and gentlemen,
the enemy gets a vote. Yeah,

113
00:08:56.039 --> 00:09:01.000
this is important to realize. And
we think of the glamorous experience of a

114
00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:05.840
young man playing professional sports. No, it is a grind, it is

115
00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:13.240
difficult, It involves all kinds of
challenges. But simply to inform, maybe

116
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:18.519
inspire a little bit, but to
educate some of these fellas in how to

117
00:09:18.679 --> 00:09:24.720
get the best out of themselves that
last fifteen percent of their performance, which

118
00:09:26.120 --> 00:09:30.720
at the world class level is the
difference between first place and tenth place.

119
00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:37.279
This has been my work with so
many elite performers over the decades. M.

120
00:09:37.799 --> 00:09:41.360
Yeah, you know it's so interesting
when I first, well, first,

121
00:09:41.399 --> 00:09:43.960
let me back in and say I
feel very privileged to get do the

122
00:09:43.960 --> 00:09:46.000
work that I do, to be
able to host the show. Now for

123
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:50.679
seven years, I have met some
amazing minds like yours, and I'm I

124
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:54.879
am better at buy that experience,
right, I learned from that experience,

125
00:09:54.919 --> 00:09:56.799
and so so many of the things
that you said in your book, they

126
00:09:56.799 --> 00:09:58.919
were they were novel and new to
me, and at first I was I,

127
00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:01.759
oh, wait a minute, this
is a book. This guy's a

128
00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:03.519
military guy. Oh, this guy's
a sports guy. But of course,

129
00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:09.080
immediately within the first few pages,
I realized this is applicable everywhere in life,

130
00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:11.320
right, and why I wanted to
have you on the show. And

131
00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:15.559
so it's just the profundity of it
for me, is is pretty pretty intense.

132
00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:20.679
So you talked about what confidence is. I wonder I didn't ask you

133
00:10:20.720 --> 00:10:22.799
to think about this, but it
might be interesting since you do in the

134
00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:26.840
book, could you say a little
bit about what it isn't Confidence is not

135
00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:33.600
outspoken arrogance in the book. Yeah, that is something that I think we

136
00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:39.039
have a little trouble with in this
world. The idea, the perhaps stereotype

137
00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:45.679
of the confident individual is someone who
is loud and brash and calls attention to

138
00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:50.440
him or herself. And that's not
all that socially appealing for most of us.

139
00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:54.840
But the fact of the matter is
that confidence, as I described,

140
00:10:54.960 --> 00:11:00.240
is this sense of certainty. It's
an internal thing. It has enough to

141
00:11:00.279 --> 00:11:03.759
do with how loud or how quiet
you might choose to be. So I

142
00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:09.039
tell all of my clients and students, and I will tell us share this

143
00:11:09.159 --> 00:11:16.080
with all your listeners. If you
happen to be a naturally somewhat introverted,

144
00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:24.600
somewhat private, somewhat quiet individual,
you can achieve tremendous confidence because it's what

145
00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:30.679
you have on the inside. It's
you can be a very polite and very

146
00:11:30.919 --> 00:11:37.120
respectful, modest individual on the outside, okay, but you can have a

147
00:11:37.159 --> 00:11:43.279
tremendous sense of power about yourself on
the inside. One of my favorite stories,

148
00:11:43.279 --> 00:11:46.919
and I should tell this because it's
winter Olympic time right, thank you,

149
00:11:46.440 --> 00:11:52.879
was working with members of our US
bobsled team in preparation for the two

150
00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:58.559
thousand and two Olympic Games in Salt
Lake City now twenty years ago, and

151
00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:05.960
one of the members of that team, a young lady who won the gold

152
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:11.639
medal in women's bob sled in that
Olympic Games was about the quietest and you

153
00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:18.600
know, shy young lady. But
when she stepped out of the sled having

154
00:12:18.679 --> 00:12:24.799
just won the Olympic Games with the
crowd going wild and the flags raving,

155
00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:31.559
and along comes the commentator from CBS
Sports and shoves the microphone and young Jill

156
00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:35.639
Bachan's face and says, well,
you know, you weren't the medal favorite

157
00:12:35.799 --> 00:12:39.159
and you weren't really supposed to be
or how did you do this? How

158
00:12:39.159 --> 00:12:45.240
did you accomplish this? Jill Backen, in her quiet, modest, respectful

159
00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:48.120
way, just said, well,
we had confidence and that's what we had

160
00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:52.360
to go with. You said that
in your book is beautiful. Yeah,

161
00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:54.480
and that's another reason why I so
badly wanted to have you on the show,

162
00:12:54.480 --> 00:13:00.240
because I, as I mentioned to
your your your publicist, in the

163
00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:03.679
work that I do inside companies with
leaders, there isn't anybody that doesn't suffer

164
00:13:03.720 --> 00:13:05.799
from confidence, right. There's it's
just it's it's like almost a crisis.

165
00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:09.960
And sometimes I think it's women suffer
more than men, but it's not.

166
00:13:09.039 --> 00:13:13.159
That's not really what I found.
And so it's so so important what we're

167
00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:18.120
talking about here, and it's this
notion of of of you also talk about

168
00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:20.000
protecting it later in the book as
well, which I think is just really

169
00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:26.399
powerful. So there's so much we
could talk about here. But before I

170
00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:28.360
go on, you know, to
go, We'll take a quick break here

171
00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.480
in just a second. Before we
do that, though, doctor C.

