Bringing Compassion to Cultures of Masculinity

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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential. Business can be

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such a force for good in the
world, elevating humanity. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want

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working on purpose. Now. Here
is your host, doctor Elise Cortez.

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Welcome back to the Working and Purpose
Program. Thanks retaining again this week.

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I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortez. Doing You live from Dallas, Texas,

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which is home base for me.
If you don't know me yet,

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I'm a management consultant specializing and meaning
and purpose organization, logo therapist, inspirational

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speaker, social scientist, and author. You can learn more about me and

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how we can work together at Alice
Quartet dot com or Gusto Dashnow dot com.

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Let me think, my partner and
sponsor work proud. We are a

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perfect collaboration. Everyone wants to know
they matter and that they work they do

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is a meaningful and appreciated. Work
Proud is a mobile platform built to encourage

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employees to share stories and recognize each
other's contribution. Work crowd empowers hr and

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business leaders to create company cultures where
all employees are inspired to feel proud of

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their work and proud of their company. Learn more at work proud dot com.

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With us today is Sean Harvey,
the Chief Compassion Officer and Compassionate Masculinity

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Guide at Simponia Men's Studio based in
Washington, DC. Shown is a contributing

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as as a writer, speaker consultant
to an emerging narrative around the next frontier

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of men's healing and transformation through compassionate
masculinity and integrating compassion into traditionally masculine systems

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and cultures. Will be talking about
his path to his own purpose, why

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the world needs the work that it
does today, and their worthy it does

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in service of his mission you doing
today From Washington, DC. Shawn Rebendshahon,

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Welcome to Working on Purpose. Thank
you, Thank you at least,

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it's great to be here. It's
amazing to have you with me, and

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I am really looking forward to this
juicy, meaningful conversation. So glad I

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pass across. So to get us
started here this first segment, I really

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did want to talk more about really
who you are and how you became the

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person that you are. Many people
want to understand how can I discover my

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purpose? And so in this first
part I hope that in your sharing,

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they'll start to be able to glean
some things for themselves by listening to you,

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to gain access to their own path. So let's talk about just where

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what you set out to do professionally. I mean, I know you have

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a bachelor's in industrial organizational psychology,
a master's in organizational development, a masters

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in Education and counseling, and then
you worked as a consultant on Wall Street

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and for big media companies, and
so this is quite an interesting journey that

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you've been on. To say the
least. You know, I I pretty

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much played the game. And so
I turn forty, where I was heading

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up a consulting division for Wall Street
clients. I was a college professor,

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and on my fortieth birthday, I
had had enough of trying to create magic

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happen in two hours. And also
I think I was just tired of the

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hyper masculine cultures that were predominated so
many organizations, and as a professor of

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management, I was studying a lot
of them. And around the time that

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I left the firm, an opportunity
came along at Island Fisher or the women's

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fashion company, and the entire business
model was based on the feminine, not

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just feminine leadership, but it was
a feminine energy company and it wasn't.

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It was an interesting place because it
wasn't. The structures and systems didn't operate

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in a way that women were being
asked to act like men to succeed in

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business. But women were able to
be in the full expression of who they

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were to succeed in the organization,
and they did very well. And so

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it really as a systems thinker,
I just was experiencing one system and going

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to the other, going and there's
something radically different here. And I think

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how I found my purpose was I
ultimately became the head of Purpose, personal

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transformation and well being for the company. But along the way I did probably

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five different purpose retreats in the company
to discover my own purpose, to look

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at my own limiting beliefs, to
look at my own shadow work, to

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look at my ego work, and
to really discover from my journey what I

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was called to do, and then
an Armie Fisher. I was also sent

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to an artist commune for five months
in Canada to learn how to incorporate the

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arts and to create a facilitation.
And that experience was also just transformational and

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got me more steeped in what my
purpose and call was. And when I

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started Arming Fisher, quite honestly,
I went there so I wouldn't have to

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work with men again. I left
Iland Fisher realizing I'm supposed to do work

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with men. Based on what I
learned at Arlan Fisher, I knew it

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was beyond my pay grade. So
then I went to seminary to get the

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spiritual grounding I needed to be able
to hold this work in the way it

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needs to be helped. That was
probably the most beautiful and crisp rendition of

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a life that I think I've ever
heard. That is so beautiful. Thank

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you listeners and viewers. For those
of you who don't know who Island Fishers,

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it's important that you recognize just who
this company is. So they are

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a B Corp women's clothing company with
roughly four and twenty five million in annual

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revenue and twelve hundred employees across the
US, UK and Canada, and they

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are comprised of eight three percent women
and subscribe fully and unapologetically to femine leadership

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principles and practices. So what I
really appreciate is, one, how you

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found your way that you actually did
you go knocking at Island Fisher's door.

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Did they find you? It seems
a little bit unlikely that the two of

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you would meet and want to marry, if you will. So our sales

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guy at the firm I worked for, said, Hey, I think you

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should check out this. I think
you should try to sell to this company

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called Eilean Fisher. There's someone there
I think you connect with spiritually. And

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we hit it off and pretty much
around the time that I was. And

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the thing that was interesting was every
time I was trying to sell, because

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at the firm, I was really
creating, developing creative solutions for our clients.

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So and I just kept trying to
sell these offerings and they're like,

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no, we're good, we already
do that. No, we're good,

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we already do that. I mean, they meditate. There's Tibetan singing bowls

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in every conference room. As every
meeting starts with a moment of silence and

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meditation. So a few of eight
meetings a day, you have eight minutes,

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you have eight moments of silence and
meditation. And by the time I

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left, that would just joke.
I'm like, I'm going to give you

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chime coaching now, so you can
like allow the reparation from the singing bowl

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to just do what it needs to
do. And so my friend that I

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was trying to sell to we had
become friends, and she said, Hey,

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we're looking for an internal organization development
partner. Do you know anyone that

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might be interesting? And I said, you know, honestly, I think

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I would. And so I applied, went on an eight month interview process,

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and I got the job. But
this is I think this is the

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pivotal moment that transformed everything. It
was the first day on the job and

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my two bosses sat me down over
lunch and they said these words. They

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said, Sean, you have proven
yourself in the interview process. We now

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want you to stop proving yourself and
learn to be who you authentically are.

