Bringing Compassion to Cultures of Masculinity

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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential. Business can be

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such a force for good in the
world, elevating humanity. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want

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working on purpose. Now. Here
is your host, doctor Elise Cortes.

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Welcome back to the Working and Purpose
Program. Thanks retaining again this week.

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I'm your host, Doctor Release Cortes, donil from Dallas, Texas, which

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is home base for me. If
you don't know me yet, I'm a

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management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose, organization, lagotherapist, inspirational speaker,

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social scientist, and author. You
can learn more about me and how we

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can work together at Alicecartest dot com
or Gusto dashnow dot com. Let me

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thank my partner and sponsor work Proud. We are a perfect collaboration. Everyone

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wants to know they matter and that
the work they do is meaningful and appreciated.

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Work Crowd is a mobile platform built
to encourage employees to share stories and

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recognize each other's contribution. Work Crowd
empowers hr and business leaders to create company

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cultures where all employees are inspired to
feel proud of their work and proud of

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their company. Learn more at workproud
dot com. With us today is Sean

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Harvey, the Chief compassion Officer and
Compassionate Masculinity Guide at Simponia Men's Studio based

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in Washington, d C. Sean
is a contributing as as a writer,

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speaker consultant to an emerging narrative around
the next frontier of men's healing and transformation

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through compassionate masculinity and integrating compassion into
traditionally masculine systems and cultures. We'll be

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talking about his path to his own
purpose, why the world needs the work

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that he does today, and they're
working he does in service of his mission

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he dons today from Washington, d
C. Sean, Reverend Shawn, welcome

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to Working on Purpose. Thank you, Thank you at least, it's great

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to be here. It's amazing to
have you with me, and I am

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really looking forward to this juicy,
meaningful conversation. So glad I'm pass across.

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So to get us started here this
first segment, I really did want

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to talk more about really who you
are and how you became the person that

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you are. Many people want to
understand how can I discover my purpose?

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And so in this first part,
I hope that in your sharing, they'll

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start to be able to glean some
things for themselves by listening to you,

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to gain access to their own path. So let's talk about just what you

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set out to do professionally. I
mean, I know you have a bachelor's

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in industrial organizational psychology, a masters
in organizational development, I'm Masters in Education

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and counseling, and then you worked
as a consultant on Wall Street and for

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big media companies, and so this
is quite an interesting journey that you've been

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on, to say the least.
To say the least, you know,

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I pretty much played the game,
and so I turn I was heading up

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a consulting division for Wall Street clients. I was a college professor, and

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on my fortieth birthday, I had
had enough of trying to create magic happen

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in two hours. And also I
think I was just tired of the hyper

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masculine cultures that were predominated so many
organizations, and as a professor of management,

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I was studying a lot of them. And around the time that I

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left the firm, an opportunity came
along at Island Fisher the fact the women's

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fashion company and the entire business model
was based on the feminine, not just

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feminine leadership, but it was a
feminine energy company and it wasn't. It

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was an interesting place because it wasn't. The structures and systems didn't operate in

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a way that women were being asked
to act like men to succeed in business,

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but women were able to be in
the full expression of who they were

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to succeed in the organization, and
they did very well. And so it

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really as a systems thinker, I
just was experiencing one system and going to

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the other, going there's something radically
different here. And I think how I

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found my purpose was I ultimately became
the head of purpose, personal transformation and

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well being for the company. But
along the way I did probably five different

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purpose retreats in the company to discover
my own purpose, to look at my

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own limiting beliefs, to look at
my own shadow work, to look at

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my ego work, and to really
discover from my journey what I was called

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to do, and then at Armi
Fisher, I was also sent to an

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artist commune for five months in Canada
to learn how to incorporate the arts and

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to create a facilitation. And that
experience was also just transformational and got me

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more steeped in what my purpose and
call was. And when I started Armi

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Fisher, quite honestly, I went
there so I wouldn't have to work with

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men again. I loved Darling Fisher. Realizing I'm supposed to do work with

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men based on what I learned at
Arleen Fisher, I knew it was beyond

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my pay grade. So then I
went to seminary to get the spiritual grounding

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I needed to be able to hold
this work in the way it needs to

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be held. That was probably the
most beautiful and crisp rendition of a life

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that I think I've ever heard.
That is so beautiful. Thank you listeners

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and viewers. For those of you
who don't know who Island Fisher is,

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it's important that you recognize just who
this company is. So they are a

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B Corp women's clothing company with roughly
four hunder and twenty five million in annual

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revenue and twelve hundred employees across the
US, UK and Canada, and they

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are comprised of eighty three percent women
and subscribe fully and unapologetically to feminine leadership

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principles and practices. So what I
really appreciate is one how you found your

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way and that you actually did you
go knocking at Aileen Fisher's door? Did

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they find you? It seems a
little bit unlikely that the two of you

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would meet and want to marry,
if you will. So our sales guy

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at the firm I worked for,
said, Hey, I think you should

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check out this. I think you
should try to sell to this company called

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Alan Fisher. There's someone there I
think you connect with spiritually. And we

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hit it off and pretty much around
the time that I was. And the

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thing that was interesting was every time
I was trying to sell, because at

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the firm, I was really creating, developing creative solutions for our clients.

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So and I just kept trying to
sell these offerings and they're like, no,

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we're good, we already do that. Now we're good, we already

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do that. I mean, they
meditate. There's Tibetan singing bowls in every

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conference room, as every meeting starts
with a moment of silence and meditation.

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So if you have eight meetings a
day, you have eight minutes, you

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have eight moments of silence and meditation. And by the time I left that

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we'd just joking. I'm like,
I'm going to give you chime coaching now,

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so you can like allow the re
operation from the singing bowl to just

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do what it needs to do.
And so my friend that I was trying

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to sell to we had become friends, and she said, Hey, we're

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looking for an internal organization development partner. Do you know anyone that might be

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interested? And I said, you
know, honestly, I think I would.

