Living in a Whole New World: Making Decisions and Acting in the Full Light of Day

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.399
The topics and opinions express in the
following show are solely those of the hosts

2
00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:06.639
and their guests and not those of
W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates.

3
00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:10.240
We make no recommendations or endorsements radio
show, programs, services, or

4
00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:13.960
products mentioned on air or on our
web. No liability, explicit or implied

5
00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:17.879
shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio
or its employees are affiliates. Any questions

6
00:00:17.960 --> 00:00:21.160
or comments should be directed to those
show hosts. Thank you for choosing W

7
00:00:21.239 --> 00:00:31.679
FOURCY Radio. What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

8
00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:35.560
answer to this question. People ache
for meaning and purpose at work, to

9
00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:40.799
contribute their talents passionately and know their
lives really matter. They crave being part

10
00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:45.479
of an organization that inspires them and
helps them grow into realizing their highest potential.

11
00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:49.479
Business can be such a force for
good in the world, elevating humanity.

12
00:00:49.719 --> 00:00:53.679
In our program, we provide guidance
and inspiration to help usher in this

13
00:00:53.799 --> 00:00:58.679
world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, doctor

14
00:00:58.679 --> 00:01:06.359
Elise Cortes. Welcome back to the
Working on Purpose program, which has been

15
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:08.799
brought to you with passion and pride
since February of twenty fifteen. Thanks for

16
00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:12.079
tuning in again this week. I'm
your host, doctor Elis Cortes. If

17
00:01:12.079 --> 00:01:15.120
we've not met before and you don't
know me, I am a management consultant,

18
00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:19.079
organizational logo therapist, speaker and author. My team and I at gusto

19
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:25.200
Now help companies to enliven and fortify
their operations by articulating purpose and building inspirational

20
00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:29.840
leaders and cultures activated by meaning and
purpose to turn those companies from a flatline

21
00:01:29.840 --> 00:01:34.760
EKG to a vibrant destination workplace.
There people are intrinsically motivated to perform their

22
00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:37.760
best, can grow into their floor
potential, and are committed to stay and

23
00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:41.079
dynamical deliver on the company's mission.
You can learn more about us and now

24
00:01:41.079 --> 00:01:47.079
we can work together at gustodeshnow dot
com or Alascortes dot com. Now getting

25
00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:51.439
into today's program, we have with
us David Penglaze, a behavioral scientist who

26
00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:56.719
works with top tier corporations helping leaders
and their teams achieve success by applying evidence

27
00:01:56.760 --> 00:02:00.560
based strategies and tips from the fields
of applied positives, psychology, professional ethics,

28
00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:06.280
and the science of intentional trust.
Is the author of Intentionomics, the

29
00:02:06.359 --> 00:02:09.560
impact of your intentions on living a
happy, flourishing and prosperous life and the

30
00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:14.479
art and science of building customer trust, how to fast track trust and earn

31
00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:17.919
new, repeat and referral business.
Today we're talking about his latest book,

32
00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:22.520
Living in the Light of Day,
How to avoid this success trap, strive

33
00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:24.919
to be at your best and to
live a more meaningful, flourishing and prosperous

34
00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:29.520
life. He is today from Sydney, Australia. David, welcome to Working

35
00:02:29.560 --> 00:02:32.960
on Purpose. Wonderful to be here, Lise. It's terrific to have you,

36
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:36.520
my friend, and I want to
celebrate. There's a beautiful thing that

37
00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:38.919
you brought into the world. Look
at this, isn't it courgeous? I

38
00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:43.840
see it sitting behind you on your
shelf. But my commendation's lovely work.

39
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:49.080
Thank you so much. It's been
a long time coming and it's really a

40
00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:53.000
lot of life work for me.
So I'm glad you found some good in

41
00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:55.080
it. I did, and I
really want to celebrate it. David.

42
00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:59.599
You know, because of this program, I meet amazing people I wouldn't otherwise

43
00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:04.400
have anybusiness meeting like yourself, and
your words and your work continue to elevate

44
00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:07.199
me. And lift me. And
I think your message in your book is

45
00:03:07.879 --> 00:03:12.199
boy, is this the right time
for that message? I think so.

46
00:03:12.199 --> 00:03:15.520
So I want to start, if
we can, with the whole promise of

47
00:03:15.560 --> 00:03:19.280
your book, and maybe also the
premise of your book. But I'll read

48
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:22.159
what you have here, and I
just think this perfectly situates the conversation that

49
00:03:22.199 --> 00:03:23.560
I want to have with you today. But you say, what if we

50
00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:29.080
lived in a world where intentional deception
did not exist? What if we lived

51
00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:31.520
in a world where people's choices and
actions were based on what is moral,

52
00:03:32.039 --> 00:03:36.719
just, legal, fair, and
transparent. While I realized that it is

53
00:03:36.759 --> 00:03:38.840
almost, if not impossible, there
is a way for you, me and

54
00:03:38.919 --> 00:03:45.000
others to make better and more intentional
choices and actions. What impact might that

55
00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:49.120
might have on our overall sense of
life, satisfaction and success in our professional

56
00:03:49.159 --> 00:03:53.159
and personal lives? I think that
is so powerful. What if we lived

57
00:03:53.159 --> 00:03:57.080
in the full light of day and
acted accordingly? How would our worlds be

58
00:03:57.120 --> 00:04:00.319
different? It'd be something worth all
the even just uponder that for a moment.

59
00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:06.520
You know, we've got so much
noiseless going on in our worlds that

60
00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:14.840
our conscious minds get so cluttered that
these moments of truth, these moments of

61
00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:21.000
choice that we have in our lives
where we have the opportunity we each do

62
00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:28.120
really have, well most of us
have the opportunity to take a moment and

63
00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:32.560
really think deeply about the decisions that
we're about to make, all the actions

64
00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:38.560
we're about to take, and if
we were really thinking about this idea of

65
00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:41.959
the light of day. So let's
just touch on that for a moment.

66
00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:48.680
This is something that when I started
researching what does it mean to be able

67
00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:56.000
to make really good, ethical,
moral, value based decisions? This idea

68
00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:59.879
of if you were to make this
decision or take this action, would you

69
00:05:00.079 --> 00:05:03.319
do that if everybody knew, if
it was held up in the light of

70
00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:10.759
day for all of us to see. And what this does for me is

71
00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:15.360
just bring home we've seen so much. But when you mentioned just is this

72
00:05:15.480 --> 00:05:19.839
the right time? Oh my goodness. We don't have to look very far,

73
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:28.279
do we to see people coming on
camera on traditional or on social news

74
00:05:28.439 --> 00:05:33.519
media where they're apologizing, but what
they're not doing is apologizing for what they

75
00:05:33.560 --> 00:05:40.160
did. They're actually apologizing in hindsight
that they've got caught. That's right,

76
00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:45.639
and not only deception for knowing deception. Yes, yes, So, as

77
00:05:45.639 --> 00:05:48.279
I've written in the book, you
know, there's a big difference between a

78
00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:54.639
genuine unintentional mistake. None of us
is perfect. You know, we all

79
00:05:54.680 --> 00:05:58.600
make mistakes. I know I have
some of them. Some of them have

80
00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:02.680
been you know, have serious consequences. You know, we're all human.

