Your Best Possible Self is Ready to Meet You

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show hosts. Thank you for choosing W

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FOURCY Radio. What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

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answer to this question. People ache
for meaning and purpose at work, to

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contribute their talents passionately and know their
lives really matter. They crave being part

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of an organization that inspires them and
helps them grow into realizing their highest potential.

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Business can be such a force for
good in the world, elevating humanity.

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In our program, we provide guidance
and inspiration to help usher in this

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world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, Doctor

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Relise Cortez. Welcome back to the
Working on Purpose program, which has been

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brought to you with passion and pride
since February of twenty fifteen. Thanks for

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Tunadian this week. Great to have
you. I am your host, doctor

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Elis Cortes. If we have not
met before and you don't know me,

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I'm an organizational psychologist and logo therapist, speaker and author. My team and

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I at Gusto Now help companies to
enlive and and fortify their operations and increase

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profitability by articulating their purpose and building
inspirational leaders and cultures activated by meaning and

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purpose. Our mission is to help
companies create destination workplaces where people flock to

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join, are intrigically motivated to perform
at their best, can grow unto their

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fuller potential, and are committed to
stay and dynamic deliver on the company's mission,

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which you can all translate to higher
profits. You can learn more about

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us and how we can work together
at gustodashnow dot com and my personal site,

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Atliscortes dot com. Now getting in
today's program, we have with us

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what you might call my brother in
arms. His name is Darren Tolly is

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the CEO and founder in chief of
Possibilities of Ignite Happy, a positive management

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consulting group on a mission to realize
endless possibilities for human driven organizations by guiding

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employers in co creating happier, highly
involved workplaces. The group facilitates positive change

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within organizations through purposeful peace, people
focused practices, and joyful inclusion as a

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spark to raise engagement and business results
to new heights. He is the author

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of Live here Possible If not your
happy, authentic self and Live a Fulfilling

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Life Where to enjoy inclusion, love
and possibilities, which we'll be talking about

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today. He joined to today from
Hartford, Connecticut. Darren A Hearty,

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Welcome to Working on Purpose, Doctor
Alese. I'm so excited to be here.

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Thanks for having me, and so
great to have you. As I

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was saying before we got on,
it is a little amazing to me just

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how similar we are in terms of
our expressions, our paths, what we

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were putting into the world. I'm
so happy to share with my listeners and

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viewers around the world. Can you
lift on. I'm glad to be here.

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I was reading your book and I
was really giggling because I knew what

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was coming. It was great and
I appreciate you having me on. Well.

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I'm looking forward to being on your
podcast as well. I didn't mention

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that you're also a podcast host.
So listeners and viewers, those of you

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are watching us via YouTube, look
at this gorgeous thing you put into the

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world, Live your possible and let
me tell you, Darren, this is

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a generous book. This is a
beautiful book, chock full of resources and

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exercises. Really gave a lot of
yourself. It's gorgeous. Thank you very

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much. Yeah, I never planned
on writing a book, and then life

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happens. I know it, wrote
you. It sounds like, so that's

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what happened when you give yourself over
to purpose. I know. So speaking

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of purpose, I want to start
how it kind of maybe got sparked at

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least I want to at least see
if I'm on the right track here.

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You share with us in your book, Darren, about your beginnings and that

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you were a premature baby by seven
weeks born in nineteen seventy. You arrived

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early, and you were behind your
peers for years and score corese skilled development,

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and for the first several years of
your life, nothing ever came easy

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to you. You say it took
a lot of effort, and I can

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imagine you write something in your that
just kind of made me. It didn't

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make me cringe. It broke my
heart. And that was that people offered

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you the idea that it would be
great if you could just be average one

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day. Yeah, could you imagine? No, Yeah, I mean the

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intentions were good. I'll give it
that. You know, back then,

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I didn't know any better, and
I was pretty uh, you know,

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pretty bless ignorantly bliss really I was. You know, those days I was

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behind my peers. I was you
know, there's things I just didn't know,

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and I think things came slower to
me and how I actually learned and

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how I would recite things. I
remember I didn't know my ABC's until i'd

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say, much later than some of
my peers. And you know, there's

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a beautiful story there that helped me
in this song in the car, I

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love it. Yes, Yeah,
you don't want me to say I don't

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think Elise yet. Yeah, there
was. Yeah, there's a quick moment

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there with my grandmother and my mother
where they they had me in the back

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of a car one day, you
know, after we went picking apples,

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and you know, when you twist
the apple you start to say ABC.

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And at the time I didn't know
my ABC's and I didn't know what I

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was doing in the back of the
in the car with my family after picking

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like sixty bags of apples. Yet
what they end up doing is actually having

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me singing abcs with each turn.
So by the time I got home,

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I actually learned my ABC's and it
was actually a breakthrough moment for me because

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I was behind, and it allowed
me to say, you know what,

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I can do this. And it
was two loving people that helped me,

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help helped me fit in, help
me be me, help me learn,

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and help me really persevere. What
I love about that story, Darren,

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And this is where I want to
see if we can try to connect the

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dots for our listeners and viewers,
because as you know very well as I

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do, that a lot of people
in the world would really love to try

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to understand their purpose, discover it, to detect it, and to live

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it. And sometimes it's right in
front of us. And so you say

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in your book that your purpose is
to bring out the best of yourself and

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those around you each and every day. You love helping other humans around you.

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And I wonder if that early beginning
of you know, really just starting

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so far behind and just aspiring for
average was part of that, Cattily was

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it? Yeah, absolutely was.
You know. Really it takes effort,

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you know, takes intention, takes
the actions, and that's really the start

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of a lot of things. It
opens a lot of doors. And what

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I started to realize is I started
to break through and catch up with my

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peers. I started to see things
differently, and I started to be more

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observe and I think I things were
more obvious to me, maybe more clear

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to me because I was a little
bit behind. And then I started to

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open up a little bit wider with
my eyes and my thinking and my curiosity.

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And it was around age nine we
actually started a local paper called the

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Silvan Gazette with my best friends JK
and Bugger and I was a paper boy

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and when I delivered these papers,
people looked a little disheveled on the weekends.

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Back then, I had no idea
what was going on. I get

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it now as an adult, Yeah, you know, back then, you

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know, I asked my friend,
like, what are we going to do?

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We got to find out what really
gets these people ticking? Like what

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brings them joy? Like? Who
are these people? You know, why

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are they looking at I mean with
the shoveled hair, half dressed, or

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maybe not dressed at all. And
what ended up happening is we actually asked

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our customers, hey, would you
like to be part of this paper.

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We like to learn what brings you
joy. So we were innocent, young

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minds, just asking a simple question
without an agenda, and we listened.

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We wrote it down and it took
off. Everybody wanted to learn more about

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what got people excited. They talked
about their pets, their gardens, their

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recipes, their trips, whatever it
is that meet them, really enjoy the

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world, see the beauty in the
world, get creative. I didn't know

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how profound that was at them at
the time until later in life when I

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had an awakening and when I went
back to this point in time, it

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was really special because what we allow
people to do is actually just share their

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story for who they are. And
what happened is that street and you know,

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at one point we're just waving at
people. You know, you just

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wave somebody you don't really want,
you just kind of wave right half hardly.

