Can Choice and Courage Help You Live the Live You Want?

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on Purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to

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the Working on Purpose Show. Thanks
for tuning in again this week. I'm

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your host, Elise Cortez, joining
from Dallas, Texas, which is home

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base for me. This program is
all about helping people more meaningfully and productively

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connect with their work and equipping organizations
to do the same for their employees.

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So I bring on guests of a
particular perspective or experience that I think expands

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that conversation. I also draw on
my meeting and work research I've been doing

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over the last fifteen years, as
well as from my own consulting experience,

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including the work I do today at
Insigniam, which is a global management consulting

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firm. I'll get to the program
in just a moment, but let me

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thank my media partner and sponsor jobbing
dot Com. Jobbing dot com is the

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leading locally focused job board in the
nation. They are dedicated to helping employers

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find quality talent in their own backyard
and giving job seekers control over their search

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so they can find work close to
home. Great partnership. Thank you jobing

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dot Com. Last week, if
you missed the live show, you can

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always catch it via recorded podcast.
We were on the air with doctor Darren

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Martin, who is the culture architect
and an author and keynote speaker. We

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talked about the incredibly low rate of
twenty nine percent employee engagement in the average

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company in the United States, what
some companies are doing to encourage that dismal

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rate to make it even worse,
and what the winners are doing to drastically

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improve it. With us this week
is Diane maclay, who is a certified

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professional Whole person coach who helps midlife
professionals navigate career transitions through choice and courage

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to make meaningful change. She's also
the co author of Dreaming Big, Being

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Bold, Inspiring Stories from Trailblazer's Visionaries
and change Makers. We'll be talking about

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the key concept she coaches from and
her own journey from once her own dream

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job to what she does need to
help others find their own dream careers.

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Diane enjoyed just today from Portland,
Oregon, where I lived for several years.

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So I happen to live by careselor
through your experience, Diane, welcome

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to working on purpose. Thank you, Olisa. I appreciate the opportunity to

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be here. I'm super excited me
too. I really appreciate that our last

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conversation. I love our energy,
I love our synergy, and I want

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to give you over to my listeners. So let's jump in. Awesome,

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let's do it. Okay, So
some context to start here is always good.

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So I want to just help our
listeners understand. It's always interesting to

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hear people say why they do the
work that they do. So your story

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of being catapulted into change from a
career you loved to inventing something totally new,

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what's your story? Well, my
story is that I have had the

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opportunity and the blessing to reinvent into
a second dream career. As a kid,

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I wanted to be a park ranger. I had the opportunity to get

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a degree in recreation management in college
and then the next twenty two years of

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my life was nothing but a dream
where one job ended, there was always

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another exciting job out in the field
of recreation waiting for me. I did

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all the right things. I moved
into you know, I acquired responsibility,

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I acquired rank, I moved up
in promotions. I moved around the country

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and finally landed in the agency that
I felt like was my family and my

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home, and I moved into management. At that point, I was an

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awesome field operator. When I moved
into management, some things changed. The

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value systems that I was working with
as a field operator were different in management,

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and then as a new manager,
I made some mistakes, and those

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mistakes actually led me to kind of
a painful separation with my agency. At

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the time, it was a choice
that I made because I felt like the

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finally the parallel path of my personal
life and my professional life were now splitting

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into different directions fast Fullward, I
had the opportunity to work in a rebound

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job. Realized that was just a
paycheck, and then I realized that I

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had a deeper calling to help people, to be connected to people and use

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synergy and empathy to help people work
through similar situations. So I jumped into

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life coaching, writing and having the
opportunity to run my own business. And

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you know, you are incredibly articulate. I've really appreciated about you and frankly

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learned something from you in that way
too, Diane. So it's incredible.

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So all the more reason that I'm
interested if you can just say, why

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did you want to be a park
ranger? What was it about that field

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that drew you or that position?
You know, my dad worked in a

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fisheries division for the state of Michigan
for thirty years, so I think that

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partly led into my desire to be
to care for the outdoors and to care

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for the animals that might be in
it, and to connect people to it.

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My dad always said, you know, figure out what you love to

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do, and then figure out how
to get paid for it. Or conversely,

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he said, you know, don't
ever get paid to do what you

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love, because it'll turn into a
job and you'll hate And I learned that

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somewhere in the middle there was a
balance between the two. I had this

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magical belief in first grade that to
be a park ranger you had to be

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born inside a national park boundary and
know the wildflowers by the time you were

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five in Latin, and that wasn't
true. It really was just education and

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commitment and dedication and following through with
something that called me. So that's what

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I did. Brilliant, brilliant,
And I have to if you don't mind,

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I appreciate so much the authenticity of
how you connect and communicate, and

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in this conversation already, I'm interested
in the nature of that rebound job that

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was just a paycheck. Can you
share a little bit about that? I

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can you know? After I left
my dream job. I live in a

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small town out here in the Pacific
Northwest, and you know, I have

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a lot of life skills in me. I know how to handle people,

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difficult situations, money. I'm a
problem solver by nature. That's one of

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my superpowers. And I literally walked
down to my local hardware store. I

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knew that they had somebody leaving on
their staff, and I walked up to

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the owner and I I basically told
him why he needed to hire me.

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I didn't even ask for a job. I said, hey, I know

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you have an opening. Here's what
I can do for you. Short of

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learning what products you have and what
the pricing is I can jump right in

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and hit the ground running, and
I can benefit your customers. And part

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of the reason that sold him on
me for the job is I had I

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told him that I had been a
consumer of my community for a long time,

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meaning I shop here, but I
don't really contribute to the community.

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And I wanted to build my network. I wanted to get to know the

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people in my small town. And
what better way to do that than in

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a real retail sales job in your
in your local hardware store. How could

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he say no? Right? How
could he say? He said, when

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could you start? And the island
was I technically started for him before the

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final resignation papers hit my whold office. Wow. Well, I want to

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talk about that, Diane, because
I know that there are listeners right now

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who have been in that position where
they've had to walk away from a long

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career that they'd loved. And maybe
it wasn't their choice, maybe it wasn't

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there there what they really wanted,
but that's how it went down. I

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want to understand what was hard to
walk away from. Oh gosh, I

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mean when you put twenty two years, I'm forty nine, so at the

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time I was forty five when this
happened, so literally half my life.

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My joke is, I was institutionalized
for you know, for half my life.

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But I what was hard is that
was my family that you know,

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I spent more time with those people
than I spent with my real family.

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That was my network, It was
my identity, it was my community.

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It was the way I defined myself. You and I talked earlier in a

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different conversation about what identities we assume
when we're at work and when we're at

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home, and so imagine taking everything
you know about yourself and then overnight having

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it be gone. The uniform I
wore was no longer in my closet.

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I actually had to make choices about
what kind of shirts I wore every day.

