Achieving You and Your Team’s Impossible Goals Through Flow

Many people set artificial limitations on themselves and their lives. They convince themselves they can’t reach their highest goals because they’re simply too far out of reach. What they need is someone to help hold up a mirror to their full potential...
Many people set artificial limitations on themselves and their lives. They convince themselves they can’t reach their highest goals because they’re simply too far out of reach. What they need is someone to help hold up a mirror to their full potential and what lies beyond their immediate perception. A coach can help activate and awaken what is already present in someone and ignite their flow state. And in that place, all manner of possibilities await. In this episode, we talk with an executive flow coach who helps people realize their wildest dreams. Tune in and glimpse the possibilities for your own life.
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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.
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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately
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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that
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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential business can be such
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a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program,
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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want Working
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on purpose. Now. Here is
your host, doctor Elise Cortes. Welcome
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back to the Working on Purpose Program. Thanks for tuning in again this week.
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I'm your host, doctor Leuse Cortez. Join you live from Dallas,
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which is home base for me.
If you don't know me yet, I'm
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a management consultant specializing in meaning and
purpose, organizational logotherapist, inspirational speaker,
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social scientist, and author. My
team and I help companies discover and articulate
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their purpose to throw it through culture
and our operations. And we work but
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forward thinking or forward reaching organizations to
develop inspirational leaders who create cultures where people
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actually want to come to work and
do their best. And we provide programs
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like the grab your gust that enable
individual team members to discover and unleash their
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passion and purpose at work to catalyze
fulfillment, engagement, in productivity. You
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can learn more about us and how
we can work together at at least coortes
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dot com. With us today is
Chris King. He's a peak performance executive
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coach and motivational speaker who is focused
on truth. He's the co author of
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Renegotiate Your Existence, Unlock Your Impossible
Life. We'll be talking about what he's
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learned about how we form beliefs and
how they serve or don't service, and
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the work he does to help people
to quickly achieve impossible goals through flow.
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You don't You Today from Plaid Common
in Mexico, where he spends about half
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of the year. Normally he's in
Los Angeles. Chris, welcome to Working
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on Purpose. Thank you so much
for having me. I'm grateful to be
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here. I'm so glad I found
you. You are minding your very own
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business when someone sent me to knock
on your door, and I'm very happy
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that that happened. So great to
meet You're great to have you on Chris.
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Are you ready? I'm ready?
I think you are just a little
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bit of energy. Yeah right,
I think you had enough coffee today.
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I think you're right extra natural lull. To be honest with you, I
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know this about you. Yeah,
just you're You're the human spark plug.
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So right right, And they asked
me what my sign is, I say,
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neon. You know that's so great. All right, so let's get
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right into this now. For people
who don't know what you do your world,
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you're a peak performance executive coach and
obviously a motivationial speaker. So first,
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what do you mean by peak performance? I just had a conversation with
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somebody else about something that I thought
was so mainstream, which is conscious capitalism,
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and then this whole idea of what
that was. So maybe we have
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a different idea about what you do
peak performance. How do you describe it?
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Yeah, well, you know,
the thing is, and I get
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some feedback on this, like,
you know, peak is spelled really weird
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on your website. Yeah, that's
not a typo. It's it's that way
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p is p i q u e. Because what we're talking about, yes,
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we are talking about exponential increases in
velocity in creativity. We're talking about
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lowering stress levels. We're talking about
everybody in the organization being a high performer.
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But the work that we do and
the way we do the way we
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do it is particularly disruptive. It's
an assault on the ego. So peak
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is very upsetting. It is uncomfortable
work, quite simply. It is not
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for the faint of heart. But
it's always worth it. When I say
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that the juice is always worth the
squeeze, I love that. Okay,
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So right out of the gate,
of course, I have to just rive
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it in on the idea of impossible
goals. I have done some work for
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around transformation and innovation and this idea
of people say well we can't do that.
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There's just big can't do that performance
barrier, and there's something for you,
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you do something. There's something about
this whole thing about impossible goals.
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Why impossible goals, Chris, Well, because we can achieve so much more
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than we think we can, you
know, and and you know the Navy
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seals talk about this, the twenty
x rules. Right, you can achieve
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twenty times more than you think you
can. If your life depended on If
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you think you can run a mile, you can probably run twenty. And
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and when we stretch beyond what we
think is possible. You know, maybe
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we don't get all the way to
the impossible that we thought we would,
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that we hoped we get to,
but we get a lot farther. So
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focusing on possible is already limiting yourself. That is very distinguishing. I love
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that. Okay, So you already
mentioned something about I think it was some
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kind of a torture technique that you
used it to fulfill these results. Are
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just kidding your methodology. Speak to
a little bit of your methodology, please,
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Well, it's difficult to say it's
my methodology, right. This is
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all based in science. Essentially,
it's a combination of who I am,
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what I've learned, and how I'm
applying it. Right. When I was
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a kid in grade school, every
teacher I ever had told me I was
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disruptive. Well, I couldn't agree
more, to be honest with you,
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because that's where the process starts.
It's we're going to disrupt everything that's happening
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in an organization and within an individual. Peak performance through our lens is nothing
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more than getting your psychology and your
physiology to work for you instead of against
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you. So you mentioned the whole
cant thing right, somebody says I can't.
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Well, there's like a neurochemical cocktail
associated that with the mental framework behind
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that. So in our work,
it is about aligning everything you have and
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everything you are with the outcomes that
you're looking for. Your thoughts, your
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feelings, your actions, All of
your resources, time, money, energy,
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everything you've got physical space, all
of this can be aligned and purpose
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towards an outcome. So it's all
about leverage, right. A lot of
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performance organizations talk about efficiency or productivity. We look through the lens of leverage,
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how do we get a whole lot
more using a whole lot less.
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So as you're speaking, one of
the things I'm very present to Chris because
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I do some of that work as
well, is I can imagine a couple
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of different scenarios as you're doing the
work that you're doing. One is that
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you're creating an environment, a situation
of possibility for people to step into and
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see themselves more than they could see
themselves before. So you're helping that maybe
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add a lens to their viewing perspective. That's one possibility. The other possibility
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is that you in their narration of
who they are and what they rope to
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and how they go about life.
You can start to notice, Wow,
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do you recognize that you actually do
this differently than other people? Do you
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cross this river in a whole different
way somebody else does? So I kind
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of can imagine a couple of ways
that you go about elevating and enlightening people
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to this impossibility mindset. Can you
speak a little bit more to know how
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you do it? Well? As
I said, the first thing is to
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disrupt everything because and then it's a
process of accountability. This is where things
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start to get really uncomfortable. Right, we look through the lens of one
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hundred percent response ability. Okay,
we don't work in a world of blame
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and fault. That's that's old school
kind of thinking. Right. When we
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look at responsibility, think of it
as a hyphenated word, right, response
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hyphen ability your ability to respond to
something. And what we do is we
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couple that with the idea of ownership. When we have responsibility for something,
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we have ownership of it. So
think about your cell phone for a second.