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And what happened is people are waving
people down and say I want to

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know more about the story. Because
there was a platform, it was desires,

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there was a connection, there was
is light inside like I want to

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know more about you. It was
pretty wild. I totally get that,

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Darren. I mean, I know
when you get people the opportunity to talk

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about their lives and you and you
say it in your book too, and

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you curiously listen and care and want
to understand. It's amazing what opens in

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the other person and the connection that
happens as a result. And I know

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you teach that and so do I. So it's beautiful. And yeah,

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we need to create that space we
do dicoveries to happen, for people to

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amaze us, for us to actually
hear the connections that are there. A

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lot of us fill the air the
space with you name it right right.

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Yeah. I Well, I could
say so much about that, but let's

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let's carry on, because there's so
much from your book that I want to

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surface for our listeners and viewers.
The next thing I want to go to,

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which you've already alluded to, and
I don't know if you mean this

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one that I wanted to talk about, but you mentioned an awakening. Do

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you mean the one that you had
in the D and I conference or something

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else that that's the the awakening.
Yeah, that is what opened my heart

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in my eyes differently. Yes,
let's talk about that because listeners and viewers.

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What I love about what Darren shares
in his book and is about to

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share here is you know, being
really when you really are honest with yourself

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and you recognize that who you're being
isn't quite who you really thought you were

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being in the world, and that
you have an opportunity to do something about

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that. It's magical. So your
awakening, Darren, to me, is

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so powerful. What you've done with
that awakening, Well, it was definitely

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like I said it was. It
was heart wrenching, but it opened my

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world up in a whole different way
and I actually changed the way I view

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the world. I thought I was
a good leader. I thought I was

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one of the good guys, so
to speak. And I went to this

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diversity and inclusion event, and you
know, when I was there with a

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diverse group of folks, it was
twenty five of us and I was one

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of four other white males. Nothing
wrong with that. It was actually beautiful

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because it was a four day immersion
event and the first two days we really

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got to know each other as human
beings, as people with children, as

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people with desires and purpose and just
dreams that we all want to live.

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And I I was realizing I was
connecting to these people like I was falling

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in love with these people over two
years, very diverse group of people that

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in the past I probably would have
pushed away. I was pushing away people,

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possibilities, differences, and I didn't
realize it until then. So after

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the second day, I started to
get so uncomfortable. I realized I was

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living in this bubble of trying to
help help others bring out the best in

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everyone, including myself, And what
I realized is that I was actually only

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helping people they're similar to me.
It was like the bubble of saneness.

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It was terrifying. It was terrifying, and then yeah, it was really

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one of those moments where I could
have just pushed it away and self rationalized

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and said I'm one of the good
guys. I could have said, I'm

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doing my best, my attentions are
good. It wasn't good enough. I

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realized it wasn't good enough. And
what changed in me is actually cared differently

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because I fell in love with these
group of people, and that's the difference.

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I actually started to care in a
different way, and I'm like,

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why was I not caring for people
that were not like being the past?

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And it's not that I didn't care, I just didn't make the connection about

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how beautiful these folks were. So
the next morning, I actually approached the

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group and I actually broke down because
I was one of those guys. I

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didn't think you could cry in the
workplace. I cried on the workplace,

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and I wasn't looking for sympathy.
I was just recognizing that I wasn't being

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my true, authentic self who I
was born to be. I was unconsciously

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biased at the time, but I
wasn't aware of what the things were that

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were told to me that I actually
believed that I lived out and I had

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to choose, no, that's not
who I really am, and I had

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to own that that it's still my
responsibility to take that privilege in a whole

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different direction, and I needed to
own that. And I was crying because

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I was recognizing that my bubble had
burst. The air that I was breathing.

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It was safe, it was calm. I just came into work and

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work. Everybody else had to go
over hoops and hurdles, go through hoops

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and hurdles to actually get to work, to get to the same place I

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was at, and I felt ashamed. I felt terrified I wasn't bringing my

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best. I heard stories from other
folks that they were living lives that were

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just not fair. There's all these
injustices that happened, all the divisiveness that

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we all know about. We know
about it, but I was just being

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again ignorantly bliss to what was going
on until I actually said, no,

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I'm going to change from here on
in. And I actually at that point

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changed my purpose. I was no
longer going to look at bringing out the

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best in people because that was the
bubble of sameness. And I changed to

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say, no, I'm going to
look at and enlighten people to the light

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that's the side of all of us. So I'm going to look at every

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single person in the world that there's
a light inside of all of us,

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because there is this beautiful light inside
of all of us that holds this love,

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joy, creativity, whatever it is
that lights us up that that we're

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able to show up in the world
this greater sense of purpose, and it

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allows me to look past all the
things that stopped me in the past to

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actually see the beauty and every single
human being, because that's so true if

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we actually let our guards down.
I had to let my guard down with

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this bubble firsty. And when I
did that, I expanded. It was

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hurtful. I was vulnerable. I
was courageous, yet I was terrified.

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And when I shared this story,
when I committed to the people in this

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room that I'm going to do this
for the rest of my life, I'm

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gonna write with the pink pen for
the rest of my life to show that

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I'm different, to be different,
to bring in differences, to welcome differences

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as strength, as possibilities, as
discoveries. That's the space we're talking about.

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It's the space that holds the light
where we could all shine, where

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we all belong, where we're all
human, where we all all have the

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greater desires and dreams that we can
live out. And I need to make

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sure going forward that's going to change. So I'm no longer going to live

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to be an average. Just the
way I was treating people, Remember how

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you started the show, was I
was actually treating people the way I thought

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I was supposed to be treated.
That said, no way. Everybody's possible.

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Anything is possible when we start to
change our way, in our purpose,

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in our wakening. And I had
this light up moment with my daughter

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that actually helped me see the differences
that actually are really withinside of all of

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us. And I didn't know that. Really it sounds so obvious, it

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might even sound a little corny,
but I had to let my guard down.

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There's just one I smile that's a
logo happy and everything you see behind

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me, it's just one eyed smile
that reminds me of how unique we all

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are, and that our joy and
love and creativity, e anything that we

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own, is inside of us.
When I saw my daughter light up in

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that moment, I recognize that it's
just not about her. It's about actually

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being present and conscious and actually looking
to the other folks, my daughter,

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other people in the room, for
people that are listening, to actually create

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that space so we can find those
connections, so we can find those discoveries,

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so we can enlighten the love and
the light that's inside of all of

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us. So I'm a little passionate
about it. If you can't tell I'm

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with you, I'm saying here here, I'm leading I've already said a thousand.

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Amen's already, Darren. Now your
one eyed smile guy, is that

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your watermelon Guy? It is?
Okay, yeah yeah, the WG would

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call it, yeah yeah, watermelon
guy. Yeah yeah yeah. Listeners,

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viewers, you just got a pick
of the book. Is fantastic. You

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learn all about the watermelon Guy and
such. But what we're going to do

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next is we're going to take you
through a tour of his framework, his

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possibilities framework. It's really incredibly well
thought out. It's very powerful, it's

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very robust. So we want to
take you through each of these components,

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the nuts and bolts of us,
if you will, then we'll kind of

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bring them to life as best we
can here in the time that we have

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for the show. So I love
this idea that you position them as the

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path of possibilities. The pop just
brilliant, of course, I'm right there.

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It's energy, you know, it's
vibration, it's all that great stuff.

