Achieving You and Your Team’s Impossible Goals Through Flow

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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential business can be such

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a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want Working

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on purpose. Now. Here is
your host, doctor Elise Cortes. Welcome

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back to the Working on Purpose Program. Thanks for tuning in again this week.

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I'm your host, doctor Leuse Cortez. Join you live from Dallas,

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which is home base for me.
If you don't know me yet, I'm

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a management consultant specializing in meaning and
purpose, organizational logotherapist, inspirational speaker,

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social scientist, and author. My
team and I help companies discover and articulate

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their purpose to throw it through culture
and our operations. And we work but

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forward thinking or forward reaching organizations to
develop inspirational leaders who create cultures where people

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actually want to come to work and
do their best. And we provide programs

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like the grab your gust that enable
individual team members to discover and unleash their

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passion and purpose at work to catalyze
fulfillment, engagement, in productivity. You

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can learn more about us and how
we can work together at at least coortes

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dot com. With us today is
Chris King. He's a peak performance executive

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coach and motivational speaker who is focused
on truth. He's the co author of

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Renegotiate Your Existence, Unlock Your Impossible
Life. We'll be talking about what he's

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learned about how we form beliefs and
how they serve or don't service, and

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the work he does to help people
to quickly achieve impossible goals through flow.

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You don't You Today from Plaid Common
in Mexico, where he spends about half

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of the year. Normally he's in
Los Angeles. Chris, welcome to Working

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on Purpose. Thank you so much
for having me. I'm grateful to be

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here. I'm so glad I found
you. You are minding your very own

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business when someone sent me to knock
on your door, and I'm very happy

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that that happened. So great to
meet You're great to have you on Chris.

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Are you ready? I'm ready?
I think you are just a little

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bit of energy. Yeah right,
I think you had enough coffee today.

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I think you're right extra natural lull. To be honest with you, I

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know this about you. Yeah,
just you're You're the human spark plug.

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So right right, And they asked
me what my sign is, I say,

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neon. You know that's so great. All right, so let's get

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right into this now. For people
who don't know what you do your world,

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you're a peak performance executive coach and
obviously a motivationial speaker. So first,

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what do you mean by peak performance? I just had a conversation with

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somebody else about something that I thought
was so mainstream, which is conscious capitalism,

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and then this whole idea of what
that was. So maybe we have

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a different idea about what you do
peak performance. How do you describe it?

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Yeah, well, you know,
the thing is, and I get

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some feedback on this, like,
you know, peak is spelled really weird

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on your website. Yeah, that's
not a typo. It's it's that way

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p is p i q u e. Because what we're talking about, yes,

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we are talking about exponential increases in
velocity in creativity. We're talking about

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lowering stress levels. We're talking about
everybody in the organization being a high performer.

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But the work that we do and
the way we do the way we

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do it is particularly disruptive. It's
an assault on the ego. So peak

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is very upsetting. It is uncomfortable
work, quite simply. It is not

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for the faint of heart. But
it's always worth it. When I say

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that the juice is always worth the
squeeze, I love that. Okay,

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So right out of the gate,
of course, I have to just rive

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it in on the idea of impossible
goals. I have done some work for

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around transformation and innovation and this idea
of people say well we can't do that.

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There's just big can't do that performance
barrier, and there's something for you,

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you do something. There's something about
this whole thing about impossible goals.

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Why impossible goals, Chris, Well, because we can achieve so much more

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than we think we can, you
know, and and you know the Navy

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seals talk about this, the twenty
x rules. Right, you can achieve

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twenty times more than you think you
can. If your life depended on If

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you think you can run a mile, you can probably run twenty. And

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and when we stretch beyond what we
think is possible. You know, maybe

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we don't get all the way to
the impossible that we thought we would,

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that we hoped we get to,
but we get a lot farther. So

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focusing on possible is already limiting yourself. That is very distinguishing. I love

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that. Okay, So you already
mentioned something about I think it was some

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kind of a torture technique that you
used it to fulfill these results. Are

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just kidding your methodology. Speak to
a little bit of your methodology, please,

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Well, it's difficult to say it's
my methodology, right. This is

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all based in science. Essentially,
it's a combination of who I am,

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what I've learned, and how I'm
applying it. Right. When I was

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a kid in grade school, every
teacher I ever had told me I was

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disruptive. Well, I couldn't agree
more, to be honest with you,

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because that's where the process starts.
It's we're going to disrupt everything that's happening

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in an organization and within an individual. Peak performance through our lens is nothing

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more than getting your psychology and your
physiology to work for you instead of against

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you. So you mentioned the whole
cant thing right, somebody says I can't.

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Well, there's like a neurochemical cocktail
associated that with the mental framework behind

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that. So in our work,
it is about aligning everything you have and

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everything you are with the outcomes that
you're looking for. Your thoughts, your

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feelings, your actions, All of
your resources, time, money, energy,

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everything you've got physical space, all
of this can be aligned and purpose

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towards an outcome. So it's all
about leverage, right. A lot of

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performance organizations talk about efficiency or productivity. We look through the lens of leverage,

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how do we get a whole lot
more using a whole lot less.

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So as you're speaking, one of
the things I'm very present to Chris because

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I do some of that work as
well, is I can imagine a couple

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of different scenarios as you're doing the
work that you're doing. One is that

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you're creating an environment, a situation
of possibility for people to step into and

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see themselves more than they could see
themselves before. So you're helping that maybe

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add a lens to their viewing perspective. That's one possibility. The other possibility

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is that you in their narration of
who they are and what they rope to

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and how they go about life.
You can start to notice, Wow,

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do you recognize that you actually do
this differently than other people? Do you

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cross this river in a whole different
way somebody else does? So I kind

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of can imagine a couple of ways
that you go about elevating and enlightening people

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to this impossibility mindset. Can you
speak a little bit more to know how

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you do it? Well? As
I said, the first thing is to

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disrupt everything because and then it's a
process of accountability. This is where things

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start to get really uncomfortable. Right, we look through the lens of one

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hundred percent response ability. Okay,
we don't work in a world of blame

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and fault. That's that's old school
kind of thinking. Right. When we

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look at responsibility, think of it
as a hyphenated word, right, response

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hyphen ability your ability to respond to
something. And what we do is we

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couple that with the idea of ownership. When we have responsibility for something,

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we have ownership of it. So
think about your cell phone for a second.

