Jan. 21, 2025

Got Soul? Unlock the Power of Your Wise Self as a Leader

Got Soul? Unlock the Power of Your Wise Self as a Leader

True leadership and personal fulfillment require more than surface-level living. Beneath the masks we wear lies our "wise self," a source of profound wisdom connected to something greater than us. Guest Janet Ioli joins us to explore how accessing...

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True leadership and personal fulfillment require more than surface-level living. Beneath the masks we wear lies our "wise self," a source of profound wisdom connected to something greater than us. Guest Janet Ioli joins us to explore how accessing this deeper part of ourselves enables authentic, purpose-driven leadership and helps us realize our full potential. Learn how to lead and live with soul, authenticity, and impact.

Working on Purpose is broadcast live Tuesdays at 6PM ET and Music on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Working on Purpose is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions express in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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W FOURCY Radio.

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What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

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answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose

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at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their

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lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization

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that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their

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highest potential. Business can be such a force for good

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in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide

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guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we

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all want working on Purpose. Now here's your host, doctor

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Elise Cortes.

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Welcome back to the Working and Purpose Program, which has

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been brought to you with passionate our pride since February

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of twenty fifteen. Thanks for tuning in again this week.

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Great to have you. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes.

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If we have not met before and you don't know me,

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I'm an organizational psychologist and local therapist, speaker and author.

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My team and I at Gusto Now help companies to

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enliven it and fortify their operations by building a dynamic,

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high performance culture and inspirational leadership activated by meaning and purpose.

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And did you know that inspired employees outperform their satisfied

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peers by a factor of two point twenty five to one, So,

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in other words, inspiration is good for the bottom line.

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You can learn more about us and how we can

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work together at Gusto dash now dot com and my

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personal site, Atliscortes dot com. Into today's program we have

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with us today Janetioli, who is an executive advisor, leadership coach,

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speaker and career strategist for women leaders at Power Presence

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Academy and the author of Less Ego, More Soul, which

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will be talking about today. She jos today from Newport Beach, California. Janet,

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Welcome to Working on Purpose.

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Oh, thank you so much for having me. I so

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admire you and your show. So I'm excited to be here.

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Thank you, Janet. And I love your book. I absolutely

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love this less ego more so, please stat right, I

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mean I have course, as you know, I read my

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guest books cover to cover, and sometimes I embarrass myself

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in public when I'm reading it because I'm saying I'm like, yes,

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that's right, Yes, that's me. So that's what you've done

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for me as well, Janet. You've embarrassed me in public,

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and that's okay.

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That's always a good thing. If you're reading aloud and

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laughing or having that a moment, that's great.

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Right, you know. So I oftentimes I'm reading at the

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gym and people will come over and they're like, that

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must be a good book because you are into it

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as you're peddling over here. Yes, you should read it too. Well,

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let's start with you. One of the things that I

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really appreciate about you and your background, and having lived

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in Spain and Brazil myself in my twenties, is your

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own background. Growing up as a child in Athens, Greece.

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You have a Greek mother and an American father. It's

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just pretty interesting the way that you were formed and raised.

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If you could just speak a little bit about your upbringing,

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how that's really punctuated the work that you do today.

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Yeah, I think it's funny how our origin stories form

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who we are, right I, Like you said, I grew

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up in Greece, and at the time, it's funny. My

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father was in the military and my mom is Greek,

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and I always felt like I was not normal. And

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what I mean by that is that so every time

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I was with people who were Greek or who are

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from my mom's side, they would consider me American. And

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every time I was with people who were American, they

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would consider me, oh, she's Greek. So it was the

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sense of not fitting in. Even though it was such

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an incredible experience having both worlds, at the time, I

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didn't really realize how powerful that is is to be

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able to be exposed to these two different worlds and

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try to navigate them. And so through the process of

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navigating those two worlds, I think I developed a keen

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sense of observation and listening and watching. It's like, Okay,

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what are they doing and what are they doing? And

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then I realized, wait a minute, there's not one way

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to do anything in the world. And that really shaped me,

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I think, and it shaped my work today and it

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shapes who I am. Is that I'm very curious because

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I think the we get conditioned to think that there's

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only one way to do something, where there's only one

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way to be or whatever it is we're learning, and

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yet in fact, that's that's our own story, that we're

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being created by how we're brought up.

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It's so beautiful. And I think too, you know, you

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had you know, you suffered from I forget exactly what

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it was. Something to do with your eye.

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Oh, oh, that's a whole other yeah, so let me

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that story. So this even you know, I didn't want

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to tell you my whole life story, but this, this

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really really impacted me. Is that, you know, growing up

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in Greece, it was really interesting because my father's American

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and he's from the South and from Tennessee. So I

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had very light skin, very you know, I have green eyes,

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blonde hair, and it has a little help now, but

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it was always kind of blonde at the time. And

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I would walk around and people would notice me and

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they would say, oh, what a cute little girl, and oh,

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how cute, and oh, my gosh, what an adorable little girl,

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and they'd pinch your cheek and all of that stuff.

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And then in the second grade, I developed what is

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known as and it's pretty common, I'm sure many of

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you listening have heard of. This is what's called a

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lazy eye, where one of my eyes started to cross

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and it would go all the way in and so

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to me, I couldn't tell that that was happening unless

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I looked in the mirror. It didn't affect my eyesight,

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but oh my goodness, did that impact my whole world.

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I went from being seen as this, oh cute little

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girl to this person who was a freak, who was

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you know, I would get taunts from kids saying, you know,

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she's this cross eyed lion. They would push me, people

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at school wouldn't play with me anymore. I mean, it

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was true. It was incredibly traumatic, and for anybody who

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has been different or had any side of difference, I'm

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sure can resonate. I mean, I don't even know you

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know how what an impact something like that can have

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on you. And I remember crying every single day wishing

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I could be normal, If I could be normal and

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lo and bold, the wonders of surgery. Right, I had

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eye surgery in third grade and they fixed the eye,

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and there I was back to normal, normal, And there

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I was again, you know, this cute little girl that

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everybody wanted to play with. But what had happened is

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something inside of me had really changed, yep. And what

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it changed was the you know I was. I was

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just different because I realized I had not changed, nothing

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inside of me had changed. It was the eye. And

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I started to realize that we placed way too much

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value on the outside. And I think that really started

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my journey inward and my focus on the inner part

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of ourselves versus the outer part of ourselves, because any different.

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That's totally what I got from that, and that's why

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I wanted you to share that story. And here we are,

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you and I both you know you mentioned in your book,

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and I completely agree that many people are very accustomed

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to living what you call living, being on the surface

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rather than going deep. And I have seen that as well,

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and for most much of my life, I was always

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you know, if you're not going to share your soul

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with me, don't waste my time, which caused a lot

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of people to flee, as you can imagine, but That's

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where I wanted to be be.