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It sounds weird, but I never
had to do that. I didn't

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have a resume, I didn't have
a plan B. And so the biggest

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thing that was the loss for me
was my network in my community, the

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people that I coached, the people
that I worked with, they were truly

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the hardest thing to walk away from. I really get that we work with

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a lot of fortune five head o
companies that when they lose people, they

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periodically go through downsizings, et cetera. And they lose people that, just

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like you said, they've been working
with for ten, twenty sometimes more years,

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and it feels like a family.
So it feels like a death when

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they leave. I really appreciate what
you said there, you know, and

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the thank you, And I think
the hard part for me was that I

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had a lot of shame, you
know, even though it was my choice

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to leave, at the time that
I was leaving, I felt like I

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had no choice, and there was
a lot of guilt and shame and embarrassment

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that I carried with me as I
left the office. You know, there

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was a lot of that, well
what are people saying about me before I

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left? When you have situations like
this, the people that are left behind

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don't get the answers they need to
have closure. The people that are in

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charge don't give answers because they're either
legally not allowed to or it's easier not

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to. And so it was a
kind of an awkward death or an awkward

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closure because I didn't get to really
connect with the people that were meaningful to

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me. They didn't know if they
could reach out to me, and there

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was probably about a year that there
was sort of this in limbo of what's

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the right thing to do. Do
I reach out to the people who I

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left behind, or do I just
let them move on with their job and

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try to heal on my own.
How incredibly painful that drawn out experience,

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I can't imagine. Yeah, it
was, but I would tell you today,

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and I would tell your listeners that
I'm a better version of myself because

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that happened, and because I had
that pain, and because I had that

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experience, I can appreciate that.
I certainly think that my divorce has ushered

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in a whole new level of being
for me, and I'm grateful for that

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experience. It wasn't easy, it
wasn't fun, but it has I completely

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know what you mean. It has
helped me transform to what I think is

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a better human being, and I
think living at a higher, more appreciative

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level of the rest of my life. Definitely, And I think it makes

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you realize that the people who are
really truly a part of your family and

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your network and your support system and
your resilient circle, they're going to be

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there for you. It took me
some time because there was awkwardness there,

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but the people, you know,
the people that are going to be there

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and who love you and support you
regardless of what's happening. They're still going

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to show up and they're going to
be in your life even though your relationship

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may be a little bit different.
Yes, and then there's the new,

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wonderful compliment of people that come into
your path that you would have never imagined

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or never predicted. Indeed, and
I would tell you now that. So

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the title of my chapter in Dreaming
Big, Being Bold is the other side,

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and we'll get to that a little
bit. But part of what I

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know now by being on the other
side of that pain is I actually needed

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to create that space by letting go
of some of the old things that didn't

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serve me, and the old relationships
that didn't serve me, and the new

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relationships and new things that have come
into my life. Because I was able

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to create that space serve my purpose
and my passion to a higher degree than

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all the years that I spent doing
what I thought I was going to retire

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at mm hmm. Brilliant, Absolutely
brilliant. I'm just so glad that I

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think you found me some I think
was on LinkedIn. I'm so glad you

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did, Diana. It's just so
wonderful to have you now in my life.

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Thank you, well, You're welcome
and back at you. You know,

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I believe in synchronicity. I also
do not believe in any coincidences.

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I believe that everything happens for a
reason, whether it's God ordained or whether

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it's just part of the universe telling
you what needs to happen in your life.

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But you came into my life when
I was doing an interview series and

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that was amazing. So here we
are. It was great gobs of fun

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too well, and that gets me
to my next question. There are probably

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several listeners here who are very intrigued
with the idea that you have reinvented yourself

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and now you're actually a coach yourself. So I'm interested in having you share

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how it was you chose to become
a coach. Why that? Why didn't

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you go off and go into marketing
or accounting or become an artist. You

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became a coach? Why that?
I did you know? It's it's funny.

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As I've been in this last interview
series, we're talking a lot about

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listening to your gut, or listening
to the voice that's in your head that

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might tell you there's something different out
there for you. And you know,

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I really had that question what am
I going to do now? When I

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left my agency and I had a
friend of mine. First of all,

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you know, I was panicked about
where's the money going to come from and

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how am I going to survive?
And I'd say, I don't know what

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I'm going to do now, And
my friend said, isn't that interesting?

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You have no idea what you're going
to do next. So, first of

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all, that that rephrasing and re
energizing of that statement space again for me

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to be curious about what could happen
next. Then one of the things I

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did is I ask myself three questions, what can I do? What am

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I willing to do? And what
am I not willing to do? And

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I realized that if the bank collectors
were coming to repossess my house or my

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car, a lot of the things
on the what I'm not willing to do

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list would suddenly move over to the
I'm capable or I'm willing to do it

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list. So that's one, but
two, I actually had a little voice

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in my head that I had heard
a story of a friend of mine who

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said, one day, I want
to be a life coach, and I

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had absolutely no idea what a life
coach was, but that was rolling around

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in my head. I have had
other friends throughout my life who have jokingly

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said, Hey, can I make
you my personal life coach? Can I

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call you when I need you?
Will you be my two o'clock in the

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morning sitting on the ledge friends?
And what I realized is there were authentic

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pieces of me that have always been
in existence, even when I was a

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park ranger, even when I was
a manager, that I was putting into

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the other parts of my job.
I loved coaching and mentoring my staff.

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I love developing people. I loved
helping people solve their own problems and find

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their own power. And I just
did that authentically. So literally, on

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a whim, I looked up coaching
in Portland, Oregon. I came across

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Coach Training World with Master coach Ferotian
Knight, called her up, had a

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beautiful, wonderful, energetic, synergizing
conversation, and literally in that phone call,

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I said, Okay, this is
for me. I'm going to do

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it. This is home, this
is my tread. I need to present

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something that you said for our listeners. And I know you probably know this

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because of the work that you do, but it's just it was so subtle

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and beautiful when you said, just
changing the way that you uttered that sentence

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about you don't know what you're going
to do, kind of thing allowed and

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open to space for you is what
you said. Yeah. In my in

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my world, the work that we
do a insignium, which is organizational and

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professional transformation. You know this,
Diane, That possibility statement is what ushers

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in the possibility of transformation and absent
that you can't always create. And that's

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what you did. You opened a
space for yourself. And I think that

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is so good for our listeners to
hear that engaging and enticing possibility into our

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plan, especially when we're scared like
that can be so incredibly useful and yield

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something really amazing. Well indeed,
and I think sometimes it's just a question

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of changing the question or changing how
we ask it. You know, what

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am I going to do next?
Is downfall and negative? What am I

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going to do next? Is open
and energizing and inviting and curious. Well,

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and then we can add what am
I going to do next? Yeah?

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Right. You could put all kind
of parts of the sentence and create

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all sorts of different options. That's
right, that's right. And it's still

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though. There is this one little
word there that's really important. There's a

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couple words, but one in particular
that I wanted to make sure we talked

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about, and that's courage. It
came to you when you needed it the

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most, and you exercised choice in
that pivotal moment in the time of your

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life. And I know those are
core components of who you are and what

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you coach from. Can you talk
a little bit about that? Sure?