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If it's sitting on the table,
it's not your phone. You you

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have no power to affect that.
The second you take ownership of that and

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it becomes yours. You empower yourself
to affect it, to do something with

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it. So what we'll do is
with it, whether it's an an individual

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or a team, we're going to
disrupt their existing patterns, bring conscious awareness

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to them, and disrupt them.
Then we're going to go through We're going

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to look at everything through the lens
of one hundred percent responsibility ownership for the

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situation or for the goal, or
whatever it is we're trying to do.

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Then what we're going to do is
we're going to start doing behavior modification.

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And you're you're actually going to know
probably more about this than I am,

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right, because behavior modification is the
key part. But if we can set

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conditions and behaviors in the organization,
we can start to produce these exponent exponential

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increases in speed and creativity and eliminate
stress levels. And this is what is

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known as flow. This is what
athletes call being in the zone or runners

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high. It's all driven by your
natural neurochemistry. Anybody can get into a

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flow state if you set the conditions
and behaviors to so that it's a flow

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rich environment. It basically becomes the
natural end result of setting the stage for

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it okay, awesome. Two things. Oh, So when I hear the

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word response ability, especially in the
hyphenated format, I go to logo therapy.

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Are you versed at all in loco
therapy? In Victor Frankel's work I've

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read Okay, no is the short
answer. I'm familiar with it. I

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will say this much. One of
my colleagues is a man named Tom Drucker,

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who who's just a very sweet and
brilliant man. He's got a very

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extensive and impressive career and it all
started when when he worked for Victor Frankel

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way back when. And so I
read man Search for Meeting, you know,

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and after working with Frankele he was
actually mentored by Maslow himself. So

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his pedigree is ridiculous. Oh I'm
so envious. Yeah, okay, because

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that's definitely bled over for sure.
Because I am a local therapist, that's

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the Victor Frankel space, and so
I immediately registered that. And the second

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point I definitely want to make about
your methodology your approach that I love is

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it's empowering right when you can be
you can help people understand that no,

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no, no, no, you
are a response able for this. You

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can this is within your reach that
he is empowering and I really really admire

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and appreciate that. Well, thank
you. It's it was a painful lesson

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that I learned. Actually, well
that's where I wanted to go next.

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My friend. You know, you
can run for me, but you can't

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hide because I'm an identity researcher.
So you know, I have to.

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I got to get the goods on
just how it is that you became this

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human being that you can do this
work today. So what's the story A

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little bit of a you know,
a narration of how it was that you

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that you got into the world of
work and how you land where you are

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today. Yeah, that okay.
So the cliffs notes is, you know,

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I did a master's program in spiritual
psychology and I saw that I went

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to hippie school as I like to
call it, uh a, you know,

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And I've and I've trained and collaborated
with the best you know, Stephen

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Cotler's organization, the Flow Research Collective, Jamie Whale at the Flow Genome Project.

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I've trained with retired and actually actively
currently trained with retired US Navy seals.

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I mean, this is these are
all organizations that are oriented around performance.

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Now I have a very long and
and intimate relationship with flow itself.

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I was an ice hockey player.
I was I was trained how to race

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go cards and cars when I was
a kid, so I understand what it

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means to be in the zone.
I didn't really know that, you know

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what, how that worked in terms
of the neurobiology behind it. I learned

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that much later. But ultimately this
became the delivery vehicle for anything that I

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wanted in my life. Because my
my life, you know, I didn't

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come out of a box this way. I was a disaster. I grew

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up in a very privileged neighborhood in
a very scary house. And so so

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at one point I realized, while
none of my childhood history or any of

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this was my fault, all of
it was my responsibility. And that was

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when I started to sort of,
you know, renegotiate my my life on

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this planet. So I have another
perspective that I want to share with you

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and just sort of try this on. So I have this thing when I

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do, when I do my strengths, find your workshops. I always ask

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the crowd. When you were a
kid, somebody you got you were told

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by a few people that you're too
whatever, and as there's always a negative

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attip afterward too, and people will
readily, you know, can produce you

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know a few words or you know
one in particular that come after weard too

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you said your teacher said that you
were a disruptor, disruptive. Yeah,

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they said I was diptive. That's
it, right, that is that that's

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who you you the role you've been
playing in the world, right, And

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and so you disrupted even you know, even your own home ustasis in your

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own home, and you know,
by by recognizing that you weren't the victim

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to it, you were responsible for
it. And and here you are disrupting

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lives tremendously by helping people achieve the
impossible. I mean, that is a

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disruptor, Chris. And so I
think it's really interesting when you start to

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peel back and you can see that
this stuff has been with us forever,

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right, Yeah, it's just a
matter how to your point, how do

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we express it? And what vehicle
do we use to be able to serve

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from it? Yeah? How do
you relate to whatever it is? You

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know, like, how you relate
to the issue is the issue? I

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was told I was disruptive. I
told that I talked too much. I

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was told that people would pay me
to shut up. Well, when I

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started, you know, to realize
that this was actually a good thing.

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Now they pay me not to mm
hmm, you know, yeah, pay

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you not to not to shut up
because you're you know, so it's it

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is rather comical that you are a
motivational speaker as well. Right, so,

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and so this is what I find
so fascinating about life. Somehow we

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can, you know, pay attention
to the voices that actually help us find

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our way and ignore those people that
may be well intentioned or just misguided.

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And you know, forget those that
told you, you know, that you're

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too disruptive and you know, too
talkative and to be quiet. Right,

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imagine if you had heeded those those
words. Oh I did for a long

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time, you know, I shut
myself down. I stopped talking. I

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really went into a shell. I
mean, there are any numbers of strategies,

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uh, you know, because this
was not accepted by my peer group.

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And I will tell you what I've
learned is that everything, everything about

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you is a gift. And if
you do not see it that way,

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you have simply misidentified it. There's
nothing wrong with you. Okay. I

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know right now somebody is going,
there's totally these things wrong with me.

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No, you're wrong. It's a
misidentification. Nothing is wrong with you.

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You are perfectly There is an architecture
to you that is perfectly designed to fulfill

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whatever your purpose, whatever your mission, whatever that thing is. You just

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need to figure out how do I
recognize this for the gift that it is

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and how do I put it into
service. I completely agree and have to

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tell a story on that front.
So my daughter, who's now nineteen,

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when she was a kid, Chris
like, I'm gonna call it, you

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know, I don't know, five
six seven or so, her dad and

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they are having a conversation, and
he said, very very you know,

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dramatically, he said, she could
be anything she wants to be in life,

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as long as she's an investment banker
or an account And I went,

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h this is a CPA speaking by
the way, I said, you know,

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I don't know, have you just
sort of watched this kid at all

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lately? You know, this is
a kid who literally she walks out the

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back patty of door, she throws
the door, and she braces into the

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wind. She goes, Mama,
do you smell that breeze? And I'm

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just like, she's so sensate.
I don't know, I just don't quite

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say it. How About instead I
was signing her away? How about instead

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we go looking for who she really
is in the world and discover her unique

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nuances and help her find a way
to make that work in the world.