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And so I applied, went on
an eight month interview process, and

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I got the job. But this
is I think this is the pivotal moment

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that transformed everything. It was the
first day of the job and my two

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bosses sat me down over lunch and
they said these words. They said,

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Sean, you have proven yourself in
the interview process. We now want you

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to stop proving yourself and learn to
be who you authentically are. Hm.

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We hired you. We saw when
you interviewed with us. We saw your

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heart, and we saw your Polish
as a New York City consultant management consultant.

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We hired you for your heart and
we want to see less of your

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Polish. We want to see you
unfiltered and unedited, and we're going to

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help you do that. Wow.
What an opportunity. Yeah, So,

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listeners and viewers, as you're listening
to this, I want you to really

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pay attention. This is a thought
leadership platform that's advancing the conversation on creating

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cultures where people thrive. Inspirational leaders
lead people to their greatness, and business

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is working in its highest impact.
And what we're what we're what you're experiencing

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seeing here is consciousness on the rise. And I really just want to showcase

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that that this whole notion of spirituality
in the workplace and all of these well

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being practices that Sean is starting to
refer to are becoming more of the norm

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of the forward thinking organization. So
I just really want to showcase just how

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amazing what you've done with your life
and where you landed and where that's taken

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you. It's it's phenomenal, it's
very inspiring. You know. I think

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one thing that you know, just
to kind of take the point one step

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further, so pat Alian Fisher,
as part of our wellness offerings, we

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had access to a Kasta records readers, medical intuitives, astrologers as part of

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our enriched well be And so for
those who don't know, so I ended

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up seeing an acastac reader probably on
a quarterly it's not bi annual basis.

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And for those who don't know what
an acastak reader is, it's basically someone

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who channels or can connect with the
spiritual guides and they're really telling you how

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you're in alignment or out of alignment
with your soul contract and really looking at

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your soul DNA. So I think
to take the idea of spirituality in the

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workplace to that degree of how are
you aligned head heart and spiritually in the

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workplace or head, heart and spirit
That integration and the permission to be able

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to have deep and rich conversations and
exploration of that makes you a whole person.

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You know. That's as you know, totally speaking my language. So

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thank you for sharing that. So
you had mentioned in our first exchange,

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I think that you said there were
like five experiences that you went through Allen

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Fisher that really helped stewards your path
to purpose. I know we can't talk

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about all of them maybe, but
it was that was part of that,

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was that one of your experiences that
helped I would say, yeah, I

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think the working with a kastup reader, doing the purpose workshops and working with

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our my mentor at Eileen Fisher,
who was a consultant named Marcelo out of

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Brazil who worked with Ken Welber and
out of Sharmer, and so we had

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a lot of Ken Welber and Auto
Sharma influence in the organization and along with

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Federick lu and really as we were
moving to a more conscious organization like those

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were the thought leaders that were really
in the orbit at the organization. Wow

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four front. That is amazing.
Well share with us if you will,

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Sean, because again, so many
of our listeners are just they're so hungry

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to discover their purpose and they're working
at it, and you know they are

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looking for ways to be able to
activate it. So you've gone through and

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done a lot of work on your
shadows, on your ego, and you've

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done a lot of these experiences that
came through Island Fisher, Will you share

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maybe one or two of them and
just how they helped you. What did

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you do and how did they help
you? Yeah, I think one of

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the things that we looked at and
the purpose work. I think so much

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of it comes down to the purpose
work that we did, and part of

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it was part of the experience,
was to look at are on that needs

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and to understand what on that needs
we had from childhood and how they're still

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playing out for us in our adulthood. Yeah. No, So that examination

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we did. But then I think, you know, when we really go

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to the place of where where are
shame and discomfort is that's often the place

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where our purpose lies. And so
when we can go to that place of

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discomfort and go into it with courage
and go into it. And for me,

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so much of it was my fear
of men, so much of them.

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It was my fear of not living
up to the masculine idea. So

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much of it was not being considered
man enough. So much of it was

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how I was as a gay man, you know, positioning and posturing myself

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so I could be acceptable and within
that, living in that mask. How

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much I was living, you know, and quite honestly, the way I

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was living, I had an amazing
resume I knew that my validity, my

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validation as a man, could come
from my credentials, my education and the

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jobs that I took. So I
was very conscious of that. But then

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when you look at my personal life, it was anemic, you know,

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the inability to have of close relationships, having a dating life that was always

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and couputs, and just you know, living to work as opposed to working

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to live. And so I think
that that imbalance was an indicator. I

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remember going into to talk to our
well instructor, but Olie Fisher. I

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was like, why do we have
to have life and we can have work.

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It's all about you know, it's
coming from Wall Street. Eighty hour

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weeks are amazing, you know,
and she just looked at me with this

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love and compassion, just and basically
this look of like, dear boy,

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you will learn. And over the
five years I really learned what that integration

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meant, and that to live a
life on purpose does not mean sacrificing your

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life. Doesn't mean that when you
follow the call, that you can't have

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a meaningful life outside of the work
you do. Yet there's a blending between

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the work to do and the work
you're called to do. As a meeting

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you worked a researcher. I did
discover that I found these fifteen modes of

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engagement. And there's lots of ways
to be able to live our purpose and

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express it, but one of them
is it's called living your purpose. And

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so it's just sort of this thread
where it's just you and the work are

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sort of inseparable, and you it's
just who you are in the world,

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and you do it in service of
others. And so somewhere in there,

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Sean, you made this realization that
you went to Island Fisher because you didn't

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want to work with men anymore,
but someone made the realization that you needed

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to be able to help men somehow. So you tell if you would do

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two things for is help us understand
how you emerged, what was happening at

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Island Fisher, to help you arrive
at that point, and then I like

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to hear how you are to help
your purpose today. You mentioned in the

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beginning, but maybe it'll be different
as a statement. I think there were

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probably three moments where really kind of
became a crystal clear. The first was

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five years ago. I was in
Barcelona and I was on vacation, having

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a miserable vacation in Barcelona because I
didn't know what to do on vacation.