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You know when I left the first
part, you know, courage, First

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of all, it doesn't show up
when you're sitting on a park bench eating

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ice cream and life is good.
I mean, it shows up when stuff

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hits the fan and when it's hard. But the other part that was really

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pivotal for me was choice, and
they kind of go hand in hand.

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When I first left my job and
I was in pain and I was not

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wanting to take responsibility for some of
the pieces that I owned. The story

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I told was I got fired.
They pushed me out, they pushed my

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chair close to the door. What
I realized later as I started to heal

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and I could be honest with myself, was that that wasn't true. What

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was true was I made the choice
to resign. And as soon as I

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realized that, literally, at least
there was a it felt like there was

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a softball size wad of power that
was sitting underneath my diaphragm, in my

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solar plexus that I literally suddenly became
aware of that was mine. It was

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my choice to leave. And as
soon as I started telling the story that

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it was my choice to leave,
it reframed everything about how I started living

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my life, and it made me
realize we have a lot more choice in

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everything we do, and sometimes it
takes courage just to make that first choice

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to get things started so beautifully and
crisply articulated. And what I'll say is

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that oftentimes when I'm speaking to audiences, I will say, especially as an

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identity researcher, Diane, you and
I talked about this, I tell my

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audiences, well, guess what you
are the author of your life story,

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and guess what that means. You
get to be the editor too, right,

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And so if you don't like the
way your life story sounds or the

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way it comes out for you,
then edit it, change it. Are

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the one who's in charge of that, and you did that beautifully. Thank

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you, Thank you. You know
that was really for your listeners. I

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would tell you that that's the powerful
moment is when you get to own something

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that is yours that nobody can take
away. The agency couldn't take it away,

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the pain couldn't take it away.
It was mine. I owned it,

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I created it, It lived and
still does live inside me. And

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it's amazing what kind of what kind
of things you can start accomplishing when you

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realize that you have something that nobody
can take away. I think of one

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of my favorite movies is Shawshank Redemption, and I think of when Andy gets

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put in the hold and he is
in his head, he's playing opera music

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and he was telling the fellows how
he survived was because he had that music

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in his head that the warden could
not ever take away. And I feel

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like that energy and that courage and
that choice is very similar to that scene

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in Shawshank. What a beautiful way
to take us into our first break,

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Diane. I'm your host, Lis
Cortez. We were on the air with

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00:18:57.559 --> 00:19:03.559
Diane McLay, who is a professional
whole person coach who helps midlife professionals navigate

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career transitions through choice and courage to
make meaningful change. She was also the

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co author of Dreaming Big, Being
Bold, Inspiring Stories from Trailblazers, Visionaies

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and change Makers. She joins today
from Portland, Oregon. We'll talk more

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after the break. Stay with us, We'll be right back. Friend us

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00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:33.119
on Facebook to keep up with what's
empowering the world. Voice America Empowerment Alis

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00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:37.599
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She will help ignite meaningful development within
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Now back to Working on Purpose.
Thanks for staying with us, and welcome

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00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.920
back to Working on Purpose if you're
just joining us. My guest is Diane

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00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:03.400
McClay, who is a sort of
professional whole person coach who helps midlife professionals

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00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:07.359
navigate career transitions through choice and courage
to make meaningful change. We've been talking

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a bit about her own story,
her own history of what got her here

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today and some of the things that
helped her along the way that she now

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uses to help coach other people along
their way. For this next bit of

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segment, here, Diane, I
want to talk about the book that you've

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got a chapter in and it's again
called Dreaming Big, Being Bold, inspiring

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stories from trailblazers, visionaries and change
makers, and I love it. It's

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just it's great. It Not only
is it a beautiful cover, but the

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content is spectacular. And one of
the things that you say in there that

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I really appreciated is that you said, if you're not nervous, you're not

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growing and that vulnerability is your source
of power. That's incredibly provocative. Let's

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hear a little bit more about that. Well, I can't take complete credit

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for that. I work with a
life coach myself, Nicole Peterman from Zenrad,

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NYC. And when I was in
some of the deepest parts of my

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pain, and I had a lot
of question about who I was and know

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why this happened to me and when
why I was feeling so much pain.

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As I was talking, my coach
recognized that I was at an extremely vulnerable

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place. I mean, there was
a point where you could say the word

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blue and I would start crying,
and you know, I didn't. I

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00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:19.640
grew up not wanting to show that
I was crying, not wanting to be

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weak, not wanting to be vulnerable, feeling like I had to work things

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out on my own and not ask
for help. And my coach pointed out

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to me that at the point where
you are feeling your most vulnerable, that

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is actually where that there's an intersection
between your vulnerability and your power. And

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for me, it's in that solar
plexus area where that ball of power resides

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every day and again, it's reframing
how you look at it when if you

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don't see it as being vulnerable,
but you see it as okay, it

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can't get any worse than this,
or at least right now it doesn't feel

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like it can get any worse.
Now you get the opp opportunity to say,

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how can I start making it better? What's one thing I can do

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differently to start gaining my strength back, you know, gaining my reliance on

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myself back, and learning about how
to move myself forward. And so that's

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what my coach was meaning, where
vulnerability it really actually is the source of

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where your power comes from. That
is incredible and how I hope for our

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listeners, I hope they find that
to be hopelessly encouraging. And then along

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those lines too, the notion that
that kind of a place can actually give

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power to you and what you said
about just do one thing to move you

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forward. My coach, Sean Anderson
tells me the same thing all the time.

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He's been amazing to me. He's
always in my corner. And then

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the other thing that I also want
to call out what you said about you

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know you grow up not wanting to
show you that you would cry about something.

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One of the things that we do
here at Insignium is when we're talking

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about especially inspirational leadership, we really
encourage people and certain leaders to be able

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to delve into and lean into their
full complement of human emotion. And how

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beautiful is that. And so when
we can actually show that we're vulnerable and

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therefore we're authentic and we're accessible,
people trust us. People want to be

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around that, right, And then
when we can actually show them when we

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get moved, touched and inspired or
hurt by something, whether that's a tear

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or just you know, you're just
moved, is incredibly enrolling for people.

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So I just really want to call
it what you said that it's incredibly powerful

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what you're talking about. Thank you, and I receive that. You know,

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it's about it's about being authentic.
And you know, we all know

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that when we engage it, whether
we buy something, or we create a

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relationship or there's a network that we
engage with, there's a gut feeling that

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we have about whether somebody is being
genuine or not. And it's not necessarily

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about crying or being super raw emotional, but it's about being able to convey

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the weaknesses that you had or the
sense of vulnerability in a way that you

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can you can connect with people at
the same level of authenticity that they have.

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And I think that that's important when
we talk about coaching in particular,

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because we're asking our clients to share
with us their most vulnerable points. And

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vulnerability is also a beautiful place to
teach from because we all have it.