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He said, sounds dumb, but
I'll go with it, And during his

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credit he did go with it,
and we discovered that this little six seven

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year old decided she'd wanted to be, no surprise, a chef, so

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she had her own website, she
had her own business cards said Gabby's Kastronomy,

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and she would make things and go
someone on the weekend with them,

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many telling or anything. She outgrew
that, but we did. We just

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watched her. Just we went looking
for her. And it wouldn't it be

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amazing if employers did that for all
of their team members, if parents did

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that for all of their their for
their kids, right, that would be

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the thing, right? So I
think you and I both stand for that.

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But there's there's a story that I
can't help but pass on. Given

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what you just said, that's a
beautiful story. I'm glad you shared that

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because you're right. I think I
think leadership, I think parenting is a

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process of discovery and then sell it. You'll find a way to make that

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work. I'll have a nother story
for you after the break, but let's

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grab our first. Break already goes
so fast. I'm doctor Release Cortes.

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We're on the air with Chris King. He is a peak performance executive coach

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and motivational speaker who is focused on
truth. We've been talking a bit about

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his journey of how he got to
be where he is today, some of

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the things he does in his work. After the rik, we're going to

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continue peeling back those layers and hear
more about this thing about truth. Stay

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with us, We'll be right back. Doctor Elise Cortes is a management consultant

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specializing in meaning and purpose and inspirational
speaker and author. She helps companies visioneer

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for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop
purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that

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elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment
within the workforce. To learn more or

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to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot

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com. Let's talk about how to
get your employees working on purpose. This

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00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:06.920
is Working on Purpose with doctor Elise
Cortes. To reach our program today or

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00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:14.079
open a conversation with Elise, send
an email to Alise Alise at elisecortes dot

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00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:19.119
com. Now back to working on
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us,

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and welcome back to the program.
Before we get back into the content with

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Chris, I want to invite you
to check out my book that I brought

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out a couple of years ago.
It's called Purpose Ignited, How Inspiring Leaders

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Agnite Passion at elve cause it's on
Amazon now and I really wrote it to

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awakened readers to their passion and purpose
and transform them into inspirational leaders who will

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actually elevate people to want to make
them come to work and do their best.

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We use this content as a basis
for their Violin Inspired Leadership program and

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the Granter Gusto Program, So hopefully
check it out. You're just joining us.

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My guest is Chris King. He's
a Peak Peak performance executive coach and

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motivational speaker who's focused on truth.
He's the co author of Renegotiate Your Existence,

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Unlock your impossible life. I'm your
host, doctor Relise Cortes, and

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so I promised a quick story,
and then I have I have several more

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questions for you, young men.
So, speaking of being able to go

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looking for someone, go looking for
a team members, go looking for people

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in our life who we want to
help elevate. I had the great fortune

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of first being recruited by a man
who got me out of my small town

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in northeastern Oregon when I was eighteen
to work for him in his commercial real

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estate development company. And then when
I was just that, within eighteen months,

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he fired me and he told me
that I had to go see the

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world, get an education, and
do something with myself. And the thing

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about that, Chris was the reason
he did that is because he saw so

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much more in me than being his
right arm administrative assistant. He said,

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you could do so much more,
and it would be a crime to keep

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you here. I had no idea
I could do anything beyond what I was

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doing. Right, What a gift, right, So when we go looking

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for people and we help them reach
that potential, we start and help them,

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you know, you know, ache
for it. Right, that's such

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a gift. And I know that's
the work that you're doing. So now

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I have to ask. You know, I know that this doesn't happen overnight,

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but you know I have to ask. I mean, you are You're

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clearly a force, Chris. When
I first talked to you some months ago,

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I knew that. So I want
to understand if you can articulate for

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us what has called you to do
this work that you're doing today. Where

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does this come from? I don't
like being told no. Sorry was that

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my out loud voice. I'm so
not surprised. I don't like being told

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what I can't do. Look,
don't tell me what can't be done.

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Okay, I live in a town
where people pay like thirty dollars for avocado

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toast. I mean, trust me, you can do anything, all right.

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I think that. You know,
my father probably probably the brilliant man,

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the most brilliant man I've ever met
to this day. And I don't

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say that because he's my dad.
I say that because he's probably the brilliant,

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most brilliant man I've ever met.
He's an electromagnetic compatibility engineer okay,

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wow, who never went to college
and barely graduated high school. He's just

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like uber propeller head. Right,
but he would say, you know,

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when I was very young, he
would tell me how recalcitrent I am.

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I love that way, right,
give you an idea of my early education,

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right. So, yeah, I
think that's I just I don't.

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I love to find the odds.
I love an underdog. I love doing

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what can't be done. I love
it when they say there's no way and

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then they look back and go,
how the hell did you do that?

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Hmm? Okay, Now I got
to stop at this point and intervene another

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piece of the juncture in the road. I got to believe that you have

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just had some of the most amazing
experiences helping people, as I say,

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step into their shine and totally trends
in what they thought they could do.

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Can you just maybe give us a
snippet or two of a story or some

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examples of that without giving away an
identity? Of course. Yeah, you

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know there's one. There's a one
of our clients. She called me up.

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She was right after her forty ninth
birthday, and she said, I

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have some goals by the time I'm
fifty, And she said, it's all

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the things that should have happened,
like twenty thirty years ago, and I

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say more about this, she said, Look, I went for my parents'

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house, to my husband's house,
to my girlfriend's house. I've never stood

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on my own. I've stalled out
at work, I'm up against the ceiling.

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It's just it's a mess. I've
never owned a home. I've like

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she had all of these things that
she that. She was just like,

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my life is not what I wanted
it to be. So she and I

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started working together, and I took
her on because she was so on fire,

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like she was so ready, so
terrified, and I'm like, that's

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right where I need you to be
out of your mind, really wanting it

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and willing to work with me to
make it happen. And and she was

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like, I'll do whatever it takes. And it wasn't about money. She

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could nowhere near ford our normal rates, but she was so on fire.

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I'm like, I want to watch
this happen. I don't care what she's

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paying me, what she's not paying
me. Something epic is about to happen,

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and I want to watch that.
That's my selfish shoes, right.

