Alpha Females Living with Passion, Working on Purpose

WEBVTT

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortes. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on Purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back to

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the Working on Purpose Show. Thanks
for tuning in again this week. I'm

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your host, Elise Cortez, joining
you from Dallas, Texas, which is

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home base for me. This program
is all about helping people more meaningfully and

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productively connect with their work and equipping
organizations to do the same for their employees.

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I bring on guests from a particular
perspective or experience that I think expands

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the conversation, and I often draw
on the meaning of work research I've been

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doing over the last fifteen years,
as well as my own experience consulting,

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including the work I do today at
Insignium, which is a global manage a

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consulting firm. I will get to
the program in just a moment, but

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let me thank my media partner and
sponsored jobbing dot Com. Jobbing dot com

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is the leading locally focused job board
in the nation and they are dedicated to

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helping employers find quality talent in their
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their search so I you can find
work close to home. Great partnership.

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Thank you jobbing dot Com. Last
week, if you missed the show live,

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you can always catch it via recorded
podcast. We were on the air

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with Ed Christmas of solog Solutions and
we talked about how driverless cars and smart

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cities will change the way we live
and work, and we talked about how

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the generations in the workplace will need
to work even more closely in that new

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world. Really really interesting conversation with
us this week is cc Lyons, who

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is an up and coming author that
addresses taboo topics that others dare not embark

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She's the author of Alpha Female Unleashed
From the Boardroom to the Bedroom. We'll

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be talking about what she means by
the alpha female, which is the subject

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of her book, how alpha females
can uniquely contribute in the workplace and how

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they show up in relationships in communities. CDC joined today from McKinney, Texas

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CC. Welcome to Working on Purpose. Thank you so much, pleasure to

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be here. Yeah, I'm looking
forward to the show. As I mentioned

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to you before we got on the
air, it just so happened. I

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was having a few conversations with people
about, you know, strong women showing

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up and what was happening in the
workplace with regard to how things were changing

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up and such, and so I
think we're going to get some pretty strong

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interest on this episode, So stand
by for that. It'll be fun.

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Great hang on to your head as
you like to say, right absolutely,

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yes, okay, Well, so
to get us started here, Anybody,

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anybody that knows me and I've been
listening to the show, knows that I

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am a social scientist. I like
studying people. I am very interested in

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how society is changing in the way
that the genders seem to be reorganizing themselves.

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And when you think about the fact, I'm also a university professor here

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at SMU, more women are going
to college than men these days and getting

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degrees. And you know, the
recent news is there are now programs in

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place in organists to assist male counterparts
of a woman who's relocating for their job

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when they get a promotion or it
requires a move. It's just fascinating some

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of the changes. And here you
are, you've written a book about alpha

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females. So let me first start
by asking, so our listeners really get

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this, what do you mean by
alpha females? What's that term mean?

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So you know, I sum it
up in the book in three words,

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and their beauty, power, and
soul, And what I mean by that

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these are a specific type of women. They are a subset of the female

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population, a very small and a
very rare subset. These are basically what

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people will consider alpha males in a
female form, and so they may not

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be the prettiest woman in the room, but they have that inner beauty to

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where they can command the room and
they actually take over the room without wanting

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to take over. They have that
sense of power to where you know they

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are heavily influential people and can have
that power over the boardroom, over the

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bedroom in society, and are the
risk takers, the trailblazers. These are

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also the women that have the purpose
in their soul, which is what makes

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them different because they're driven by a
soulful purpose and that's the big difference between

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them and what I call the regular
female population. If that makes sense.

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It does, And you gave me
goosebumps when you were talking about that.

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That is just great. Okay.
So my next question then, is you've

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written a book about this. You're
clearly passionate about themselves about this topic yourself,

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and you're probably, i'm going to
guess, an alpha female yourself.

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I want to understand where you got
the interest in alf the females and enough

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to be able to actually produce this
book the interest started, So you know,

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it's funny. I think I've probably
missed my calling. My undergrad is

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actually engineering, kind of a business
degree from you, right, which would

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not most engineers, of course,
don't pay attention to people. It was

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actually starting to notice people women,
and I started noticing a pattern on certain

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types of women, whether that were
mentees, especially mentors that were older than

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me, and I started noticing some
of the same patterns the way they moved.

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Why all of a sudden you would
pick up on this particular type of

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woman watching to walk into a ballroom
and say certain things and no other woman

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could. Why she had that certain
presence about her? Were the other ones

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didn't and then kind of took a
look at myself and said, okay,

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what is this factor that I'm seeing
the same pattern. And it didn't matter

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what nationality she was or anything like
that, even the age didn't matter.

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You just picked up on it.
And so, having a conversation with a

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colleague of mine at the time,
said, you know, yeah, thinking

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this is you know, apple females, and so I said, you know,

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there has to be something to it. So I put the scientific hat

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on and said, you know,
I want to know more whether it's a

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out me, but more or less
about the subject matter in them as a

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species. And so I went around
the country a couple of years ago literally

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interviewing men and women on the subject
matter from every race, creed, color,

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religion, age group, social status, you name it. And the

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feedback of astounding and those are the
stories accluse to my own that have gone

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into the book. So with all
real stories, HM, this is just

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you know, as you talk CC, I can certainly presence several women that

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come to my mind that I've come
across to who would I think fit the

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alpha female description. And to that
end, one of the things that you

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talk about in your book which I
think is fascinating as you have. I

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think it's a whole chapter that you
talk about how alpha females are born,

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not made, and that to me
means that's that's their innate way of being,

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that's the way they came. Is
that what you mean? Absolutely?

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So it became one of the top
questions I would get all the time,

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and even one of the top questions
or was presented during the course of interviews,

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was the nature over nurture type scenario, right are they really born?

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Are they made this way? And
it was very interesting and interviewing close to

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you, I would say officially on
record recordings close to seventy with the unofficial

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people close to one hundred people,
it was interesting that people really knew.

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When they would tell their stories.
You would hear those women say, look,

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I've been this way all my life. I came this way. This

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is how they tried to break me. But I always realized I was different,

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and I didn't understand why versus those
what I call augmented that has that

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same kind of exterior, but they
aren't hard wired that way. And they'll

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tell you and say, you know, I really kind of wasn't this way,

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but this is what happened in my
life, or this is what I

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seen, it happened to my parents, or my parents pushed me this way.

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So there's definitely a shift in those
that are really born that way.

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Those that are born are hardwired from
the day they arrived to the world to

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the day they leave the world.
Do you think that's fascinating? Do you

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think to that and at all?
CC can can the environment somewhat shape women

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so that they head toward being an
alpha female? And then I'm gonna ask

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another question to follow that up.
Do you think that there's any nurturing that

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can help develop someone into an alpha
female? Sure, but I would say

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be careful. That's what I call
the augment it. And there is a

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difference. And the reason why I
say there's a difference is because they're literally

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not hardwired, which in some ways
is a plus side for them, because

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they're a little bit more flexible in
their beliefs. The trick is is that

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they may be kind of on the
cuffs. And in the book, I

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use the number eight to kind of
give a reference, which I didn't realize

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at the time that eight actually represents
everything that the alpha female is. Right,

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But the number eight, and so
it goes back to you could be

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born an eight that's a true alpha, or you could be born a six

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or seven, right, and something
happens where you become more alpha, or

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something can happen in different directions.
They get you to become more baita.