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Whatever it looks like, we all
have it, We've all experienced it,

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and it's a universal theme that we
can all relate to in a very short

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period of time. Beautiful, Diane, incredible. Okay, So next,

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what I want to talk about along
those same lines, I like very much

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whenever I can to really kind of
give our listeners a mini package, if

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you will. And you've got five
concepts that you work and coach from that

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you talk about in that chapter book, and I'd love to be able to

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treat each one of them if we
can. So the first one, of

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course, is awareness, and if
you could talk a little bit about this

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and maybe tell a story or give
an example of each of these concepts as

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we go, that would be I
think incredibly useful for our listeners. Okay,

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00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.359
we can do that. So for
me, especially with my outdoor background

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and being connected to the land.
I do a lot of hiking out in

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the Pacific Northwest, and for me, awareness is it's what's going on around

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you. It's what's going on in
your environment. It's also what's going on

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inside you. But the analogy I
like to use is it's like hiking with

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00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:25.680
a map or an interpretive guide.
You have some information about what's happening around

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00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:30.319
you that helps you get where you
want to go. So a quick example

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00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:33.440
would be a super easy quick example
would be is that I don't believe that

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00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:40.200
you can make a change until you're
aware that either a change has been made

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00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:42.960
around you or that one needs to
be made. So, for example,

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00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:48.400
in my job, there is things
happening behind the scenes that I was not

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00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:52.279
aware of that was happening, and
when it finally got caught up with me,

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00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:56.920
it forced a change. It forced
a divergence in my personal and professional

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00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:04.240
life. Until I was aware of
that, I was wandering around blissfully ignorant

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00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:08.599
of kind of some of the political
things that were going on behind the scenes

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00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:14.519
and some of the expectations that I
was not meeting for my managers. So

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00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:18.759
it was a complete shock to me
when I got the phone call that said,

408
00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:21.200
hey, you need to be in
your office at one point thirty I

409
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:23.839
need to talk to you. So
as soon as that phone call came in,

410
00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:26.559
I had awareness. My gut went, oh, oh, this doesn't

411
00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:30.440
feel good. I started collecting my
personal items, even though I had no

412
00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:36.519
reason to believe I needed to.
So another quick, simple example is if

413
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:41.400
you go to the doctor and the
doctor says, hey, you're pre diabetic.

414
00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:45.200
You need to start watching the sugar
in your in your diet, you

415
00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:48.480
wouldn't. You may not change what
you're eating until you get that information or

416
00:28:48.519 --> 00:28:52.599
that awareness from an outside source that
tells you that you need to change.

417
00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:57.640
Does that make sense? Yes?
Indeed it does, yes, And that's

418
00:28:57.839 --> 00:29:02.519
that's it's incredibly In fact, I
had an insight about that for myself,

419
00:29:02.519 --> 00:29:03.720
and I won't talk about it now
because it's not relative to this, but

420
00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:07.920
it just gave me a wonderful access
to an AHA for me. Thank you,

421
00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.119
Diane. That was great. Oh
you're here, welcome great, I'm

422
00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:14.960
glad I could do that. Yeah, right here on air. That's awesome.

423
00:29:15.559 --> 00:29:18.240
So you know, awareness is you
have to have it. It's either

424
00:29:18.279 --> 00:29:22.799
going to come to you like my
job situation, or you're going to choose

425
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:25.720
it. Another one might be,
oh, you know, I didn't stick

426
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:27.480
with my New Year's resolutions. I
really want to start working out more.

427
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:32.920
Well, my awareness is maybe I
need to work out more because my pants

428
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:34.799
don't fit the way I want them
to. Okay, now what am I

429
00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:40.680
going to do with that information?
So awareness comes in, and again I

430
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:45.359
want to reemphasize, it's like a
roadmap. It's happening. There's awareness inside

431
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:48.680
your body. There are people that
are kinesthetic learners, that have energy and

432
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.680
they can feel things. We can
see things, we can sense things.

433
00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:55.440
We can ask the people around us, hey, what do you see about

434
00:29:55.480 --> 00:29:57.759
what's going on? You know how
many of us have asked Our partners are

435
00:29:57.799 --> 00:30:03.400
led ones, hey do do these
pants make my butt look big? We

436
00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:07.000
look for that feedback, We look
for that awareness from other people around us.

437
00:30:07.400 --> 00:30:10.319
So once we get it, that
kind of leads into the second step,

438
00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:14.839
which is creating options. Okay,
go ahead, creating options. So

439
00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:21.359
it's once our ability to receive information
has come in, then we literally get

440
00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:23.000
to say, what am I going
to do with it? Am I going

441
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:26.400
to ignore it and keep doing what
I'm doing? Am I going to create

442
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:30.720
an action plan to change what I'm
doing, How do I feel about it?

443
00:30:32.200 --> 00:30:34.400
Do I want to change it in
big strides like Hey, my pants

444
00:30:34.440 --> 00:30:37.960
don't fit, so I'm going to
go run a marathon? Or am I

445
00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:41.279
going to do it in little bitty
increments like Hey, my pants don't fit

446
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:42.519
and I'm going to go take the
dog for a walk for an hour every

447
00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:47.559
day. Right, we get to
start putting options in front of us,

448
00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:51.720
and my belief is as soon as
you have an option, you have a

449
00:30:51.799 --> 00:30:53.960
choice. So for me, I
told you I had three questions when I

450
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:57.720
quit my job. What am I
willing to do? What can I do?

451
00:30:59.160 --> 00:31:02.559
And what am I not willing to
do? And I literally just listed

452
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:07.000
anything that came to my vision in
those three categories, because what I'm capable

453
00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:14.720
of doing might be very different than
what I want to do. So then

454
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:18.160
I started going down the list and
I started saying, where's the crossover?

455
00:31:18.759 --> 00:31:22.839
What am I willing to do?
And what can I do? And will

456
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.359
that make me happy? That's what
led me to kind of the retail hardware

457
00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:30.839
store is I put together a list
of things that I was capable of doing

458
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:37.400
and then cross reference them to the
local options that were available to me and

459
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:41.559
Bob's your uncle. I had a
job. Bob's your uncle. I've never

460
00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:45.000
heard that before. I've had to
explain that to a lot of people.

461
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:51.119
That might be a Midwest term that
somehow is incorporated into my vernacular. I

462
00:31:51.160 --> 00:31:55.200
think. So, Okay, I
really appreciate that idea of creating options.

463
00:31:55.240 --> 00:31:56.839
What I also like about that is
just you know, the core word they're

464
00:31:56.839 --> 00:32:01.200
creating, and there's something about that
that that that's generative, right, There's

465
00:32:01.319 --> 00:32:06.720
that that's that it's energetic, and
it's just I really appreciate that. And

466
00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:08.720
I do think that your model of
you know, what you said before about

467
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:10.400
what am I willing to do?
What can I do? What am I

468
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:14.599
not willing to do? Is incredibly
useful, and that also is giving me

469
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:17.799
access to something as well for myself. Yet again, Diane, so this

470
00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:20.519
is good. When do I Bill
at the end of the show, I

471
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:22.839
was going to say, this is
good? Okay, anything else you want

472
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:27.400
to say on creating options before we
go to make choices? No, I

473
00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.680
think we can go right into that. Okay, go for it. So

474
00:32:30.200 --> 00:32:34.440
the beautiful thing about once you have
an option is and I love how you

475
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:37.599
said, it's a it's kind of
a forward, projecting action. Once you

476
00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:40.559
know, I kind of use an
analogy of picking ice cream. You know,

477
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:45.400
once you decide that you're not going
to have your favorite ice cream,

478
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.359
you now have to go through the
making choices part. And choice is again

479
00:32:51.400 --> 00:32:55.480
I'm going to tell you that I
feel like it's really really powerful and and

480
00:32:55.519 --> 00:33:01.960
I often say not making a choice
is a choice because you're not moving forward.