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No, it is okay, I'm
going to go back and in relive that

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experience. But I got the message
when I was in Barcelona that as men,

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we've not been socialized to socialize in
healthy ways. And that just kept

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like following me around when I was
at Island, when I was living in

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Barcelona, then when I was doing
the Purpose work with Marcelo, it kind

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of it just kept coming through.
But it was when I really declared it.

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I was it was the first weekend
of the being in the artist Commune

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when I got clear, like this
is the work, and then everything started

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to fall into place. But it
was when I, you know, I

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think at Alan Fisher, what I
started noticing was I noticed how all the

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experiences I was just being transformed into
a better version of myself. I was

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more comfortable in my own skin,
I was feeling transformed, I was happier,

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my relationships were starting to gel and
I started to have a life.

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But it was when I started asking
other men in the company, you know,

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because like you said, it's an
eighty three percent women, so the

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seventeen percent of us, and most
of the men in the company were either

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working in IT and the distribution center
some and throughout the fashion but kind of

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more of the more traditional world,
right. But I would ask these guys,

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I'm like, so yo, I'm
I feel like I'm changing, I'm

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transforming. Are you experiencing this?
And the way it would come through for

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them, I was like, they'd
be like, yeah, you know,

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my wife said that I listened differently, or that I'm more patient, or

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I stopped needing to be right all
the time, and I started to get

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more curious and ask more questions.
I started to be more comfortable with nuanced

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conversation, and with nuance, I
started to have more access to my emotional

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expression and I was able to and
I noticed that my creativity was shifting and

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evolved. It was able to be
more more creative and more ideas and I

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could idate differently. And I think
we all were saying, you know,

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when we when women are able to
be their full selves in an environment like

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this, it automatically gives men permission
to come into their full selves. So

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the more that we can create this
equity for women to truly not fit into

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a model that's been forced upon them, but for them to come into their

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authenticity. And for those who are
don't identify as male or female or in

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the non binary or gender fluid.
You know, organizations that really embrace the

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full person that's ultimately going to allow
men to come into a different level of

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freedom and liberation for themselves, which
they can unlock the power dynamics that then

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allow more non male find humans to
be able to take creatter roles of influence.

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Beautiful Sean, let's let that set
in for just a while here for

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our listeners and viewers, grab our
first break. I'm doctor Leise Cortes.

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We've been on the air with Sean
Harvey, the chief compassion Officer and Compassionate

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Masculinity guide at Simponium Men's Studio based
in Washington, d C. We've been

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talking about his path to purpose.
After the break, we're going to get

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into why the world needs the work
that he's doing. Stay with us,

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we'll be right back. Doctor Elise
Cortes is a management consultant specializing in meaning

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and purpose and inspirational speaker and author. She helps companies visioneer for greater purpose

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among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

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performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite Elise

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to speak to your organization, please
visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's

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talk about how to get your employees
working on purpose. This is working on

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Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To
reach our program today or open a conversation

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with Alise, send an email to
Elise Alise at elisecortes dot com. Now

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back to working on purpose. Thanks
for staying with us, and welcome back

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to working on purpose. As eyewatch
the pandemic continue on, we look for

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ways to help companies support their employees
handle anxiety, stress, depression, and

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00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:40.759
feeling disconnected, while also helping lift
and inspire them with ongoing professional development.

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00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:45.359
So we now offer a well being
learning webinar series called Grab your Gusto Vital

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00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:48.200
Wellbeing from the inside Out. You
can learn more about it at a leasecore

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test dot com or send me an
email to elease at leastcore test dot com

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if you're just joining the program.
My guest is Sean Harvey, the Chief

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Compassion Officer and Compassionate Masculinity Guide at
Simponius Men's Studio, based in Washington,

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d C. Is contributing as a
writer, speaker, and consultant to an

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emerging narrative around the next frontier of
mints healing and transformation through compassionate masculinity and

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integrating compassion into traditionally masculine systems and
cultures. I'm your host, doctor Les

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Cortes. So for this next segment
here, Sean, I want to get

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into you know, what you see
in the world and why you think that

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that the work you're doing is so
important. So one of the great things

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about purpose, and you know this, is it gives us, when we

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stand on our own purpose, a
very unique lens that only we can use

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to be able to see what's missing
or needed in the world that we could

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solve. So if you would start
by sharing your perspective on what's happening in

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our world today that provokes and makes
your work with compassion so important, you

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know. So the name of the
company Simplonia some Pronia, here's the great

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word for compassion. I didn't know
that compassion basically compassionate Men Studio, and

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and I think when I was thinking
about my company and I launched January of

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twenty nineteen, when I was thinking
about it, I think we were in

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the middle of a healthcare debate and
I was like, you know, with

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the politicians, and I'm like,
where's the compassion in this process? You

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know? And then I started thinking
about the thing that's most needed in organizations

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is compassion. And when we talk
about woke culture, there's often a lot

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of judgment in it. It's like, where's the compassion? Where are we

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honoring people in their journeys? And
now a lot of my work is with

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police, military, and federal law
enforcement. There's a whole opportunity for work

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around compassion in those spaces, both
among the agencies, the departments, and

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the officers and the agents, as
well as the communities that are served.

