Alpha Females Living with Passion, Working on Purpose

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host Elise Cortez. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration from those
people who have found deeper meaning and

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personal connection to their work life.
It's beyond nine to five. It's working

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on Purpose. Now Here is your
host, Elise Cortez. Welcome back to

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the Working on Purpose Show. Thanks
for tuning in again this week. I'm

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your host, Elise Cortez, joining
you from Dallas, Texas, which is

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home based for me. This program
is all about helping people more meaningfully and

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productively connect with their work and equipping
organizations to do the same for their employees.

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I bring on guests with a particular
perspective or experience that I think expands

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the conversation, and I often draw
on the meaning of work research I've been

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doing over the last fifteen years,
as well as my own experience consulting,

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including the work I do today at
Insignium, which is a global menage a

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consulting firm. I will get to
the program in just a moment, but

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let me thank my media partner and
sponsor jobbing dot Com. Jobbing dot com

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is the leading locally focused jobboard in
the nation, and they are dedicated to

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helping employers find quality talent in their
own backyard while giving job seekers control over

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their search so I can find work
close to home. Great partnership. Thank

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you jobbing dot Com. Last week, if you missed the show live,

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you can always catch it via recorded
podcast. We were on the air with

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Ed Christmas of solog Solutions and we
talked about how driverless cars and smart cities

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will change the way we live and
work. When we talked about how their

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generations in the workplace will need to
work even more closely in that new world,

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really really interesting conversation with us this
week is sec Lyons, who is

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an up and coming author that addresses
taboo topics that others dare not embark She's

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the author of Alpha Female Unleashed From
the Boardroom to the Bedroom. We'll be

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talking about what she means by the
alpha female, which is the subject of

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her book, how alpha females can
uniquely contribute in the workplace and how they

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show up in relationships and communities.
CC joined today from McKinney Texas CC.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose. Thank
you so much, pleasure to be here.

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Yeah, I'm looking forward to the
show. As I mentioned to you

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before we got on the air,
it just so happened. I was having

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a few conversations with people about,
you know, strong women showing up and

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what was happening in the workplace with
regards to how things were changing up and

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such, and so I think we're
going to get some pretty strong interest on

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this episode, So stand by for
that. It'll be fun. Right,

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hang on to your heads, do
you like to say? Right? Yes?

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Okay, Well, so to get
us started here. Anybody, anybody

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that knows me and I've been listening
to the show, knows that I am

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a social scientist. I like studying
people. I'm very interested in how society

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is changing in the way that the
genders seem to be reorganizing themselves when you

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think about the fact, I'm also
a university professor here at SMU. More

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women are going to college than men
these days and getting getting degrees. And

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you know, the recent news is
there are now programs in place and organized

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tions to assist male counterparts of a
woman who's relocating for their job when they

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get a promotion, or it requires
a move. It's just fascinating some of

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the changes. And here you have, You've written a book about alpha females.

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So let me first start by asking, so our listeners really get this,

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what do you mean by alpha females? What's that term mean? So

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you know, I swum it up
in the book in three words and their

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beauty, power, and soul,
And what I mean by that these are

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a specific type of women. They
are a subset of the female population,

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a very small and a very rare
subset. These are basically what people will

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consider alpha males in a female form, and so they may not be the

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prettiest woman in the room, but
they have that inner beauty to where they

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can command the room and they actually
take over the room without wanting to take

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over. They have that sense of
power to where they are heavily influential people

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and can have that power over the
boardroom, over the bedroom in society,

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and are the risk takers, the
trailblazers. These are also the women that

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have the purpose in their soul,
which is what makes them different because they're

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driven by a soul for purpose,
and that's the big difference between them and

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what I call the Redwar female population. If that makes sense. Yeah,

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it does. And you gave me
goosebumps when you were talking about that.

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That is just great. Okay.
So my next question then, is you've

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written a book about this. You're
clearly passionate about themselves about this topic yourself,

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and you're probably, i'm going to
guess, an alpha female yourself.

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I want to understand where you got
the interest in alpha females and enough to

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be able to actually produce this book
the interest started, so you know,

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it's funny. I think I've probably
missed my calling. My undergrad is actually

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engineering kind of a business degree from
you, so right, which would not

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most engineers, of course, don't
pa attention to people. It was actually

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starting to notice people women, and
I started noticing a pattern on certain types

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of women, whether that were mentees, especially mentors that were older than me,

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and I started noticing some of the
same patterns the way they moved.

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Why all of a sudden you would
pick up on this particular type of woman

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washing to walk into a bull room
and say certain things and no other woman

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could. Why she had at certain
presence about her, whether the other ones

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didn't. And then kind of took
a look at myself and said, okay,

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what is this factor that I'm seeing
the same pattern. And it didn't

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matter what nationality she was or anything
like that, even the age didn't matter.

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You just picked up on it.
And so, having or having a

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conversation with a colleague of mine at
the time, said, you know,

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yeah, thinking this is you know, app for females, and so I

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said, you know, there has
to be something to it. So I

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put the scientific hat on and said, you know, I want to know

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more whether it's a out me,
but more or less about the subject matter

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in them as a species. And
so I went around the country a couple

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of years ago literally interviewing men and
women on the subject matter from every race,

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creed, color, religion, age
group, social status, you name

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it. And the feedback of the
stounding and those are the stories of Cluse

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on my own that have gone into
the book. So it's all real stories.

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M This is just you know,
as you as you talk, Cec,

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I can certainly present several women that
come to my mind that I've come

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across too, who would I think
fit the alpha female description. And to

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that end, one of the things
that you you talk about in your book,

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which I think is fascinating as you
have. I think it's a whole

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chapter that you you talk about how
alpha females are born, not made,

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and not to me means that that's
the that's their innate way of being,

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that's the way they came. Is
that what you mean? Absolutely? So

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it became one of the top questions
I would get all the time, and

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even one of the top questions or
was presented during the course of interviews was

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the nature over nurture type scenario.
Right are they really born? Are they

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made this way? And it was
very interesting and interviewing close to you,

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I would say officially on record recordings
close to seventy with the unofficial people close

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to a hundred people, it was
interesting that people really knew. When they

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would tell their stories. You would
hear those women say, look, I've

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been this way all my life.
I came this way. This is how

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they tried to break me. But
I always realized I was different, and

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I didn't understand why versus those what
I call a minute that has that same

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kind of exterior, but they aren't
hard wired that way. And they'll tell

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you and say, you know,
I really kind of wasn't this way,

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but this is what happened in my
life, or this is why I seemed

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that happened to my parents, or
my parents pushed me this way. So

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there's definitely a shift in those are
really born that way. Those that are

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born are hard wired from the day
they arrived to the world to the day

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they leave the world. Do you
think that's fascinating? Do you think to

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that end at all? CC can
can the environment somewhat shape women so that

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they head or being an alpha female? And then I'm gonna ask another question

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to follow that up. Do you
think that there's any nurturing that can help

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develop someone into an alpha female?
Sure, but I would say be careful.

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That's what I call the augmented And
there is a difference. And the

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reason why I say there's a difference
is because very literally not hardwired, which

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in some ways is a plus side
for them because they're little bit more flexible

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in their beliefs. The trick is
that they may be kind of on the

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cuffs. And in the book,
I use the number eight to kind of

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give a reference, which I didn't
realize at the time that eight actually represents

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everything that alpha female is, right, but the litterally the number eight,

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And so it goes back to you
could be born an eight that's a true

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alpha, or you could be born
a six or seven, right, and

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something happens where you become more alpha, or something can happen in different everction

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they get you to become more beata. That's the difference. So even though

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they weren't born that way, there's
something that nurtures them, but either their

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parents push them or they get in
a certain situation that they've taken on kind

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of that persona. Now what gets
very interesting is is when you get them

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in high pressure situations or a real
alpha, true born alpha, shows up.