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So possibilities. Of course, the
first p in that is purpose driven

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beliefs, so inviting the world in. So that is just of course I

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completely align with that. So talk
a little bit about this first one,

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if you would, if you would
bring it to life. For us,

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what is this? How do we
live this? P Yeah? You know,

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we often say we want to make
a difference in the world. We

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want to live with higher meeting and
higher purpose. And if we don't know

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or we don't know how to connect
to that, then how do we live

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in alignment with that? Yeah?
So once we start doing that, everything

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starts to show up. Right.
It's like we live with one word if

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maybe it's a purpose word for the
year, or maybe there's something that reminds

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us of something special in our lives. You know, a lot of people

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find heart shaped things in the world, or they find a lucky penny,

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or they see a red cardinal and
they think of something spiritual, maybe as

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someone that they've lost. For me, it's this one eyed smile reminds me

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of happiness and uniqueness and difference and
inclusion all the time. But it's important

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how do we connect to that and
why? So this belief, purpose driven

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belief is about inviting the world in. Once we know what that is,

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we know the direction we're on and
we start to put faith around that.

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And then we have direction and we're
not sure, we're not sure where we're

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going to end up. But we
know we're heading in the right space because

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if we align to this, we're
actually inviting the world in. It's like

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it's like the bubble burst that that
I was sharing a minute ago. We

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allow four things to be discovered and
found once we know, Hey, I'm

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looking for the light inside of everybody
I see and everybody I meet. Anybody

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that's willing to have this conversation,
willing to open their eyes up a little

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bit wider, willing to share their
heart with me because I'll share it with

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you, and what we're going to
light up together. If we're willing to

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do that, Guess what happens.
It becomes expansive. We're inviting it in.

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Where before I was pushing it away. I had this bubble was actually

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I thought it was protecting me,
but it was actually limiting me. Yeah,

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So we had to break through it
by starting with what does our purpose

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driven believe? And it could be
one word. I have a statement,

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It could be one word like this
year, I have a purpose word.

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It's called wonder, which I know
you like that word too, I do

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too, Yes, I do too. Okay, Well, it already came

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upon it. We've got to wrap
our first break, So listeners, viewers,

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we were talking about the first pe
of possibilities possible. Excuse me after

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the break. We're going to keep
going afterwards and we'll hit O next,

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so stay with us. We'll be
right back. I'm I'm your host,

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Doctor Les Cortez. I've been on
the air with Darren Totley. He's the

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CEO and founder and chief of Possibilities
that Ignite Happy, which is a positive

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management consulting group on a mission to
realize endless possibilities for human driven organizations by

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guiding employers and co creating happier,
highly involved workplaces. Deal with us.

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Will be right back. Doctor Elise
Cortes is a management consultant specializing in meaning

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and purpose. An inspirational speaker and
author, she helps companies visioneer for greater

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purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired
leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

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performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite

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a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her at Elisecortes dot com.

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Let's talk about how to get your
employees working on purpose. This is

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working on purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to

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open a conversation with Elise, send
an email to Alise A. L Se

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00:18:51.680 --> 00:19:00.839
at elisecortes dot com. Now back
to Working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

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00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:03.200
with us, and welcome back to
Working on Purpose. I'm your host,

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00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:07.000
doctor Elise Cortes. Like Darren,
I too am committed to researching and writing

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00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:10.440
my own books to keep lifting the
world and do the work that I'm doing.

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So the last book that came out
was in March of twenty twenty three.

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It's called The Great Revitalization, How
activating meaning and Purpose can ratically enliven

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your Business. And I wrote it
to help the readers, who are usually

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leaders and business owners, to really
understand how much the workforce has radically changed

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in the last few years. And
then I provide twenty two best projects to

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help them create the culture that they
need to be able to meet those demands

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and interests. You can find out
about my books at elisecortes dot com,

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find them on Amazon and pick them
up there if you are just now joining

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00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:44.000
me. My guest is Darren Tolly. He's the author of Live Your Possible,

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Ignite Your Happy, Authentic Self,
and live a fulfilling life, root

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to enjoy inclusion, love and possibilities, which we're talking about today. So

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we covered the p here Darren.
Now let's go on to the O for

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open minded curiosity caring enough to learn, which we kind of alluded to earlier.

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Let's let's generate that one next.
Yeah, the key here for this

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one is really letting our guards down
and you know, having a willingness to

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be open minded, you know,
showing people that we do care. I

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think that's the most important part of
when we're reaching out to the world,

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that we're actually willing to listen and
we're actually genuine about it. There's so

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many times I've been conversations where I've
seen people walk by and are people really

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listening? Do they really care?
Sometimes and sometimes I'll say something just to

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see what the reaction might be,
you know, just to make sure we're

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on the same page. But open
mindedness is a willingness to learn. We're

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willingness, a willingness to step in, I should say. And the curiosity

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part of this is our willingness to
actually take it and apply it. Because

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when you think about this, we
all come from different perspectives. We've all

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learned different things and we're living that
out and for us to be able to

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actually grow and expand actually need to
take in different concepts, differences, different

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perspectives, different ideas. It could
be just going for a walk and actually

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looking for the beauty in the world, being conscious, being present, just

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being curious about oh I see that
there, or even looking at the clouds

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and say, oh I see that
there. Part of it is grounding for

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us to be no, I'm right
here, I'm present, I'm conscious,

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I'm here, and it allows us
to actually take something else in because we

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don't want to be burdened by what
we already know and just really step out

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of the certainty of our way.
If you really want to expand and see

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what's possible and really live a life
that's inviting. Right, So we're now

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we're starting to connect to our higher
purpose because we're open minded, we were

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has a level of curiosity. We're
actually opening our hippo campus where we're actually

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opening it to say, hey,
we need to see what's what's available for

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us, what's what's accessible for us
to take and align to our purpose.

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Then we start building on that.
Yeah, I love that, and then

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you know, reaching for what we
what we what we maybe on what we

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think we know, suspending what we
blie we know for certainty, and looking

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for something beyond. I just think
that's so important, and you talk about

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in your book as well, which
then I think really allows us to get

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to the next one, the S, which is skill sets unleashed and ever

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changing mindset. Right, if we're
open to this creativity, then we're much

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more likely to be able to build
a new new skill set or unleash it.

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So if you could talk a bit
about the S there, Yeah,

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you're spot on. You know.
Our ability to actually learn is the ability

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to thrive, but our ability to
actually take everything we do, if it's

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a win, a fail, or
a mistake, we learn right. And

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if we actually align about Wow,
I want to see light or I want

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to see inclusion as an act of
bringing out the best of people, or

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inclusion has a way to actually see
differences as strengths and power. If we

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do that, guess what could guess
what happens? It shows up right,

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and we learn the skills a learned
skill, there's a learned way of living.