81
00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:12.000
But when we knowingly choose to intentionally
deceive someone, you know, either professional

82
00:06:12.079 --> 00:06:17.240
or in our personal lives, that
choice, if it's been made based on

83
00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:21.839
I hope I don't get caught.
We deserve everything we get right, and

84
00:06:21.959 --> 00:06:29.600
haven't we seen that come back to
Roostfoult so many celebrities, politicians, businesses,

85
00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:34.079
business owners, and just people in
general. Yeah, it's so.

86
00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:39.240
What I also appreciate about your work
is you're really You've written a book that

87
00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:43.120
doesn't just talk about, hey,
we should all really behave ourselves better so

88
00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:46.120
that we can live in a better
world. What I really appreciate about your

89
00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.079
book, David, from my advantage
point, is you situated that as a

90
00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:51.600
possibility that's lovely to live into,
and then though you teach us how to

91
00:06:51.720 --> 00:06:56.079
actually do that. And that's what
I think is so great about your book

92
00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:59.199
is you know you're putting forth this
great promise, but then you're teaching us

93
00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:03.079
skills and behaviors that we can literally
start putting into practice today to live this.

94
00:07:04.120 --> 00:07:10.040
A lot of this is about and
even though it's all steeped in science,

95
00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:15.079
everything's based on evidence based research.
As you would would now know the

96
00:07:16.199 --> 00:07:19.279
problem that we have with this,
and it's a problem that I've struggled with

97
00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:25.040
in my work in the corporate world. But beyond that as well is the

98
00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:34.680
simplicity of choice. Intentional choice can
get lost in people because it really comes

99
00:07:34.680 --> 00:07:39.439
down to would you make this decision
or take this action that you're about to

100
00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:43.839
take or make if your partner knew
about it, if your customers knew about

101
00:07:43.879 --> 00:07:47.600
it, if your colleagues or your
manager knew about it, and if we

102
00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:57.240
just took that time and got really
clear about what we're about to do and

103
00:07:57.279 --> 00:08:01.439
the consequences of that action or that
disease. See, it's all possible,

104
00:08:01.639 --> 00:08:07.519
and that's what does excite me.
I am a realist. I'm an optimist,

105
00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:11.480
but I'm a realist. My capacity
to change the world is pretty limited.

106
00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:18.759
However, each of us, individually, if we just did make let

107
00:08:18.839 --> 00:08:22.000
me just share this with you,
lissing my wife in fact, we've just

108
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:30.360
had our thirty ninth wedding anniversary.
We've got two sons, Maddie and Anthony.

109
00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:33.679
And from the time that they were
able to leave our house, one

110
00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:39.320
of the bits of advice that we
would give them, sons, Yeah,

111
00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:43.600
thank you, make good decisions,
right, you're good at this. I

112
00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:46.480
read your book, darling, you
are so good at this. And what

113
00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:52.360
was beautiful was when they got to
teenagers and they started bringing their friends home

114
00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:56.440
to us. They would all leave
as a bunch, not Matthew or Anthony,

115
00:08:56.480 --> 00:09:01.720
my sons, but one or two
of the other guy would they turn

116
00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:05.399
around, Hey, mister and missus, b we're gonna make good decisions now,

117
00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:07.960
I can tell you. But I
can tell you at least they didn't

118
00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:11.559
always, as none of us did
at that age too, but they got

119
00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:16.799
the message. And this is this
is really the heart of this book.

120
00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:22.600
It's not an evangelistic book. It's
not a moral sledge hammer book. It's

121
00:09:22.600 --> 00:09:26.159
a book simply to say, we
got the opportunity here, and what a

122
00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:30.919
difference we can make, at least
in our own world. Because what we

123
00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:37.080
know from the science is when we
do make better intentional decisions that make the

124
00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:41.960
world better for those around us.
Not only is it good for us and

125
00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:46.399
good for the other people, it's
good for the community within which whether we

126
00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:50.200
work or we interact in this is
this is the true ripple effect that we

127
00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:54.320
can have as human beings. It
sounds, it sounds out there woo woo,

128
00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:56.840
but it's not. It's all based
in science. Not for me,

129
00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:01.679
young man, Not for me,
because now's up into the whole space that

130
00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:05.320
I love, and that's called mattering. Right. We all want to matter,

131
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:07.879
and so you're giving us a way
to amplify our way to matter.

132
00:10:07.919 --> 00:10:11.399
That's the way I see it.
Yeah, when I read about you and

133
00:10:11.480 --> 00:10:15.000
got introduced to you, at least
one of the first things that I loved

134
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:20.759
with this concept of mattering. Wow, that's a really because what we know

135
00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:26.000
and pre COVID and post COVID,
what we know is that each of us

136
00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:31.720
had opportunities, especially through COVID,
to start to think about what does really

137
00:10:31.799 --> 00:10:35.720
matter in our lives. And so
it's a great time for us to take

138
00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:41.360
a breath and to become more intentional. And I'm thinking we'll explore what we

139
00:10:41.480 --> 00:10:46.320
mean by that when you're ready to
do that, and indeed we will.

140
00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:48.759
But before we do, I want
to set something up that I think is

141
00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:52.919
really important for our listeners, and
it's really central in the title of your

142
00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:56.440
book, and that's this thing called
a success trap. And I think it's

143
00:10:56.799 --> 00:11:01.200
important that we talk about what that
is and why that becomes problematic, especially

144
00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.399
when it comes to living in the
lative day. Yeah, this is something

145
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:13.320
that I've been really aware of for
most of my adult life. That the

146
00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:20.240
world for whatever reason. My hunch
is that it's driven by marketing and advertising,

147
00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:28.480
but it's it set us up to
believe that we need to have more,

148
00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:33.440
want more, be more, do
more, and that we judge ourselves

149
00:11:35.960 --> 00:11:39.840
and our own mattering if you like, our own sense of self worth.

150
00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:45.639
We judge ourselves based on others,
and that's the real success trap. But

151
00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:48.159
it's more than just social comparison,
although that's a big part of it.