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So we started working together fast.
She got a raise, a promotion,

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and a bonus on top of that, she got out of her fifteen year

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disastrous relationship where she was just completely
codependent and dysfunctional as was her partner.

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She got extracted from that. She
bought a house she's a first time homeowner,

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a place in La and then two
months after all of that happened,

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she a position to open up in
her company in Arizona that she was then

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in talks like would you like to
see about this position? And had she

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gotten it? The home in La
becomes passive income because she rents it out.

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She buys a place in Arizona.
She's literally living in an alternate reality.

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Now the place in the position in
Arizona did not come through, but

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they actually told her, you know
what, you don't want that anyway,

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it's not a good fit. There's
something else happening. So now the wheels

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are turning in a whole new direction. So not only has all this happened,

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but the way she relates to like
something like not getting the job in

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Arizona where it would have created her, she is like, cool, what's

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next? Cool, what's next?
Now? This is normally a several like

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this, This kind of transformation takes
years. Right now nine months, Wow,

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that's awesome, Chris. So I
have this phrase that I like to

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use, and I'll just bet you
can resonate with this. You know,

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the work that we do in developing
people, and when you get to actually

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watch someone's molecules alter themselves in front
of you, transform themselves, it is

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the most magical thing to witness,
is it not. I'm so glad you

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mentioned that, because you know,
people look at us through the lens.

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Oh you're a business coach and okay, sure, But the work that we

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do really does happen in the quantum
field. We're talking about the sub atomic

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We are talking about powers that you
don't know you have. And this is

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again, you know, as Kytler
says, it's leveraging everything. It's getting

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your psychology and your physiology to work
for you instead of against you. And

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if you understand anything about quantum mechanics, about physics, you understand that the

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simple act of watching something has an
effect on the thing you're watching it right

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at the sub atomics. So we
know that this is all science. This

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is not wu hippie nonsense, you
know. So when we talk about law

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of attraction, the power manifestation,
you know, Joe Despenza talks about the

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talks about this. Instead of going
from cause and effect, working hard and

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getting results, you're causing the effect
through positive intention, through neurobiology, through

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energy. Right, everything is energy. You just taught me so much there.

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But most specifically and pointedly is that
there is power and there is being.

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There's something being received when eyewitness somebody
transforming, they get something from my

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witnessing that I don't think I understood
that before. Thank you for that,

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Chris. That is just a gift, no charge, I hope I can't

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afford. Okay, good kid,
good, okay, good, Okay.

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Now we've got to get to what
I teased up before the break here in,

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and that's this little thing about truth
that you that you seem to be

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shall we say, stuck on.
So you say you're focused on truth?

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What do you mean by truth?
And how so well? I look at

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truth through a very new lens even
for me. One of my teachers,

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I don't know if I'm allowed to
say who it is. One of my

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teachers says, this brilliant has this
brilliant thing where she says, truth isn't

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really about fact or not fact.
Did it happen? Did it not happen.

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Truth is a frequency. Oh,
very interesting, because again here I

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am being you know, you know, playing around in you know, quantum

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geek world. Right, and and
so truth is a frequency. It's a

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vibration, it's a resonance. Right, and this is this is different.

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My truth is not your truth.
Right, It's a completely different kind of

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thing. So in our world again, there's no good or bad. Here,

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there's no right or wrong. There's
no true or false. There is

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aligned or aligned. And the trick
is to align everything you have and everything

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you are with where you want to
go, what you want to have,

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the experience you want to create.
Or you are such a you're such an

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eminently quotable guy, Chris, you
really are. I love how you articulate

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your thoughts that. I love that
truth is a frequency. You're welcome.

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That's not mine. I appreciate that
that. Yes, I got that.

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Thank you. However, you did
share it with us, and you're the

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first that I've ever had it shared, have anybody share it with me.

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00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:33.799
So thank you for that, and
thank you to your teacher. Okay,

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so next we have to talk about
your pretty darn recent book that you co

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authored. It's pretty amazing renegotiat renegotiate
your life. So first, you know,

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I know what it takes to write
a book, because I've written a

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couple and I'm now working on another
one. And I don't know what I

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00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:49.599
what I was thinking when I agreed
to this, But first I got to

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00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:53.559
know what compelled you to write the
book. That's the first question. Well,

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I've been I've been threatening to write
a book for the better part of

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a decade. And the book I
would have written over the years would be

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different books along the way, none
of them I think I would be proud

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of. This one really landed.
It started, as you know, I'm

407
00:27:11.799 --> 00:27:17.359
just gonna write this kind of marketing
piece, and as you can, as

408
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:21.119
you might imagine, there's a lot
of content in here, and getting that

409
00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:25.839
organized was a real challenge. So
so my co author Michael Ashley. He's

410
00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:29.400
brilliant, He's written for Disney's,
his pedigree's ridiculous, and he looks like

411
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:33.960
he's about fifteen years old. It's
kind of annoying, but so he was

412
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:37.440
able to get inside my head and
he just gets me. You know,

413
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:41.000
he's he's done the reinvention thing.
He's been on the hero's journey, you

414
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:45.240
know, like he and I had
walked similar paths, so he was able

415
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.960
to extract all of this from my
head, get it structured and organized so

416
00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:55.519
that I could write something. And
so as I started writing, you know

417
00:27:55.559 --> 00:27:57.480
again, I thought this was going
to be it's a marketing piece, but

418
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:02.680
in the process of I actually started
to give a crap about it, and

419
00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:07.920
that's when everything changed. And so
the book is renegotiate your existence. I

420
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.000
mean, you know, you can
renegotiate contracts, you can renegotiate your job

421
00:28:11.079 --> 00:28:15.839
or your salary, you can renegotiate
your relationships. I'm telling you, you

422
00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:22.279
can renegotiate your entire experience on this
planet if you understand how to do it,

423
00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:27.160
because ultimately, your reality is a
result. It's an end result of

424
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:33.839
a system, and any system can
be hacked, optimized, recoded if you

425
00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:40.039
understand that system. Well enough,
okay, And one of those systems that

426
00:28:40.039 --> 00:28:41.720
I definitely wanted to talk about in
which I alluded to in the beginning of

427
00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:45.359
the show, is you have a
whole chapter entitled taking Ownership of your Beliefs.

428
00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:48.039
And of course that's terribly compelling to
me because I understand the power of

429
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:53.119
beliefs. So what have you learned
about belief formation and how we can change

430
00:28:53.160 --> 00:29:00.640
that formation well through the lens of
responsibility. What is a belief? I

431
00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:03.480
can define a belief in one word, it is a choice. Right,

432
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:10.559
As you know, beliefs are choices
that I have not taken responsibility for.