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It becomes our conscious way of being. It aligns to our authentic self

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because that's if we're tied to something
really important to us. Right, we

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live in with under reliving with a
higher purpose, and we're actually developing the

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skills. Guess what, it is
not only possible, it's sustainable. We're

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reinforcing the bonds. We're expanding that
bubble because the further we go out,

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the stronger the bonds are. The
bigger the smiles going to be, the

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bigger, the AHAs, the bigger
connections, the more space we're allowed to

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create because it's expansive. Yeah,
and I love too, even I totally

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aligned with this too. Is within
that one the yes, there the skill

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sets unleashed as you talk about how
learning with learning with change opens up opportunities

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and emotions, and so increasingly,
I know you and I are both interested

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in the idea of opening the emotional
realm, the emotional speak it because there's

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more more sensory data to pick up
with that, more heightened awareness, understanding,

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and connectivity available through that bigger lens
of emotions. Yeah, you know,

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I'm chuckling a little bit because I
was actually before my journey, I

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was pretty uptight and wouldn't share a
lot of my emotions. And I'm still

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working at it, Like there's that
range. Yeah, we need to have

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that ability to connect, and we
build those those scales, or we build

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those ability to actually access those emotions, we actually learn how to deal with

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them. So if there are times
that aren't great but we're sad, we're

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angry, we know how to pull
through that a little bit better. But

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that allows us to actually really thrive
on the upside. Totally dept happiness because

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there's a lot of people that I
say happiness and they kind of look from

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one side or the other and say, I don't know if I could share

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happiness. I don't know if I'm
allowed to have happiness. And that's because

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we're also confined in such a small
little bubble. We need to start expanding

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that. So exactly what you said, our emotions can actually spand with it,

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and whether our emotions comes more joy, more joy than misery is happiness.

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That's the equation, right And to
your end, one of the things

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I was going to definitely service with
you is back on the you know,

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can I can I can I experience? Can I have happiness? When I'm

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all speaking to audiences, I often
talk about passion, inspiration, purpose,

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et cetera. And usually about seven
or eight minutes into I talk, I'll

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often ask the audience, what are
you passionate about? And I look at

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the sea of faces and I watch
as they take in that question, and

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then I register there, you know
how much stat it gets displayed on the

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forehead right here, right? I
realize that for many, many, many

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people in that audience, they don't
have an answer to that question. They

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do not know what they're passionate about. And I understand that. I've been

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a member of the Walking Dead myself. I understand that's why I'm working on

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what I'm doing now, same reason
for you, because I've been a member

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of that and so one precious life
and you don't know what you're passionate about.

408
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:27.759
No, no, no, no, no, let's fix that,

409
00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:32.480
right, Let's let's go find a
way to find something to be passionate about,

410
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:34.279
something to be joyful about, something
to be happy about. There's just

411
00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:38.480
too much available. Yeah, and
you're worthy of that. We're all worthy

412
00:25:38.519 --> 00:25:42.319
of that. Exactly. I personally
had doubt. I wasn't sure if I

413
00:25:42.359 --> 00:25:45.920
was. And I start, I
had to really start to change the dialogue

414
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:48.480
in my own head, so then
I could actually have the impact that I

415
00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:52.440
want to have other people like I
am worthy, I am deserving, I

416
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:56.240
am possible, I am better than
average, right, And that starts right

417
00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:57.279
there, as we both know,
right, And I love how you start

418
00:25:57.279 --> 00:26:02.200
the book that with that as well, and earlier you were talking about being

419
00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:04.759
able to, you know, learn
to be able to handle those bigger emotions

420
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:07.759
and learn how to move through them, which makes us stronger. And that

421
00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:14.480
to me builds right into your second
s strong resilience turn challenging moments into opportunities.

422
00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:18.079
What do we have there? Yeah, there's there's a lot to this

423
00:26:18.119 --> 00:26:22.079
one resilience because I'm not just saying
it's easy. I'm not saying just go

424
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:26.880
be happy or just you know,
light a match and everything's possible. This

425
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:30.079
takes work, This takes effort,
and it's proven that the actions we take

426
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:36.559
actually will lead to the future that
we're desiring. It's not one hundred percent,

427
00:26:36.640 --> 00:26:38.319
yet it gives us a better chance, and it gives us a better

428
00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:41.319
chance to actually pull out of the
tough times, the dark times, because

429
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:45.400
I know we can't. I've seen
I've heard so many people come back to

430
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:48.960
me and just say thank you so
much. With tears of love and you

431
00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:52.359
know what's possible for them, and
it's just you got to believe me and

432
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:55.519
trust it and try it out yourself. Yet, there are a few different

433
00:26:55.960 --> 00:27:00.000
stories in this part of the book. You know, there's one that's about

434
00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.279
noble acts which I had to forgive
someone that really harms me in life that

435
00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:07.240
you know, folks will have to
read more about that. Yeah, I

436
00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:10.160
had I realized that I need to
forgive this person because I need to let

437
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:14.079
myself free. Yeah, and I'm
not saying anybody has to do that.

438
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:17.920
Yet, if you have the heart
and the ability to work through that and

439
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:22.279
be courageous and be vulnerable, being
able to forgive and have compassion and know

440
00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:26.160
that it's not your fault that you
know what it's what's an issue that happened

441
00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:29.839
to then I really encourage you to
work through that. There's another example,

442
00:27:29.880 --> 00:27:33.799
and hear about really looking at your
reservoir or positivity like this is one of

443
00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:37.960
my favorite ones. Like this is
something that listeners could actually take away from

444
00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:41.599
tonight and just say, hey,
go jot down some memories throughout your life.

445
00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:45.119
Maybe it's just hey, remember that
silvink is out that paper. Maybe

446
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:48.200
it's the Apple story maybe you know, maybe it's the pink pen. Just

447
00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:52.880
write the title like some memory and
write them down, because what you're starting

448
00:27:52.920 --> 00:27:56.279
to do is create these this really
reservoir memories that you could pull from that

449
00:27:56.319 --> 00:28:00.839
you could start to connect to that
when when times are tough, you could

450
00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:04.119
reflect back to how you got through
something or how you could actually pull through

451
00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:08.200
it with you know, your childlike
eyes again, living with wonder and awe.

452
00:28:10.119 --> 00:28:11.960
And one other thing is just serving
with heart. That's the ask to

453
00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:15.920
the Strong Resilience chapter. When we
serve with heart, we actually give of

454
00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:22.240
ourselves and give back to others.
We do let up. In fact,

455
00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:26.720
it's proof there are studies that actually
show that life slows down. I kind

456
00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:30.720
of like that, Yeah, especially
as big get older, right Darren exactly

457
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:36.720
strained down, Yeah exactly. I
was just gonna say it slows down,

458
00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:40.240
not to procrastinate, It actually slows
down for us to want to step in

459
00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:44.759
and do more. M Yeah.
I really like your your acronym that you

460
00:28:44.839 --> 00:28:48.119
share in the strong Resilience area of
be strong. So you already said it

461
00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:52.839
serve with heart, trust with belief, Trust with belief. That's who trust

462
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:55.640
is very hard for a lot of
people. As you know, two ways

463
00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:00.440
than are reserve. The reservoir possibility
overcomes he out very hard, very very

464
00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:03.319
That's a lifelong thing. The noble
acts you, then you listen, and

465
00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:07.079
then giving back. One thing that
I know as a logo therapist, Starren,

466
00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:11.359
is that we as humans are not
at our best when we're just consuming

467
00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:14.680
life. I don't care how great
and beautiful that life is. If we're

468
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:17.640
just consuming it, we're never going
to be vital. And I know this

469
00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:21.519
from my own experience of having a
very beautiful given life to me when I

470
00:29:21.559 --> 00:29:23.559
was in my mid twenties with the
maide chaffeur and a gardener. What we

471
00:29:23.599 --> 00:29:27.519
need as humans is to be of
service when we are needed in giving of

472
00:29:27.559 --> 00:29:32.119
ourselves. That is when we are
most vital. So I love that giving

473
00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:37.160
back part of be strong. Yeah, it's so true. You know.