152
00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:54.600
The success trap is when we base
our belief about how successful we are in

153
00:11:54.639 --> 00:12:01.360
life by whatever definition we have of
that. But that definition is being based

154
00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:07.039
on what others either define success as
or expect of us. And the trap

155
00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:13.559
in that is that if we get
caught up in for me to be successful,

156
00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:16.080
I've got to climb the corporate ladder. For me to be successful,

157
00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:18.440
I've got to earn this amount of
money. For me to be successful,

158
00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:22.480
I have to live in this type
of house, in this type of neighborhood,

159
00:12:22.559 --> 00:12:26.000
with this kind of card, with
these labeled clothes, with all of

160
00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:30.080
the best words and gangs and all
the things that we need to have.

161
00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:33.080
I just said words and gangs.
I have no idea what that meant.

162
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:37.440
But what I meant was the things
that go, you know, bing,

163
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:43.759
and all the electrics and stuff.
And if we want all of that and

164
00:12:43.799 --> 00:12:48.639
we get lost in this wanting,
then we lose our way as to what

165
00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:54.879
really matters in our life. And
Lizzie and I we made this decision really

166
00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:58.879
early in our piece when we first
got married, and we asked ourselves this

167
00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:03.240
question. And I've been challenged on
this by so many people, but here

168
00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:09.720
we are, thirty nine years later, very very happy, and the thing

169
00:13:09.720 --> 00:13:16.080
that we asked ourselves was how much
was enough? Yeah, Because I'm not

170
00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:20.080
saying success is bad, because it
isn't. I am successful in my definition,

171
00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:24.639
and it doesn't matter what that definition
means to anybody else. I'm really

172
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:30.360
clear on that. But I've been
caught up in this success and was able

173
00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:33.519
to pull myself out of it,
and Lizzie and I we live a good

174
00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:37.799
life. So what I'm not saying
is don't be successful, but be successful

175
00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:45.000
based on your definition, not on
what others expect of you and what the

176
00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:50.519
market is drive this world. To
know in the consumerism driven world that we're

177
00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:56.279
in, that we actually don't need
to continually upgrade all the time. Don't

178
00:13:56.279 --> 00:14:01.559
get me wrong, I've got good
stuff. It's at the right time for

179
00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:05.039
the right reasons, right, and
it's never to keep up with the giants

180
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:09.360
is yeah, yeah, and then
they are yeah, whoever those people are.

181
00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:11.759
So the other thing that I want
to call out for our listeners of

182
00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:13.759
yours, because this is something we
do talk about in this this program here,

183
00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:18.559
what I appreciate about what you distinguish
in your book is is what's the

184
00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:22.600
downside of a success trap? You
say, the success traps in the workplace

185
00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:28.799
settings cause people to avoid acknowledging unfair
or unethical behavior, and they also create

186
00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:33.159
toxic work cultures. So that's where
you get so, you know, dialed

187
00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:35.480
into I want this thing that I'm
going to overlook. I just saw the

188
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:39.320
CEO, you know, extort somebody. But I'm not going to say anything

189
00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:43.200
because I'm riding a good train here. That's why one of the reasons success

190
00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:48.159
traps are so scary and fraught with
difficulty. There's anyway, So if you

191
00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:50.639
could speak just a little bit to
the downside to that piece of it.

192
00:14:52.279 --> 00:14:56.399
The pressure the president is put on
people when they bought into the success trap

193
00:14:56.320 --> 00:15:01.320
that it becomes a herd mentality.
And we've seen this, You and I

194
00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:07.120
and all the listeners and viewers have
seen this happen. A good example that

195
00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:11.320
I actually do talk about in the
book is this whole Wolf of Wall Street

196
00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:18.639
concept where I don't mention the name
on audio or camera, but you know,

197
00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.840
people will know who I'm talking about. But here's the thing that worried

198
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:28.200
me about when when someone Embezil's people
out of their money, when they when

199
00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:31.559
they common or or whatever, that
there were so many people that knew what

200
00:15:31.639 --> 00:15:35.720
was going on, and they let
it just happen and kind of think,

201
00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:39.039
well that I was just doing my
job. Well, we don't need to

202
00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:43.720
go down to ethical teaching here,
but you know, washing your hands of

203
00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:48.720
your moral duty it doesn't doesn't make
this world a better place. But here's

204
00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:56.120
the here's the issue with this in
the workplace, especially when we collectively from

205
00:15:56.159 --> 00:16:00.960
from the CEO and all the way
down on the board, when we collectively

206
00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:07.639
continually ask ourselves is this the right
thing? Not? Will we be caught?

207
00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:12.559
Then it's got to be better for
not just the business, but for

208
00:16:12.600 --> 00:16:19.120
the customers, the stakeholders. Because
back in two thousand and nineteen over here

209
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:23.399
in Australia we had a lot of
Royal commissions into banking and finance and superannuation,

210
00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:27.840
all these kinds of things, and
people were asking me, because it's

211
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:32.960
where I rest in the corporate world, you know, how do we rebuild

212
00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:36.360
trust? Well, if you have
to ask that question, it's a little

213
00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:41.879
bit late, isn't it. What
have you done to cause trust to be

214
00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:47.440
broken? And so the other difficulty
though all these and I know you know

215
00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:52.159
this, is that it takes a
lot of courage to speak up, especially

216
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:57.840
as a solo person. Wow.
Yes, indeed, And for that reason,

217
00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:03.240
what I'm not saying is that I
judge anyone who doesn't. But we

218
00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:08.200
need to create workplaces where people feel
safe enough when something is a right in

219
00:17:08.279 --> 00:17:12.759
whatever way it is, to at
least get curious about it and to ask

220
00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:17.519
ourselves not are we doing the right
or wrong thing? Although that's a great

221
00:17:17.559 --> 00:17:21.680
place to start. If we do
this, or we continue to do this,

222
00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:26.960
what consequences are we creating for others? So we become so insulated either

223
00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:30.279
thinking about our own role or our
own self as a leader, or our

224
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:37.680
own team, or our own division
or our own organization, that we forget

225
00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:41.599
everything that we do, in one
way or another will impact other people.