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That's when you can start to detect
the difference between the two because one's

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gonna get a little bit more skittish
and more insecure, where the true alpha,

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that's the other thing that separates her
out. He's not insecure by nature

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at all. That was one of
the questions I wanted to ask you,

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is just thinking about how do alpha
females gener relate to non alpha females.

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What does that look like that it
sounds like they don't shirk. They maybe

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they even rise further to the occasion, but what's that interaction look like.

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So alpha females are ones that can
are call them kind of chameleons because they

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can morph right and they can adjust
to being able to work with really just

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about anyone, and so they work
well together. And this gets called out

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in the Book of the Queen Bee. Can there be only one? Right,

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because especially in corporate America, Corporate
America has always made such that there's

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only one woman at the top,
right. There can't be a bunch of

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women. You have to be very
careful. And it's even tighter from a

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minority woman standpoint. Right, Then
there's always that feeling like there's only be

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only one. When you get in
that situation, you will see where quote

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unquote they're pitting to alpha's against each
other. But the trick is if one

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falters, and when I say one
falters, it's the flipping scenario. They

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become insecure and going a strict self
preservation mode. That's not the true alpha.

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If you have two true alpha females, you can't pit them against one

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another. What they will do is
going to collusion. And now you have

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a bigger problem on your hands.
Say more about that, a bigger problem.

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What do you mean by that a
bigger problem. So you're talking about

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here's here's the belief or from what
I found in writing this book of what

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makes them people and I'll say society
a little bit more fearful about them,

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which makes people little skittish, especially
from a guys standpoint as that. Think

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about it. If you take an
alpha man, right that can compartmentalize and

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he's a strategist and he moves and
he's calculating. But you take that same

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scenario and put it on a woman, so she has all those same strings

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and none of the weaknesses. That's
a scary thing. So now you have

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these two women together that you try
to pit against each other, and now

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they go into collusion because there's a
mutual respect there. And now it's saying,

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look, I'm going to honor who
you are. But what they'll do

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is help each other out. And
now because they're always calculating, it's now

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the people that were trying to pit
them against each other, they're gonna take

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them out. They're going to be
the bigger power players. That's why I

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say would watch out because people,
I've watched that mistake happen many times before.

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You know, I want to hear
about how how these alpha females generally

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relate to men as well. And
I want to just you know, speak

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I think is in the next segment. I want to talk about their workplace

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specifically. But how do men oftentimes
react to alpha females. So it really

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depends on the type of man.
Here's what's interesting about this. Miss has

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come out a lot in the interviews
and in the books. These women they

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will attract heavily beta men. The
beta man may will draw men like nobody's

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business, right, And the reason
is is because again they have that alphism

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about them. So men in general
right love that. It's the strength side

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and it's the confidence side. You
can't shake them. They're accomplished majority design,

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they're accomplished, and so they have
their own to do their own thing.

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And they're not drama field as what
quote unquote society believes the estrogen sex

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is right, no drama, So
men love that. Now the trick is

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that beta male what he loves,
he also comes to disdain because you try

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to harness that, but you're not
going to change being who she is.

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So when they date her, all
of a sudden, they don't want her

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commanding the room. They don't want
these other guys chasing after her, and

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now it becomes a real issue.
You know what you're making me think of?

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Sorry, go ahead, go ahead, Now you say, Well,

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the other side of that is,
now, if you have a true alpha

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male, that's the one person I
think that and our true belief that can

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actually will honor her right because he's
competent within himself, he's doing his own

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thing, he knows who she is. And the weird part that comes about

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that is it's almost a uh,
you know, unstoppable force meets the immovable

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object. You've got that weird push
pull. Definitely sexual tension because they're competitive,

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but they're competitive in a good way. And now it's almost how do

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you date yourself? Yeah? Now
I'm also well getting present too that I

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find just now you're to really kind
of bring this to my consciousness when I

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talk about how how society is changing, right, so we see more and

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more women being the bread winners of
their households. We see more and more

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men who are opting to stay at
home to take care of the kids.

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While they're there, their their counterpart
female earns that the money. And when

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I think about some of those relationships. C see they start to head towards

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what you're talking about. I don't
know if all these one would be alpha

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females as you describe them, but
it seems like, you know, they're

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starting to resemble that. So we
start to see a bit of a traditional

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role reversal happening in society. Do
you see that or what's your take on

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that? Well, you definitely see
where women are definitely making those strides right,

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where women are becoming more in positions
of authority, in higher positions in

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the workplace, which is a good
thing. Right they're getting We're hopefully we're

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starting to get that just due.
But I want to be clear, and

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this is again something I reference in
the book, is that this is a

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00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:52.480
big, I guess misconception on both
on both genders. Just because you have

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a woman in a position of authority
or a woman in a certain executive position

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does not make her alpha. I
got that. I understand that. Yeah,

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a lot of times they're very insecure
and so and they're always looking over

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their shoulder, so that becomes a
very different thing now women in general,

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and this gets talked about in the
book as well. I want women to

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understand if you're not alpha, it's
okay, be okay with who you are.

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This book was done because the word
the alpha female has been so one

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has either been used kind of trendy
to say, you know, boss check

225
00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:31.360
or whatever, or it's been shown
up in media and stuff so negatively and

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people and they get accosted with some
things that they never were. So it's

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00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:37.799
the fake ones they go out of
there and try to claim it that aren't

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even it. It's given it a
bad name. So it was time to

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set the record straight. So as
you see now in society where you have

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a lot of guys staying at home, which I commend the guys again,

231
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those are smart guys. If you
have a beta male that's very confident who

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he is, those are the guys
that work will work well with an alpha

233
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:58.960
female because they're not trying to change
her. They're okay with who they are.

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They know who she is, and
they work it accordingly. Do you

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know what I mean? I got
that entirely. Now. Another thing that

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I want to talk about really quick
here, since this show is one that

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is listened to across the globe,
we have a lot of listeners of course

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in the United States. Here in
Dallas, in California on the East coast,

239
00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:18.960
but we also have a fair num
listeners in China, Japan, Malaysia,

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India. So I'm interested if you
have a take on if there are

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00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:27.159
certain cultures that seem to produce more
alpha females than others. No, no,

242
00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:32.399
it's it's totally I have not seen
anything, and I guess you'd have.

243
00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:33.639
We would. I would have to
have like a scientist or something to

244
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do more with a larger sample of
a population than what I had. But

245
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in this when I say every one
of them, there was a person here

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00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:47.159
that gets talked about at the very
beginning in the first chapter that this person

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is from India and so and you
know, going against her culture and her

248
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brain was a trailblazer, I mean, took the big risk. And so

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there's no rhymal reason of any culture
or religion, regional difference that gene that

250
00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:07.039
makes them a true alpha. Somehow
it gets mutated, you know, through

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certain courses of certain generations over time. And I'll be honest with you,

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there's not many of them in the
world. I would say you were from

253
00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:19.200
probably five to seven percent definite,
less than ten percent of women are true

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00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:26.200
what I call definitely born are sinning
alpha females. Wow, And on that

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00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:29.359
note, goodness gracious, that's that's
pretty profound. Let's take our first break.

