A Dream Reclaimed by a Transformed Life

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There are some people that make their
work just another thing they have to do,

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and there are those that make their
work something that they want to do.

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Welcome to Working on Purpose with your
host, Elise Cortes. In our

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program, we provide guidance and inspiration
from those people who have found deeper meaning

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and personal connection to their work life. It's beyond nine to five. It's

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working on Purpose. Now Here is
your host, Elise Cortes. Welcome back

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to your Working on Purpose show.
Thanks you for tuning in again this week.

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I'm your host, Alise Cortes.
Join you live from Dallas, which

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is home base for me. If
you've been tuning in for a while,

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you know this program is all about
helping people create more meaningful and purposeful lives

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and equipping leaders inside organizations to make
work a rich and compelling part of life

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so employees thrive, give their best
performance, and want to stay. I

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talk with my guest to draw on
their expertise and share my own experience consulting

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speaking in developing workforces across the globe. Each week. In these conversations,

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I hope you walk away with something
you can immediately put to use, and

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if I can do anything to help
you along your journey. Go to my

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website at at least Coortes dot com
and use the contact me feature to message

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me. Let's open a conversation and
explore what's going on for you and how

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I might be able to help.
Whether you want to learn how they're vitally

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inspired living your leading from purpose,
leadership program or consulting can help you develop

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you and your team's efficacy and motivating
your people to give their best while creating

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a meaning and fusied culture in your
organization. You want to see about joining

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a cash fire online community to stoke
your own passion, inspiration or purpose discovery,

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or provide this as a gift and
benefit for your team, or you

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let me to speak for your company
or conference beating. You're right, I'm

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glad, we're connected, and thanks
for listening. Now onto this week's program

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with us today is not to let
LaFond de Sis. She is the newly

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minted author of Le lu Joso pindont
Ismurlos Operation or The Bending Read, the

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story of a marvelous operation and a
motivational and teTeX speaker. Her tremendous strength

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and resilience ushered her through decades of
pain as her scoliosis progressed to where she

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could no longer avoid what would be
a botched surgery that entirely altered the course

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of her previous life and a high
flying corporate career. We'll be talking today

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about her early life and career that
shaped her, her battle with scoliosis,

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and the operation that would ultimately alter
her entire life, and how she transformed

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herself into the writer and speaker she
is today. She knows you today from

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Paris, France, not a lett
bionvenue. Welcome to working on Purpose.

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Thank you Eli sent first to really
all my gratitude for welcoming me. It's

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a really great opportunity to be there, to be back in the in the

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US with you in English. Sorry
for the accent, as you guess I'm

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French. Yes, it's a pleasure
to have all your listeners listening to my

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story. You're so very welcome,
and it is as I say I told

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you before we got on er.
It's a privilege to be in your life

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now and be part of your world. And I want to remind you listeners

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who are speaking or hearing us today
that an Alet is speaking in English,

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which is a second language. For
her, she speaks to others as well,

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so keep that in mind as we
talk. Be easy on her that

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she's generating beautifully as she speaks.
So when we for this first part of

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the conversation, Adelette, I wanted
to talk about you. I wanted to

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help our listeners just really understand who
you are, how you were reared,

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and some of that early corporate career
that you had that shaped you into who

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you are so, among other passions, for me, my listeners know that

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I'm an identity and meaning researcher.
So let's start by talking about just really

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who you are. And there's a
lot that makes you you. So if

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you were to share the key aspects
of yourself to someone who doesn't know you

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at all, what would you say? How would you describe yourself? I

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think we all agree on the fact
that I don't tity changes with each and

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level of self understanding. So we
are not one. We are meanings.

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And therefore what I should say for
she is today, I'm French, I'm

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sixty five, I'm a woman.
I'm a mother for sure, because that's

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the sort of things when it's starting
life, it's never ends. And also

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I am the type of person as
a friend you can trust. And that's

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something which is very important to my
life as a key point all over.

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But also I am and I'm still, I'm still, I'm still. But

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I was a very ambitious one,
dedicated to self insurance in order to take

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care about her self because others were
not that good to take care and really

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aiming at financial and social stability and
career as so many other identities. For

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instance, I've been I'm still a
particleirl. I love to have party,

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I love to socialize, love people, and that's very also important. But

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since the past years, since the
five past is the last five years,

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I'm reborn. I'm rebord thanks to
tom accidents which happened to me as a

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writer, as a motivational speaker,
and I hoped as a better person and

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also to myself. There's a lot
there and there's so much we can learn

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from you, and there is very
much you can draw from to motivate and

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inspire others. So and I have
seen your ted talk. It is marvelous,

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not to be no pun intended,
marvelous. Thank you. So you're

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welcome. So, so you describe
in your book about growing up in a

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wealthy home, but one that lacked
love and care and where you were psychologically

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neglected. And you say, in
that rearing you developed, as we all

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do in childhood, some beliefs that
helped you survive and would later make you

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very successful. Tell us a little
bit about your upbringing and what were those

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cooperating beliefs were, What were those
that really became your guide. Indeed,

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my family was, well, see, it's not different from an American family

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which could be wealthy but not caring
for a child that can happen all over

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the world, and for them,
the child was just an element of the

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I would call social package. And
by no means, no means at all,

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would need anything else but to be
fed and grow, no education,

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I would see. So I was
longing for love, for ideals, for

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ideas, for sharing beliefs, for
anything meaningful, alone and very lonely.

