Living in a Whole New World: Making Decisions and Acting in the Full Light of Day

0:00 The topics and opinions express in the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests and not those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements radio show, programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, explicit or implied shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio or its employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W FOURCY Radio. What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their highest potential.

0:45 Business can be such a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, doctor Elise Cortes. Welcome back to the Working on Purpose program, which has been brought to you with passion and pride since February of twenty fifteen. Thanks for tuning in again this week. I'm your host, doctor Elis Cortes. If we've not met before and you don't know me, I am a management consultant, organizational logo therapist, speaker and author. My team and I at gusto Now help companies to enliven and fortify their operations by articulating purpose and building inspirational leaders and cultures activated by meaning and purpose to turn those companies from a flatline EKG to a vibrant destination workplace. There people are intrinsically motivated to perform their best, can grow into their floor potential, and are committed to stay and dynamical deliver on the company's mission. You can learn more about us and now we can work together at gustodeshnow dot com or Alascortes dot com. Now getting into today's program, we have with us David Penglaze, a behavioral scientist who works with top tier corporations helping leaders and their teams achieve success by applying evidence based strategies and tips from the fields of applied positives, psychology, professional ethics, and the science of intentional trust. Is the author of Intentionomics, the impact of your intentions on living a happy, flourishing and prosperous life and the art and science of building customer trust, how to fast track trust and earn new, repeat and referral business. Today we're talking about his latest book,

2:19 Living in the Light of Day, How to avoid this success trap, strive to be at your best and to live a more meaningful, flourishing and prosperous life. He is today from Sydney, Australia. David, welcome to Working on Purpose. Wonderful to be here, Lise. It's terrific to have you, my friend, and I want to celebrate. There's a beautiful thing that you brought into the world. Look at this, isn't it courgeous? I see it sitting behind you on your shelf. But my commendation's lovely work. Thank you so much. It's been a long time coming and it's really a lot of life work for me. So I'm glad you found some good in it. I did, and I really want to celebrate it. David. You know, because of this program, I meet amazing people I wouldn't otherwise have anybusiness meeting like yourself, and your words and your work continue to elevate me. And lift me. And I think your message in your book is boy, is this the right time for that message? I think so.

3:12 So I want to start, if we can, with the whole promise of your book, and maybe also the premise of your book. But I'll read what you have here, and I just think this perfectly situates the conversation that I want to have with you today. But you say, what if we lived in a world where intentional deception did not exist? What if we lived in a world where people's choices and actions were based on what is moral, just, legal, fair, and transparent. While I realized that it is almost, if not impossible, there is a way for you, me and others to make better and more intentional choices and actions. What impact might that might have on our overall sense of life, satisfaction and success in our professional and personal lives? I think that is so powerful. What if we lived in the full light of day and acted accordingly? How would our worlds be different? It'd be something worth all the even just uponder that for a moment.

4:00 You know, we've got so much noiseless going on in our worlds that our conscious minds get so cluttered that these moments of truth, these moments of choice that we have in our lives where we have the opportunity we each do really have, well most of us have the opportunity to take a moment and really think deeply about the decisions that we're about to make, all the actions we're about to take, and if we were really thinking about this idea of the light of day. So let's just touch on that for a moment.

4:43 This is something that when I started researching what does it mean to be able to make really good, ethical, moral, value based decisions? This idea of if you were to make this decision or take this action, would you do that if everybody knew, if it was held up in the light of day for all of us to see. And what this does for me is just bring home we've seen so much. But when you mentioned just is this the right time? Oh my goodness. We don't have to look very far, do we to see people coming on camera on traditional or on social news media where they're apologizing, but what they're not doing is apologizing for what they did. They're actually apologizing in hindsight that they've got caught. That's right, and not only deception for knowing deception. Yes, yes, So, as I've written in the book, you know, there's a big difference between a genuine unintentional mistake. None of us is perfect. You know, we all make mistakes. I know I have some of them. Some of them have been you know, have serious consequences. You know, we're all human.