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Because it's scary, right, That's a scary place to be

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is on the inside, because when we go inside, we

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have to face some of the things that we don't

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like to face. And I think that's really the impetus

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that had me write the book, is, you know, some

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of my own experiences not facing the parts of me

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that had become something that I had not created or

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that weren't even part of me. And you know, at

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recalling some of these things and going inward really made

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me get more tuned to who I was and who

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I am.

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Yes, and so so much of the reason I wanted

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to have you on my podcast, Janet is I as

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both you and I work with leaders and are out

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to develop and transform leaders. So to be able to

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really get in touch with that inner wise person that

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you talk about in your book requires to be able

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to go in And yet both you and I know

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when you wrote about this Beautiful in your book, that

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we are governed a lot by the society we live in.

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We are very much thrown to following the rules of

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that culture and what are all those shoulds that we're

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supposed to be and that we overlook the beautiful person

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inside of us, that screaming for our attention. Yeah, and

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to be expressed authentically, you know.

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And this is I think it's the journey of unraveling

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that right, and that's part of that inner work that

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I see so often. You know, it's funny when you

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talk about leadership, and I'm sure you see this in

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your work. You know, we get to a certain point

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that what worked for us in the past doesn't work

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for us anymore. And at that point we have to

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come to terms with, Okay, what is it that we've

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been doing. And most of the time, what I find

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is that we've been reacting. We've been you know, we've

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been conditioned to try to please prove protect ourselves right

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for safety and security, and also to achieve more. And

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then there's a point where I hear and you probably

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see this in your work as well. I hear stories.

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I'll be talking to leaders in organizations who have reached

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the pinnacle of success and they'll say, you know, I'm

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not fulfilled. I feel like I'm putting on an act,

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like I'm wearing a mask, or you know, this isn't me.

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I don't know who I am, or you hear all

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of these types of stories, and I think that is

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an indicative of not only how our conditioned, but also

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how we choose to live a little bit unconsciously because

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we're not even aware of it. We just go through

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the motions, we go through the releves, you know, a

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bad way right right right.

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And so what I would say to that, that's just

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been so great along my own journey, Janitive. You know,

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cultivating myself is recognizing the power of really cultivate, paying

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attention to owning, stewarding, and being in your emotions to

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be able to really understand how you really feel. So

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what I discovered from myself is and at least just

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say this, about twelve years ago, I really stepped well

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on this path of when I recognized I'm going to

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go straight down this, you know, this path of researching

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meaning and work and identity which led me to purpose,

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et cetera. And the moment I did that, Janet, the

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moment what I like to say that quite whispered that

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you talk about in your book. I heard it, except

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it was a scream and it was like, oh this way,

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and I always like to I always like to talk

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about it. It was like closing my eyes and being

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so still that I could hear where was I supposed

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to put my next foot on the lily pad? And

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I put on that next lily pad. That's what I

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knew I was on the right path. And so what

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I've come to is, you know, the more that we

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can pay attention to these beautiful lifting emotions and we

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know we're on the right path. If there if our

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next decision or whatever is taking us down and making

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us feel bad, it's probably not right for us. But

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here's the trick, and I know you know this. We

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have to learn how to tap into that wisdom within

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ourselves to be able to know that we actually feel

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that way.

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First exactly, And here's what my reaction to when you

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were talking. The first thing I would say is when

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you said you had this be still, how many of

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us can be still? How many of us want to

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be still? How many of us know how to be still?

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I mean, that's the other piece of it. It's interesting.

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I remember when I first took yoga years ago, and

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I went to a yoga class and I was like,

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oh my gosh, I can't just sit here. That's pretty

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embarrassing to admit, But I hear that all the time

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from so many of my clients. It's like, Oh, I

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can't I can't sit still. I have to I have

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to be doing something, and we just I think we're

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so used to doing that it's hard for us to

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be aware of who we're being. And I know that

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sounds a little woo on some level, but it really

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is profound if in fact, we are looking for meaning

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and purpose in our work at home, in our lives.

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I mean, it's learning to be still and really going

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inward and finding that place inside of ourselves that already

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has the answers we're looking for. If we just pause

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to listen, and like you said, you know, the whispers

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become shouts, and sometimes they're shouting, and we just drounded out.

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There are things we drowned out with rights. It's either

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more achievements, status, buying material things. That's a way that

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we drowned out. Another way we drown it as alcohol,

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I mean food. We can go on and on and on.

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I don't have to tell you that, but that is

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the I think. If there's something that I wanted to communicate,

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is learning how to do this.

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Yeah, another way of saying drowning out is numbing, right,

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We numb ourselves and that's why the opportunity is to

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wake up, you know, awaken again. And when I'm out

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speaking to audiences, and usually by about nine minutes in,

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I will then usually ask the question to the audience,

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what are you passionate about? And as soon as I

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pose that question, I then immediately dial into the audience

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even further. And I realized that about eighty five to

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ninety percent of them realize in that one moment they

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do not have an answer.

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To the question. Oh absolutely right.

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And it's because and hey, I'm not judging anything because

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I've been on that same train, but they've lost touch

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with you know, what is it that they're passionate about,

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So they don't really know what is it that really

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turns them on that they were going to give themselves

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over to. And I've had people hire me to speak

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at conferences because they said, at least I was a

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person in the crowd that didn't have the answer, and

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I wants you to give that same message to these

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people that I know am helping to steward. So that

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that's the hamster will you were talking about, right, if

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you're if you're so busy on the hamster will you

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can't necessarily know what you're passionate about.

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And not only what are you passionate about, but who

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you are? Right and seriously, I mean, oftentimes I'll ask someone, so,

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who are you? And what's what's important to you? Or

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what do you believe in? And there's a blank look.

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It's like, you know, I really don't know the answer

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to that question because I haven't had a chance. And

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how can you really find your meaning and purpose and

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your passion in the world if you haven't done the

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inner work to sit there and think about who you are,

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what's important do you believe in? And what are you?

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I mean, I always say you know, and that's why,

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you know, I ask people to create a personal manifesto, saying,

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you know, who are you? What do you believe in?

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And what are you committed to? What others have told

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you that you're committed to you or have told you

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to believe in? But what do you believe in? And

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that those are hard, hard questions? They sound so so simple.

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Yeah, you know, when I meet people for the first

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time and living here in Dallas and there's a there's

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a significant person population that I learned a long time

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ago that don't necessarily work outside the home. So I

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never I stopped saying what do you do? A long

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long time ago, partly for that reason. So when I

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meet new people, what I generally will say, Hi, what's

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your name? What do you pour yourself into? And they

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will almost always ask me what do you mean? Like that?

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What do I do? Yeah? What do you do? They mean?

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Do you mean what I do for work? Or what

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I'm like? Whatever significant to you? What do you pour

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yourself into? That lights you up? That will tell me

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a lot about that person. That's a fun conversation.

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And there's the passion, right, there's the passion when what

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do you pour yourself? You know, I heard somebody once say,

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at least they said, what can you not help yourself

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from doing? Yes?

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Yes, I also asked that question, what can you not

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not do? Yes?