226
00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:45.559
And if we take it away from
ourselves and think, how do we create

227
00:17:45.559 --> 00:17:49.039
the world a bit better for other
people? Knowing that the science proves to

228
00:17:49.160 --> 00:17:55.599
us that doing good for others means
good comes back to us that whole reciprocity

229
00:17:55.640 --> 00:18:02.599
thing. Again, it's such a
simple motion, but it comes down to

230
00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:04.319
this moment of truth, this moment
of choice. Will I make the right

231
00:18:04.359 --> 00:18:10.160
decision on that note, Let's grab
our first break, lend our listeners and

232
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:11.759
viewers just chew on that a little
bit. I'm your host, doctor,

233
00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:15.599
release Cortez. We've got on near
with David Penglaze. He's a behavioral scientist

234
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.720
who works with top tier corporations,
helping leaders and their teams to achieve success

235
00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:25.559
by applying evidence based strategies and tips
from the fields of applied positive psychology,

236
00:18:25.799 --> 00:18:29.440
professional ethics, and the science of
intentional trust. We've been getting into the

237
00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:32.839
importance of what's under his book.
After this next break, we're going to

238
00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:36.400
get into just how we can work
with intention. Stay with us, We'll

239
00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:56.480
be right back. Doctor release Cortez
is a management consultant specializing in meaning and

240
00:18:56.519 --> 00:19:00.599
purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps company's visioneer for greater purpose

241
00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:07.240
among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

242
00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:11.720
performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite Elise

243
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:15.440
to speak to your organization, please
visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's

244
00:19:15.480 --> 00:19:25.799
talk about how to get your employees
working on purpose. This is working on

245
00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:30.160
Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To
reach our program today or to open a

246
00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:37.079
conversation with Elise, send an email
to Alise A Lisee at eliscortes dot com.

247
00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:45.440
Now back to working on purpose.
Thanks for stating with us, and

248
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:48.480
welcome back to working on purpose.
I'm your host, doctor Atlise Cortes.

249
00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:52.200
Like David, I too, am
committed to be able to creating a world

250
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:53.599
where we all want to live and
be our best. So I keep reading

251
00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:57.119
my own books. The last one
came out in March of twenty twenty three.

252
00:19:57.480 --> 00:20:02.039
It's really a book for leaders,
is to help them understand today's workforce,

253
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:04.039
how it's actually really radically changed,
and how they can actually create a

254
00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:08.319
culture to be able to address that. It's it's called the Great Revitalization.

255
00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:11.839
How activating meaning and purpose can radically
enliven your business. You can find it

256
00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:15.440
on Amazon or my website at least
qore test dot com if you are just

257
00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:18.559
joining me. My guest is David
Penglase. He's the author of Living in

258
00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:22.759
the Light of Day. How to
Avoid the Success Trap, Strive to be

259
00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:26.759
your best and live a more meaningful, flourishing and prosperous, prosperous life.

260
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:32.680
Sounds good to me. I'm in. So one of the things that I

261
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:36.240
think is really important about your work
and the message you're putting in this book

262
00:20:36.240 --> 00:20:38.960
here, David, is this notion
of how to use this intentionality. So

263
00:20:40.039 --> 00:20:41.960
can you situate for us a little
bit more about just how it is you

264
00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:52.440
situate that particular notion. So intention, most people's understanding of intention is what

265
00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:57.559
we intend to do and that's that's
pretty much what it is. How when

266
00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:06.240
I when I started reason searching,
part of positive psychology all around this concept

267
00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:11.720
of altruism. And the problem when
I talk about altruism is most people just

268
00:21:11.799 --> 00:21:15.880
jump to role models of altruism.
Mother Terras are Gandhi and the Likes and

269
00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:22.119
most of us. And you know, I've got to admit here, there's

270
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:26.200
no way that I'm going to get
to that level. I'm a red here.

271
00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:34.480
But as I was researching this concept
of altruism, this intention became such

272
00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:38.880
an powerful part of my research.
There was a book written back in the

273
00:21:38.920 --> 00:21:45.440
fifties by Elizabeth Anscom and it was
called Intension, the toughest book I've ever

274
00:21:45.480 --> 00:21:48.880
read in my life. It's a
philosophical treatise and it was really tough,

275
00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:52.119
but it was the biggest work since
Aristotle around this concept of intention. And

276
00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:56.559
one of the things that she said
in this book back in the fifties was,

277
00:21:56.599 --> 00:22:00.640
whenever we think about intention, we
have to have a concept of why

278
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:06.400
why are we doing what we do? Now we can fast forward to the

279
00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:11.319
modern day, and of course Simon
Senex made that whole concept are quite you

280
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.599
know, world renowned. You know
this we need to think about know why

281
00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:18.920
we do what we do. However, intention is more than just understanding why

282
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:26.039
we're going to do it. Intention
has to have a clear and mindful understanding

283
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:30.519
of when we do what we're about
to do, not only why we're going

284
00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:34.799
to do it, but the impact
that it will have on others, not

285
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:45.440
just on ourselves. And this is
where my research became so important because it

286
00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:49.799
kind of just makes sense, and
some people would ask, why did you

287
00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:53.519
need to do research into this,
but no one had done this before.

288
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.359
If we have a positive intention for
others, Let's say, if we have

289
00:22:59.359 --> 00:23:03.880
a positive tension for our customers,
that we're really clear on what we want

290
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:11.240
for them, not what we want
from them, and then we mindfully do

291
00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:17.440
something about that on a regular basis
to live up to our promise or our

292
00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:22.839
intention. Not only is it good
for the customer, obviously, because we're

293
00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:27.039
making their life better, but what
the research showed was that it was good

294
00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:33.319
for us, the person that's doing
the good deed on purpose, because it

295
00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:38.319
gives us a stronger sense of autonomy, a strongest sense that we are in

296
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:44.319
control of at least that in our
lives we can make good choices that matter

297
00:23:44.440 --> 00:23:51.000
to other people. I find that
not just from a behavioral scientist's point of

298
00:23:51.079 --> 00:23:53.599
view, but just from a human
beings point of view. Isn't that a

299
00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:59.519
lovely concept? That if we really
want to know what the meaning of life

300
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:03.039
is, I've got no idea.
But how do we bring more meaning into

301
00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:08.319
our lives? We become more meaningful, full of meaning when we start to

302
00:24:08.359 --> 00:24:12.079
focus on what we want for other
people, not just what we want for

303
00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:18.319
ourselves. Now that's not to say
that it's not important to think about what

304
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:25.480
do we want for ourselves. We
are our relationship with ourselves is as important,

305
00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:29.240
and so we need to be clear
about that. But usually what we

306
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:36.160
want for ourselves happens more when we
focus on what we want for others,

307
00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:40.200
not what we want from them,
And that comes down leads to whether we're

308
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:42.599
in our relationship with someone else,
in our personal lives, with our children,

309
00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:45.799
what do we want for our children? Not what do we want from

310
00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:48.839
them? What do we expect of
them? What do we want for our

311
00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:51.000
partner? What do we want for
our customers? What do we want for

312
00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:53.599
our colleagues? If I'm a leader, what do I want for my team?

313
00:24:55.279 --> 00:25:00.400
This changes the way we think about
our actions. There's a wonderful quote

314
00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:07.839
from Aristotle that I have in the
book that pretty much changed my path in

315
00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:12.640
the research. And the quote was, we are the some of our actions.

