Developing Your Y.O.D.A. to Make Better Decisions that Elevate Your Whole Life

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FORCY Radio. What's Working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

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answer to this question. People ache
for meaning and purpose at work, to

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contribute their talents passionately and know their
lives really matter. They crave being part

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of an organization that inspires them and
helps them grow into realizing their highest potential.

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Business can be such a force for
good in the world, elevating humanity.

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In our program, we provide guidance
and inspiration to help usher in this

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world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, Doctor

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Release Cortez. Welcome back to the
Working Purpose Program. Thanks John again this

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week. Great to have you.
I'm your host, doctor Las Cortez,

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Alive from Dallas, Texas, which
is home based. For me. If

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you've not met me yet and you
don't know me, I'm a management consultant,

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an organizational logal therapist, speaker and
author. My team and I at

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Last Cortes and Associates help companies to
enliven their operations by articulating their purpose and

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building inspirational leaders and cultures activated by
meeting and purpose to turn those companies from

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a flatline EKG to a vibrant workplace. There, people are intrinsically motivated to

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perform with their best, grown to
their floor potential, and are committed to

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stay and help deliver on the company's
mission. You can learn more about us

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now we can work together at Elis
Cortez dot com. Now. Getting in

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today's program with us is doctor Sheila
Olsen, who is a behavioral geneticist.

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She is a Senior scientist at the
Institute for Applied Research in Youth at Tufts

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University. You're visiting Assistant Professor at
the John Johns Hopkins University School of Education

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and an adjunct Assistant Professor of Pediatrics
at the George washing To University School of

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Medicine and Health Sciences. She's slightly
an over achiever. In other words,

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we'll be talking today about the book
she co offered with doctor Jim Lair called

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Wise Decisions, a science based approach
to making better choices. Today from Inglewood,

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Colorado, Doctor Olsen, welcome to
Working on Purpose. It's a delight

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to be here. Thank you so
much. You're grateful, so so welcome,

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and I'm so happy. You know. I want to command you and

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Jim for this beautiful book. I
have this really weird thing that I do,

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Sheila, is I read my guest
books cover to cover in preparation for

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the show. That's so lovely.
I know that I've heard that a million

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times, or at least maybe four
hundred times. But the reason I do

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that, Sheila, is because this
show is my catalyzing force to continue my

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own growth, expansion and development so
I can be a better service to people

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that I serve. And I want
you to know that I got some really

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powerful things from your book, not
the least of which really recognizing who and

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the what inner voice am I listening
to? Because it wasn't mine. I

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recognize, I went, oh,
no, no, wonder. So I

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want to say thank you for this. Thank you very much, thank you.

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So let's kick this off here.
I really what I like to do

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on the show here is, as
you could tell from some of the notes

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I sent you ahead of times,
I like to kind of engage over some

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of the content that really spoke to
me. Because the show is curated,

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so we kind of build on what
we've already discussed over the last eight years

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we've been doing this. So I
want to start with how you opened the

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book. You say, because so
much is writing on the decisions we make

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throughout life. Putting the decision making
process under a microscope with the intent of

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better understanding how wise decisions are represents
the central focus of this book. Sounds

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good to me, and it really
really I was sobered by that remark thinking

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about the sheer number of decisions that
we make and to your point, how

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they completely influence the quality and the
results of our lives. Yes, yes,

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and there are the micro decisions and
the macro decisions, and the micro

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decision and lead into the macro decisions
um that you know, the deciding what

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we have for breakfast or how to
manage a you know, a small moment

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at home, deciding whether to exercise
in the morning, um can make a

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difference in our mood state because of
our biochemistry and so forth, and how

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we act intentionally act or or reactively
react to situations that happen throughout the course

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of the day. So at all
it's cumulative. It all adds up,

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and that's an important thing to to
know. And Jim, who unfortunately can't

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be here, he's one of the
most wonderful human beings on planet Earth.

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And he's been honestly my most important
teacher and mentor um kind of post academia.

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He's helped me bring my behavioral genetic
my neurobiological science research that people have

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a hard time reading with a you
know, ten syllable words that narcilepsy bring

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it to people to help people change
their lives. They're how they think,

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how they behave the lives of their
children. That's my particular space is early

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you know, childhood development and because
there's a tremendous opportunity in that, in

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that chapter of life to really create
habits and patterns that stick. So decision

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making is an area that has not
been you know thoroughly you know, illuminated.

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There's business decision making. There are
lots of books in that space,

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but in terms of personal decision making, that was really an area that was

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right to go into and just really
take the process out of the closet and

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into the light and examine the pieces
that go into it and um. And

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so this was the genesis of the
book was really thinking about what can we

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write together that is just organically emanates
from conversations we normally have about people and

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the meaning they make and of events
in their lives, growth mindset. And

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then Gym's work with seventeen world number
one athletes and his you know, starting

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the Johnson Johnson Human Reformance Institute.
How can we be our very very best

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selves? And what are the steps
to get there? So we hope to

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create a process and a framework in
this book to help to help make that

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happen and just make it clear and
have some clear steps and written exercises in

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the workbook elements of the book to
help people really to take time to be

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intentional about thinking through things. Because
if we don't know where we want to

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go, we don't we're not going
to get anywhere. And we are definitely

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going to get to the place where
we talk through your your your formula,

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your process, becus and that'll be
just being o ladies and gentlemen. I'll

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be in the third segment song for
hanging with us for that. So,

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you know, you have a it's
very interesting to me what you talk about

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here when you say that, you
know, we human beings, there are

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a few things that get in the
way of us and making good constructive decisions

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that produce, you know, the
quality lives and the results that we want.