172
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:35.080
You know, why did you write
this book? This is a lot of

173
00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:37.799
work. Yeah, this was a
lot of work. But I had to

174
00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:41.440
write the book because of the number
of people who would come into my office

175
00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:45.519
and say, Gosh, I just
don't seem to have any confidence in myself

176
00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:50.279
anymore. I used to be.
I used to feel pretty good about what

177
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:54.320
I could do and how well I
could perform, but it seems to have

178
00:13:54.360 --> 00:13:56.799
evaporated. And that was a theme
that kept coming up and kept coming up,

179
00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:01.559
and kept coming up and kept coming
up. So I figured I'd put

180
00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:05.639
everything I knew about it into between
two covers, and so here's the book.

181
00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:09.399
One of the other things I really
appreciate that you say in your book,

182
00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:13.159
which we have to say on air
here, is that confidence can be

183
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:16.960
developed, it can be learned.
It's not something you're either issued with or

184
00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:20.600
don't get right. That's so important
that listeners and viewers hear that, Yeah,

185
00:14:20.679 --> 00:14:24.440
that is exactly okay, And again
the young lady. I was just

186
00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:28.399
referring to Jill Bachen the Bob Slater
as a perfect example. Okay. Jill

187
00:14:28.440 --> 00:14:31.960
Bachen looked me in the eye in
December of two thousand and said, I

188
00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:37.480
could use a lot more confidence,
doctor Zinser. And then fourteen months later

189
00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:41.240
she's jumping out of the sled having
just one a gold medal in the Olympics,

190
00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:45.120
and when asked, how'd you do
it, she said, well,

191
00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:50.639
we had confidence, So I guess
she grew some in those intervening fourteen months.

192
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.039
That's an important lesson for people.
I don't care how much you do

193
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.559
have or how much you don't have. I don't care what aspect of your

194
00:14:58.600 --> 00:15:03.559
life. Trying to get some in
you can grow more, build more,

195
00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:09.360
cultivate more. It is a skill
that you cultivate and build, just like

196
00:15:09.559 --> 00:15:13.120
your ability to hit a backhand,
or your ability to do push ups,

197
00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:18.200
or your ability to run, or
your ability to understand some of the dynamics

198
00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:22.480
of the periodic table of the elements. It's a learnable, practicable skill.

199
00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:28.080
Great way to send us into the
break, doctor z I'm your host police

200
00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:31.960
Cortez. Who're on the year of
a doctor Natesensor. He's the author of

201
00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:35.879
The Competent Mind, A battle tested
guy to unshakable performance. We've been talking

202
00:15:35.879 --> 00:15:37.480
a bit about some of his work
and why he got into it and how

203
00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:39.720
he does it. After the wreak, we're going to talk more about some

204
00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:43.039
of his methodology to help growth that
confidence. Stay with us, We'll be

205
00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:48.799
right back. Doctor Release Cortez is
a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose

206
00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:56.120
and inspirational speaker and author. She
helps companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders

207
00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:03.080
and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning
infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance,

208
00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:07.840
and commitment within the workforce. To
learn more or to invite a Lease to

209
00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:11.320
speak to your organization, please visit
her at a Lease Cortez dot com.

210
00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:22.519
Let's talk about how to get your
employees working on purpose. This is working

211
00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:27.000
on Purpose with doctor Release Cortez.
To reach our program today or open a

212
00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:33.759
conversation with Elise, send an email
to Elise ali Se at Elise Cortez dot

213
00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:41.360
com. Now back to working on
Purpose. Thanks for saying with us,

214
00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:44.159
and welcome back to the program.
Before we talk again with doctor Z.

215
00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:45.960
I do want to invite you to
check out my book. It's called Purpose

216
00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:49.639
Ignited, How Inspiring Leaders Ignite passion
and elevated Cause. It's on Amazon.

217
00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:55.000
I wrote it to awaken readers to
their passionate purpose and help transform them into

218
00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:57.919
inspirational leaders who enliven the workplace and
elevate the contribution of business to all its

219
00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:02.120
stakeholders. So there's something there for
everyone, and I do use the content

220
00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:04.799
as a basis for my vitally Inspired
Leadership program and to Grab your Guster program.

221
00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:07.759
So I hope you check it out
if you're just during the program today.

222
00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:11.480
My guest is doctor Nate Tinser.
He's the director of Performance Psychology program

223
00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:15.440
at the United States Military Academy at
West Point. He is also the author

224
00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:19.680
of The Confident Mind, a battle
Tested Guide to Unshakable Performance. I'm your

225
00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:23.559
host, Doctor Elie's Cortez. So
now let's peel back some of this onion,

226
00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:29.160
shall we. Let's do that.
Let's do it. Let's cook all

227
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:32.920
right, So first I want I
want to talk about this really interesting perspective

228
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:36.559
that I think that if we have
to talk about as a foundation. So

229
00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:41.200
you say, the truth is this
confidence has relatively little to do with what

230
00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:45.000
actually happens to you and pretty much
everything to do with how you think about

231
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:47.920
what happens to you. And then
you go on to orient us to the

232
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:51.759
idea of confidence like a bank account, which is brilliant. So let's start

233
00:17:51.759 --> 00:17:59.960
with that perspective if we can.
Certainly, there are innumerable stories of individ

234
00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:04.519
viduals who had a lot of good
experiences, a lot of success along the

235
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:11.119
path of their lives, yet they
still felt incomplete, they still felt insecure.