6:03 But when we knowingly choose to intentionally deceive someone, you know, either professional or in our personal lives, that choice, if it's been made based on I hope I don't get caught. We deserve everything we get right, and haven't we seen that come back to Roostfoult so many celebrities, politicians, businesses, business owners, and just people in general. Yeah, it's so. What I also appreciate about your work is you're really You've written a book that doesn't just talk about, hey, we should all really behave ourselves better so that we can live in a better world. What I really appreciate about your book, David, from my advantage point, is you situated that as a possibility that's lovely to live into, and then though you teach us how to actually do that. And that's what I think is so great about your book is you know you're putting forth this great promise, but then you're teaching us skills and behaviors that we can literally start putting into practice today to live this.

7:04 A lot of this is about and even though it's all steeped in science, everything's based on evidence based research. As you would would now know the problem that we have with this, and it's a problem that I've struggled with in my work in the corporate world. But beyond that as well is the simplicity of choice. Intentional choice can get lost in people because it really comes down to would you make this decision or take this action that you're about to take or make if your partner knew about it, if your customers knew about it, if your colleagues or your manager knew about it, and if we just took that time and got really clear about what we're about to do and the consequences of that action or that disease. See, it's all possible, and that's what does excite me. I am a realist. I'm an optimist, but I'm a realist. My capacity to change the world is pretty limited.

8:11 However, each of us, individually, if we just did make let me just share this with you, lissing my wife in fact, we've just had our thirty ninth wedding anniversary. We've got two sons, Maddie and Anthony. And from the time that they were able to leave our house, one of the bits of advice that we would give them, sons, Yeah, thank you, make good decisions, right, you're good at this. I read your book, darling, you are so good at this. And what was beautiful was when they got to teenagers and they started bringing their friends home to us. They would all leave as a bunch, not Matthew or Anthony, my sons, but one or two of the other guy would they turn around, Hey, mister and missus, b we're gonna make good decisions now, I can tell you. But I can tell you at least they didn't always, as none of us did at that age too, but they got the message. And this is this is really the heart of this book.

9:16 It's not an evangelistic book. It's not a moral sledge hammer book. It's a book simply to say, we got the opportunity here, and what a difference we can make, at least in our own world. Because what we know from the science is when we do make better intentional decisions that make the world better for those around us. Not only is it good for us and good for the other people, it's good for the community within which whether we work or we interact in this is this is the true ripple effect that we can have as human beings. It sounds, it sounds out there woo woo, but it's not. It's all based in science. Not for me, young man, Not for me, because now's up into the whole space that I love, and that's called mattering. Right. We all want to matter, and so you're giving us a way to amplify our way to matter.

10:07 That's the way I see it. Yeah, when I read about you and got introduced to you, at least one of the first things that I loved with this concept of mattering. Wow, that's a really because what we know and pre COVID and post COVID, what we know is that each of us had opportunities, especially through COVID, to start to think about what does really matter in our lives. And so it's a great time for us to take a breath and to become more intentional. And I'm thinking we'll explore what we mean by that when you're ready to do that, and indeed we will. But before we do, I want to set something up that I think is really important for our listeners, and it's really central in the title of your book, and that's this thing called a success trap. And I think it's important that we talk about what that is and why that becomes problematic, especially when it comes to living in the lative day. Yeah, this is something that I've been really aware of for most of my adult life. That the world for whatever reason. My hunch is that it's driven by marketing and advertising, but it's it set us up to believe that we need to have more, want more, be more, do more, and that we judge ourselves and our own mattering if you like, our own sense of self worth.

11:39 We judge ourselves based on others, and that's the real success trap. But it's more than just social comparison, although that's a big part of it. The success trap is when we base our belief about how successful we are in life by whatever definition we have of that. But that definition is being based on what others either define success as or expect of us. And the trap in that is that if we get caught up in for me to be successful, I've got to climb the corporate ladder. For me to be successful, I've got to earn this amount of money. For me to be successful, I have to live in this type of house, in this type of neighborhood, with this kind of card, with these labeled clothes, with all of the best words and gangs and all the things that we need to have.