433
00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:15.640
The sad, I take responsibility for
that, for that choice, right,

434
00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:21.000
the second I take responsibility for that
belief. I can choose any belief I

435
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:26.279
want, right and my opportunity if
not obligation. If I'm to be a

436
00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:30.839
good steward of my purpose, a
good steward of my mission, my obligation

437
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:36.880
is to make the choice, select
the belief that aligns with that. So

438
00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:40.039
what I tell clients that want to
buy a house, or want to get

439
00:29:40.039 --> 00:29:41.720
a promotion, or want to launch
a company and sell it to Google for

440
00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:45.599
billions of dollars or whatever. There
are certain luxuries when you work with us

441
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:51.640
at status flow that you cannot afford
anymore. Right, I'm not good enough,

442
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:57.119
I don't deserve it, I'm not
lovable. You cannot afford these luxuries

443
00:29:57.200 --> 00:30:04.640
of playing small in more right,
Once there is awareness, there is choice.

444
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:10.200
Yeah, and so let's talk about
that whole thing of awareness really quick.

445
00:30:10.440 --> 00:30:12.279
It's fascinating, right. We do
so much stuff on autopilot, right,

446
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:15.839
The way we drive our cars,
the way we take a shower,

447
00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:18.359
the way we put our makeup,
on the way we everything, it's on

448
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:22.680
autopilot, right. So the opportunity
is to make those beliefs conscious. Right.

449
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:26.599
See, can you say a bit
about you know, how to help

450
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:30.559
people do that? Well, it's
you know, getting help, right,

451
00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:33.680
I mean, because essentially what you're
talking about is, you know, it's

452
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:37.079
it's like a mechanic working on the
car that he or she is driving.

453
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:42.440
Very difficult to do. You've got
to have some outside perspective. I can

454
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:48.599
tell you this much. Understanding how
you relate to everything is a great is

455
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:52.160
a great way to start understanding what
your beliefs are, because ultimately, the

456
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:57.039
world is a mirror. It is
reflecting back to you everything you think,

457
00:30:57.119 --> 00:31:03.519
everything you feel, everything you believe. Right, Your reality is based started

458
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:07.559
right here and is being reflected back
to you out there. So if you

459
00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:11.680
want to know what you believe about
something, look at something right, Notice

460
00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:15.759
how you feel about it. The
more you cling to a belief, the

461
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:18.200
more charge you're going to have around
it. Just get on social media,

462
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:22.720
have somebody say something you disagree with. Ah, there's a very strongly held

463
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:29.240
belief demonstration number one. Yes,
excellent, Chris. All right, let's

464
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:32.200
grab our last break here. I'm
Elise Cortez, your host. We were

465
00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:34.519
in the air with Chris King.
He's a peak performance executive coach and motivational

466
00:31:34.519 --> 00:31:37.920
speaker who is focused on truth.
We've been talking about just what that means

467
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:42.000
to him, as well as some
of those important navigating beliefs that help guide

468
00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:45.759
whether what we get in life or
whether we don't. After the great will

469
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:48.240
continue the conversation. Stay with us, We'll be right back. Doctor release

470
00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:55.440
Cortes is a management consultant specializing in
meaning and purpose and inspirational speaker and author.

471
00:31:55.799 --> 00:32:01.000
She helps companies visioneer for greater purpose
among stakeholders and developed purpose inspired leadership

472
00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:07.599
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce.

473
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:13.160
To learn more or to invite Elise
to speak to your organization, please

474
00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:16.759
visit her at Elisecortes dot com.
Let's talk about how to get your employees

475
00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:29.839
working on purpose. This is working
on purpose with doctor Elise Cortes to reach

476
00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:34.519
our program today or open a conversation
with Alise. Send an email to Elise

477
00:32:35.079 --> 00:32:44.000
Alise at elisecortes dot com. Now
back to working on Purpose. Thanks for

478
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:45.759
staying with us, and welcome back
to working on purpose. One another reunds.

479
00:32:45.759 --> 00:32:47.920
Before we get back to Chris,
I have to share with you that

480
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:53.000
after spending about two years of putting
together an anthology of women's stories from around

481
00:32:53.079 --> 00:32:57.319
the globe, their story, their
intimate stories and how they've discovered their purpose

482
00:32:57.319 --> 00:33:00.640
are now serving from it. It's
now a label on an Amazon It's called

483
00:33:00.680 --> 00:33:05.000
Passionately Striving and Why. It's twenty
five stories. And so I wrote that

484
00:33:05.039 --> 00:33:07.400
actually ic I curated that, I
should say to be able to help you

485
00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:10.480
find a way to look at those
paths that they took to find their purpose

486
00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:14.400
and see if that helps you find
yours. So you'll help you pick a

487
00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:15.880
copy of that up as well.
Also, by the way, I'm out

488
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:20.039
scouting for men who have discovered their
purpose and want to share that in this

489
00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:22.880
collection as well. So if you
know anybody for this program, for this

490
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:25.200
initiative, let me know as well. If you're just joining us. My

491
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:29.720
guest today is Chris King. He
is a peak performance executive coach and motivational

492
00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:34.200
speaker who's focused on the truth.
He's the co author of Renegotiate Your Existence,

493
00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:37.440
Unlock Your Impossible Life. I'm your
host, doctor Luis Cortes. So,

494
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.480
Chris, just before we went to
that last break, we were talking

495
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:45.039
about beliefs, and so the next
thing I want to do really quick about

496
00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:46.480
that, because I just know the
power pollution, and I love that you've

497
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:50.960
got a whole chapter devoted to this. I want to have you talk to

498
00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:54.000
us a bit about how we can
replace those outdated, unserving beliefs with more

499
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:58.960
productive ones. How do we get
rid of that past garbage. Ooh,

500
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:01.279
that's a tricky one because because we're
talking about a system. You know,

501
00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:05.480
as you know, everybody's got that
operating system in their head that's been running

502
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:07.119
since they're about six years old,
right, you know, you and I'll

503
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:09.719
call it a belief system, right, but it's been running since we're six

504
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:14.159
year old. This is our understanding
of reality. Right. So so this

505
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:20.360
doesn't really change all that easily,
And there are any number of tools to

506
00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:24.719
do this, and some of them
are very subtle. So somebody will say

507
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:28.639
something, this is true, this
is a factor or whatever, and and

508
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:35.360
I like, I like to play
in in the world of absolutes, because

509
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:39.880
very little is absolute. Right,
So when I said something, this is

510
00:34:39.880 --> 00:34:45.599
a fact, is it absolutely true? Like you know who I love?