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Like, even if it's organized or putting, you know, giving

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people directions or whatever it is, if you can help yourself,

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I'm doing that. That's something obviously that would you'd be

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passionate about.

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And here's what's great, And then I want to take

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us to break. What's great about that is when you

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get people talking about that what immediately happens, and you

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know this, Janet is you see that person's energy immediately

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rise and now they're possibly infecting whoever it is is

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in the vicinity, and that's what we want.

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Absolutely.

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Let's grab our first break. I'm your host, Doctor Lee's Cortez,

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who on the ear of Janet Ioli, who is an

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executive advisor, leadership coach, speaker, and career strategists for women

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leaders at Power Presence Academy. We've been talking a bit

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about her work and her book Less Ego More Soul.

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After the break, what we want to do is really

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situate with you the power and importance and role of

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what she calls thunderbolts in life. We'll be right back.

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Doctor Elise Cortes is a management consultant specializing in meaning

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and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author. She helps companies

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visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired

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leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and

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commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite

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Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her at

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Elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your

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employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with

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doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to

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open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Elise

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alisee at Elisecortes dot com. Now back to working on Purpose.

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Thanks for stating with us, and welcome back to working

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on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor Release Cortes, as I'm

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dedicated to helping create a world where people realize their

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potential at work, are led by inspirational leaders that help

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them find and contribute their greatness, and we do business

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that better is the world. I continue to research and

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write my own books, so my last one came out

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in March of twenty twenty three. It's called The Great Revitalization.

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How activating meaning and purpose can radically in live in

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your business. And I wrote her to help leaders understand

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the needs and wants of today's very discerning workforce, and

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then I offer twenty two best practices to help you

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equip your organization, your culture to create that for them.

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You can find my books on Amazon or my websites

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at Leastcortes dot com, orgustodeshnaw dot com. If you are

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just now joining us, my guest is janet Ioli. She's

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the author of Less Ego, More Soul. So thunderbolts was

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really an interesting idea for me, and of course I

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could relate to that. And as I was reading that

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part of your book, I'm like, oh, yeah, I got

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a couple of those that I can remember. So let's

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talk about first, how do you define thunderbolts? What are they?

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Yeah, so let me let me start with what causes

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the thunderbolt? Find out? So as we go along, I

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think I think as I was working with many clients,

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they would talk to me about wanting to change. I

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want to change something. I'm not really fulfilled, but I

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don't know exactly what that is, and kind of like

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what you were saying, it's not so much even the passion.

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It was like, I don't really know why I'm not fulfilled.

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And yet they were going along on their path of continuing,

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you know, climbing the career ladder or doing all the

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things that they were doing at home, at work, whatever,

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but not really going inside and thinking about it. And

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then something would happen in their life. And what I

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call a thunderbolt is when something hits you that's unexpected

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and it just knocks you out. For example, I mean,

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and you know I have an I'll share a couple

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of mine as well, and I know you have them

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as well. It could be a divorce, it could be

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an illness, it could be a death of a family member,

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it could be the loss of a job. I mean,

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and go on and on, something that just blindsides you

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and you're not expecting it, and it knocks you off

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that little path that you've been on. And then what

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it does, it's so severe, and that's why it's a thunderbolt.

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It brings you to your knees. I mean, you're at

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your knees at mercy saying, oh my gosh, now what

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everything that I believe to be true is no longer true.

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I know that happened with me when my dad was

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diagnosed with lung cancer at a He was fifty nine

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years old and I was in my thirties at the time,

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and he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, never been

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sick a day in his life, and that was I'm

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sure it's a thunderbolt for him, but it was a

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thunderbolt for me because it started to make me think

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about WHOA life is short if he can be diagnosed.

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I mean, he just was retiring. He was retiring early

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so that he could do all the things he wanted

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to do in his life and hold on. Now he's

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diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he's supposed to die

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in six months.

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WHOA.

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So that just cracked open something for me, and in

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this way that I can't even describe. It was electric.

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And that's where the thunderbolt comes in. And the open was, Wow,

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this is not this is not a continuous journey. There's

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an end somewhere and we don't know where that is.

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And you know, I was I had remembered my conversations

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with him saying, you know how much he wanted to

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be an attorney, and how he was he always wanted

421
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to be a lawyer, and that, oh, you know, he

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could even go back to school at fifty nine, blah

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blah blah. And there it was. So it just opened

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up this portal for me of Wow, why am I here?

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Who am I and what am I doing? And what

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do I want to do with the rest of my life?

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And I don't think that's a very uncommon expertience. I've

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heard that people share these things with me about their

429
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having to divorce about and I know you and I

430
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were talking about that during before we started, right, I mean,

431
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I would assume that anyone who's gone through anything like

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that can resonate with what a thunderbolt is.

433
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Yeah, And what I think is important about this, why

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I think are I think both of us really you know,

435
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so revel in our work is what do you do

436
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with these thunderbolts? You know, there's there's how do you

437
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respond to these things? Do you just cower over and

438
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go to the fetal position? That's great for a while,

439
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but you know, how do we respond? And and I

440
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know what I really discovered. I mean, this is careful

441
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what you ask for in life, Janet. You know, when

442
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I was in my forties, I used to used to say,

443
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you know, I probably won't them out to very much

444
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in life because I really haven't been through very much.

445
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You know, life hasn't catalyzed me into much. You know,

446
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I've got a nice life. I'm good. I like the

447
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work that I'm doing. But you know, hey, but I first,

448
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the two thunderbolts that really hope a lot were when

449
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I when I was when I got divorced, wasn't my idea,

450
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but it was a really good idea, but it hurt

451
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like a son of a gun and it came, you know,

452
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for me. I shouldn't have been blindsided, but I was.

453
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And it really really caused me to or allowed me,

454
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because of the catalyzing force of it, to really go

455
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deep into my soul and you know, excavate its contents

456
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and go looking in there around the murky corners to

457
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see what was there. And I found some pretty you know,

458
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scary stuff in there, and you know, as I was

459
00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:31.880
digging around. And but I'll tell you that that deep

460
00:23:32.039 --> 00:23:34.960
search for you know, understanding and you know, all of

461
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:39.160
the working through all of the really intense emotions. There's

462
00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:41.200
no way, Jennett, that I would be living my purpose

463
00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:43.880
today if I had not gone through that process. No way.

464
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:46.160
Now I am not saying that I'm going to go

465
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.480
write my excessman, you know, a thank you note here,

466
00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:53.480
But I will recognize that. And that's what I want

467
00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:55.759
to reinforce for our listeners and viewers is what are

468
00:23:55.799 --> 00:23:58.960
you getting from your thunderbolts? And maybe you need help,

469
00:23:59.039 --> 00:24:01.480
you know, moving through through those thunderbolts to be able

470
00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:04.880
to see what's the beauty and the growth and how

471
00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:08.680
you have emerged on the other side of coming through that.

472
00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:11.720
And what when I say in my book is that

473
00:24:12.119 --> 00:24:14.839
it's sad that we wait for thunderbolts to happen. It

474
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:16.519
will changes we need to make.