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We hired you. We saw it
when you interviewed with us. We saw

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your heart, and we saw your
polish as a new York City Consultant,

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Management Consultant. We hired you for
your heart and we want to see less

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of your polish. We want to
see you unfiltered and unhedited, and we're

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going to help you do that.
Wow. What an opportunity. Yeah,

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So, listeners and viewers, as
you're listening to this, I want you

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to really pay attention. This is
a thought leadership platform that's advancing the conversation

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on creating cultures where people thrive.
Inspirational leaders lead people to their greatness,

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and business is working in its highest
impact. And we're what you're experiencing seeing

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here is consciousness on the rise.
And I really just want to showcase that

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that this whole notion of spirituality in
the workplace and all of these well being

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practices that Sean is starting to refer
to are becoming more of the norm of

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the forward thinking organizations. You just
really want to showcase just how amazing what

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you've done with your life and where
you landed and where that's taken you.

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It's phenomenal, it's very inspiring,
you know. I think one thing that,

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yeah, just to kind of take
the point of one step further,

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so head Alian Fisher as part of
our wellness offerings, we had access to

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acoustic records, readers, medical intuitives, astrologers as part of our enriched well

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be And so for those who don't
die, so I ended up seeing an

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acoustic reader, probably on a quarterly
it's not bi annual basis. And for

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those who don't know what an acoustic
reader is, it's basically someone who channels

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or can connect with the spiritual guides
and they're really telling you how your in

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alignment or out of alignment with your
soul contract and really looking at your soul

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DNA. So I think to take
the idea of spirituality in the workplace to

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that degree of how are you aligned
headheart and spiritually in the workplace or headheart

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and spirit that integration and the permission
to be able to have deep enriched conversations

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and explanation of that that makes you
a whole person. You know. That's

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as you know, totally speaking my
language. So thank you for sharing that.

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So you had mentioned that our in
our first exchange. I think that

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you said that there were like five
experiences that you went through Ailian Fisher that

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really helped stewards your path to purpose. I know we can't talk about all

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of them maybe, but it was
that was part of that, was that

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one of your experiences that helped I
would say, yeah, I think the

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working with the acoustic reader, doing
the purpose workshops and working with our my

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mentor at Eileen Fisher, who was
a consultant named Marcello out of Brazil who

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worked with Ken Wolber and and Otto
Sharmer, and so we had a lot

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of Ken Welber and Otto Scharmer influence
in the organization along with Sudi Guru and

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really as we were moving to a
more conscious organization, like those were the

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thought leaders that were really in the
orbit at the organization. Well, four

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front, that is amazing. Well
share with us if you will, Sewan,

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because again, so many of our
listeners are just they're so hungry to

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discover their purpose and they're working at
it and you know they are looking for

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ways to be able to activate it. So you've gone through and done a

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lot of work on your shadows,
on your ego, and you've done a

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lot of these experiences that came through
Island Fisher. Will you share maybe one

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or two of them and just how
they helped you, What did you do

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and how did they help you.
Yeah, I think one of the things

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that we looked at and the purpose
work. I think so much of it

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comes down to the purpose work that
we did, and part of it was

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part of the experience, was to
look at are on that needs and to

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understand what on that needs we had
from childhood and how they're still playing out

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for us in our adulthood. Yeah, So that examination we did, But

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that I think, you know,
when we really go to the place of

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where where are shame and discomfort is
that's often the place where our purpose lies.

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And so when we can go to
that place of discomfort and go into

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it with courage and go into it. And for me, so much of

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it was my fear of men,
so much of them. It was my

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fear of not living up to the
masculine ideal. So much of it was

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not being considered man enough. So
much of it was how I was as

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a gay man, you know,
positioning and posturing myself so I could be

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acceptable and within that, living in
that mask, how much I was living,

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you know, and quite honestly,
the way I was living, I

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had an amazing resume. I knew
that my validity, my validation as a

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man could come from my credentials,
my education and the jobs that I took.

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So I was very conscious of that. But then when you look at

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my personal life, it was a
knemic, you know, the inability to

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have of close relationships, having a
dating life that was always in kaputs,

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and and just you know, living
to work as opposed to working to live.

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And so I think that that imbalance
was an indicator. I remember going

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into to talk to our wellness structor, but Nan Fisher. I was like,

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why do we have to have life
and we can have work. It's

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all about it's coming from Wall Street. Eighter weeks are amazing and she just

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looked at me with this love and
compassion and just and basically this look at

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like, dear boy, you will
learn. And over the five years,

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I really learned what that integration meant, and that to live a life on

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purpose does not mean sacrificing your life. Doesn't mean that when you follow the

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call that you can't have a meaningful
life outside of the work you do.

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Yet there's a blending between the work
you do and the work you're called to

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do. As a meeting, it
worked a researcher. I did discover that

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I found these fifteen modes of engagement, and there's lots of ways to be

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able to live our purpose and express
it, but one of them is it's

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called living with living your purpose.
And so it's just sort of this thread

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where it's just you and the work
are sort of inseparable, and you it's

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just to who you are in the
world, and you do it in service

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of others and so so somewhere in
there, Sean, you made this realization

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that you went to Island Fisher because
you didn't want to work with men anymore,

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but someone made the realization that you
needed to be able to help men

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somehow. So you tell if you
would do two things for is help us

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understand how you emerged, what was
happening at Island Fisher, to help you

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arrive at that point, and then
I'd like to hear how you are toicult

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your purpose today. You mentioned at
the beginning, but maybe it'll be different

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as a statement. Yeah, I
think there were probably three moments where really

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kind of became a crystal clear.
One of the first was five years ago.