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You say a few about what what
are some of the things that hamper

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us a way of making good decisions. The things that hamper us are you

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know, multiful. There's there's the
automatic element of decision making. We just

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do things that we've seen the adults
in our lives do. Over time,

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Um, we we learn. There's
a wonderful quote, don't worry that your

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children aren't listening to you, worry
that they're always watching you. So how

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adults when we were children were watching
the adults in our lives, whether our

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parents or grandparents, are the important
adult figures in our lives and how they

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how they act and reacted to situations
going on. And we through epigenetics,

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you know, nature operates via nurture. The things that we see, the

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things that we take in, uh, you know, really become a part

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of our behavioral code, our behavioral
patterns. So as we wire up um

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our decision making processes, they're not
necessarily intentional. I don't know if you

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had a parent or anyone who talked
to you about your decision making process when

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you're a child or a young adult
or even your twenties or thirties. Whereas

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just to be aware that we're making
decisions is you know, that's really the

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starting point. But but the other
pieces are our brains are fiction making machines.

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We tell ourselves the stories that we
want to hear and tend to make

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decisions in align with those stories that
validate our stories and validate the decision we

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want to make in the first place. And so um this kind of confirmation

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bias um you know, wanting to
wanting to go in the direction anyway,

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and then finding the things that that
validate that decision and provide data a data

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set for that for that decision.
That's probably the you know, those are

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the two most important elements that we
that we wrote about. And so again

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it takes us or why are is
taking a step back to think about things

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through a broader lens to really unpack
some of those elements a the childhood element,

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but also you know the things that
we what do we think we want

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versus what do we really want?
Yeah, you did a beautiful job of

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really detailing on the book, by
the way, so encourage our listeners and

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viewers to when they go to get
the book to really give that a hard

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reak because I thought it was very, very discerning, very delineating. And

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then what I also appreciated, which
really this really started to really make me

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understand the import of your book,
Sheila. You wrote, the whole point

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of decision making at all levels is
to continually fine tune and fortify the process

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so that our lives increasingly represent who
we most want to be in life.

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Why is decision making sets to stage
for us to authentically and powerfully embody the

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way in which we show up in
the world. That is so powerful?

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Thank you, And it's you look
at the science. I'm a behavior of

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geneticist. My PhD was on a
big twin stety looking at how nature and

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nurture opera together, and it always
nature via nurture. It's not nature versus

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nurture. It's the the experiences that
we have, the environments we're in shape,

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how we how we become and who, you know, how how we

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become who we become. And we're
twenty four to seven, three sixty five

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day year work in process on this
front. So this fine tuning element um

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is vital because we're not we're not
just sort of stuck with a set of

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DNA. When we're gonna you know, we're going to have a fine you

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know, a kind of defined range
of scope in our life. We have

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possibility to to expand in the directions
that really you know, where our energy

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is the most vital and vibrant.
When we move in that direction, we

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grow, We change, We change
our mindsets, we change our behavior,

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we change all of those things.
So and in creating new ways of making

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decisions and patterns, it's really about
behavior change and creating new habits. And

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that takes repetition, repetition, repetition
because you know, trying on, you

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know, something for size, a
new workout routine. Let's just say you

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know something to to make it,
to make it simple. It doesn't you

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know, our muscles don't grow after
one day in the gym. We have

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to go for you know, at
least a few months, but we start

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feeling the effects earlier than that.
But to make behavior change, to create

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behavior change and change in mindset change
that sticks, it takes a longer period

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of time and intentionality. Which is
why we have the workbook elements in the

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in the book, because when we
write things down with our hand on a

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piece of paper, it really does
engage the whole brain, the default mode

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network, the executive function. It
helps us integrate things in a more realistic

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way. And just on that fine
tuning element. One thing that I have

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done over time, this is all
the habit. You know, habit literature

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have cues. Queues are really really
important to remember things, so sticky notes

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about your Yoda code which will get
into your own decision advisor. U have

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reminders around that help you remember and
dock onto concepts that are important for you

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to be your very best self.
To ground yourself in a moment where it

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may be a little bit heated,
breathe, you are just where you need

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to be right now. I have
that on the back door going out of

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the door, but it is you
know, we don't have control over a

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lot of things, and like things
happen and they can't happen randomly, and

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they make it us sideways like a
like a tidal way. Um. So

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we don't have the choice about how
we react to them, and we can

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ground ourselves in breath and be where
our feet are and decide to act rather

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than react. You know, in
that pause is Victor Frankle. Until you've

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read Man search for meaning of the
power of the pause. That's where our

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freedom lies. We can make a
decision in that power of the pause.

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But we don't do that. We
just instinctively react and and jump back out

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at something that we haven't really had
a moment to process beautifully rendered. Yeah,

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the next thing I wanted to get
into, which I think is delightful.

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One of the one of the one
of the many delightful things about your

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book, of course, is your
concept of our yoda, which is of

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course your own decision advisor. Um. And I appreciate you start of talking

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about that already, but maybe this
is a time if you could kind of

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introduce the Yoda concept to us.
Sure, so, inside of all of

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us we have a private inner voice. This is the voice that is the

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most powerful of all of the elements
of who we are. This is the

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voice that can either be a powerful
coach or it can be a really powerful

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adversary ally or adversary or the two, you know, the two kind of

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key terms. But we can.
We can. The stories we tell ourselves

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about things that happen, and the
messages that come through our minds, even

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the nanosecond, the you know,
the an instant flash, can shape how

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we look at things. So rumination, for instance, that always brings us,

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at whatever age and stage, down
a rabbit hole. Being able to

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have that voice and train that voice, which is possible because of the science

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that we just talked about, be
a coach. Be a coach who tells

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you, you know, breathe,
slow down, take a moment, step

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back, reframe, and and really
give us the capacity to provide objectivity in

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inner stories that often get wildly subjective
and caught up in moods and caught up