511
00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:50.440
I love Byron Katie's work on this
Byron Katy in the work. It's brilliant

512
00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:53.840
there there, She's got books and
everything. But there's four questions, right,

513
00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:59.119
So the questions are you know you
have a belief? Is this true?

514
00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:00.480
Question number one? Well, of
course it's true. This is my

515
00:35:00.519 --> 00:35:06.719
experience, this is true. Okay, great? Can I absolutely know this

516
00:35:06.840 --> 00:35:08.719
is true? Okay? Now right
there, the wheels are gonna start to

517
00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:13.559
come off a little bit, because
again, that absolute word gets very tricky.

518
00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:17.519
Right. The next question is what
happens when I tell this story?

519
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:22.079
Right? Well, like the story
that I'm not good enough or I don't

520
00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:27.360
deserve it or somebody doesn't like me
or whatever. Well, I show up

521
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:30.039
in this way or I behave a
certain way, or I have these feelings,

522
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:32.920
right, you know whatever. Then
my favorite question number four, who

523
00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:37.519
would I be without that story?
Ooh? I love that? Yes,

524
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:42.199
I know that one really powerful?
Right. These are very simple kinds of

525
00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:45.480
things, you know, But I
tell you what it boils down to,

526
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:50.239
what if you're wrong? Like,
look, I get it. It's logical.

527
00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:52.360
The neocortex is doing what it does
right, You're logical. It makes

528
00:35:52.360 --> 00:35:55.519
perfect sense. The math plays out, it agrees with your experience. It

529
00:35:55.599 --> 00:36:01.199
makes sense. And what if you're
wrong? There is a way you can

530
00:36:01.239 --> 00:36:05.599
do that? What if there is
a way that you could improve your life

531
00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:08.159
work balance? What if there is
a way that you could take more time

532
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:12.599
off or not have to do emails
on vacation. What if you're wrong?

533
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:15.320
Can your ego handle that? Because
I'll tell you what, I ask this

534
00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:19.239
question of my clients all the time. Do you want to be right or

535
00:36:19.239 --> 00:36:22.079
do you want to be effective?
Do you want to be right? Or

536
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:24.079
do you want to be happy?
Do you want to be right? Or

537
00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:28.519
do you want to actually get what
you say you want? Are you willing

538
00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:35.239
to be wrong in order to do
it? Nicely? Illustrated? I certainly

539
00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:37.920
recognize and in the phrase, and
I'm sure I've uttered it myself. You

540
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.239
know well? The fact of the
matter is you know well, And so

541
00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:46.159
I love you. You're saying and
would you say, are you sure you're

542
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:50.159
And what if you're wrong? What
if you're wrong? And what if you're

543
00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:53.039
wrong, right, because that's a
quote. You know what I said in

544
00:36:53.079 --> 00:36:57.239
the book too. Uh. You
know, if if you argue, if

545
00:36:57.280 --> 00:37:01.320
you argue for your limitations, you
get to keep them, right you could

546
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:06.280
right, Okay, you're right.
Congratulations, you're right. You still have

547
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:09.840
terrible life work balance, right,
Yeah, and you're never going to be

548
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:15.239
amount to anything. You're right,
perfect, Let's celebrate, right, right?

549
00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:19.559
Yeah, I'm too glad you're right
to be right. The problem that

550
00:37:19.559 --> 00:37:22.119
the rest of my life is not
quite what I wanted to do. Yeah.

551
00:37:22.199 --> 00:37:24.639
Yeah, let's let's rewrite that story, shall we. Right. So,

552
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:28.280
another thing that you said that was
really interesting when we first spoke,

553
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:31.000
as you mentioned to me sort of
in passing, and I thought it was

554
00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:36.719
interesting. You said that you generally
find people that you who seek out to

555
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:39.400
work with you in the if you
look at the gender division, is that

556
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:44.920
men are looking for for success and
women are looking for relief. I think

557
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:49.440
that's really interesting. Can you say
more about those general trends? Yeah,

558
00:37:49.480 --> 00:37:52.559
So I'm gonna use binary genders because
number one, it's it's ease of conversation.

559
00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:59.039
Number two, it's statistically accurate.
So so the men that approach us

560
00:37:59.159 --> 00:38:02.280
are. It's the way that men
and women seem to, in my experience,

561
00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:07.360
in the experience of the organization,
relate to their worlds and their work.

562
00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:12.199
Okay, as a man of my
generation, I am pretty high on

563
00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:15.480
my priority list, like top three
most I'm a gen X or top three

564
00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:19.440
most of the time. Right.
Yeah. Ye. A woman in our

565
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:22.880
target demo say, you know,
mid thirties to early fifties, she is

566
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:28.519
dead last on her priority list.
Yeah yeah. Everything else, the job

567
00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:30.599
and the kids, and the house
and her mom and the car and all

568
00:38:30.679 --> 00:38:34.920
the things come first, and she
ends up getting leftovers of her own life.

569
00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:39.519
So men come to us, they're
business owners. They want more efficiency,

570
00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:44.519
more productivity, more it's very masculine
drive more success as they define that.

571
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.960
Women are looking for more relief.
And one of my teachers, doctor

572
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.039
Robert Holden, says something that's so
beautiful, and I've used this as and

573
00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:55.440
it says, if it seems like
there's something missing from your life, it's

574
00:38:55.559 --> 00:39:00.719
probably you. Oh that's great.
Yes. And so the women that come

575
00:39:00.760 --> 00:39:04.239
to us, and that's why a
phrase it is life work balance. They

576
00:39:04.239 --> 00:39:07.239
need better life work balance, not
work life balance, but life work balance.

577
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:10.559
Like their businesses and their lives are
running them instead of the other way

578
00:39:10.599 --> 00:39:16.000
around. The hamster will completely turned
that around right, put them back in

579
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:20.280
the driver's seat of empowerment. So
I want to I want to give a

580
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:22.960
phrase that I've used before, Chris, and listeners and viewers just listen to

581
00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:24.880
this because it's it's really got some
power, especially if you find yourself at

582
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:30.280
the bottom of the heap. So
if you are literally settling for the used

583
00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:34.920
coffee grounds of your own life,
yet you serve a fresh brewed cup of

584
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:37.639
yourself to everyone else you encounter,
what's going on here? Who's winning here?