12:30 I just said words and gangs. I have no idea what that meant. But what I meant was the things that go, you know, bing, and all the electrics and stuff. And if we want all of that and we get lost in this wanting, then we lose our way as to what really matters in our life. And Lizzie and I we made this decision really early in our piece when we first got married, and we asked ourselves this question. And I've been challenged on this by so many people, but here we are, thirty nine years later, very very happy, and the thing that we asked ourselves was how much was enough? Yeah, Because I'm not saying success is bad, because it isn't. I am successful in my definition, and it doesn't matter what that definition means to anybody else. I'm really clear on that. But I've been caught up in this success and was able to pull myself out of it, and Lizzie and I we live a good life. So what I'm not saying is don't be successful, but be successful based on your definition, not on what others expect of you and what the market is drive this world. To know in the consumerism driven world that we're in, that we actually don't need to continually upgrade all the time. Don't get me wrong, I've got good stuff. It's at the right time for

14:01 the right reasons, right, and it's never to keep up with the giants is yeah, yeah, and then they are yeah, whoever those people are. So the other thing that I want to call out for our listeners of yours, because this is something we do talk about in this this program here, what I appreciate about what you distinguish in your book is is what's the downside of a success trap? You say, the success traps in the workplace settings cause people to avoid acknowledging unfair or unethical behavior, and they also create toxic work cultures. So that's where you get so, you know, dialed into I want this thing that I'm going to overlook. I just saw the CEO, you know, extort somebody. But I'm not going to say anything because I'm riding a good train here. That's why one of the reasons success traps are so scary and fraught with difficulty. There's anyway, So if you could speak just a little bit to the downside to that piece of it.

14:52 The pressure the president is put on people when they bought into the success trap that it becomes a herd mentality. And we've seen this, You and I and all the listeners and viewers have seen this happen. A good example that I actually do talk about in the book is this whole Wolf of Wall Street concept where I don't mention the name on audio or camera, but you know, people will know who I'm talking about. But here's the thing that worried me about when when someone Embezil's people out of their money, when they when they common or or whatever, that there were so many people that knew what was going on, and they let it just happen and kind of think, well that I was just doing my job. Well, we don't need to go down to ethical teaching here, but you know, washing your hands of your moral duty it doesn't doesn't make this world a better place. But here's the here's the issue with this in the workplace, especially when we collectively from from the CEO and all the way down on the board, when we collectively continually ask ourselves is this the right thing? Not? Will we be caught?

16:10 Then it's got to be better for not just the business, but for the customers, the stakeholders. Because back in two thousand and nineteen over here in Australia we had a lot of Royal commissions into banking and finance and superannuation, all these kinds of things, and people were asking me, because it's where I rest in the corporate world, you know, how do we rebuild trust? Well, if you have to ask that question, it's a little bit late, isn't it. What have you done to cause trust to be broken? And so the other difficulty though all these and I know you know this, is that it takes a lot of courage to speak up, especially as a solo person. Wow. Yes, indeed, And for that reason, what I'm not saying is that I judge anyone who doesn't. But we need to create workplaces where people feel safe enough when something is a right in whatever way it is, to at least get curious about it and to ask ourselves not are we doing the right or wrong thing? Although that's a great place to start. If we do this, or we continue to do this, what consequences are we creating for others? So we become so insulated either thinking about our own role or our own self as a leader, or our own team, or our own division or our own organization, that we forget everything that we do, in one way or another will impact other people.