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If it's sitting on the table,
it's not your phone. You you
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have no power to affect that.
The second you take ownership of that and
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it becomes yours. You empower yourself
to affect it, to do something with
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it. So what we'll do is
with it, whether it's an an individual
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or a team, we're going to
disrupt their existing patterns, bring conscious awareness
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to them, and disrupt them.
Then we're going to go through We're going
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to look at everything through the lens
of one hundred percent responsibility ownership for the
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situation or for the goal, or
whatever it is we're trying to do.
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Then what we're going to do is
we're going to start doing behavior modification.
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And you're you're actually going to know
probably more about this than I am,
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right, because behavior modification is the
key part. But if we can set
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conditions and behaviors in the organization,
we can start to produce these exponent exponential
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increases in speed and creativity and eliminate
stress levels. And this is what is
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known as flow. This is what
athletes call being in the zone or runners
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high. It's all driven by your
natural neurochemistry. Anybody can get into a
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flow state if you set the conditions
and behaviors to so that it's a flow
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rich environment. It basically becomes the
natural end result of setting the stage for
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it okay, awesome. Two things. Oh, So when I hear the
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word response ability, especially in the
hyphenated format, I go to logo therapy.
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Are you versed at all in loco
therapy? In Victor Frankel's work I've
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read Okay, no is the short
answer. I'm familiar with it. I
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will say this much. One of
my colleagues is a man named Tom Drucker,
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who who's just a very sweet and
brilliant man. He's got a very
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extensive and impressive career and it all
started when when he worked for Victor Frankel
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way back when. And so I
read man Search for Meeting, you know,
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and after working with Frankele he was
actually mentored by Maslow himself. So
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his pedigree is ridiculous. Oh I'm
so envious. Yeah, okay, because
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that's definitely bled over for sure.
Because I am a local therapist, that's
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the Victor Frankel space, and so
I immediately registered that. And the second
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point I definitely want to make about
your methodology your approach that I love is
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it's empowering right when you can be
you can help people understand that no,
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no, no, no, you
are a response able for this. You
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can this is within your reach that
he is empowering and I really really admire
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and appreciate that. Well, thank
you. It's it was a painful lesson
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that I learned. Actually, well
that's where I wanted to go next.
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My friend. You know, you
can run for me, but you can't
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hide because I'm an identity researcher.
So you know, I have to.
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I got to get the goods on
just how it is that you became this
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human being that you can do this
work today. So what's the story A
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little bit of a you know,
a narration of how it was that you
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that you got into the world of
work and how you land where you are
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today. Yeah, that okay.
So the cliffs notes is, you know,
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I did a master's program in spiritual
psychology and I saw that I went
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to hippie school as I like to
call it, uh a, you know,
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And I've and I've trained and collaborated
with the best you know, Stephen
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Cotler's organization, the Flow Research Collective, Jamie Whale at the Flow Genome Project.
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I've trained with retired and actually actively
currently trained with retired US Navy seals.
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I mean, this is these are
all organizations that are oriented around performance.
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Now I have a very long and
and intimate relationship with flow itself.
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I was an ice hockey player.
I was I was trained how to race
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go cards and cars when I was
a kid, so I understand what it
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means to be in the zone.
I didn't really know that, you know
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what, how that worked in terms
of the neurobiology behind it. I learned
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that much later. But ultimately this
became the delivery vehicle for anything that I
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wanted in my life. Because my
my life, you know, I didn't
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come out of a box this way. I was a disaster. I grew
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up in a very privileged neighborhood in
a very scary house. And so so
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at one point I realized, while
none of my childhood history or any of
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this was my fault, all of
it was my responsibility. And that was
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when I started to sort of,
you know, renegotiate my my life on
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this planet. So I have another
perspective that I want to share with you
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and just sort of try this on. So I have this thing when I
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do, when I do my strengths, find your workshops. I always ask
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the crowd. When you were a
kid, somebody you got you were told
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by a few people that you're too
whatever, and as there's always a negative
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attip afterward too, and people will
readily, you know, can produce you
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know a few words or you know
one in particular that come after weard too
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you said your teacher said that you
were a disruptor, disruptive. Yeah,
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they said I was diptive. That's
it, right, that is that that's
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who you you the role you've been
playing in the world, right, And
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and so you disrupted even you know, even your own home ustasis in your
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own home, and you know,
by by recognizing that you weren't the victim
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to it, you were responsible for
it. And and here you are disrupting
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lives tremendously by helping people achieve the
impossible. I mean, that is a
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disruptor, Chris. And so I
think it's really interesting when you start to
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peel back and you can see that
this stuff has been with us forever,
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right, Yeah, it's just a
matter how to your point, how do
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we express it? And what vehicle
do we use to be able to serve
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from it? Yeah? How do
you relate to whatever it is? You
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know, like, how you relate
to the issue is the issue? I
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was told I was disruptive. I
told that I talked too much. I
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was told that people would pay me
to shut up. Well, when I
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started, you know, to realize
that this was actually a good thing.
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Now they pay me not to mm
hmm, you know, yeah, pay
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you not to not to shut up
because you're you know, so it's it
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is rather comical that you are a
motivational speaker as well. Right, so,
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and so this is what I find
so fascinating about life. Somehow we
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can, you know, pay attention
to the voices that actually help us find
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our way and ignore those people that
may be well intentioned or just misguided.
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And you know, forget those that
told you, you know, that you're
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too disruptive and you know, too
talkative and to be quiet. Right,
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imagine if you had heeded those those
words. Oh I did for a long
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time, you know, I shut
myself down. I stopped talking. I
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really went into a shell. I
mean, there are any numbers of strategies,
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uh, you know, because this
was not accepted by my peer group.
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And I will tell you what I've
learned is that everything, everything about
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you is a gift. And if
you do not see it that way,
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you have simply misidentified it. There's
nothing wrong with you. Okay. I
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know right now somebody is going,
there's totally these things wrong with me.
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No, you're wrong. It's a
misidentification. Nothing is wrong with you.
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You are perfectly There is an architecture
to you that is perfectly designed to fulfill
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whatever your purpose, whatever your mission, whatever that thing is. You just
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need to figure out how do I
recognize this for the gift that it is
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and how do I put it into
service. I completely agree and have to
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tell a story on that front.