316
00:25:15.079 --> 00:25:18.240
Therefore our habits make all the difference. See in our habits of those

317
00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:25.119
learned automatic sequences of behavior that we
all have. And if we inspect and

318
00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:29.640
we don't do enough of this in
our lives, reflect back at the end

319
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:33.400
of every week. So what do
we do? And if we did that

320
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:37.400
a little bit more, there's so
many lessons to look out. Or was

321
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:41.279
I just acting in habit? Was
I just going through the motions? Or

322
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:48.319
was I more intentional more often?
And Aristotle finishes his statement with this,

323
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:56.160
our actions and our behaviors are our
morals shown in conduct. I love that

324
00:25:55.799 --> 00:25:59.720
that quotes it up for me as
well, for the same reason everything we

325
00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:03.200
say, everything we do since loud
and clear messages to the world about who

326
00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:07.359
we are and what we represent.
And we can change the word morals in

327
00:26:07.400 --> 00:26:11.039
that our actions and our behaviors are
our morals shown in conduct. We can

328
00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:15.519
change that to our values shown in
conduct. And I would recommend to any

329
00:26:15.640 --> 00:26:19.880
leader listening in today, uh that
that what a wonderful thing to be able

330
00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:26.000
to table in your next team meeting
that our actions and our behaviors are our

331
00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:32.440
corporate value shown in action everything creatibility. Yeah, thank you, thank you.

332
00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:36.079
I'd like to claim it, but
it was Aristotles. Well you can

333
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:38.920
share it a little bit of stage
with them anyway. Well, so this

334
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:41.920
is that what you just rendered their
debt was so ex because listeners and viewers

335
00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:45.400
you're going to want to go back
and replay that because there is so much

336
00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:48.079
and what you just gave us.
Well, now what I want to do,

337
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:51.400
David is and foreigners and viewers they
know if they've been coming for a

338
00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:53.640
while, that we both inspire and
educate on this show. So I would

339
00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:57.160
like to give people something that they
can literally walk away within you. So

340
00:26:57.160 --> 00:27:04.079
what I want to do next is
have you walk through there's four questions that

341
00:27:04.119 --> 00:27:07.440
you put in your book to help
any of us decide if, in the

342
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:11.119
light of the day, we are
to proceed with any decision or action.

343
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:14.279
I think this is incredibly useful,
So let's go through each one. I

344
00:27:14.359 --> 00:27:17.279
have them queued up here, but
if you know them in order, I

345
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:19.240
just want to have you just talk
through briefly each one of them so they

346
00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:22.240
can get their arms around it and
be able to use it when they get

347
00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:30.799
off this era. So of the
four, all of them rest on this

348
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:36.119
one. Okay, So they're all
just variations of them. So the light

349
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:41.359
of day test in the way that
I ask it or use it in my

350
00:27:41.480 --> 00:27:45.839
life and in the corporate world I'm
consulting. Is this with this decision or

351
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:51.039
this action, would I make it
if it were held up in the light

352
00:27:51.079 --> 00:27:52.720
of day for all to see?
So that's the base. If you're right,

353
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:56.920
yes, then we can start to
play around with it and become more

354
00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:03.000
specific out with this decision I'm about
to make. All this action I'm about

355
00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:08.000
to take, will it? Will
it promote me towards being a better person?

356
00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:15.880
Will it? Will it help other
people? Will it make the world

357
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:18.720
a better place? Now these aren't
exactly what I've written in the book,

358
00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:23.279
but I just like to vary them
because I don't want people to think these

359
00:28:23.319 --> 00:28:30.839
are the only questions that I need
to make. Will will this action or

360
00:28:30.880 --> 00:28:37.319
this decision I'm about to make?
Will the consequences determine? Will they lay

361
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:41.559
well with other people? So start
with the base. What I would recommend

362
00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:48.079
to the listeners and viewers. Is
it that once you get clear that it's

363
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:52.400
your getting back to Aristotle, that
it's your actions and your behaviors shown in

364
00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:55.119
conduct, in other words, what
we do, then we need to be

365
00:28:55.160 --> 00:28:59.519
asking ourselves with this decision or this
action or this behavior that I'm about to

366
00:28:59.559 --> 00:29:03.519
do, and is it moving me
towards being my best self? Is it

367
00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:07.480
helping other people? Will it help
us achieve the goal that we're trying to

368
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:11.400
achieve, knowing that there will always
be consequences and are we aware of what

369
00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:15.119
they are? So it's starting at
least with this base concept of living in

370
00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:18.920
the light of day. If people
knew about it, is it a good

371
00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:22.720
decision? Am I going to be
proud of it? Well? It make

372
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:27.519
me a better person. So they're
the variations at lease of that one core

373
00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:33.279
light of day test if you like, and again what I like about it

374
00:29:33.319 --> 00:29:36.720
and want to reinforce for our listeners
and viewers is imagine if you actually went

375
00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:40.240
through this exercise on a regular basis
for the decisions you were about to make,

376
00:29:40.279 --> 00:29:44.480
the actions you're about to take.
I think it would radically elevate the

377
00:29:44.599 --> 00:29:48.160
quality of your life, your lives
and your relationships and your results. So

378
00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:52.039
this is really really I think it's
really You can tell I'm slightly sold in

379
00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:59.240
what you're doing here. Well,
again, it's such a simple concept,

380
00:29:59.319 --> 00:30:02.839
you know. I've got when the
kids were growing up, we had them

381
00:30:02.839 --> 00:30:06.400
in the back seat and we would
hear them ask Dad, what speed are

382
00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:11.960
you going? And so now they're
not in the back seat, do I

383
00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:19.400
just start speeding or do I hold
myself accountable for the speed limit? Again,

384
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:23.240
it's such a simple notion. And
this is not all goody two shoe

385
00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:27.880
stuff. That's not what this is
about. It's holding ourselves accountable and responsible

386
00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:33.079
for the decisions that we make and
the actions that we take, knowing that

387
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:37.799
we will make mistakes. It's just
part of being human. But a mistake

388
00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:42.440
unintentionally made does not breach trust.
It can do a little damage, but

389
00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:48.640
it's not unmendible if that's all.
But if we intentionally do it, we

390
00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:56.359
choose to make a deceptive decision or
action, then trust is really hard to

391
00:30:56.440 --> 00:31:02.200
bring back. Agreed, All right, let's grab our last break. I'm

392
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:04.000
your host, doctor Release Cortes,
who go to the air with David Penglase.