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And at what point I realized that
I was my own protector, I would

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say, and I had to create
belief on my own in order to protect

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me better and to avoid to be
mistreated. And then part of that feeling

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that the beliefs which were very important
and would saved my life at that age

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when I was a teenager, for
instance, and a bit later on,

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is that nobody could help me,
that I feel no pain, that I

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had no feeling, no risk.
And then after I transformed those beliefs as

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I was growing into life in two
I am a sort of wonder woman,

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am able of anything. I can
do, anything, I can deliver,

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anything, I can juggle with many
lives, and nothing will prevent me to

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do what I want. So that's
that sort of belief which create my life,

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of my survival when I was young, and I wanted you to talk

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about that now, Alette, because
it is so important that we as individuals

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get present to and understand those core
early beliefs that we adopted in order to

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survive as children, because oftentimes they
do make us very successful in adulthood,

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but often come at some major expense, just as it did for you.

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And it's really important to get present
to that as you did. So thank

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you for sharing that. And then
what I want understand building on that,

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since we do say that those beliefs
can often be what helps us become successful,

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talk with us a little bit about
how those early beliefs served you in

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the world of the corporate space and
how you navigated that into success. Yes,

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and come back to me to the
nineteen eighties, which were these years

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of very bright but very money oriented, very oriented to a fierce competition in

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business life. So it was not
an easy period in the economy and the

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social life, especially for a woman, because we were many on the work

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market but not that appreciated. That
means that we had to fight with men

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for some are getting the right level, the right pay rise, the right

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of responsibility, and so on and
so forth. So believe such those I

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hads, which is no one can
help me. I can have it all.

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I can care for myself. I
have no pain and no fear,

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and me in world of for instance, to be frank, I was mainly

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working in big corporation and or in
pr communications agencies, which are not a

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world of awfully nice people. Somehow, So in that world where the competition

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was fierce, where there was let's
talk frankly sexual husbment for young women,

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where there was a lot of difficulties, and where I was sometimes devastated under

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work pressure, it was an asset
to be with this sort of beliefs.

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Secondly, I was in that world
from twenty five to fourty and at that

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time. It telped me also not
to pay too much attention to myself and

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especially to my else and my body, and it told me to deliver to

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work and to succeed because I was
able to work sixteen hours a day to

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deliver before my body used to ask
for something to do. Some three hundred

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and sixty degrees worked in order to
be sure that I've covered everything. So

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I was more than performing. I
was overperforming, and that's why I've been

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successful, which is not an advised
I would give anyone to follow. But

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at the same time, I was
a sort of I would say mini t

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I mean at all you remember the
female of readly Scott. I was the

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sort of a robot, not very
I would say, not very nice to

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myself and to the others sometimes,
And that explained also why I was not

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that at happy even if I was
that successful, Yes, none less,

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I wanted to make sure that you
did it beautifully. I wanted to make

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sure that our listeners really understood just
the sheer intensity, the velocity at which

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you lived your life and worked your
career at the expense of completely being blind

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to your own health. And I
think that's really important that our listeners understand

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that, and I think you did
that there. So so next if we

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can, I want to make sure
our listeners can really understand the full transformation

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that you've gone through. So we're
going to talk more about in detail what

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you're doing today as a writer and
as a speaker, but share with us

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so they understand your the high level
of your corporate career trajectory. You have

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worked for some very large, very
very prestigious companies. You know, I

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left home when I was eighteen and
no money because I left tom that was

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it. So I paid for my
study working as made as a babysitter,

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delivering newspapers, the things young people
do in the US, and nothing fancy.

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And in my twenties I was sure
that something was true was true.

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If I wanted to succeed in a
good job, I needed to work really

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hard. But I wanted to make
money and to get get to a social

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position, and I started in a
PR agency in London for a while.

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Then I went back to a lobby
and PR International Film which was located in

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New York, in Switzerland and in
Paris, where I started as a count

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executive and finish and as a vice
president. So at twenty five. It

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was really early in my life and
it was because I was working like hell.

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I wanted to succeed and at that
time, one of the many ways

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to change salary and to get more
responsiitive ability was to change very often of

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employers. So I moved and at
each time it was a challenge from Renault,

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the car company famously known to go
to those days, because the X

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president left from Japan to Liban after
a few mistakes. Then I moved to

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Apple. At that time in the
nineteen eighty four Apple Computer was not a

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very known company. Still job well, I just launched it and it was

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the time of the launch of the
macin Touch and I was in charge of

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the pr the launch of the machine
Touch in in France. Then to mc

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douglas Donell Douglass Information System, and
I was working in that time. At

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that time I was thirty two thirty
four and I would had worked so much

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that when I lost my job from
mac don Lucas Information System because the company

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has some non profit as some financial
issues and had to to to lay leaf

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of some people, I took a
sabbatical years for two years all over the

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world too. For the first time
recover myself. But it was not enough

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because as soon as after traveling on
my own to Venezuela, Leada, Arentina