17:41 And if we take it away from ourselves and think, how do we create the world a bit better for other people? Knowing that the science proves to us that doing good for others means good comes back to us that whole reciprocity thing. Again, it's such a simple motion, but it comes down to this moment of truth, this moment of choice. Will I make the right decision on that note, Let's grab our first break, lend our listeners and viewers just chew on that a little bit. I'm your host, doctor, release Cortez. We've got on near with David Penglaze. He's a behavioral scientist who works with top tier corporations, helping leaders and their teams to achieve success by applying evidence based strategies and tips from the fields of applied positive psychology, professional ethics, and the science of intentional trust. We've been getting into the importance of what's under his book. After this next break, we're going to get into just how we can work with intention. Stay with us, We'll be right back. Doctor release Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps company's visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's

19:15 talk about how to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Alise A Lisee at eliscortes dot com. Now back to working on purpose. Thanks for stating with us, and welcome back to working on purpose. I'm your host, doctor Atlise Cortes. Like David, I too, am committed to be able to creating a world where we all want to live and be our best. So I keep reading my own books. The last one came out in March of twenty twenty three.

19:57 It's really a book for leaders, is to help them understand today's workforce, how it's actually really radically changed, and how they can actually create a culture to be able to address that. It's it's called the Great Revitalization. How activating meaning and purpose can radically enliven your business. You can find it on Amazon or my website at least qore test dot com if you are just joining me. My guest is David Penglase. He's the author of Living in the Light of Day. How to Avoid the Success Trap, Strive to be your best and live a more meaningful, flourishing and prosperous, prosperous life. Sounds good to me. I'm in. So one of the things that I think is really important about your work and the message you're putting in this book here, David, is this notion of how to use this intentionality. So can you situate for us a little bit more about just how it is you situate that particular notion. So intention, most people's understanding of intention is what we intend to do and that's that's pretty much what it is. How when I when I started reason searching, part of positive psychology all around this concept of altruism. And the problem when I talk about altruism is most people just jump to role models of altruism. Mother Terras are Gandhi and the Likes and most of us. And you know, I've got to admit here, there's no way that I'm going to get to that level. I'm a red here.

21:26 But as I was researching this concept of altruism, this intention became such an powerful part of my research. There was a book written back in the fifties by Elizabeth Anscom and it was called Intension, the toughest book I've ever read in my life. It's a philosophical treatise and it was really tough, but it was the biggest work since Aristotle around this concept of intention. And one of the things that she said in this book back in the fifties was, whenever we think about intention, we have to have a concept of why why are we doing what we do? Now we can fast forward to the modern day, and of course Simon Senex made that whole concept are quite you know, world renowned. You know this we need to think about know why we do what we do. However, intention is more than just understanding why we're going to do it. Intention has to have a clear and mindful understanding of when we do what we're about to do, not only why we're going to do it, but the impact that it will have on others, not just on ourselves. And this is where my research became so important because it kind of just makes sense, and some people would ask, why did you need to do research into this, but no one had done this before.

22:55 If we have a positive intention for others, Let's say, if we have a positive tension for our customers, that we're really clear on what we want for them, not what we want from them, and then we mindfully do something about that on a regular basis to live up to our promise or our intention. Not only is it good for the customer, obviously, because we're making their life better, but what the research showed was that it was good for us, the person that's doing the good deed on purpose, because it gives us a stronger sense of autonomy, a strongest sense that we are in control of at least that in our lives we can make good choices that matter to other people. I find that not just from a behavioral scientist's point of view, but just from a human beings point of view. Isn't that a lovely concept? That if we really want to know what the meaning of life is, I've got no idea. But how do we bring more meaning into our lives? We become more meaningful, full of meaning when we start to focus on what we want for other people, not just what we want for ourselves. Now that's not to say that it's not important to think about what do we want for ourselves. We are our relationship with ourselves is as important,

24:25 and so we need to be clear about that. But usually what we want for ourselves happens more when we focus on what we want for others, not what we want from them, And that comes down leads to whether we're in our relationship with someone else, in our personal lives, with our children, what do we want for our children? Not what do we want from them? What do we expect of them? What do we want for our partner? What do we want for our customers? What do we want for our colleagues? If I'm a leader, what do I want for my team? This changes the way we think about our actions. There's a wonderful quote from Aristotle that I have in the book that pretty much changed my path in the research. And the quote was, we are the some of our actions.