475
00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:17.960
Yes, we know.

476
00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:21.559
I think there's a there's a whisper, and then sometimes

477
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:25.680
it's a shout inside of us when something isn't quite right.

478
00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:28.880
If we take the time to listen that Okay, I'm

479
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:32.359
not really resonating with what I'm doing, or there's something

480
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:36.279
not right in whatever it is right, whether it's my health,

481
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.960
I mean something. We get little messages and we don't

482
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.079
pay attention to them because we're so busy. We're so

483
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:45.880
drowned in this go go go. And that's why I

484
00:24:45.960 --> 00:24:50.279
talk about the importance of having some type of a

485
00:24:50.359 --> 00:24:53.480
ritual where you're checking in with that inner part of yourself.

486
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:56.599
It's interesting I had a guest on my podcast, two

487
00:24:56.680 --> 00:25:00.599
guests on my podcast in the last season, and they

488
00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:03.200
were psychologists, and they said both of them said the

489
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:05.119
same thing, and then I did a fact check to say,

490
00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:08.920
is that true? Really, ninety five percent of what we

491
00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:10.319
do is unconscious.

492
00:25:10.759 --> 00:25:13.079
Yeah, I've heard that step before as well.

493
00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:17.799
And ninety five percent I mean, that is staggering to me.

494
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:22.839
And so if in fact that it's true, then there's

495
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:25.319
so much that's going on that we're not even paying

496
00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:25.880
attention to.

497
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:28.640
Yeah. Absolutely, So part of.

498
00:25:28.599 --> 00:25:31.839
It is learning to pay attention stop going through the motions,

499
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:35.240
which is really most of our life, ninety five percent

500
00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:37.960
of our life is going through the motions, and so

501
00:25:38.279 --> 00:25:42.640
stop going through the motions and start bringing more of

502
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:47.559
that unconscious into our conscious awareness and become more conscious

503
00:25:47.559 --> 00:25:51.680
about it. Yes, I think that is the beauty of

504
00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:54.519
thunderbolts because it forces us to do that, because it

505
00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:57.319
opens up this portal that you know, it's pain, a

506
00:25:57.359 --> 00:26:02.839
pain portal that causes us to surrender that to that unconscious.

507
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:06.559
But what we can also do that without waiting for

508
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:09.400
a thunderbolt and right to be at their mercy. And

509
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:11.720
I think that's really a key point here.

510
00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:14.720
It is. And you know, the other major thunderbolt that

511
00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:18.640
happened for me at least so far as both of

512
00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:20.880
my parents passed twenty eight days apart in January of

513
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:26.839
twenty nineteen, and that just really that I wasn't expecting it.

514
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:28.720
My mother was always she was seventy three years old.

515
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:32.279
She was so smart and so strong, and she just

516
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:34.119
had given up the world to live, and as a

517
00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:38.039
logo therapist, I understand that that's what happens. But my

518
00:26:38.119 --> 00:26:40.640
dad largely followed her out with a broken heart twenty

519
00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:43.279
eight days later. And so suddenly I'm the top of

520
00:26:43.319 --> 00:26:46.000
the mountain. I'm the oldest child, and I'm like, okay,

521
00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:48.680
And this whole idea of I'll get to it someday,

522
00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:52.799
suddenly that was gone. There's no perhaps not someday, And

523
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:55.519
it gave me a fire, Janet, and that is really

524
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:57.759
where that was. Twenty nineteen, I got my first book

525
00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:00.279
out and the next year of twenty twenty, and then

526
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:02.079
I resolved I would write one book a year for

527
00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:03.839
ten years, and so far I'm on track to do that.

528
00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:07.079
But part of that came from the recognition the thunderbolt

529
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:10.279
of you know what I don't have? You know, maybe

530
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:13.599
when I get to it kind of thing. And Dan

531
00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:16.240
Pink his book on Win also taught me a lot

532
00:27:16.279 --> 00:27:20.279
about time and how halftime can be a really catalyzing

533
00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:22.119
force for a lot of people, and listeners and viewers

534
00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:24.119
want you to think about that if you think you're halftime.

535
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:27.559
When I got into my fifties, I went man, I'm

536
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:31.279
at halftime and I feel like I'm behind, and that

537
00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:34.240
motivation is strong when you start to get a recognition.

538
00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:36.079
So what I love about we're talking about here, Jennet,

539
00:27:36.279 --> 00:27:39.480
is we're talking about how can we access and put

540
00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:44.079
in motion these catalyzing forces to evolve and transform and

541
00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:47.359
become more of who we really are without the need

542
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:50.799
of thunderbolts or some of these other major life impacts.

543
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.400
Yeah, and it's interesting the stories that we tell ourselves

544
00:27:55.440 --> 00:27:58.240
to avoid it, because I do think we avoid this.

545
00:27:58.599 --> 00:28:01.640
I think we avoid going in because it's hard. It's

546
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:03.799
hard to sit there and figure out, Okay, what do

547
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:05.240
I do with the rest of my life? Or am

548
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:06.680
I happy? Am I fulfilled?

549
00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:07.599
Is my?

550
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:11.319
Does my life have meaning? And going back to your thing,

551
00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:13.559
you know, is does it have purpose? And passion? I

552
00:28:13.559 --> 00:28:17.920
mean all of those, all of those questions we avoid

553
00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:21.359
because we just keep going and going and going. And

554
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:24.920
I think what you just said was so powerful is

555
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:29.960
that a lot of those things are excuses because if

556
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:32.799
we have to wait for the thunderbolt, that thunderbolt may

557
00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:36.559
come pretty later on in that halftime, it may come

558
00:28:36.599 --> 00:28:39.880
in the fourth quarter, right, and so wherever that is

559
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:42.079
that we shouldn't be waiting for that. We should be

560
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:46.920
taking those steps right now to start to think about okay,

561
00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:51.039
am I am I living in alignment with who I'm

562
00:28:51.160 --> 00:28:52.039
who I want to become.

563
00:28:52.759 --> 00:28:55.240
Mm hmmm. Which is I think why both you and

564
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:57.480
I love the work that we do is helping people

565
00:28:57.559 --> 00:28:59.119
to be able to do just that. It's, you know,

566
00:28:59.160 --> 00:29:01.119
in many ways, this is what I think is so amazing,

567
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:04.799
right is I know in my own path one path

568
00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:06.599
to purpose is what's ailed you in your life that

569
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:09.200
in the wrestling of that, that you've learned something that

570
00:29:09.240 --> 00:29:11.559
you can help others with in the same fashion. And

571
00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:13.799
maybe some of that was also your path, but that

572
00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:15.720
was mine, and that's you know, wrestling with meaning and

573
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:18.720
purpose in my mid twenties, et cetera, and now today,

574
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:22.480
helping more people to be able to discover that unique

575
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.839
authentic path to themselves, to their soul so they can

576
00:29:25.880 --> 00:29:27.720
live from that place is really a lot of the

577
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:29.160
work that I do too. I do it as for

578
00:29:29.240 --> 00:29:32.839
individuals in leaders and organizations as well as for the

579
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:35.880
organization itself. What's the soul of the organization, what's the

580
00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:39.559
purpose of the organization? And it's such beautiful work to

581
00:29:39.599 --> 00:29:42.799
be able to watch someone's molecules change right in front

582
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:45.200
of your eyes as they discover this for themselves.