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and India Nepal, when I came
back to my home ground and to work,

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I was back in a wildlife in
pr augiency. Then I was the

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heid of the price relation for Thompsons
during the war with Iraqi. Then I

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moved to IBM, where I have
a great job at the international level for

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twenty years. And this mechanic,
this comfort zone of being delivering, about

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being a top performer, about growing
within the company with new jobs, new

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responsibilities, new new type of areriers, learning all the time. It was

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fascinating, but it was not.
It was just satisfying my ambition, my

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social mindset. But part of me
was dead inside. I can absolutely I'm

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very present to that as you as
I read your book and watched your I

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am very present to that. And
that's exactly what I want a presence for

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our listeners on the basis of you
being dead inside. We're going to talk

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after the break about what started your
transformation, but that's what I wanted to

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presence for our listeners is just really
the sheer velocity at which you lived your

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life at the expense of completely being
blind to your own health and really your

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own needs. And so that's where
we'll leave it for our break. Let's

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grab that one. I'm Alice Cortez, your host. We've been in the

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air with Natalette lafon Decise. She's
the newly minted author of I Want to

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say It in English, not just
French. The bending read the story of

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a marvelous operation, and she's a
motivational and ted X speaker. She knows

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it. Today from Paris, France, we've been talking a bit about how

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she grew up and really what birthed
her into becoming a very successful person.

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She has become and is. After
the break, we're going to hear about

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the operation and the transformation that set
her onto a new path. Stay with

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us, we'll be right back.
Alise Cortes is a speaker and engagement and

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development catalyst. She designs and delivers
professional development, leadership and engagement workshops and

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can bring her expertise to your organization. She will help ignite meaningful development within

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your workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance and retention. To learn more

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or to invite Elise to speak to
your organization, Please visit her at www

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dot Elise Coortes dot com. She
would welcome the opportunity to help get your

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employees working on purpose. This is
working on Purpose with Elise Cortes. To

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reach our program today, send an
email to a lease Alis at a Leascortes

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dot com. Now back to working
on purpose. Thanks for staying with us,

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and welcome back to working on purpose. If you're just joining us,

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My guest is not a lett Lafon
de Size. She's a newly minted author

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of The Bending Read, the story
of a marvelous operation, and a motivational

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and teTeX speaker. Her tremendous written
resilience allowed her to entirely transform herself from

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a very successful corporate executive to the
writer and speaker she is today. She

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joined us today from Paris, France. I'm your host, Lis Cortes,

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so not Alette and listeners. In
the work I do helping other people reach

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their next desired level of development or
transformation, it's often necessary to create or

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leverage some kind of a motivating catalyst
in their lives to produce the change we're

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looking for. So you had such
a catalyst delivered straight to you in the

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form of that botched spine surgery in
October twenty fourteen. So first not a

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let can you tell us how your
bodily find your body finally began to become

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the authority in your life prompted your
operation in the first place. A schoolio.

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This is not something very worrying when
you are young, and usually it

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can be treated and most quite I
would say one third of the people on

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earth have little school uses, so
it's not something fancy. But in my

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family, as I said, which
was a bit toxic and not very caring,

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nobody took care of the child I
was. And then after going through

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the corporate ladder researchial wachain ERG,
perhaps it was absolutely unpossible for me to

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stop and to pay attention to myself
and to recognize that I had a major

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health problem which need to be treated. So after being a mother, after

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some hormonal shock with the maternity,
menoposis and everything, this spinal curve which

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was twenty degree as everybody I would
say, when I was twenty thirty and

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so on, I'd become a double
spinal curve of seventy three degrees. That

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been the next step for me was
to be like the old ladies. We

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go looking to the to the pavement
because they can't when they walk look further

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to the origin because they are bending
so much. While the title of my

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book the Bending read and then I
was tom because I was suffering. I

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couldn't work anymore. I was in
pain. I could not deliver as much

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as I could as I was I
was doing before in my work. I

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was most of the time working happily
enough online virtually so I could walk from

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my bed and so on and so
forth. But my life was a nightmare.

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I would say three or four years
before the surgery, and at one

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point they see there is no other
way unique to have the surgery, which

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is wild. They put two tightened
titan titanium sticks to your to my spine

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from my neck to the bottom of
of my body, and then they unlock

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the spine. They put it right
we and this cool it like like you

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would do with the sailing boat or
something like that. And it's the ten

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hours operation. And it's really something
I know, and I knew it was

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something difficult and painful and somehow not
dangerous but quite strong. But the surgeon

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was telling me you would be much
better than before and you won't be very

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mobile on the top of your body, but you have good legs and it

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will be okay. And I was
in my mind saying, well, I

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will look like Madonna with a corsee, but it's fine. Then I know

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chance then to decide, even if
I was deeply frightened to say yes to

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that's a story because otherwise it was
anyhow. And that's why I U I

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take the full responsibility of what happened
to my life before and then and now,

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because the one who is guilty,
if someone is guilty to bring my

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body to that state, it's me
mm hmmm hm. Yes. And I

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really appreciate that you accept that responsibility
and see it that way, in part

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because I see that as an empowering
stance. I would want you to take

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that responsibility. So now next for
our listeners, you go through the surgery,

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and when you wake up the next
day from that surgery, tell us

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what happened, tell us what you
learned, tell us what you saw there

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at the foot of your bed.
In fact, instead of being in a

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nice bed in a nice room in
a nur hospital, I was still in

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the urgency, which was not what
was planned. And there was this huge

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crowd of French doctors, all very
sexy. I swear, that'll be nice

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to see them, because they didn't
look very smile. And they say,

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well, madam, you know your
surgery went well, there's still a little

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problem. Your spine has been damaged
at the nerves level. Your legs are

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dead. You can't feel them,
and they can't move, and you won't

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walk again. And I was.
I stalled at them and I couldn't believe

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it. It was not riving to
my brain and I could not believe.