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00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:32.440
I'm Elise Cortester host. We were
on the air with CC Lyons,

257
00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:36.119
who is an up and coming author
that who addresses taboo topics at others dare

258
00:17:36.119 --> 00:17:40.119
not embark. She's the author of
Alpha Female Unleashed From the Boardroom to the

259
00:17:40.119 --> 00:17:42.119
Bedroom. She joins her today from
McKinney, Texas. We've been talking a

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00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:45.400
bit about what is alpha female,
how does she come to be, and

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00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:48.960
how she shows up in the world. After the break, we're gonna talk

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00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:51.440
about how she shows up in the
workplace. Stay with us, we'll be

263
00:17:51.519 --> 00:18:03.720
right back. Friend us on Facebook
to keep up with what's empowering the world.

264
00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:10.720
Voice America Empowerment So. Elise Cortez
is a speaker and engagement and development

265
00:18:10.759 --> 00:18:15.480
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional
development, leadership and engagement workshops and can

266
00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:21.359
bring her expertise to your organization.
She will help ignite meaningful development within your

267
00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:26.559
workforce that will increase employee engagement,
performance and retention. To learn more or

268
00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:30.400
to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, Please visit her at www dot

269
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:36.319
Elise Cortez dot com. She would
welcome the opportunity to help get your employees

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271
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277
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of social media. Can you keep
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278
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There can be uncertainty, disappointment,
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279
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280
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281
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282
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283
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284
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285
00:19:52.160 --> 00:20:07.240
Voice America Empowerment dot com. This
is Working on Purpose with Elise Cortez.

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00:20:07.720 --> 00:20:11.519
To reach our program today, please
call in to one triple eight three four

287
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288
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one four one. You may also
send an email to Elise ali se at

289
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:30.440
Elise Cortez dot com. Now back
to Working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

290
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:33.839
with us, and welcome back to
Working on Purpose if you're just joining us.

291
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.440
My guest is cc lines. She
is an up and coming author who

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00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:41.240
addresses taboo topics at others dare not
embark on. She's the author of the

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00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:45.759
book called Alpha Female Unleashed From the
Boardroom to the Bedroom. We've been talking

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00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:48.119
in the first part of the show
about really what she means by alpha females

295
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.680
and the research she did to understand
them. In this segment, we want

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to get to how they show up
in the workplace, but before we do,

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00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:59.160
we chatted over the break. She
and I bit about how an alpha

298
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female might relate to what some of
the more traditional or often known personality types

299
00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:07.079
might say, and so I was
just wondering if she hadn't thought about that.

300
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.559
So let me just let her presence
what you want about that, and

301
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:14.359
then I'm gonna respond with some ideas. You know, It's funny when you

302
00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:18.359
talk to them, especially from a
professional standpoint, when they've taken the disc

303
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:22.640
models or you know, or the
personality type tests, they always are the

304
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:27.079
leader, the director, the challenger. They follow these categories to the point

305
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:30.440
to where you will see them when
you ask them those questions, they'll kind

306
00:21:30.440 --> 00:21:33.559
of give you the weird glance like, again, I already know what I'm

307
00:21:33.559 --> 00:21:37.079
going to come out, like,
you know, been there, done that.

308
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:42.400
But that's the main thing that you'll
find the pattern with them for sure.

309
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:47.680
And again they are the born leaders, they really are because of that

310
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:51.920
power status that they have and that
internal power status that they have. What

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00:21:52.039 --> 00:21:55.680
I did find to be even more
interesting though, in doing the research and

312
00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:00.440
having these interviews is amazing at how
many times the stories of the same.

313
00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:03.359
But even if even gets down to
the same color, the things that they

314
00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:07.480
like, the things that they the
cars they drive, it's all the same.

315
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:11.000
It's all the same and these guys
need to know each other. So

316
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:14.480
it's let's hear about that lifesting to
see that, Well, what are they?

317
00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:18.559
What cars do they drive? What
colors are they like? What you'll

318
00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:25.079
find most of the time black,
that's all they will buy. Every now

319
00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:29.759
and then it will be straight white, but black black, high end black

320
00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:34.880
sports every time. Fascinating every time. Well, when when I was thinking

321
00:22:34.920 --> 00:22:38.920
about maybe how an alpha FEMA might
correlate to some of the personal assessments that

322
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:42.319
I'm aware of, Certainly the disc
very very high D, which is dominance

323
00:22:42.359 --> 00:22:48.119
and decisiveness. For the indeogram,
which has nine types, there's one number

324
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:53.960
eight called the challenger that probably may
fit her. And then certainly you and

325
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.640
I know strengths find her well,
I mean, command is the least commonly

326
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:03.680
asset talent strength out there, talent
theme out there, and I gotta believe

327
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:08.720
that correlates to an alpha female And
now ours Briggs mb T, I I

328
00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:11.440
just I think probably just the TJ
part of it is probably what would probably

329
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:15.720
correlate. But any thoughts on those
assessments or do you know much about those

330
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:19.599
assessments or thought about them in relation
to your work? Sure? So you

331
00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:23.640
know for you get the d the
director, right, the the psychist.

332
00:23:23.960 --> 00:23:27.359
Definitely, yeah, so ill they
enough whole safe in the strength finding And

333
00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:33.079
it's funny you say command rarely believe
it or not believe not number one.

334
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:34.559
And I'll tell you just even from
my standpoint, command didn't even show up

335
00:23:34.559 --> 00:23:40.880
on my top five. Wow,
they're number one. Strategic they're not.

336
00:23:41.400 --> 00:23:42.720
And this is a big and this
is a big piece that I call out

337
00:23:42.839 --> 00:23:47.079
in the book. And it's funny
because I've gotten more questions along that line.

338
00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:51.279
Is because when you see the command, command, insights, control,

339
00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:53.000
right, I gotta give you command, I got to control you. These

340
00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:57.519
women the biggest thing about in a
sistem part from everybody else where most people.

341
00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:03.359
And it's good in the augmented alpha's
like more command or control. These

342
00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:08.359
women like power, very good.
That's fascinating. That is very interesting.

343
00:24:08.359 --> 00:24:11.880
So in other words, what I
hear from that CC is instead of commanding

344
00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:18.039
the presence and commanding over other people, they have a presence, like a

345
00:24:18.119 --> 00:24:21.720
mystique about them that pulls people to
them. Is that fair or no?

346
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:32.640
Okay? Absolutely? They basically are
they harness the control the big between right

347
00:24:32.759 --> 00:24:37.519
control and power controls the dominating,
you know, restraining, constraining someone,

348
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:45.079
for them is having the ultimate power
over that whole situation, the environment themselves.

349
00:24:45.079 --> 00:24:51.240
So they can influence, flash,
manipulate those situations, those people.

350
00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:53.559
And so this goes back to the
corporate American And I've had this conversation with

351
00:24:53.640 --> 00:24:59.680
colleagues all the time that love to
flash their egos and think their alpha and

352
00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:03.160
boast it. And they were very
wanting control all the time. I can

353
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:06.680
give you, or give you the
illusion of giving you control, and you've

354
00:25:06.680 --> 00:25:07.640
really have no control. I can
make you think you do, but in

355
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:12.279
essence I have all the power their
power player. Yes, yes, yes,

356
00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:15.880
well okay, so let's talk about
that next. Then. So you've

357
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:19.759
come from corporate America yourself, and
you've been studying these women. So what

358
00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:22.960
are alpha fe most particularly good at
in the workplace? Where do they shine?