585
00:39:38.239 --> 00:39:42.760
Used coffee grounds of your own life? Or or or putting that up

586
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:45.719
with somebody else that you expect to
be on a higher playing field with you.

587
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:49.760
That is such a powerful I love
coffee, by the way, but

588
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:52.719
you know when I look at those
grounds that get thrown away in the garbage

589
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:54.320
can at the end the end of
the experience, it's not where I want

590
00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:59.519
to be, right, And that
therein lies the reflection. Remember I said

591
00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:01.840
the world is a mirror, right, So what is this reflecting back to

592
00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:07.920
you? What is the script that
drives that that paradigm? I don't deserve

593
00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:12.360
it they're more important. My needs
are less than like, look at what

594
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:16.719
we're telling ourselves through the lens of
Oh I'm so generous. No, there's

595
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:21.159
no, there's no nobility in being
the martyr. Okay, that's a victim

596
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:25.039
construct. We don't do victim here
ever, right, So being the martyr

597
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:29.119
is not you know, it's the
aircraft thing. Put your mask on first,

598
00:40:29.559 --> 00:40:31.440
right, right? Well, and
then I think there's also this other

599
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:35.039
thing right that. So I'm sure
you encountered this all the time, Chris,

600
00:40:35.079 --> 00:40:37.679
it's the whole imposter syndrome. But
what if people what if people recognize

601
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:40.719
I really shouldn't be doing this job. I really don't know what I'm doing,

602
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:44.639
and you know something, there's this
idea that I don't really deserve this

603
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:49.679
anyway, right, I mean,
I know you encounter that. Yeah,

604
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:52.360
that's we run into imposters. I
mean, shoot, I've done it right,

605
00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:57.400
Like I was locked into that for
years. You know, even when

606
00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:00.519
I started working in the Neuroscience Institute, there were these people that were way

607
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:06.920
above me in terms of pedigree,
in terms of tenure, and there were

608
00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:09.039
some people that were doing like even
the corporate organization. I mean, you

609
00:41:09.079 --> 00:41:13.320
know how corporate works. Corporate doesn't
always do the smartest things right. And

610
00:41:13.400 --> 00:41:15.480
I was like, there's got to
be somebody smarter than me up that food

611
00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:19.840
chain. That seems how dumb this
is and apparently not right, you know,

612
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:23.480
so, and I'd tell you there's
and and again it's all about tools,

613
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:27.880
you know, for us in my
organization, it's all about what are

614
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:30.000
the tools that we need to use
right to start employing. And so if

615
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.840
somebody is saying, oh, I'm
not good enough for a Honda Accord,

616
00:41:34.880 --> 00:41:37.039
I'm just going to go for that
Honda Civic. I said, if you're

617
00:41:37.039 --> 00:41:38.719
telling yourself you're not good enough for
the Honda Accord, launch up to that

618
00:41:38.760 --> 00:41:45.000
Mercedes, I go the other way
with this, you know yeah, I

619
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:49.400
just I so appreciate the empowerment stance. And then another thing that we have

620
00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:52.239
to talk about, because this is
working on purpose after all, is you

621
00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:54.079
said to me in the exchange that
we had that you do not use the

622
00:41:54.119 --> 00:41:59.039
word purpose, but rather you prefer
to help people align with their own magnetic

623
00:41:59.119 --> 00:42:05.159
north w is just delicious. So
say more about that. Well, look,

624
00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:10.519
I don't have advice for anybody.
Nobody is qualified to tell you what

625
00:42:10.719 --> 00:42:14.639
to do. I know, a
lot of people think there are right and

626
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:16.280
look, there are consultants, you
know. And what I say to people

627
00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:19.679
is like, if when you don't
know what you don't know, hire a

628
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:22.760
consultant. When you don't know what
you do know, hire a coach.

629
00:42:23.800 --> 00:42:30.320
Because consultants have answers, coaches have
questions. And it's all about a listening

630
00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:37.119
insight because as we sit here right
now, you have every answer to every

631
00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:40.880
question, every solution to every problem
that you are ever going to run into

632
00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.920
for your entire life is in there
somewhere. So it's not a question of

633
00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:49.599
knowing or not knowing. It's a
question of access. I don't have to

634
00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:52.440
figure out your answer for you,
because you have it. What I got

635
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:57.159
to figure out is what's the barrier, what is stopping you from accessing what

636
00:42:57.239 --> 00:43:00.960
you don't know you know? And
once we figure out how to access that,

637
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:04.440
what do I need to do to
support you in relating to that and

638
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:07.960
then aligning it with the outcome that
you're looking for. I'm not in the

639
00:43:07.000 --> 00:43:09.760
advice business. The coaches that work
for me or not in the advice business.

640
00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:13.639
We are here to figure out how
to give you, how do you

641
00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:15.440
get you to give you your advice
and then support you if you're doing what

642
00:43:15.559 --> 00:43:19.199
you don't already know you need to
do but you're about to find out.

643
00:43:19.599 --> 00:43:22.159
Mm hmm. Yeah. And the
other thing that I think that that that

644
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:27.639
we we both do because I do
more consulting inside organizations than I do coaching,

645
00:43:27.719 --> 00:43:30.199
So we have a complementarity here.
But what I also find is that

646
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:34.239
when I'm working with my leaders,
even one on one, if I'm doing

647
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:36.960
a program sete an organization and then
I also work with leaders, what I

648
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:39.440
find is that when we have our
time together, or if you want to

649
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:43.760
call it a coaching session, what
I find is that that session alone,

650
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:47.360
that time that they've set aside for
themselves already is an opening for them because

651
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:51.159
they don't usually do that for themselves. Right, So this is a this

652
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:53.360
is a it's a dance floor that
they don't usually allow themselves to step onto.

653
00:43:54.239 --> 00:43:59.199
So already there's a different there's all, there's a different listening for themselves.

654
00:43:59.400 --> 00:44:01.719
There's a different listening to me,
uh and and to our exchange.

655
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:06.920
Right, It's just it's it is. It's glorious. It's a glorious place

656
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:09.239
to get to be with somebody.
Yeah, yeah, it really is you

657
00:44:09.239 --> 00:44:13.519
get access in a way that that
most people don't. Well, you know

658
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:15.239
what I've come to understand from me, Chris, is what I what I

659
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:19.639
realized is that I wanted. I
want I want to I want to chew

660
00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:22.159
on the barrow, the marrow of
the bone of life, right, I

661
00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:28.119
want the substance. And so these
conversations are intimate. You know, there's

662
00:44:28.199 --> 00:44:32.000
we're not talking about superficial things that
anybody can talk about. We're talking about

663
00:44:32.039 --> 00:44:37.400
the intimate stuff of their lives and
their hopes and their dreams. That's where

664
00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:40.159
I want to be. Yeah.
Yeah, that's that's where the magic is.