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I could not believe that something like
that had happened to me. But at

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the same time I could not believe. But I knew the reality is.

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I knew that my life had changed
forever. I knew that I was.

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I understood very clearly in my mind
that I was before and an actor of

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my life, and now I was
becoming a spectator. And before I was

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free, And then now I've lost
some autonomies. And from hymp perpective,

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woman, I was now static in
a bed with access only to what my

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aunts could reach. That means the
table on my over my knees in the

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bed, eventually a phone, but
nothing else. That freedom was over and

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then little by little I understood that
I was not in that hospital for three

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weeks, that it was planned,
but for nine or one year, nine

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months or one year. And that
was the end of my life as a

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business executive in IBM, my life
as a mother, my life as a

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lover, my life as a wife, my life as a friend, my

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life as a passionate about women's network, everything which has constituted my life was

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I was stuck in that bed with
no with no movement and no no action

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to the time that we I was
we would be able to find as a

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full or partial solution. So I
was. I was in that mood and

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notably comfortable. I would see,
oh not at that. So I want

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to make sure that the listeners really
understood what you said. There. You

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said a lot, but I want
to I want to just really focus on

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this phrase. Going from an actor
in your life to a spectator, that

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is just astounding, especially for someone
as ferocious as you. So, now

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if you would help us understand a
little bit about that journey. I know

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we don't have a lot of time
to really talk through the details, but

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give us some insight into what it
was like to navigate that long journey of

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recovery. I know it was so
painful. You talk in the book about

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working through the pain and and and
vomiting through the pain, because it's just

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brought you to almost literally to your
knees. I help us understand a bit

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about what was it like physically.
First, I stayed for weeks in bed

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and nothing could happen. I was
even not able to read or to write.

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I was only with my phone.
There was no internet in the hospital

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thanks to the French organization, and
I was lost. And I had nothing

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else to do than to think about
my life, to think what I did,

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write what I should change, and
to meditate. Thanks to depatched up

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how there are good programs which are
free will help me a lot. Then

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after the next stage, was ready
to move from that bed, to be

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moved from that bed to another type
of table in rehabilitation, which should verticulize

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me, because at one point for
the body, if you lay too much

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in a bed, you need to
be verticulized, and it's very slow.

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You go sometimetus, but by sometimetals
because you are fainting, your body can't

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stand it, and you're surfering the
hell. So It took me long weeks

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like that, and at one point
I was able to stand nearly vertical with

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some ropes taking me on that table, not to fall, but vertical.

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And then it became possible to be
set on getting myself to parallel bars and

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to start to be move my foot
started to be moved by someone to re

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understand the motion. But that took
me nearly three months before I could stand

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in the vertical bars. And then
after with daily exercise, but not this

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sort of intensive exercise you would dream, some little exercise where people were moving

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my legs. I was even not
feeling them, and I wasn't able to

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do any anything like you do or
usually when you walk, or these sort

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of things. I was moved to
walk a little a bit to learn how

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to extract my legs and move from
one step to another on the stairs.

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I was able to use or later
working like a toddler, and I still

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still work like a toddler today's I'm
unable to walk properly. And then I

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would say six months after this surgery, I was with canes, and as

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I am now, that means I
can't walk any place inside my house,

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I can climb stairs if I have
play, it seems to walk to angst

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by and to magic effort to do
so. But today, five years after,

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I'm still unable to take my can
and to go outside in the street

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to go to the chemistry or to
go to the coffee shop to have a

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coffee on my own. I don't
have enough balance to do so. So

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it's it's challenging, I would say, But it is less challenging today than

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it was at that time where it
was really has the place and on the

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top of it, just to mention
it, because I don't like to mention

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it too much because I don't want
to complain. But the pain, know

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logical or mister love is permanent,
and there is nothing to be done unless

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I would agree, which I disagree
to take pen killers which are destroying who

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will be destroying my mind? No, we don't know. We don't want

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to destroy that beautiful mind of yours. And so I just want to acknowledge.

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I want to acknowledge what you've just
shared with us. And I don't

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even know how to get present to
what you the process that you went through

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to be able to at least walk
again. But I wanted to just hold

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that for a second and literally stand
in that place with you. So when

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we when you did leave the hospital
and you came home for the for the

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first time return back to your family. One of the things that just really

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struck me so profoundly in your book
and you ten access, you discovered something

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incomprehensible. You discovered that you,
the uber successful, independent superwoman, had

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become a burden to your family.
Help us understand what was it like that

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re entry process back to your family
post operation, and what was it like

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for them to have this altered being
among them. But you know, there

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is no good or bad or good
person or bad person. There is just

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a system and the family is nothing
else than a system where people work on

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the process, where you have holes
and you play the roles. And my

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role was has been for twenty years
super mom in chief, and I was

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doing even more than they were asking. That I was handling everything for my

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daughters, for my husband, and
my friends, for a woman network and

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so on and so forth. And
everybody has agreed that I was playing that

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all and there was probably some toxicity
also for my part us from their part,

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for me to do it and for
them to agree that I do it.