583
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:50.359
Yeah, so I amen, I so agree with that. And

584
00:29:50.519 --> 00:29:53.240
when we talk about the word soul, I think sometimes

585
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:57.079
people get scared off by that or it's like, okay,

586
00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:00.240
is that a religious thing or what exactly are we

587
00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:03.880
talking about? So when I talk about the word soul,

588
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:07.079
I'm talking about a deep place inside of ourselves that

589
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:12.160
is that it's universal, it's connected to everything else. And

590
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:16.400
we know that energy is connected, that we're all energy,

591
00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:19.839
and there is a place where we have connection with

592
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:24.440
everybody else. And often we don't connect with people in

593
00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:28.519
that place. We connect with them on the surface or

594
00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:31.400
from a place of fear, from a place of survival.

595
00:30:31.559 --> 00:30:33.400
The things we talked about before is you know, how

596
00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:36.279
do I protect myself? How do I please? We're not

597
00:30:36.359 --> 00:30:41.440
connecting on this pure level that really brings us meaning.

598
00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:45.039
And what we start to see is that because we

599
00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:49.000
crave that. Look at what happens in workplaces when we

600
00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:51.400
connect when we don't connect with that, Look at what

601
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:53.720
happens in society. I mean, look at what's happening right

602
00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:57.279
now in our society. So I think when we're talking

603
00:30:57.279 --> 00:31:00.279
about soul. We're not talking about some ethereal thing. We're

604
00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:02.799
just talking about this human experience that we all have

605
00:31:03.079 --> 00:31:06.559
that is deep inside of us that we can connect to.

606
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:11.720
Mm hm. I yes, I completely agree with that. And therefore,

607
00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:14.400
you know, it's something that is for everyone, isn't just

608
00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:17.319
something that maybe you want to opt into. But for

609
00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:20.160
me jended, I mean, I'm very, very interested in this field.

610
00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:23.119
I had Richard Barrett on my podcast a few weeks ago,

611
00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:25.440
and the man is all about soul. You know. He

612
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:28.160
has a book that's called What My Soul Told Me,

613
00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:31.319
and he what he really puts forth is we don't

614
00:31:31.319 --> 00:31:34.960
have a soul. We are a soul, exactly right. And

615
00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:37.480
so I think again, you know, if you look at today,

616
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:39.880
the Surgeon General has put out that loneliness is an

617
00:31:39.920 --> 00:31:44.039
epidemic and it's causing it's wreaking all kinds of havoc

618
00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:47.759
in our society. And loneliness is so bad for our

619
00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:50.599
health that it's the equivalent of smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

620
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:53.279
So if we can this is why I think your

621
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.400
work is important, why my work is important. We're helping

622
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:58.200
people to more meaningfully connect with themselves and each other.

623
00:31:58.680 --> 00:32:03.000
Now we start to eradicate this loneliness problem, right, and think.

624
00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:06.519
About when you say loneliness. It's interesting one of the

625
00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:09.359
people hate this question, by the way, but on the

626
00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:12.519
Gallop Survey employee engagement surveys at work, one of the

627
00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:15.039
questions is, you know, do you have a best friend

628
00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:17.559
at work? Now, they're not asking you whether you have

629
00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:20.640
friends at work. They're asking you whether you feel connected

630
00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:23.440
at work. That's really what they're asking you when they

631
00:32:23.480 --> 00:32:26.079
ask you that question, because people hate that question. But

632
00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:28.920
really what we're talking about is that loneliness. Do you

633
00:32:29.039 --> 00:32:32.720
have a connection at work? At work? And so this

634
00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:36.000
is not a topic just you know, for outside of work.

635
00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:41.880
It's a topic that really impacts our work lives and

636
00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:45.319
also leadership. So, I mean, I think that's such an

637
00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:46.240
important point you make.

638
00:32:47.599 --> 00:32:50.400
Well, we are kindred souls, my friend. And on that note,

639
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:52.680
let's grab our last break and letters, listeners and viewers

640
00:32:52.759 --> 00:32:54.920
kind of just do one what we've been sharing so far.

641
00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:57.519
I'm your host, doctor Elice Cortes. We've been on air

642
00:32:57.559 --> 00:33:00.720
with Jenetioli, who is an executive advisor, leadership coach, speaker,

643
00:33:00.720 --> 00:33:05.000
and career strategic strategist for women leaders at Power Presence Academy.

644
00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:08.279
We've been having a very delicious conversation about thunderbolts and

645
00:33:08.319 --> 00:33:10.640
other things that awaken us in life. We'll be right back.

646
00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:30.200
Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

647
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:34.039
and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author. She helps companies

648
00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:37.960
visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired

649
00:33:38.039 --> 00:33:42.000
leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and

650
00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:45.279
commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite

651
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:48.039
a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her

652
00:33:48.119 --> 00:33:51.359
at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get

653
00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:59.960
your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose

654
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:03.319
is with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today

655
00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:06.200
or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email

656
00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:11.840
to Elise ali Se at elisecortes dot com. Now back

657
00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:13.199
to working on Purpose.

658
00:34:18.280 --> 00:34:20.079
Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to Working

659
00:34:20.079 --> 00:34:22.599
on Purpose. I'm your host, Doctor release Cortes. I mentioned

660
00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:24.519
in the last break that my latest book came out,

661
00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:28.119
The Great Revitalization. What I did for you is I

662
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:30.480
created a very simple three page assessment you can pull

663
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:33.360
off my website gustodesh now dot com, and that will

664
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:36.760
help you understand the extent to which your organization's culture

665
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:41.440
is really living in the principles that are what today's

666
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:44.199
discerning workforce really wants. It will help you really guide

667
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:46.440
what you need to do next. If you are just

668
00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:48.880
joining me. My guest is Janet Ioli. She's the author

669
00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:52.480
of Less Ego, More Soul. So I wanted to talk

670
00:34:52.519 --> 00:34:56.880
a little bit about some of the gifts of thunderbolts,

671
00:34:56.920 --> 00:34:58.320
you know, what they give us. I think we've been

672
00:34:58.360 --> 00:34:59.719
sort of talking a little bit about that in each

673
00:34:59.719 --> 00:35:02.760
of our stories. But I think it's helpful because I know,

674
00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:05.159
you know, there's also the segment of society where that

675
00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:07.320
you know, like how can this had to happen to me?