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That's the difference. So even though
they weren't born that way, there's something

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that nurtures them. Like I said, either their parents push them, or

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they get in a certain situation that
they've taken on kind of that persona.

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Now what gets very interesting is is
when you get them in high pressure situations

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or a real alpha, true born
alpha, shows up. That's when you

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can start to detect the difference between
the two because one's gonna get a little

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bit more skittish and more insecure,
where the true alpha, that's the other

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thing that separates her out. He's
not insecure by nature at all. That

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was one of the questions I wanted
to ask you, is just thinking about

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how do alpha females general relate to
non alpha females. What does that look

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like? It sounds like they don't
shirk, they maybe they even rise further

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to the occasion. But what's that
interaction look like. So alpha females are

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ones that can I call them kind
of chameleons because they can morph right,

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and they can adjust to being able
to work with really just about anyone,

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and so they work well to get
And this gets called out in the Book

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of the Queen Bee. Can there
be only one? Right, because especially

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in corporate America, Corporate America has
always made it such that there's only one

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woman at the top, right.
There can't be a bunch of women.

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You have to be very careful.
And it's even tighter from a minority woman's

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standpoint. Right, there's always that
feeling like the only be only one.

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When you get in that situation,
you will see where quote unquote they're pitting

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two alphas against each other. But
the trick is if one falters, then

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when I say one falters, it's
the flipping scenario. They become insecure and

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going to strict self preservation mode.
That's not the true alpha. If you

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have two true alpha females, you
can't pit them against one another. What

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they will do is going to collusion. And now you have a bigger problem

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on your hands. Say more about
that, a bigger problem. What do

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you mean by that a bigger problem. So you're talking about here's the belief

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or from what I found in writing
this book of what makes them people and

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I'll say society a little bit more
fearful about them, what makes people a

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little skittish, especially from a guy's
standpoint at that. Think about it.

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If you take an alpha man,
right that can compartmentalize and he's a strategist

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and he moves and he's calculating.
But you take that same scenario and put

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it on a woman, so she
has all those same strengths and none of

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the weaknesses. That's a scary thing. So now you have these two women

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together that you try to put against
each other, and now they go into

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collusion because there's a mutual respects there. And now it's saying, look,

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I'm gonna honor who you are.
But what they'll do is help each other

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out. And now because they're always
calculating, it's now the people that were

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trying to put them against each other, they're going to take them out.

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They're going to be the bigger power
players. That's why I said watch out

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because people, I've watched that mistake
happen many times before. Mm hmmmm hm.

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You know, I want to hear
about how how these alpha females generally

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relate to men as well. And
I want to just you know, speak

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because in the next segment I want
to talk about the workplace specifically. But

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how do men oftentimes react react to
alpha females. So it really depends on

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the type of man. Here's what's
interesting about this. Thisesses come out a

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lot in the interviews and in the
books. These women they will attract heavily

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beta men. The beta men that
will draw men like nobody's business, right,

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And the reason is is because again
they have that alphaism about them.

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So men in general right love that
is the strength side, and it's the

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confidence side. You can't shake them. They're accomplished. Majority of time,

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theyre accomplished, and so they have
their own to do their own thing.

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And they're not drama field as what
quote unquote society believes the esergen sex is

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right, no drama, So men
love that. Now the trick is that

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beta male what he loves, he
also comes to disdain because you try to

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harness that, but you're not going
to being who she is. So when

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they date her, all of a
sudden, they don't want her command in

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the room. They don't want these
other guys chasing after And now it becomes

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a real issue. You know what
you're making me think of? Sorry,

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go ahead, go ahead, no
say Well, the other side of that

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is, now, if you have
a true alpha male, that's the one

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person I think that and I true
belief that can actually will honor her right

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because he's confident within himself. He's
doing his own thing, he knows who

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she is. And the weird part
that comes about that is it's almost a

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uh, you know, unstoppable force
meets the immovable object. You got that

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weird push pull. Definitely sexual at
tension because they're competitive, but they're competitive

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in a good way. And now
it's almost how do you date yourself?

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Yeah? Now here's why I'm also
getting present too that I find just now

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you're to really kind of bring this
to my consciousness. When I talk about

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how how society is changing, right, so, we see more and more

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women being the bread winners of their
households. We see more and more men

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who are opting to stay at home
to take care of the kids while their

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their counterpart female earns that the money. And when I think about some of

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those relationships. You see they start
to head toward what you're talking about.

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I don't know if all these would
be eight alpha females as you describe them,

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but it seems like, you know, they're starting to resemble that.

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So we start to see a bit
of a traditional role reversal happening in society.

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Do you see that or what's your
take on that? Well, you

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definitely see where women are definitely making
those strides right, where women are becoming

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more impositions of authority in higher positions
in the workplace, which is a good

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thing. Right, We're hopefully we're
starting to get that just due. But

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I want to be clear, and
this is again something I reference in the

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00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:50.720
book, is that this is a
big, I guess misconception on both on

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00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:54.159
both genders. Just because you have
a woman in a position of authority or

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a woman in a certain executive position
does not make her alpha. I got

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that. I understand that a lot
of times they're very insecure and so and

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they're always looking over their shoulder,
so that becomes a very different thing.

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Now women in general know and this
gets talked about in the book as well.

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I want women to understand if you're
not alpha it's okay, be okay

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with who you are. This book
was done because the word the alpha female

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has been so one has either been
used kind of trendy to say, you

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00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:30.639
know, boss check or whatever,
or it's been shown up in media and

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stuff so negatively and people and they
get accosted with some things that they never

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are. So it's the fake ones
they go out there and try to claim

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it that aren't even it. It's
giving it a bad name. So it

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was time to set the record straight. So as you see now in society

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where you have a lot of guys
staying at home, which I commend the

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guys again, those are smart guys. If you have a beta male that's

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very confident in who he is,
those are the guys that will work well

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with an alpha female because they're not
trying to change her. They're okay with

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who they are. They know who
she is, and they work it accordingly.

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You know what I mean. M
I got that entirely. Now.

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Another thing that I want to talk
about really quick here, since this show

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is one that is listened to across
the globe. We have a lot of

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listeners of course in the United States. Here in Dallas and California on the

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East coast, but we also have
a fair number listeners in China, Japan,

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Malaysia, India. So I'm interested
if you have a take on if

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there are certain cultures that seem to
produce more alpha females than others. No,

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00:16:27.960 --> 00:16:32.399
it's it's totally I have not seen
anything, and I guess you'd have.

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We I would have to have like
a scientist or something to do more

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00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:38.960
with a larger sample of a population
than what I had. But in this

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when I say every one of them, there was a person here that gets

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talked about at the very beginning in
the first chapter that this person is from

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India and so and you know,
going against her culture and her brain was

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00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:55.559
a trail blazer. I mean,
it took the big risk. And so

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there's no ram or reason of any
culture or religion, regional difference that gene

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that makes them a true alpha.
Somehow it gets mutated, you know,

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through certain courses of certain generations over
time. And I'll be honest with you,

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there's not many of them in the
world. I would say you are

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00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:18.799
from probably five to seven percent.
Definitely less than ten percent of women are

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true what I call definitely born offening
alpha females. Wow, and on that

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00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:29.400
note, goodness, gracious that that's
pretty profound. Let's take our first break.