So my daughter, who's now nineteen,
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when she was a kid, Chris
like, I'm gonna call it, you
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know, I don't know, five
six seven or so, her dad and
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they are having a conversation, and
he said, very very you know,
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dramatically, he said, she could
be anything she wants to be in life,
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as long as she's an investment banker
or an account And I went,
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h this is a CPA speaking by
the way, I said, you know,
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I don't know, have you just
sort of watched this kid at all
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lately? You know, this is
a kid who literally she walks out the
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back patty of door, she throws
the door, and she braces into the
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wind. She goes, Mama,
do you smell that breeze? And I'm
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just like, she's so sensate.
I don't know, I just don't quite
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say it. How About instead I
was signing her away? How about instead
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we go looking for who she really
is in the world and discover her unique
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nuances and help her find a way
to make that work in the world.
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He said, sounds dumb, but
I'll go with it, And during his
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credit he did go with it,
and we discovered that this little six seven
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year old decided she'd wanted to be, no surprise, a chef, so
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she had her own website, she
had her own business cards said Gabby's Kastronomy,
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and she would make things and go
someone on the weekend with them,
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many telling or anything. She outgrew
that, but we did. We just
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watched her. Just we went looking
for her. And it wouldn't it be
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amazing if employers did that for all
of their team members, if parents did
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that for all of their their for
their kids, right, that would be
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the thing, right? So I
think you and I both stand for that.
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But there's there's a story that I
can't help but pass on. Given
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what you just said, that's a
beautiful story. I'm glad you shared that
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because you're right. I think I
think leadership, I think parenting is a
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process of discovery and then sell it. You'll find a way to make that
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work. I'll have a nother story
for you after the break, but let's
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grab our first. Break already goes
so fast. I'm doctor Release Cortes.
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We're on the air with Chris King. He is a peak performance executive coach
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and motivational speaker who is focused on
truth. We've been talking a bit about
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his journey of how he got to
be where he is today, some of
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the things he does in his work. After the rik, we're going to
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continue peeling back those layers and hear
more about this thing about truth. Stay
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with us, We'll be right back. Doctor Elise Cortes is a management consultant
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specializing in meaning and purpose and inspirational
speaker and author. She helps companies visioneer
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for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop
purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that
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elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment
within the workforce. To learn more or
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to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot
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00:16:51.000 --> 00:17:02.200
com. Let's talk about how to
get your employees working on purpose. This
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00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:06.920
is Working on Purpose with doctor Elise
Cortes. To reach our program today or
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00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:14.079
open a conversation with Elise, send
an email to Alise Alise at elisecortes dot
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00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:19.119
com. Now back to working on
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us,
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and welcome back to the program.
Before we get back into the content with
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Chris, I want to invite you
to check out my book that I brought
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out a couple of years ago.
It's called Purpose Ignited, How Inspiring Leaders
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Agnite Passion at elve cause it's on
Amazon now and I really wrote it to
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awakened readers to their passion and purpose
and transform them into inspirational leaders who will
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actually elevate people to want to make
them come to work and do their best.
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We use this content as a basis
for their Violin Inspired Leadership program and
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the Granter Gusto Program, So hopefully
check it out. You're just joining us.
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My guest is Chris King. He's
a Peak Peak performance executive coach and
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motivational speaker who's focused on truth.
He's the co author of Renegotiate Your Existence,
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Unlock your impossible life. I'm your
host, doctor Relise Cortes, and
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so I promised a quick story,
and then I have I have several more
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questions for you, young men.
So, speaking of being able to go
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looking for someone, go looking for
a team members, go looking for people
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in our life who we want to
help elevate. I had the great fortune
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of first being recruited by a man
who got me out of my small town
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in northeastern Oregon when I was eighteen
to work for him in his commercial real
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estate development company. And then when
I was just that, within eighteen months,
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he fired me and he told me
that I had to go see the
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world, get an education, and
do something with myself. And the thing
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about that, Chris was the reason
he did that is because he saw so
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much more in me than being his
right arm administrative assistant. He said,
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you could do so much more,
and it would be a crime to keep
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you here. I had no idea
I could do anything beyond what I was
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doing. Right, What a gift, right, So when we go looking
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for people and we help them reach
that potential, we start and help them,
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you know, you know, ache
for it. Right, that's such
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a gift. And I know that's
the work that you're doing. So now
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I have to ask. You know, I know that this doesn't happen overnight,
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but you know I have to ask. I mean, you are You're
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clearly a force, Chris. When
I first talked to you some months ago,
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I knew that. So I want
to understand if you can articulate for
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us what has called you to do
this work that you're doing today. Where
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does this come from? I don't
like being told no. Sorry was that
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my out loud voice. I'm so
not surprised. I don't like being told
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what I can't do. Look,
don't tell me what can't be done.
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Okay, I live in a town
where people pay like thirty dollars for avocado
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toast. I mean, trust me, you can do anything, all right.
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I think that. You know,
my father probably probably the brilliant man,
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the most brilliant man I've ever met
to this day. And I don't
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say that because he's my dad.
I say that because he's probably the brilliant,
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most brilliant man I've ever met.
He's an electromagnetic compatibility engineer okay,
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wow, who never went to college
and barely graduated high school. He's just
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like uber propeller head. Right,
but he would say, you know,
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when I was very young, he
would tell me how recalcitrent I am.
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I love that way, right,
give you an idea of my early education,
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right. So, yeah, I
think that's I just I don't.
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I love to find the odds.
I love an underdog. I love doing
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what can't be done. I love
it when they say there's no way and
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then they look back and go,
how the hell did you do that?
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Hmm? Okay, Now I got
to stop at this point and intervene another
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piece of the juncture in the road. I got to believe that you have
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just had some of the most amazing
experiences helping people, as I say,
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step into their shine and totally trends
in what they thought they could do.
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Can you just maybe give us a
snippet or two of a story or some
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examples of that without giving away an
identity? Of course. Yeah, you
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know there's one. There's a one
of our clients. She called me up.
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She was right after her forty ninth
birthday, and she said, I
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have some goals by the time I'm
fifty, And she said, it's all
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the things that should have happened,
like twenty thirty years ago, and I
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say more about this, she said, Look, I went for my parents'
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house, to my husband's house,
to my girlfriend's house. I've never stood
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on my own. I've stalled out
at work, I'm up against the ceiling.
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It's just it's a mess. I've
never owned a home. I've like
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she had all of these things that
she that. She was just like,
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my life is not what I wanted
it to be. So she and I
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started working together, and I took
her on because she was so on fire,
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like she was so ready, so
terrified, and I'm like, that's
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right where I need you to be
out of your mind, really wanting it
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and willing to work with me to
make it happen. And and she was
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like, I'll do whatever it takes. And it wasn't about money. She
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could nowhere near ford our normal rates, but she was so on fire.