474
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.839
I kind of again chuckle when you
say consumed, because there's a whole bit

475
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:42.640
in the book about how we consume
happiness. There's so many ads. There

476
00:29:42.759 --> 00:29:45.039
used to be a lot of advertisements
about hey, you got to eat dish,

477
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:48.279
you got to get thish, you
got to have this. That's not

478
00:29:48.359 --> 00:29:51.480
happiness, you know, maybe it's
a small small part of it, like

479
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:53.200
a small small part of it.
Yet it's to your point, it's about

480
00:29:53.240 --> 00:29:56.480
what we do with the actions we
take. How do we serve others,

481
00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:00.000
How do we get back? How
do we actually serve with heart connecting from

482
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:03.720
here becomes it becomes spiritual. Oh, no question, my friend, no

483
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:07.200
question, which takes me right to
the next one that I have to I

484
00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:11.240
have to have you get your perspective
on, because it's I imagine with wonderment

485
00:30:11.400 --> 00:30:15.160
living in awe, you and I
are totally on that same link, that

486
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:18.640
wave. I've had some amazing authors
in the show talking about these things.

487
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:22.400
So imagine with wonderment living with What's
that from your perspective, Darren, Yeah,

488
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:26.720
it's one of my favorites, especially
with a year of wonder for me

489
00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:30.640
this year, Like even just thinking
about how we look at life in the

490
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:33.160
word wonder itself, Like if you
think about the definition of wonder, do

491
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:38.039
we wonder with skepticism or doubt or
do we actually wonder with what's possible?

492
00:30:38.119 --> 00:30:41.240
I wonder what that beauty is around
the next corner. I wonder what that

493
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:45.039
light is in that individual. It's
about how we're framing how we're looking at

494
00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:48.759
the world. We're so busy looking
past things versus looking at the things that

495
00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:52.759
are sitting right in front of us. So if we start to look with

496
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.359
our kids self eyes, our childlike
eyes that are filled with wonderment and all,

497
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:00.880
we could actually get our eyes to
actually had a little bit more like

498
00:31:00.920 --> 00:31:03.960
when when think about it, when
you're younger, you're like, when's the

499
00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:07.680
last time we did that? Right? To do that right? So guess

500
00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:08.839
what happened. Our eyes are bigger, we get to take it in more,

501
00:31:10.279 --> 00:31:12.079
our mouth opens up wider, and
we actually take in more air so

502
00:31:12.119 --> 00:31:15.480
we can actually, you know,
enjoy that mobody even longer. And it's

503
00:31:15.519 --> 00:31:18.880
about connecting to creativity. I mean, we don't have creativity. That's what

504
00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:22.200
people told this in high school.
That's what people tells us as adults.

505
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:26.200
I mean, there are studies out
there, several studies. I know,

506
00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:30.720
NASA uses a study that they they
actually test adults on what percentage of adults

507
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:33.559
actually have the ability to be creative. They actually did the same study to

508
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:37.200
five year olds. You know what
percentage of five year olds you think,

509
00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:41.519
what percentage of them actually had the
ability to be creative? To answer some

510
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:47.160
of the same problems that they ask
the adults, what percentage you think ninety

511
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:49.359
eight one study exactly one was one
hundred percent. The other study was ninety

512
00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:56.160
eight percent. How about adults two
to five? Here're spot on. Yeah,

513
00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:01.759
what happened? Yeah? What happened? Right? Responsibilities We had to

514
00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:07.799
get a job, we had to
raise children. Hopefully if you you know,

515
00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:10.200
if you feel those are stressful at
times, what happens that's the responsibilities

516
00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:15.319
that echo weighs us down and we
have to slow down to actually notice to

517
00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:17.319
beauty, we have to notice and
look at the world a little bit differently.

518
00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:22.640
So this is allowing us to not
only crave curiosity, that allows us

519
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:25.599
to do it. And that's what's
fun about the one eyed smile. It's

520
00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:29.920
a one eyed smile. When you
think about the one eyed aspect of it.

521
00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:31.559
When you focus, usually you want
to focus in with one eye,

522
00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:37.240
sometimes just focus in. But allows
us to get creative, allows us to

523
00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:39.319
connect to what really lights us up. And believe me, well, we

524
00:32:39.400 --> 00:32:43.200
all have the ability to be creative. And right now, I think in

525
00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:45.680
the world it's so divisive. It's
either you've got to be right or wrong.

526
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:50.359
Right, it's zero one. But
the beauty is in between. That's

527
00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:54.440
where the possibilities live. That's the
space we're talking about. Totally with you,

528
00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:58.839
totally with you. All right,
let's grab our last break. I'm

529
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:00.559
your host, doctor really score as
we're on the air with Darren Tolly,

530
00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:05.599
who's the CEO and founder and Chief
of Possibilities at ignite Happy, which is

531
00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:08.880
a positive management consulting group on a
mission to realize endless possibilities for human D

532
00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:15.519
organizations by guiding employers and co creating
happier, highly involved workplaces. We've been

533
00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:19.079
talking about his possible model. After
the break, we're going to continue with

534
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:21.839
the last three letters and cover off
on a few more things. We'll be

535
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:40.599
right back. Doctor Elise Courts has
as a management consultant specializing in meaning and

536
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:45.759
purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies visioneer for greater purpose

537
00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:52.400
among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

538
00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.559
performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite a

539
00:33:55.680 --> 00:34:00.720
lease to speak to your organization,
please visit her at a leasset Cortes dot

540
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:09.199
com. Let's talk about how to
get your employees working on Purpose. This

541
00:34:09.360 --> 00:34:14.760
is working on Purpose with doctor Elise
Cortes. To reach our program today or

542
00:34:14.840 --> 00:34:19.920
to open a conversation with Elise,
send an email to a lease A lisee

543
00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:30.480
at Eliscortes dot com. Now back
to working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

544
00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:31.920
with us, and welcome back to
working on Purpose. I'm your host,

545
00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:36.199
doctor at Least Cortes. I mentioned
in the last break that my latest book,

546
00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:38.519
The Great Revitalization, came out in
March of twenty twenty three. What

547
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:43.039
I did for you is I created
a three page organizational assessment for you to

548
00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:45.320
devise and be able to tell the
extent to which your culture is currently meeting

549
00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:51.840
today's discerning standards. You can find
it on my website gustodashnow dot com.

550
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:54.039
You can score it and then to
see how you're doing for yourself if you

551
00:34:54.079 --> 00:34:57.760
are just now joining us. My
guest is Darrentolli. He's the author of

552
00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:00.840
livere Possible, Ignite your Happy,
Authentic Self, Live a fulfilling life where

553
00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:05.760
to enjoy inclusion, love and possibilities, which we've been talking about today.

554
00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:08.559
I've been covering his possible model here
and we've gotten up to let her be

555
00:35:08.840 --> 00:35:14.480
here and that stands for brave authenticity, be true to you boy and so

556
00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:16.079
many people. And it's a journey, right, I mean, this whole

557
00:35:16.119 --> 00:35:21.920
idea of being able to be truly
authentic, it's a journey. It's a

558
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:23.800
journey. And guess what we have
to be vulnerable about that, right,

559
00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:29.679
Britans, we do. It's true. She's inspired me with this one.