481
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:06.640
You're saying I'm going to accept the
information that I have and I'm not

482
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:08.240
going to do anything about it,
and I'm going to be okay with that,

483
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:12.359
or I'm going to pretend like I'm
gonna be okay with that. So

484
00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:15.640
the beautiful thing about making choices is
you don't have to do one hundred and

485
00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:21.920
eighty degree turn if you make one
small choice, Like, for example,

486
00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:23.720
if I wanted to give up sugar, instead of just saying, hey,

487
00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:29.079
I'm going to give up sugar tomorrow
on everything, I might say tomorrow at

488
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:31.920
breakfast, instead of putting sugar in
my coffee, I'm going to use honey.

489
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:37.079
That's one small change. Now,
if I did that for thirty days,

490
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:39.079
that would create a habit, and
it would be easier for me to

491
00:33:39.079 --> 00:33:43.400
give up sugar. In other parts
of my life. But the beautiful,

492
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:47.839
beautiful thing about options and choice going
hand in hand is one begets the other.

493
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:57.000
And I believe that small choices,
one degree of change over time leads

494
00:33:57.039 --> 00:34:00.119
to big, big, dramatic changes. You know, I could, I

495
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:04.119
could cite a lot of different examples, but just for your listeners, think

496
00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:07.920
of anything in your life where you
wanted one thing to change. Maybe you

497
00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:10.599
drove differently to your work, maybe
you ordered something different off of the menu.

498
00:34:12.039 --> 00:34:14.960
Maybe you've got a different glass of
wine because you were curious what it

499
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.639
tasted like. As soon as you
make one small change, you now have

500
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:24.960
more information that will feed the next
change you want to make. That is

501
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:30.519
so brilliantly simple. It's so elegantly
simple, it really is. And I

502
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:31.880
also what I also like about that
one, too, Diane, is,

503
00:34:32.320 --> 00:34:37.199
to me, there's a connection to
the creation piece, because when you make

504
00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:42.239
choices, you're creating new possibilities again
for yourself. M h m hmm,

505
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:45.679
you know. And it's it's when
you're when you're going through a big dramatic

506
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:51.079
change. I mean, there were
there were days that figuring out which T

507
00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:52.960
shirt I was going to wear or
which couch I was going to sleep on

508
00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:57.920
was the biggest choice I needed to
make that day, and you know,

509
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:04.920
and it was a tough decision,
but you break big decisions into smaller,

510
00:35:05.119 --> 00:35:09.760
more manageable chunks, and one day, one day goes by, and it's

511
00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:15.119
been four and a half years since
I had that big pain point that made

512
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:19.960
me feel like my life ended,
and it was a series of small Today,

513
00:35:19.960 --> 00:35:22.440
I'm going to get up and go
for lock. Today I'm going to

514
00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:24.880
go to yoga. And now yoga
is a part of my practice every day

515
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:30.440
because I made one choice at one
point in my journey to try a class

516
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.559
M and that might get us to
our fourth concept. I'm guessing what you

517
00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:38.199
call incorporate movement, Yes, indeed, yes, and not just physical movement,

518
00:35:38.599 --> 00:35:43.840
but energy resides in the body and
when we have stress and we have

519
00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:47.079
negative emotions, and for me especially, this is something that I've learned,

520
00:35:47.239 --> 00:35:53.719
is that my body retains energy in
a lot of different ways. So when

521
00:35:53.719 --> 00:35:59.599
I started going to yoga, I
started becoming aware of where my body was

522
00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:04.400
holding not just my shoulders, but
my head or my chest or different muscle

523
00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:09.559
groups. I started using breath to
lean into those parts to give relief to

524
00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:15.239
them. When they were in pain, and then I started. It wasn't

525
00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:21.039
just yoga, it was Plate's but
it was moving of the energy through meditation.

526
00:36:21.639 --> 00:36:23.400
These are all I grew up in
the Midwest, and that's all of

527
00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:28.679
that's kind of woo woo compared to
what I grew up to believe to be

528
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:34.639
possible. And what I realized is
as soon as I start moving energetically,

529
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:40.639
physically, emotionally, spiritually, it
became easier to see more choice, and

530
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:49.639
it became easier to exercise courage to
do something completely different. I completely understand

531
00:36:49.639 --> 00:36:52.159
that. I know, for me, I'm a very physically oriented person.

532
00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:54.159
I have to have my exercise,
But now you've given me a few other

533
00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:59.719
dimensions about movement there too, Diane, about the energy within the body,

534
00:36:59.719 --> 00:37:05.119
within the mind. That I also
appreciate you presencing for us too amazing And

535
00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:07.719
if I could add to that.
You know, when I was when I

536
00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:12.159
was a park ranger, I worked
outside all the time. I was physically

537
00:37:12.159 --> 00:37:16.159
moving everywhere. When I worked in
the hardware store, was standing at a

538
00:37:16.199 --> 00:37:20.239
register. You know, I got
excited when I got to run outside and

539
00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:24.280
load lumber. But not just that
part of the physical thing, but when

540
00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:29.000
I left my job. The other
thing that I that took me a while

541
00:37:29.039 --> 00:37:32.519
to go back to is to go
touch the land and go to the places

542
00:37:32.519 --> 00:37:38.639
that I used to serve as a
steward and feel rejuvenated by the land and

543
00:37:38.920 --> 00:37:43.639
the energy that has on it.
So, in my pain point, I

544
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:47.960
gave up this the very thing that
fed my soul, which was going out

545
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:52.159
for hikes, sitting underneath the tree, burying myself in a pile of leaves,

546
00:37:52.360 --> 00:37:57.360
talking to the animals, watching eagles
fly by. I gave that up

547
00:37:57.480 --> 00:38:00.360
because it was too painful for me
to connect to it, because I had

548
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:07.239
been divorced from it, And when
I started giving myself permission to go back

549
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:13.079
to those places and revisit the things
that fed my soul, my creativity opened

550
00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:16.119
up the writer and we came back. You know, I was able to

551
00:38:16.199 --> 00:38:22.199
see the beauty in the world that
has always been there, but I wasn't

552
00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:25.639
able to see because I was blinded
by pain. Two things are that really

553
00:38:25.719 --> 00:38:29.320
quick, and then they got a
cut for a break. One is I

554
00:38:29.360 --> 00:38:32.280
also see that you're honoring that beautiful
part of your past that made you,

555
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:37.880
helped make you who you are in
so doing that and so going back to

556
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:39.480
the land like that. And then
two, the other piece that I see

557
00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:45.199
in that, Diane, is that
you're also giving access to yourself, to

558
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:50.960
your various senses, which is so
important to enliven you and to give you

559
00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:53.119
new possibilities for yourself as well.
I saw those two things in what you

560
00:38:53.119 --> 00:38:57.400
said as well. Indeed, and
I'll just close with this. Last one

561
00:38:57.480 --> 00:39:00.519
is resilience, and that is that
we're more resilient than we think we are,

562
00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:04.800
and you know, almost there's not
very much that will actually kill us.