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And so how are we holding how
we're holding our organizational systems from this place

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of love and compassion, you know, And I think at the root of

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and I think compassion is such a
beautiful entry pointed to so much of this

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work because it can land, it
can move between the secular and the spiritual

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and speak to everyone. And so
but there's a real there's there's an opportunity

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when we come and you know,
in the way I define compassion is the

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awareness and the response to preventing suffering
for ourselves and others. Well, last

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week, sorry Sean, please go, I was going to add in that

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to that. In last week my
guest was doctor Arthur CEA McCaulay, who

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has written a book called America Reunited, where essentially he's he's putting forth this

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and I'd like to say these are
his doctor's orders, because he's a clinical

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psychologist, that what we really needed
in our divide is empathy and the ability

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to be able to sit and listen
with curiosity versus throwing barbs of hatred and

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judgment. And you know, where
are where are? Why? Why?

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How? When did we lose the
ability to actually have discourse and to learn?

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So I think there are so many
applications to the work that you're doing.

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And I realize that you've launched only
just a couple of years ago,

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which is phenomenal what you've already done. But I am curious when you're out

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talking to people who maybe don't know
you and you tell them your title and

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the work that you're doing, I'd
love to hear the general range of responses

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that you get. You know,
I've been talking about this for five years.

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I want to say one thing though, before I go there. There's

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often such an association with compassion as
something that's soft or weak, and that's

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why I think we need to bring
the masculinity conversation in, because I think

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there's so much in the narrative of
masculinity that defines how we look at compassion

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and the soft skills. And yet
if we understand the roots of why we

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think the way we think, we
can actually start to see compassion from a

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place of strength that only strengthens our
masculinity. So that's why I always see

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when we can bridge and I often, you know, when I was a

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professor as a consultant, when I
can bridge juxtaposed ideas like compassion and masculinity

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into one place, it becomes a
conversation starter. I've been talking about this

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for five years, and quite honestly, not one person has objected to what

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I've said. I haven't gotten the
pushback. I've gotten cynical questions like how

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does this work, especially when I
was just starting out in the conversation and

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a little more clumsy, But I
haven't gotten people like objecting, And I

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think part of that is, we
hear so much about toxic masculinity and healthy

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masculinity, healthy masculinity. We we're
basically operating from a duelistic perspective that there

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is a right, wrong, good, bad, right. But if we

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are embracing our full humanity, we
embrace our essence and our shadowt masculinity is

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a construct that's outside of us,
yet so many of us have internalized it

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as a reflection of us. It's
really what holds social conditioning that tells us

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our shoulds, who we should be, how we should show up, and

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what we have access to in terms
of the energies we can express and how

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it frames the way we look at
our gender, identity and expression. But

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if we're able to take a step
back and say, this is just a

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construct, and if we can embrace
the construct for its essence and its shadow

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fully, and it's a thing,
and we wrap it in compassion, what

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does it do to that thing?
Right? And So I think when I'm

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talking about compassion and masculinity's coming from
a place of love, not judgment.

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It's coming from a place that the
masculine. So I think in some ways

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historically we've demonized the feminine and now
I think we're in an age where we're

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demonizing the masculine. Yes, And
in reality, it's not about being in

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one direction or the other. It's
really what does it look like for each

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of us to embody an integration of
both in a more balanced way. And

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when we're able to do that,
when we're out of balance, it's not

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are you good, bad, right, or wrong? A question I always

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ask is what's the cost? What's
the cost if you can't tap into your

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feminine energy, which is your nurturing, carrying aside? What's the cost if

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you can't tap into your masculine which
is going to be where you get things

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done, where you move things forward, where you have structure, you know.

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And it's like we the more we're
able to be in this balance,

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the more we have an agility to
dance in our own humanity and respond to

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the situation that situations coming to us
in a way that just makes us makes

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us more whole, more human,
and more mature. Oh and that's exactly

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why for years I've been attracted to
and drawing for that very reason, because

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to me, it represents the possibility
of being whole and complete and expressing all

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of ourselves and drawing from both traditionally
idealistic notions of femininity and masculinity. So,

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I mean, I can't even explain
to you how long my fast nature

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has been with that here it comes. It's just the way you expressed it

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so beautifully, that wholeness and completeness
and authenticity. It's beautiful. Thank you.

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Yeah. So, one of the
things I think is really interesting about

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you is that you are out to
help very masculine or as you say,

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hyper masculine environments and cultures to develop
compassion. So I'm interested in what kinds

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of organizations are good prospects for you. You already mentioned that. I think

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you said you were working with military
and police. I didn't catch what else,

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But what other organizations are good prospects
that maybe in listening to this they

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didn't quite recognize that they were something
a good prospect to work with you.

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I think in reality, ninety percent
of all organizational systems and institutions are based

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on a masculine model. Yeah,
and those masks of the models don't allow

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haven't allowed for the feminine expression.
And we're starting to see hr practices that

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embody this. We just don't talk. We just don't call it, you

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know, coming from the feminine,
but in reality, we're trying to a

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lot of times we're creating policies and
procedures that are band aids on environments that

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are competitive, environments that are very
results driven, that are very quantifiable,

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and don't really account for the human
experience. You know, they're based on

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productivity, not as much on the
human experience. And even as we move

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into this idea of humans that are
workplace design, the question I always have

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is, you know, that's an
amazing concept, but are we really shifting

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the systems and the policies in a
way that allow for someone to come into

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their full power, from their authentic
being into an organization and be accepted and

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be appreciated, or are we going
to say they're not a cultural fit.

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And so I think it's very I
think right now we're in a period where

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we're trying to figure this out.
There's a lot of well intentioned ideas and

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there are practices that work. The
question is how deep are we going in

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terms of really reshaping organizations and rethinking
them, and can organizational systems be redesigned

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in a more integrated way, a
more inclusive way, a more conscious way,

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a more compassionate way that allows us
to be connected in new ways.

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Well, we're having this conversation,
you and I in June of twenty twenty

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one, and there is research out
there today that says that about fifty percent

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of the workforce it leads to North
America plans to change jobs this year.