560
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:32.760
You know, it's a lot of
this book about living your possible. I'm

561
00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:37.039
not looking for you to change or
anybody to change into somebody else. Right,

562
00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:38.400
that seems like it's worked. We
don't need to be fake. We're

563
00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:42.920
already been told to be somebody else
throughout our whole lives. So this is

564
00:35:42.920 --> 00:35:46.280
really about stepping back into rebotalizing who
we really are. And I think I

565
00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:51.159
just said that because you just mentioned
your book. Yeah, you know,

566
00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:53.199
it really is. It's like,
how do we get to ourselves? And

567
00:35:53.239 --> 00:35:57.119
that's letting our guart down, it's
actually spanding that bubble. It's creating that

568
00:35:57.159 --> 00:36:00.639
space where we can actually have fun, we could play, we could actually

569
00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:04.400
explore and actually say things that maybe
we believe we were afraid to stay in

570
00:36:04.440 --> 00:36:07.519
the past. Like I say the
word love a lot more than I ever

571
00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:09.840
used to I talk about, you
know, loving people and bringing out the

572
00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:13.559
best in people, seeing the lighting
people. I bet you there's a lot

573
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:15.039
of people on the on the call
saying I don't know if I could do

574
00:36:15.159 --> 00:36:19.400
that, or that sounds like too
much. But the real reality is like,

575
00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:22.039
once we connect into who we are
and how we want to make a

576
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:25.079
difference, step into it, lead
into it. Yeah, be amazed what's

577
00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:29.760
going to happen? You actually celebrate
your own uniqueness because you're actually making it

578
00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:32.480
safe for other people to step in
and play with you and also be unique

579
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:37.039
themselves. That's what's going on here. It's easier to be you, it's

580
00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:39.679
easier to be me. It's a
lot easier. That's what's crazy to me

581
00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:43.880
is I never recognized that I was
acting like what I was supposed to be.

582
00:36:44.039 --> 00:36:45.840
Well, I was told to be
as a leader, as a person

583
00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:47.320
who I was supposed to hang out
with, how I was supposed to lead,

584
00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:51.920
I was supposed to have all the
answers. But no, that's all

585
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:53.719
wrong. In my opinion, I
was doing things upside down when I actually

586
00:36:53.840 --> 00:36:59.760
started to invite people in and invite
people's ideas and thinking and to give people

587
00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:02.920
the out opportunities move move the megaphone
away from my mouth to someone else so

588
00:37:02.920 --> 00:37:08.320
their voice could be heard because they're
actually stronger. Yeah, that's me.

589
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:12.400
That's what ended up being like,
it's not about me, it's about everybody

590
00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:15.280
else. It's so beautiful, and
I know for me, as I give

591
00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:19.239
myself further over to my authenticity hearing. One of my favorite things to do

592
00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:22.719
these days is what I'm out in
public. I love to go and celebrate

593
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:25.679
love that I see when I see
couples holding hands, I see them connected

594
00:37:25.719 --> 00:37:30.880
at a restaurant having a conversation.
I've come over and it's received well about

595
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:34.519
ninety nine point five percent of the
time. I've never had anybody say go

596
00:37:34.559 --> 00:37:37.199
away. Invariably they're like, they're
just tickled. I say, I just

597
00:37:37.239 --> 00:37:39.679
saw your love radiating from across the
room, and I just wanted you to

598
00:37:39.719 --> 00:37:44.920
know that I saw it. And
I love doing that and I love sharing

599
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:47.679
that. Can I see you with
my unique guys, I see you.

600
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:52.159
It's special and I wanted you to
know I saw it. Yeah. I

601
00:37:52.199 --> 00:37:53.960
love I love that you did that. You took that act and you made

602
00:37:54.000 --> 00:38:00.000
their day right. Yeah, we're
going to feel more comfortable, Yeah,

603
00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:00.800
Yeah, What's funny about it is, you know when I do that,

604
00:38:00.840 --> 00:38:02.840
I mean I've done it many,
many, many many times, and I

605
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:06.760
continue to do it. Is you
should start the questions how did you meet?

606
00:38:06.840 --> 00:38:08.400
And who picked up on who first? And you know, I get

607
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:12.480
to like the fifth question, and
usually then I realized that they're leaning in

608
00:38:12.519 --> 00:38:15.199
and they're ready for the next question, and I'm ready to go move on

609
00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:17.320
and do I just wanted to acknowledge
you what they're ready for the next interview

610
00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:21.199
question. So I know they're enjoying
it, and I love that, and

611
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:23.039
there's a lift and now they get
to hear, oh, yeah, we

612
00:38:23.079 --> 00:38:28.519
do have something special. Someone else
saw it. Yeah, and you leaned

613
00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:31.000
in, you're curious. Yeah,
all the things you've been talking about.

614
00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:36.039
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And
it's like just allowing ourselves to show up,

615
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:38.079
be silly, be connected to the
world, be comfortable sharing that love.

616
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:43.599
Maybe it's a finding like I talk
about in the book about I have

617
00:38:43.679 --> 00:38:47.360
found many signs out in the world
and sharing that with people was well,

618
00:38:47.360 --> 00:38:51.280
I wasn't us comfortable in the past, Like I think it's so important.

619
00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:53.320
Like some of these things are referenced
as paradilia is, which as you see

620
00:38:53.360 --> 00:38:57.559
something that is in the object of
something we'ret familiar with, but when we

621
00:38:57.599 --> 00:39:00.159
share it, people are like,
huh what, So we just got to

622
00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:04.199
get comfortable sharing whatever that is that
lights us up. Agreed, That's why

623
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:07.239
I gave the example that I did, And in so doing, I think

624
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:10.239
we get to your l which is
linking connections, thriving in joyful abundance.

625
00:39:12.280 --> 00:39:15.000
You know, I love this figuring
out what matters to us and connect us

626
00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.639
and meaning and seemingly unconnected ways.
That is just that's delighting in the joy

627
00:39:19.719 --> 00:39:22.159
of the magic of what we're what
we live in, and it's it's beautiful.

628
00:39:23.159 --> 00:39:27.320
Yeah, well, exactly the way
you shared it. We start to

629
00:39:27.320 --> 00:39:30.559
connect in different ways. Right,
we're setting ourselves up for what we're looking

630
00:39:30.599 --> 00:39:35.320
for, what we're surrounding ourselves by
our willingness to actually connect and be open,

631
00:39:35.480 --> 00:39:38.360
be be through sharing, be through
hugging, be through just connecting and

632
00:39:38.360 --> 00:39:42.559
important ways. And it could be
whatever that is. It could be loved,

633
00:39:42.559 --> 00:39:45.360
could be happening. It could just
be appreciation for someone, could be

634
00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:49.400
gratitude. You know, there's some
importance about there's a lot of importance around

635
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:52.519
having gratitude, not only to have
it yet so it shows up and you

636
00:39:52.639 --> 00:39:54.400
recognize it. We're linking to it, We're connecting to it. It's all

637
00:39:54.480 --> 00:40:00.320
about connection. What we're doing here
is we've actually created a connected or really

638
00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:04.559
it's like a it's a wheel.
It's just going all over the place.