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I'm like, I want to watch
this happen. I don't care what she's
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paying me, what she's not paying
me. Something epic is about to happen,
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and I want to watch that.
That's my selfish shoes, right.
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So we started working together fast.
She got a raise, a promotion,
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and a bonus on top of that, she got out of her fifteen year
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disastrous relationship where she was just completely
codependent and dysfunctional as was her partner.
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She got extracted from that. She
bought a house she's a first time homeowner,
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a place in La and then two
months after all of that happened,
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she a position to open up in
her company in Arizona that she was then
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in talks like would you like to
see about this position? And had she
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gotten it? The home in La
becomes passive income because she rents it out.
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She buys a place in Arizona.
She's literally living in an alternate reality.
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Now the place in the position in
Arizona did not come through, but
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they actually told her, you know
what, you don't want that anyway,
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it's not a good fit. There's
something else happening. So now the wheels
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are turning in a whole new direction. So not only has all this happened,
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but the way she relates to like
something like not getting the job in
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Arizona where it would have created her, she is like, cool, what's
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next? Cool, what's next?
Now? This is normally a several like
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this, This kind of transformation takes
years. Right now nine months, Wow,
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that's awesome, Chris. So I
have this phrase that I like to
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use, and I'll just bet you
can resonate with this. You know,
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the work that we do in developing
people, and when you get to actually
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watch someone's molecules alter themselves in front
of you, transform themselves, it is
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the most magical thing to witness,
is it not. I'm so glad you
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mentioned that, because you know,
people look at us through the lens.
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Oh you're a business coach and okay, sure, But the work that we
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do really does happen in the quantum
field. We're talking about the sub atomic
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We are talking about powers that you
don't know you have. And this is
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again, you know, as Kytler
says, it's leveraging everything. It's getting
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your psychology and your physiology to work
for you instead of against you. And
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if you understand anything about quantum mechanics, about physics, you understand that the
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simple act of watching something has an
effect on the thing you're watching it right
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at the sub atomics. So we
know that this is all science. This
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is not wu hippie nonsense, you
know. So when we talk about law
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of attraction, the power manifestation,
you know, Joe Despenza talks about the
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talks about this. Instead of going
from cause and effect, working hard and
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getting results, you're causing the effect
through positive intention, through neurobiology, through
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energy. Right, everything is energy. You just taught me so much there.
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But most specifically and pointedly is that
there is power and there is being.
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There's something being received when eyewitness somebody
transforming, they get something from my
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witnessing that I don't think I understood
that before. Thank you for that,
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Chris. That is just a gift, no charge, I hope I can't
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afford. Okay, good kid,
good, okay, good, Okay.
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Now we've got to get to what
I teased up before the break here in,
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and that's this little thing about truth
that you that you seem to be
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shall we say, stuck on.
So you say you're focused on truth?
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What do you mean by truth?
And how so well? I look at
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truth through a very new lens even
for me. One of my teachers,
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I don't know if I'm allowed to
say who it is. One of my
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teachers says, this brilliant has this
brilliant thing where she says, truth isn't
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really about fact or not fact.
Did it happen? Did it not happen.
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Truth is a frequency. Oh,
very interesting, because again here I
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am being you know, you know, playing around in you know, quantum
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geek world. Right, and and
so truth is a frequency. It's a
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vibration, it's a resonance. Right, and this is this is different.
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My truth is not your truth.
Right, It's a completely different kind of
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thing. So in our world again, there's no good or bad. Here,
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there's no right or wrong. There's
no true or false. There is
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aligned or aligned. And the trick
is to align everything you have and everything
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you are with where you want to
go, what you want to have,
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the experience you want to create.
Or you are such a you're such an
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eminently quotable guy, Chris, you
really are. I love how you articulate
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your thoughts that. I love that
truth is a frequency. You're welcome.
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That's not mine. I appreciate that
that. Yes, I got that.
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Thank you. However, you did
share it with us, and you're the
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first that I've ever had it shared, have anybody share it with me.
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So thank you for that, and
thank you to your teacher. Okay,
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so next we have to talk about
your pretty darn recent book that you co
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authored. It's pretty amazing renegotiat renegotiate
your life. So first, you know,
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I know what it takes to write
a book, because I've written a
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couple and I'm now working on another
one. And I don't know what I
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what I was thinking when I agreed
to this, But first I got to
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know what compelled you to write the
book. That's the first question. Well,
403
00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:56.880
I've been I've been threatening to write
a book for the better part of
404
00:26:56.880 --> 00:27:03.480
a decade. And the book I
would have written over the years would be
405
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:06.640
different books along the way, none
of them I think I would be proud
406
00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:11.759
of. This one really landed.
It started, as you know, I'm
407
00:27:11.799 --> 00:27:17.359
just gonna write this kind of marketing
piece, and as you can, as
408
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:21.119
you might imagine, there's a lot
of content in here, and getting that
409
00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:25.839
organized was a real challenge. So
so my co author Michael Ashley. He's
410
00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:29.400
brilliant, He's written for Disney's,
his pedigree's ridiculous, and he looks like
411
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:33.960
he's about fifteen years old. It's
kind of annoying, but so he was
412
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:37.440
able to get inside my head and
he just gets me. You know,
413
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:41.000
he's he's done the reinvention thing.
He's been on the hero's journey, you
414
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:45.240
know, like he and I had
walked similar paths, so he was able
415
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.960
to extract all of this from my
head, get it structured and organized so
416
00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:55.519
that I could write something. And
so as I started writing, you know
417
00:27:55.559 --> 00:27:57.480
again, I thought this was going
to be it's a marketing piece, but
418
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:02.680
in the process of I actually started
to give a crap about it, and
419
00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:07.920
that's when everything changed. And so
the book is renegotiate your existence. I
420
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.000
mean, you know, you can
renegotiate contracts, you can renegotiate your job
421
00:28:11.079 --> 00:28:15.839
or your salary, you can renegotiate
your relationships. I'm telling you, you
422
00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:22.279
can renegotiate your entire experience on this
planet if you understand how to do it,
423
00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:27.160
because ultimately, your reality is a
result. It's an end result of
424
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:33.839
a system, and any system can
be hacked, optimized, recoded if you
425
00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:40.039
understand that system. Well enough,
okay, And one of those systems that
426
00:28:40.039 --> 00:28:41.720
I definitely wanted to talk about in
which I alluded to in the beginning of
427
00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:45.359
the show, is you have a
whole chapter entitled taking Ownership of your Beliefs.