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I was in Barcelona and I was
on vacation, having a miserable vacation

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in Barcelona because I didn't know what
to do on vacation. But no,

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it isn't okay. I'm going to
go back and hen relive that experience.

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But I got the message when I
was in Barcelona that has men we've not

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been socialized in socialized in healthy ways. And that just kept like following me

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around when I was in when I
was living in Barcelona, then when I

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was doing the Purpose work with Marcelo, it kind of just kept coming through.

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But it was when I really declared
it. I was it was the

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first weekend of the being in the
artist Commune when I got clear, like

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this is the work, and then
everything started to fall into place. But

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it was when I, you know, I think at Elian Fisher. What

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I started noticing was I noticed how
all the experiences I was just being transformed

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into a better version of myself.
I was more comfortable in my own skin.

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I was feeling transformed. I was
happier, my relationships were starting to

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gel and I started to have a
life. But it was when I started

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asking other men in the company,
you know, because like you said,

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it's an eighty three percent women,
so the sixteen seventeen percent of us and

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most of the men in the company
were either working in it and the distribution

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center some and throughout the fashion but
kind of more of the more traditional roles,

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right. But I would ask these
guys, I'm like, so yo,

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I'm I feel like I'm changing,
I'm transforming. Are you are you

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experiencing this? And the way it
would come through for them, I was

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like, They'll be like, yeah, you know, my wife said that

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I'm I listened differently, or that
I'm more patient, or I stopped needing

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to be right all the time,
and I started to get more curious and

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ask more questions. It started to
be more comfortable with nuanced conversation, and

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with nuance, I started to have
more access to my emotional expression and I

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was able to and I noticed that
my creativity was shifting and evolved. It

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was able to be more more creative
and more ideas and I could hidiate differently.

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And I think we all were saying, you know, when we when

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women are able to be their full
selves in an environment like this that automatically

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gives men permission to come into their
full selves. So the more that we

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can create this equity for women to
truly not fit into a model that's been

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forced upon them, but for them
to come into their authenticity and for those

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who are don't identify as male or
female or in the non binary or gender

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fluid. You know, organizations that
really embrace the full person that's ultimately going

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to allow men to come into a
different level of freedom and liberation for themselves

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which they can harunlock the power dynamics
that then allow more non male ad to

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find hulans to be able to take
quater rules of influence. Beautiful, Sean,

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let's let that set in for just
a while for our listeners and viewers.

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Grab our first break. I'm doctor
Leise Cortees. We've been on the

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air with Sean Harvey, the chief
compassion Officer and Compassionate Masculinity Guide at Samponia

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Min's studio based in Washington, DC. We've been talking about his path to

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purpose. After the break, we're
going to get into why the world needs

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the work that he's doing. Stay
with us, we'll be right back.

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Doctor Leise Cortez is a management consultant
specializing in meaning and purpose and inspirational speaker

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and author. She helps companies visioneer
for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose

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inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that
elevate fulfillment, performance and commitment within the

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workforce. To learn more or to
invite a Lease to speak to your organization,

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please visit her at a lease Cortez
dot com. Let's talk about how

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to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor

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Elise Cortez. To reach our program
today or open a conversation with Elise,

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send an email to Elise ali Se
at Elise Cortez dot com. Now back

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to working on purpose. Thanks for
staying with us, and welcome back to

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working on purpose. As I watched
the pandemic continue on, we look for

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ways to help companies support their employees
handled anxiety, stress, depression, and

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feeling disconnected while also helping lift and
inspired them with ongoing professional development. So

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we now offer a well being learning
webinar series called Grab your Gusto Vital Wellbeing

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from the inside Out. You can
learn more about it at least cortest dot

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com or send me an email to
Elise at least cortest dot com if you're

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just joining the program. My guest
is Sean Harvey, the Chief Compassion Officer

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and Compassionate Masculinity Guide at simpone Newsman
Studio based in Washington, DC, On

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is contributing as a writer, speaker, and consultant to an emerging narrative around

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the next frontier of men's healing and
transformation through compassionate masculinity and integrating compassion into

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traditionally masculine systems and cultures. On
your host, Doctor A Least Cortez.

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So for this next segment here,
Sean, I want to get into the

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you know, what you see in
the world and why you think that the

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work you're doing is so important.
So one of the great things about purpose,

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and you know this, is it
gives us when we stand in our

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own purpose, a very unique lens
that only we can use to be able

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to see what's missing or needed in
the world that we could solve. So

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if you would start by sharing your
perspective on what's happening in our world today

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that provokes and makes your work with
compassion so important, you know. So

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the name of the company Symphonia.
Symphonia here's the great word for compassion.

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M I didn't know that compassionate basically
compassionate Men's studio. And and I think

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when I was when I was thinking
about my company and I launched a January

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of twenty nineteen. When I was
thinking about it, I was thinking,

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I think we were in the middle
of a healthcare debate, and I was

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like, you know, with the
politicians, and I'm like, where's the

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compassion in this process? You know? And then I started thinking about the

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thing that's most needed in organizations is
compassion. And when we talk about woke

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culture, there's often a lot of
judgment in it. It's like, where's

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the compassion? Where are we honoring
people in their journeys? And now a

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lot of my work is with police, military, and federal law enforcement.

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There's there's a whole opportunity for work
around compassion in those spaces, both among

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the agencies, the departments, and
the officers and the agents, as well

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as the communities that are served.
And so, how are we holding how

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are we holding our organizational systems from
this place of love and compassion, you

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know? And I think at the
root of and I think compassion is such

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a beautiful extry point is so much
of this work because it can lend it

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to move between the secular and the
spiritual and speak to everyone. And so,

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but there's a real there's there's an
opportunity when we come and you know,

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on the way I define compassion is
the awareness and the response to preventing

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suffering for ourselves and others. Last
week, sorry Sean, please go book.

