Want a High-Performance Team? Become a Chief Inspiration Officer

0:00 The topics and opinions express in the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests and not those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements radio show, programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio or its employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W FOURCY Radio. What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their highest potential. Business can be such a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, doctor Elise Cortez.

1:04 Welcome back to the Working on Purpose program, which has been brought to you with passionate pride since February of twenty fifteen. Great to have you. Thanks joining again this week. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes, joining you live from Dallas, Texas. If we've not met before and you don't know me, I'm an organizational psychologist and local therapist, speaker and author. My team and I at Gusto Now help companies to inlign and fortify their operations by building a culture and leadership activated by meaning and purpose. Our mission is to help our clients create a destination workplace where people flock to join, are intrigionally motivated to perform at their best, can grow into their fuller potential, and are committed to stay at dinnertic delilver on the company's mission, which translates to higher profits for you. You can learn more about us and how we can work together at Gusto dashnow dot com or my personal site at least Coortes dot com.

1:47 Before we get into today's program, I am thrilled to announce that registration is now open for a fabulous new conference for women for which I'll serve as the MC. It's called Thrive in twenty five and is a jam packed few days in Chicago, June twenty five through the twenty eighth twenty twenty five designed to develop women as whole selves, from bolstering your mindset to your financial acumen, to leadership, to incorporating nature and art into your life, to raise consciousness, and much much more. You can visit www. Dot Thrive dash in twenty five dot com as twenty five the number twenty five Thrive dash in twenty five dot com for more information and to register. You can use my promo code of Gusto all in caps Gusto to gain access to the free books and programs. I'll be gifty regisents for that conference. See you there now getting into today's program we have with us. Val Rees She is the founder and CEO of Executive Muse. She's a seasoned executive coach and leadership trainer and the author of Chief Inspiration Offer Officer, How to Lead the Team everyone wants to be on which will be talking about today.

2:49 She joined today from San Jose, California. Val Hearty, Welcome to Working on Purpose. Thank you for having me. I real it so welcome. A couple of things, A couple of housekeeping things here listeners, viewers, Apologies for my voice. I just came back from about nine days in Bangalore, India, where I was working with a client to develop and train their team, and I got not just one but two bugs. So my voice is a little bit weird. And the second housekeeping item is vale am I saying your last name right, Rece Yeah, good job, okay, good okay, cool cool cool? All right, well's dive in. So I want to start with just your own story of discovering the need for becoming an inspirational leader. You figured this out on the job, which is one of the best ways to learn, of course, but you did it, of course, the hard way. So let's hear a little bit about where your understanding of why it was important to be an inspirational leader came from.

3:42 Yeah, I was very much like most people thrown into leadership because I was an individual engineer. My boss called me one day and said, I'm gonna get promoted to vice president of sales and would you be interested in leaving the region. So it was a group of into twelve of us, just depending on how we organize the region in that given month. But I was very flattered and also very nervous. But I thought, how hard could leadership be? How can I do it all the time. Yeah. Yeah, So you know, like most of the folks that I know my clients, a lot of us get thrown in where the team is established.

4:28 And they were our peers at one point. And now all of a sudden, there's that dynamic shift, and sometimes it works. In most of the time, it at least from my experience, was awkward and I didn't really know how. To get the most out of the folks that I was managing. So yes, I very much learned the hard way, and six months in thought I was going to lose my job and get fired because the team went from top performing to worst performing. So that was when I really. Needed to open my eyes and say, I'm doing something wrong. Because if my boss could get promoted to vice president and I took over a team that was really working, that it has to be me. It's all the same people.

5:17 I can't even blame it on anyone else. So I had to look inside. Yeah, and I appreciate the numbers that you provided in regard to what really pushed the shift. So as you know, I read, you know, I read your book cover to cover as I do all my guests, and I was really interested when you wrote about after one particularly difficult quarter and only hitting a devastating sixty eight percent of the plan, that you were exhausted and sure of what you could what could do to turn things around. And the only thing that you said you could think of was you got a piece of paper and wrote down everything that was on your mind, all the blame, all the irritation present, when everything you had towards your people that was inside of you. So that shift, you could start talking about what you discovered when you wrote all that stuff down.