359
00:25:23.960 --> 00:25:30.400
Everything? And everywhere? Okay,
get that narrows it right down,

360
00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:33.359
good every day everywhere. That's again
one of the reasons why people love to

361
00:25:33.400 --> 00:25:37.000
hate them. They look perfect,
right, is there anything this woman cannot

362
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:42.519
do? And so? And that
becomes the question. They look like quote

363
00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:48.240
unquote the superwomen and so, but
they realize it's not about being a superwoman,

364
00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:49.960
because that's a farce, right,
But they are wonder woman because you're

365
00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:53.359
always wondering how do they pull it
off? How do they get this to

366
00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:56.240
happen? They get someone to move
that no one else can gets in the

367
00:25:56.279 --> 00:26:00.440
move, right, They'll take the
suicide mission and come back like it was

368
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:06.480
nothing. So that's the main thing
for them in corporate America. Now they

369
00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:12.799
are usually and going to shine in
i will say, high pressure situations and

370
00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:22.240
leadership situations. Yeah, I'm not
seeing them sitting very well in a true

371
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:27.240
follower kind of role. No,
they can give to that role in other

372
00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:33.279
words, and this goes back to
them being the chameleon. So to be

373
00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:36.799
a good leader sometimes you have to
appear to be a good follower, right,

374
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:42.359
But that's also the power move.
Okay, that's fascinating, you know.

375
00:26:42.599 --> 00:26:45.759
In other words, they even if
they are a follower, they only

376
00:26:45.799 --> 00:26:48.720
follow for so long, right,
But the question is are they really following

377
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:52.720
you or all they are they only
leading from behind? The leading can come

378
00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:56.000
in many fashion and forms, right, right. And so when you say

379
00:26:56.039 --> 00:26:59.119
that, what it gets to for
me CC is that notion of just using

380
00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:02.119
their strategic way of thinking about things
too, like, Okay, I can

381
00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:06.400
do this for so long because ultimately
where I want to be in some short

382
00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:07.799
period of time. I mean,
I can't imagine them wanted to be in

383
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:11.559
that role for an extended period of
time, but to use it strategically to

384
00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:15.440
lead frog to the next place where
they can have more power or influence or

385
00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:18.599
whatever it is that it's important to
them. I can see that. Absolutely.

386
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:22.759
They are continuously calculating. So even
when they take that role, it's

387
00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:26.079
not about to take in that role. They've already calculated the next two to

388
00:27:26.119 --> 00:27:30.880
three roles down the line of what
that's going to do for them. And

389
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.799
I calculated who are the players?
And if they don't know who all the

390
00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:36.559
players are, they're going to make
sure they find out to make sure they

391
00:27:36.599 --> 00:27:40.480
position themselves in such a way that
they're going to take on, you know,

392
00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:45.920
that next role that they're living for. And so they are consistently calculating.

393
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:51.359
They calculate. It doesn't bosh it
this way, It doesn't turn off

394
00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:56.559
even when they wanted to. It
doesn't. Guess what, I just recognize

395
00:27:56.599 --> 00:28:00.960
that I think I have one of
those Alpha Fema to my household. She's

396
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.160
my daughter who's fifteen, she has
if her strength, she has strategic as

397
00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:08.039
her number one. She does have
command, and she does have deliberative.

398
00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:12.559
Isn't that interesting? And she definitely
has this presence. CC she this girl,

399
00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:18.160
she has got a strong presence and
she's fifteen years old. I'll bet

400
00:28:18.279 --> 00:28:22.440
you that's where she's going. That's
actually when it's interesting that you talk about

401
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:26.000
it at fifteen, because I started
to see it when just taking notice of

402
00:28:26.039 --> 00:28:30.119
people. And again, I love
just watching people because it's interesting to me

403
00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:34.480
of how people will react in certain
situations and what makes them tick. I've

404
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:40.359
seen it on as young as three
four, and there's certain things that you

405
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:42.839
just can't teach a child at that
age, right, I seen it on

406
00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:47.000
teenagers exactly. I've seen on teenagers
because at the end of the day,

407
00:28:47.079 --> 00:28:51.480
and your daughter may exhibit the same
thing. They're not loud. A lot

408
00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:55.119
of people think and a lot of
people believe that alpha females are the ones

409
00:28:55.160 --> 00:28:56.359
that you know, I am a
woman hearing me, or look at me.

410
00:28:56.519 --> 00:29:00.680
You know that's in a social setting
that has to be seen. Actually

411
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:03.839
it's quite the opposite. They're very
low key, very stealthy. They move

412
00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:08.839
like a panther, that does describe
her CC. She is low key,

413
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:15.559
she is quiet, and she is
she's very very calculating, she's very strategic.

414
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:18.960
Absolutely, Okay, all right,
well that helps me. I also

415
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:22.000
helps gives me another level of access
to understand her and work with her.

416
00:29:22.039 --> 00:29:26.440
So that's great, Thank you for
that. You know you talked about alpha

417
00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:30.079
females leading CC. Is there a
certain way they tend to go about leading.

418
00:29:30.119 --> 00:29:32.880
Is there a way you can describe
or their style or is it just

419
00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:37.519
like everybody else more across the board. No, they pay attention more so

420
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:45.759
they again they're chamellions. They will
morph right because they're paying attention to people.

421
00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.599
And if you think about it,
the biggest thing between the leader and

422
00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:53.079
the boss, right boss's command control
leaders are power players. They're influential and

423
00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:59.799
so they get into people's heads,
they really do, and so they're looking

424
00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:02.759
at what makes people take but they
also get people to believe. So when

425
00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:06.319
you look at it through time,
you have to ask yourself, why are

426
00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:08.359
people willing to follow them? Whether
they actually know what they're doing or not.

427
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:12.680
But they'll get people to believe it, right because they had it in

428
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.920
a confidence, right, they had
an a confidence they have their presence,

429
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:22.000
and they do it in a way
that's calming such that people will gravitate towards

430
00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:26.480
that. My daughter does that.
She can You can ask her a question

431
00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:30.599
and she can just come right back
to you and tell you an answer.

432
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.400
And if I think about it for
just a second, I can recognize it's

433
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:37.880
completely not right. But the confidence
with which she delivers it is unbelievable.

434
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:41.720
Absolutely, So for me, I'll
say this, this is gets so funny.