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I was gonna say add in that
to that end. Last week my

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guest was doctor Arthur cr McCaulay,
who has written a book called America Reunited,

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where essentially he's he's putting forth this
and I'd like to say these are

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his doctor's orders, because he's a
clinical psychologist, that what we really needed

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in our divide is empathy and the
ability to be able to sit and listen

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with curiosity versus throwing barbs of hatred
and judgment. And you know, where

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are where? Why when did we
lose the ability to actually have discourse and

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to learn? So I think there
are so many applications to the work that

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you're doing. And I realize that
you've launched only just a couple of years

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ago, which is phenomenal what you've
already done. But I am curious when

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you're out talking to people who maybe
don't know you, and you tell them

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your title and the work that you're
doing. I'd love to hear the general

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range of responses that you get.
You know, I've been talking about this

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for five years. I want to
say one thing though, before I go

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there. There's often such an association
with compassion as something that's soft or weak,

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and that's why why I think we
need to bring the masculinity conversation in,

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because I think there's so much in
the narrative of masculinity that defines how

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we look at compassion and the soft
skills. And yet if we understand the

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roots of why we think the way
we think, we can actually start to

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see compassion from a place of strength
that only strengthens our masculinity. So that's

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why I always see when we can
bridge and I often you know, when

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I was a professor as a consultant, when I when I can bridge juxtaposed

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ideas like compassion and masculinity into one
place, it becomes a conversation starter.

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I've been talking about this for five
years, and quite honestly, not one

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person as objected to what I've said. I haven't gotten the pushback. I've

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gotten cynical questions like how does this
work? Especially when I was just starting

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out in the conversation. They're a
little more clumsy, but I haven't gotten

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people like objecting, And I think
part of that is we hear so much

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about toxic masculinity and healthy masculinity,
healthy masculinity. We we're basically operating from

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a duelist to perspective that there's a
right, wrong, good, that right.

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But if we are embracing our full
humanity, we embrace our ussence and

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our shadow. Masculinity is a construct
that's outside of us, if so many

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of us have internalized it as a
reflection of us, it's really what holds

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social conditioning that tells us our should
who we should be, how we should

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show up, and what we have
access to in terms of the energies we

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can express and how it frames the
way we look at our gender, identity

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and expression. But if we're able
to take a step back and say this

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is just a construct, and if
we can embrace the construct for its essence

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and its shadow fully and it's a
thing and we wrap it in compassion,

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what does it do to that thing? Right? And So I think when

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I'm talking about compassion and masculinity is
coming from a place of love and not

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judgment. It's coming from a place
that the masculine. So I think in

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some ways. Historically we've demonized the
feminine, and now I think we're in

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an age where we're demonizing the masculine. Yes, and if they In reality,

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it's not about being in one direction
or the other. It's really what

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does it look like for each of
us to embody an integration of both in

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a more balanced way. And when
we're able to do that, when we're

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how to balance, it's not how
are you good that right or wrong?

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The question I always ask is what's
the cost? What's the cost if you

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can't tap into your feminine energy,
which is your nurturing, caring side.

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What's the cost if you can't tap
into your masculine which is going to be

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where you get things done, where
you move things forward, where you have

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structure, you know. And it's
like we the more we're able to be

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in this balance, the more we
have an agility to dance in our own

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humanity and respond to the situation that
the situations coming to us in a way

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that just make us makes us more
whole, more human, and more mature.

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Oh and that's exactly why for years
I've been attracted to and draw Jenny

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for that very reason, because to
me, it represents the possibility of being

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whole and complete and expressing all of
ourselves and drawing from both traditionally idealistic notions

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of femininity and masculinity. So,
I mean, I can't even explain to

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you how long my fascinations has been
with that, and here it comes.

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It's just the way you expressed it
so beautifully, that wholeness and completeness and

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authenticity. It's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. So, one of the

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things I think is really interesting about
you is that you are out to help

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very masculine or as you say,
hyper masculine environments and culture, is to

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develop compassion. So I'm interested in
what kinds of organizations are good prospects for

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you. You already mentioned that.
I think you said you were working with

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military and police. I didn't catch
what else, But what other organizations are

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good prospects that maybe in listening to
this they didn't quite recognize that they were

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something a good prospect to work with
you. I think in reality, ninety

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percent of all organizational systems and institutions
are based on a masculine model, yea,

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And those masculine models don't allow haven't
allowed for the feminine expression and we're

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starting to see hr practices that embody
this we just don't talk of, We

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just don't call it, you know, coming from the feminine, But in

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reality, we're trying to a lot
of times we're creating policies and procedures that

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are band aids on environments that are
competitive, environments that are very results driven,

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that are very quantifiable, and don't
really account for the human experience.

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You know, they're based on productivity, not as much on the human experience.

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And even as we move into this
this idea of human cent aer workplace

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design, the question I always have
is, you know, that's that's an

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amazing concept, but are we really
shifting the systems and the policies in a

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way that allow for someone to come
into their full power, from their authentic

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being into an organization and be accepted
and be appreciated, or are we going

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to say they're not a cultural fit. And so I think it's very I

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think right now we're in a period
where we're trying to figure this out.

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There's a lot of well intentioned ideas, and there's there are practices that work.

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The question is how deep are we
going in terms of really reshaping organizations

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and rethinking them and can organizational systems
be redesigned in a more integrated way,

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a more inclusive way, a more
conscious way, a more compassionate way.