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in things that aren't even nearly the
truth. Right. So it's easy for

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that to happen, But the problem
is when that happens inside of us,

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it affects our mood state, our
stress levels. At Johns Hopkins, my

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major focus was was stress and what
happens, you know, chronic stress,

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particularly over time. But stress cortisol
narrows the purview. It keeps us in

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this kind of locked lane. And
when the stress response happens, that is

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that is typically with rumination or with
kind of negative thinking, you're not giving

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ourselves space to really think broadly through
this kind of three hundred and sixty degree

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lens um. We get locked into
stories that are negative and that are that

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are that are deleterious to us,
to our biochemistry, to our mood,

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to our gene expression patterns, to
how we operate, and and that's the

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problem. So but that on the
flip side, the positive element is that

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we have the capacity and science tells
us to with repetition and training and intentionality,

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we can make that inner voice into
a force of good for us,

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a force that builds us up,
that helps us, uh, you know,

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be kind with ourselves, give ourselves
grace, have a growth mindset,

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give ourselves space to unpack things.
Not feel like, you know, not

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feel like we're we're stuck and hopeless
because we made one bad decision. And

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by the way, we all make
bad decisions a series of them sometimes.

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And you know the most important thing
is to learn and and for parents talk

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about that with your children. I've
got three boys, twenty eighteen and sixteen,

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and we really just try to talk
about the things that we do well

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and the things that we haven't done
well. I think it's particularly important for

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adults to just be human with their
children and talk about, you know,

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maybe you know what went wrong,
why we're how would I have thought about

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this differently sitting where I am right
now. It's equally as important to talk

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about the bad decisions and the good
decisions. But we learn over time,

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and it's like shaping our clay and
molding our clay through the science of epigenetics

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and building those neural pathways that become
the default mode for us. AH so

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much there, Sheila um let's scrab
our first break. I want to let

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our listeners and viewers just kind of
think about what you you you've said so

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run yoda, and kind of where
we make decisions from how they can actually

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impact the quality of our lives.
I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortez.

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We were on air with doctor Sheila
Olsen. She's the co author of Wise

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Decisions as science based approach to making
better choices. We're talking about some of

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the foundational elements of her work and
the book After the Brick. We're going

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to get into first the four Literacies
of decision making. State with us.

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We'll be right back. Doctor Elise
Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

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and purpose. An inspirational speaker and
author, she helps companies visioneer for a

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greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose
inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate

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fulfillment, performance, and commitment within
the workforce. To learn more or to

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invite a lease to speak to your
organization, please visit her at Elise Cortez

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00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:03.240
dot com. Let's talk about how
to get your employees working on purpose.

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This is working on Purpose with doctor
Elise Cortez. To reach our program today

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or to open a conversation with a
lease, send an email to a lease

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a l I se at Elise Cortez
dot com. Now back to working on

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Purpose. Thanks for stating with us. Before we get back on the program,

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I do want to share with you
some exciting news here, which is

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I've been talking about for a bit
now. We launched the Purpose and Enjoy

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Tour in March of this year.
This is a collaboration with Jolie an organization

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that teaches mindful practices to build happy, healthy, resilient worlds, and my

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firm, Elise Cortez and Associates that
activates meaning a purpose in company culture and

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leadership to increase fulfillment, performance and
retention. Together we cracked this crazy idea

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to visit thirty three cities across the
United States starting in March and finishing Virginia

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Beach and October to find our trial
and of the people that I actually want

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to elevate their lives by and their
businesses by cultivating meeting purpose and joy.

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So you can find our list of
cities and our planned events at Gusto dashnow

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dot com events. There's a tour
tab there with all the cities delineated,

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So check out your what we have
planned for you, reserv on on your

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calendar and register and we will see
you there if you're just now joining the

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program today. My guest is doctor
Sheila Olsen, who is a behavioral geneticist.

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She is a Senior scientist at the
Institute for Applied Research in Youth at

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Tufts University, visiting Assistant professor at
the Johns Hopkins University School of Education,

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and an adjunct Assistant Professor of Pediatrics
at the George Washington University School of Medicine

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and Health. I'm your host,
doctor Elis QUOTEZ. So I want to

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talk more now if we can.
I want to dig into there were so

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many elements of your book that I
just thought gave me so much more around

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this notion of decision making. One
of them is you talk about there's four

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literacies to decision making. If you
could talk about each one of them kind

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of briefly and the buckets that are
under each, I think that will our

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listeners in viewers really understand just how
much goes into this. Sure, absolutely,

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thank you. So our chapter one
of the book is called Health ignites

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wise decision making, and that's because
when we are not healthy either mentally,

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physically, emotionally or spiritually and spiritually
we define as our highest order values and

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beliefs, we can't make the decisions
we want to look back on and feel

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that we're proud of over the long
game of life. So it's important to

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be now break down all these different
four buckets. But it's one important thing

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to say upfront is that these four
buckets are all integrated below the skin,

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the same molecules that are affecting mental
health or affecting physical health or emotions.

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You know, they all they all
interact, so we can't think of them

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as discrete buckets. It's a really
integrative mind body system. But starting with

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the most basic our physical health or
physical literacy, being physically active and doing

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something with our bodies every day.
We're mammals. We were built to move

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our bodies in order to use our
brains properly, and so doing something physically

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active every day stimulates this powerful exercise
biochemistry that boosts mood, health, creativity,

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um, you know, decreases inflammatory
factors, it does all these things

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that you know, it's more powerful
than than things that we go to the

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drug store to get. So doing
something physically active, whatever it is for

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you or you can engage and is
very very important. Mental mental literacy is

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really about doing our work to be
able to have a growth mindset, which

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means meaning making in the appropriate way. There's a of literature on meaning making,

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and it is not the events in
our lives themselves that make a difference

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in how how they how they resonate
with us. It's the meaning we make

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out of them. Yes, when
we look at an event and decide,

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oh, my goodness is a catastrophe. It's never going to be the same.