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But they were very surprised when they
discovered that I was in a bed,

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that I wasn't able to go to
the loot, to take shower on

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my own, to organize the house
as I used to be, and to

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answer to their needs. And for
them there was two things. They were

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full of ampathy and pity for me, but also they were suffering the l

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My daughters were suffering the l to
see their mother in such a state.

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Their whole model has disappearing to somebody
who was not complaining a lot, but

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in pain and pale and not very
able, And for them it was too

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much. So in fact, in
that sort of case, you have a

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very you. You experiment like all
of us morning. That means we got

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all the stadium, each of us
with his personality or personality and their background,

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went to a girl like me said
less negotiations, eventually acceptance, but

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somehow the three attitudes possible when you
face a major problem in life, which

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are fight, freeze or run.
That was also the case for them,

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and some of them they decided to
freeze, not to see the things of

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some of the run out of me
because it was unbearable to see me sur

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free and some others stay by by
side and fight with me. Up to

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the time I found on Aqui balance
and I could go back to life.

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But I would say none of us
are ideal and perfect, and you can't

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expect for the people to behave like
you would like them to behave. They

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are what they are, their age, with their personalities, their background and

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so forth. So there's nothing good
or bad, that's just just it.

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Yes, and so I just I
appreciate the grace with which you narrated that,

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and I want to say a little
bit more about that. But let's

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00:32:06.839 --> 00:32:08.680
grab our last break here. If
we can not elet I'm your host,

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Alis Cortez. We've got on the
air with Ndalette LaFond de Sis. She

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is the newly minted author of The
Bending Read, the story of a marvelous

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00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:20.519
operation, and she's also a motivational
and tedex speaker. She joined us today

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from Paris, France. We've been
talking a bit about the operation that altered

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her life. After the break,
we're going to hear about the dream that

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she's living today. Stay with us, we'll be right back. Alice Cortez

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is a speaker and engagement and development
catalyst. She designs and delivers professional development,

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00:32:55.960 --> 00:33:00.720
leadership and engagement workshops and can bring
her expis to your organization. She

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00:33:00.839 --> 00:33:07.359
will help ignite meaningful development within your
workforce that will increase employee engagement, performance

396
00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:10.640
and retention. To learn more or
to invite Elise to speak to your organization,

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00:33:10.839 --> 00:33:15.920
please visit her at www dot Elise
Coortes dot com. She would welcome

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00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:28.039
the opportunity to help get your employees
working on purpose. This is working on

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00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:31.960
Purpose with elease Cortes. To reach
our program today, send an email to

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00:33:32.039 --> 00:33:39.359
a lease Alise at Aleasecortes dot com. Now back to working on purpose.

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00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:45.720
Interesting markus and welcome back to working
on purpose. If you're just tuning in,

402
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:49.200
my guess is not a let LaFond
disease. She's a newly minted author

403
00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:52.880
of The Bending Read the story of
a marvelous Operation, and she's a motivational

404
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:58.319
and teTeX speaker. Her tremendous scrit
and resilience allowed her to entirely transform herself

405
00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:01.079
from a very successful corporate executive to
the writer and speaker she is today.

406
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:05.880
I'm your host, Alis Cortes.
I just want to say from the last

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00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:07.960
fit that we were talking about not
Elet. I'm wondering, I don't know

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that I picked this up in your
Ted X or your Ted talk or your

409
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:16.440
book. Are you still married?
Yeah, I'm Steve Barry. We're so

410
00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:22.719
amazing transformation there as well, my
goodness. Okay, all right, so

411
00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:28.039
present day then, I mean it's
talk about you know, witnessing a profound

412
00:34:28.119 --> 00:34:30.800
transformation or being part of this.
And I also want to say for our

413
00:34:30.880 --> 00:34:37.000
listeners that not Elet is also one
of the contributors to the women's anthology that

414
00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:39.840
I'm creating right now, so she's
sharing her story there too. But present

415
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:45.039
day you are a writer and a
motivational speaker, and you had a dream

416
00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:47.480
at age eighteen to write and knew
you wanted to write and be an author,

417
00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:52.239
but you completely ignored that, believing
that you could not support yourself as

418
00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:54.760
a writer. So talk with us
about that dream. Where did it come

419
00:34:54.800 --> 00:35:00.239
from and how did you know you
were supposed to write? Well, as

420
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:05.519
a young, young young lady,
as I was very lordly, I used

421
00:35:05.559 --> 00:35:08.159
to read a lot, and I
was fascinated by books, literature and all

422
00:35:08.679 --> 00:35:15.079
that, and my dream in my
life was really at eighteen to become a

423
00:35:15.239 --> 00:35:20.760
journalist and a writer, but I
realized that it will not not sure my

424
00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:25.119
financial expectations. Then I gave up
and I went to success. And as

425
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:30.119
I was working like hell, I
no time for to listen to my inner

426
00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:37.880
voice and to start writing. And
also probably in myself, I was frightened

427
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:44.400
to fail as a writer or to
succeed, I don't know. But nevertheless,

428
00:35:44.559 --> 00:35:46.960
at one point, after my surgery, had time for a good year.