435
00:30:41.720 --> 00:30:45.799
I used to get this question ask
a lot of times on the job,

436
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:48.160
especially with an underground undergrad and engineering, right, even though I do

437
00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:52.720
all the business side stuff now,
I would have people all the time to

438
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:55.359
say, well, you know,
you're in a groom full of men and

439
00:30:55.400 --> 00:30:57.839
all these engineers and they're going on
and these guys know all these things,

440
00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:00.960
and you know, and you don't
see to be shaken. And I said,

441
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.279
well, have you actually listened to
them? They may not know any

442
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:07.480
more than you know. They just
say it with a level of confidence that

443
00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:14.119
get you to believe it m right. And so at the same time you

444
00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:17.160
walk in with that same thing.
So the alpha female, which goes in

445
00:31:17.240 --> 00:31:21.200
differently than I will say, you
know, an average person I wouldn't you

446
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:25.400
say male versus female, because just
just the average person would walk into the

447
00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:26.599
room, even if they didn't do
as high as they want to, even

448
00:31:26.599 --> 00:31:30.119
if it kind of the presides kind
of bomb, they're gonna walk out and

449
00:31:30.119 --> 00:31:32.240
say, you didn't you know you
like that, didn't you? Why didn't

450
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:36.279
you? That was great? Don't
way? Even you have to stop and

451
00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:38.240
say, you know, maybe it
wasn't as bad as I thought. So

452
00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:42.680
that's well, and that's what they
do well. Along those lines, I'm

453
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:45.599
interested. Now let's talk about this
from the vantage point of the alpha female,

454
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:49.400
not those that she interacts with.
But where does an alpha female encounter

455
00:31:49.440 --> 00:32:00.000
difficulty at work? Where does she
get frustrated? She gets frustrated when they're

456
00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:06.880
trying to constrain her. So when
I talk about it in the book,

457
00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:10.400
I use a term for it,
the lynch to be campaign. So she

458
00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:15.759
knows and inherently she's not going out
to intimidate anyone. She's not. She's

459
00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:21.720
just being who she is. However, that presence does become intimidating for highly

460
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:24.559
insecure people. So if you have
a room full of those, you know

461
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:29.839
that presence can get a little shaky
because the first thing is oh my god,

462
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:30.519
she's trying to take my job,
or oh my god, you know,

463
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:34.480
she's trying to show me a perer. But it's just her being herself.

464
00:32:35.160 --> 00:32:37.759
So the quick thing that happens is, right, I'm gonna stop this

465
00:32:37.839 --> 00:32:42.039
into this in the bud, I'm
gonna try to exnate her movements. So

466
00:32:42.119 --> 00:32:46.319
as she sees people trying to exnate
her strategy or her agenda or her goals,

467
00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:51.240
that becomes a little bit more frustrating. Now what she will do being

468
00:32:51.240 --> 00:32:54.880
strategic, She's going to be recalculating
every single time, calculate, calculate,

469
00:32:54.920 --> 00:33:00.920
calculate, calculate, and when those
come in and try to burn her at

470
00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:06.440
the steak, because that's what's been
going on for years, both literally and

471
00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:09.400
and you know as subjectively it goes
on even now. When it burn at

472
00:33:09.400 --> 00:33:12.880
the steak is two things that happen. If you're gonna burn her and kill

473
00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:15.359
her, you gotta make sure it's
almost like you know the old Highlander movie.

474
00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:16.279
You gotta chop off her head.
You gotta make sure she did because

475
00:33:16.279 --> 00:33:19.880
if not, she's gonna come through
the fire. She's a phoenix. She's

476
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:22.319
gonna rose in the ashes that much
stronger, and again that gets more scary.

477
00:33:24.279 --> 00:33:32.400
A perfect example of this perfect example
love or hater Hillary Clinton. They've

478
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:36.000
been trying to get her for years. Yeah, yeah, and where she

479
00:33:36.039 --> 00:33:39.079
true today? This woman had that
plan formulated probably when she's about eight to

480
00:33:39.079 --> 00:33:45.359
ten years old. Bill didn't choose
her. She chose Bill. She knew

481
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:47.240
she's gonna make them into because it's
always on her agenda where she was gonna

482
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:53.559
go. I can totally see that
absolutely well. Now, so when you

483
00:33:53.559 --> 00:33:57.119
think about that, that's and look, we know, certainly Hillary Clinton,

484
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:00.519
whatever, whoever, wherever you are, I happened to be us supporter of

485
00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:05.079
her. If they think about what's
if you really target that, if you

486
00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:08.000
really unleash something like that, that
kind of power. I want to understand

487
00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:12.960
or help organizations that understand how they
can elicit the best contribution of alpha females.

488
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:16.719
What can they do to make sure
she can give her best. One

489
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:22.079
is respecting who she is and what
she bring into the table. That's amazing,

490
00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:28.119
and pay attention. Right, it's
not about making it a gender issue.

491
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:31.280
It really isn't. So in other
words, it's that equal status and

492
00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:36.440
let me take that back. So
I'm gonna take that back just a little

493
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:38.840
bit. It's giving her the equal
status that you would give an alpha man.

494
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:46.239
Okay, and that's how can they
do that? So yeah, even

495
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:52.519
trying to doesn't call a beta man
is disrespectful to her because she knows she's

496
00:34:52.519 --> 00:34:54.199
better. Yeah, do you know
what I'm saying. Yeah, So don't

497
00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:59.039
ever think her back. And so
that's where that goes. But in corporate

498
00:34:59.039 --> 00:35:02.840
America, they are your top players. And here's the interesting thing. This

499
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:07.519
is what makes them even scarier.
And it goes back and again. I

500
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:10.079
talk about this at the book about
people with power and how some of this

501
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:13.480
she can get in her own way
with her own evils sometimes. Right,

502
00:35:14.199 --> 00:35:22.079
But when you think about men and
men of power, they're calculating very little

503
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:24.480
drama, no drama, you know, they don't do that. They have

504
00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:30.920
a commis about her. They move
maneuver. But men always inherently we'll always

505
00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:34.199
their weakness side, we'll think a
little bit with their genitalium, right,

506
00:35:35.119 --> 00:35:38.440
always number one thing. She has
all those same traits she's calculating. She

507
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:44.400
can compartmentalize because she has emotions,
but she's not emotional. She's strategic.

508
00:35:45.400 --> 00:35:49.559
The trick to her is she still
has the femininity side of it, to

509
00:35:49.599 --> 00:35:53.559
have the woman's sixth sense and to
understand her sexuality where she knows how to

510
00:35:53.639 --> 00:35:57.639
use her genitalies. She has to, but she doesn't get led with it

511
00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:02.840
way to distinguish it. Yes,
absolutely, and that's one because now it's

512
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:08.000
harder to poke at a weakness.
Boy, talk about you know, the

513
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:16.679
silent secret weapon in our organization seems
to me absolutely absolutely. Well what about

514
00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:22.599
industries CC is there are there certain
industries that seem to attract or more alpha

515
00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:25.960
females or alphathemales just feel more at
home in them. No, most of

516
00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:31.039
the time they will be in predominantly
male, heavily dominated fields. M I

517
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:35.039
can totally see that. Yes,
yes, yes, so your lawyers and

518
00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:40.039
doctors, high tech again, you
know, engineers most of the time,

519
00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:44.639
that's where they will play. And
the reason why is because they won't gravitate

520
00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:47.400
toward a female dominated field. And
I'd just say, this is it.

521
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:51.920
Women, You know, sometimes we're
our own worst enemy. That it's too

522
00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:57.159
much drama. They don't do the
drama. They don't do it. Now.

523
00:36:57.159 --> 00:36:59.880
Men own drama, don't get me
wrong, but they do it differently,

524
00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:02.159
and that's what they gravitate towards more. Again, they're not emotional.

525
00:37:02.199 --> 00:37:06.519
They don't deal with the emotions at
all, so they compartmentalize. Look,

526
00:37:06.559 --> 00:37:08.239
I got this that this is work. Compartment alize that deal with that later,

527
00:37:08.440 --> 00:37:13.920
so that even though they have emotions, they're just not emotional. I

528
00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:19.960
get the distinction. We work a
lot as as management consultants around emotional intelligence.

529
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:23.360
Absolutely, so I certainly see that
if if an alpha female has the

530
00:37:23.400 --> 00:37:28.400
ability to have access to emotions and
knows when to call upon them and when

531
00:37:28.440 --> 00:37:32.159
to express them, that certainly is
quite intelligent. Absolutely, And that's the

532
00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:36.760
thing keep in mind. And again
I'm kind of bring this back to a

533
00:37:36.840 --> 00:37:38.480
Hillary in a little bit because you
know, just this recent being in the

534
00:37:38.519 --> 00:37:44.719
long light is the first thing people
will say is she's cold, unfeeling.