25:15 Therefore our habits make all the difference. See in our habits of those learned automatic sequences of behavior that we all have. And if we inspect and we don't do enough of this in our lives, reflect back at the end of every week. So what do we do? And if we did that a little bit more, there's so many lessons to look out. Or was I just acting in habit? Was I just going through the motions? Or was I more intentional more often? And Aristotle finishes his statement with this, our actions and our behaviors are our morals shown in conduct. I love that that quotes it up for me as well, for the same reason everything we say, everything we do since loud and clear messages to the world about who we are and what we represent. And we can change the word morals in that our actions and our behaviors are our morals shown in conduct. We can change that to our values shown in conduct. And I would recommend to any leader listening in today, uh that that what a wonderful thing to be able to table in your next team meeting that our actions and our behaviors are our corporate value shown in action everything creatibility. Yeah, thank you, thank you.

26:32 I'd like to claim it, but it was Aristotles. Well you can share it a little bit of stage with them anyway. Well, so this is that what you just rendered their debt was so ex because listeners and viewers you're going to want to go back and replay that because there is so much and what you just gave us. Well, now what I want to do, David is and foreigners and viewers they know if they've been coming for a while, that we both inspire and educate on this show. So I would like to give people something that they can literally walk away within you. So what I want to do next is have you walk through there's four questions that you put in your book to help any of us decide if, in the light of the day, we are to proceed with any decision or action. I think this is incredibly useful, So let's go through each one. I have them queued up here, but if you know them in order, I just want to have you just talk through briefly each one of them so they can get their arms around it and be able to use it when they get off this era. So of the four, all of them rest on this one. Okay, So they're all just variations of them. So the light of day test in the way that I ask it or use it in my life and in the corporate world I'm consulting. Is this with this decision or this action, would I make it if it were held up in the light of day for all to see? So that's the base. If you're right, yes, then we can start to play around with it and become more specific out with this decision I'm about to make. All this action I'm about

28:03 to take, will it? Will it promote me towards being a better person? Will it? Will it help other people? Will it make the world a better place? Now these aren't exactly what I've written in the book, but I just like to vary them because I don't want people to think these are the only questions that I need to make. Will will this action or this decision I'm about to make? Will the consequences determine? Will they lay well with other people? So start with the base. What I would recommend to the listeners and viewers. Is it that once you get clear that it's your getting back to Aristotle, that it's your actions and your behaviors shown in conduct, in other words, what we do, then we need to be asking ourselves with this decision or this action or this behavior that I'm about to do, and is it moving me towards being my best self? Is it helping other people? Will it help us achieve the goal that we're trying to achieve, knowing that there will always be consequences and are we aware of what they are? So it's starting at least with this base concept of living in the light of day. If people knew about it, is it a good decision? Am I going to be proud of it? Well? It make me a better person. So they're the variations at lease of that one core light of day test if you like, and again what I like about it

29:33 and want to reinforce for our listeners and viewers is imagine if you actually went through this exercise on a regular basis for the decisions you were about to make, the actions you're about to take. I think it would radically elevate the quality of your life, your lives and your relationships and your results. So this is really really I think it's really You can tell I'm slightly sold in what you're doing here. Well, again, it's such a simple concept, you know. I've got when the kids were growing up, we had them in the back seat and we would hear them ask Dad, what speed are you going? And so now they're not in the back seat, do I just start speeding or do I hold myself accountable for the speed limit? Again, it's such a simple notion. And this is not all goody two shoe stuff. That's not what this is about. It's holding ourselves accountable and responsible for the decisions that we make and the actions that we take, knowing that we will make mistakes. It's just part of being human. But a mistake unintentionally made does not breach trust. It can do a little damage, but it's not unmendible if that's all. But if we intentionally do it, we choose to make a deceptive decision or action, then trust is really hard to bring back. Agreed, All right, let's grab our last break. I'm your host, doctor Release Cortes, who go to the air with David Penglase.