429
00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:52.840
I had to write some report for
its thirties and then I started to

430
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:57.039
write about this experience at the hospital, the surgery, the fact that I

431
00:35:57.239 --> 00:36:01.320
was handicapped, and how everybody reactor
arounds me, the good and the bad

432
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:06.559
and everything. And I wrote a
book without not the thing. I was

433
00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:14.679
writing a book, and at one
I put a point final and then I

434
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:19.880
say, oh my god, I
am in a deep trouble because I took

435
00:36:20.360 --> 00:36:24.599
about I wrote about many things,
including my family. And if it is

436
00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:29.440
a book, first problem, I
have to tell them because they are part

437
00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:32.400
of the journey. And they were
absolutely outstanding because they read the book and

438
00:36:32.559 --> 00:36:37.519
they say, well, it's not
exactly what we would expect you to say

439
00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:40.119
about us, but that's fair enough, and you can go away. And

440
00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:46.400
then after I had some good friends, which are very good friendschick intellectual,

441
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:52.199
and I told them that, okay, I'm sending you a script. If

442
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:58.719
it's just patoos and no it tests, please don't let me be totally ridiculous

443
00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:01.480
and let me know. And then
there was two days where they were reading

444
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:07.480
the thing and I was completely worried. I say, well, I'm sure

445
00:37:07.519 --> 00:37:10.119
it's absolutely disaster what I wrote.
And then they came back to it and

446
00:37:10.199 --> 00:37:14.719
me, no, it's good.
Go for a publisher, And I went

447
00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:20.119
to a publisher. I found one, and when the book was published and

448
00:37:20.199 --> 00:37:23.400
I saw it on the shelves at
the librium, I mean, it was

449
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:28.400
like a force baby. It was
absolutely incredible. It was a pleasure,

450
00:37:28.920 --> 00:37:32.920
it was joy. And then after
it has a reasonable success in France.

451
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:37.039
But on the top of that success, I had some very specific, very

452
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:42.519
quality give she back from readers,
which so it was a sort of initiative

453
00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:47.079
journey and it was important for them
to understand what were the solution this sort

454
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:54.679
of of situation which can be a
surgery, but which can be a divorce,

455
00:37:54.760 --> 00:38:00.559
which can be unemployment, in which
are universally sort of stories. And

456
00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:07.079
then this incredible feedback was absolutely a
gift to me because I was not expecting

457
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:12.599
to eat and I felt raised from
visual responsibility. Throw out the readers,

458
00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:17.280
well, so beautiful. A couple
of things that I want to say on

459
00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:22.559
top of that. One that book
came out exactly three years after your operation,

460
00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:27.079
which I think is stunning. And
two I want, yeah, you're

461
00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:30.320
welcome. It's very inspiring. My
book is coming out this year as well,

462
00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:32.920
finally after birthing it for a bit, so I really appreciate and a

463
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.639
plaud your journey and feel a little
bit of the pain that goes along with

464
00:38:37.760 --> 00:38:40.239
it too, and creating it.
The thing that I want to talk about

465
00:38:40.280 --> 00:38:45.239
next for our listeners, and this
is so important, and you talk you

466
00:38:45.320 --> 00:38:49.760
just mentioned it before, But it's
that thing about hearing that internal voice that

467
00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:53.119
kept trying to get your attention and
tell you that how you should be living

468
00:38:53.159 --> 00:38:58.119
your life and that you should be
directing your efforts elsewhere, and you kept

469
00:38:58.199 --> 00:39:01.119
shushing it. You kept shushing it. But over there was a point somewhere,

470
00:39:01.159 --> 00:39:05.039
I think in the hospital you said, where you finally began to hear

471
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:07.480
that voice. Tell us about that. What was that like? When did

472
00:39:07.519 --> 00:39:14.239
it show? When could you hear
that voice I mean is this ye has

473
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:20.199
always been there. But I was
telling to shut down very often because I

474
00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:24.079
was in my comfort zone. I
wasn't anaesthesia of success and I didn't want

475
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:29.280
to get to move from there.
And then as I turned, I started

476
00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:32.079
really to talk with myself a lot, and to listen for the first time

477
00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:37.239
to listen to myself. And after
the surgery it was nine months of solitude,

478
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:43.119
so nothing else to than to have
this exchange. And at one point

479
00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:51.239
she pushed me to write, but
for the first time it was with no

480
00:39:51.519 --> 00:39:57.960
intention that means I had no career
path behind the fact of becoming a writer.