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My life is over. That is
going to you know, that brings

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on cortisol, that brings on inflammatory
factors, that brings on these these these

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biochemical elements that just stuck us down
into the rabbit hole. Um. We

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can also look at the very same
event as a boy. That was awful,

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but you know what, I'm going
to learn from it, and I

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would do this differently next time around, or what can I do at this

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point now to take some little piece
of that and and and and make my

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life better and make the life of
someone else better. Um. So the

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meaning making piece is massive, and
studies show my dear friend Mary Helen Emordino

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yang at USC has done a lot
of work on adolescence and meaning making and

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what that means later on in life. And the ones who are able to

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make adaptive positive meaning as you can
imagine, their their health is better,

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their decisions are better, they have
better outcomes across the board. It's um

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you know, making adaptive meaning of
situations whatever they are as is incredibly important.

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So that's mental literacy, emotional literacy
as being emotionally intelligent um, knowing

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how to recognize our own emotions,
understand them, put a label on them,

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and and express them and regulate them. This is you know, a

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lot of the work of my friend
Mark Brackett, Yale School of Emotional Yale

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Center for Emotional Intelligence, is in
this book. He's he's mentioned several times,

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but he's he's in you know,
several four thousand schools across the country

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helping adults and young people understand what
their emotions are. Because basically, our

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emotions are they are the palette,
you know, they're the canvas that is

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primed that all of our cognitive thoughts
and ideas and actions and reactions, it's

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all, you know, it's they
all stem from this basis of our emotional

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being. And our emotions are not
just these sort of fluffy things there,

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their data, and they're the first
things that wire up in our mind body

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systems. Is as infants, as
young people, and our emotions really come

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directly from our viscera and our organ
systems and they project up the outside expression

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of our emotions as our feelings.
So being able to understand what those are

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and it's you know, may not
it's not a good idea to make a

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big decision when we're either really emotionally
up or really emotionally down and being understand

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that I need to make this decision. It's not the right time. Maybe

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I write it down as something that
I need to think about but at a

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different time. That's emotional literacy.
And then spiritual literacy is really this our

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highest and our most important values and
beliefs about what is important in life and

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how we want to show up.
And that's really the big driver. That's

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the gas that comes from the inside. That's jam. Yeah, intrinsic motivation.

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Him is very well known. He
was actually the first. He published

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something in the Harvard Business Review decades
ago. But the pyramid of spiritual literacy

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is on the top and then it
goes mental, emotional, and physical at

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the bottom. And so if we
develop from the bottom up, we become

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extraordinary from the top down because it
is those the spiritual dimension and those big

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values and those those big those most
important beliefs of ours are the things that

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that keep us going over time,
the things we care about the most and

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believe in. And so this hooks
back into our yoda, which is it

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if you look in our book,
there's there's a figure with all of these

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dimensions with YODA right middle, your
own advisor. So if we want to

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make good decisions, really being emotionally, literate, mentally and physically and the

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spiritually, really thinking about all of
these dimensions and what they are for us,

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what we do where we can fine
tune bring those right down into the

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middle, and then we have our
you know, your own decision advisor YODA,

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which is a superpower like none others
and just as a behavioral genetic system,

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mom of boys, UM, when
we when we wire up these skills

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and these thought patterns and these behaviors
is automatic. And young people, UM,

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this is just a superpower they'll have
for the rest of their lives.

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It will pay the biggest dividends.
And we're learning across life and we never

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we never stop learning and growing at
any age or stage. But it's particularly

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powerful in young people and particularly with
all the things going on in their lives

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right now that we never had to
face. UM. So yeah, and

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it's it's a very different world that
they're navigating versus us. But when we

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have UM, we know who we
are at the core and can recognize decisions

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and stay healthy and and keep our
eye on the things that are important.

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It really uh it takes a lot
of the pressure off and helps navigate what

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can be an otherwise very tricky course. Yes, well said, it's of

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course, you know, I can't
argue with anything that you say. I

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aligned completely with that, UM.
And then you know, if we now

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go on going back from you know, these four dimensions here, Now,

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I just if you would just very
briefly, because I want I want people

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to be able to go and do
the stuff in there in the book here.

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But I think one of the things
that I really got a lot of

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value from your book too was equipping
the Yoda with the right stuff here this

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using the betting process, and you
talk about how the decision making process can

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be greatly improved when viewed through seven
lenses. And then of course you have

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some very distinctive prompts in your book
and you know work worksheets in your book

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to be able to help the reader
to do that. But if you would

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just go through each of the seven
lenses, that would be great, just

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kind of what they are, UM. And then I want to keep building

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on that right well, So just
to start off the seven lenses. There's

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a lot of overlap in the seven
lenses, and you'll see this as I

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read through the list um. But
we have the first lenses, the best

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self, best moral self, our
life's purpose, our tombstone legacy, how

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we want to be remembered by those
who knew us the best and loved us

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the most, our core values and
beliefs, our personal credo, and our

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ultimate mission in life. And so
as you can see, there's a lot

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of there's a tremendous amount of overlap. But taking the time to just pick

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up a pen and a piece of
paper and write down if you're facing particularly

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a big decision, thinking about it
through all of these lenses, and and

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thinking about it not only in terms
of how it will affect us and our

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lives, but also the lives of
those that were closest to you. What's

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the ripple effect out of our decision? But it really gets back to,

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you know, the the endgame here
is to make the kinds of decisions that

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at the very end of our lives. The tombstone legacy is representative, this

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one that we're going to look back
on and be proud of. And we

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can have full information up front you
know, we can make a decision one

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day and then something happens the next
day that materially changes you know, what

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we would have done. We can
only do the best that we can at

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the time. And we when we
keep those those higher order elements in mind

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of who we want to be,
how we want to show up, how

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do we want to leave the world. What do we really want to teach

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our children? UM, what's the
legacy we want to leave behind? Why

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why are we here? You know, what's our purpose here on earth?