676
00:35:07.400 --> 00:35:09.800
And gosh, you know, we can fall into a sort

677
00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:13.719
of a victim mode instead of really embracing our agency

678
00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:15.800
and our you know, as of course, you know Victor

679
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:19.039
Frankel taught us as we have a choice between stimulus

680
00:35:19.079 --> 00:35:21.960
and response, and that is our attitude. So can you

681
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:23.880
talk a little bit of Janet, from your perspective and

682
00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:26.239
experience about some of the gifts of thunderbolts.

683
00:35:27.239 --> 00:35:29.199
Well, at the moment, they don't feel in gifts, that's

684
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:34.199
for sure, right, exactly, and it is why is this

685
00:35:34.239 --> 00:35:36.719
happening to me? I think it's only in hindsight that

686
00:35:36.760 --> 00:35:38.760
we can look back and say, wow, like you said

687
00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:41.079
about your divorce, I'm sure that in that moment, that

688
00:35:41.119 --> 00:35:43.320
did not feel like a gift to you, No, and

689
00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:47.239
tore your whole world apart, I'm sure it did. Yeah, right,

690
00:35:47.360 --> 00:35:50.800
And so anytime we've experienced anything like that, it doesn't

691
00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:55.079
feel like a gift. I'll tell you, my I'll give

692
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:58.000
you an example of this one, and it's a it's

693
00:35:58.039 --> 00:36:00.800
a it's a very personal example. But I have a

694
00:36:00.840 --> 00:36:07.760
stepdaughter who is twenty four years old and we've no

695
00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:10.440
I've known her since she was five, right, And when

696
00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:15.480
she was twenty her in her second year of college,

697
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:22.079
she developed thyroid cancer and you had to have her

698
00:36:22.119 --> 00:36:25.760
thyroid removed. And she also, boy, I'm tearing up as

699
00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:29.800
I talk about this, but she also had you know,

700
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:33.039
to take out lymph nodes. It was it was pretty progressed.

701
00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:35.840
We never had really noticed that there was this big

702
00:36:35.960 --> 00:36:39.960
lump on her throat. It's just it was amazing. And

703
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.000
so anyway, so she you know, is in remission when

704
00:36:44.159 --> 00:36:48.119
you know everything is fine now. But she said, she said,

705
00:36:48.159 --> 00:36:51.480
you know, at getting that at an early late age,

706
00:36:51.480 --> 00:36:54.400
and she's she's studied to become a therapist and she's

707
00:36:54.440 --> 00:36:57.960
in her first job now at her age, being a

708
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:00.519
therapist because she wanted to help people. But she said,

709
00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:04.039
getting that at her age, she said, was a blessing

710
00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:08.440
and a gift, but hard to believe, right, And she

711
00:37:08.519 --> 00:37:11.679
said the reason that was a blessing in a gift

712
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:15.119
is because she lives her life in a different way

713
00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:22.440
than her peers, because she realizes the the delicacy and

714
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:28.559
the frigility of it, but also realizes that, you know,

715
00:37:28.639 --> 00:37:33.760
life just goes by and you either have something to

716
00:37:33.880 --> 00:37:36.480
offer or something to do in this life or not.

717
00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:40.440
And so she just has this sense of urgency at

718
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:43.320
least that I've never seen. And she'll talk about it

719
00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:46.400
as that was a gift. If I hadn't, I wouldn't

720
00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:48.480
have seen things the way I see them. And she

721
00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:51.840
is so mature, I mean compared to what she was before.

722
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:58.679
You know, she a typical person growing up, right, I

723
00:37:58.719 --> 00:38:00.880
can't believe I feel like I'm living with a wise

724
00:38:00.920 --> 00:38:03.840
woman right when I see her. And so what I

725
00:38:03.880 --> 00:38:06.519
think that is one of the gifts is that it

726
00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:11.760
really wisened her. And I think that can happen to

727
00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:14.440
all of us, is that we've become wiser. We learn

728
00:38:14.840 --> 00:38:18.119
so much from a thunderbolt. I know from my thunderbolt,

729
00:38:18.159 --> 00:38:20.280
I learned that the same kind of the same thing

730
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:23.960
you know with my father is the urgency, the sense

731
00:38:23.960 --> 00:38:25.880
of urgency. Kind of what you were saying is that

732
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:29.719
my gosh, I don't have this unlimited time, and so

733
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:31.719
what am I going to do? As you know, Mary

734
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:35.079
Oliver says, with this one precious life I have, you know,

735
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:36.559
and not only what am I going to do, but

736
00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:37.480
who am I going to be and how am I

737
00:38:37.559 --> 00:38:41.320
going to serve? So it really helps in that way.

738
00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:43.440
And you know, we're not trying to be morbid here.

739
00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:45.079
I think you know, we're not saying, oh, you know,

740
00:38:45.199 --> 00:38:48.519
all these bad things can happen, but when these things

741
00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:51.320
happen to us. I'll give you another example. I have

742
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:56.519
a my best friend from high school. Her daughter would

743
00:38:56.559 --> 00:38:59.760
have been the same age as my stepdaughter now, and

744
00:38:59.800 --> 00:39:02.519
she died when she was ten and a half. And

745
00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:04.960
she just died on the playground. She had a heart

746
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.400
attack on the playground at age ten. Ten ten, she

747
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:13.400
should have a pacemaker from birth right, but she was fine,

748
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:16.360
Like it was not at all expected. It was the

749
00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:18.840
doctors had given her a clean bill of health and

750
00:39:18.920 --> 00:39:24.719
she died. And that was talking about a thunderbolt. I

751
00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:28.480
mean that was like twenty thousand thunderbolts coming all at once,

752
00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:31.320
you know, to her and to her husband, who they

753
00:39:31.519 --> 00:39:33.519
sent her to school in the morning, and then that evening,

754
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:36.679
you know, she was in the hospital in the emergency

755
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:41.840
room on life support. So when we look at that,

756
00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:44.920
you know, she it took her I mean obviously grief

757
00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:47.719
and all of these things. But what she did is

758
00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:52.440
she said, hey, you know what I've learned from this experience,

759
00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:54.159
and this is years later it took her a while,

760
00:39:55.039 --> 00:39:58.800
is that you know, we have a gift of parenting.

761
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:02.039
We're really good parents parents. And so she started to

762
00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:06.960
foster kids, and you know, she adopted kids, and she's

763
00:40:07.199 --> 00:40:12.920
been like this beacon of role model parent all of

764
00:40:12.960 --> 00:40:15.480
these things because she said, the gift that was given

765
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:18.039
to me was to continue to do this, whether it

766
00:40:18.079 --> 00:40:20.800
was with my biological child or with other kill that

767
00:40:20.880 --> 00:40:22.920
I have this gift of love to gift to children.

768
00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:28.880
And it's just amazing now to see now her kids

769
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:32.239
now are in their teens, and it's just amazing to

770
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:35.599
see what she did with that thunderbolt as she found

771
00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:37.320
a purpose. It's kind of what you were saying. She

772
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:42.440
found meaning in that terrible tragedy and these kids benefited

773
00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:42.960
from that.

774
00:40:42.920 --> 00:40:45.599
Right, they sure did. Yeah, that's such a beautiful story.