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00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:30.960
I'm Alice Cortester, her host.
We were on the air with CC

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00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:34.880
Lyons, who is an up and
coming author who addresses taboo topics that others

257
00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:40.039
dare not embark. She's the author
of Alpha Female Unleashed From the Boardroom to

258
00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:42.039
the Bedroom. She joins us today
from McKinney, Texas. We've been talking

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00:17:42.039 --> 00:17:45.039
a bit about what is an alpha
female, how does she come to be,

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00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:48.640
and how she shows up in the
world. After the break, we're

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00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:51.200
going to talk about how she shows
up in the workplace. Stay with us,

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00:17:51.200 --> 00:18:02.759
We'll be right back. Freend us
on Facebook to keep up with what's

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00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:10.160
empowering the world. Voice America Empowerment
Alis Cortes is a speaker and engagement and

264
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:15.319
development catalyst. She designs and delivers
professional development, leadership and engagement workshops and

265
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can bring her expertise to your organization. She will help ignite meaningful development within

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your workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance and retention. To learn more

267
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or to invite Elise to speak to
your organization, please visit her at www

268
00:18:30.119 --> 00:18:36.359
dot Elisecortes dot com. She would
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269
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The Voice America Talk Radio Network.
We're on the cutting edge of social

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media. Can you keep up?
Life can be confusing at times. There

277
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can be uncertainty, disappointment, and
an inability to clearly see where you're headed.

278
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But it doesn't have to be this
way at all. If you understand

279
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280
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281
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Voice America Empowerment. It's your world. Motivate, change, succeed Voice America

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Empowerment dot com. This is Working
on Purpose with Elise Cortes. To reach

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our program today, please call in
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one. You may also send an
email to Elise A. L i Se

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00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:30.480
at Elisecortes dot com. Now back
to Working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

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00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:33.839
with us, and welcome back to
Working on Purpose if you're just joining us.

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00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.440
My guest is cc Lyons. She
is an up and coming author who

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00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:41.279
addresses taboo topics that others they're not
embark on. She's the author of the

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00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:45.440
book called Alpha Female, Unleashed From
the Boardroom to the Bedroom. We've been

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00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:48.759
talking in the first part of the
show about really what she means by alpha

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females and this and the research she
did to understand them. In this segment,

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we want to get to how these
showpen in the workplace, but before

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00:20:55.079 --> 00:20:57.160
we do, we chatted over the
breaks. She and I a bit about

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00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:03.000
how an alpha female might relate to
what some of the more traditional or often

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00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:07.599
known personality types might say, and
so I was just wondering if she hadn't

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00:21:07.599 --> 00:21:10.200
thought about that. So let me
just let her your presence what you want

300
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:12.599
about that, and then I'm going
to respond with some ideas. You know,

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00:21:12.680 --> 00:21:17.079
It's funny when you talk to them, especially from a professional standpoint,

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00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:21.720
when they've taken the discmodels or or
you know, or the personality type tests,

303
00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:26.240
they always are the leader, the
director, the challengers. They follow

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00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:30.440
these categories to the point to where
you'll see them when you ask them those

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00:21:30.519 --> 00:21:33.880
questions, they'll kind of give you
the weird glance like, again, I

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00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:36.440
already know what I'm going to come
out, like, you know, been

307
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:41.640
there, done that. But that's
the main thing that you'll find the pattern

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00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:45.519
with them for sure. And again
they are the born leaders, they really

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00:21:45.559 --> 00:21:49.559
are because of that power status that
they have and that internal power status that

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they have. What I did find
to be even more interesting though, in

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doing the research and having these interviews
is amazing at how many times the stories

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00:21:59.880 --> 00:22:02.680
are the same. But they even
if the same, even gets down to

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the same colors, the things that
they like, the things that the cars

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they drive, it's all the same. It's all the same, and these

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guys know each other, so it's
well, let's hear about that to see

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that what are they? What cars
do they drive? What colors do they

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like? What you'll find most of
the time black, huh found, that's

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all they will buy. Every now
and then it'll be straight white, but

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black black, high end black sports
every time. Fascinating every time. Well,

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when when I was thinking about maybe
how an alphabema might correlate to some

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of the personal assessments that I'm aware
of, Certainly the disc very very high

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D, which is dominance and decisiveness. For the enneagram, which has nine

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types, there's one number eight called
the challenger that probably may fit her.

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And then certainly you and I know
strengths find her well, I mean,

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command is the least commonly assess talent
strength out there, talent theme out there,

326
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and I got to believe that correlates
to an alpha female and now ours

327
00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:11.319
Briggs mb T, I I just
I think probably just the TJ part of

328
00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:15.599
it is probably what would probably correlate. But any thoughts on those assessments or

329
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:18.839
do you know much about those assessments
or thought about them in relation to your

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00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:22.599
work? Sure? So you know
for you get the the director right the

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disciples definitely yea, so all they
have whole say from the strength finder.

332
00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:33.119
And it's funny you say command rarely
believe or not believe or not number one.

333
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:34.519
And I'll tell you just even from
my standpoint, commanded even show up

334
00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:40.799
on my top five. Wow,
they're number one. Strategically they're not.

335
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:42.839
And this is a big and this
is a big piece that I call out

336
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:47.119
in the book. And it's funny
because I've gotten more questions along that line.

337
00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:51.279
Is because when you see the command, command, insights, control,

338
00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:52.160
right, I got to give you
command, I got to control you.

339
00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:57.160
These women. The biggest thing about
the assistm part from everybody else where most

340
00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:03.400
people, and it's betting the augmented
alphas like more command or control. These

341
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:08.759
women like power. That's fascinating.
That is very interesting. So in other

342
00:24:08.920 --> 00:24:14.359
is what I hear from that CEC
is instead of commanding the presence and commanding

343
00:24:15.319 --> 00:24:18.960
over other people, they have a
presence like a mystique about them that pulls

344
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people to them. Is that fair
or no? Okay? Absolutely? They

345
00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:34.160
basically are they harness the control between
right, control and power controls the dominating

346
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:41.400
you know, uh, restraining,
constraining someone for them is having the ultimate

347
00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:47.400
power over that whole situation, the
environment themselves. So they can influence,

348
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flash, manipulate those situations, those
people. And so this goes back to

349
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corporate America. And I had this
conversation with colleagues all the time that love

350
00:24:56.039 --> 00:25:00.240
to flash their egos and think their
alpha and you know, boasted, and

351
00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:04.200
they were very wanting control all the
time. I can give you or give

352
00:25:04.200 --> 00:25:07.440
you the illusion of giving you control, and you really have no control.

353
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I can make you think you do, but in essence I have all the

354
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power their power players. Yes,
yes, yes, well okay, so

355
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let's talk about that next. Then. So you've come from corporate America yourself,

356
00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:22.319
and you've been studying these women.
So what are alpha femas particularly good

357
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:29.039
at in the workplace? Where do
they shine everything and everywhere? Okay,

358
00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:33.200
got that narrows it right down,
good everything everywhere. That's again one of

359
00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:36.400
the reasons why people love to hate
them. They look perfect, right,

360
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is there anything this woman cannot do? And so? And that becomes the

361
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question. They look like quote unquote
the superwomen and so, but they realize

362
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it's not about being a superwoman because
that's a farce, right, But they

363
00:25:48.759 --> 00:25:52.559
are a wonder woman because you're always
wondering how do they pull it off?