563
00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:07.639
It is true that if it doesn't
kill us, it will make us

564
00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.199
stronger. And we'll say a little
bit more about that when we come back

565
00:39:10.199 --> 00:39:14.519
from a break. I think that's
really important. I'm Alice Cortez. I'm

566
00:39:14.519 --> 00:39:16.039
Elisee Cortez, your host. We've
been on the year with Diane maclay,

567
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:22.320
who is a certified professional Whole person
coach who helps midlife professionals navigate career transitions

568
00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:25.199
through choice and courage to make meaningful
change. She was also the co author

569
00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:30.239
of Dreaming Big, Being Bold,
inspiring stories from Trailblazers, visionaries, and

570
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:34.719
change makers. She joins today from
Portland, Oregon. Stay with us,

571
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:45.400
We'll be right back friend us on
Facebook to keep up with what's empowering the

572
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:52.719
world. Voice America Empowerment. Alice
Cortez is a speaker and engagement and development

573
00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:59.519
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional
development, leadership and engagement workshops and can

574
00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:04.400
bring her expertise to your organization.
She will help ignite meaningful development within your

575
00:40:04.440 --> 00:40:08.599
workforce that will increase employee engagement,
performance and retention. To learn more or

576
00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:14.360
to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at www dot

577
00:40:14.440 --> 00:40:20.000
Elisecortes dot com. She would welcome
the opportunity to help get your employees working

578
00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:24.159
on purpose. We're making it easier
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579
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Network wherever you go. In addition
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582
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584
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587
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588
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Party for positive, uplifting, life
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589
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com. Jesus you follow us on
Twitter for more great ideas at Voice America

590
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:53.320
Empowerment. This is Working on Purpose
with Alas Cortes. To reach our program

591
00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:58.559
today, please call in to one
triple eight three four six nine one four

592
00:41:58.639 --> 00:42:01.440
one. Again, that's one on
Triple eight three four six nine to one

593
00:42:01.519 --> 00:42:08.760
four one. You may also send
an email to Elise Alis at Eliseportes dot

594
00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:19.960
com. Now back to Working on
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us,

595
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:22.880
and welcome back to Working on Purpose. If you're just tuning in. My

596
00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:27.000
guest is Diane Maclay, who is
a certified professional Whole person coach who helps

597
00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:30.880
midlife professionals navigate career transitions through choice
and courage to make meaningful change. I'm

598
00:42:30.920 --> 00:42:35.079
your host, Alise Cortes. So
before the break, Diane, you were

599
00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:37.239
just finishing your fifth concept on be
Resilient. I just wanted to say a

600
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:42.639
couple things about that really quick.
Even just this morning, I was thinking

601
00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:45.760
about all the balls that I have
juggling right now, and I'm thinking to

602
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:47.000
myself, I only have twenty four
hours in a day, and I need

603
00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:51.719
thirty six. And then I went
to what my mom used to always say.

604
00:42:51.719 --> 00:42:52.360
And I won't say it the way
that she did because we're going to

605
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:55.880
be on air and there is a
dirty word in there, but she used

606
00:42:55.880 --> 00:43:00.280
to say, you know, some
important has it worse than you, some

607
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.719
other poor person has it worse than
you. And I always try to think

608
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:07.320
about that, that it is amazing
what a human being can actually do,

609
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:13.400
and especially when you consider the spirit
that's under that that actually fuels it.

610
00:43:13.400 --> 00:43:15.880
It is truly remarkable what a human
can do. And I really would like

611
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:20.800
our listeners to make sure that you
catch that that, yeah, it's going

612
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:25.239
to be tough no matter what,
but the resiliency cannot be underestimated. And

613
00:43:25.280 --> 00:43:30.199
thanks for pointing that out. You
know, I've heard a similar a similar

614
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:32.480
quote where someone said there's somebody who
has less than you that is very happy

615
00:43:32.559 --> 00:43:37.360
with what they have. Mm hmmmm
hm. So that that kind of keeps

616
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:40.719
me going every day to remind myself
you know it's everybody's loss and resilience is

617
00:43:40.719 --> 00:43:45.239
different, but everybody hits a rock
bottom, and the sense of rock bottom

618
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:49.440
and the sense of recovery from that
and the sense of climbing out of that

619
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:53.920
and becoming better through that is universal, I believe, regardless of what the

620
00:43:53.920 --> 00:43:59.239
situation is. Yes, and to
allow ourselves to be open to and be

621
00:43:59.639 --> 00:44:06.039
to be transformed by that difficulty,
challenge, pain, whatever it is,

622
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:12.840
that's how people become even more magnificent
human beings. Indeed, yeah, yeah,

623
00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:15.800
indeed. Okay, So for this
next section here, this next segment

624
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:19.480
here, I want to talk about
how we actually met, which is you've

625
00:44:19.519 --> 00:44:23.079
reached out to me for related to
the Unleash your Dream Career online interview series,

626
00:44:23.119 --> 00:44:28.199
and you featured more than twenty renowned
experts who help in life career professionals

627
00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:30.719
create and sustain more meaningful and purpose, more meaning and purpose in the second

628
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:35.639
half of their lives. I thought
that was tremendous. I was thrilled to

629
00:44:35.639 --> 00:44:38.480
participate. Thank you again for having
me for our listeners. How did you

630
00:44:38.519 --> 00:44:42.000
get the idea to do that and
how do you go how did you go

631
00:44:42.039 --> 00:44:45.519
about organizing that effort? Because I
know it wasn't easy. Well, thank

632
00:44:45.559 --> 00:44:49.840
you for that, and again thank
you just for your contribution and bringing the

633
00:44:49.880 --> 00:44:52.800
awareness about identities at work. That's
what really captured me and connected me to

634
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:58.719
you. I'm part of the part
of the business mastermind that I'm using to

635
00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:02.639
grow my business and to create a
new network of people. It talks about

636
00:45:04.239 --> 00:45:07.639
creating. I spent twenty two years
in government where that was a closed network

637
00:45:07.679 --> 00:45:13.320
system, and now I'm trying to
be a successful entrepreneur in a business that

638
00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:16.639
people don't know who I am.
So one way to do that is it's

639
00:45:16.679 --> 00:45:21.679
like moving into a new neighborhood and
introducing yourself to the neighbors, the experts,

640
00:45:21.719 --> 00:45:24.519
the speakers, the people who are
out there who've been doing the work

641
00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:29.280
like what you're doing with work on
purpose, and connect yourself to them.