428
00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:48.039
And of course that's terribly compelling to
me because I understand the power of
429
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:53.119
beliefs. So what have you learned
about belief formation and how we can change
430
00:28:53.160 --> 00:29:00.640
that formation well through the lens of
responsibility. What is a belief? I
431
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:03.480
can define a belief in one word, it is a choice. Right,
432
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:10.559
As you know, beliefs are choices
that I have not taken responsibility for.
433
00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:15.640
The sad, I take responsibility for
that, for that choice, right,
434
00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:21.000
the second I take responsibility for that
belief. I can choose any belief I
435
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:26.279
want, right and my opportunity if
not obligation. If I'm to be a
436
00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:30.839
good steward of my purpose, a
good steward of my mission, my obligation
437
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:36.880
is to make the choice, select
the belief that aligns with that. So
438
00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:40.039
what I tell clients that want to
buy a house, or want to get
439
00:29:40.039 --> 00:29:41.720
a promotion, or want to launch
a company and sell it to Google for
440
00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:45.599
billions of dollars or whatever. There
are certain luxuries when you work with us
441
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:51.640
at status flow that you cannot afford
anymore. Right, I'm not good enough,
442
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:57.119
I don't deserve it, I'm not
lovable. You cannot afford these luxuries
443
00:29:57.200 --> 00:30:04.640
of playing small in more right,
Once there is awareness, there is choice.
444
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:10.200
Yeah, and so let's talk about
that whole thing of awareness really quick.
445
00:30:10.440 --> 00:30:12.279
It's fascinating, right. We do
so much stuff on autopilot, right,
446
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:15.839
The way we drive our cars,
the way we take a shower,
447
00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:18.359
the way we put our makeup,
on the way we everything, it's on
448
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:22.680
autopilot, right. So the opportunity
is to make those beliefs conscious. Right.
449
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:26.599
See, can you say a bit
about you know, how to help
450
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:30.559
people do that? Well, it's
you know, getting help, right,
451
00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:33.680
I mean, because essentially what you're
talking about is, you know, it's
452
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:37.079
it's like a mechanic working on the
car that he or she is driving.
453
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:42.440
Very difficult to do. You've got
to have some outside perspective. I can
454
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:48.599
tell you this much. Understanding how
you relate to everything is a great is
455
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:52.160
a great way to start understanding what
your beliefs are, because ultimately, the
456
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:57.039
world is a mirror. It is
reflecting back to you everything you think,
457
00:30:57.119 --> 00:31:03.519
everything you feel, everything you believe. Right, Your reality is based started
458
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:07.559
right here and is being reflected back
to you out there. So if you
459
00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:11.680
want to know what you believe about
something, look at something right, Notice
460
00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:15.759
how you feel about it. The
more you cling to a belief, the
461
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:18.200
more charge you're going to have around
it. Just get on social media,
462
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:22.720
have somebody say something you disagree with. Ah, there's a very strongly held
463
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:29.240
belief demonstration number one. Yes,
excellent, Chris. All right, let's
464
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:32.200
grab our last break here. I'm
Elise Cortez, your host. We were
465
00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:34.519
in the air with Chris King.
He's a peak performance executive coach and motivational
466
00:31:34.519 --> 00:31:37.920
speaker who is focused on truth.
We've been talking about just what that means
467
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:42.000
to him, as well as some
of those important navigating beliefs that help guide
468
00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:45.759
whether what we get in life or
whether we don't. After the great will
469
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:48.240
continue the conversation. Stay with us, We'll be right back. Doctor release
470
00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:55.440
Cortes is a management consultant specializing in
meaning and purpose and inspirational speaker and author.
471
00:31:55.799 --> 00:32:01.000
She helps companies visioneer for greater purpose
among stakeholders and developed purpose inspired leadership
472
00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:07.599
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce.
473
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:13.160
To learn more or to invite Elise
to speak to your organization, please
474
00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:16.759
visit her at Elisecortes dot com.
Let's talk about how to get your employees
475
00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:29.839
working on purpose. This is working
on purpose with doctor Elise Cortes to reach
476
00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:34.519
our program today or open a conversation
with Alise. Send an email to Elise
477
00:32:35.079 --> 00:32:44.000
Alise at elisecortes dot com. Now
back to working on Purpose. Thanks for
478
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:45.759
staying with us, and welcome back
to working on purpose. One another reunds.
479
00:32:45.759 --> 00:32:47.920
Before we get back to Chris,
I have to share with you that
480
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:53.000
after spending about two years of putting
together an anthology of women's stories from around
481
00:32:53.079 --> 00:32:57.319
the globe, their story, their
intimate stories and how they've discovered their purpose
482
00:32:57.319 --> 00:33:00.640
are now serving from it. It's
now a label on an Amazon It's called
483
00:33:00.680 --> 00:33:05.000
Passionately Striving and Why. It's twenty
five stories. And so I wrote that
484
00:33:05.039 --> 00:33:07.400
actually ic I curated that, I
should say to be able to help you
485
00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:10.480
find a way to look at those
paths that they took to find their purpose
486
00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:14.400
and see if that helps you find
yours. So you'll help you pick a
487
00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:15.880
copy of that up as well.
Also, by the way, I'm out
488
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:20.039
scouting for men who have discovered their
purpose and want to share that in this
489
00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:22.880
collection as well. So if you
know anybody for this program, for this
490
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:25.200
initiative, let me know as well. If you're just joining us. My
491
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:29.720
guest today is Chris King. He
is a peak performance executive coach and motivational
492
00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:34.200
speaker who's focused on the truth.
He's the co author of Renegotiate Your Existence,
493
00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:37.440
Unlock Your Impossible Life. I'm your
host, doctor Luis Cortes. So,
494
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.480
Chris, just before we went to
that last break, we were talking
495
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:45.039
about beliefs, and so the next
thing I want to do really quick about
496
00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:46.480
that, because I just know the
power pollution, and I love that you've
497
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:50.960
got a whole chapter devoted to this. I want to have you talk to
498
00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:54.000
us a bit about how we can
replace those outdated, unserving beliefs with more
499
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:58.960
productive ones. How do we get
rid of that past garbage. Ooh,
500
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:01.279
that's a tricky one because because we're
talking about a system. You know,
501
00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:05.480
as you know, everybody's got that
operating system in their head that's been running
502
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:07.119
since they're about six years old,
right, you know, you and I'll
503
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:09.719
call it a belief system, right, but it's been running since we're six
504
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:14.159
year old. This is our understanding
of reality. Right. So so this
505
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:20.360
doesn't really change all that easily,
And there are any number of tools to
506
00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:24.719
do this, and some of them
are very subtle. So somebody will say
507
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:28.639
something, this is true, this
is a factor or whatever, and and
508
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:35.360
I like, I like to play
in in the world of absolutes, because
509
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:39.880
very little is absolute. Right,
So when I said something, this is
510
00:34:39.880 --> 00:34:45.599
a fact, is it absolutely true? Like you know who I love?