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Those are the things that um,
if you look at the wisdom literature and

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you know, the writings of eighty
ninety hundred centenarians talk about you know,

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I had X number of zeros in
my bank account and I had a had

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a beautiful jet in all these vacation
homes. It's really about the the connection

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with people. There are people that
they love that both the both the u

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the elements of joy that they remember
and regrets are around, you know,

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being there or not being there,
showing up in the way they wanted to,

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not showing up in the way they
wanted to. So kind of got

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going forward out into the future and
then backward mapping to where we are now

403
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to think about, you know,
what are these things that we care about

404
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the most, What is this decision
going to look like, how is it

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going to feel in a month,
a year, or ten years, twenty

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years. And going through the process
of just writing down what these things are

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just helps us take it out of
our minds and out onto paper where we

408
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:41.400
can really legitimately process it in a
different way. One thing that is not

409
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:48.119
in here that I have found incredibly
valuable too is thinking about the people that

410
00:30:49.160 --> 00:30:55.839
I rely on for They're my role
models for making good decisions. I just

411
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.920
I value how they operate in the
world, and I have a go to

412
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.160
to my Yoda advisory board or something
along those sides. But I've got a

413
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:08.559
handful of people that I just I
know, I know I'm going to get,

414
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:18.880
you know, heartfelt, thoughtful,
intelligent perspective from them that I can

415
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:26.599
make into my own body of knowledge
and integrate in to really think about it

416
00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:29.839
in the right way, because it's
hard to think about everything at once,

417
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.680
even if we're we know a lot, it's hard to you know, it's

418
00:31:33.720 --> 00:31:38.920
hard to have the perspective that gives
us the ability to have the spaciousness to

419
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:45.640
be able to really think broadly about
particularly big decisions, so that having a

420
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:51.559
team of people is very important.
Yes, and I think I really got

421
00:31:51.640 --> 00:31:55.200
so much about that whole perspective set
of lenses that was very powerful for me.

422
00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:57.160
And what you just started, what
you were just speaking to there to

423
00:31:57.279 --> 00:32:00.480
me, Sheila, I wanted to
be able to read this beautifu passage because

424
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:02.960
I think it really speaks to what
you were just getting at there, you

425
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:07.119
said in the book. Humanity's greatest
asset is its capacity for the kind of

426
00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:13.240
deep reflective consciousness that gives rise to
personal transformation. It is a capacity to

427
00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:15.559
be aware that one is aware,
to be conscious of what one is thinking

428
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:20.759
or saying, both privately and publicly, and to be fully conscious of one's

429
00:32:20.799 --> 00:32:25.519
own awareness. Reflective consciousness is the
essential difference that separates humans from all other

430
00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:29.799
species. Yes, that's what you're
what I think you were really speaking to

431
00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:31.839
there, that capacity to be able
to reflect on that level. We have

432
00:32:31.960 --> 00:32:36.400
that capacity, but it takes it
takes stopping. You know, we run

433
00:32:36.440 --> 00:32:42.480
around, We rush around our lives, you know, doing things and having

434
00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:50.680
disc beings and feeling instead of taking
a break from human doing and getting into

435
00:32:50.759 --> 00:32:57.319
human being to think and reflect.
That helps us really consolidate all these different

436
00:32:57.400 --> 00:33:05.359
levels of intellectual, emotional, psychological, physical pieces of um you know,

437
00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:08.640
who we are, who want to
be? It? Just stopping and thinking

438
00:33:08.839 --> 00:33:15.400
and reflecting is vital to being able
to to grow and learn. I'm curious

439
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:19.160
at least, how so the seven
lens process for you? Forgive me,

440
00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:24.160
you're asking a question, but how
did how did that help you think about

441
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:30.119
the decision making process differently than you
had previously? But because it really made

442
00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:34.640
me get present to this, you
know, this reflective consciousness. And you

443
00:33:34.680 --> 00:33:36.839
know, if I think about,
well, who do I really want to

444
00:33:36.839 --> 00:33:38.960
be in the world? How do
I want to leave this world? Boy?

445
00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:43.839
When when you take your lens up
from that versus you know, whe

446
00:33:43.839 --> 00:33:45.960
am I freaked out about now?
Or what's today? What's the problem today?

447
00:33:46.119 --> 00:33:50.160
Or you know, or what's this
person care about? Or what am

448
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:52.720
I what's happening with this client or
whatever? When I take the lens and

449
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:55.200
I elevate it, I'd like to
use that, you know, the elevational

450
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:59.200
piece to me that just went gosh. In fact, I will tell you

451
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:04.359
even now, I had a conversation
just today with someone in a very different

452
00:34:04.400 --> 00:34:08.679
way. I chose to behave in
a different way in part because of your

453
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:12.559
book. Yeah, and I said, because I this is the person I

454
00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:15.840
want to be. I want to
be this more higher functioning, capable,

455
00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:22.719
better relationship, better results person.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

456
00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:27.960
That's that's beautiful, and it's that's
why Jim and I wrote the book.

457
00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:30.159
You know, we just want to
we want to want to help.

458
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:32.480
I got it and it's beautiful.
So listeners and viewers, you might want

459
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:35.159
to check it out while we go
in this next break here, go to

460
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:37.960
Amazon check it out. It's time
for our last break here. I'm your

461
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:42.440
host, Doctor Elie's Cortez. We've
been in the air with doctor Sheila Olson.