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And part of that is just due
to the pent up frustration and rest system

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being in pandemic. Some of it
has to do with not feeling connected to

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their company, much of an ass
to do with not feeling valued and appreciate

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it. And then you have this
whole notion of what's called the Great resignation

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that's happening out there where people if
there was a that the pandemic has really

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started to showcase why the work that
we do, that we do in the

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way we do it is not working. So in my view, now,

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right now is a perfect time to
have a conversation about how can we look

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at our cultures and the way that
we treat and manage our people to bring

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in more of this compassion because it
will make them lunch, to stay longer

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and give more of their all versus
voting with their feet. Yeah, you

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know, I've been in VC for
about nine weeks now. Since coming here,

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I've been asked to do this work. Bring compassion and masculinity into police

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departments, federal law enforcement, like
I said, military, to work with

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white, straight evangelical men, to
work with black men from historically black colleges

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and universities, to work with aeronautical
corporations in aerospace, and now to work

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with the NFL. And so I
think there's a need. And you know,

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I know when I talk to folks
and NGOs, when I talk to

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people in the government, when I
talk to people and startups, there's still

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an opportunity to rethink how we're considering
organization design, how we're thinking about the

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00:31:25.640 --> 00:31:30.200
systems, and how we're thinking about
the leadership practices that move from this place

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of fear based control to compassion based
empowerment. How beautiful. So before we

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go into our next segment here,
I think this makes sense at this point

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here, Now, if you would
say a little bit about your soul's calling

408
00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:48.480
and at your core, why you
do this work, and of course how

409
00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:51.119
your journey has led you to it, you've kind of sprink them along through

410
00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:53.839
our conversation. But now if you
could bring it together for us so we

411
00:31:53.880 --> 00:32:00.279
can thread it all through and see
what it really is. So this was

412
00:32:00.279 --> 00:32:02.720
not this was not the plan of
my parents. I was supposed to be.

413
00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:07.920
I was supposed to be a third
third generation long haul trucker and I

414
00:32:08.359 --> 00:32:16.640
just grew up. And you mentioned
androgyny, and so probably from like seven,

415
00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:24.160
like probably yeah, I mean probably
from like seven to about twelve years

416
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:30.680
old, maybe thirteen, I was
pretty androgynous. People couldn't tell if I

417
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:32.680
was a boy or girl. Often
people thought I was a girl, and

418
00:32:32.759 --> 00:32:37.160
I had so much shame around that
I wouldn't even I wouldn't even like correct

419
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:39.279
them. So it wasn't even like
I was choosing to be gender food.

420
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:45.359
It was like androgyny had chosen me, and I was living from that perspective.

421
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:49.799
So I think I've been part of
this conversation exploration since I was very

422
00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:53.640
young, very conscious of it.
And then I came out as gay,

423
00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:58.799
a gay man when I was fifteen. I started a gain les being youth

424
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:00.319
group for the city of dayton O
High when I was sixteen, which still

425
00:33:00.359 --> 00:33:07.960
exists today, and often that was
my barometer making career decisions over time,

426
00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:12.240
was what was that thing I did
at sixteen. That was when my heart

427
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:17.160
was flush with possibility and I was
creating and ide eating and creating something.

428
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:27.359
It still exists today thirty one years
later. And then I went off to

429
00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:30.440
college, and I thought I was
going to study corporate finance and work on

430
00:33:30.480 --> 00:33:35.960
Wall Street as a Wall Street dude, and I ended up studying industrial and

431
00:33:36.079 --> 00:33:39.680
organizational psychology, and then just in
my path went in that direction. But

432
00:33:39.759 --> 00:33:49.440
I think studying organizational change first,
being a professor and teaching for ten years,

433
00:33:49.799 --> 00:33:53.359
working on Wall Street and working in
fashion and going to a seminary,

434
00:33:55.039 --> 00:34:00.640
being a gay activist back in the
day, I just think so many of

435
00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:06.039
these things gave me some some perspectives, and I just think it's it's it's

436
00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:12.519
it still blows me away that I'm
talking to, you know, cops and

437
00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:20.719
FBI agents and former FDI agents and
military folks and marines and about compassions as

438
00:34:20.760 --> 00:34:27.159
a queer man doing this and and
and they're listening, you know. And

439
00:34:27.239 --> 00:34:31.480
someone someone from Quantico said to me
recently, you know, he said,

440
00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:37.719
with the police work. He said, Sean, you're not. He had

441
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:40.199
listened to me for two and a
half hours, and like this was sort

442
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:44.039
of a test, right, like, how is he going to receive this?

443
00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:46.920
You know? And he said,
I can't object to anything you've just

444
00:34:46.960 --> 00:34:52.119
said. Nothing that you said is
off putting to me. He said,

445
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:59.880
you're not training cops to be better
cops, You're developing officers into better humans.

446
00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:04.239
Who can argue with that? And
I think when we take when we

447
00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:07.559
take everything's going on in the world
right, and we take the division,

448
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:15.440
and we take the the the perceptions, and we take the problems. Yet

449
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:19.159
when we take someone back to their
core humanity and say we give you permission

450
00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:23.599
to be human, I think that's
what opens the door to all the other

451
00:35:23.719 --> 00:35:28.800
change. And we're trying to create
the change without getting people to come into

452
00:35:28.840 --> 00:35:31.679
their humanness, and we're not seeing
each other human to human, soul to

453
00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:37.599
soul, And I think that's where
we lose out on actually trying to create

454
00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:42.639
the bridges that we need to create
to innovate and solve the challenges that are

455
00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:47.119
in front of us. And we're
trying to force upon you have to change

456
00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:52.880
so that this can work, as
opposed to come into your own heart,

457
00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:57.039
come into your own and your own
relationship with with love, self love,

458
00:35:57.719 --> 00:36:00.679
and then ask how you love others. When you're in that frame of mind

459
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:06.000
and you take the judgment out and
the rightness out and the righteousness out of

460
00:36:06.039 --> 00:36:08.239
it, then you have an opportunity
to say, so, now, what's

461
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:13.159
possible in our connection when we can
see each other in this more soulful,

462
00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:19.639
more human, and more humane way. And with that, I'm going to

463
00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:22.559
take us into our last break.
So listeners and viewers, IE would just

464
00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:24.559
reflect a bit on what Sean said
about his journey and how fast, how

465
00:36:24.599 --> 00:36:29.079
far back you could trace it back. I'm your host, Doctor Release Cortes.