393
00:31:04.039 --> 00:31:07.440
He's a behavioral scientist who works with
top tier corporations, helping leaders and

394
00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:11.799
their teams achieve success by applying evidence
based strategies and tips from the fields of

395
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:17.400
applied positive psychology, professional ethics,
and the science of intentional trust. We

396
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:22.359
got in deep in here into really
how we can utilize intentionality. After the

397
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:26.039
break, we're going to really cover
heavy. He's got a triangle of three

398
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:29.599
trusts and also intentional steps to trust
that we're going to walk you through deal

399
00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:48.240
with. This will be right back. Doctor Release Cortes is a management consultant

400
00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:52.279
specializing in meaning and purpose. An
inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies

401
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:59.119
visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and
develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures

402
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:04.039
that elevate full film performance and commitment
within the workforce. To learn more or

403
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:07.720
to invite Elise to speak to your
organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot

404
00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:17.200
com. Let's talk about how to
get your employees working on purpose. This

405
00:32:17.359 --> 00:32:22.759
is working on purpose with doctor Elise
Cortes. To reach our program today or

406
00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:29.279
to open a conversation with Elise,
send an email to Elise ALISEE at eliscortes

407
00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:37.720
dot com. Now back to working
on purpose. Interesting with us and welcome

408
00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:40.839
back to working on Purpose. I'm
your host, doctor Elise Cortes. One

409
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:44.279
of the piece of news that i
want to share with you. I've stumbled

410
00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:47.200
on this fantastic conference and I'll be
attending thanks to hearing about it from Paul

411
00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:51.880
Skinner, who's been on this program
a couple of times in London and Dominic

412
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:58.160
Courage. So it's called Humanitarian Exchange. It's February twentieth next year. You

413
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:01.559
can you can attend in person or
it's in London. And the whole idea

414
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:07.440
here is they're building this event series
and digital community here through this thing called

415
00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:10.279
Humanitarian Exchange. And the idea is
is they're bringing together, in the face

416
00:33:10.319 --> 00:33:15.599
of all these escalating global crisis driven
by climate and conflict, this Exchange and

417
00:33:15.640 --> 00:33:22.039
they're aiming to mobilize a million strong
new generation of humanitarians for a new humanitarian

418
00:33:22.079 --> 00:33:24.400
are era. So this is like
amazing. And so here's the great thing.

419
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:29.039
What their call is and that's why
I'm involved, is their call is

420
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:31.720
to challenge our generation and everyone that's
part of it to play and they want

421
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:37.599
purpose driven organizations and individuals across society
to meet in this exchange, and that's

422
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:42.519
why I'm going. So you can
find it by going to Humanitarian Exchange dot

423
00:33:42.599 --> 00:33:46.079
org. There's no E in exchange, so Humanitarian exchange dot org you can

424
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:53.240
register with the code hx priority all
caps hx das priority to prioritize your in

425
00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:59.000
person or online place in this thanks
to being part of this podcast listenership,

426
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:01.400
So come with me where it's going
to be amazing if you are just joining

427
00:34:01.480 --> 00:34:04.920
us today. My guest is David
pen Blaze. He is the author of

428
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:07.320
Living in the Light of Day,
How to avoid the Success Trap, strive

429
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.679
to be your best and live a
more meaningful, flourishing and prosperous life,

430
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:15.079
which is amazing. I read it, of course cover to cover. So

431
00:34:15.320 --> 00:34:17.880
now, David, we've covered intentionality
really here quite well. I think I

432
00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:21.679
want to move on to trust,
and you have this really amazing Yeah.

433
00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:22.679
I love the way you use models
in your book, by the way,

434
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:30.159
but the triangle of three trusts,
let's talk about that next. So trust

435
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:35.400
and I do use models, and
one of the reasons is that to break

436
00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:38.360
big concepts down. Yeah, it
just makes it easier for us to understand

437
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:45.039
learn And so this model, if
you can think about it. It's an

438
00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:50.559
inverted triangle, and it's inverted triangle
for a reason that there's the pointing end

439
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:52.559
is on the bottom, and the
batter end, if you like, is

440
00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:57.559
on the top, and the pointy
end if we don't get it right,

441
00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:02.360
and the point end is our self
trust. And so I break trust down

442
00:35:02.840 --> 00:35:07.000
into three lenses. And so the
first lens is this self trust, and

443
00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:10.599
it's the pointing end of this inverted
triangle because if you think about the triangle,

444
00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:15.960
if self trust isn't right, everything
else starts to waiver. And so

445
00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:20.480
with self trust, there's the number
of things and way too much for us

446
00:35:20.519 --> 00:35:24.039
to go into this today. But
self trust one way to look at this

447
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:28.320
is that it's the confidence that we
have in who we are, what we

448
00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:32.000
are, and why we are.
But it's also the sense of control that

449
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:38.800
we have our self control. And
this is where the idea of holding ourselves

450
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:45.480
accountable for our actions and our behaviors
become so important. So self trust.

451
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:50.519
But again, most of us would
admit that we're human, we will make

452
00:35:50.599 --> 00:35:54.599
mistakes, and self trust is about
and I asked this of audiences, you

453
00:35:54.599 --> 00:35:58.840
know, do you trust yourself?
And everybody puts their hand up and say,

454
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:00.880
well, of course we do.
But then most people will also readily

455
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:07.320
say yes, but I know that
I've let myself down on occasion. I've

456
00:36:07.320 --> 00:36:09.559
either not had that conversation that I
needed to have, I haven't done the

457
00:36:09.559 --> 00:36:14.159
exercise that I needed to do.
Maybe I drank that extra glass of wine

458
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:17.519
or bottle that I shouldn't have done, or whatever. So we're all human,

459
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:24.079
but that sense of self trust pulls
everything else together. And the next

460
00:36:24.199 --> 00:36:30.920
lens, which sits above that,
is our propensity to trust in other people.

461
00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:37.880
And this takes courage. When we
think of courage, we often think

462
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:40.000
of, you know, save the
world type of courage, but that's not

463
00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:45.280
what I'm talking about here. It's
the courage to know that when I do

464
00:36:45.400 --> 00:36:51.400
place my trust in someone, there's
a risk attached to that, and there

465
00:36:51.400 --> 00:36:54.039
could be a range of risks.
And what I see a lot of people

466
00:36:54.119 --> 00:36:58.440
do is that they choose not to
trust other people, that they just do

467
00:36:58.519 --> 00:37:00.800
it themselves, especially in the corporate
world. And what we see, at

468
00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:05.199
least you would have seen this that
they take more and more on themselves because

469
00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:07.320
they can do it quicker, they
can do it better, so they don't

470
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:12.920
trust other people. And then that
person becomes overwhelmed because they're time poor and

471
00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:15.039
they get exhausted. And that's when
you know, we have all the problems

472
00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:20.360
with mental illness and stress and anxiety, and so we need to trust other

473
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:25.239
people. But the key here is
to hold other people accountable for our trust.