6:02 Yeah, it was a massive epiphany. I remember the disappointment in my boss's voice when he called the last day with order. I was in medical sales, so we can really quantify whether we're doing well or not. And that disappointment of like did you finish? Did you get any more sales in? And I'm like no, When we're sitting at sixty eight percent to plan, that was really hard. And so I sat that afternoon for three four hours on my living room floor and I just started writing. And I first wrote all of my frustration out and I recognized that I had a lot of frustration for every single person on my team. It was like, you know, one person and I thought, maybe wasn't reaching their full potential, and another person was maybe being a little lazy, and that was frustrating, and another person was maybe lacking confidence, and that was frustrating because I knew we had a really good product, and I didn't understand why people weren't naturally inclined.

7:12 To reach their full potential. So I sat and I wrote, and I wrote my frustration. With them, but also the company, the products, you know, my own boss, all those things right, and ultimately my frustration with myself, and pages of cathartic release on paper. It's pouring out of me. And ultimately, at the end of the day, I didn't want to fail. Yeah, And you know what it was really struck by with what you wrote, Valt, was you know, you talked about how, you know, here you are judging these people and you were treating them like disposable parts that were only there to help you achieve your goals, and you were ignoring the truth that they were real human beings who had goals and challenges of their own. And you said, if I wanted to be a real leader and get real results, I had to treat my people as valued assets.

8:05 I had to help them grow, enjoy their work, more reach their personal goals so that they could thrive, which is exactly what I wanted. And I think that's really important to recognize because you and I do very similar workfollow as we said before we got on air, and I totally resonated with every single word you wrote in this beautiful book and for you, though, to get to your at the bottom of the trench right, to get to that understanding and recognizing when everything was pointing back all those fingers were putting back to you. Yeah, they sure were. Yeah. I felt like. I was leading through frustration, which like a lot of us do, and we can get stuff done. I mean we can, you.

8:46 Know, I say it somewhere in the book, right, Well, we're going to go and go to meetings and we're going to send emails, But the energy behind it, when it's done with frustration or fear or worry or defeat or doubt or anything anything emotional that may limit us, is ultimately going to limit how we inspire others. So we have to get out of. Our own way. And that's what it was easy for people to do. It's hard to see our own blind spots. So in realizing that they weren't there to necessarily serve me. They were there to serve. The client, and they were there to make a difference in the job that they do. And if they really want to make a difference, then I need to understand why they're there.

9:39 And I started there. I really reconnected with people to understand why do they work in our company, what excites them, what fuels them, And I started to see their strengths in a different way. Instead of honing in on all the things they were doing wrong, I started to really appreciate what they were doing well and appreciate why they. Wanted to be at the organization. And that was the pivot, and the mindset shift was if I could focus more on what's working, then I'll get more of what's working. And so often we focus on what's not working, and we communicate from that place.

10:25 So made a decision, and it works. A wise decision. I would say, my friend, you know what a concept you said, I listened to more intently and encourage more enthusiastically. You said, mutual respect was growing and our team was uniting. People were collaborating more, supporting each other's ideas and celebrating each other's success. So you just, by the very nature what you chose to focus on what was good and right and strong, what you wanted to celebrate and develop, instead of what you thought maybe was wrong with people, you got totally different results. And I just really want to echo that, because it's easy to focus on what's wrong, especially when you're frustrated when things aren't going the way that you want, the results that you want. And yet you just really took a very pretty simple change of view to get these dynamic results.

11:10 Simple and yet powerful and profound. And it really snowballed from there once I started leaning into seeing each and every single one of them is a unique gift. And I quote that. I say people are not disposeful parts of their unique gifts, and it's our job as leaders to nurture those gifts. And that is one where we start to see people shine. It is no different than planning a flower and watching it grow. And you know, people say, oh, it doesn't work if you talk to your plants, but there's actually studies that show that talking to your plans helps them grow.

11:56 And we nurture it, we water it, we need it. And that comes in the form of not just praise of like great job, but truly seeing people better than they can see themselves. Sometimes absolutely you lead them to that place of their own potential greatness. Yes, I got to say two things to what we're talking about here. You heard me say before we got on air, and I think I mentioned it when I got on air. I just came back from from India today, and what a phenomenal experience were in Bengal. Were working with a team of fifteen and they were just, you know, eating it up. And I was like, have you ever had a session like this book? Because it was also a passionate inspiration and purpose And they said, never had anything like this in corporate America.