535
00:37:45.199 --> 00:37:50.119
No, that's not true. The
difference is is that society has always said

536
00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:53.159
a woman should be or it's seminine
to be emotional, and this is not,

537
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:55.920
well, she's not that. It
doesn't mean she's cold, just means

538
00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:59.639
that it's not who she is.
She's onto the next things. But again,

539
00:38:00.039 --> 00:38:01.320
you take that and put that on
a guy, and everybody says,

540
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:07.000
oh, that's normal, that's Okay, he's a guy. Well wait a

541
00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:14.079
minute, there's no difference, right, or there shouldn't be anyway, there

542
00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:16.079
wouldn't be a difference, and with
them there isn't a difference. Again,

543
00:38:16.159 --> 00:38:20.840
this is something that was very interesting
to me because somewhere along the line,

544
00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:24.920
society has adopted and it's a farce. And it's been a bad farce because

545
00:38:24.920 --> 00:38:28.000
I started going back through and looking
and I'm saying, you know what,

546
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:30.880
there's no biblical reference here or what
a woman should be crying and or a

547
00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:36.239
woman this is what detects a woman's
semininity, right, That has nothing to

548
00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:37.920
do with it. So somewhere along
the line, society has kind of through

549
00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:40.239
the ages, have kind of said, Okay, here's what a woman is,

550
00:38:40.280 --> 00:38:44.159
and here's what she isn't If you're
not June quiver, they're not feminine.

551
00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:47.159
Well, she's definitely not June quiver
because most of the time they wait

552
00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:50.559
to marry, if they ever get
married, they wait to have a kid.

553
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:54.400
So maybe one that's it, right, I got that, I got

554
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:58.119
that hold that thought. It's time
for us to take a short that will

555
00:38:58.159 --> 00:39:00.519
break CC. I'm your host Elisa
Quartet, we're prenaire with cc Lions,

556
00:39:00.559 --> 00:39:05.079
who is an up and coming author
who addresses taboo topics and others dare not

557
00:39:05.159 --> 00:39:08.360
embark upon. She is the author
of Alpha Female Unleashed From the Boardroom to

558
00:39:08.400 --> 00:39:12.760
the Bedroom. I encourage you to
pick up a copyright book. It's quite

559
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:15.159
compelling, she writes in a very
direct way that really calls it like it

560
00:39:15.239 --> 00:39:19.559
is. I think there's some awfully
great insights in the book. She joins

561
00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:22.599
it Today for McKinney Texas. After
the break, we're to talk more about

562
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:25.480
alpha females in relationship and community.
Stay with us, we'll be right back.

563
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:40.000
Friend us on Facebook to keep up
with what's empowering the world. Voice

564
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:47.000
America Empowerment so Alice Cortez is a
speaker and engagement and development catalyst. She

565
00:39:47.159 --> 00:39:53.000
designs and delivers professional development, leadership
and engagement workshops and can bring her expertise

566
00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:58.760
to your organization. She will help
ignite meaningful development within your workforce that will

567
00:39:58.800 --> 00:40:02.599
increase employee and agent performance and retention. To learn more or to invite a

568
00:40:02.679 --> 00:40:07.840
last to speak to your organization,
please visit her at www dot Elise Cortez

569
00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:13.719
dot com. She would welcome the
opportunity to help get your employees working on

570
00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:17.960
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579
00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:12.079
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580
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582
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:46.119
Voice America Empowerment. This is working
on Purpose with Elise Cortez. To reach

583
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:51.679
our program today, please call into
one triple eight three four six nine one

584
00:41:51.800 --> 00:41:55.440
four one again that's one triple eight
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585
00:41:55.840 --> 00:42:00.719
You may also send an email to
Elise A. L I S E at

586
00:42:00.719 --> 00:42:08.239
Elise Cortez dot com. Now back
to working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

587
00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:12.000
with us, and welcome back to
working on Purpose. If you're just tuning

588
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.920
in, my guest is CEC Lions. She is an up and coming author

589
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:19.280
that who addresses taboo topics and others
dare not approach. She's the author of

590
00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:22.000
the book called Alpha Female Unleashed from
the Boardroom to the Bedroom. I'm your

591
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:27.639
host, Elise Cortez. One thing
that we were talking about listeners while while

592
00:42:27.639 --> 00:42:30.800
Cec and I were on breakwar was
just we'd love to invite your conversation around

593
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:35.039
this topic of alpha females. Are
you an alpha female? What makes what

594
00:42:35.039 --> 00:42:37.039
makes you convinced that you are?
Do you know one? What's it like

595
00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:42.000
to be around one? We really
want you to join us, and so

596
00:42:42.280 --> 00:42:45.039
you'll notice that there'll be some conversations
here, but you can find I'm Elise

597
00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:52.360
Cortez on Twitter. I think you're
CC lions five right CC on Twitter.

598
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:55.519
Okay, so find us on Facebook
and just let us know what you're getting

599
00:42:55.559 --> 00:42:59.920
from this conversation and what it's like
to interact or be an alpha female.

600
00:42:59.920 --> 00:43:04.400
Well, we want to we want
to open the conversation and create some conversation

601
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:07.920
around this, so invite your comments. So for this next last segment,

602
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:10.519
here's for CC. I want to
take us from the workplace where we were

603
00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:14.400
in the last segment and really make
it put it on more of a personal

604
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:19.840
level here, so relationships in community. So first, what's it like to

605
00:43:19.960 --> 00:43:23.199
date an alpha female? What's it
like for someone to date her? I

606
00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:28.280
would say most people will probably say
its high maintenance. It's high and lowmaness

607
00:43:28.320 --> 00:43:31.599
at the same time. And when
I think high maintenance is they have to

608
00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:37.239
understand from a from the guy's perspective, she's not going to chase you around.

609
00:43:37.719 --> 00:43:42.360
She's not her roster's busy. And
so you know, if it's a

610
00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:45.960
guy that needs at nurturing and always
worried about, you know, some person

611
00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:49.920
being under them, you know twenty
four seven, that's not these women.

612
00:43:50.679 --> 00:43:53.480
And so to even start the conversation, to even approach them in a social

613
00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:57.679
setting, to even ask them out
or to offer them a drink at a

614
00:43:57.679 --> 00:44:01.719
social setting is you can come.
You can't come at her like you would

615
00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:07.000
with the one liners the regular one
liners. That's gonna get your X and

616
00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:12.840
A. You need to pay attention
to her because it's about her. About

617
00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:16.360
Okay, let's I have to princess
for whoever she's related, whoever she's attached

618
00:44:16.360 --> 00:44:19.920
to. What about the other person? What are they getting for by being

619
00:44:19.920 --> 00:44:28.280
with her? So they're getting what
I would say, a go getter,

620
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:31.639
a supporter. She's not a nurturer. She will nurture in a different way.

621
00:44:32.840 --> 00:44:38.320
You're getting a businesswoman. You're getting
a I will say, a very

622
00:44:38.440 --> 00:44:45.239
passionate, very extreme sexual partner,
because they have high libidos just high as

623
00:44:45.239 --> 00:44:47.519
a man is not higher. So
you're getting that side and you gotta keep

624
00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:53.599
up with her on that side as
well. But what they're getting is the

625
00:44:53.639 --> 00:45:00.119
top notch, a game woman.
That's what they're getting. So not for

626
00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:04.639
the faint of heart, for sure. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

627
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:06.760
You know, this is a woman
most like I said, most of

628
00:45:06.760 --> 00:45:09.679
these women are very accomplished. So
they're on planes, you know they are.