236
00:18:11.799 --> 00:18:18.079
In the words of one gentleman who
went on to enter the NFL's Hall

237
00:18:18.119 --> 00:18:26.599
of Fame, I thought I sucked. Despite having a remarkable backlog of success,

238
00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:30.920
having been drafted high, playing starting
in the NFL, leading the league

239
00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:37.519
in the vital statistical category, making
a rather nice salary, his successes somehow

240
00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:45.400
didn't inform his feelings, and the
reason being because when he thought about himself,

241
00:18:45.319 --> 00:18:51.920
his memories flashed back to some of
the plays where he was held back,

242
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:56.680
some of the plays where he missed
an assignment, the relatively few episodes

243
00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:06.119
of mistakes, failure, and set
back. Conversely, you can come across

244
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:15.240
some people who have had a lot
of setbacks they have experienced relatively little success

245
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:18.519
in the course of their lives.
Yet they are very good at thinking about,

246
00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:26.079
remembering, hanging on to lingering upon
the memories of their relatively few successes,

247
00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:32.599
and hence they feel powerful in the
moment, and they go into their

248
00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:38.400
work and their lives with a great
deal of enthusiasm. So it does not

249
00:19:38.519 --> 00:19:42.960
matter what happened to you. One
of the stories in my book is of

250
00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:48.039
a tragedy that occurred in the early
days of the Iraq War in April of

251
00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:52.839
two thousand and three, when a
young man that I had counseled at West

252
00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:59.599
Point, captain of ar lacrosse team, now retired Captain John Fernandez, his

253
00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:06.079
platoon moving forward towards Baghdad in the
early days of the Iraq War, suffered

254
00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:10.960
from a friendly fire incident. A
US plane, an Air Force plane,

255
00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:17.799
mistakenly dropped a bomb in the wrong
place, and that bomb took off young

256
00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:22.759
Lieutenant John Fernandez's legs. And this
was a vigorous, physical young man.

257
00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:27.200
But he woke up in the hospital
and he got the news that two of

258
00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:32.160
his soldiers had died in that attack, and he looks down at his legs

259
00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:37.599
or what used to be his legs
and says, I will never feel sorry

260
00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:41.960
for myself. I'm going to have
a great life. I'm going to have

261
00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:45.680
a great life. Here is a
man who just suffered a considerable tragedy,

262
00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:52.359
yet he reacted to it with a
sense of optimism and purpose. And if

263
00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.920
you were to meet him and he
was wearing long pants, you would never

264
00:20:56.000 --> 00:21:02.079
know that he's walking on two prosthetic
legs. It's those kinds of stories that

265
00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:07.680
teach us it's really not about the
events in our lives, it's the perspective

266
00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:11.680
we take on them. It is
the classic stoic philosophy that has meaning for

267
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:18.160
everybody in this world today. That
sets us up perfectly to start kind of

268
00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:19.960
peeling back down onion. We were
talking about the layers. So one of

269
00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:23.519
the things that you talk about here
at which I really appreciate the waste that

270
00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:26.319
the whole book up, but you
talked to us about the importance ability and

271
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:30.319
the effective mental filter to capture those
viable past deposits. So you're talking about

272
00:21:30.359 --> 00:21:33.759
these events that occurred in the past. So I think that if you could

273
00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:38.519
just say a bit more about how
we can you know, construct, consider

274
00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:44.279
and develop that that filter for those
past events. To handle those past events.

275
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:48.000
You know, we all have the
ability to pull certain memories back from

276
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:56.640
our storehouse of experience. I'm simply
asking people to be somewhat selective and somewhat

277
00:21:56.799 --> 00:22:03.240
careful about the memories that they bring
into their consciousness time and time again.

278
00:22:04.039 --> 00:22:11.200
I urge people to think about your
most fulfilling moment in your work, in

279
00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:18.279
your sport, in your relationships.
What are the moments that stand out as

280
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:22.559
being very fulfilling and memorable. Let's
put a list of those together. I

281
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:27.319
call it the top ten for obvious
reasons, Let's list those top ten memories.

282
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:33.480
Let's post that list somewhere where we
will see it and be reminded of

283
00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:37.680
the things that we can take pride
in, the things that give, indeed

284
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:44.000
give our lives. Meaning, those
ten memories to me are like ten big

285
00:22:44.039 --> 00:22:48.119
fat checks that have been written out
to you, which you walk down to

286
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:52.400
your local bank with and ask the
teller, may I please open an account?

287
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:59.119
Here's my deposits, And now you
create a storehouse, a repository of

288
00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:04.880
men memories that give you a sense
of purpose and enthusiasm and optimism. That's

289
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:11.519
how we start this process to create
a mental bank account. You know you're

290
00:23:11.559 --> 00:23:15.200
reminded me just now in this moment, doctors of a great movie and the

291
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:18.440
listeners of viewers can connect this Cinderella
man Russell Krowts going in for the big

292
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:22.720
fight. What is his coach and
trainer do? He strolls into the room

293
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.559
and he starts recounting all these great
past successes. Who was it, by

294
00:23:26.599 --> 00:23:30.440
the way that beats so and so? Oh, that was me? Right,

295
00:23:30.599 --> 00:23:33.880
That's what you're talking about. That's
what I'm talking about. And if

296
00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:37.000
we give it a moment's thought,
every one of us can come up with

297
00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:42.400
that top ten list. And all
that is required is the will. You

298
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:48.559
have the capacity That free will is
built into us as human beings, and

299
00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:52.920
all you need is a little bit
of desire to look for the best in

300
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:59.240
yourself. We construct that initial top
ten list, and then we take that

301
00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:04.440
same process, but we put it
into use day by day. We made

302
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:10.279
yeah, daily deposits into that mental
bank account. At the end of the

303
00:24:10.359 --> 00:24:15.079
day, it can be as you
leave the office, as before you retire

304
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:21.000
for the evening, take out a
pencil and take out a notebook and write

305
00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:26.880
down where did you put some quality
effort in today? Where did you resist

306
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:30.079
procrastination? What did you get done
that was maybe a pain in the rear,

307
00:24:30.359 --> 00:24:33.440
but you got it done because they
knew you had to get it done.