12:37 And yet the impact was so so so strong, you know, just you could just see that they were dynamically lit from the inside out. Now, of course we carry that forward. But then regarding plants, I mean, my daughter left behind one little, lonely little cactus, kind of an oriented plant, which he moved out in May of this year after college. And I had one other plant that I was sitting in the window and I thought, oh my gosh, there it's been here for weeks by itself, and I put it right next to the other plant in the window. And do you know, val, I mean, yes, I talked Twitter where you want to go on to get my coffee. But that little sweet plant that hadn't grown anything at all, had these new little sprouts, these new little nubs top and bottom, and it wrapped his little new arms around his new friend, the plant hanging on for dear life. Yeah, there is something to seeing people see, giving people the opportunity to connect, giving beings an opportunity to connect, to give them a place where they can be nurtured and shine.

13:30 It's it's everywhere this and it's so beautiful when you witness the stuff in your team and even in the you know, Listenmple, little plant you have growing in your window, so right there with your sister. That's great. Well, let's talk about what you mean by a chief inspiration officer. I love the fact that you've just called your book chief and inspiration officer. So in your view, from your definition, vow, what is it? Cio? Well, I mean every chapter when I was writing this book could have been its own book. I understand maybe that's where I had next, but I wanted a blueprint because I don't believe leadership is just about employee engagement, or just about communication, or just about emotional intelligence, like it all has to come together, and so I feel like a chief Inspiration officer can bring it all together.

14:21 But to simplify it, I see the intersection of three things coming together. One is the ability to know when to step away and not be the hero, and not be the one with all the answers, and not be the one telling everybody what to do, how to do it, when to do it, but truly to be intentional about being passive, and not passive because you're voidant, but passive because you know it's the best thing to watch somebody go try something, maybe fall down a few times, and then see the progress they make and great the progress they make, which then leads to the second thing, which is to be encouraging.

15:05 And I call it an encouraging cheerleader. But that's that's the ability to then see their gifts, vocalize what you see, show the team continuously what it is you're looking for, how you're looking for it, so you get more of that versus focusing on what you don't like and what you don't want. And then you balance that with the fact that you want a high performing team, so you recognize that it's okay to have high standards, and it's okay to push people out of their comfort zone and stretch them, not into panic zone, panic mode, but stretch them out of their comfort because when you believe in them and you see that they're capable.

15:51 Then you know that more is possible. So you're balancing all three and I tend to see leaders mean into one the other, but we do need authore. It's totally aligned, my friend, totally aligned and on. Then, so let's take our first break. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortez. We went on the Valeriees, the founder and CEO of Executive News, which and she's a seasonal executive coach and leadership trainer. We've been talking a bit about just where her desire to become an inspirational leader came from and frank in fact, we could say it was a need and really what she's done to develop that and teach others around the world to employ the same methodology that she learned for herself. After the record, I get into learning more about what employees really crave from their leaders stay what this will be Right back.

16:52 Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author. She helps companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infuse cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to a lease a lisee at elisecortes dot com. Now back to working on purpose.

17:43 Thanks for seeing with us, and welcome back to working on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor Aleaks Cortes, as I too, am dedicated to helping create a world where people realize their potential at work and are led by inspirational leaders that help them find to contribute their greatness. And we do business at Betters the world. I can use to research and write my own books. So one of my life came out in March of twenty twenty three. It's called the Great revitalization, how activating meaning and purpose can ratically enliven your business. And I ordered to help leaders understand the nature of today's workforce and wants, which probably relates quite closer to what vowe. We'll talk about with the craving. But then I also offer twenty two best practices to help you equip your organization and your culture to create that for them. You can find my books on Amazon. You can find more about them on my website at least quortest dot com and gustodeshnow dot com if you are just now joining us. My guest is Valies.

18:31 She's the author of Chief Inspiration Officer, How to Lead the Team Everyone Wants to Be On, which we've been talking about today. I love your acronyms. I've learned to become wed to acumyms a acronyms as well because they make things easier to remember. And I quite quite quite align with what you say. You say that to build a loyal, engaged, productive and collaborative team, give them what they crave. So let's talk about a little bit, a little bit in depth about each of those five aspects that relate to that at crave. Yeah, So when I sat on the living room floor and I was journaling my frustrations, I pivoted to thinking about all the leaders that I was really inspired by, whether it was directly or maybe just in the media, or anyone that I looked up to, and I started writing out the characteristics and traits of those leaders. And then as I was doing that, I decided to rate myself, and that was another big epiphany, like, oh wow, like I really crave these things, but I am not giving them back to my team, So that was really very eye opening for me. Of course, I wrote down many, many attributes. There was probably forty or fifty on the page, but I saw themes that were through in those, not acronyms,