462
00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:45.840
She's the co author of Wise Decisions, a science based approach to making

463
00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:47.760
better choices. We've been talking a
bit about some of the meat of the

464
00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:51.719
book that really gives it its value
and flavor. Stay with us. Will

465
00:34:51.760 --> 00:35:10.679
be right back. Doctor Elise Cortez
is a management consultant specializing in meaning and

466
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:15.840
purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies visioneer for greater purpose

467
00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:22.519
among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

468
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.960
performance and commitment within the workforce.
To learn more or to invite a lease

469
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:30.360
to speak to your organization, please
visit her at Elise Cortez dot com.

470
00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:39.920
Let's talk about how to get your
employees working on purpose. This is Working

471
00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:45.320
on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortez.
To reach our program today or to open

472
00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:50.519
a conversation with Elise, send an
email to elease a l I se at

473
00:35:50.559 --> 00:36:00.679
Elise Cortez dot com. Now back
to working on Purpose. Thanks for staying

474
00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:02.480
with us, and welcome back to
working on Purpose. I mentioned in the

475
00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:07.079
last break that we've launched this Purpose
and Enjoy tour. The two latest books

476
00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:09.400
that I have that are part of
that tour are The Great Revitalization, How

477
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:14.199
activating meeting and Purpose can radically enliven
your business. And this is for leaders

478
00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:17.559
to learn how to build elevating and
high performing cultures and leadership. The other

479
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:22.239
latest book is called Coloring Life,
How Lass invites us to live more vibrant

480
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:25.599
lives, which helps people navigating loss
transform it to growth and vitality. You

481
00:36:25.639 --> 00:36:30.400
can find them both on Amazon if
you're just now joining us. My guest

482
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:34.199
is doctor Sheila Olsen. She's a
behavioral geneticist and the co author of Wise

483
00:36:34.280 --> 00:36:37.400
Decisions, a science based approach to
making better choices. I'm your host,

484
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:39.840
doctor Lee Quartez. So for this
last bit here, I wanted just to

485
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:44.719
get into some of the some of
the ways that to the applications and exercises

486
00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:46.800
that you have on the book here
to kind of give listeners and viewers a

487
00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:51.679
taste. And I was very very
intrigued with your tombstone exercise. Can you

488
00:36:51.719 --> 00:37:01.280
talk to us a bit about that? Absolutely, But the tombstone exercise is

489
00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:07.880
relates back to what we were just
talking about in the previous segment about who

490
00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:10.719
we want to be? So what
if we can forward map, look out

491
00:37:10.760 --> 00:37:16.079
into the future decades and think about
what do we want written on our tombstone?

492
00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:21.639
How do we want to show up? What are those things that we

493
00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:28.320
most want to convey to the people
who loved us the most and know us

494
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:32.159
the best. What's really important?
And it's not the things that we often

495
00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:37.679
feel you know that we've that our
society is often chasing in this world.

496
00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:44.679
It's the basic things rounded in human
relationships, love, purpose, making our

497
00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:47.519
world a better place. That's like
the meat and potatoes of from an evolutionary

498
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:52.000
standpoint, how we've survived as human
beings, not going it alone, but

499
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:55.599
with the notion of collective efficacy,
where one plus one equals three stronger together

500
00:37:55.639 --> 00:38:00.760
than apart. And so the Tombstone
legacy. And I've been working with some

501
00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:05.440
high school students actually teaching a class
based on this book, and it's been

502
00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:10.199
fascinating to work with them, these
incredible young people who are thinking about what

503
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:14.639
these things are early on in life, you know, when many adults haven't

504
00:38:14.679 --> 00:38:19.920
really unpacked these things. They're sort
of going through their lives doing and reacting,

505
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:23.400
but not with the intentionality that we
need to make sure that that Tombstone

506
00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:28.880
legacy is what we wanted to be
because time time is our asset, and

507
00:38:29.239 --> 00:38:32.039
the energy that we are able to
deploy into the things that we care about,

508
00:38:32.559 --> 00:38:37.119
that's you know, it's priceless.
So that's the Tombstone legacy is going

509
00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:40.320
out in the forward so we can
backward map to make sure that we're on

510
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:44.960
the right route, that our knav
system is set to the right destination,

511
00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:50.760
and we can course correct along the
way is needed, not too far off.

512
00:38:50.760 --> 00:38:53.320
Maybe what we were speaking about before, the other other O the other

513
00:38:53.360 --> 00:38:57.719
break, but beautifully well illustrated.
I love that you're working with youth.

514
00:38:57.760 --> 00:39:00.199
By the way, I also do
work with youth on on strength finding and

515
00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:07.440
also meeting and purpose too. It's
just it's so fulfilling in their it's beautiful,

516
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:10.920
and I think it's incredibly necessary,
right, Yeah. Necessary. So

517
00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:15.800
I wanted to see if you would
also just share just a few of the

518
00:39:15.800 --> 00:39:19.079
summary of the point from the summary
wisdom from Yoda. There's in the last

519
00:39:19.159 --> 00:39:22.159
chapter, there's just I think there's
like thirty seven points or something crazy like

520
00:39:22.199 --> 00:39:24.519
that. So, so, you
know, jam packed with value, but

521
00:39:24.679 --> 00:39:30.760
maybe just a few that really speak
to you around around the details around Yoda,

522
00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:34.199
around the summary wisdom, just some
of those details that we haven't talked

523
00:39:34.199 --> 00:39:36.840
about so far in the show.
Yeah, I mean, the summary wisdom

524
00:39:37.119 --> 00:39:44.400
is, it doesn't matter if we
get to the top of a mountain,

525
00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:46.199
if we have to climb over dead
bodies on the way up. It's really

526
00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:50.920
about who we are as people.
Being kind to other people. How we

527
00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:58.280
treat other people shapes how other people
treat us, and it shapes our story

528
00:39:58.320 --> 00:40:00.679
and our mood and everything that extends
from that. So and it starts with

529
00:40:00.840 --> 00:40:06.199
also being kind to ourselves. The
summary wisdom you know was really in the

530
00:40:06.239 --> 00:40:08.440
first chapter around the health piece.
If we're not kind to ourselves, if

531
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:13.800
we don't take care of ourselves,
nurture our bodies as the vehicles take us

532
00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:19.519
around life, nurture our minds and
our souls and our our emotions. UM.