308
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:37.680
You should acknowledge that you should record
that little episode of effort and then

309
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.200
record an episode of some kind of
success. What did you get right?

310
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:44.400
It doesn't have to be a big
thing, but what did you get right?

311
00:24:44.599 --> 00:24:47.839
What is the point that you made
in the conversation with your boss or

312
00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:51.920
with your teammate. What is the
drill that you performed well in in your

313
00:24:51.960 --> 00:24:56.079
sports team practice? What little thing
did you get right? Scribble that down

314
00:24:56.279 --> 00:25:03.400
and then think about maybe today,
yesterday, the day before. What does

315
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:07.119
it seem like you're getting a little
bit better with Where are you making progress?

316
00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:11.880
So you record an episode of effort, an episode of success, an

317
00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:17.599
episode of progress. That's your daily
esp Those are the ways you make daily

318
00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:22.079
deposits into your bank account. And
now you are building up a storehouse of

319
00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:26.079
memories that can make you more certain
about yourself in your next performance moment.

320
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:30.319
Gorgeous, gorgeous, I want to
throw something up for our listeners and viewers

321
00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:33.319
as well to build on that.
In the world of just the world of

322
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:37.920
corporate work. So I there's I
work with several leaders who then do what

323
00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:41.880
they'd call a brag session, so
they take their successes and they socialize them

324
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:45.880
with their boss, so their boss
knows the kind of work that they're doing,

325
00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:48.960
what they're proud of, and then
the boss has stuff to be able

326
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:52.519
to share back up into the three
origination to help develop their careers. So

327
00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:56.599
I love your It's what did you
call that? The ESPA Daily ESP Daily

328
00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:02.400
ESP listeners and viewers hit it.
So we cover the past, were we

329
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:03.519
just covered the present? You know, we got to go next and that

330
00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:10.359
is the future. So I really
appreciate that you talk about the importance of

331
00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:15.000
spending fifteen minutes a day, just
fifteen a day, envisioning your ideal future.

332
00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:21.799
Absolutely, and I gotta say,
doctor c your use of the word

333
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:26.799
visioneering. I love. Okay,
we in a way, we time traveled

334
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:32.759
into the future all the time,
but unfortunately a lot of our time travels

335
00:26:33.160 --> 00:26:37.920
take us to destinations that we really
don't want to go. Yeah, we

336
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:45.440
have the capability to envision, to
imagine, to create scenes, still shots,

337
00:26:45.720 --> 00:26:49.119
short video clips of the experiences that
we would really like to have.

338
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:52.680
And I'll tell you, ladies and
gents, it's fun to do that.

339
00:26:55.200 --> 00:27:00.440
You can be the director of a
great short movie in which you are making

340
00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:06.599
progress towards a promotion in which you
are gaining skill in a sport, or

341
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:11.319
a physical activity in which you are
making progress in the course of study.

342
00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:15.319
For the law student, the medical
student, the business student, it's very

343
00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:22.200
desirable to actually imagine yourself doing the
things that you need to do tomorrow and

344
00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:27.799
next week, and also imagine the
outcome that you want. And interestingly enough,

345
00:27:29.880 --> 00:27:36.880
your nervous system when you carefully envision
with a lot of detail, full

346
00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:42.000
color, surround sound, the smells, the tastes, the sense of movement.

347
00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:49.000
When you envision that, your nervous
system responds to those pictures very much

348
00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:55.799
the same way the nervous system responds
to actual repetitions of those actions. In

349
00:27:55.839 --> 00:28:00.799
a way, your nervous system doesn't
know the difference between what you vividly experience

350
00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:06.319
in your imagination and what you actually
experience in the so called real world.

351
00:28:06.839 --> 00:28:11.640
And that is why athletes especially have
made use of this to get themselves extra

352
00:28:11.720 --> 00:28:17.279
repetitions of a particular technique or skilled
that they're trying to build, and they

353
00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:23.799
envision winning that final set at the
Australian Open or the US Open, they

354
00:28:23.920 --> 00:28:30.359
envision that two minute drive that scores
the touchdown in the Super Bowl. You

355
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:36.839
can bet that every member on the
Los Angeles Rams and the Cincinnati Bengals preparing

356
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:41.039
for the upcoming Super Bowl have received
a detailed scouting report and know what they're

357
00:28:41.079 --> 00:28:47.480
going to be looking at, and
they are very disciplined about seeing carefully in

358
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:56.119
their imagination exactly how they want their
execution in certain situations to be. I

359
00:28:56.200 --> 00:29:00.720
found that really really compelling doctors in
your book. I'd already already do visualizations

360
00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:04.319
on a daily basis, but I
wasn't doing them nearly to the level that

361
00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:07.640
you describe in your book, with
all the senses and really playing it out

362
00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:11.640
and just being in that moment.
So I started doing it. Thank you

363
00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:15.400
very much for that gift. Well, let's see what happens for me.

364
00:29:17.480 --> 00:29:21.119
Okay, let's okay, all right
now. The next thing I want to

365
00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:23.119
have before we going on our last
our last break here is you talk about

366
00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:27.559
the importance to constantly protect our confidence, and you mentioned a few ways we

367
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:30.680
can do that. Let's share those
with our listening and viewers. Absolutely,

368
00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:37.119
let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, confidence is fragile. It doesn't last

369
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:41.960
forever. This mental bank account of
yours is constantly under attack from the fact

370
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:45.039
that you, as a human being, are imperfect prone to error, that

371
00:29:45.079 --> 00:29:51.200
you are surrounded by other human beings
who are also imperfect and prone to error.