20:03 but in those attributes, and that those themes started to pull together. So ultimately I was able to spell out. The acronym crave. So if your team is craving it and you give them what they crave, then you'll get back more of what you need and it's a win win for everyone involved. So the C. Stands for connection and community. We really do crave wanting to be a part of something, wanting to collaborate, wanting to know that someone, and sometimes multiple people have our back. And that. We truly are a team building a community. So how do we do that is outlined in the book. And they're also craving reliability. I mean, we want to know when we can count on our leader that they'll follow through, that they'll call us back, that they'll send that email, that they'll you know, anything that we need for that support, that they're there for us. So the reliability pieces being and then we move to the A of crave, which is appreciation. I mean we maybe we don't need it, you know, in person or in front of everybody, but we do want to feel like our work is being appreciated and the leader can vocalize what they see that they're liking, so we know we're on the same path and we're heading.

21:31 In the right direction. And then you hit the V of crave, which is the value part, knowing that you are connected to the purpose, the mission, the why of the organization. And then that leads to effective communication, which. Ninety one percent of folks will say that their leaders struggle with the key most important critical skill that they say that their leaders just lack. That's a very high number. We need to effectively communicate, not only how we do it our tone or approach, but how proactive we are, how transparent, and how inviting we are when we come to communicate. So and that lays the foundation for the rest of the book, where we then head into how to communicate.

22:22 So yeah, yeah, and I would definitely add an echo and I imagine you would agree with this too, is in that communication boocket too, is to the ability to be able to convey a message that what is it that we're up to? In other words, you know the vision of what it is that work has to do when we actually live and execute to our purpose, What does the world look like? What are we out to do together? I think so many leaders and don't you don't need to be charismatic to do this, but to be able to convey that message that says, this is what we're up to together, and in way that people people compelled that inspired by that and like, yeah, this is what we got why we got up today and why we're persevering so hard. I think a lot of leaders are really missing that element of effective communication as well.

23:12 Yeah, I agree, I think because of I mean I had it happened today with a client. They presented a policy change in front of the executive team, and they spent a lot of time with the consultant looking at this policy and it was actually a change in the comp plan and they got pushed back from the executive team and then they naturally went in and they got defensive, and then they pushed back and that other person pushed back and you see this this bitterness and this bickering and start to happen. And you know what I said to my client today was being an invite in instead of pushing away.

23:59 Yes, yes, model that, And we. Had a whole discussion on how to do that, because that's not any We want to put up our guard and you know, put boxing gloves on and prove our point. And it doesn't always happen so naturally, but when you can do that, when you can bite the conversation in, people are less defensive, there's more collaboration, there's more unity, more more ideas forming. So it's truly a skill. Agreed, I completely agree. And that goes really into really, you know, what you're talking about is really change management too, and so to be able to invite people and who are going to be affected by that change. Most executives and the team members on their teams. Yeah, inviting into that conversation to understand how is it going to change your world, impact your world, and get a conversation going around that versus just speaking at and hoping or expecting they'll just accept it. So that really speaks to really effective, empathetic, skilled communication.

25:01 MM agreed. Well, And then the next acronym we have to talk about, of course, is what happens when when leaders find themselves, you know, kind of stuck and they start getting they start going into their own their old ways, and maybe they're frustrated, they feel like they're on the spot, like you did, they're grasping for results and they don't know know quite what you do, so they find themselves in what you call the cave, which I think is just brilliant. And so before we get into what you mean by the cave the acronym that it stands for, I would love for you just to really help us understand, as you did so beautifully in the book, what it feels like when leaders find themselves in that cave. What's going on with they're amygdala everything else. If you can kind of lay that out for us.

25:46 Sure, I mean, if we just simplistically, look at the brain. There's and we look at the two parts. There's the fight or flight which we all know, or freeze. That's where the mingdala hangs out there to protect us from rejection, pain, not feeling valued, anything like that where we might perceive a threat. Obviously it was through evolution. It's their related to protect us from the bears and the cave men that are fighting for food. But now it's like bad traffic or an angry boss or something like that, so they may it gets.

26:28 You know, it gets activated. And when that happens in front of our brain where the executive function lives, where that's the creativity, the solutions, the open mindedness, shut down, and where we are overridden with the mean to defend or blame or shut down and get passive or passive appressive. So it's really important that we recognize that in our else and we make a conscious choice to shift otherwise will go into. What I call the gave.