466
00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:30.920
We've been on the air with Sean
Harvey, the Chief compassion Officer and

467
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:36.039
Compassionate Masculinity Guide at Simponia and Studio
based in Washington, d C. We've

468
00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:37.800
been talking about his path to purpose. After the break, we're going to

469
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:40.280
talk about the work that he does
and how it makes a difference. Stay

470
00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:45.719
with us, We'll be right back. Doctor Release Cortes is a management consultant

471
00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:52.000
specializing in meaning and purpose and inspirational
speaker and author. She helps companies visioneer

472
00:36:52.119 --> 00:36:58.840
for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop
purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that

473
00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:05.360
elevate fulfillment performance and commitment within the
workforce. To learn more or to invite

474
00:37:05.360 --> 00:37:09.039
Elise to speak to your organization,
please visit her at elisecortes dot com.

475
00:37:09.360 --> 00:37:21.480
Let's talk about how to get your
employees working on purpose. This is Working

476
00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:24.920
on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes.
To reach our program today or open a

477
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:32.639
conversation with Alise, send an email
to Aleise Alise at elisecortes dot com.

478
00:37:32.760 --> 00:37:43.639
Now back to working on Purpose.
Thanks for staying with us, and welcome

479
00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:45.639
back to Working on Purpose. I
mentioned after the first break about the Grab

480
00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:51.079
your gusta wellbeing with our learning series. The content of that program came from

481
00:37:51.159 --> 00:37:54.199
the part one of my recently published
book called Purpose Ignited, How Inspiring Leaders

482
00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:58.559
ignite passion and elev a Cause,
which is now avable on Amazon. I

483
00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:01.119
wrote that book to awaken reader to
their passion and purpose and help transform them

484
00:38:01.159 --> 00:38:06.119
into inspirational leaders who enlive in the
workplace and elevate the contribution of the business

485
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:08.920
to all stakeholders. So that's where
the content came from. You're just joining

486
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:13.800
us my guest today from Washington,
DC as Sean Harvey of the Simponia Men's

487
00:38:13.800 --> 00:38:16.480
Study is also contributing as a writer, speaker, and consultant to an emerging

488
00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:22.280
narrative around the next frontier of men's
healing and transformation through compassionate masculinity and integrating

489
00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:28.360
compassion into traditionally masculine systems and cultures. I'm your host, doctor Lee's Cortes.

490
00:38:29.320 --> 00:38:31.440
So for this last bit of time
together here, Sean, I wanted

491
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:35.239
to get into some of the work
that you do so our listeners and viewers

492
00:38:35.239 --> 00:38:37.920
can better understand how they might access
you and how you might be able to

493
00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:44.039
help them. So you describe your
work at Simponia as a leadership institute dedicated

494
00:38:44.039 --> 00:38:47.599
to helping the next generation of compassion
centered bridge builders, facilitators, leaders and

495
00:38:47.719 --> 00:38:53.239
change makers equipped to form authentic and
purpose driven communities, innovate collaboratively, redefine

496
00:38:53.320 --> 00:38:57.920
leadership model models, reimagine systems and
structure, and transform cultures. That's just

497
00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:01.320
awesome work. Would you just say
a little bit about the kind of work

498
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:05.800
that you're principally doing. What are
you principally focused on? Obviously men and

499
00:39:05.880 --> 00:39:15.519
cultures. So you know, I
thought about this, who's my audience and

500
00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:22.039
I guess these days it's twos your
avatar And to create the scale that I'm

501
00:39:22.119 --> 00:39:27.440
envisioning this really is working with that
level. You talked about what I consider

502
00:39:27.480 --> 00:39:35.000
the lever points. So I'm not
really the guy for everyone. I typically

503
00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:37.159
work with the facilitators, the bridge
builders, the change makers, and the

504
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:45.000
leaders who can create scale. If
the message can come to them, then

505
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.719
it can go into the systems that
they operate in. And so then bringing

506
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:57.119
in a compassion center so inspired approach
and bringing people into that deeper level of

507
00:39:57.119 --> 00:40:01.400
consciousness. What I found is that's
where I've been and now when I bring

508
00:40:01.440 --> 00:40:06.599
it to the work with men,
it's really still operating at that level.

509
00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:13.480
And the intellectual part, the compassionate
part, and the soulful part are so

510
00:40:13.639 --> 00:40:17.079
intertwined I can't tease them out,
and so it just comes through. And

511
00:40:17.079 --> 00:40:22.239
I think it's it's part of what
comes through on the flow to really I

512
00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:28.039
think all these pieces of them building
blocks to be able to create experiences.