639
00:40:04.599 --> 00:40:08.559
It's just our ability to live as
ourselves cautiously. That's what we're slowing down

640
00:40:09.559 --> 00:40:13.840
to notice and to see and to
feel. And that's what this is all

641
00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:15.719
about. It's linking these connections.
We hear that all the time, it's

642
00:40:15.719 --> 00:40:20.239
all about connections. Well, this
is it. We've gone through these steps

643
00:40:20.239 --> 00:40:22.480
going from purpose to open mind and
as to building these skills. We're resilient.

644
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:29.480
We're actually living with wonder and open
mindedness. With our imagine imagination,

645
00:40:29.519 --> 00:40:32.079
we're able to kind of connect our
brave, authentic self to this place.

646
00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:37.519
This is what really feeds us.
This is the transcendent door to happiness.

647
00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:40.400
Yeah, atable, this is it. That's the word I want you to

648
00:40:40.599 --> 00:40:45.199
want you to say, transcendent because
that now, what that means is that

649
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:51.000
we are literally transcending to a higher, more, bigger, vibrant realm.

650
00:40:51.239 --> 00:40:53.199
And that is I know that sounds
really woo woo, but increasingly, more

651
00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:57.719
and more people, more and more
leaders, more and more scientists, more

652
00:40:57.760 --> 00:41:00.440
and more scholars are using these exact
same words. They're not woo woo anymore.

653
00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:05.519
They become more of a standard issue
when you're willing to really see them,

654
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:08.519
embrace them, and allow yourself to
be comfortable with them. Yeah,

655
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:13.840
that's so important, especially what's going
on in today's world. Right, we're

656
00:41:13.880 --> 00:41:16.880
surrounded by humans. Right, we're
still working in workplaces where they have humans.

657
00:41:16.960 --> 00:41:21.159
Right, So there are human needs. And to your point is wo

658
00:41:21.159 --> 00:41:24.239
woo. Stuff is actually the human
gap that we are filling with this type

659
00:41:24.239 --> 00:41:29.920
of thinking and believing in being and
how we're showing up and how we're actually

660
00:41:29.960 --> 00:41:32.880
embracing people to step in with us, getting more comfort, linking what's possible,

661
00:41:32.920 --> 00:41:36.760
seeing what is possible. People are
starting to do things they never thought

662
00:41:36.880 --> 00:41:40.320
was possible. And that's what's so
explosive about this is where the whole analogy

663
00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:46.320
pop comes from. They start popping
all around us endlessly. Well, and

664
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:50.519
then when we think about you know, there has been such a frenzy of

665
00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:53.360
conversation about oh my gosh, this
technology going to take our jobs. Well,

666
00:41:53.639 --> 00:41:58.400
one thing that we can do as
humans is become more human. Technology

667
00:41:58.440 --> 00:42:00.280
can't do that. We can become
more human. And I think that's the

668
00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:05.679
work that both you and I are
doing Darren, through helping individuals, leaders,

669
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:08.880
teams, companies to become more human, that's what what's what we're doing.

670
00:42:09.679 --> 00:42:13.480
Yeah, absolutely, you know we're
filling the needs. Right. These

671
00:42:13.480 --> 00:42:17.360
are human ecosystems filled with human beings
with opportunities and issues, and we're filling

672
00:42:17.400 --> 00:42:22.199
those gaps right. You know,
it's really about more about leaders, being

673
00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:29.519
effective leaders, stepping into this zone
of actually working with different human beings right

674
00:42:29.679 --> 00:42:34.199
through you know, spiritually even even
connecting in a different way where it's heart

675
00:42:34.239 --> 00:42:36.719
to heart, just leaning in too, say I really care about you.

676
00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:40.280
Tell me what's going on like those
types of things. Oh yeah, in

677
00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:43.639
my in my book, I don't
know how far you got into. But

678
00:42:43.639 --> 00:42:46.159
there's the EQ chapter, there's the
SQ chapter where I talk about those things,

679
00:42:46.159 --> 00:42:50.199
you know, where we are connecting
over hearts and really you know,

680
00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:52.840
trying to really see people for the
uniqueness that they are, like you talk

681
00:42:52.880 --> 00:42:55.840
about. But the spiritual intelligence piece
is also becoming more talked about too when

682
00:42:55.880 --> 00:43:00.760
you're talking about it too in your
work right where more organizations are leaning into

683
00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:05.159
well what does that mean? That
means higher order source of values, including

684
00:43:05.199 --> 00:43:09.320
purpose, right, including transcendence that
would be in this spiritual intelligence kind of

685
00:43:09.400 --> 00:43:15.079
camp. So more and more of
these voices are converging. Yeah, especially

686
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:19.360
when you think about purpose and be
it shared and be it the folks that

687
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:22.360
we work with. If we can
connect those dots, you know, kind

688
00:43:22.360 --> 00:43:24.119
of what we're talking about here,
If we could sync up and actually ask

689
00:43:24.159 --> 00:43:28.000
people what do you value? How
do we tie that back into our overall

690
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:30.360
values and actually live it. I
mean there's so many people that kind of

691
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:32.920
roll their eyes and say, oh, yeah, we have values. It's

692
00:43:32.920 --> 00:43:37.320
on the wall, it's on the
website. No, it's not what we

693
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:40.280
mean, right, So we're talking
about stepping into it. How do we

694
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:45.719
bring this stuff to life? This
isn't about you know, skills and different

695
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:49.440
tools and words. This is actually
about living it and being it right and

696
00:43:49.440 --> 00:43:53.440
everything we do, every decision maybe
higher maybe performance coaching, opportunity, every

697
00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:58.280
way to coach someone up, how
to get people excited, how to listen,

698
00:43:58.320 --> 00:44:01.599
how to love. I'm totally with
you, totally with you, and

699
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:06.920
you know, if we didn't take
your last the last letter in your possible

700
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:09.920
that's E for endless possibilities. Keep
it popping. So now we're talking about

701
00:44:09.960 --> 00:44:15.639
cascading right and making sure that it
stays alive and living among other people and

702
00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:20.840
spreading the joy and the happiness.
Yeah, it's really a ripple effect.

703
00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:23.840
You know, if you think about
we're at this place, it's transcendent.

704
00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:28.960
The doors wide open. You know, we're living this way comfortably. We're

705
00:44:28.960 --> 00:44:32.719
more confident, we're worthy. We're
saying phrases like I am versus am I.

706
00:44:32.800 --> 00:44:36.440
You know, we are seeing this, we're seeing the possibilities. We're

707
00:44:36.440 --> 00:44:40.639
actually welcoming the next possibility. And
they're all around us. And guess what,

708
00:44:40.679 --> 00:44:45.639
they're always there, and it just
we got to this point where now

709
00:44:45.639 --> 00:44:49.119
we start to accept them, we
start to notice them, we start to

710
00:44:49.679 --> 00:44:52.800
embrace them. It's successful to all
of us as long as we're connecting those

711
00:44:52.840 --> 00:44:57.239
dots from our purpose to being able
to kind of live it all the way

712
00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:00.119
through to this point. And they're
going to start popping like it's like making

713
00:45:00.199 --> 00:45:05.599
popcorn and a popcorn maker, it
just starts popping right. It's there right,

714
00:45:05.639 --> 00:45:09.000
and it's beautiful, and sharing it
with other people will keep it alive

715
00:45:09.559 --> 00:45:14.119
because then they're going to look at
you with that look up. And what's

716
00:45:14.119 --> 00:45:16.199
gonna end up happening is they're going
to share it with you like you shared

717
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:20.519
with that couple, and it's just
going to continue to go and go and

718
00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:22.440
go. They're going to now feed
it back to you like these pictures were

719
00:45:22.440 --> 00:45:24.920
shared with me, and many of
them from a really good friend of mine,

720
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:30.039
right they saw these one eyed smiles. And it's other people that they

721
00:45:30.039 --> 00:45:32.519
start to fill your heart based on
the things they share back with you,

722
00:45:34.320 --> 00:45:36.760
So it's endless, and then you
want to share it back with them.