27:09 I think that's so so important, and I think what you also outlined in your book, which is when leaders are they're on stage right, there's a lot on your shoulders. You have results that you need to produce and it's a lot of pressure. And then you can also go into these you know, storytelling modes where you feel like everybody's out to get you, and people trying to sabotage your results and all these things. So I appreciate that you also specify in your book, you say when you're faced with a threat, real or imagined, right, And those stories are imagined, but they're very very potent. Right. Then you go on to say that you react without thought or considerations by fighting, fleeing, or freezing, and so I do think and then lashing out angrily. These are all These are all ladies and gentlemen. You can start to recognize if you're doing these things, you probably are in a cave. And so that means that you feel some kind of threat here. If you're starting to blame or criticize or judge people or and certainly you know, throw an outlash at them, you probably are feeling this way of being in the cave. So now let's talk about what cave stands for. So what's cave?

28:15 Yeah, I mean all the listeners out there, if you are feeling triggered or you're feeling overwhelmed by anything. The first thing I would say, is just recognize and write down the emotions that are showing up. So if I go back to this client familiar today, you know, she was frustrated that people were arguing with her plan. I mean, she spent a lot of time on it, and so she was irritated and annoyed. And we got all that out first and foremost, and then we just work through the cave. I asked her what she and who she is criticizing when people are maybe disagreeing with her, arguing or pushing back. You know, she recognized, well, I guess I might be critical sizing things like, you know that they're not being mindful of me, that they're being disrespectful. Right, So the c stands for how we may criticize and judge others. Then from there we move to assumptions. So what are you assuming about the team as a whole?

29:21 She was saying things like, we're not cohesive, we're dysfunctional, we're not respectful towards each other. Right, So we're making a lot of assumptions, and a lot of times those assumptions kind of seem like they're one hundred percent true one hundred percent of the time, So they tend to take over. And then the v is our victim mindset. I mean, we all do it. It's our inner critic that comes in and says, I'm failing somehow, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart. Enough, it's some sort of I'm not X enough. And when that creeps. In, like it feels like it just takes over and then the ease. That's what I call our enclosed patterns.

30:02 That is our pattern of behavior that encloses us. It kind of puts us into that cave where we want to protect and it's a pattern that may help us in the short term but not in the long term. So it could look like. Going passive, aggressive, tiptoeing people, pleasing, worrying, trying to perfect, getting defensive, venting, arguing, anything like that. And these are patterns that actually don't. Help us be inspirational leaders in that moment because we lose our footing and our executive function will shut down.

30:43 So the first step is to recognize when you're in the cave, and sometimes that's enough just to create a new pathway response in the brain to take a different approach in the moment. But working through that is a really really helpful M. M. All right, so ladies and gentlemen, to lay something on you that's probably going to feel a little bit heavy and intense, but it's it's accurate. And this came to me from my friend and colleague, Bob Chapman, who is the CEO of Barry Way Miller. They are a manufacturing company outside of in the Midwest. And he does he quotes this person that says, and this is somebody from the CDC sent for disease control, who says that your mental health is directly related to your manager. Your mental health is directly relatedship manager something like that. That's not the exact quote, but the point being is that you as a manager and all that stuff you're carrying around, all those frustrations, you being in the cave has a direct proportional impact on your people's mental health and well being.

31:49 And you, as you say, that's cascaded through the emails that you're checking and responding to, how you're attending emails, how you're doing the rest of your work. You know, you're not fully present and engaging, et cetera. And then guess what, that same person goes home and now whatever that experience has been gets cascaded on their loved ones, the family, dog, the children, et cetera. So I really just want to stress how important the role of being a manager and a leader is and why this why believe so much in your work, my work, and I just really want to make sure that people are really getting just the significance of what we're talking about here and just how far it travels. Absolutely, it's a really great point.

32:29 Yeah, and may feel like that's a lot more pressure on the leader, but the reality is is that we're in a position and influence and inspire and be role models for how we do that, and that could be also may feel like a lot of pressure, but it can also feel very rewarding if we work with it in the correct way. Completely great, and we'll get to that next right. Don't worry. I won't let us hang out there in the negative zone because that's not where I want to do all either. All right, let's grab our last break. I'm your host, doctor Elise court Has. We're on the air with Vile Reez, founder and CEO of Executive Use. She's a seasoned executive coach and leadership trainer. We've been talking a bit about what employees crave from their employe from their leaders and their workplaces, as well as what leaders often find themselves stuck in, and that is the cave. After the break, we're going to get to the place where we're going to talk about the road to freedom as leader and how we can get you to that place where you feel fulfilled instead of so much pressure that you don't want to actually go on. We'll be right back.