31:04 He's a behavioral scientist who works with top tier corporations, helping leaders and their teams achieve success by applying evidence based strategies and tips from the fields of applied positive psychology, professional ethics, and the science of intentional trust. We got in deep in here into really how we can utilize intentionality. After the break, we're going to really cover heavy. He's got a triangle of three trusts and also intentional steps to trust that we're going to walk you through deal with. This will be right back. Doctor Release Cortes is a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate full film performance and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Elise ALISEE at eliscortes dot com. Now back to working on purpose. Interesting with us and welcome

32:37 back to working on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes. One of the piece of news that i want to share with you. I've stumbled on this fantastic conference and I'll be attending thanks to hearing about it from Paul Skinner, who's been on this program a couple of times in London and Dominic Courage. So it's called Humanitarian Exchange. It's February twentieth next year. You can you can attend in person or it's in London. And the whole idea here is they're building this event series and digital community here through this thing called Humanitarian Exchange. And the idea is is they're bringing together, in the face of all these escalating global crisis driven by climate and conflict, this Exchange and they're aiming to mobilize a million strong new generation of humanitarians for a new humanitarian are era. So this is like amazing. And so here's the great thing.

33:24 What their call is and that's why I'm involved, is their call is to challenge our generation and everyone that's part of it to play and they want purpose driven organizations and individuals across society to meet in this exchange, and that's why I'm going. So you can find it by going to Humanitarian Exchange dot org. There's no E in exchange, so Humanitarian exchange dot org you can register with the code hx priority all caps hx das priority to prioritize your in person or online place in this thanks to being part of this podcast listenership, So come with me where it's going to be amazing if you are just joining us today. My guest is David pen Blaze. He is the author of Living in the Light of Day, How to avoid the Success Trap, strive to be your best and live a more meaningful, flourishing and prosperous life, which is amazing. I read it, of course cover to cover. So now, David, we've covered intentionality really here quite well. I think I want to move on to trust, and you have this really amazing Yeah.

34:21 I love the way you use models in your book, by the way, but the triangle of three trusts, let's talk about that next. So trust and I do use models, and one of the reasons is that to break big concepts down. Yeah, it just makes it easier for us to understand learn And so this model, if you can think about it. It's an inverted triangle, and it's inverted triangle for a reason that there's the pointing end is on the bottom, and the batter end, if you like, is on the top, and the pointy end if we don't get it right, and the point end is our self trust. And so I break trust down into three lenses. And so the first lens is this self trust, and it's the pointing end of this inverted triangle because if you think about the triangle, if self trust isn't right, everything else starts to waiver. And so with self trust, there's the number of things and way too much for us to go into this today. But self trust one way to look at this is that it's the confidence that we have in who we are, what we are, and why we are. But it's also the sense of control that we have our self control. And this is where the idea of holding ourselves accountable for our actions and our behaviors become so important. So self trust.

35:46 But again, most of us would admit that we're human, we will make mistakes, and self trust is about and I asked this of audiences, you know, do you trust yourself? And everybody puts their hand up and say, well, of course we do. But then most people will also readily say yes, but I know that I've let myself down on occasion. I've either not had that conversation that I needed to have, I haven't done the exercise that I needed to do. Maybe I drank that extra glass of wine or bottle that I shouldn't have done, or whatever. So we're all human, but that sense of self trust pulls everything else together. And the next lens, which sits above that, is our propensity to trust in other people.

36:31 And this takes courage. When we think of courage, we often think of, you know, save the world type of courage, but that's not what I'm talking about here. It's the courage to know that when I do place my trust in someone, there's a risk attached to that, and there could be a range of risks. And what I see a lot of people do is that they choose not to trust other people, that they just do it themselves, especially in the corporate world. And what we see, at least you would have seen this that they take more and more on themselves because they can do it quicker, they can do it better, so they don't trust other people. And then that person becomes overwhelmed because they're time poor and they get exhausted. And that's when you know, we have all the problems with mental illness and stress and anxiety, and so we need to trust other people. But the key here is to hold other people accountable for our trust.