533
00:40:19.639 --> 00:40:22.760
You know we uh, you know, we can't give ourselves the the

534
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:30.559
spaciousness nor the grace needed to really
navigate life um successfully. And you know,

535
00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:36.559
relative to Yoda, you know the
the you know, there are three

536
00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:40.880
basic things that we if we look
at all the literature over time on brain

537
00:40:40.920 --> 00:40:45.719
health and brain health is of course
um corel. You can't take mind body

538
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:50.039
health and put them separately, because
they both in a relay and they shape

539
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:54.039
one another. But there are three
major factors that um, that that help

540
00:40:54.159 --> 00:41:00.280
us do better with what we have
from a biological standpoint over to time.

541
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:04.840
One is doing something physically active every
day. That exercise biochemistry boosts everything,

542
00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:10.119
not only health and moved the creativity
and innovation and all the things that matter.

543
00:41:10.599 --> 00:41:15.960
Having friends connected, doubling down on
our people, surrounding ourselves with people

544
00:41:15.960 --> 00:41:21.159
who feel like sunlight, who support
us. That's incredibly important as well.

545
00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:23.960
There's a biochemical story to that too, related to oxytocin. But having a

546
00:41:24.119 --> 00:41:30.280
reliable, strong friend group that supports
us and is there for us up just

547
00:41:30.280 --> 00:41:32.400
I want to throw this in.
The Surgeon General just came out with a

548
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:37.039
with a report a couple of weeks
ago initiative on loneliness and isolation and the

549
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:43.400
health risk if loneliness and isolation is
massive and with you know, any age

550
00:41:43.440 --> 00:41:46.760
or stage again, and social media
exacerbates that. But as particularly as we

551
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:51.199
grow older, you know, making
sure that we have the people around who

552
00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:54.599
are supporting us in the way that
we can we can rely on so exercise

553
00:41:54.679 --> 00:41:59.480
friends of The third one gets around
to kind of the whole premise of this

554
00:42:00.199 --> 00:42:05.639
book around purpose, and we're in
a purpose having something bigger than ourselves to

555
00:42:05.679 --> 00:42:08.800
get out of bed for every time, something that's motivating from the inside,

556
00:42:09.079 --> 00:42:14.159
that keys off that spiritual dimension that
what do we want to do, how

557
00:42:14.199 --> 00:42:16.360
do we want to show up?
What do we care about? And connecting

558
00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:22.679
with other people around that shared system
of values and beliefs, having a bigger

559
00:42:22.679 --> 00:42:27.519
purpose than us. It's a motivating
factor like like none else. And so

560
00:42:27.800 --> 00:42:32.320
when we get that recipe right to
do something active, stay active, take

561
00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:35.880
care of our take care of ourselves, take care of our friends, or

562
00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:42.039
nurture those friendships that nurture us,
and double down on purpose. That's that's

563
00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:46.480
the recipe for success in life,
and success that is not success measured in

564
00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:52.440
bank account. It's so much bigger
than that. It's not quantifiable. Completely

565
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:55.159
agree, And I really didn't want
to hear you. I love that you

566
00:42:55.239 --> 00:42:59.800
asked me the question of how you're
a book and material has impacted my life,

567
00:42:59.800 --> 00:43:02.320
But I would also love to hear
of another example of someone maybe who's

568
00:43:02.400 --> 00:43:07.079
used this material and how it's improved
their lives. If you have an example,

569
00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:13.400
well, um, I'm trying to
think I've got a handful of different

570
00:43:13.440 --> 00:43:16.159
examples. I was. I'm going
to go to my students actually, because

571
00:43:19.079 --> 00:43:22.000
adults that I've spoken with, they've
thought about the health piece and really doubled

572
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:29.159
down on thinking about their Yoda codes
and and what is really important for the

573
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:36.599
young people that I've worked with,
just be at this sensitive period and development

574
00:43:36.679 --> 00:43:39.719
these, you know, the childhood
and adolescents are the periods and brain and

575
00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:45.599
body development that are where new habits
are the likeliest to stick for life and

576
00:43:45.639 --> 00:43:50.440
just become these automatic habits, just
like brushing our teeth or driving a car.

577
00:43:50.599 --> 00:43:52.800
You know, just we do.
We do them without an thinking about

578
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:59.880
it. So to to sit with
these amazing young people who have taken the

579
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:05.320
time to do their writing, do
the reflective processes, to think about their

580
00:44:05.360 --> 00:44:08.360
lives, things that have gone well, things that haven't gone well, what

581
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:15.480
they want to do, helping them, helping them craft, not craft their

582
00:44:15.559 --> 00:44:20.320
Yota codes, but just reinforcing,
helping them reinforce the importance of their Yota

583
00:44:20.360 --> 00:44:24.679
codes around their purpose. I just, you know, that has been so

584
00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:34.480
expansive for me because I feel like
it is just amplified human potential in this

585
00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:39.760
way that will illuminate not only them, but you know all the others who

586
00:44:40.079 --> 00:44:43.800
they go out and touch. They're
all headed off to their juniors and seniors.