642
00:45:29.599 --> 00:45:34.360
And then the second part is that
there's a lot to be learned by putting

643
00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:37.880
twenty five people into a room or
twenty people in the room. There's a

644
00:45:37.960 --> 00:45:40.400
saying that I used to teach with
that said, none of us is as

645
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:45.480
smart as all of us, and
I really truly believe that when we can

646
00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:50.880
align ourselves with people that have similar
messages to us, similar energy, space,

647
00:45:51.199 --> 00:45:54.079
similar goals and visions for what they
want to contribute to the world.

648
00:45:54.559 --> 00:45:59.199
We can move mountains. So that
was the second part, and then the

649
00:45:59.239 --> 00:46:04.400
third part is to be able to
start creating a brand for myself and start

650
00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:07.320
putting myself out there as being somebody
that people can call and they can connect

651
00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:13.360
with. About working through career change. Well, I was really impressed Ian

652
00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:17.920
with how incredibly well organized you were
in that effort, just all the way

653
00:46:17.960 --> 00:46:21.920
through, from the beginning of how
you reached out to introduce yourself to me,

654
00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:27.920
how you conducted the conversation, how
you evangelized it using technology, and

655
00:46:27.960 --> 00:46:31.440
even how you presence yourself. Really
it's really impressive. Well, thank you,

656
00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:37.519
And I have good coaches. I'm
working through hardcore business with Shanda Sumter

657
00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:42.679
and she's been doing this a long
time, but she has a lot of

658
00:46:42.679 --> 00:46:45.400
great messages about really, if you
have a passion and you have a message

659
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:49.440
to put into the world, there's
a way. There's room enough in the

660
00:46:49.480 --> 00:46:52.320
world for everybody to do that.
If you think of the billions of people

661
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:55.639
we have, how many life coaches
we have, how many radio shows there

662
00:46:55.639 --> 00:47:01.519
are, there's a slice for everybody, andunction with the capacity that a,

663
00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:06.119
I have a right to be there, and I can be there, and

664
00:47:06.199 --> 00:47:10.000
I'm qualified to be there. But
then that it's not a competition. You

665
00:47:10.039 --> 00:47:14.760
know, if you and I were
both coaches in the same town, if

666
00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:17.320
you got a client that I didn't, I'd be happy for you, because

667
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:22.559
it's about getting the information into the
hands of the people so that they can

668
00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:27.000
make the change and the choices in
their life to really truly be happy individuals

669
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:30.800
and contribute to themselves, their network, and their society in a bigger,

670
00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:35.840
broader kind of way. So when
you look at it from a non competitive

671
00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:40.000
standpoint and you say, hey,
there's room for everybody to do their specialty

672
00:47:40.039 --> 00:47:45.920
and to do their passion and to
make money at it, that changes how

673
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:51.119
you can start functioning in the world. You start looking for collaboration rather than

674
00:47:51.159 --> 00:47:54.440
competition. Two things to that,
Diane, if I may, One is

675
00:47:54.559 --> 00:47:59.400
the notion of abundance, right just
what you're what I think you're also presencing

676
00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:05.039
is that the abundance mentality versus the
competitive and there's a single pidate to pull

677
00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:08.519
from mentality. So I appreciate that
tremendously. And then the second thing that

678
00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:13.480
I really want to say is that
I really think that if you really are,

679
00:48:14.079 --> 00:48:15.159
if you want to be up to
something in life, and certainly if

680
00:48:15.199 --> 00:48:20.599
you need some help navigating a difficult
situation, I really think it's useful to

681
00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:22.440
work with someone else. In your
case, you've got a coach or maybe

682
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:27.840
a couple. I have two coaches
as well, and I think that it's

683
00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:31.960
hard to uncover and become all we
can be just on our own perspective,

684
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:36.400
on our own, our own path. We need help well, and I

685
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:39.280
think you're doing yourself a disservice if
you try again. Earlier in the show,

686
00:48:39.320 --> 00:48:44.760
I had mentioned that I for a
long time I carried the story that

687
00:48:44.920 --> 00:48:49.559
asking for help was a weakness.
And what I now realized, because I've

688
00:48:49.559 --> 00:48:52.840
been vulnerable and because I needed help, I now realize that it's not It's

689
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:58.519
not only not a weakness, it's
a strength well when you ask for help,

690
00:48:58.679 --> 00:49:00.119
and then when you ask for specif
if it asks, like when I

691
00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:06.239
ask you to be on the show, you are allowing someone else to step

692
00:49:06.280 --> 00:49:09.880
into their passion or to step into
their purpose. By asking for the help,

693
00:49:10.360 --> 00:49:15.840
you are allowing someone else to hold
their light up so that you can

694
00:49:15.239 --> 00:49:20.519
be drawn to it and you can
see what they have to offer. So

695
00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:23.039
when you change it from a selfish
you know, don't make it a selfish

696
00:49:23.079 --> 00:49:27.559
thing. If you don't ask for
help, you're being selfish. If you

697
00:49:27.599 --> 00:49:31.280
do ask for help, you are
offering someone else the opportunity to step into

698
00:49:31.320 --> 00:49:36.880
their greatness. Mm hm. And
how beautiful is that? Next week we

699
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:39.039
will have David Perks on the on
the on the on air. He and

700
00:49:39.119 --> 00:49:43.639
I just pre recorded this show because
he's in he is in Sydney, Australia,

701
00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:47.280
and he was talking about the whole
ripple effect Diane of you know when

702
00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:51.239
you do something, when you even
call it and recognize someone, what you're

703
00:49:51.239 --> 00:49:54.320
doing is you're starting a little ripple
or butterfly effect. And how what a

704
00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:58.760
difference that can make. And I
completely agree with both of you on that

705
00:49:58.840 --> 00:50:01.400
front. Well, and I think
it's for me personally, it's more rewarding.

706
00:50:01.519 --> 00:50:06.320
I love and going back to thing
as a kid. I love standing

707
00:50:06.360 --> 00:50:08.119
on the edge of a pond and
picking up a rock and skipping it and

708
00:50:08.159 --> 00:50:12.840
seeing how far I could make it
go or how many ripples I could make.

709
00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:15.280
And if I go back to if
I invite your listeners to go back

710
00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:19.840
to something that they used to do
as a kid that gave them pure joy

711
00:50:20.519 --> 00:50:23.719
than coaching in this way and collaborating
with people like you on radio shows like

712
00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:29.119
this is exactly the same thing as
being five and skipping a rock on the

713
00:50:29.199 --> 00:50:34.039
pond. It's just a broader scale. M I agree. I agree.