511
00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:50.440
I love Byron Katie's work on this
Byron Katy in the work. It's brilliant
512
00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:53.840
there there, She's got books and
everything. But there's four questions, right,
513
00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:59.119
So the questions are you know you
have a belief? Is this true?
514
00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:00.480
Question number one? Well, of
course it's true. This is my
515
00:35:00.519 --> 00:35:06.719
experience, this is true. Okay, great? Can I absolutely know this
516
00:35:06.840 --> 00:35:08.719
is true? Okay? Now right
there, the wheels are gonna start to
517
00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:13.559
come off a little bit, because
again, that absolute word gets very tricky.
518
00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:17.519
Right. The next question is what
happens when I tell this story?
519
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:22.079
Right? Well, like the story
that I'm not good enough or I don't
520
00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:27.360
deserve it or somebody doesn't like me
or whatever. Well, I show up
521
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:30.039
in this way or I behave a
certain way, or I have these feelings,
522
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:32.920
right, you know whatever. Then
my favorite question number four, who
523
00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:37.519
would I be without that story?
Ooh? I love that? Yes,
524
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:42.199
I know that one really powerful?
Right. These are very simple kinds of
525
00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:45.480
things, you know, But I
tell you what it boils down to,
526
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:50.239
what if you're wrong? Like,
look, I get it. It's logical.
527
00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:52.360
The neocortex is doing what it does
right, You're logical. It makes
528
00:35:52.360 --> 00:35:55.519
perfect sense. The math plays out, it agrees with your experience. It
529
00:35:55.599 --> 00:36:01.199
makes sense. And what if you're
wrong? There is a way you can
530
00:36:01.239 --> 00:36:05.599
do that? What if there is
a way that you could improve your life
531
00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:08.159
work balance? What if there is
a way that you could take more time
532
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:12.599
off or not have to do emails
on vacation. What if you're wrong?
533
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:15.320
Can your ego handle that? Because
I'll tell you what, I ask this
534
00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:19.239
question of my clients all the time. Do you want to be right or
535
00:36:19.239 --> 00:36:22.079
do you want to be effective?
Do you want to be right? Or
536
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:24.079
do you want to be happy?
Do you want to be right? Or
537
00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:28.519
do you want to actually get what
you say you want? Are you willing
538
00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:35.239
to be wrong in order to do
it? Nicely? Illustrated? I certainly
539
00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:37.920
recognize and in the phrase, and
I'm sure I've uttered it myself. You
540
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.239
know well? The fact of the
matter is you know well, And so
541
00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:46.159
I love you. You're saying and
would you say, are you sure you're
542
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:50.159
And what if you're wrong? What
if you're wrong? And what if you're
543
00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:53.039
wrong, right, because that's a
quote. You know what I said in
544
00:36:53.079 --> 00:36:57.239
the book too. Uh. You
know, if if you argue, if
545
00:36:57.280 --> 00:37:01.320
you argue for your limitations, you
get to keep them, right you could
546
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:06.280
right, Okay, you're right.
Congratulations, you're right. You still have
547
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:09.840
terrible life work balance, right,
Yeah, and you're never going to be
548
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:15.239
amount to anything. You're right,
perfect, Let's celebrate, right, right?
549
00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:19.559
Yeah, I'm too glad you're right
to be right. The problem that
550
00:37:19.559 --> 00:37:22.119
the rest of my life is not
quite what I wanted to do. Yeah.
551
00:37:22.199 --> 00:37:24.639
Yeah, let's let's rewrite that story, shall we. Right. So,
552
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:28.280
another thing that you said that was
really interesting when we first spoke,
553
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:31.000
as you mentioned to me sort of
in passing, and I thought it was
554
00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:36.719
interesting. You said that you generally
find people that you who seek out to
555
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:39.400
work with you in the if you
look at the gender division, is that
556
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:44.920
men are looking for for success and
women are looking for relief. I think
557
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:49.440
that's really interesting. Can you say
more about those general trends? Yeah,
558
00:37:49.480 --> 00:37:52.559
So I'm gonna use binary genders because
number one, it's it's ease of conversation.
559
00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:59.039
Number two, it's statistically accurate.
So so the men that approach us
560
00:37:59.159 --> 00:38:02.280
are. It's the way that men
and women seem to, in my experience,
561
00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:07.360
in the experience of the organization,
relate to their worlds and their work.
562
00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:12.199
Okay, as a man of my
generation, I am pretty high on
563
00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:15.480
my priority list, like top three
most I'm a gen X or top three
564
00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:19.440
most of the time. Right.
Yeah. Ye. A woman in our
565
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:22.880
target demo say, you know,
mid thirties to early fifties, she is
566
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:28.519
dead last on her priority list.
Yeah yeah. Everything else, the job
567
00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:30.599
and the kids, and the house
and her mom and the car and all
568
00:38:30.679 --> 00:38:34.920
the things come first, and she
ends up getting leftovers of her own life.
569
00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:39.519
So men come to us, they're
business owners. They want more efficiency,
570
00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:44.519
more productivity, more it's very masculine
drive more success as they define that.
571
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.960
Women are looking for more relief.
And one of my teachers, doctor
572
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.039
Robert Holden, says something that's so
beautiful, and I've used this as and
573
00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:55.440
it says, if it seems like
there's something missing from your life, it's
574
00:38:55.559 --> 00:39:00.719
probably you. Oh that's great.
Yes. And so the women that come
575
00:39:00.760 --> 00:39:04.239
to us, and that's why a
phrase it is life work balance. They
576
00:39:04.239 --> 00:39:07.239
need better life work balance, not
work life balance, but life work balance.
577
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:10.559
Like their businesses and their lives are
running them instead of the other way
578
00:39:10.599 --> 00:39:16.000
around. The hamster will completely turned
that around right, put them back in
579
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:20.280
the driver's seat of empowerment. So
I want to I want to give a
580
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:22.960
phrase that I've used before, Chris, and listeners and viewers just listen to
581
00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:24.880
this because it's it's really got some
power, especially if you find yourself at
582
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:30.280
the bottom of the heap. So
if you are literally settling for the used
583
00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:34.920
coffee grounds of your own life,
yet you serve a fresh brewed cup of
584
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:37.639
yourself to everyone else you encounter,
what's going on here? Who's winning here?