513
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:34.840
Now, so studios studios are basically
retreats. It's just that there's something about

514
00:40:35.159 --> 00:40:38.920
the language I use our boot camp, so Compassion boot Camp, Compassion and

515
00:40:38.920 --> 00:40:45.039
Masculinity Lab, and a men's studio, so really an introduction into compassion,

516
00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:51.320
the play of more of like a
lab of how do we experiment and play

517
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:54.960
with compassion and masculinity, how do
they work, and how do we how

518
00:40:55.000 --> 00:41:01.079
do we move from experiencing compassion to
expressing compassion, and then how do we

519
00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:06.880
do the deeper inner work in the
studio that allows us to really come into

520
00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:13.280
our wholeness? You know. Then
there's another piece of the work that's been

521
00:41:13.400 --> 00:41:16.199
really near and dear to me,
and I think is so it's part of

522
00:41:16.239 --> 00:41:21.079
my journey. I think it's a
struggle for so many men, which is

523
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:28.079
retreats for men on the relationship to
love, sex and intimacy, because I

524
00:41:28.079 --> 00:41:30.760
believe that if we want to be
true bridge builders, we have to get

525
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:35.480
in a relationship with our own ability
to be in like intimacy with ourselves and

526
00:41:35.519 --> 00:41:38.480
others, because in so many ways
we're often disconnected. And the way I

527
00:41:38.519 --> 00:41:44.599
often describe it is, you know, for so many of us, there's

528
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:49.079
the intimacy that we desire and end
for. There's a love that we often

529
00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:53.960
misunderstand, and there's the sex that
we settle for and we often get them

530
00:41:54.039 --> 00:41:59.800
confused, and it often creates a
lot of turmoil for us as we're figuring

531
00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:07.159
out how to have healthy relationships healthy
families and to find our partners and so,

532
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:10.159
and that all translates them into how
we create friendships. You know,

533
00:42:10.199 --> 00:42:15.960
the statistics that I've seen and study
often says men stop making friends at thirty

534
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:20.639
five, and often they will take
on the friends of their wives or their

535
00:42:20.639 --> 00:42:29.239
significant others. And so that factor
of loneliness disconnection is so profound, and

536
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:35.920
there's often not the coping skills for
men to be able to get there get

537
00:42:35.920 --> 00:42:40.239
those needs met. So that's often
where we then go into these issues of

538
00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:45.920
alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide,
sex addiction, porn addiction, whatever that

539
00:42:46.039 --> 00:42:51.679
may be, is finding the coping
mechanism that's going to work for us,

540
00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:55.519
but it's like it's still not leading
us into healthier ways of being that actually

541
00:42:55.559 --> 00:43:02.800
give us a fulfilling life. That
was a beautiful rendition of what you're addressing

542
00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:06.400
and how you're lifting. And one
of the reasons I keep hosting the show,

543
00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.199
Sean after six years, I think
your episode umber three hundred and thirty

544
00:43:08.239 --> 00:43:12.840
one is because I continue to learn
from my guests. They teach me,

545
00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:16.519
they elevate me. So the conceptual
part of the show is really important because

546
00:43:16.519 --> 00:43:21.159
it's the educational inspiration component. But
now if you would. Next, I

547
00:43:21.159 --> 00:43:23.159
asked you to think a little bit
about an example of a group that you've

548
00:43:23.199 --> 00:43:27.960
worked with and helped, so that
our listeners and viewers can understand, you

549
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.800
know, who are you working with, Why did they think they want to

550
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:34.280
work with you, because we know
sometimes why it becomes different along the way,

551
00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:38.239
and what were the results, what
was different afterwards? Yeah, you

552
00:43:38.280 --> 00:43:45.920
know all the most recently, so
at the beginning of the pandemic, I

553
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:52.599
started something called Facilitator Edge, which
was creating a space for facilitators because I

554
00:43:52.719 --> 00:43:55.920
when I saw, you know,
we were going into this pandemic, and

555
00:43:55.960 --> 00:44:00.079
I was like, well, every
facilitator around the world just had their their

556
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:06.280
their world rock because they can't facilitate
in person events and meanings. Right,

557
00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:10.000
It's like there's that they either have
to learn zoom. They were losing contracts,

558
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:14.639
and because that's that's part of my
community, I said, you know,

559
00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:19.360
maybe there's an opportunity, and so
I created something called Facilitator Edge,

560
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:24.239
which was a weekly conversation for facilitators, and it was really how do we

561
00:44:24.440 --> 00:44:30.000
create meaningful connection in virtual spaces?
How do we continue to keep our communities

562
00:44:30.039 --> 00:44:35.840
thriving in the virtual world? And
how do we need to evolve to hold

563
00:44:35.880 --> 00:44:39.320
the space. And really it's as
we see the crumbling systems around us,

564
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:44.880
the systems that are being dismantled,
we haven't rebuilt them. So we're kind

565
00:44:44.920 --> 00:44:51.840
of in this this this this place
of unknowing right now as facilitators. How

566
00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:54.519
do we hold the space for the
unknowing and how how do we get in

567
00:44:54.559 --> 00:45:00.519
touch with our own ability to surrender
and flow and not knowing and being in

568
00:45:00.559 --> 00:45:13.000
the emergent. And so we we
did that for about a year and we

569
00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:17.519
reached five hundred and seventy five facilitators
from fifteen countries. Wow, having just

570
00:45:17.719 --> 00:45:22.760
you know, just through LinkedIn and
just you know, connections, and then

571
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:28.360
there were people that just kept continuing
with me and that morphed into you know,

572
00:45:28.400 --> 00:45:31.880
I became a minister, an interfake
minister last June, so it's actually

573
00:45:31.920 --> 00:45:37.239
a year ago this week. I
became an interfaith minister and I then launched

574
00:45:37.239 --> 00:45:43.159
something called Soulful Facilitation. How do
we bring soul into the spaces that we

575
00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:45.960
hold and how do we create sacred
space and how do we start to move

576
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:51.480
from tools, techniques and strategies into
the surrender of art and ceremony, and

577
00:45:51.519 --> 00:45:58.320
now with Men's Work, it'll be
art ceremony and initiation and a ritual ceremony

578
00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:05.800
and initiation. And so that those
conversations then led to a training program that

579
00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:12.679
I do called the Soul Facilitator Intensive
And really I think it was this blend

580
00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:21.119
of facilitators coming into a more deeper
sense of themselves, relaxing the ego,

581
00:46:21.639 --> 00:46:24.119
getting off the script, and the
ability to flow with the energy of the

582
00:46:24.159 --> 00:46:30.519
space. And this thing that I
often say is facilitators. Contrary to popular

583
00:46:30.559 --> 00:46:36.679
belief, the more invisible we become
as facilitators, the more powerful the containers

584
00:46:36.679 --> 00:46:39.159
we create, because we make it
less about us. And it's that dance

585
00:46:39.199 --> 00:46:44.519
of we're often intelligent human beings.
We don't need to tell people how smart

586
00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:49.840
we are, and we can actually
just let the embodiment of our ability to

587
00:46:49.880 --> 00:46:55.199
hold that space showcase our ability.
And so it's the dance of the ego.