474
00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:29.639
So if we're going to trust somebody, don't just trust them to get

475
00:37:29.639 --> 00:37:32.199
to the end of the time that
where we allocated for them to do something

476
00:37:32.239 --> 00:37:36.920
for us. Check in and say, hey, is there anything I can

477
00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:39.800
be doing to help you? We're
not micro managing them, but we just

478
00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:45.360
want to know is there anything how
you're traveling with our deadline? That hold

479
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:50.800
people accountable for you trust. But
it's not just the courage, it's this

480
00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:54.320
concept of collaborative a sense of collaboration
as well. And again, at least

481
00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:58.400
I know you've seen this inside of
organizations. I see it all the time.

482
00:37:58.719 --> 00:38:01.280
We talk about collaboration, but what's
really going on is competition. We

483
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:06.159
compete against peers, we compete against
our colleagues, we compete against other teams,

484
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.800
we compete for budget, we compete. That's not collaboration, and need

485
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:15.159
both of those to help us with
our propensities. Trust. The third lens

486
00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:19.400
sits above that, which is really
what we've been talking a lot about today,

487
00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:24.840
and that is our trustworthiness. And
that's the combined character, competency,

488
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:32.000
and consistency that we require. And
this is the lens to earn others trust.

489
00:38:32.199 --> 00:38:35.440
See, I can be a person
of good character, but if I

490
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:39.360
don't have the competence to do what's
required of this person who is expecting me

491
00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:43.880
to do something for them, they
won't trust me. But the flip of

492
00:38:43.960 --> 00:38:45.159
that is the same as well,
isn't it. So I can have all

493
00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:50.159
the competency, the skills, the
knowledge, the resources, the products and

494
00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:54.679
services, but if my character the
way that I do things is a little

495
00:38:55.599 --> 00:39:00.559
out of sync with the values or
expectation of the other person, want trust

496
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:02.880
us. And then the third element
of that, so we've got character and

497
00:39:02.920 --> 00:39:09.159
competency is the consistency within which we
live our lives and demonstrate our actions and

498
00:39:09.159 --> 00:39:15.960
our behaviors around our character and our
competence. So you'll know, people know

499
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:22.920
that they are inconsistent in the way, especially under stress or difficult times.

500
00:39:22.239 --> 00:39:28.119
They're inconsistent with their emotions, they're
inconsistence with the delivery of their competencies,

501
00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:32.239
they're inconsistent with their character, and
so we need all of these three lenses.

502
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:38.440
And again for the leaders listening in
here today, I would really recommend

503
00:39:38.480 --> 00:39:45.159
that you talk about trust in those
three lenses self trust, trusting others,

504
00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:50.920
and earning others trust, and it
becomes more workable than to say we've got

505
00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:55.360
to build an environment of trust.
Okay, so listeners and viewers, let

506
00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:59.199
me let me do something to help
you pick this out, because deve it

507
00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:02.800
once again just delivered the goods here. So now you have a framework that

508
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:06.719
you can now use if somebody's on
your team and you can't quite figure out

509
00:40:06.760 --> 00:40:08.800
why you don't trust them, why
won't you give those assignments? Now he's

510
00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:12.679
just given you a framework that you
can actually have a conversation with this person

511
00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:15.800
to help them better understand what's actually
missing why you can't trust them. That

512
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:20.719
is gold, David, Thank you
for that. Now. I do have

513
00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:23.760
sometimes a tendency to show open my
guest doorsteps and then sometimes go wine tasting,

514
00:40:23.800 --> 00:40:30.159
so just so you know it could
happen. Excellent, and I too

515
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:32.880
like the red wine too. I
saw that in your book. Okay,

516
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:37.519
so let's talk a little bit about
your intentional steps. To trust. You've

517
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:42.280
got five of them, and I
think it bears us being able to kind

518
00:40:42.280 --> 00:40:49.039
of introduce them. Yeah. So
remember back to my favorite quote of Aristotle,

519
00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:52.679
who said our actions and our behaviors
our own morals shown in conduct.

520
00:40:52.679 --> 00:40:55.480
When I read that, it was
just after the birth of our second son,

521
00:40:55.599 --> 00:40:59.960
Anthony, and it leaked off the
page. Our actions and our behavior

522
00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:05.880
are our morals shown in conduct.
And that's where my path around this exploration

523
00:41:05.960 --> 00:41:09.559
of intention and our actions fell into
play. And so my language around that

524
00:41:10.199 --> 00:41:17.840
is this, people will get your
truth that over time, your intentions,

525
00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:23.239
your promises, your actions, and
your results will either promote you as being

526
00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:30.880
trustworthy or expose you as not.
And so as I started to use that

527
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:35.039
more and more again in the corporate
world, what I realized was there was

528
00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:39.119
a model here. I was talking
about the steps that elevate us towards trust.

529
00:41:39.960 --> 00:41:45.239
And so the first step in the
steps to trust, intentional trust is

530
00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:51.119
this concept of intention, and this
again is being really clear about what do

531
00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:57.000
we want for others. So again
for the leaders, listening in these steps

532
00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:00.639
allow you to start to look at
how you go about doing your work and

533
00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:04.760
whether you're doing it well. And
so we start with intention What do we

534
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:07.880
want for our customers, what do
we want for our colleagues, what do

535
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:12.679
we want for whoever the other person
is. Once we're clear on that,

536
00:42:13.159 --> 00:42:17.199
the next step in the intentional steps
to trust are our promises, the promises

537
00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:21.039
that we make. Now, in
the corporate world, we probably don't use

538
00:42:21.079 --> 00:42:24.719
the word promises much, but we
do use the word commitments. Yes,

539
00:42:24.920 --> 00:42:30.000
it's the same thing, sort of. But what we need to be clear

540
00:42:30.079 --> 00:42:34.320
of is not just what we can
promise other people. We need to be

541
00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:38.039
really clear about what we cannot promise
other people and to express that to them

542
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:43.960
clearly. In the world of finance, financial advisors who don't let their clients

543
00:42:44.039 --> 00:42:47.960
know I can't promise you a positive
return every month of the year. If

544
00:42:47.960 --> 00:42:57.119
they don't explicitly say that, then
the client the investor may assume that they

545
00:42:57.199 --> 00:43:00.760
can and then get really upset when
the markets what the markets do. So

546
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:04.559
we need to be clear about not
just what we can promise, but what

547
00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:09.800
we cannot promise, and then that
obviously opens up the old adage of you

548
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:13.119
know, promise what you can deliver, and deliver on your promises. So

549
00:43:13.199 --> 00:43:17.440
that brings in our next step,
which is intentional actions. So our intentional

550
00:43:17.559 --> 00:43:23.320
actions is being clear about how we're
going to go about and what we're going

551
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:28.360
to do to live up to our
promises that are based on a clear intention

552
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:31.599
to make life better for other people. Then once we've done our actions,

553
00:43:31.639 --> 00:43:37.679
it's so important to look at our
results. See if we want intentional results,

554
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:44.679
then our intentional results must be based
on intentional actions, which would be

555
00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:47.599
based on intentional promises, which are
all based on an intention to make life

556
00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:52.440
better for someone else in some way. And so they're the first four steps.