665
00:44:40.199 --> 00:44:45.239
That's where the brilliance is. That's
that's where the truth is. M

666
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:47.559
m. Back to that beautiful word
truth. Okay, So we're coming to

667
00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:51.239
the close here. It happens.
It goes by so fast, especially when

668
00:44:51.280 --> 00:44:53.039
we have a good, interesting,
lively, energetic conversation like this course.

669
00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:59.320
So the atmosphere sometimes yeah, yeah, no, I love it. It's

670
00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:01.599
great. So I have one have
two more questions for you. This next

671
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:05.880
question is, you know, if
you have another story or something else you

672
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:08.840
can share with this, because those
stories gives us give as access to how

673
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:13.360
it is that you help people what
they present when they try to, you

674
00:45:13.400 --> 00:45:16.360
know, get enrolled with you and
help from you. Another story maybe,

675
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:20.920
well, I had a client that, you know, I want to tell

676
00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:22.880
a different one, actually very similar. There's some that are the really hard

677
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:27.559
kind of stuff. I have a
client right now and we're about I think

678
00:45:27.559 --> 00:45:34.599
we're about halfway through, you know, the committed program, and he's he's

679
00:45:34.599 --> 00:45:38.960
about he's about my age, about
fifty, and he's he's sort of been

680
00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:44.760
on this hamster wheel in his personal
life in terms of dating. He's still

681
00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:50.639
had a very youthful orientation towards it. And you know, there's there's just

682
00:45:50.639 --> 00:45:57.199
some alignment problems with really like how
do I say this locking in somebody that

683
00:45:58.480 --> 00:46:04.440
is aligned with the lifestyle that he's
looking for, and you know, because

684
00:46:04.440 --> 00:46:07.039
he wants it, wants stable,
it wants grounded and all this kind of

685
00:46:07.079 --> 00:46:15.480
stuff. But he kept chasing after
really dysfunctional, toxic relationships. And now

686
00:46:15.079 --> 00:46:19.639
there are a lot of assumptions we
can make about his child or whatever.

687
00:46:20.480 --> 00:46:23.679
Ultimately it boils down to his relationship
with his father, strangely enough, so

688
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:30.000
it was this approval seeking kind of
thing, right, and so when he

689
00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:34.559
realized, you know, what I'm
going to insert myself into a situation that

690
00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:39.360
and into a framework where I'm going
to be with a toxic person who will

691
00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:45.800
never approve of me, that I
can continue to chase the approval and never

692
00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:47.760
get it. Because this was his
relationship with his father, right, His

693
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:52.480
father died less than a year ago. So now he's introducing people to replace

694
00:46:52.559 --> 00:46:54.840
Dad to be the disapproval kind of
thing. And here's the weird thing,

695
00:46:54.920 --> 00:47:02.039
right, is that part of what
seems like it might be happening right now

696
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:09.639
is that this piece of him is
really scared of the ego death. And

697
00:47:09.679 --> 00:47:15.960
I know you understand this, right, because what happens when the chase for

698
00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:22.400
approval is over that piece has no
purpose according to that piece, right,

699
00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:28.280
that aspect of his persona, and
is going to resist that. It's going

700
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:30.360
to survival, right, This little
piece of his psyche needs to survive,

701
00:47:30.440 --> 00:47:32.079
so it needs to be on the
hamster wheel. It's like, look,

702
00:47:32.960 --> 00:47:37.880
maybe it's time, right, Maybe
maybe it's time to let dad go.

703
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:39.360
Maybe it's time to let this go, maybe, you know. And so

704
00:47:39.480 --> 00:47:45.400
he's in a really uncomfortable place right
now, and it's a real soft spot,

705
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:50.440
and it's so beautiful to watch this
strong you know, burly guy.

706
00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:53.639
He's just man's man. You know
he can slam two by fours together and

707
00:47:53.719 --> 00:47:58.239
just be in this soft, beautiful
space where he's so gentle with himself.

708
00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:04.559
It's just watching his transformation. It's
just such. It's the most honoring thing

709
00:48:04.599 --> 00:48:07.119
I can think of. I can't
imagine doing anything else with my life.

710
00:48:07.159 --> 00:48:09.400
It's such. I'm so honored to
witness this stuff. Chris. That's so

711
00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:12.880
beautiful. What a great way to
finish and where we're at the close here,

712
00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:15.280
but this show is to listen to
by people around the world. What

713
00:48:15.320 --> 00:48:21.199
would like to leave them with?
Say in like fifteen seconds or so fifteen

714
00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:25.920
seconds what if you're wrong? Ah, great way to finish, beautiful,

715
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:29.639
Chris. You are a delight and
a gift to the world. I'm so

716
00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:30.679
glad to know you and have you
in my life. Thank you for being

717
00:48:30.679 --> 00:48:34.280
on the show and sharing yourself,
your thoughts, in your heart with our

718
00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:37.480
listeners and viewers across the world.
My pleasure. Thank you so much for

719
00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:39.840
having me. It's been a pleasure
absolutely, listeners and viewers. If you

720
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:43.480
want to learn more about Chris King, his work, his book, start

721
00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:47.360
by visiting his website statusflow dot net. Last week you missed the live show,

722
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:51.679
you always catch a you recorded podcast
We run here with doctor Rick Garlic

723
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:55.119
talking about some of the factors contributing
to the great resignation plaguing organizations across the

724
00:48:55.119 --> 00:49:00.000
world, and how pride in the
work we do elevates engagement and performance.

725
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:02.840
Next week, we'll be in there
with Amy Herman talking about her book Fixed,

726
00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:07.320
How to Perfect the Fine Art of
Problem solving. See you there.

727
00:49:07.320 --> 00:49:09.920
Remember that works at least a thor
in our life. So let's work on

728
00:49:09.960 --> 00:49:15.679
purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this
week's program. Be sure to tune in

729
00:49:15.679 --> 00:49:21.400
too. Working on Purpose featuring your
host, Doctor Elise Cortes each week on

730
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:27.119
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. Together, we'll create a world where business operates

731
00:49:27.159 --> 00:49:34.320
conscientiously, leadership inspires impassioned performance,
and employees are fulfilled in work that provides

732
00:49:34.360 --> 00:49:38.440
the meaning and purpose they crave.
See you there, Let's work on Purpose.