37:27 So if we're going to trust somebody, don't just trust them to get to the end of the time that where we allocated for them to do something for us. Check in and say, hey, is there anything I can be doing to help you? We're not micro managing them, but we just want to know is there anything how you're traveling with our deadline? That hold people accountable for you trust. But it's not just the courage, it's this concept of collaborative a sense of collaboration as well. And again, at least I know you've seen this inside of organizations. I see it all the time. We talk about collaboration, but what's really going on is competition. We compete against peers, we compete against our colleagues, we compete against other teams, we compete for budget, we compete. That's not collaboration, and need both of those to help us with our propensities. Trust. The third lens sits above that, which is really what we've been talking a lot about today, and that is our trustworthiness. And that's the combined character, competency, and consistency that we require. And this is the lens to earn others trust.

38:32 See, I can be a person of good character, but if I don't have the competence to do what's required of this person who is expecting me to do something for them, they won't trust me. But the flip of that is the same as well, isn't it. So I can have all the competency, the skills, the knowledge, the resources, the products and services, but if my character the way that I do things is a little out of sync with the values or expectation of the other person, want trust us. And then the third element of that, so we've got character and competency is the consistency within which we live our lives and demonstrate our actions and our behaviors around our character and our competence. So you'll know, people know that they are inconsistent in the way, especially under stress or difficult times.

39:22 They're inconsistent with their emotions, they're inconsistence with the delivery of their competencies, they're inconsistent with their character, and so we need all of these three lenses. And again for the leaders listening in here today, I would really recommend that you talk about trust in those three lenses self trust, trusting others, and earning others trust, and it becomes more workable than to say we've got to build an environment of trust. Okay, so listeners and viewers, let me let me do something to help you pick this out, because deve it once again just delivered the goods here. So now you have a framework that you can now use if somebody's on your team and you can't quite figure out why you don't trust them, why won't you give those assignments? Now he's just given you a framework that you can actually have a conversation with this person to help them better understand what's actually missing why you can't trust them. That is gold, David, Thank you for that. Now. I do have sometimes a tendency to show open my guest doorsteps and then sometimes go wine tasting, so just so you know it could happen. Excellent, and I too like the red wine too. I saw that in your book. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about your intentional steps. To trust. You've got five of them, and I think it bears us being able to kind of introduce them. Yeah. So remember back to my favorite quote of Aristotle, who said our actions and our behaviors our own morals shown in conduct.

40:52 When I read that, it was just after the birth of our second son, Anthony, and it leaked off the page. Our actions and our behavior are our morals shown in conduct. And that's where my path around this exploration of intention and our actions fell into play. And so my language around that is this, people will get your truth that over time, your intentions, your promises, your actions, and your results will either promote you as being trustworthy or expose you as not. And so as I started to use that more and more again in the corporate world, what I realized was there was a model here. I was talking about the steps that elevate us towards trust.

41:39 And so the first step in the steps to trust, intentional trust is this concept of intention, and this again is being really clear about what do we want for others. So again for the leaders, listening in these steps allow you to start to look at how you go about doing your work and whether you're doing it well. And so we start with intention What do we want for our customers, what do we want for our colleagues, what do we want for whoever the other person is. Once we're clear on that, the next step in the intentional steps to trust are our promises, the promises that we make. Now, in the corporate world, we probably don't use the word promises much, but we do use the word commitments. Yes, it's the same thing, sort of. But what we need to be clear of is not just what we can promise other people. We need to be really clear about what we cannot promise other people and to express that to them clearly. In the world of finance, financial advisors who don't let their clients know I can't promise you a positive return every month of the year. If they don't explicitly say that, then the client the investor may assume that they can and then get really upset when the markets what the markets do. So we need to be clear about not just what we can promise, but what we cannot promise, and then that obviously opens up the old adage of you know, promise what you can deliver, and deliver on your promises. So