714
00:50:35.239 --> 00:50:37.559
Well, we're coming close to the
end of the show already here, but

715
00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:42.159
if you can, just because some
people don't understand what coaching means, and

716
00:50:42.199 --> 00:50:45.360
some people have a negative connotation with
coaching. They think it means you're doing

717
00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:50.679
something bad at work, so you
need to be coached. That mentality still

718
00:50:50.719 --> 00:50:52.840
exists for some people. So can
you talk a little bit about your own

719
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:57.199
coaching and maybe give us an example
or two without giving away, of course,

720
00:50:57.199 --> 00:51:00.480
the identity of your client of maybe
someone that you've helped that you're particularly

721
00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:04.920
proud of. Sure, and just
real quick to say that coaching is about

722
00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:08.079
giving all the power to the client
and asking the client what is important to

723
00:51:08.119 --> 00:51:12.480
them. And then the coach is
the one who holds up the mirror in

724
00:51:12.519 --> 00:51:15.159
a non judgmental space and says,
here's what I see, here's what I

725
00:51:15.199 --> 00:51:19.800
hear. How can I help you
pick between these two things? And how

726
00:51:19.800 --> 00:51:22.320
can I help you align your values
to your belief systems so that you feel

727
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:27.760
whole in whatever it is that you're
doing. Folks that I have helped have

728
00:51:28.079 --> 00:51:30.440
wanted to. Some of them have
been unemployed and they've been trying to figure

729
00:51:30.440 --> 00:51:35.199
out how do they get back into
the job market. A couple people have

730
00:51:35.320 --> 00:51:38.519
been trying to cut loose of a
job that doesn't serve them, and they

731
00:51:38.559 --> 00:51:43.679
really want to find their passion,
but they have some fear holding them back

732
00:51:43.719 --> 00:51:49.280
about giving up a paycheck or stepping
into success. And so the work that

733
00:51:49.320 --> 00:51:54.159
we do is really it almost always
comes down to belief systems and stories and

734
00:51:54.239 --> 00:51:59.760
how we can, as we talked
about earlier, bring new ways and new

735
00:51:59.800 --> 00:52:04.440
pa to bring out all of the
aspects of who we are as a whole

736
00:52:04.480 --> 00:52:07.480
person. I've learned to think with
my heart and not just my head,

737
00:52:07.880 --> 00:52:14.320
and that's thanks to my coach.
So it's combining everything about what makes you

738
00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:19.239
you and putting that in front of
you so that you can realize the resources

739
00:52:19.280 --> 00:52:22.320
and skills that you already have inside
you, and you can make the choice

740
00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:28.719
to move forward and do something that
serves you better. M Yeah, and

741
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:30.800
for me, I can say that
the coaches that I've worked with, especially

742
00:52:30.880 --> 00:52:37.280
Sean Anderson. He really helped what
he does for me as he holds me

743
00:52:37.360 --> 00:52:42.880
accountable to my dreams, my goals, and he just won't give up on

744
00:52:42.920 --> 00:52:45.079
me. He just won't give up
on me, and he reminds me.

745
00:52:45.159 --> 00:52:47.280
Look, Cortez, you know you
said you want to do do X.

746
00:52:47.320 --> 00:52:51.599
What have you done to move the
needle to get to X? I find

747
00:52:51.639 --> 00:52:53.760
that incredibly useful for me for what
I'm up to in life. And so

748
00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:57.880
there's lots of ways to get coaching, and I just like to make sure

749
00:52:57.880 --> 00:53:01.840
that our listeners understand that as well. And there's different different different perspectives,

750
00:53:01.880 --> 00:53:07.639
different mentalities. I agree with you
that mentality and stories have a lot to

751
00:53:07.679 --> 00:53:12.400
do with us being able to be
freed up to go after what we want

752
00:53:12.480 --> 00:53:15.400
and get what we want when we
can get access to those things to change.

753
00:53:15.679 --> 00:53:17.360
And I think about getting out of
your own way. Really, yes,

754
00:53:17.679 --> 00:53:21.480
oh gosh, yes, we all
need help doing that. We sure

755
00:53:21.559 --> 00:53:24.280
do, sure do. And so
we've got a little bit of time left.

756
00:53:24.840 --> 00:53:30.079
Is there one particular person from your
Unleash Sure Dream Career online interview series

757
00:53:30.119 --> 00:53:34.960
that you that you that you really
resonated with. Gosh, you know this

758
00:53:35.119 --> 00:53:37.960
particular round. I feel like I
got lit up by all twenty experts that

759
00:53:38.039 --> 00:53:44.360
I had. It would take too
long to name them all. Peter Fritz

760
00:53:44.679 --> 00:53:50.400
from Midlife Tribe down in Australia.
He specifically served midlife people who have who

761
00:53:50.440 --> 00:53:53.679
are trying to re arrange their lives
and have more happiness. Paula Morand is

762
00:53:53.719 --> 00:53:57.920
my publisher. She's the one who
inspired me to write Dreaming Big, being

763
00:53:57.920 --> 00:54:00.559
Bold and invited me to that opportunity. You, of course, with your

764
00:54:00.559 --> 00:54:07.880
identity work. Sharon Saylor talked about
body body language. Mary Shores talked about

765
00:54:07.880 --> 00:54:12.440
conscious communications. Yeah, I know, Mary Shores, how we can change

766
00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:15.880
that? That was really powerful.
I will tell you that I feel like

767
00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:20.400
I got every interview, I got
lit up by somebody different with a different

768
00:54:20.599 --> 00:54:24.519
viewpoint and perspective about how we can
change change how we function in our lives,

769
00:54:24.559 --> 00:54:30.039
to be literally the best version of
ourselves. Every minute great and great

770
00:54:30.039 --> 00:54:31.519
way to finish. We are out
of time. Diane, you are a

771
00:54:31.639 --> 00:54:37.679
treasure. I'm so glad we'd cross
paths. Appreciate knowing you listeners. If

772
00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:39.440
you want to get a hold of
Diane and just inquire as to how she

773
00:54:39.519 --> 00:54:43.880
might work with you. I really
encourage you to find her Diane really quick.

774
00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:47.000
How can they find you on Twitter
or via email? Twitter at Coach

775
00:54:47.159 --> 00:54:52.920
with Diane. The I a n
E. Instagram Coach with Diane email is

776
00:54:52.039 --> 00:54:58.679
Coach with Diane at Diane McClay dot
com And that's d I A n E

777
00:54:58.920 --> 00:55:04.159
mc c ay dot com. Great. Thank you and join us next week

778
00:55:04.199 --> 00:55:07.079
when we talk with David Perks a
pay compliment about how ongoing feedback can motivate

779
00:55:07.079 --> 00:55:12.079
employees and develop their careers around more
meaningful work. See you then, Remember

780
00:55:12.119 --> 00:55:14.480
that work is at least one third
of our life, so let's work on

781
00:55:14.519 --> 00:55:24.000
purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this
week's program. Be sure to tune into

782
00:55:24.119 --> 00:55:30.400
Working on Purpose featuring your host Elis
Cortes, every Wednesday at six pm Eastern

783
00:55:30.440 --> 00:55:35.039
Time three pm Pacific Time on the
Voice America Empowerment Channel. This week,

784
00:55:35.280 --> 00:55:37.360
find your life's purpose at work