775
00:40:45.599 --> 00:40:48.400
You do talk about that your friend in your book,

776
00:40:48.440 --> 00:40:51.159
of course, and I did want to further this is

777
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:52.800
I want to read a little something from your book

778
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:54.440
that I think is really beautiful, Jenman, to ask you

779
00:40:54.440 --> 00:40:57.280
to kind of comment on it. Yeah, excuse me. I

780
00:40:57.400 --> 00:40:59.599
like that you talk about this idea of you know,

781
00:40:59.679 --> 00:41:02.239
this query process that you talk about is really about

782
00:41:02.280 --> 00:41:05.440
trying to become your whole version of yourself, you know,

783
00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:09.199
becoming whole, And you say by that, I mean awakening

784
00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:12.639
to the magnificence of your own existence, coming to terms

785
00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:16.519
with and embracing your individual journey and the legacy you

786
00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:20.519
have inherited from your unique upbringing and experiences. Realizing that

787
00:41:20.559 --> 00:41:24.440
despite your uniqueness, you are not separate, Understanding how you

788
00:41:24.519 --> 00:41:26.960
and other human beings are more the same than different,

789
00:41:27.599 --> 00:41:30.360
Integrating the inner wisdom that connects you to everything, and

790
00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:33.159
creating the self that you are called to be to

791
00:41:33.239 --> 00:41:37.079
allow you to contribute and serve fully. That is so beautiful.

792
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:39.800
I think I think most people listening to this or

793
00:41:39.840 --> 00:41:42.920
watching this are probably leaning and saying, yes, I want

794
00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:43.679
that for myself.

795
00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:46.840
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think we're going back full

796
00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:49.199
circle to the time when you know, I was a

797
00:41:49.239 --> 00:41:52.719
kid with the with the lazy eye, right, and feeling

798
00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:58.400
so different and so alienated and realizing that wait a minute,

799
00:41:58.440 --> 00:42:01.079
we're all the same. We all feel that pain. I mean,

800
00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:03.039
how many of us have ever been made fun of

801
00:42:03.280 --> 00:42:06.480
or have had experiences where we just didn't fit in?

802
00:42:06.519 --> 00:42:09.199
And what is the pain that's associated that we all

803
00:42:09.239 --> 00:42:14.880
feel that? And I think what we do is we

804
00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:19.239
we allow shame or we allow fear to cloud that

805
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:22.440
connection that we have with others, because really, on some level,

806
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:25.559
it was fear because I look different. Because I look different,

807
00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:28.119
people started to become afraid of me. They would say,

808
00:42:28.239 --> 00:42:32.880
you're a freak, You're not like me, You're not normal.

809
00:42:34.199 --> 00:42:37.119
And so you know what I challenge in my book

810
00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:39.880
and in my work with people is you know what

811
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:43.039
is normal? You know there's there's beauty in each one

812
00:42:43.079 --> 00:42:45.920
of us, and so how do you come to terms

813
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:49.000
with that magnificence of yourself and realize that there are

814
00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:51.639
shadow parts. We all have the good, the potential for

815
00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:54.800
good evil, come to terms with all of that and

816
00:42:54.840 --> 00:42:57.320
realize that's all part of the human experience. But everyone

817
00:42:57.360 --> 00:43:01.800
else is just as magnificent as you are. And how

818
00:43:01.800 --> 00:43:07.079
do you connect with people on that level? It with curiosity,

819
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:14.639
with openness, with admiration, with just respect. I mean, I

820
00:43:14.639 --> 00:43:17.480
think that's that's another piece that's missing in our world today,

821
00:43:17.599 --> 00:43:21.639
is just respect, respect your uniqueness that you bring forward,

822
00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:25.079
and that doesn't diminish mine. So it's not a competition.

823
00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:27.800
I mean, just like we're having this podcast right now,

824
00:43:27.840 --> 00:43:29.880
you know we I mean I can feel the light

825
00:43:29.920 --> 00:43:35.239
shining as we're talking because you're in your magnificence. I'm

826
00:43:35.320 --> 00:43:38.840
bringing some magnificence forward and we're bringing that together into

827
00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:43.079
one light and it's shining together. So it's not you know,

828
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:47.199
your title or my title, it's we're on the same journey.

829
00:43:47.360 --> 00:43:50.079
We're on the same mission. Mm hmm, makes sense.

830
00:43:50.920 --> 00:43:55.599
But it's oh, sister, I completely got with you turned down,

831
00:43:56.079 --> 00:43:57.599
I'm picking up what you're laying down. I got you,

832
00:43:58.039 --> 00:43:59.719
And I think our listeners and viewers do too, So

833
00:43:59.800 --> 00:44:02.079
I want to give a challenge to our listener, listeners

834
00:44:02.079 --> 00:44:05.559
and viewers. You are someone in an organization, Let's say,

835
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:07.679
I don't care if you're a leader, individual contributor, if

836
00:44:07.719 --> 00:44:10.840
you're the boss, or whatever, but you have the ability

837
00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:13.960
to really ripple a positive effect into your organization. And

838
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:17.480
if you are in charge of a division or an organization,

839
00:44:17.800 --> 00:44:22.039
you your own individual growth is where the company can

840
00:44:22.039 --> 00:44:24.039
grow too. So if you're not continuing to grow as

841
00:44:24.079 --> 00:44:27.119
a leader, your organization is going to stay just right

842
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:29.559
where you're at as well. So imagine what could happen

843
00:44:29.639 --> 00:44:32.559
in your organization if you went and did what Jen

844
00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:34.639
and I are talking about here, where you went out

845
00:44:34.639 --> 00:44:38.400
to go help your team to find their own magnificence,

846
00:44:38.679 --> 00:44:40.639
to go and see what is it that makes them

847
00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:47.440
special and really be deliciously intentional about celebrating that bringing

848
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:49.559
that up. What would happen in your organization if you

849
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:52.280
started doing this kind of work first on yourself and

850
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:54.880
then you unleashed it in your organization. Oh my gosh,

851
00:44:54.920 --> 00:44:57.199
tell us what would happen? Wouldn't that be fun? Jenna?

852
00:44:57.239 --> 00:44:59.280
We would love to get that challenge from your life.

853
00:45:00.039 --> 00:45:02.559
Many times do you hear at least. I hear this

854
00:45:02.679 --> 00:45:04.920
as a as a coach, I hear this all the time.

855
00:45:04.960 --> 00:45:08.159
It's like, I want to bring my whole self. Yeah,

856
00:45:08.320 --> 00:45:10.679
I want to bring my whole self. And that's what

857
00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:13.840
we're talking about, is is starting to look at people's

858
00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:16.199
whole selves or how many times are there people in

859
00:45:16.199 --> 00:45:19.320
your organization that are that and when that could be you?

860
00:45:19.719 --> 00:45:22.320
Because I know I've been there where you feel like

861
00:45:22.360 --> 00:45:25.760
you're only contributing five percent of your what you could contribute.

862
00:45:25.960 --> 00:45:27.000
Totally have felt that way.