481
00:39:58.159 --> 00:40:01.519
It was different. It was authotic. It was respectful of my timing,

482
00:40:01.719 --> 00:40:06.559
It was respectful of my body,
It was respectful of my belief which

483
00:40:06.599 --> 00:40:14.760
had changed. It was with another
spirit and still now where some people tell

484
00:40:14.840 --> 00:40:16.960
me you should write about something and
I say, no, it's not what

485
00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:21.639
I want to write about, or
it's not what I want to talk about,

486
00:40:21.880 --> 00:40:25.800
because that's not the And I think
if we talk about the Teddix,

487
00:40:27.039 --> 00:40:32.119
which is now over one million views, which for Teddix in French is outstanding,

488
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:37.119
I would have been happy with ten
thousand. You and now it's the

489
00:40:37.239 --> 00:40:40.199
It has titles in English and in
Spanish and in French, so it goes

490
00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:47.639
to international views as well. What
is striking the people is I am on

491
00:40:47.840 --> 00:40:52.840
stage like I'm in a book,
like I'm with you today, totally authentic.

492
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:58.119
I mean I have no filter,
yes, and I can tell that,

493
00:40:58.280 --> 00:41:01.320
and I love that I'm very very
present and connected to because of that,

494
00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:05.360
And for our listeners who might not
have heard just what you said there,

495
00:41:05.400 --> 00:41:08.800
I want a presence an incredibly beautiful
and an important phrase that you just

496
00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:15.199
uttered, The anesthesia of success.
Boy, that is just so important for

497
00:41:15.239 --> 00:41:19.119
our listeners to understand that you can
be extremely successful in life but not at

498
00:41:19.159 --> 00:41:22.559
all be living your compass or your
purpose. And so there's lots of ways

499
00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:27.639
that we can anesthesia and anesthetize ourselves, but success is one of them.

500
00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:30.079
So I wanted to make sure they
heard that. So next, because we're

501
00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:32.000
getting close to being out of time
already, I want to get a couple

502
00:41:32.039 --> 00:41:36.079
more things out of you if I
can not to let I want to talk

503
00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:39.599
about how you're out now sharing your
TED talk and you're speaking as a motivational

504
00:41:39.679 --> 00:41:45.440
speaker. Because I'm a person who
is all about helping people become who they

505
00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:50.320
ache to become. Help us understand
how those experiences have been contributing to your

506
00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:54.280
own ongoing journey of transformation and becoming
more of who you really are today.

507
00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:04.960
I become because as I have no
filter, and I feel the responsibility to

508
00:42:06.320 --> 00:42:10.679
share and to pass on to new
generation, to help people, not directly,

509
00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:16.119
but just by the by examples,
by saying that I had success,

510
00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:21.480
for sure, some good things in
life, but also some failure, I

511
00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:24.880
become authentic and this brings me also
to meet many, many people and to

512
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:31.920
many opportunities because I'm not searching them
for the sake of fortune. I would

513
00:42:31.960 --> 00:42:42.840
say, So, really, what
is happening is I would say that I

514
00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:45.000
am in no more in a dream. I am in my life. I

515
00:42:45.079 --> 00:42:52.679
am totally aligned soul, spirit and
body, and paying attention and respect to

516
00:42:52.800 --> 00:42:55.719
myself as to the others. So
I'm been changing, No, not really

517
00:42:57.320 --> 00:43:01.639
my attitude versus myself, but also
my attitude versus au there, which is

518
00:43:01.760 --> 00:43:07.519
also that sometimes I say no to
some people because if I take an example,

519
00:43:07.639 --> 00:43:12.079
some people ask me as a coach
to coach them, and I say

520
00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:17.639
no. Today, I'm a speaker
nowadays and more even more a writer,

521
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:22.880
and it's no more my job my
mission to be a coach. So I'm

522
00:43:22.920 --> 00:43:27.840
no more a coach, and I
say no coaching for instance. I'm totally

523
00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:32.480
aligned to what is my life and
to what I can deliver the best for

524
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:39.719
at this very moment. So what's
next for you? I think you make

525
00:43:39.800 --> 00:43:44.400
mention of a second book. My
guess is you're probably writing something as we

526
00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:46.079
speak. But what's on the horizon
for you? Where are you taking your

527
00:43:46.159 --> 00:43:51.360
career next? My career, certainly
as a writer, and just for the

528
00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:53.519
funne fit, I want to mention
that I have a dear, dear family

529
00:43:53.719 --> 00:43:59.320
New Orleans, the La Fontaine of
New Orleans, Juan and their parents,

530
00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:04.320
which I discover some ten years ago. We are back to the eighteenth century.

531
00:44:04.840 --> 00:44:10.119
Together we crossed the ocean in different
ways, them through Cuba and Dominique

532
00:44:10.199 --> 00:44:16.000
and New Orleans and me staying my
sight, staying in France. And this

533
00:44:16.159 --> 00:44:21.519
is part of the story of this
family I would like to talk about and

534
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:25.960
to write about. And also I'm
preparing a novel about how you can deliver

535
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:34.440
yourself to being under too much pressure
and toxicity from others. But as a

536
00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:39.760
novel and also why not teleics in
English in America? Why not? I

537
00:44:39.800 --> 00:44:46.400
don't know what will happen, but
I would love. I mean, well,

538
00:44:46.519 --> 00:44:52.239
I feel I'm totally collected and write
is when I am with people,

539
00:44:52.000 --> 00:45:00.639
sharing experience and trying to go with
them to another step and another a level

540
00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:05.039
of consciousness. And if I can
help, I'm just happy me too.