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It allows us to be connected in
new ways. Well, we're having this

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conversation you and I in June of
twenty twenty one, and there is research

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out there today that says that about
fifty percent of the workforce, it leaks

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to North America plans to change jobs
this yere and part of that is just

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due to the pent up frustration and
arrested system being in the pandemic. Some

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of it has to do with not
feeling connected to their company, much of

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it has to do with not feeling
value and appreciate it. And then you

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have this whole notion of what's called
the Great resignation that's happening up there where

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people there was a that the pandemic
has really started to showcase why the work

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that we do that we do and
the way we do it is not working.

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So in my view, now right
now is a perfect time to have

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a conversation about how can we look
at our cultures and the way that we

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treat and manage our people to bring
in more of this compassion because it will

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make them lunt to stay longer and
give more of their all versus voting with

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their feet. Yeah. You know, I've been in DC for about nine

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weeks now. Since coming here,
I've been asked to do this work.

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Bring compassion and masculinity into police departments, federal law enforcement, like I said,

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military, to work with wide straight
evangelical men, to work with black

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men from historically black colleges universities,
to work with aeronautical corporations in aerospace,

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and now to work with the NFL. And so I think there's a need.

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And I you know, I know
when I talk to folks in NGOs,

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when I talk to people in the
government, when I talk to people

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and startups, there's still an opportunity
to rethink how we're considering organization design,

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how we're thinking about the systems,
and how we're thinking about the leadership practices

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that move from this place of fear
based control to compassion based empowerment. How

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beautiful. So before we go into
our next segment here, I think this

407
00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:42.599
makes sense at this point here,
now, if you would say a little

408
00:31:42.599 --> 00:31:47.640
bit about your soul's calling and at
your core why you do this work and

409
00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:49.559
of course how your journey has led
you to it. You've kind of sprink

410
00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:53.400
them along through our conversation. But
now if you could bring it together for

411
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:56.119
us, so we can thread it
all through and see what it really is.

412
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:01.839
So this was not this was not
the plan of my parents. I

413
00:32:01.960 --> 00:32:13.440
was supposed I was supposed to be
a third third generation long haul trucker and

414
00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:17.000
grew up and you mentioned androgeny,
and so probably from like seven, like

415
00:32:17.160 --> 00:32:24.200
probably, yeah, I mean probably
from like seven, so about twelve years

416
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:30.640
old, maybe thirteen, I was
pretty androgynous. People couldn't tell if I

417
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:31.559
was a boy or a girl.
Often people thought I was a girl,

418
00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:36.759
and I had so much shame around
that I wouldn't even I wouldn't even like

419
00:32:36.799 --> 00:32:39.200
correct them. So it wasn't even
like I was choosing to be gender food.

420
00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:44.640
It was like androgeny had had chosen
me, and I was living from

421
00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:49.359
that perspective. So I think I've
been part of this conversation exploration since I

422
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:53.160
was very young, very conscious of
it, and then I came out as

423
00:32:53.319 --> 00:32:58.599
gay a game man when I was
fifteen, I started a game less being

424
00:32:58.599 --> 00:33:00.839
youth group for the City of Dating, Ohio. When I was sixteen,

425
00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:07.559
which still exists today, and often
that was my barometer making career decisions over

426
00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:10.599
time, was what was that thing
I did at sixteen? That was when

427
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:17.160
my heart was flushed with possibility and
I was creating and ideating and creating something.

428
00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:27.240
It still exists today thirty one years
later. And then I went off

429
00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:30.319
to college, and I thought I
was going to study corporate finance and work

430
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:35.880
on Wall Street as a Wall Street
dude, and I ended up studying industrial

431
00:33:35.880 --> 00:33:38.720
and organizational psychology, and then just
in my path went in that direction.

432
00:33:39.559 --> 00:33:47.960
But I think studying organizational change,
first being a professor and teaching for ten

433
00:33:49.079 --> 00:33:53.880
years, working on Wall Street,
then working in fashion and going to seminary,

434
00:33:54.960 --> 00:34:00.559
being a gay activist back in the
day. I just think so many

435
00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:06.160
of these things gave me some perspectives, and I just think it's it's it's

436
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:12.360
it still blows me away that that
I'm talking to, you know, cops

437
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:20.159
and FBI agents and former FBI agents
and military folks and marines and about compassions

438
00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:25.840
as a queer man doing this and
and and they're listening, you know.

439
00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:31.440
And someone someone from Quantico said to
me recently, you know, he said,

440
00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:36.679
you know what the police work.
He said, Sean, you're not.

441
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:39.760
He had listened to me for two
and a half hours and like this

442
00:34:39.840 --> 00:34:43.760
was sort of a test, right, like how is he going to receive

443
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:46.719
this, you know? And he
said, I can't object to anything you've

444
00:34:46.760 --> 00:34:52.079
just said. Nothing that you said
is off putting to me. He said,

445
00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:59.400
you're all training cops to be better
cops. You're developing officers into better

446
00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:04.079
humans. Who can argue with that? And I think when we take when

447
00:35:04.079 --> 00:35:07.480
we take everything's going on in the
world right and we take the division,

448
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:15.719
and we take the the perceptions,
and we take the problems. Yet when

449
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:19.239
we take someone back to their core
humanity and say we give you permission to

450
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:24.280
be human, I think that's what
opens the door to all the other change.