863
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:31.360
Yes, so much potential because people aren't seeing you, they're

864
00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:33.519
not seeing that potential. They have you in this little

865
00:45:33.599 --> 00:45:36.320
job description, in this little box and it's like, Okay,

866
00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:39.360
well you do this and you're this or you're this

867
00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:42.000
is what you contribute. And then people say, well, you

868
00:45:42.079 --> 00:45:45.880
know my talents aren't quote being utilized. Well, what if

869
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:48.800
we could see people in the way that so much,

870
00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:50.599
that they're so much bigger and that they have so

871
00:45:50.639 --> 00:45:53.440
many other talents. But we don't. I don't think we're

872
00:45:54.239 --> 00:45:56.239
wired or we feel like we don't have the time

873
00:45:56.280 --> 00:45:59.280
to see people that way. And I think part of

874
00:45:59.320 --> 00:46:03.039
seeing yourself and learning to go in side of yourself

875
00:46:03.079 --> 00:46:07.559
also helps you see the bigness of others. Yes, so

876
00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:10.199
much bigger than what we bring forward.

877
00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:13.239
I love that, Janet. Yes, what if we went looking

878
00:46:13.320 --> 00:46:15.800
ladies and gens for the bigness and everyone on our team,

879
00:46:16.360 --> 00:46:18.719
and then we got out of the way and unleashed

880
00:46:18.760 --> 00:46:22.199
all of that beautiful passion and drive and their desire

881
00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:25.079
to contribute, what would happen. That's the kind of organizations

882
00:46:25.119 --> 00:46:28.239
that I'm out to create. I call them destination workplaces,

883
00:46:28.719 --> 00:46:33.239
I think, right, And so why am I an organizational psychologist, Janet?

884
00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:36.719
I'm not a clinical psychologist because I believe in the

885
00:46:36.760 --> 00:46:40.000
wonder and power of work as a way of being

886
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:42.239
in the world as serving and it is helping us

887
00:46:42.239 --> 00:46:48.280
to realize our potential. Yeah, so right, And so I

888
00:46:48.400 --> 00:46:50.960
just am wanting our listeners and viewers to really recognize

889
00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:55.840
how much they can contribute to one this loneliness problem

890
00:46:55.880 --> 00:46:58.679
that we're all dealing with too, helping people to realize

891
00:46:58.719 --> 00:47:01.320
their own magnificence right in their own companies and their

892
00:47:01.360 --> 00:47:04.800
own organizations. And then three, really being clear about what

893
00:47:04.840 --> 00:47:07.039
happens if you, the leader, really started doing some of

894
00:47:07.079 --> 00:47:10.000
this work on yourself, where you're giving yourself as time

895
00:47:10.039 --> 00:47:13.840
to be reflective daily weekly to be able to listen

896
00:47:13.880 --> 00:47:16.320
for that whisper, and you started to recognize what is

897
00:47:16.360 --> 00:47:18.679
the right next place for you to put your foot

898
00:47:18.719 --> 00:47:21.480
on the lily pad, if you will. That's the kind

899
00:47:21.519 --> 00:47:23.400
of stuff that I really feel like, Jennet, if we

900
00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:26.079
can start just to you know, two percent, three percent,

901
00:47:26.199 --> 00:47:28.679
that ripple effect is huge.

902
00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:33.239
Drip drip drip, Yes, absolutely, And I think sometimes these

903
00:47:33.239 --> 00:47:36.800
things seem so ma, you know, magnificent or big, and

904
00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:38.679
so we're like, oh, you know, what's the impact I'm

905
00:47:38.679 --> 00:47:40.679
going to have. What's the impact on I'm going to have?

906
00:47:40.679 --> 00:47:44.880
And I always question people. I know I've had teachers

907
00:47:44.920 --> 00:47:47.599
have such an dramatic impact on me, or they changed

908
00:47:47.599 --> 00:47:50.280
the course of my life, or one conversation with someone

909
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:53.039
had a huge impact on my life. So I think

910
00:47:53.039 --> 00:47:56.639
it's these moments, these moments where we're you know, every

911
00:47:56.639 --> 00:47:59.679
single moment we're having an impact on someone and you

912
00:47:59.800 --> 00:48:04.400
never know what impact you're having if you're not more

913
00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:08.239
conscious of those moments. And so the challenge I would

914
00:48:08.239 --> 00:48:11.559
give to people is really start to be more conscious

915
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:15.920
about your every interaction you have with people and who

916
00:48:15.920 --> 00:48:19.039
are you being in that moment. So that's a thing

917
00:48:19.079 --> 00:48:21.079
that I always challenge myself is who am I being

918
00:48:21.159 --> 00:48:23.960
right now as I'm having this conversation with someone.

919
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:26.880
That is a beautiful way for us to finish the show. Janet,

920
00:48:27.159 --> 00:48:29.480
you are a beautiful soul. I'm so happy to call

921
00:48:29.519 --> 00:48:33.039
you a sister and a friend, a comrade in I

922
00:48:33.079 --> 00:48:35.559
don't want to say arms because that's got a negative connotation,

923
00:48:35.679 --> 00:48:38.079
but a comrade and the work that we're doing. Thank

924
00:48:38.079 --> 00:48:39.920
you for coming on, thank you for writing your books,

925
00:48:39.960 --> 00:48:41.719
doing the work that you're doing, and being on working

926
00:48:41.760 --> 00:48:42.239
on purpose.

927
00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:45.920
Oh, thank you. It's been my pleasure and I'm honored

928
00:48:45.960 --> 00:48:47.039
to be on your show. Thank you.

929
00:48:47.440 --> 00:48:49.840
Thank you, Janet. Listeners of viewers, you are going to

930
00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:51.639
want to follow this woman to learn more about her

931
00:48:51.639 --> 00:48:54.039
work and her books. The best way to do that

932
00:48:54.119 --> 00:48:57.360
is her website. It's Janet Aioli dot com. Let me

933
00:48:57.400 --> 00:49:01.519
spell that for you, Janet J. A. N. E Ioli

934
00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:06.320
Ioli Janetioli dot com. Last week, if you missed The

935
00:49:06.360 --> 00:49:08.639
Life Show, you can always catch it via recorded podcast.

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We were on air with Chavon McHale talking about her

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work and helping people lead change in her book The

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Hive Mind at Work. Next week we'll be on with

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doctor Jordan Grummitt talking about his book The Purpose Code,

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How to Unlock meaning, maximize happiness, and leave a lasting legacy.

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He teaches us that we can all access purpose and

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it doesn't have to be on a grand scale to

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be meaningful and fulfilling. See you there, and remember that

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work is one of the best adventures and means of

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realizing our potential and making the impact we crave. So

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let's work on Purpose.

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We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to

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tune into Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes,

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each week on W four C. Why Together We'll create

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a world where business operates conscientiously, leadership inspires and passion

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performance and employees are fulfilled in work that provides the

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meaning and purpose they crave. See you there, Let's work

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on per This