364
00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:56.400
How do they get this to happen? They get someone to move that no

365
00:25:56.400 --> 00:25:57.759
one else can get them to move, right. They'll take the suicide mission

366
00:25:57.759 --> 00:26:03.200
and come back like it was nothing. So that's the main thing for them

367
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:11.079
in corporate America. Now they are
usually and going to shine in I will

368
00:26:11.079 --> 00:26:19.279
say, high pressure situations and leadership
situations. Yeah, I'm not seeing them

369
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:26.799
sitting very well in a true follower
kind of role. No, they can

370
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:30.920
give to that role. In other
words, and this goes back to them

371
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:34.599
being the chameleon. So to be
a good leader sometimes you have to appear

372
00:26:34.599 --> 00:26:37.359
to be a good follower. Right, But that's also the power move.

373
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Okay, you know in other words, they even if they are a follower,

374
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they only follow for so long.
Right, But the question is are

375
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they really following you or all they
are they only leading from behind? The

376
00:26:52.119 --> 00:26:55.359
leading can come in many fashion and
forms, right, right. And so

377
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:57.240
when you say that, what it
gets to for me, CEC is that

378
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notion of just using their strategic way
way of thinking about things to like,

379
00:27:00.599 --> 00:27:03.960
Okay, I can do this for
so long if it gets to me ultimately

380
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:07.440
where I want to be in some
short period of time. I mean,

381
00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:10.599
I can't imagine them wanted to be
in that role for an extended period of

382
00:27:10.599 --> 00:27:12.880
time, but to use it strategically
to lead frog to the next place where

383
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:17.680
they can have more power or influence
or whatever it is that it's important to

384
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:22.039
them. I can see that.
Absolutely. They are continuously calculating. So

385
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:23.759
even when they take that role,
it's not about just taking that role.

386
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:29.039
They've already calculated the next two to
three roles down the line of what that's

387
00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:32.880
going to do for them. And
I preatyccaculate who are the players? And

388
00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:34.000
if they don't know who all the
players are, they're going to make sure

389
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:37.920
they find out to make sure they
position themselves in such a way that they're

390
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:41.119
going to take on either the you
know, that next role that they're looking

391
00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:48.640
for, And so they are consistently
calculating. They calculate. It doesn't but

392
00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:52.519
mostly this way, it doesn't turn
off even when they wanted to, it

393
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:57.640
doesn't. Guess what, I just
recognized that I think I have one of

394
00:27:57.640 --> 00:28:03.599
those Alpha Fema my household. She's
my daughter who's fifteen she has her strengths.

395
00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:07.720
She has strategic as her number one. She does have command, and

396
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:11.119
she does have deliberative. Isn't that
interesting? And she definitely has this presence.

397
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:17.359
CC she this girl, she has
got a strong presence and she's fifteen

398
00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:22.599
years old. I'll bet that's where
she's going. That's absolutely when. It's

399
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:25.799
interesting that you talk about it at
fifteen, because I started to see it

400
00:28:25.960 --> 00:28:29.039
when just taking notice of people.
And again, I love just watching people

401
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:33.200
because it's interesting to me of how
people will react in certain situations and what

402
00:28:33.240 --> 00:28:37.519
makes them pick. I've seen it
on as young as three four mm hm

403
00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:41.920
hm. And there's certain things that
you just can't teach a child at that

404
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:45.920
age, right, I seed it
on teenagers exactly. I've seen on teenagers

405
00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:48.759
because at the end of the day, and your daughter may exhibit the same

406
00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:52.640
thing. They're not loud. A
lot of people think and a lot of

407
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.880
people believe that apple females are the
ones that you know, I am a

408
00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:57.319
woman, hear me, roar look
at me. You know that's in a

409
00:28:57.319 --> 00:29:00.920
social setting that has to be seen. Actually, it's quite the opposite.

410
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:07.759
They're very low key, very stealthy. They move like a panther. That

411
00:29:07.799 --> 00:29:11.279
does describe her Ceci. She is
low key, she is quiet, and

412
00:29:11.319 --> 00:29:15.960
she is she's very very calculating,
she's very strategic. Absolutely, Okay,

413
00:29:17.319 --> 00:29:19.240
all right, well that helps me. It also helps gives me another level

414
00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:22.759
of access to understand her and work
with her. So that's great, Thank

415
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:27.279
you for that. You talked about
alpha females leading CC. Is there a

416
00:29:27.319 --> 00:29:30.319
certain way they tend to go about
leading. Is there where you can describe

417
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:36.559
their style or is it just like
everybody else more across the board. No,

418
00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:44.480
they pay attention more so they again
they're millions, they will morph right

419
00:29:44.519 --> 00:29:47.480
because they're paying attention to people.
And if you think about it, the

420
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:51.799
biggest thing between a leader and a
boss, right boss's command control leaders are

421
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:57.759
power players. They're influential and so
they get into people's heads, they really

422
00:29:57.799 --> 00:30:00.319
do, and so they're looking at
what makes people take but they also get

423
00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:03.640
people to believe. So when you
look at it through time, you have

424
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:07.640
to ask yourself, why are people
willing to follow them? Whether they actually

425
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.880
know what they're doing or not.
But they'll get people to believe it,

426
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:15.119
right because they have it inna confidence, right, they have an a confidence,

427
00:30:15.119 --> 00:30:19.240
they have their presence, and they
do it in a way that's calming

428
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:25.880
such that people will gravitate toward that. Mm hm. My daughter does that.

429
00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:29.039
She can You can ask you a
question and she can just come right

430
00:30:29.079 --> 00:30:30.960
back to you and tell you an
answer. And if I think about it

431
00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:33.559
for just a second, I can
recognize it's completely not right. But the

432
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:40.359
confidence with which she delivers it is
unbelievable. Absolutely, So for me,

433
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:42.279
I'll say this, this is gets
so funny. I used to get this

434
00:30:42.359 --> 00:30:47.279
question asked a lot of times on
the job, especially with the underground and

435
00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:49.279
undergrad and engineering, right, even
though I do all the business side stuff

436
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:52.119
now, I would have people all
the time say, well, know,

437
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:56.920
you're in a groom full of men
and all these engineers and they're going on

438
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.799
and these guys know all these things, but you know, and you don't

439
00:30:59.799 --> 00:31:02.160
see to be shaken. And I
said, well, have you actually listened

440
00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:06.279
to them. They may not know
any more than you know. They just

441
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:10.440
say it with a level of confidence
that get you to believe it. Mm

442
00:31:10.519 --> 00:31:15.039
hmm. Right, And so at
the same time you walk in with that

443
00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:18.480
same thing. So the alpha female, which goes indifferently than I will say,

444
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:22.759
you know, an average person.
I wouldn't say male versus female because

445
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:26.599
it's just the average person would walk
into the room, even if they didn't

446
00:31:26.599 --> 00:31:27.480
do what's hoigh, does they want
to even if it kind of the friends

447
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:30.359
that you're kind of bombed, they're
going to walk out and say, you

448
00:31:30.359 --> 00:31:32.960
didn't you know you liked that,
didn't you? Why didn't you? That

449
00:31:33.079 --> 00:31:36.759
was great? The way even you
have to stop and saying, you know,

450
00:31:36.799 --> 00:31:40.079
maybe it wasn't as bad as I
thought. So that's well, and

451
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:44.559
that's what they do well along those
lines, I'm interested. Now let's talk

452
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:47.480
about this from the vantage point of
the alpha female, not those that she

453
00:31:47.519 --> 00:31:51.359
interacts with. But where does an
alpha female encounter difficulty at work? Where

454
00:31:51.400 --> 00:32:00.920
does she get frustrated? She gets
frustrated when they're trying to constrain her.