723
00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:40.599
You want to share back out and
different avenues and different different podcasts and another

724
00:45:40.639 --> 00:45:44.920
book, whatever it might be,
because it is possible when we put our

725
00:45:44.920 --> 00:45:47.960
mind to it, anything truly is
possible. And we have so much more

726
00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:52.480
power than we think we have as
we think about what's ahead of us.

727
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:55.480
Agreed, And you know increasingly,
you know, think about this. Ladies

728
00:45:55.480 --> 00:46:00.719
and gentlemen listening to this podcast.
You've all been in communities and organizations where

729
00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:06.360
you walk in and the energy is
so lackluster. It's so it's just a

730
00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:09.400
down energy. And you've also been
in places where it's vibrant and alive,

731
00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:15.320
and you know, it's like what
I want to say electric if you will,

732
00:46:15.360 --> 00:46:19.039
Well, that's everything is energy,
and so what we've been talking about

733
00:46:19.079 --> 00:46:23.039
here is we really are talking about
increasing the energy between ourselves, in our

734
00:46:23.079 --> 00:46:28.039
organizations, in teams. That's really
all we're doing here, and it's beautiful

735
00:46:28.079 --> 00:46:32.360
and there's there's ways to actually measure
emotional energy, vibrant energy, and that's

736
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:36.960
what we're talking about is lifting that
energy. So I just think this is

737
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:42.079
important that we also situate that because
I think sometimes it gets hard for people

738
00:46:42.079 --> 00:46:44.800
to connect those levels of dust,
but they can feel that energy, they

739
00:46:44.840 --> 00:46:49.519
know how to tap into that.
Yeah, it's really about how we orient

740
00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:52.599
that because when we point that energy
and the way we're talking about it truly

741
00:46:52.639 --> 00:46:59.440
amplifies the impact. It's a multiplier, It's huge, that's right, that's

742
00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:01.639
right. I've I've always been good
at multiplication. I've never was great at

743
00:47:01.639 --> 00:47:05.679
subtraction, but I'm good at multiplication. I know you are too. I

744
00:47:05.719 --> 00:47:07.679
love that one. We got to
the end of the show already, Darren.

745
00:47:07.679 --> 00:47:09.920
And the show, as you know, is listening to by people around

746
00:47:09.960 --> 00:47:13.880
the world, and the reason they
listen is because they either want to better

747
00:47:13.960 --> 00:47:17.679
learn how to increase their own fulfillment, commitment, connection to their work.

748
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:21.440
They want to become better leaders,
They want to know how to do business

749
00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:23.559
that betters the world in a way
that and how they operate their business.

750
00:47:23.880 --> 00:47:28.920
What would you like to leave them
with? Yeah, a lot of this

751
00:47:29.119 --> 00:47:31.880
is within reach. It's possible for
all of us, truly, you know,

752
00:47:32.079 --> 00:47:35.800
we just need to take the steps
and recognize that, hey, we

753
00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:40.159
can't have the impact, we can't
have an amplifier effect if we actually just

754
00:47:40.199 --> 00:47:45.840
slow down and create this space where
we can discover and it just starts with

755
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:50.880
one step. This is a huge
process over time, but hopefully we have

756
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:52.639
lots of time left in life.
Yet it starts today. It's that one

757
00:47:52.679 --> 00:47:55.840
step, you know, it starts
with that level of purpose. You know,

758
00:47:55.880 --> 00:48:00.360
go through the steps like we did
today, and we do have more

759
00:48:00.800 --> 00:48:04.519
power than we think about our future
because as we set up what we do

760
00:48:04.559 --> 00:48:07.320
today and we're conscious with that,
we waken to the possibilities that are ahead

761
00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:10.360
of us. We start to set
the direction that we want to we want

762
00:48:10.360 --> 00:48:13.239
to lead, the way we want
to live, the way we want to

763
00:48:13.280 --> 00:48:16.000
love, the impact we want to
have, And it is possible for any

764
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:21.199
of us. And it starts with
you, how you're showing up, how

765
00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:25.760
you're being So take a look at
that and you can have an amazing impact.

766
00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:29.840
Beautiful way to finish. Jaron,
I'm so happy to know you,

767
00:48:29.880 --> 00:48:31.079
to have read your book, to
be elevated by it, to share with

768
00:48:31.119 --> 00:48:35.559
my listeners across the world. Thank
you for being on working on purpose.

769
00:48:36.039 --> 00:48:37.760
Yeah, thank you for having me. I look forward to having you on

770
00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:40.360
my show soon like I'm looking forward
to it. Listeners and viewers, you

771
00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:44.199
are going to want to learn more
about Darren Tolly, his book Live Here

772
00:48:44.280 --> 00:48:46.400
Possible, and the work he's doing
at ignite Happy. So you can start

773
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:51.920
by visiting that website. It's ignitehappy
dot com just as you could imagine it.

774
00:48:52.199 --> 00:48:55.679
I g N I T E Happy
ignite happy dot com. Last week,

775
00:48:55.719 --> 00:48:58.840
if you missed the live show,
you can always catch it be recorded

776
00:48:58.880 --> 00:49:02.960
podcast on air with Colette Phillips,
she's the communications and pr entrepreneur. We

777
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:07.920
were talking about her beautiful book,
The Includers, the Seven Traits of Culturally

778
00:49:07.960 --> 00:49:13.880
Savvy Anti racist Leaders. The book
and our conversation really raised the cultural intelligence

779
00:49:13.880 --> 00:49:16.320
to help improve individual and collective lives
in a way that I haven't really seen.

780
00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:20.639
Just it it's very fresh in a
lot of our ideas. Listen and

781
00:49:20.639 --> 00:49:22.320
you'll see just what I mean by
that. Next week, we'll be on

782
00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:28.880
the air with Feisal Hope once again, this time talking about his book Everything

783
00:49:28.920 --> 00:49:31.599
Connects, How to Transform and Lead
in the Age of Creativity, which I

784
00:49:31.639 --> 00:49:36.159
hope you better understand the nature of
creativity and innovation and how it can be

785
00:49:36.280 --> 00:49:39.239
nurtured inside organizations and beyond. See
you there, and remember that work is

786
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:44.079
one of the best adventures and means
of realizing our potential and making the impact

787
00:49:44.119 --> 00:49:50.239
we crave. So let's work on
Purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this week's

788
00:49:50.280 --> 00:49:53.280
program. Be sure to tune into
Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor

789
00:49:53.280 --> 00:49:58.559
Elise Cortes, each week on W
four C. Why Together, We'll create

790
00:49:58.599 --> 00:50:04.079
a world where business operates conscientiously,
leadership inspires and passion performance, and employees

791
00:50:04.119 --> 00:50:07.039
are fulfilled in work that provides the
meaning and purpose they crave. See you

792
00:50:07.079 --> 00:50:09.000
there, Let's work on Purpose.