557
00:43:52.920 --> 00:43:57.920
Now, one of my favorite authors
is Henry Cloud, doctor Henry Cloud,

558
00:43:58.519 --> 00:44:00.159
and he wrote a book called In
Ta Gritty many years ago, and

559
00:44:00.519 --> 00:44:04.320
one of my favorite things in his
book was that he says, whenever we

560
00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:09.440
talk about ethics and moral behavior,
we have to talk about results. And

561
00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:15.159
that's why the results are an important
part of this the intentional steps to trust,

562
00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:19.760
because if we're not getting those intentional
results, we have to look at

563
00:44:19.760 --> 00:44:23.199
ourselves and ask, sure things happen
in the world. We can't control everything,

564
00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:30.119
but we can control what we do. We can control what we've promised,

565
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:34.400
and we can control what we intend
for other people. And so they're

566
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:37.599
the first four steps, and if
we complete those, that leads to the

567
00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:43.960
fifth step in the intentional trust,
the intentional Steps to Trust model, which

568
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:47.360
of course is trust itself. And
so it's a pretty fast way to go

569
00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:52.280
through it, at least, I'm
sorry, but again, it's a clear

570
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:58.360
way and framework for leaders to be
able to make this idea of trust and

571
00:44:58.440 --> 00:45:04.000
trustworthy actions something that we can break
down in ways that we can have meaningful

572
00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:07.679
conversations about beautiful And I know that
was quick, but that was just just

573
00:45:07.719 --> 00:45:10.360
the overlay that I was looking for. Now, we just have a couple

574
00:45:10.400 --> 00:45:14.400
of minutes left here, but I
want to finish with the finale here because

575
00:45:14.480 --> 00:45:16.840
the last thing you do in the
book, the last chapter, is you've

576
00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:22.280
identified twenty five contributing elements to living
a good life, and then you've you've

577
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:25.960
got basically ways for the readers to
work through those, and that's where you

578
00:45:25.960 --> 00:45:30.559
can really make this your own,
ladies and gentlemen. So if you could

579
00:45:30.559 --> 00:45:32.519
just say a little bit, maybe
speak to one or two of those elements,

580
00:45:32.679 --> 00:45:37.199
we've only got, like maybe you
know, about ninety seconds to handle

581
00:45:37.239 --> 00:45:42.400
this, then let me pick on
the pick on let me too. The

582
00:45:42.440 --> 00:45:46.039
one that I would it's It's spoken
a lot about, but of the twenty

583
00:45:46.079 --> 00:45:51.159
five and there's a there's not everything
that I've covered in my research in positive

584
00:45:51.159 --> 00:45:55.440
psychology, but the one that I
believe can make all the difference all and

585
00:45:55.480 --> 00:46:00.280
that's a big word the difference in
our lives is gratitude. It is the

586
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:07.079
most powerful resource that each of us
has that when we tap into gratitude,

587
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:10.480
we avoid success traps. When we
tap into gratitude, we say what have

588
00:46:10.559 --> 00:46:14.320
I got in my life that I
can be thankful for? That doesn't mean

589
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:19.880
we may not want other things,
but to stop and just be grateful.

590
00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:23.840
I have a diary note in my
diary that comes up every week, what

591
00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:28.519
have you been grateful for this week? And it's just a little reminded to

592
00:46:28.559 --> 00:46:34.679
be there. And this little pattern
interrupt idea of just reminding ourselves of the

593
00:46:34.760 --> 00:46:38.679
choices that we make is a really
powerful way. Probably to end the conversation,

594
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:45.000
listen, and I would say that
if you start to tap into gratitude,

595
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:47.599
being grateful for what you've got.
And I know not everybody has everything

596
00:46:47.639 --> 00:46:52.960
they need all want I get that, but to start with gratitude it makes

597
00:46:53.239 --> 00:46:59.639
life so much easier because as M. Scott Peckbroat in his book life isn't

598
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:02.559
easy. But once we realize and
accept that it isn't easy, it gets

599
00:47:02.599 --> 00:47:07.000
easy yet, and so gretitude is
such a powerful thing for us to be

600
00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:09.840
able to have. Well, David, that is a very proper way to

601
00:47:09.840 --> 00:47:14.400
finish the program. I am very
grateful that my path is across with you.

602
00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:16.480
You have lifted me. You've given
me another perspective, a whole other

603
00:47:16.559 --> 00:47:21.280
perspective to really elevate who I want
to be in the world, which is

604
00:47:21.320 --> 00:47:24.679
all about elevating agency. So thank
you. It is a treasure and a

605
00:47:24.719 --> 00:47:28.400
pleasure to know you. Thank you
for coming on, working on purpose and

606
00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:30.599
sharing your heart and your soul.
It's my honor. Thank you very much.

607
00:47:31.639 --> 00:47:34.639
So, listeners and viewers. If
you want to learn more about this

608
00:47:34.719 --> 00:47:37.760
amazing man, David Penglaze, his
work, or his various books, you

609
00:47:37.800 --> 00:47:40.559
can start by visiting his website,
which is Davidpennglaze dot com. Let me

610
00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:44.119
spell that for you, So,
David, D A v I. D.

611
00:47:44.559 --> 00:47:49.360
Pen Glaze p E n g l
A s E Davidpennglaze dot com.

612
00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:51.679
Last week, if you missed the
live show, you can always catch it

613
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:55.000
be recorded podcast We were on the
air with William vander Bouman, who who's

614
00:47:55.039 --> 00:47:59.840
running an executive search and recruiting firm
for the last fifteen years and he's learned

615
00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:04.320
ten data driven habits that separate the
best leaders from the rest. We talked

616
00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:07.679
about four of those habits in detail, which he then writes about in his

617
00:48:07.719 --> 00:48:09.719
book, Be the Unicorn. Next
week will be on the air with doctor

618
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:14.840
ron J. Golotti talking about his
ideas in research and helping companies to deeply

619
00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:19.960
operationalize purpose throughout their company to achieve
new game level results. See you there,

620
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:22.719
and remember work is one of the
best adventures and means of realizing our

621
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:25.800
potential we have in making the impact
we crave. So let's work on Purpose.

622
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:32.239
We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to tune into Working

623
00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:37.599
on Purpose featuring your host, doctor
Elise Cortes each week on W four C.

624
00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:43.199
Why Together We'll create a world where
business operates conscientiously, leadership inspires and

625
00:48:43.239 --> 00:48:46.599
passion performance, and employees are fulfilled
in work that provides the meaning and purpose

626
00:48:46.639 --> 00:48:50.880
they crave. See you there,
Let's work on Purpose.