455
00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:07.119
So when I talk about it in
the book, I use a turn for

456
00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:13.400
the lynch to be campaign, so
she knows and inherently she's not going out

457
00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:16.839
to intimidate anyone. She's not.
She's just being who she is. However,

458
00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:22.880
that presence does become intimidating for highly
insecure people. So if you have

459
00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:28.119
a room full of those, you
know that presence can get a little shaky

460
00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:30.480
because the first thing is, oh
my god, she's trying to take my

461
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:31.279
job, or oh my god,
you know, she's trying to show me

462
00:32:31.319 --> 00:32:37.000
up here. But it's just her
being herself. So the thing that happens

463
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:38.519
is, right, I'm gonna stop
this in the pics, in the bud,

464
00:32:38.559 --> 00:32:43.440
I'm gonna try to exonate her movements. So as she sees people trying

465
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:49.000
to xnate her strategy or her agenda
or her goals, that becomes a little

466
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.720
bit more frustrating. Now what she
will do being strategic, She's going to

467
00:32:52.759 --> 00:32:57.759
be recalculating every single time. Calculate, calculate, calculate, calculate, and

468
00:33:00.200 --> 00:33:01.640
when those come in and try to
burn her at the stake, because that's

469
00:33:01.640 --> 00:33:07.240
what's been going on for years.
Visit both literally and you know, as

470
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:10.279
objectively it goes on even now when
a burn at the steak is two things

471
00:33:10.319 --> 00:33:13.640
that happen. If you're gonna burn
and kill her, you gotta make sure.

472
00:33:13.640 --> 00:33:15.960
It's almost like you know the old
Highlander movie. You gotta chop off

473
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:16.920
her head. You gotta make sure
she's dead, because if not, she's

474
00:33:16.920 --> 00:33:20.519
going to come through the fire.
She's the phoenix she's gonna rose in the

475
00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:25.359
ashes that much stronger, and again
that gets more scary. A perfect example

476
00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:32.759
of this, perfect example love or
hater Hillary Clinton. M They've been trying

477
00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:36.680
to get her for years. Yeah, yeah, and where she is today.

478
00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:39.240
This woman had that plan formulated probably
when she was about eight to ten

479
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:45.440
years old. Bill didn't choose her. She chose Bill. She knew what

480
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:46.880
she was gonna make him into because
it was always on her agenda where she

481
00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:53.200
was going to go. I can
totally see that absolutely well. Now,

482
00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:55.440
so when you think about that,
that's and look, you know, certainly

483
00:33:55.519 --> 00:34:00.319
hillar Cilton, whateverever, wherever you
are, I happen to be as supporter

484
00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:05.119
of her. They think about what's
if you really target that, if you

485
00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:08.039
really unleash something like that, that
kind of power. I want to understand

486
00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:13.000
or help organizations understand how they can
elicit the best contribution of alpha females.

487
00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:16.960
What can they do to make sure
she can give her best. One is

488
00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:21.920
respecting who she is and what she's
bringing to the table. That's the main

489
00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:28.280
thing and attention, right, it's
not about making it a gender issue.

490
00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:31.440
It really isn't. So in other
words, it's that equal status and not

491
00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:36.480
let me take that back. So
I'm gonna take that back just a little

492
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:38.840
bit. It's giving her the equal
status that you would given alpha man.

493
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:46.280
Okay mm hmmm. And that's how
can they do that? Is so even

494
00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:52.320
trying to equate her call a beta
man is disrespectful to her because you know

495
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:54.000
she's better. Yeah, do you
know what I'm saying. Ye, So

496
00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:58.679
don't ever get her back. And
so that's where that goes. But in

497
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:02.320
corporate America, they are your top
players. And here's the interesting thing.

498
00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:07.400
This is what makes them even scarier. And this goes back and again.

499
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:10.039
I talk about this at the book
about people with power and how some of

500
00:35:10.039 --> 00:35:13.480
this she can get in her own
way with her own eels sometimes right,

501
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:22.079
But when you think about men and
men of power, they're calculating very little

502
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:24.519
drama, no drama. You know, they don't do that. They have

503
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:29.960
a commis about her. They move, maneuver. But men always, inherently

504
00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:35.119
will always their weakness side, We'll
think a little bit with their genitalian rights

505
00:35:35.119 --> 00:35:38.480
always number one thing. She has
all those same traits she's calculating. She

506
00:35:38.519 --> 00:35:44.400
can compartmentalize because she has emotions,
but she's not emotional, she's strategic.

507
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:49.800
The trick to her is she still
has the femininity side of it to have

508
00:35:49.800 --> 00:35:53.840
the woman's six sense and to understand
her sexuality where she knows how to use

509
00:35:53.920 --> 00:36:00.280
her genitalia. She has to,
but she doesn't get led with it way

510
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:04.159
to distinguish it. Yes, absolutely, and that's one because now it's harder

511
00:36:04.159 --> 00:36:09.239
to poke at a weakness. Boy, talk about you know, the silent

512
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:16.800
secret weapon in our organization seems to
me absolutely absolutely. Well, what about

513
00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:22.639
industries cecie. Is there are there
certain industries that seem to attract more alpha

514
00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:25.840
females or alpha females just feel more
at home in them. No, most

515
00:36:25.880 --> 00:36:30.880
of the time they will be in
predominantly male, hea heavily dominated fields.

516
00:36:30.679 --> 00:36:34.239
Mm hm I can totally say that, yes, yes, yes, so

517
00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:39.800
your lawyers and doctors, high tech
again, you know, engineers most of

518
00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:43.400
the time, that's where they will
play. And the reason why is because

519
00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:47.199
they won't gravitate toward a female dominie
the field. And I had to say,

520
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:50.039
this is it. Women, You
know, sometimes we're our own worst

521
00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:55.679
enemy. That it's too much drama. They don't do the drama. They

522
00:36:55.679 --> 00:36:58.840
don't do it. Now, men
have drama, don't get me wrong,

523
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:01.360
but they do it differently, and
that's what they gravitate towards more. Again,

524
00:37:01.400 --> 00:37:05.159
they're not emotional. They don't deal
with the emotions at all, so

525
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:07.440
they compartmentalize. Look, I got
this that this is whre I compartmentalized that

526
00:37:07.519 --> 00:37:09.920
deal with that later, so that
even though they have emotions, they're just

527
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:16.440
not emotional. I get the distinction. We work a lot as management consultants

528
00:37:16.679 --> 00:37:23.159
around emotional intelligence. Absolutely, so
I certainly see that if an alpha female

529
00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:27.840
has the ability to have access to
her emotions and knows when to call upon

530
00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:31.159
them and when to express them,
it certainly is quite intelligent. Absolutely,

531
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:36.400
And that's the thing keep in mind. And again kind of bringing this back

532
00:37:36.440 --> 00:37:38.199
to a Hillary and a little they
did because you know, just this recent

533
00:37:38.199 --> 00:37:43.559
being in alawn light is the first
thing people will say is she's cold,

534
00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:49.559
unfeeling. No, that's not true. The difference is is that society has

535
00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.840
always said a woman should be or
it's seminine to be emotional, and this

536
00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:55.480
is not, well, she's not
that. It doesn't mean she's cold,

537
00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:59.159
just means that that's not who she
is. She's on to the next thing.