372
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:56.359
So there are going to be setbacks, mistakes, simple human imperfection.

373
00:29:57.240 --> 00:30:03.680
Those experiences, if you allow them, can sort of suck away your bank

374
00:30:03.720 --> 00:30:07.920
account like a thief. So we
have to protect them. So I offer

375
00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:15.680
three ways of looking at those inevitable
setbacks and episodes of imperfection so that you

376
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:22.559
don't get caught in the oh,
here I go again, or oh my

377
00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:27.279
whole day is going down the drain, or maybe I'm not good enough for

378
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:32.759
this job or this experience. Okay, here they go. First, you

379
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:36.799
got to look at those mistakes and
those setbacks as temporary. Yes they happen,

380
00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:41.200
Yeah they happen, but they only
happen that one time, or that

381
00:30:41.279 --> 00:30:44.720
two times, or those three times. They're temporary as opposed to oh,

382
00:30:44.759 --> 00:30:47.400
they're going to keep happening over and
over and over again. You can put

383
00:30:47.480 --> 00:30:52.839
them in that time box. They're
temporary. Second point, you can treat

384
00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:57.519
them as limited in terms of where
they occurred. Yeah it happened, but

385
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:04.960
it happened there in that place.
My poor drive happened on that whole of

386
00:31:06.119 --> 00:31:11.319
that course, and the fact that
that drive was poor has nothing to do

387
00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:14.799
with my ability to drive the ball
well on other holes, Nor does it

388
00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:18.079
have anything to do with my ability
to swing my short irons, my long

389
00:31:18.119 --> 00:31:22.759
irons, my chips and my putts
and do all that very well. The

390
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:29.240
mistake is limited in where it happened. Third, and I think for a

391
00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:32.599
lot of folks this may be the
toughest but most important one of all.

392
00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:37.720
Those mistakes are not representative of who
you are, what you can do,

393
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:42.720
what kind of person you are.
They are They don't tell the whole truth.

394
00:31:44.839 --> 00:31:49.519
We have a weird tendency in our
world to overidentify with our mistakes and

395
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:55.799
our setbacks, as opposed to saying, yeah, it happened, but that

396
00:31:55.920 --> 00:32:00.240
wasn't really me. I have a
different sense of myself. Mistake doesn't tell

397
00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:04.920
the truth. I'm not going to
identify with it. I could even say,

398
00:32:05.039 --> 00:32:07.599
yeah, well that happened, but
boy's sort of a weird fluke,

399
00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:12.720
and the truth about me is much
different. Those are three ways of protecting

400
00:32:12.759 --> 00:32:16.279
your confidence. No, doctor's inswer. That's just beautiful, so so accessible

401
00:32:16.279 --> 00:32:20.720
too. Let's take our last break. I'm your host, doctor Elias Cortez.

402
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:22.039
We've been on the ara, doctor
nats in, Sir. He's the

403
00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:28.319
author of The Confident Mind, a
battle tested guide to unshakable performance. We've

404
00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:30.359
been talking a bit about some of
his techniques that he uses with some of

405
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:32.799
the people, all of you,
that he works with. After the wake,

406
00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:36.440
we're going to learn just a few
more and figure out how you can

407
00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:38.599
actually use this to distinguish yourself in
the world. Stay with us, We'll

408
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:44.920
be right back. Doctor Release Cortez
is a management consultant specializing in meaning and

409
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:50.880
purpose and inspirational speaker and author.
She helps companies visioneer for greater purpose among

410
00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:58.680
stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and
meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance,

411
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:02.039
and commitment with in the workforce.
To learn more or to invite a

412
00:33:02.119 --> 00:33:07.240
lease to speak to your organization,
please visit her at a lease Cortez dot

413
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:17.559
com. Let's talk about how to
get your employees working on purpose. This

414
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:22.480
is working on purpose with doctor Release
Cortez to reach our program today or open

415
00:33:22.519 --> 00:33:30.359
a conversation with Elise send an email
to a lease alis at Eleise Cortez dot

416
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:36.920
com. Now back to working on
purpose. Thanks for staying well us and

417
00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:38.400
welcome back to working on Purpose.
One of the bit of news that I

418
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:43.559
have to share is a few months
ago that the anthology that I've been curating

419
00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:46.640
came to be released. It's a
collection of twenty five stories from women across

420
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:51.319
the globe who share their intimate details
of finding their purpose, what they're doing

421
00:33:51.319 --> 00:33:53.799
on a server from it. It's
called Cassily Striving in Why, an anthology

422
00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:59.039
of women who perseverram mightily to live
their purpose. And now I'm out scouting

423
00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:02.319
for men across the globe who want
to share how they're living from their purpose

424
00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:06.200
and want to show their stores.
If you know someone or you have one,

425
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:09.400
please contact me at least at least
Corte dot com if you're just joining

426
00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:13.559
us. My guest is doctor NIEP. Sinsor. He's the director of Performance,

427
00:34:13.719 --> 00:34:16.960
a psychology program at the United States
Military Academy at West Point. He

428
00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:22.519
also has been the sports psychology mentor
for numerous elite athletes, including two times

429
00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:27.760
Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning and the
NHL's Philadelphia Flyers, as well as many

430
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:30.880
Olympians and nc Double A champions.
For this last bit, we're going to

431
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:34.480
talk a bit a bit more about
a few other techniques and tools that you

432
00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:37.559
can use, and also talk about
really how you can use this to distinguish

433
00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:40.159
yourself. So we have to start
there, doctor Censor. I have to

434
00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:44.199
read a passage that you have in
your book toward the end that I think

435
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:47.320
is so compelling, And now I
really see how how you open the show