451
00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:28.920
But we're trying to create the change
without getting people to come into their

452
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:32.000
humanness, and we're not seeing each
other human to human, soul to soul,

453
00:35:32.840 --> 00:35:37.559
and I think that's where we lose
out. I'm actually trying to create

454
00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:42.599
the bridges that we need to create
to innovate and solve the challenges that are

455
00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:47.119
in front of us, and we're
trying to force upon you have to change

456
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:52.480
so that this can work as opposed
to come into your own heart, come

457
00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:58.440
into your own relationship with with love, self love, and then ask how

458
00:35:58.519 --> 00:36:02.719
you love others When you're in no
frame of mind and you take the judgement

459
00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:07.639
out and the rightness out and the
righteousness out of it, then you have

460
00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:09.679
an opportunity to say, so,
now, what's possible in our connection when

461
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:15.400
we can see each other in this
more soulful, more human, and more

462
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:20.480
humane way. And with that,
I'm going to take us into our last

463
00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:22.440
break. So listeners and viewers like
you would just reflect a bit on what

464
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:25.440
Sean said about his journey and how
fast, how far back you could trace

465
00:36:25.480 --> 00:36:29.559
it back. I'm your host,
Doctor Release Cortez. We've been on the

466
00:36:29.559 --> 00:36:32.880
air with Sean Harvey, the chief
compassion Officer and Compassionate Masculinity guide at Simponium

467
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:37.199
and Studio based in Washington, DC. We've been talking about his path to

468
00:36:37.239 --> 00:36:38.639
purpose. After the break, we're
going to talk about the work that he

469
00:36:38.679 --> 00:36:42.119
does and how it makes a difference. Stay with us, We'll be right

470
00:36:42.119 --> 00:36:47.159
back. Doctor Release Cortez is a
management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose and

471
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:53.360
inspirational speaker and author. She helps
companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and

472
00:36:53.480 --> 00:37:00.320
develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused
cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and

473
00:37:00.519 --> 00:37:06.039
commitment within the workforce. To learn
more or to invite a lease to speak

474
00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:09.719
to your organization, please visit her
at Eleise Cortez dot com. Let's talk

475
00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:22.000
about how to get your employees working
on purpose. This is working on Purpose

476
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:25.679
with doctor Release Cortez. To reach
our program today or open a conversation with

477
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:32.719
Elise, send an email to Elise
ali se at Elise Cortez dot com.

478
00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:43.639
Now back to working on Purpose.
Thanks for staying with us, and welcome

479
00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:45.599
back to Working on Purpose. I
mentioned after the first break about the grab

480
00:37:45.639 --> 00:37:50.679
your gusta wellbeing what in our learning
series. The content of that program came

481
00:37:50.760 --> 00:37:53.880
from the part one of my recently
published book called Purpose Ignited, How Inspiring

482
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:58.519
Leaders Ignite passion and Elevate Cause,
which is now available on Amazon. I

483
00:37:58.559 --> 00:38:01.119
wrote that book to awaken reader to
their passion and purpose and help transform them

484
00:38:01.159 --> 00:38:06.079
into inspirational leaders who enlive in the
workplace and elevate the contribution of the business

485
00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:08.519
to all stakeholders. So that's where
the content came from. If you're just

486
00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:12.960
joining us. My guest today from
Washington, DC is Sean Harvey at the

487
00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:16.000
Symponia Men's Study is also contributing as
a writer, speaker, and consultant to

488
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:22.360
an emerging narrative around the next frontier
of men's healing and transformation through compassionate masculinity

489
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:27.800
and integrating compassion traditionally masculine systems and
cultures. I'm your host, doctor Lee's

490
00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:31.119
Cortez. So for this last bit
of time together here, Sean, I

491
00:38:31.159 --> 00:38:35.239
wanted to get into some of the
work that you do so our listener interviewers

492
00:38:35.239 --> 00:38:37.880
can better understand how they might access
you and how you might be able to

493
00:38:37.880 --> 00:38:43.960
help them. So you describe your
work at Simponia as a leadership institute dedicated

494
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:47.559
to helping the next generation of compassion
centered bridge builders, facilitators, leaders and

495
00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:53.239
change makers equipped to form authentic and
purpose driven communities, intimate, collaboratively redefined

496
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:58.440
leadership model models, reimagine systems of
structure and transform cultures. That's just awesome

497
00:38:58.440 --> 00:39:01.280
work. So would you just say
a little bit about the kind of work

498
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:05.760
that you're principally doing. What are
you principally focused on? Obviously men and

499
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:15.239
cultures, So you know, I
I thought about this, who's my audience,

500
00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:20.880
and I guess these days as who's
your avatar? And to create the

501
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:25.400
scale that I'm envisioning, this really
is working with that level. You talked

502
00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:30.599
about what I consider the lever points. So I'm not really the guy for

503
00:39:30.639 --> 00:39:37.599
everyone. I typically work with the
facilitators, the bridge builders, the change

504
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:43.719
bankers, and the leaders who can
create scale. If the message can come

505
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:46.239
to them, then it can go
into the systems that they operate in.

506
00:39:47.480 --> 00:39:54.440
And so then bringing in a compassion
centered, soul inspired approach and bringing people

507
00:39:54.519 --> 00:40:00.920
into that deeper level of consciousness what
I fou That's where I've been and now

508
00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:06.039
when I bring it to the work
with men, it's really still operating at

509
00:40:06.039 --> 00:40:12.880
that level. And the intellectual part, the compassionate part, and the soulful

510
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:16.119
part are so intertwined. I can't
tease them out, and so it just

511
00:40:16.199 --> 00:40:19.880
comes through, and I think it's
it's part of what comes through and the

512
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:25.639
flow to really I think all these
pieces of them building blocks to be able

513
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:32.440
to create experiences. Now, so
studios studios are basically retreats. It's just

514
00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:37.320
that there's something about the language I
use. Are boot camps or compassion boot

515
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:45.159
camp, Compassion and Masculinity lab and
a men's studio, So really an introduction

516
00:40:45.199 --> 00:40:49.960
into compassion, the play of more
of like a lab of how do we

517
00:40:50.039 --> 00:40:54.119
experiment and play with compassion and masculinity? How do they work? And how

518
00:40:54.159 --> 00:41:00.519
do we how do we move from
experiencing compassion to expressing compassion? And then

519
00:41:00.639 --> 00:41:05.800
how do we do the deeper inner
work in the studio that allows us to

520
00:41:05.880 --> 00:41:10.840
really come into our wholeness? You
know. Then there's another piece of the

521
00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:15.400
work that's been really near and dear
to. I mean, I think it's

522
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:19.519
so it's part of my journey.
I think it's a struggle for so many

523
00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:24.679
men, which is retreats for men
on the relationship to love, sex and

524
00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:30.199
minimacy. Because I believe that if
we want to be true bridge brothers,

525
00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:32.480
we have to get in a relationship
with our own ability to be in like

526
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:37.760
intimacy with ourselves and others, because
in so many ways we're often just connected.