538
00:37:59.239 --> 00:38:00.719
But again, you take that and
put that on a guy, and

539
00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:06.119
everybody says, oh, that's normal, that's okay, he's a guy.

540
00:38:06.599 --> 00:38:13.079
Well wait a minute, there's no
difference, right, or there shouldn't be

541
00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:16.280
anyway the difference, and with them
there isn't a difference. Again, this

542
00:38:16.440 --> 00:38:22.639
is something that was very interesting to
me because somewhere along the line, society

543
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:25.039
has adopted and it's a farce.
And it's been a bad farce because I

544
00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:28.639
started going back through and looking at
I'm saying, you know what, there's

545
00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:31.159
no biblical reference here of what a
woman should be crying and or a woman.

546
00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:36.239
This is what detects a woman's femininity, right, That has nothing to

547
00:38:36.280 --> 00:38:37.960
do with it. So somewhere along
the line, society has kind of through

548
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:40.360
the ages of kind of said okay, here's what a woman is, and

549
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:44.400
here's what she is. If you're
not June cleaver being not feminine, Well

550
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:47.639
she's definitely not June clever because most
of the time they wait to marry,

551
00:38:47.639 --> 00:38:51.480
if they ever get married, they
wait to have a kid. So maybe

552
00:38:51.519 --> 00:38:54.519
one that's it, ye, right, I got that. I got that

553
00:38:55.320 --> 00:38:58.320
hold that thought. Is time for
us to take a short little break.

554
00:38:58.360 --> 00:39:00.559
Sec I'm your host, at least
quartet. We're an air A cc Lyons,

555
00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:05.000
who is an up and coming author
who addresses taboo topics that others dare

556
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:08.280
not embark upon. She is the
author of Alpha Female Unleashed From the Boardroom

557
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:12.480
to the Bedroom. I encourage you
to pick up a copyright books. It's

558
00:39:12.519 --> 00:39:15.039
quite compelling, she writes in a
very direct way that really calls it like

559
00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:19.320
it is. I think there's some
awfully great insights in the book. She

560
00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:22.360
joined it today for McKenny Texas.
After the break, we're to talk more

561
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.039
about alpha females in relationship, in
community. Stay with us, we'll be

562
00:39:25.119 --> 00:39:39.199
right back. Friend us on Facebook
to keep up with what's empowering the world.

563
00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:46.239
Voice America Empowerment Certainly. Alice Cortez
is a speaker and engagement and development

564
00:39:46.280 --> 00:39:52.000
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional
development, leadership and engagement workshops and can

565
00:39:52.039 --> 00:39:57.880
bring her expertise to your organization.
She will help ignite meaningful development within your

566
00:39:57.920 --> 00:40:02.039
workforce that will increase employee age,
performance and retention. To learn more or

567
00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:07.840
to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at www dot

568
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:13.480
Elisecortes dot com. She would welcome
the opportunity to help get your employees working

569
00:40:13.599 --> 00:40:17.599
on purpose. We're making it easier
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570
00:40:17.639 --> 00:40:22.360
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575
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577
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579
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580
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Visit Starstyle Radio dot com. You
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581
00:41:32.519 --> 00:41:45.880
at Voice America Empowerment. This is
working on Purpose with Elise Cortes. To

582
00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:50.960
reach our program today, please call
in to one triple eight three four six

583
00:41:51.239 --> 00:41:55.199
nine one four one again that's one
triple eight three four six nine one four

584
00:41:55.280 --> 00:42:02.199
one. You may also send an
email to a lease AlSb at Oliscortes dot

585
00:42:02.239 --> 00:42:08.559
com. Now back to working on
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us,

586
00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:12.239
and welcome back to working on Purpose. If you're just tuning in, My

587
00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:15.440
guest is Cclyons. She is an
up and coming author who addresses taboo topics

588
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:20.800
that others dare not approach. She's
the author of the book called Alpha Female

589
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:23.119
Unleashed From the Boardroom to the Bedroom. I'm your host, Alis Cortes.

590
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:28.320
One thing that we were talking about
listeners while while CC and I were on

591
00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:32.000
break or was just we'd love to
invite your conversation around this topic of alpha

592
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:35.840
females. Are you an alpha female? What makes what makes you convinced that

593
00:42:35.880 --> 00:42:38.519
you are? Do you know one? What's it like to be around one?

594
00:42:39.079 --> 00:42:43.320
We really want you to join us, and so you'll notice that there'll

595
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:46.440
be some conversations here, but you
can find I'm at Las Cortes on Twitter.

596
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:52.880
I think you're CC lions five right
CC on Twitter? Okay, so

597
00:42:53.079 --> 00:42:57.360
find us on Facebook and just let
us know what you're getting from this conversation

598
00:42:57.480 --> 00:43:00.920
and what it's like to interact or
be an AWFU of female. We want

599
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:06.239
to open the conversation and create some
conversation around this, so invite your comments.

600
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:09.480
So for this next last segment here
cc, I want to take us

601
00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:13.599
from the workplace where we were in
the last segment and really make it put

602
00:43:13.599 --> 00:43:17.199
it on more of a personal level
here, so relationships and community. So

603
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:22.239
first, what's it like to date
an alpha female? What's it like for

604
00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:25.400
someone to date her? I would
say most people will probably say it's high

605
00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:30.000
maintenance. It's high and low bit
at the same time. And when I

606
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:36.239
say high maintenance, is they have
to understand from the guy's perspective, she's

607
00:43:36.239 --> 00:43:39.760
not going to chase you around.
She's not her roster's busy. And so

608
00:43:40.599 --> 00:43:44.760
you know, if it's a guy
that needs it nurturing and always worried about,

609
00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:47.079
you know, some person being under
them, you know twenty four to

610
00:43:47.159 --> 00:43:52.000
seven, that's not these women.
And so to even start the conversation,

611
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:55.239
to even approach them in a social
setting, to even ask them out or

612
00:43:55.280 --> 00:44:00.880
to offer them a drink at a
social setting is you can't come. You

613
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:05.000
can't come at her like you would
uh with the one liners, the regular

614
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:07.760
one liners. That's gonna get your
X and A. You need to pay

615
00:44:07.800 --> 00:44:14.960
attention to her because it's about her. What Okay, let's say I have

616
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:16.960
to prosist for whoever she's related,
whoever she's attached to. What about the

617
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:22.280
other person? What are they getting
for by being with her? So they're

618
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:30.880
getting what I would say, a
go get her a supporter. She's not

619
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:34.719
a nurse. She will nurture in
a different way. You're getting a business

620
00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:39.960
woman. You're getting a I would
say, a very passionate, very extreme

621
00:44:40.480 --> 00:44:45.800
sexual partner, because they have how
libidos DESI as a man, if not

622
00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:47.880
higher, So you're getting that side
and you got to keep up with her

623
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:54.320
on that side as well. But
what they're getting is the top notch,

624
00:44:55.280 --> 00:45:00.639
a game woman. That's what they're
getting. So not for the faint of

625
00:45:00.679 --> 00:45:05.000
heart, for sure, definitely not
for the faint of heart. You know,

626
00:45:05.320 --> 00:45:07.320
this is the woman most Like I
said, most of these women are