585
00:39:38.239 --> 00:39:42.760
Used coffee grounds of your own life? Or or or putting that up
586
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:45.719
with somebody else that you expect to
be on a higher playing field with you.
587
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:49.760
That is such a powerful I love
coffee, by the way, but
588
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:52.719
you know when I look at those
grounds that get thrown away in the garbage
589
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:54.320
can at the end the end of
the experience, it's not where I want
590
00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:59.519
to be, right, And that
therein lies the reflection. Remember I said
591
00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:01.840
the world is a mirror, right, So what is this reflecting back to
592
00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:07.920
you? What is the script that
drives that that paradigm? I don't deserve
593
00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:12.360
it they're more important. My needs
are less than like, look at what
594
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:16.719
we're telling ourselves through the lens of
Oh I'm so generous. No, there's
595
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:21.159
no, there's no nobility in being
the martyr. Okay, that's a victim
596
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:25.039
construct. We don't do victim here
ever, right, So being the martyr
597
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:29.119
is not you know, it's the
aircraft thing. Put your mask on first,
598
00:40:29.559 --> 00:40:31.440
right, right? Well, and
then I think there's also this other
599
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:35.039
thing right that. So I'm sure
you encountered this all the time, Chris,
600
00:40:35.079 --> 00:40:37.679
it's the whole imposter syndrome. But
what if people what if people recognize
601
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:40.719
I really shouldn't be doing this job. I really don't know what I'm doing,
602
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:44.639
and you know something, there's this
idea that I don't really deserve this
603
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:49.679
anyway, right, I mean,
I know you encounter that. Yeah,
604
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:52.360
that's we run into imposters. I
mean, shoot, I've done it right,
605
00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:57.400
Like I was locked into that for
years. You know, even when
606
00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:00.519
I started working in the Neuroscience Institute, there were these people that were way
607
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:06.920
above me in terms of pedigree,
in terms of tenure, and there were
608
00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:09.039
some people that were doing like even
the corporate organization. I mean, you
609
00:41:09.079 --> 00:41:13.320
know how corporate works. Corporate doesn't
always do the smartest things right. And
610
00:41:13.400 --> 00:41:15.480
I was like, there's got to
be somebody smarter than me up that food
611
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:19.840
chain. That seems how dumb this
is and apparently not right, you know,
612
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:23.480
so, and I'd tell you there's
and and again it's all about tools,
613
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:27.880
you know, for us in my
organization, it's all about what are
614
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:30.000
the tools that we need to use
right to start employing. And so if
615
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.840
somebody is saying, oh, I'm
not good enough for a Honda Accord,
616
00:41:34.880 --> 00:41:37.039
I'm just going to go for that
Honda Civic. I said, if you're
617
00:41:37.039 --> 00:41:38.719
telling yourself you're not good enough for
the Honda Accord, launch up to that
618
00:41:38.760 --> 00:41:45.000
Mercedes, I go the other way
with this, you know yeah, I
619
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:49.400
just I so appreciate the empowerment stance. And then another thing that we have
620
00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:52.239
to talk about, because this is
working on purpose after all, is you
621
00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:54.079
said to me in the exchange that
we had that you do not use the
622
00:41:54.119 --> 00:41:59.039
word purpose, but rather you prefer
to help people align with their own magnetic
623
00:41:59.119 --> 00:42:05.159
north w is just delicious. So
say more about that. Well, look,
624
00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:10.519
I don't have advice for anybody.
Nobody is qualified to tell you what
625
00:42:10.719 --> 00:42:14.639
to do. I know, a
lot of people think there are right and
626
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:16.280
look, there are consultants, you
know. And what I say to people
627
00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:19.679
is like, if when you don't
know what you don't know, hire a
628
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:22.760
consultant. When you don't know what
you do know, hire a coach.
629
00:42:23.800 --> 00:42:30.320
Because consultants have answers, coaches have
questions. And it's all about a listening
630
00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:37.119
insight because as we sit here right
now, you have every answer to every
631
00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:40.880
question, every solution to every problem
that you are ever going to run into
632
00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.920
for your entire life is in there
somewhere. So it's not a question of
633
00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:49.599
knowing or not knowing. It's a
question of access. I don't have to
634
00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:52.440
figure out your answer for you,
because you have it. What I got
635
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:57.159
to figure out is what's the barrier, what is stopping you from accessing what
636
00:42:57.239 --> 00:43:00.960
you don't know you know? And
once we figure out how to access that,
637
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:04.440
what do I need to do to
support you in relating to that and
638
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:07.960
then aligning it with the outcome that
you're looking for. I'm not in the
639
00:43:07.000 --> 00:43:09.760
advice business. The coaches that work
for me or not in the advice business.
640
00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:13.639
We are here to figure out how
to give you, how do you
641
00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:15.440
get you to give you your advice
and then support you if you're doing what
642
00:43:15.559 --> 00:43:19.199
you don't already know you need to
do but you're about to find out.
643
00:43:19.599 --> 00:43:22.159
Mm hmm. Yeah. And the
other thing that I think that that that
644
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:27.639
we we both do because I do
more consulting inside organizations than I do coaching,
645
00:43:27.719 --> 00:43:30.199
So we have a complementarity here.
But what I also find is that
646
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:34.239
when I'm working with my leaders,
even one on one, if I'm doing
647
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:36.960
a program sete an organization and then
I also work with leaders, what I
648
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:39.440
find is that when we have our
time together, or if you want to
649
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:43.760
call it a coaching session, what
I find is that that session alone,
650
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:47.360
that time that they've set aside for
themselves already is an opening for them because
651
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:51.159
they don't usually do that for themselves. Right, So this is a this
652
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:53.360
is a it's a dance floor that
they don't usually allow themselves to step onto.
653
00:43:54.239 --> 00:43:59.199
So already there's a different there's all, there's a different listening for themselves.
654
00:43:59.400 --> 00:44:01.719
There's a different listening to me,
uh and and to our exchange.
655
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:06.920
Right, It's just it's it is. It's glorious. It's a glorious place
656
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:09.239
to get to be with somebody.
Yeah, yeah, it really is you
657
00:44:09.239 --> 00:44:13.519
get access in a way that that
most people don't. Well, you know
658
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:15.239
what I've come to understand from me, Chris, is what I what I
659
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:19.639
realized is that I wanted. I
want I want to I want to chew
660
00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:22.159
on the barrow, the marrow of
the bone of life, right, I
661
00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:28.119
want the substance. And so these
conversations are intimate. You know, there's
662
00:44:28.199 --> 00:44:32.000
we're not talking about superficial things that
anybody can talk about. We're talking about
663
00:44:32.039 --> 00:44:37.400
the intimate stuff of their lives and
their hopes and their dreams. That's where
664
00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:40.159
I want to be. Yeah.