527
00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:42.559
And the way I often describe it
is, you know, for so

528
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:46.960
many of us, there's the intimacy
that we desire and end for, there's

529
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:52.199
a love that we often misunderstand,
and there's a sex that we settle for

530
00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:58.360
and we often get them confused,
Harry. It often creates a lot of

531
00:41:58.400 --> 00:42:02.679
turmoil for us as we're figuring out
how to have healthy relationships, healthy families,

532
00:42:04.440 --> 00:42:08.880
and to find our partners and so, and that all translates them into

533
00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:13.840
how we create friendships. You know, the statistics that I've seen A study

534
00:42:13.920 --> 00:42:19.039
often says men stop making friends at
thirty five, and often they will take

535
00:42:19.079 --> 00:42:23.360
on the friends of their wives or
their significant others. And so that factor

536
00:42:23.440 --> 00:42:31.400
of loneliness disconnection is so profound,
and there's often not the coping skills for

537
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:37.760
men to be able to have to
get there get those needs met. So

538
00:42:37.800 --> 00:42:43.000
that's often where we then go into
these issues of alcoholism, drug abuse,

539
00:42:43.719 --> 00:42:47.280
suicide, sex addiction, and porn
addiction, whatever that may be. Is

540
00:42:47.320 --> 00:42:52.320
finding the coping mechanism that's going to
work for us, but it's like it's

541
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:57.360
still not leading us into healthier ways
of being that actually give us a fulfilling

542
00:42:57.400 --> 00:43:04.559
life. That was a beautiful rendition
of what you're addressing and how you're lifting.

543
00:43:04.559 --> 00:43:07.079
And one of the reasons I keep
hosting the show, Sean after six

544
00:43:07.159 --> 00:43:09.320
years. I think your episode number
three hundred and thirty one is because I

545
00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:13.440
continue to learn from my from my
guests, they teach me, they elevate

546
00:43:13.519 --> 00:43:16.719
me. So the conceptual part of
the show is really important because it's the

547
00:43:16.800 --> 00:43:21.440
educational inspiration component. But now,
if you would next, I ask you

548
00:43:21.480 --> 00:43:23.480
to think a little bit about an
example of a group that you've worked with

549
00:43:23.519 --> 00:43:28.119
and helped, so that our listeners
and viewers can understand, you know,

550
00:43:28.199 --> 00:43:30.079
who are you working with, Why
did they think they want to work with

551
00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:34.760
you? Because we know sometimes why
it becomes different along the way, and

552
00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:38.199
what were the results, what was
what was different afterwards? Yeah, you

553
00:43:38.280 --> 00:43:45.480
know, all the most recent.
So at the beginning of the pandemic,

554
00:43:45.559 --> 00:43:52.280
I started something called Facilitator Edge,
which was creating a space for facilitators because

555
00:43:52.280 --> 00:43:55.760
when I when I saw, you
know, we were going into this pandemic,

556
00:43:55.800 --> 00:44:00.679
and I was like, whoa.
Every facilitator around the world just had

557
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:06.639
their their world rock because they can't
facilitate in person events and right it's like

558
00:44:06.920 --> 00:44:12.480
there's they either have to learn zoom. They were losing contracts, and because

559
00:44:12.519 --> 00:44:15.480
that's that's part of my community,
I said, you know, maybe there's

560
00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:19.719
an opportunity, and so I created
something called Facilitator Edge, which was a

561
00:44:19.719 --> 00:44:25.320
weekly conversation for facilitators, and it
was really, how do we create meaningful

562
00:44:25.360 --> 00:44:30.679
connection in virtual spaces? How do
we continue to keep our communities thriving in

563
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:36.480
the virtual world, and how do
we need to evolve to hold the space?

564
00:44:37.119 --> 00:44:39.800
And really it's as we see the
crumbling systems around us, the systems

565
00:44:39.800 --> 00:44:45.079
that are being dismantled, we haven't
rebuilt them. So we're kind of in

566
00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:52.039
this this this this place of unknowing
right now as facilitators. How do we

567
00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:54.920
hold the space for the unknowing and
how how do we get in touch with

568
00:44:54.960 --> 00:45:01.079
our own ability to surrender and flow
and not knowing and being the emergence.

569
00:45:02.599 --> 00:45:13.960
And so we did that for about
a year and we reached five hundred and

570
00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:19.079
seventy five facilitators from fifteen countries.
Wow, having just you know, just

571
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:22.320
through LinkedIn and just you know,
connections, and then there were people that

572
00:45:22.400 --> 00:45:28.840
just kept continuing with me and that
morphed into you know, I became a

573
00:45:28.920 --> 00:45:32.639
minister and interfaith minister last June,
so it was actually a year ago this

574
00:45:32.679 --> 00:45:38.920
week. I became an interfaith minister
and I then launched something called Soulful Facilitation.

575
00:45:40.199 --> 00:45:44.559
How do we bring soul into the
spaces that we hold, and how

576
00:45:44.559 --> 00:45:46.679
do we create sacred space, and
how do we start to move from tools,

577
00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:51.800
techniques and strategies into the surrender of
art and ceremony. And now with

578
00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:59.079
men's work, it'll be art ceremony
and initiation and ritual ceremony and initiation.