587
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:45.639
Most of them are heading off to
college next year, but there are

588
00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:50.559
many of them are doing projects based
on the book. They've written curriculum,

589
00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:55.480
they've done sports coaching manuals, They've
done different things that are going to have

590
00:44:55.519 --> 00:45:00.679
an impact in a way that is
so desperately needed at this time. And

591
00:45:00.920 --> 00:45:04.960
you know, I'm fifty seven years
old. I love my work. I

592
00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:07.320
was in finance. Beforehand, I
was a portfolio manager. I did a

593
00:45:07.320 --> 00:45:15.800
whole different set of things and I
switched changed courses twenty plus years ago.

594
00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:19.360
And I love what I do and
I love the people I do it with.

595
00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:22.280
And so people are really good when
they do what they love and love

596
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:24.280
what they do. And that doesn't
mean loving what you do. Is it

597
00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:29.880
hard sometimes and challenging, and you
know it should be hard because hart is

598
00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:31.440
fun, you know hert is fun. Also, we get through challenges and

599
00:45:31.519 --> 00:45:38.239
we we grow from it. But
seeing these young people taking the ball and

600
00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:43.719
running with it and phrasing things in
their own way that makes sense for them.

601
00:45:43.719 --> 00:45:47.960
But holding the principles and the basics
intact, boy, just make my

602
00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:52.159
heart just wants to you know,
Nick, right, I know to live

603
00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:57.880
and that in that space is pretty
great. I love it too. So

604
00:45:58.480 --> 00:46:01.559
well, it's amazing how this show
goes. You know, we we this

605
00:46:01.639 --> 00:46:05.599
show is listen to you by people
around the world, Sheila, and most

606
00:46:05.639 --> 00:46:07.920
people don't listen to it or listening
to the topic that of course they've chosen

607
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:12.960
opt into. Or there are people
that really are out to create a culture

608
00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:15.639
in the workplace where people actually want
to show up, give it their best

609
00:46:15.679 --> 00:46:17.960
and stay and create those leaders that
lead us to our greatness. We do

610
00:46:19.000 --> 00:46:21.440
business at Betters of the World.
What would you like to leave our listeners

611
00:46:21.480 --> 00:46:28.800
and viewers with? Go shine your
light, Go double down on your Yoda

612
00:46:28.840 --> 00:46:31.280
code. Take care of yourself.
Those are the two main things. Take

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00:46:31.320 --> 00:46:36.679
care of yourself, don't feel guilty
about it, prioritize it, and and

614
00:46:37.079 --> 00:46:40.679
sit back and really think about your
Yoda code, those five or six words

615
00:46:40.679 --> 00:46:45.800
that describe who you want to be
and how you want to leave those around

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00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:51.679
you feeling. And then go out
and just unabashedly shine your light. M

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00:46:52.199 --> 00:46:54.599
That sounds good to me, Sheila, I thank you so much for coming

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00:46:54.599 --> 00:46:58.719
into my world, for writing this
book, for coming on the air with

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00:46:58.760 --> 00:47:00.840
me and sharing with it. It's
been a delight to get to know you

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00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:02.280
and share your work. Thanks for
being on working on a purpose. Thank

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00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:06.159
you. I'm so grateful to be
on today. And uh, I appreciate

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00:47:06.199 --> 00:47:08.280
you Alis for all the work that
you're doing. Thank you. I'm so

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00:47:08.320 --> 00:47:12.079
glad to know you. One when
they had happened. Sometimes she was when

624
00:47:12.119 --> 00:47:14.159
I when I connect with my guests
so and you know, sometimes they get

625
00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:17.800
a knock on their door when I'm
actually in their city. Sores open anytime.

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00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:22.199
Okay, good good listener's viewers,
if you want learn learn more about

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00:47:22.199 --> 00:47:27.519
this remarkable woman, doctor Stela Olson, the work she does centering the how

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00:47:27.639 --> 00:47:31.519
nurture environment shapes nature which is DNA, and how we can create context in

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00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:36.840
sport, at school and nature settings
that unlock the potential of our youth start

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00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:42.280
rights. In her website, it's
www dot Sheila Olson Walker dot com.

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00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:45.039
Let me spell that for you.
So Sheila s h e I l A

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00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:51.400
Olson is O h L S s
O N and then Walker w A l

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00:47:51.599 --> 00:47:55.480
k E R Sheila also Olson walker
dot com. Last week, if you

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00:47:55.480 --> 00:47:59.239
missed the live show, you can
always catch it be a recorded podcast.

635
00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:01.559
We were on the air with doctor
John Schinnerer, the host of the Evolved

636
00:48:01.599 --> 00:48:06.679
Caveman podcast, talking about the work
he does to coachman de great connection,

637
00:48:06.760 --> 00:48:10.079
happiness and success and really amazing pearls
in that conversation, very very illuminating and

638
00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:15.159
the lightening stuff. Next week we'll
be on the air with Kent Gregoire hearing

639
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:20.280
about his perspective on stakeholder capitalism.
See you there. Remember that work as

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00:48:20.280 --> 00:48:22.760
an integral and important part of our
lives and can be one of the best

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00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:25.480
adventures and means of realizing our potential
in making the impact we crave. So

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00:48:25.599 --> 00:48:32.119
let's work on Purpose. We hope
you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure

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00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:37.320
to tune into Working on Purpose featuring
your host, doctor Elise Cortez, each

644
00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:40.800
week on W four CY. Together, we'll create a world where business operates

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00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:45.960
conscientiously. Leadership inspires and passion performance, and employees are fulfilled in work that

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00:48:46.039 --> 00:48:51.719
provides the meaning and purpose they crave. See you there, Let's work on Purpose.