436
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:52.480
fits this beautifully. So here goes
you say, the belief above all else,

437
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:55.679
play to win and the other.
Okay, the beliefs discussed previously are

438
00:34:55.719 --> 00:35:00.719
indeed different from what your socialization may
have you, which, as we said

439
00:35:00.760 --> 00:35:07.000
before, maybe that confidence is arrogance
and therefore to be avoided. But let's

440
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:12.360
remember that the purpose of socialization is
to encourage conformity and the continued existence of

441
00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:15.360
the prevailing social order. Its purpose
is not to help you discover the full

442
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:19.719
extent of your talents and abilities.
If you're a little hung up on thinking

443
00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:23.280
differently from the crowd, the very
thing that socialization exists to support, you're

444
00:35:23.320 --> 00:35:27.960
likely to remain in that crowd,
you'll be normal, but is that what

445
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:35.360
you really want? Thank you for
that wonderful leading. I couldn't. I

446
00:35:35.400 --> 00:35:42.639
could not include that in the book. In my early training in sports psychology,

447
00:35:43.119 --> 00:35:46.320
literally the very first course that I
took with my mentor, doctor Barbara

448
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:51.519
Tella at the University of Virginia,
he opened up and said, sports psychology

449
00:35:51.639 --> 00:35:57.440
is about resisting socialization sport. You
know, the idea of the psychology of

450
00:35:57.480 --> 00:36:02.800
being a great performer really evolves identifying
all the things that you might have been

451
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:07.320
told about how to be a good
person, how to be a right person

452
00:36:07.039 --> 00:36:13.880
that may be counterproductive to the expression
of your talent, to the fulfillment of

453
00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:22.440
your potential, to really finding and
delivering on your purpose in life. Certainly,

454
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:27.840
we live in a social world and
we observe social norms, but beyond

455
00:36:27.960 --> 00:36:35.000
doing so just at a minimal level
to ensure survival and courtesy. Then a

456
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:44.199
lot of what we've learned about performance, confidence, thinking, training actually goes

457
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:49.159
contrary to what really works in the
real world and what great performers actually do.

458
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:52.519
You know, you've probably heard a
coach, or maybe you were even

459
00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:58.679
told yourself that the team that makes
the fewest mistakes in the game wins.

460
00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:05.280
Okay, yeah, we've all heard
that, and on the surface, it

461
00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:08.119
makes a lot of sense. Certainly, if you make a lot of mistakes,

462
00:37:08.119 --> 00:37:13.199
you're likely to lose. But when
you think about that's what that statement

463
00:37:13.239 --> 00:37:16.079
actually does. The team that makes
the fewest mistakes is going to win.

464
00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:19.880
You're gonna go out there and let's
face it, I don't care who you

465
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:23.880
are. You know, Serena Williams, Tom Brady, Bill Gates, You're

466
00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:30.599
going to have a few below average
days, and even if you're Serena Williams,

467
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:35.119
you're going to have a few below
average games. So if your belief

468
00:37:35.320 --> 00:37:38.960
is that the person who makes the
fewest mistakes wins and then you have one

469
00:37:39.079 --> 00:37:45.599
of those inevitable mistakes, you have
just doomed yourself to a sense of failure.

470
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:52.599
So how about embracing the notion let's
go all out to win. It's

471
00:37:52.639 --> 00:38:02.079
the team that plays great between their
inevitable at the d of mistakes and setbacks,

472
00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:07.360
that's the team that's going to win. It's not the team that makes

473
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:12.400
the fewest mistakes. It's the team
that plays great between the inevitable mistakes.

474
00:38:12.880 --> 00:38:17.480
It's changing some of those beliefs that
I think are really important to help our

475
00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:22.480
potential actually become expressed in this world. Oh, you know, that's just

476
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:25.199
gorgeous for me. In fact,
you set you sets up so beautifully because

477
00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:29.639
a lot of the work that I
do doctors insert with leaders and organizations is

478
00:38:29.639 --> 00:38:32.559
we have to unpack all those beliefs
that have informed their choices, their decisions,

479
00:38:32.559 --> 00:38:37.639
and how they think of themselves in
order to replace them with more ones

480
00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:42.239
that will actually allow them to be
able to live their best and serve from

481
00:38:42.239 --> 00:38:45.039
their purpose. So the way that
you set that up for that for us

482
00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:49.360
is just gorgeous, so so so
important, And I couldn't help but read

483
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:55.039
that that passage. We could go
on and on, but I refer to

484
00:38:55.079 --> 00:39:02.840
them as the seven deadly sins of
socialization. And and there's some you know,

485
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:08.119
seven empowering beliefs. You know,
instead of a ball above all else,

486
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:13.320
be careful, don't mess up.
It's no play to win, play

487
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:17.159
to win, play to win,
instead of always be constantly searching for the

488
00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:22.079
next little tiny bit of information.
How about having faith in a couple of

489
00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:29.920
things that you do really really well, instead of, you know, the

490
00:39:30.039 --> 00:39:34.960
idea that you have to put certain
people up on a pedestal. Well,

491
00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:39.880
how about understanding that every human is
vulnerable, every human is fallible, and

492
00:39:39.960 --> 00:39:45.480
even the people that you might have
to compete against too seem bulletproof. Hey,

493
00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:49.800
they're really just like you. They
come from a big town like you,

494
00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:52.800
or a small town like you.
They like the game, they like

495
00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:55.599
the action, and they like to
win, and so it's very important to

496
00:39:55.679 --> 00:40:01.239
keep them in their most human,
most beat up, pull most vulnerable perspective.