541
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:07.079
I'm right there with you. Well, I would love to help get you

542
00:45:07.199 --> 00:45:08.840
on the side of the pond and
have you speaking to more audiences here not

543
00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:14.079
a Latin and again by English,
and well, and I need to practice

544
00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:19.400
my French big time, so we'll
do it together so for our listeners to

545
00:45:19.480 --> 00:45:22.639
really get present. You say this
so beautifully in your taed X talk,

546
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:27.599
But how would you compare and contrast
your life before and after this operation?

547
00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:34.239
You know what, I'm free.
I'm free because I'm less autonomous, but

548
00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:38.880
I'm free in my mind and myself. I'm no more in a permanent fight

549
00:45:39.400 --> 00:45:43.639
like I was, but I'm in
the flow. And it's very important because

550
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:46.960
everything happened easily when you are in
the floor, and so making Alice Cotes

551
00:45:47.079 --> 00:45:53.880
wrough lady in Shanghai, which is
rather unprobable. And also I think and

552
00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:58.880
it's very important. I'm a better
person. I'm normal. It's literally in

553
00:45:59.760 --> 00:46:04.039
in dresses. I was, which
t was frightening, very efficient, but

554
00:46:04.199 --> 00:46:07.679
frightening. I have no regret on
who I was, and I had to

555
00:46:08.119 --> 00:46:13.199
pass through those stage and I think
one of the advice I should have given

556
00:46:13.440 --> 00:46:16.440
in life never have a regret of
who you were. You have been,

557
00:46:16.559 --> 00:46:20.760
who you could be at that time. And now you're different. You are

558
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:23.360
better or you're worse, but you
are you who you are when you can.

559
00:46:24.239 --> 00:46:30.119
So really, I'm free, and
I'm in the field delightful and here

560
00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:32.880
we are at the close, already
in an alert. So you know this

561
00:46:34.039 --> 00:46:37.800
program is intended to help people across
the world develop more meaning, passion,

562
00:46:37.159 --> 00:46:40.559
inspiration, and purpose across their lives
and their work. With that, what

563
00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:45.360
would you like to leave our listeners
with today, Well, align your mind

564
00:46:45.480 --> 00:46:51.800
and your spirit and your body.
Believing too all but live here and now

565
00:46:52.119 --> 00:46:57.440
get who you agree and live your
life, your whole life behind because there's

566
00:46:57.480 --> 00:47:00.920
no use to keep it in your
mind. Dream a project and go for

567
00:47:01.079 --> 00:47:06.440
it and decide what is meaningful for
you. No one else knows what is

568
00:47:06.519 --> 00:47:09.119
meaningful for you, and go for
it. You are I am not a

569
00:47:09.239 --> 00:47:13.480
vig tea. I have a handicap, but I'm not my handicap go for

570
00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:20.079
free beautiful finish to the show let
Mercy. Thank you for joining us and

571
00:47:20.199 --> 00:47:22.320
working on purpose. It has been
an extreme delight and pleasure to share you

572
00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:28.719
with my listeners. Thank you,
Alice Willie. I'm very grateful for your

573
00:47:28.880 --> 00:47:31.639
home welcome and to give me this
opportunity, which I appreciate a lot.

574
00:47:32.119 --> 00:47:37.199
You're very welcome, very welcome,
and listeners. Again, I wanted to

575
00:47:37.320 --> 00:47:42.079
share an adelet with you because I
know that you need inspiration to go for

576
00:47:42.199 --> 00:47:45.320
what you what you're up to in
life, and she is a tremendous source

577
00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:49.639
of inspiration and I'm here to deliver
that for you. So that's your your

578
00:47:49.719 --> 00:47:52.719
present for the new year. This
is the beginning of twenty twenty, so

579
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:55.199
happy new year to you with that
gift. If you want to learn more

580
00:47:55.199 --> 00:47:59.679
about note let go to her book
or her ted talk. You can you

581
00:47:59.719 --> 00:48:01.760
can be you can get access to
all of those things by going to her

582
00:48:01.800 --> 00:48:06.000
website. It's not a let lafonta
dot com. Let me spell that for

583
00:48:06.159 --> 00:48:13.239
you in a N A D A
l E T t E l A f

584
00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:17.519
O n t a dot com not
e let Lafonta dot com. Last week,

585
00:48:17.559 --> 00:48:20.760
if you missed the live show,
you can always catch a be recorded

586
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:25.440
podcast. We enjoyed a special conversation
with Ellen keithline Burn, talking about her

587
00:48:25.519 --> 00:48:30.599
unique approach to building culture and leaders
inside your organizations. See you next week

588
00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:32.920
for another nurturing conversation. Remember that
works at least a third of our life,

589
00:48:32.960 --> 00:48:39.639
so let's work on purpose. Well, we hope you've enjoyed this week's

590
00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:45.599
program. Be sure to tune in
to Working on Purpose featuring your host Alis

591
00:48:45.719 --> 00:48:51.119
Cortes, each week on the Voice
America Empowerment Channel. This week, find

592
00:48:51.159 --> 00:48:52.199
your life's purpose at work.