629
00:45:09.880 --> 00:45:13.440
Their schedules are busy, they're type. But you know when they're together

630
00:45:13.559 --> 00:45:16.679
together, they love the best.
They're only standard is a standard of excellence,

631
00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:21.920
so which means that person has to
want that kind of excellence as well.

632
00:45:22.599 --> 00:45:23.639
You know, they get treated like
royalty. A lot of times they

633
00:45:23.639 --> 00:45:30.000
may go into a restaurant and they
get the VP status without really being a

634
00:45:30.079 --> 00:45:31.199
VIP so to speak. You know, and people are saying, well,

635
00:45:31.239 --> 00:45:34.920
why they get treated so well?
Most times they may know from the people,

636
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:37.559
But a lot of times it's the
presence that they bring. It's the

637
00:45:37.599 --> 00:45:43.199
president they bring, they'll automatically get
that kind of service. What's your what's

638
00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:45.920
your presencing? From mecc is really
to be with an alpha female means you're

639
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:50.880
gonna live a pretty full life.
You're you're, you're going it's the extraordinary

640
00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:57.840
life. It's not for the common, unremarkable existence, for sure. Absolutely.

641
00:45:57.960 --> 00:46:02.079
And here's where it becomes a little
bit interesting. These women just like

642
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:07.679
the men's side, right, they
know they're obviously, they know their power.

643
00:46:08.559 --> 00:46:12.480
So when it comes to dating,
she can keep more than one guy

644
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:15.599
on a roster. So if a
guy thinks that he's her only option,

645
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:22.559
think again, he's not. So
when it comes to being very careful monogy

646
00:46:22.599 --> 00:46:25.360
be sometimes becomes a real big issue
for them to be honest with you because

647
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:30.519
they know they have options, and
so you know, it's I think it's

648
00:46:30.559 --> 00:46:32.400
more work for the man to make
sure that if he wants to, makes

649
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:36.559
her exclusive. And e gets talked
about in the book as well, because

650
00:46:36.599 --> 00:46:39.519
when you start going down that route, Alpha females is alpha's in general,

651
00:46:39.559 --> 00:46:46.800
but alpha personality and appha makeup demands
loyalty. The first time you break that

652
00:46:46.840 --> 00:46:57.440
loyalty, you're done. What about
motherhood, sec Alpha females? How do

653
00:46:57.480 --> 00:47:00.880
they approach motherhood? When they do? You know the one? It's if

654
00:47:00.880 --> 00:47:05.039
they do, a lot of them
don't. Yeah, okay, a lot

655
00:47:05.079 --> 00:47:07.239
of them don't. But even if
but on the chance if if they do,

656
00:47:08.079 --> 00:47:10.920
most of the time you'll find one, possibly two, But most of

657
00:47:10.920 --> 00:47:16.519
the time it's one, right because
they know inherently that that takes a lot

658
00:47:16.599 --> 00:47:20.159
of time right out of their day. Now, they're not the June clever

659
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:22.519
mothers. They may have a kid, and that kid, they're gonna have

660
00:47:22.559 --> 00:47:25.400
an old pair, right because why
their life still goes on. They still

661
00:47:25.400 --> 00:47:30.960
have a career. That means the
kids on a flight with them, come

662
00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:32.599
on, we're getting ready to go, right, So their life doesn't necessarily

663
00:47:32.599 --> 00:47:37.679
slow down or changes because they have
a child. And again, this kind

664
00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:38.960
of makes them appear to be cold. But it's not being cold. It's

665
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:42.119
just who they are. It doesn't
mean they love the child any less,

666
00:47:42.559 --> 00:47:45.639
but there's a certain expectation fair,
which is why so many of them even

667
00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:51.719
wait late to have kids and marry
if they decide to do it at all,

668
00:47:51.719 --> 00:47:54.679
because a lot of them choose not
to do it at all. I

669
00:47:54.719 --> 00:47:59.039
can. I can immediately see that
for sure, which is a big from

670
00:47:59.079 --> 00:48:01.519
society, because the person in society
says, especially for a woman at a

671
00:48:01.559 --> 00:48:05.840
certain age, if you don't have
kids and you're not married, what's wrong

672
00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:10.679
with you? Right? I remember
distinctly, I don't know that I would

673
00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:15.159
class myself as an alpha female.
Maybe I want to be, but I

674
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:19.840
didn't get a Mary talk. It
was thirty five, and then I wasn't

675
00:48:19.880 --> 00:48:22.199
sure I wanted to have children.
And I remember when I was living in

676
00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:24.519
Brazil much earlier, they were like, oh my gosh, what if all

677
00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:29.000
women thought the way that you did. I did ultimately have one child because

678
00:48:29.039 --> 00:48:32.400
my then husband wanted to have children. But I can appreciate very much what

679
00:48:32.440 --> 00:48:37.320
you're saying. Yes, absolutely.
One of the people I interviewed, it's

680
00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:39.679
so funny. Love this person to
death. This person got married at the

681
00:48:39.719 --> 00:48:45.239
age to sixty for the first time. Absolutely, and at the and at

682
00:48:45.239 --> 00:48:47.079
this point in their lives, it's
kind of this point of I've done all

683
00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:51.159
I needed to do, I've created
successes, right, Okay, now I'm

684
00:48:51.159 --> 00:48:53.960
good with that. No, no, I can do that because now that's

685
00:48:54.199 --> 00:48:57.519
is it's not always on the front
burner for them. It doesn't mean that

686
00:48:57.559 --> 00:49:00.840
they don't like relationships. It doesn't
mean they don't want the companionship. That's

687
00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:04.400
not something they dwell on it.
So when they look at men, whereas

688
00:49:04.440 --> 00:49:07.719
I will say again, most women
are accosted with they look at men and

689
00:49:07.760 --> 00:49:12.280
say, oh, automatically is he
marriage material? She's looking at it like,

690
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:14.559
okay, we're good for the here
and now this is great, we're

691
00:49:14.559 --> 00:49:16.360
having fun. Right, let's jet
set, let's go here, let's go

692
00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:21.280
there. You know again, I
don't need to get to be mostly tied

693
00:49:21.400 --> 00:49:27.840
up. Right. Is a strategic
to me, absolutely, absolutely, because

694
00:49:27.840 --> 00:49:30.760
they realize that it does take a
week. Now if that guy, I

695
00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:34.440
will say this, a true alpha
male is the one. And this became

696
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:37.440
a big question with men, especially
minority men. Was the number one question

697
00:49:37.639 --> 00:49:45.679
was can they be submissive? If
submissive means bowing which usually it shouldn't mean

698
00:49:45.719 --> 00:49:51.199
that I thought, I'm forget it. Submissives usually means more of allowing themselves

699
00:49:51.199 --> 00:49:53.880
to be vulnerable. Yes they can, and the one they'll do it with,

700
00:49:54.119 --> 00:49:57.239
the one they'll give on a little
bit. Is that true alpha male

701
00:49:57.880 --> 00:50:04.360
because they know he can handle it. Beautiful. Well, we're getting close

702
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:06.159
to the end of the show already, sec. I want to get two

703
00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:07.960
more things out of your real quick
for sure. How does an alpha female

704
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:12.639
show up in a community? Does
she is she a community service person?