43:13 that brings in our next step, which is intentional actions. So our intentional actions is being clear about how we're going to go about and what we're going to do to live up to our promises that are based on a clear intention to make life better for other people. Then once we've done our actions, it's so important to look at our results. See if we want intentional results, then our intentional results must be based on intentional actions, which would be based on intentional promises, which are all based on an intention to make life better for someone else in some way. And so they're the first four steps. Now, one of my favorite authors is Henry Cloud, doctor Henry Cloud, and he wrote a book called In Ta Gritty many years ago, and one of my favorite things in his book was that he says, whenever we talk about ethics and moral behavior, we have to talk about results. And that's why the results are an important part of this the intentional steps to trust, because if we're not getting those intentional results, we have to look at ourselves and ask, sure things happen in the world. We can't control everything, but we can control what we do. We can control what we've promised, and we can control what we intend for other people. And so they're the first four steps, and if we complete those, that leads to the fifth step in the intentional trust, the intentional Steps to Trust model, which

44:43 of course is trust itself. And so it's a pretty fast way to go through it, at least, I'm sorry, but again, it's a clear way and framework for leaders to be able to make this idea of trust and trustworthy actions something that we can break down in ways that we can have meaningful conversations about beautiful And I know that was quick, but that was just just the overlay that I was looking for. Now, we just have a couple of minutes left here, but I want to finish with the finale here because the last thing you do in the book, the last chapter, is you've identified twenty five contributing elements to living a good life, and then you've you've got basically ways for the readers to work through those, and that's where you can really make this your own, ladies and gentlemen. So if you could just say a little bit, maybe speak to one or two of those elements, we've only got, like maybe you know, about ninety seconds to handle this, then let me pick on the pick on let me too. The one that I would it's It's spoken a lot about, but of the twenty five and there's a there's not everything that I've covered in my research in positive psychology, but the one that I believe can make all the difference all and that's a big word the difference in our lives is gratitude. It is the most powerful resource that each of us has that when we tap into gratitude, we avoid success traps. When we tap into gratitude, we say what have I got in my life that I can be thankful for? That doesn't mean

46:14 we may not want other things, but to stop and just be grateful. I have a diary note in my diary that comes up every week, what have you been grateful for this week? And it's just a little reminded to be there. And this little pattern interrupt idea of just reminding ourselves of the choices that we make is a really powerful way. Probably to end the conversation, listen, and I would say that if you start to tap into gratitude, being grateful for what you've got. And I know not everybody has everything they need all want I get that, but to start with gratitude it makes life so much easier because as M. Scott Peckbroat in his book life isn't easy. But once we realize and accept that it isn't easy, it gets easy yet, and so gretitude is such a powerful thing for us to be able to have. Well, David, that is a very proper way to finish the program. I am very grateful that my path is across with you.

47:14 You have lifted me. You've given me another perspective, a whole other perspective to really elevate who I want to be in the world, which is all about elevating agency. So thank you. It is a treasure and a pleasure to know you. Thank you for coming on, working on purpose and sharing your heart and your soul. It's my honor. Thank you very much. So, listeners and viewers. If you want to learn more about this amazing man, David Penglaze, his work, or his various books, you can start by visiting his website, which is Davidpennglaze dot com. Let me spell that for you, So, David, D A v I. D. Pen Glaze p E n g l A s E Davidpennglaze dot com. Last week, if you missed the live show, you can always catch it be recorded podcast We were on the air with William vander Bouman, who who's running an executive search and recruiting firm for the last fifteen years and he's learned ten data driven habits that separate the best leaders from the rest. We talked about four of those habits in detail, which he then writes about in his book, Be the Unicorn. Next week will be on the air with doctor ron J. Golotti talking about his ideas in research and helping companies to deeply operationalize purpose throughout their company to achieve new game level results. See you there, and remember work is one of the best adventures and means of realizing our potential we have in making the impact we crave. So let's work on Purpose.

48:29 We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to tune into Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes each week on W four C. Why Together We'll create a world where business operates conscientiously, leadership inspires and passion performance, and employees are fulfilled in work that provides the meaning and purpose they crave. See you there, Let's work on Purpose.