627
00:45:07.400 --> 00:45:10.480
very accomplished. So they're on planes, you know they are. Their schedules

628
00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:14.519
are busy, their type, but
you know when they're together together, they

629
00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:17.519
love the best. Their only standard
is a standard of excellence, so which

630
00:45:17.559 --> 00:45:22.800
means that person has to want that
kind of excellence as well. You know,

631
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:24.280
they get treated like royalty. A
lot of times they may go into

632
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:30.920
a restaurant and they get this VIP
status without really being a VIP so to

633
00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:31.719
speak. You know, and people
are saying, well, why they get

634
00:45:31.719 --> 00:45:35.159
treated so well? Most time they
may know from the people, But a

635
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:37.079
lot of times it's the presence that
they bring. It's the presence that they

636
00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:43.000
bring, they'll automatically get that kind
of service. Mm hmm, what's your

637
00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:45.920
What you're presencing from acc is really
to be with an alpha female means you're

638
00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:50.119
going to live a pretty full life. You're You're, You're. It's the

639
00:45:50.199 --> 00:45:57.880
extraordinary life. It's not for the
common, unremarkable existence for sure. Absolutely.

640
00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:01.960
And here's where it becomes a little
bit interesting thing. These women just

641
00:46:02.039 --> 00:46:07.400
like the men's side, right,
they know their obviously, they know their

642
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:12.360
power. So when it comes to
dating, she can keep more than one

643
00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:15.599
gown and a roster. So if
a guy thinks that he's her only option,

644
00:46:15.800 --> 00:46:21.400
think again, he's not. So
when it comes to being very careful,

645
00:46:22.199 --> 00:46:23.960
monati Bee sometimes becomes a real big
issue for them to be honest with

646
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:30.159
you because they know they have options, and so you know, it's I

647
00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:32.239
think it's more work for the man
to make sure that if he wants to,

648
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:35.719
makes her exclusive. And that gets
talked about in the book as well,

649
00:46:36.239 --> 00:46:39.199
because when you start going down that
route, Alpha females just alpha's in

650
00:46:39.239 --> 00:46:46.440
general, the alpha personality and apphle
makeup demands loyalty. The first time you

651
00:46:46.480 --> 00:46:55.880
break that loyalty, you're done.
Mm hmmm. What about motherhood CEC Alpha

652
00:46:55.880 --> 00:47:00.000
females, how do they approach motherhood? When they do? You know,

653
00:47:00.360 --> 00:47:04.400
one, if they do, A
lot of them don't. Yeah, okay,

654
00:47:04.800 --> 00:47:07.360
a lot of them don't. But
even if but on the chance of

655
00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:10.519
if they do, most of the
time you find one, possibly two,

656
00:47:10.559 --> 00:47:15.920
But most of the time it's one, right, because they know inherently that

657
00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:19.400
that takes a lot of time right
out of their day. Now, they're

658
00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:22.039
not the June Cleveland mothers. They
may have a kid, and that kid

659
00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:25.039
they're gonna have an oh pair,
right because why their life still goes on.

660
00:47:25.079 --> 00:47:28.480
They still have a career. That
means they kids on a flight with

661
00:47:28.519 --> 00:47:31.760
them. Come on, we're getting
ready to go, right, So their

662
00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:37.320
life doesn't nessarly slow down or changes
because they have a child. And again,

663
00:47:37.360 --> 00:47:38.599
this kind of makes them appear to
be cold, but it's not being

664
00:47:38.599 --> 00:47:40.559
cold, it's just who they are. It doesn't mean they love the child

665
00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:45.039
any less, but there is a
certain expectation there, which is why so

666
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:50.800
many of them even wait late to
have kids and marry. Uh, if

667
00:47:50.840 --> 00:47:52.719
they decide to do it at all, because a lot of them choose not

668
00:47:52.760 --> 00:47:57.199
to do it at all. Mm
hmmm. I can immediately see that for

669
00:47:57.239 --> 00:48:00.639
sure, which is a bit okay
come from society, because the first thing

670
00:48:00.719 --> 00:48:04.119
society says, especially for a woman
at a certain age, if you don't

671
00:48:04.119 --> 00:48:07.760
have kids and you're not married,
what's wrong with you? M hmm right.

672
00:48:08.679 --> 00:48:12.880
I remember distinctly. I don't know
that I would class myself as an

673
00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:16.000
alpha female. Maybe I want to
be, but I didn't get married talk

674
00:48:16.039 --> 00:48:20.960
it was thirty five, and then
I wasn't sure I wanted to have children.

675
00:48:21.000 --> 00:48:23.159
And I remember when I was living
in Brazil much earlier, they were

676
00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:25.599
like, oh my gosh, what
if all women thought the way that you

677
00:48:25.679 --> 00:48:30.639
did. I did ultimately have one
child because my then husband wanted to have

678
00:48:30.719 --> 00:48:35.719
children. But I can appreciate very
much what you're saying. Yes, absolutely,

679
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:37.840
one of the people I interviewed,
it's so funny love this person to

680
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:44.440
death. This person got married at
age sixty for the first time. Absolutely,

681
00:48:44.519 --> 00:48:46.440
and at this point in their lives, it's kind of this point of

682
00:48:46.559 --> 00:48:50.840
I've done all I needed to do, I've created successes, right, Okay,

683
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:53.880
now I'm good with that. Now
I can do that because now that

684
00:48:54.159 --> 00:48:57.559
it's just not always on the front
burner for them. It doesn't mean that

685
00:48:57.559 --> 00:49:00.880
they don't like relationships. It doesn't
mean they don't want the companionship. That's

686
00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:04.400
not something they dwell on it.
So when they look at men, whereas

687
00:49:04.440 --> 00:49:07.960
I will say again most women are
accosted with they look at men and say,

688
00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:12.280
oh, automatically, is he marriage
material? She's looking at it like,

689
00:49:12.360 --> 00:49:14.559
okay, we're good for the hearing. Now this is great, we're

690
00:49:14.599 --> 00:49:16.360
having fun. Right, let's jet
said, let's go here, let's go

691
00:49:16.519 --> 00:49:21.320
there. You know again, I
don't need to get to he mostly tied

692
00:49:21.400 --> 00:49:27.880
up, right. Is that strategic
to me? Absolutely? Absolutely, because

693
00:49:27.880 --> 00:49:30.000
they realize that it does take a
week. Now if that guy, I'll

694
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.599
say this, a true alpha male
is the one. And this became a

695
00:49:34.639 --> 00:49:37.760
big question with men, especially minority
men. Was the number one question was

696
00:49:38.519 --> 00:49:45.719
can they be submissive? If submissive
means bowing, which usually it shouldn't mean

697
00:49:45.719 --> 00:49:51.280
that I tell them forget it.
Submissive usually means more of allowing themselves to

698
00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:53.920
be vulnerable. Yes they can,
and the one they'll do it with,

699
00:49:54.159 --> 00:49:58.159
the one they'll give on a little
bit. Is that true alpha male because

700
00:49:58.159 --> 00:50:04.360
they know he can handle it.
M beautiful. Well, we're getting close

701
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:06.159
to the end of the show already, Cec. I want to get two

702
00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:07.760
more things out of you real quick, for sure. How does an alpha

703
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:12.639
female show up in the community?
Does she is she a community service person?