705
00:50:12.639 --> 00:50:15.880
Does she like to lead in community
circles? What does she do? Oh?

706
00:50:15.960 --> 00:50:19.679
Absolutely, she's the person that's probably
going to be president of either the

707
00:50:19.880 --> 00:50:21.760
you know, if she has a
kid, she's probably president of the PTA,

708
00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:24.719
or she you know, or she's
or she's definitely president of one of

709
00:50:24.800 --> 00:50:31.159
the organizations that services the community.
So these women make their presence known both

710
00:50:31.199 --> 00:50:36.920
corporate and and socially. Right,
she may be the head of a nonprofit

711
00:50:37.039 --> 00:50:38.719
or she may sit in and being
a big advisor for the nonprofit. So

712
00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:44.039
they do show up for the community. They're the trailblazers. They're not always

713
00:50:44.119 --> 00:50:46.840
robi Women's lib but but they do
fight for the justice of women right,

714
00:50:47.760 --> 00:50:52.199
yep. But again they're the game
changers. They're the ones a lot of

715
00:50:52.239 --> 00:50:55.679
times that you will find that will
be the trailblazers that will either help set

716
00:50:55.719 --> 00:50:59.840
new law, set new precedence,
or be a driving force in changing at

717
00:50:59.840 --> 00:51:07.639
the Because they are the unconventional physifidal
norms, that makes makes me think they're

718
00:51:07.639 --> 00:51:09.800
an eight for the indeogram the challenger. I can see that, and it

719
00:51:10.280 --> 00:51:14.239
is that's the number I use as
the authentic alpha female in the books.

720
00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:19.800
I did notice that I thought that
was quite interesting, quite interesting. Well,

721
00:51:19.800 --> 00:51:22.039
you've written this gorgeous book, CC. What do you hope men and

722
00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:29.199
women will get from the book?
From the women's side of it? One?

723
00:51:29.400 --> 00:51:31.159
You know, I wrote it for
such that parents would be able to

724
00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:34.639
recognize, Hey, if I have
I boughtought, i'd brought home this little

725
00:51:34.639 --> 00:51:37.000
girl sugar and spice and everything nice. Well wait a minute, not quite

726
00:51:37.800 --> 00:51:40.840
be okay with it. Don't shun
it, don't discourage it. Right,

727
00:51:40.920 --> 00:51:44.880
she is who she is. Don't
be freaked out by it. For the

728
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:47.519
women and the young ones that's coming
into their own understanding, this is who

729
00:51:47.559 --> 00:51:51.639
you are, and here's kind of
how you handle some things as you're going

730
00:51:51.679 --> 00:51:54.400
through life. For the women that
aren't, it's saying it's okay because women

731
00:51:54.440 --> 00:51:58.599
inherently are strength. You have babies, right, you're strong anyway. But

732
00:51:58.599 --> 00:52:00.840
if it doesn't mean you have to
be alpha, be okay with who you

733
00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:06.159
are. For the men's side is
understanding how to embrace them and how to

734
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:13.679
respect them and how you again date
them and be in relationships with them and

735
00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:16.400
honor them even in corporate America.
So all that's there, and the bigger

736
00:52:16.440 --> 00:52:20.760
part for all, for every one
of the masses is there. The ending

737
00:52:20.840 --> 00:52:24.400
chapter ends with them and dispelling the
dark side, the stuff that people don't

738
00:52:24.519 --> 00:52:30.199
see because their successes are ten x
one hundred x. They're running a one

739
00:52:30.239 --> 00:52:34.920
hundred x. But when they crash
and they have the loads, their loads

740
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:37.880
are big as well, and people
don't see that. So they're not perfect,

741
00:52:38.760 --> 00:52:44.880
but they are excellent. Got that
Okay? Coming to the end here,

742
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:46.400
Cec, I was like to give
my guest the last word here,

743
00:52:46.480 --> 00:52:52.039
so in about a minute or less. Since this show is helping the listeners

744
00:52:52.039 --> 00:52:53.760
more meaningfully and productively connect with their
work, and we're talking about ALP with

745
00:52:53.800 --> 00:53:00.159
females, what would you like to
leave our listeners with today, Why for

746
00:53:00.159 --> 00:53:04.440
them to say, even if you
aren't quote unquote alpha female, read the

747
00:53:04.440 --> 00:53:08.320
book and you find yourself having some
of these qualities, it's okay to unleash

748
00:53:08.320 --> 00:53:10.960
that alpha within, which may be
the next book, by the way,

749
00:53:12.079 --> 00:53:15.960
but it's okay to use those qualities
both having a seat at the table,

750
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:21.519
managing it to be able to lead
and influence your situation, and don't be

751
00:53:21.599 --> 00:53:23.239
afraid of it. Don't be afraid
of what other people are gonna think,

752
00:53:24.079 --> 00:53:27.280
because those are the things that's going
to hold you back. And that's what

753
00:53:27.360 --> 00:53:30.679
distinguishes her from the rest, which
is why she gets to the point to

754
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:34.039
it. She gets through because she
really doesn't care. She's gonna do what

755
00:53:34.039 --> 00:53:37.199
she needs to do regardless. So
be okay with that and own your power.

756
00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:43.679
That is a great way to finish
the show. CEC and our listeners

757
00:53:43.719 --> 00:53:45.639
know that if they've heard in any
show us at all, that I'm all

758
00:53:45.679 --> 00:53:50.320
about empowering people to be their best, to live on passion, work work

759
00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:53.239
with purpose, work on purpose,
and really show up and be bring who

760
00:53:53.280 --> 00:53:57.239
they are. So that is a
great way to finish the show. Thank

761
00:53:57.239 --> 00:54:00.440
you so much for joining me today. This has been a fascinating conversation.

762
00:54:00.559 --> 00:54:02.239
Thank you, thank you, thank
you for having me. I really enjoyed

763
00:54:02.239 --> 00:54:06.840
it. You're welcome the listeners.
If you want to learn more about cc

764
00:54:06.960 --> 00:54:09.440
lions or her book, Alpha Female
Unleased from the Boardroom to the Bedroom,

765
00:54:09.519 --> 00:54:13.760
and she gave you some sort of
interesting some tips in there about the dark

766
00:54:13.760 --> 00:54:15.599
side that you might want to also
check out. Go to her website.

767
00:54:15.679 --> 00:54:21.519
It's cclions dot com. Let me
spell that for you ce c l y

768
00:54:21.920 --> 00:54:25.440
o ns dot com. Next week, we'll be on the air with doctor

769
00:54:25.480 --> 00:54:29.119
Bob Nelson, who was an expert
in the field of management and motivation.

770
00:54:29.159 --> 00:54:32.719
We'll be talking about how to bring
purpose alive among your employees and ways to

771
00:54:32.760 --> 00:54:37.280
recognize them to motivate and fulfill them. See you then, remember that works

772
00:54:37.280 --> 00:54:45.159
at least one third of our life, So let's work on Purpose. We

773
00:54:45.239 --> 00:54:50.199
hope you've enjoyed this week's program.
Be sure to tune into Working on Purpose

774
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:54.360
featuring your host Alis Cortez every Wednesday
at six pm Eastern time, free pm

775
00:54:54.440 --> 00:55:00.000
Pacific time on the Voice America Empowerment
Channel. This week, find your life

776
00:55:00.159 --> 00:55:09.119
Purpose at work. M