497
00:40:04.079 --> 00:40:07.519
I'll offer this somewhat offbeat advice to
all your listeners. If you're the

498
00:40:07.599 --> 00:40:14.639
least bit intimidated by a competitor,
by an opponent, or a potential competitor,

499
00:40:14.760 --> 00:40:19.239
a potential opponent, go ahead and
use your imagination in an interesting way.

500
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:23.800
What does that person look like in
the very early morning when they crawl

501
00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:28.760
out of bed and their eyes are
all crusty, and they sort of wander

502
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:32.679
in the bathroom and pick up the
toothbrush and start brushing their teeth peer or

503
00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:37.400
peering into the mirror, and the
toothpaste is running down their chin. I

504
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:40.159
don't know anybody who looks really impressive
that way. That's so true. Well,

505
00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:45.400
a great image. Thank you for
that. All right, So,

506
00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:49.440
since we're going to give a couple
more techniques and tools here before we close

507
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:52.840
here. So you talk about playing
a confident game using the pre shot routine,

508
00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:59.199
let's hear more about that. Absolutely, the idea before you perform is

509
00:40:59.239 --> 00:41:02.159
to find us sense of comfort,
to find a sense of ease with yourself.

510
00:41:02.679 --> 00:41:07.920
And the routine that I advise a
sort of a template that everybody can

511
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:14.840
customize and work in their own level. Is consists of three things. You

512
00:41:14.960 --> 00:41:19.039
got to bring up a little bit
of your conviction. You've you've been storing

513
00:41:19.159 --> 00:41:23.360
up a lot of these memories through
your daily esp et cetera, et cetera.

514
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:30.400
You've been envisioning good things about yourself. So how about as you are

515
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:36.519
stepping into that room to take the
final exam in your college course, or

516
00:41:36.559 --> 00:41:42.119
you're stepping onto the court to play
that tennis match, how about you just

517
00:41:42.400 --> 00:41:47.480
taking a second and queuing up some
of those powerful memories and having a phrase

518
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:52.320
in your back pocket that you've practiced, like, this is my time.

519
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:55.679
Here we go, Let's see how
great I can be at this moment.

520
00:41:57.480 --> 00:42:01.800
And then you take a couple of
breaths, and then you put your eyes

521
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:08.159
where they need to be on the
ball, on the paper on your opponent.

522
00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:15.320
You allow yourself to become sort of
fascinated by the most important thing in

523
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:21.679
the competitive performance arena. For the
surgeon, it's the anatomy that he or

524
00:42:21.719 --> 00:42:24.480
she is seeing right in front of
him. For the tennis player, it's

525
00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:29.480
the ball as it moves. For
the wrestler, it's the opponent's body.

526
00:42:30.159 --> 00:42:34.360
For the speaker, it's the look
in the audience, the way they are

527
00:42:34.679 --> 00:42:39.159
connected to him or her. Queue
up your confidence, breathe into your body,

528
00:42:39.880 --> 00:42:45.639
attach your awareness to what matters.
And that's a little process that anybody

529
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:50.719
can use and customize throughout a performance. Thank you for that. I will.

530
00:42:50.719 --> 00:42:52.400
I always like to be able to
give our listeners something they can immediately

531
00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:54.800
put it put to use, and
that's one of the many things that you've

532
00:42:54.840 --> 00:43:00.960
shared. But then there's also the
after action review. Ha. Yes,

533
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:05.239
this is something that a lot of
people miss out upon. Ladies and gentlemen.

534
00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:08.760
The game is not over when the
clock runs down or you know,

535
00:43:08.840 --> 00:43:14.719
the final bell rings. The test
is not over when you hand in the

536
00:43:14.800 --> 00:43:17.960
paper or close the program. You
know, for the online test that you've

537
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:25.320
been taking. The performance only ends
once you've learned everything there is to learn.

538
00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:30.519
From it. So looking at your
performance at the end of the day

539
00:43:30.920 --> 00:43:37.280
for all of us daily work day
nine to five white collar athletes, at

540
00:43:37.320 --> 00:43:42.079
the end of the tennis match,
at the end of the football game,

541
00:43:42.440 --> 00:43:46.159
you've got to take some time to
look back upon it and ask yourself a

542
00:43:46.199 --> 00:43:51.480
few questions. Where was I effective? Where was I ineffective? How was

543
00:43:51.519 --> 00:43:54.000
my state of mind? What things
threw me off my game? How did

544
00:43:54.039 --> 00:43:59.119
I get back on my game?
Those are all the what's what actually happened?

545
00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:02.960
And you've got to your own best
friend and your own harshest critic at

546
00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:08.360
this point in order to get out
what actually happened. That's the first part

547
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:12.880
of the AAAR. The second part
is to ask yourself a question, well,

548
00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:15.119
okay, so what does all that
mean. What are the lessons that

549
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:20.559
I can take from my performance?
What does it tell me about my strengths

550
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:24.400
and my weaknesses. I've got to
take those lessons. They can become very

551
00:44:24.440 --> 00:44:30.199
important. They can become new affirmation
statements for me. They can become new

552
00:44:30.199 --> 00:44:34.840
deposits into my mental bank account.
And then the third part is, Okay,

553
00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:39.280
now that I know what the lessons
are from what actually happened, what

554
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:43.000
am I going to do with it? What am I going to train?

555
00:44:43.480 --> 00:44:45.840
What am I going to practice?
What am I going to get a little

556
00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:51.400
bit better in anticipation of my next
performance opportunity. So in this way we

557
00:44:51.519 --> 00:44:55.320
extract all the possible value from each
day as we go forward in life,

558
00:44:55.639 --> 00:45:00.400
from each performance as we go forward, and in so doing we get to

559
00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:08.320
find the things that can build our
certainty in a constant, steady upward trajectory.