704
00:50:12.679 --> 00:50:15.440
Does she like to lead in community
circles? What does she do?

705
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:19.440
Oh? Absolutely, she's the person
that's probably going to be president of either

706
00:50:19.639 --> 00:50:21.440
the you know, if she has
a kid, she's probably president of the

707
00:50:21.440 --> 00:50:24.920
PPA, or she you know she's
or she's definitely president of one of the

708
00:50:25.039 --> 00:50:31.679
organizations that services the community. So
these women make their presence known both corporate

709
00:50:31.800 --> 00:50:37.239
and socially. Right, she may
be the head of a nonprofit or she

710
00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:39.000
may sit in and being a big
advisor for the nonprofit. So they do

711
00:50:39.039 --> 00:50:44.199
show up for the community. They're
the trail blazers. They're not always ra

712
00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:46.880
while women's live, but they do
fight for the justice of women, right,

713
00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:52.119
yep. But again they're the game
changers. They're the ones a lot

714
00:50:52.159 --> 00:50:55.679
of times that you'll find that will
be the trailblazers that will either help set

715
00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:59.880
new law, set new presidents,
or be a driving force in changing at

716
00:50:59.880 --> 00:51:05.760
the because they are the unconventional so
societal norms. Mm hmm mm hm.

717
00:51:06.280 --> 00:51:08.519
That makes makes me think they're an
eight for the enneagram the challenger. I

718
00:51:08.519 --> 00:51:13.760
can see that, and that's the
number I use as the authentic alpha female

719
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:16.119
in the book. I did notice
that I thought that was quite interesting,

720
00:51:16.599 --> 00:51:21.920
quite interesting. Well, you've written
this gorgeous book, ccee. What what

721
00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:27.559
do you hope men and women will
get from the book? From the women's

722
00:51:27.559 --> 00:51:30.880
side of it? One, you
know, I wrote it for since that

723
00:51:30.039 --> 00:51:32.719
parents would be able to recognize,
Hey, if I have I bought,

724
00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:36.239
thought i'd brought home this little girl
sugar and spice and everything nice. Well

725
00:51:36.320 --> 00:51:39.440
wait a minute, not quite be
okay with it. Don't shun it,

726
00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:43.519
don't discourage it. Right, she
is who she is. Don't be freaked

727
00:51:43.519 --> 00:51:45.760
out by it. For the women
and the young ones that's coming into their

728
00:51:45.800 --> 00:51:49.920
own understanding, this is who you
are, and here's kind of how you

729
00:51:49.960 --> 00:51:52.760
handle some things as you're going through
life. For the women that aren't,

730
00:51:52.800 --> 00:51:57.440
it's saying it's okay because women inherently
are strength. You have babies, right,

731
00:51:57.519 --> 00:51:59.880
you're strong anyway, but if it
doesn't mean you have to be altful,

732
00:51:59.880 --> 00:52:04.079
but be okay with who you are. For the men's side is understanding

733
00:52:04.119 --> 00:52:10.400
how to embrace them and how to
respect them and how you again date them

734
00:52:10.440 --> 00:52:15.880
and be in relationships with them and
honor them even in corporate America. So

735
00:52:15.079 --> 00:52:17.760
all that's there in the bigger part
for all, for every one, for

736
00:52:17.800 --> 00:52:23.119
the masses is the ending chapter ends
with them and dispelling the dark side,

737
00:52:23.119 --> 00:52:30.519
the stuff that people don't see because
their successes are ten x one hundred x.

738
00:52:30.559 --> 00:52:32.719
They're running a one hundred x.
But when they crash and they have

739
00:52:32.840 --> 00:52:37.320
the loads, their lows are big
as well, and people don't see that.

740
00:52:37.039 --> 00:52:43.559
So they're not perfect, but they
are extit got that, okay.

741
00:52:43.920 --> 00:52:45.400
Coming to the end here, Cec, I would like to give my guests

742
00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:50.599
the last word here, so in
about a minute or less. Since the

743
00:52:50.639 --> 00:52:52.920
show is all helping the listeners more
meaningfully and productively connect with their work,

744
00:52:52.920 --> 00:52:57.639
and we're talking about Alpa females,
what would you like to leave our listeners

745
00:52:57.639 --> 00:53:00.840
with today. I would like for
them to say, even if you aren't

746
00:53:00.920 --> 00:53:06.440
quote unquote alpha female, read the
book and you find yourself having some of

747
00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:09.800
these qualities, it's okay to unleash
it alpha within, which may be the

748
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:14.320
next book, by the way,
but it's okay to use those qualities both

749
00:53:14.920 --> 00:53:17.880
having a seat at the table,
managing it to be able to lead and

750
00:53:19.079 --> 00:53:22.199
influence the situation, and don't be
afraid of it. Don't be afraid of

751
00:53:22.199 --> 00:53:25.159
what other people are going to think, because those are the things that's going

752
00:53:25.239 --> 00:53:29.360
to hold you back. And that's
what distinguishes her from the rest, which

753
00:53:29.360 --> 00:53:31.480
is why she gets to the point
to what she gets through because she really

754
00:53:31.519 --> 00:53:35.840
doesn't care. She's going to do
what she needs to do regardless. So

755
00:53:36.079 --> 00:53:39.599
be okay with that and own own
your power. Mm hmmm. That is

756
00:53:39.639 --> 00:53:44.320
a great way to finish the show. CC and our listeners know that if

757
00:53:44.320 --> 00:53:46.880
they've heard in any show us at
all, that I'm all about empowering people

758
00:53:46.920 --> 00:53:51.199
to be their best, to live
on passion, work with purpose, work

759
00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:53.840
on purpose, and really show up
and be bring who they are. So

760
00:53:53.880 --> 00:53:57.760
that is a great way to finish
the show. Thank you so much for

761
00:53:57.840 --> 00:54:00.480
joining me today. This has been
a fascinating conversation. Thank you, thank

762
00:54:00.519 --> 00:54:04.559
you, and thank you for having
me. I really enjoyed it. You're

763
00:54:04.599 --> 00:54:07.000
welcome the listeners. If you want
to learn more about Cclyons or her book,

764
00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:10.559
Alpha Female Unleashed from the Boardroom to
the Bedroom and she gave you some

765
00:54:10.599 --> 00:54:14.559
sort of interesting some tips in there
about the dark side that you might want

766
00:54:14.559 --> 00:54:17.760
to also check out. Go to
her website. It's cclions dot com.

767
00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:24.440
Let me spell that for you.
C c Lyons dot com. Next week

768
00:54:24.440 --> 00:54:27.719
we'll be on the air with doctor
Bob Nelson, who is an expert in

769
00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:30.800
the field but management and motivation.
We'll be talking about how to bring purpose

770
00:54:30.800 --> 00:54:35.760
and live among your employees and ways
to recognize them to motivate and fulfill them.

771
00:54:36.039 --> 00:54:37.400
See you then, remember that workers
at least once through of our life.

772
00:54:37.440 --> 00:54:46.960
So let's work on Purpose. We
hope you've enjoyed this week's program.

773
00:54:47.119 --> 00:54:52.360
Be sure to tune into Working on
Purpose featuring your host Elis Cortes every Wednesday

774
00:54:52.360 --> 00:54:58.320
at six pm Eastern Time three pm
Pacific time on the Voice America Empowerment Channel.

775
00:54:58.679 --> 00:55:00.400
This week, find your life purpose
at work