588
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:01.960
And so that's really been transforming.
And now I've been one foot in

589
00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:07.159
and one foot out with the Men's
Work for the last five years and definitely

590
00:47:07.199 --> 00:47:08.599
for the last two and a half
years. Out of fear, out of

591
00:47:08.599 --> 00:47:14.079
scarcity, out of this has been
practical I should do something more practical and

592
00:47:14.119 --> 00:47:19.679
more mainstream. But the way the
spiritual journey works and the way the spiritual

593
00:47:19.679 --> 00:47:22.920
call works is you can run away, but you can't hide because it's going

594
00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:24.679
to find you, that's going to
keep reminding you that this is your work.

595
00:47:25.760 --> 00:47:29.800
And so now I'm one hundred percent
all in on the men's work,

596
00:47:29.840 --> 00:47:34.239
and so I don't have as many
stories to tell because this is really and

597
00:47:34.360 --> 00:47:39.000
it's it's infancy. It's been conceptualizing, and I've been doing my own work

598
00:47:39.320 --> 00:47:44.960
to be able to hold the work
in the ways that it needs to and

599
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:51.800
I'm settling into the comfort of knowing
that and knowing that now I'm ready to

600
00:47:52.920 --> 00:47:55.599
in some ways walk into the lions
Den and really hold these conversations and hold

601
00:47:55.639 --> 00:48:00.480
the healing, the possibility and the
transformation to men to come, for men

602
00:48:00.519 --> 00:48:05.440
to come into their best selves without
trying to hold a gender that it needs

603
00:48:05.440 --> 00:48:09.599
to look like anything other than what
is authentic to them. It liberates them

604
00:48:09.679 --> 00:48:16.760
into their their full possibility and into
their full humanity. That is a fantastic

605
00:48:16.760 --> 00:48:21.559
way to finish, Sean. What
a beautiful, beautiful narration rendition, And

606
00:48:21.599 --> 00:48:23.960
it's completely palpable that you're in that
space, that journey, and I'm so

607
00:48:24.079 --> 00:48:28.280
happy to know you. I'm so
happy to share you with our listeners across

608
00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:31.199
the globe who need your message in
your work desperately. And I want to

609
00:48:31.199 --> 00:48:35.079
thank you very much for saying yes
to being on the show and yes to

610
00:48:35.159 --> 00:48:38.039
sharing so beautifully. Thank you,
thank you for having me. You're so

611
00:48:38.119 --> 00:48:40.840
welcome, listeners and viewers. If
you want to learn more about Sean and

612
00:48:40.880 --> 00:48:45.719
the work that he's doing, it's
easiest just to start to go to simponiamen

613
00:48:45.960 --> 00:48:49.480
dot com. Let me spell that
for you, s Y M P O

614
00:48:49.679 --> 00:48:57.159
N I A M O N yes
m O a ian amien emyan dot com,

615
00:48:57.239 --> 00:49:00.079
simponian dot com, simponionman dot com. Sorry, I want to make

616
00:49:00.079 --> 00:49:04.360
sure you can find them. And
he just created this fresh as well,

617
00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:07.440
so it's just got some branding information
on and lots of resources and things that

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00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:10.079
he can share with you. Thanks
again to our partnering sponsor work Proud,

619
00:49:10.079 --> 00:49:14.880
which helps companies build a platform where
your workforce receives medingqual feedback, and thanks

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00:49:14.920 --> 00:49:17.280
for the work from people across your
company last week. If you missed the

621
00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:20.800
live show, you can always catch
it recorded podcast. We were on the

622
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:23.400
air with doctor Arthur CERA McCauley,
a fourth time guest, this time talking

623
00:49:23.440 --> 00:49:28.760
about his latest book, America Reunited, a relational solution to bridging the political,

624
00:49:28.840 --> 00:49:31.239
social, and personal chasm dividing our
nation. Next week will be on

625
00:49:31.280 --> 00:49:36.480
air with Frank Calderoni, who is
the chairman and CEO of ANAPAN and the

626
00:49:36.519 --> 00:49:40.960
author of Upstanding, How Company Character
Catalyzes Loyalty, Agility and Hypergrowth, in

627
00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:45.639
which he argues that a character led
culture is not just for reputation, but

628
00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:49.320
integral to the strategy of every winning
company. See you there. Remember that

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00:49:49.360 --> 00:49:52.000
works at least a third of our
lives. So let's work on purpose.

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00:49:57.719 --> 00:50:00.519
We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to tune in to Working

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00:50:00.559 --> 00:50:06.199
on Purpose featuring your host, Doctor
Elise Cortes, each week on the Voice

632
00:50:06.239 --> 00:50:12.360
America Empowerment Channel. Together, we'll
create a world where business operates conscientiously,

633
00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:19.159
leadership inspires impassioned performance, and employees
are fulfilled in work that provides the meaning

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00:50:19.199 --> 00:50:22.719
and purpose they crave. See you
there, Let's work on Purpose.