560
00:45:09.639 --> 00:45:13.840
Fantastic way to get to give us
a tool here to finish on here

561
00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:15.760
on doctor's answer. So I've just
two more questions. We were almost out

562
00:45:15.800 --> 00:45:19.840
of time, But I've been a
meeting and work researcher for a good twenty

563
00:45:19.880 --> 00:45:22.039
plus years, and so I'm always
interested in understanding. You opened it already

564
00:45:22.039 --> 00:45:25.480
in the show somewhat, but now
we've heard more about you. What are

565
00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:28.679
you? What do you find meaningful
in your work? What are you most

566
00:45:28.679 --> 00:45:30.960
proud of in the work that you've
gotten to do. I am most proud

567
00:45:31.039 --> 00:45:37.960
of the moments when a student,
be it a West Point kidet be it

568
00:45:37.159 --> 00:45:45.000
a professional athlete, be it a
fourteen year old kid who has an inkling

569
00:45:45.639 --> 00:45:50.639
about how great she'd like to be
in the game of golf when they suddenly

570
00:45:51.320 --> 00:45:55.880
shift their understanding and said, oh, that's pretty that's good stuff. Doc,

571
00:45:55.960 --> 00:46:00.119
I never thought about it that way. It's just seeing those little moments

572
00:46:00.159 --> 00:46:07.960
of illumination that is where I get
my meaning. My purpose is to create

573
00:46:08.559 --> 00:46:15.559
those moments of illumination for the people
I'm fortunate enough to work with. Gorgeous.

574
00:46:15.559 --> 00:46:21.480
That sounds fantastic. All right,
so we've gone through the whole show

575
00:46:21.519 --> 00:46:22.800
already. It's crazy, opast it
goes. You know that this show is

576
00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:25.599
listened to and watched by people all
over the world, and we're all about

577
00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:29.400
trying to create environments where people actually
want to come to work to their best.

578
00:46:29.679 --> 00:46:31.239
We create inspiration leaders who bring them
to their best, and we do

579
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:35.000
business betters in the world. What
would you like to leave your listeners with.

580
00:46:35.559 --> 00:46:40.719
I'd like your listeners to remember that
they have a choice about how they

581
00:46:40.719 --> 00:46:46.320
are going to think about themselves and
their lives. Nothing is written in stone,

582
00:46:46.480 --> 00:46:52.599
nothing is preordained. You have a
choice, and it's your responsibility to

583
00:46:52.719 --> 00:46:58.960
yourself to make a constructive, useful
choice. And if you're part of a

584
00:46:58.960 --> 00:47:04.000
team, part of an organization,
it's your responsibility to that team, to

585
00:47:04.079 --> 00:47:09.559
that organization to make those kinds of
choices. You have that capability of choosing

586
00:47:09.639 --> 00:47:15.559
built into you, take advantage of
that, use it. And I will

587
00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:20.679
finish with the quote that I actually
start the book with. A famous philosopher

588
00:47:20.719 --> 00:47:24.239
once said that the victorious warriors are
the ones who win first and then go

589
00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:29.800
to battle. The losing warriors are
those who go into battle and then hope

590
00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:31.760
to win. Ladies and gentlemen,
what kind of war do you want to

591
00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:36.719
be? Thank you so much for
this time, doctor Cortez. It's been

592
00:47:36.760 --> 00:47:39.519
a pleasure. I'm really grateful that
you crossed my path. Doctor's answer,

593
00:47:39.679 --> 00:47:43.800
I really I loved your book.
I devour my books cover to cover,

594
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:45.039
and you taught me so very much, and I wanted to pass it on

595
00:47:45.159 --> 00:47:47.880
to listeners and viewers across the world
to help them be able to realize their

596
00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:51.960
best and also live from their purpose. So thank you very much for being

597
00:47:51.960 --> 00:47:54.519
with me. Thank you indeed,
best wishes to all your listeners for a

598
00:47:54.559 --> 00:48:00.320
wonderful twenty twenty two. Indeed,
if you want to learn more abou doctor

599
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:02.440
Natesenser, his book or the work
he does, just start by going to

600
00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:07.719
Nate Zinser dot com. Let me
spell that for you. Nat e z

601
00:48:07.960 --> 00:48:13.199
I, n sser dot com,
natesincert dot com. Last week, if

602
00:48:13.239 --> 00:48:15.400
you missed the live show, you
can always catch it recorded podcast. We

603
00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:20.079
were on their doctor Alicia Hair.
She's the founder of Turnisoul and the author

604
00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:23.159
of a beautiful collection of books called
The Unfolding Path We Live and Lead in

605
00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:27.280
Our Times. Next week, we'll
be on the air with Lori Van talking

606
00:48:27.320 --> 00:48:30.840
about the real problem of burnout in
the workplace and how many employees in this

607
00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:34.440
period of the Great Resignation are looking
for companies to work for who will honor

608
00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:37.000
their well being. See you.
They remember that work is at least a

609
00:48:37.039 --> 00:48:42.280
third of our lives. So let's
work on purpose. We hope you've enjoyed

610
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:45.559
this week's program. Be sure to
tune in too. Working on Purpose featuring

611
00:48:45.559 --> 00:48:51.360
your host, doctor Elise Cortez each
week on the Voice America Empowerment Channel.

612
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:58.480
Together, we'll create a world where
business operates conscientiously, leadership inspires impassion,

613
00:48:58.599 --> 00:49:02.639
performance, and employees are fulfilled in
work that provides the meaning and purpose they

614
00:49:02.639 --> 00:49:07.320
crave. See you there, Let's
work on Purpose.