Yeah, that's that's where the magic is.
665
00:44:40.199 --> 00:44:45.239
That's where the brilliance is. That's
that's where the truth is. M
666
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:47.559
m. Back to that beautiful word
truth. Okay, So we're coming to
667
00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:51.239
the close here. It happens.
It goes by so fast, especially when
668
00:44:51.280 --> 00:44:53.039
we have a good, interesting,
lively, energetic conversation like this course.
669
00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:59.320
So the atmosphere sometimes yeah, yeah, no, I love it. It's
670
00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:01.599
great. So I have one have
two more questions for you. This next
671
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:05.880
question is, you know, if
you have another story or something else you
672
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:08.840
can share with this, because those
stories gives us give as access to how
673
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:13.360
it is that you help people what
they present when they try to, you
674
00:45:13.400 --> 00:45:16.360
know, get enrolled with you and
help from you. Another story maybe,
675
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:20.920
well, I had a client that, you know, I want to tell
676
00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:22.880
a different one, actually very similar. There's some that are the really hard
677
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:27.559
kind of stuff. I have a
client right now and we're about I think
678
00:45:27.559 --> 00:45:34.599
we're about halfway through, you know, the committed program, and he's he's
679
00:45:34.599 --> 00:45:38.960
about he's about my age, about
fifty, and he's he's sort of been
680
00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:44.760
on this hamster wheel in his personal
life in terms of dating. He's still
681
00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:50.639
had a very youthful orientation towards it. And you know, there's there's just
682
00:45:50.639 --> 00:45:57.199
some alignment problems with really like how
do I say this locking in somebody that
683
00:45:58.480 --> 00:46:04.440
is aligned with the lifestyle that he's
looking for, and you know, because
684
00:46:04.440 --> 00:46:07.039
he wants it, wants stable,
it wants grounded and all this kind of
685
00:46:07.079 --> 00:46:15.480
stuff. But he kept chasing after
really dysfunctional, toxic relationships. And now
686
00:46:15.079 --> 00:46:19.639
there are a lot of assumptions we
can make about his child or whatever.
687
00:46:20.480 --> 00:46:23.679
Ultimately it boils down to his relationship
with his father, strangely enough, so
688
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:30.000
it was this approval seeking kind of
thing, right, and so when he
689
00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:34.559
realized, you know, what I'm
going to insert myself into a situation that
690
00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:39.360
and into a framework where I'm going
to be with a toxic person who will
691
00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:45.800
never approve of me, that I
can continue to chase the approval and never
692
00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:47.760
get it. Because this was his
relationship with his father, right, His
693
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:52.480
father died less than a year ago. So now he's introducing people to replace
694
00:46:52.559 --> 00:46:54.840
Dad to be the disapproval kind of
thing. And here's the weird thing,
695
00:46:54.920 --> 00:47:02.039
right, is that part of what
seems like it might be happening right now
696
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:09.639
is that this piece of him is
really scared of the ego death. And
697
00:47:09.679 --> 00:47:15.960
I know you understand this, right, because what happens when the chase for
698
00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:22.400
approval is over that piece has no
purpose according to that piece, right,
699
00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:28.280
that aspect of his persona, and
is going to resist that. It's going
700
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:30.360
to survival, right, This little
piece of his psyche needs to survive,
701
00:47:30.440 --> 00:47:32.079
so it needs to be on the
hamster wheel. It's like, look,
702
00:47:32.960 --> 00:47:37.880
maybe it's time, right, Maybe
maybe it's time to let dad go.
703
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:39.360
Maybe it's time to let this go, maybe, you know. And so
704
00:47:39.480 --> 00:47:45.400
he's in a really uncomfortable place right
now, and it's a real soft spot,
705
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:50.440
and it's so beautiful to watch this
strong you know, burly guy.
706
00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:53.639
He's just man's man. You know
he can slam two by fours together and
707
00:47:53.719 --> 00:47:58.239
just be in this soft, beautiful
space where he's so gentle with himself.
708
00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:04.559
It's just watching his transformation. It's
just such. It's the most honoring thing
709
00:48:04.599 --> 00:48:07.119
I can think of. I can't
imagine doing anything else with my life.
710
00:48:07.159 --> 00:48:09.400
It's such. I'm so honored to
witness this stuff. Chris. That's so
711
00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:12.880
beautiful. What a great way to
finish and where we're at the close here,
712
00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:15.280
but this show is to listen to
by people around the world. What
713
00:48:15.320 --> 00:48:21.199
would like to leave them with?
Say in like fifteen seconds or so fifteen
714
00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:25.920
seconds what if you're wrong? Ah, great way to finish, beautiful,
715
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:29.639
Chris. You are a delight and
a gift to the world. I'm so
716
00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:30.679
glad to know you and have you
in my life. Thank you for being
717
00:48:30.679 --> 00:48:34.280
on the show and sharing yourself,
your thoughts, in your heart with our
718
00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:37.480
listeners and viewers across the world.
My pleasure. Thank you so much for
719
00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:39.840
having me. It's been a pleasure
absolutely, listeners and viewers. If you
720
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:43.480
want to learn more about Chris King, his work, his book, start
721
00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:47.360
by visiting his website statusflow dot net. Last week you missed the live show,
722
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:51.679
you always catch a you recorded podcast
We run here with doctor Rick Garlic
723
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:55.119
talking about some of the factors contributing
to the great resignation plaguing organizations across the
724
00:48:55.119 --> 00:49:00.000
world, and how pride in the
work we do elevates engagement and performance.
725
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:02.840
Next week, we'll be in there
with Amy Herman talking about her book Fixed,
726
00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:07.320
How to Perfect the Fine Art of
Problem solving. See you there.
727
00:49:07.320 --> 00:49:09.920
Remember that works at least a thor
in our life. So let's work on
728
00:49:09.960 --> 00:49:15.679
purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this
week's program. Be sure to tune in
729
00:49:15.679 --> 00:49:21.400
too. Working on Purpose featuring your
host, Doctor Elise Cortes each week on
730
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:27.119
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. Together, we'll create a world where business operates
731
00:49:27.159 --> 00:49:34.320
conscientiously, leadership inspires impassioned performance,
and employees are fulfilled in work that provides
732
00:49:34.360 --> 00:49:38.440
the meaning and purpose they crave.
See you there, Let's work on Purpose.





















