579
00:46:00.079 --> 00:46:07.320
And so that those conversations then led
to a training program that I do called

580
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:14.719
the Soulful Facilitator Intensive And really I
think it was this blend of facilitators coming

581
00:46:14.760 --> 00:46:22.199
into a more deeper sense of themselves, relaxing the ego, getting off the

582
00:46:22.199 --> 00:46:25.320
script, and the ability to flow
with the energy of the space. And

583
00:46:25.719 --> 00:46:31.559
this thing that I often say is
facilitators. Contrary to popular belief, the

584
00:46:31.639 --> 00:46:37.039
more invisible we become as facilitators,
the more powerful the containers we create,

585
00:46:37.039 --> 00:46:40.360
because we make it less about us. And it's that dance of we're often

586
00:46:40.440 --> 00:46:44.800
intelligent human beings. We don't need
to tell people how smart we are,

587
00:46:45.320 --> 00:46:50.679
and we can actually just let the
embodiment of our ability to hold that space

588
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:58.320
showcase our ability. And so it's
the dance of the ego. And so

589
00:46:58.599 --> 00:47:02.719
that's really been transforming. And now
I've been one foot in and one foot

590
00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:07.360
out with the men's work for the
last five years, and definitely for the

591
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:09.159
last two and a half years.
Out of fear, out of scarcity,

592
00:47:09.239 --> 00:47:14.239
out of this has been practical.
I should do something more practical and more

593
00:47:14.280 --> 00:47:19.840
mainstream. But the way the spiritual
journey works and the way the spiritual call

594
00:47:19.920 --> 00:47:22.880
works is you can run away,
but you can't hide, because it's going

595
00:47:22.920 --> 00:47:24.559
to find you, that's going to
keep reminding you that this is your work.

596
00:47:25.719 --> 00:47:29.760
And so now I'm one hundred percent
all in on the men's work,

597
00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:34.239
and so I don't have as many
stories to tell because this is really and

598
00:47:34.320 --> 00:47:38.880
it's it's infancy. It's been conceptualizing, and I've been doing my own work

599
00:47:39.280 --> 00:47:45.159
to be able to hold the work
in the ways that it needs to and

600
00:47:45.239 --> 00:47:51.840
I'm settling into the comfort of knowing
that and knowing that now I'm ready to

601
00:47:52.880 --> 00:47:55.559
in some ways walk into the lions
twn and really hold these conversations and hold

602
00:47:55.599 --> 00:48:00.480
the healing, the possibility and the
transformation to men to come, for men

603
00:48:00.519 --> 00:48:05.400
to come into their best selves without
trying to hold an agenda that it needs

604
00:48:05.440 --> 00:48:10.239
to look like anything other than what
is authentic to them and liberates them into

605
00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:16.719
their their full possibility. And into
their full humanity. That is a fantastic

606
00:48:16.760 --> 00:48:21.760
way to finish, Sean. What
a beautiful, beautiful narration rendition And it's

607
00:48:21.800 --> 00:48:24.360
completely palpable that you're in that space, that journey, and I'm so happy

608
00:48:24.400 --> 00:48:28.360
to know you. I'm so happy
to share you with our listeners across the

609
00:48:28.559 --> 00:48:31.360
globe who need your message in your
work desperately. And I want to thank

610
00:48:31.360 --> 00:48:35.440
you very much for saying yes to
being on the show and yes to sharing

611
00:48:35.440 --> 00:48:38.400
so beautifully. Thank you, thank
you for having me. You're so welcome

612
00:48:38.519 --> 00:48:42.159
listeners and viewers. If you want
to learn more about Sean and the work

613
00:48:42.159 --> 00:48:45.639
that he's doing, it's easy.
It's just to start to go to simponiamen

614
00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:49.480
dot com. Let me spell that
for you, s Y M P O

615
00:48:49.719 --> 00:48:57.119
N I A M O N Yes, I move in m Inman dot com,

616
00:48:57.159 --> 00:49:00.039
Simponi dot com, SI dot com. Sorry, I want to make

617
00:49:00.039 --> 00:49:04.320
sure you can find them. And
he just created this fresh as well,

618
00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:07.519
so it's just got some random information
and lots of resources and things that he

619
00:49:07.559 --> 00:49:10.039
can share with you. Thanks again
to our partnering sponsor, work Proud,

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00:49:10.079 --> 00:49:14.960
which helps companies build a platform where
your workforce receives muniqual feedback and thanks for

621
00:49:15.039 --> 00:49:17.280
their work from people across your company. Last week, if you missed the

622
00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:20.760
live show, you can always catch
it recorded podcast. We were on the

623
00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:23.400
air with doctor Arthur Serra McCauley,
a fourth time guest, this time talking

624
00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:28.760
about his latest book, America Reunited, a relational solution to bridging the political,

625
00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:31.119
social, and personal chasm dividing our
nation. Next week, we'll be

626
00:49:31.159 --> 00:49:36.239
on air with Frank Calderoni, who
is the chairman and CEO of Anapan and

627
00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:40.559
the author of Upstanding How Company character
Catalyzes Loyalty, Agility and hyper Growth,

628
00:49:40.840 --> 00:49:45.199
in which he argues that a character
lay culture is not just for reputation,

629
00:49:45.519 --> 00:49:49.239
but integral to the strategy of every
winning company. See you're there a remember

630
00:49:49.239 --> 00:49:52.000
that works at least a third of
our lives. So let's work on Purpose.

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00:49:57.679 --> 00:50:00.519
We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to tune into Working

632
00:50:00.519 --> 00:50:06.159
on Purpose featuring your host, Doctor
Alice Cortez, each week on the Voice

633
00:50:06.199 --> 00:50:12.320
America Empowerment Channel. Together, we'll
create a world where business operates conscientiously,

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00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:19.119
leadership inspires impassioned performance, and employees
are fulfilled in work that provides the meaning

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00:50:19.159 --> 00:50:22.719
and purpose. They crave see you
there. Let's work on purpose.