33:44 Doctor Elise court haz is a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies visioneer for a greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Elise A lisee at eliscortes dot com. Now back to working on purpose.

34:36 Thanks for sting with us and welcome back. Welcome back to working on purpose. I'm your host, doctor Release Cortes. I mentioned in the last break that my latest book came out in March of twenty twenty three. It's called The Great Revitalization. What I did for you is I created a free three page organizational assessment for you to download off my site gustodeshnaw dot com. And that will help you understand extend to which you are providing the culture that people actually want to work in today. And we'll give you a strong roadmap as to how to take things forward in the right direction if you are just now joining us. My guest is val Reice. She's the author of Chief Inspiration Officer, How to Lead the Team everyone wants to be on. So for this next bit here, the last segment that we have here, valid just really want to get more further into us. We said, we don't want to leave our listeners and viewers worried and handringing that what have I gotten myself into in this leadership Rolee? Is it too late to give it back? Right?

35:23 Because it's so much fulfillment And I can tell you listeners and viewers just being an India with the team this last week incredibly radically fulfilling to get to know that the wearing work that we're talking about, Valinarra talking about here being able to pour that into the people and seeing them fill up and enlarge in front of my very very eyes, and hearing the feedback of what this has meant for them. It is incredibly fulfilling. You will change people's lives for the better if you step on this path. So let's now talk a little bit more about you know, you also mentioned the importance of being able to recognize your emotions. You talked about too, but I also think it's interesting that you talk about the importance of not just not being reactive, but also being proactive. Can you say a bit more about that.

36:13 Well, a lot of times we want to avoid difficult things or conflict, so it's easy to not to. To avoid it, and then when it finally is in your face and you can now we're reactive. So what if we were proactive? What if we have the tools and the confidence to actually be transparent and knew that the way we handled the situation could actually need to a better result, even if the other person is a history has a history of being defensive. So we definitely want to lean into being more proactive than reactive.

36:58 You know, one of the things we in the session when I was in India was just that this, you know, we talked about, of course Thomas Killeman's five five styles of navigating conflict, all of which have their place, but one of them, of course is avoiding, and certainly as a leader, that almost almost always doesn't serve as well. Right, So being the need to be able to somehow respond in a productive, empathetic way is just really important. ILD just want to encourage people on the journey of leadership whereever they are in this. So I really applaud an embrace your notion of being proactive in that way. And then of course we can't you have a whole chapter on the road to freedom as a leader. And so I just one of the things that I said when I was working with his team, because I work closely with the CEO who's here in the United States and he's originally he's Indian of origin, and then of course he has a US based team and an India based team, And what I said was, when we do this stuff, well we don't need you as much. You do become free, right, And so I just think it's really interesting when you also line on that is, you know, you started talking about your relationship with your direct reports improved. You recognized her talents and advocated for promotions and raises when they knew that I had their backs and so they had yours as well. And that's how good teams unite. And that's definitely freedom if you can just speak a bit more to the beauty of that and kind of how you get there.

38:23 I think that, you know, when we first opened up this conversation, we talked about that mindset that everyone has a gift. And I think about a friend of mine, Jen, who we were chatting the other day. She remembers that when she was in high school, she had she had one student of the month. So there were eight months, there were eight students, and she was one of the students that got to put They. Put her picture on the wall and then they put. A reason why they made her student of the month during their quoto, and the teachers all got together and voted and they said things like she was driven, and she was hard working and a very caring person. And Jen said to me, it's so interesting because I didn't see these things in myself. I mean, I was a teenager diving with insecurity and self doubt, but my teachers saw me for who I am, and that's that's a really cool right when we can see somebody better than they can see themselves.

39:34 So I think there's something to that. When we look at helping somebody get out of their own way, and also in recognizing that just like you get stuck in a cave, your teams going to get stuck in a cave. So we have to help them out, and the best way to help them out is a question. And I took a coach approach in the. Entire book because is it's a very inviting way to empower people. And so we want to help people see like how might you be showing up at this moment, and how might you stock what might you be telling yourself and help them out of the cave that way by first helping them see it and then the questions to get them out, which are outlined in the book as well.

40:27 So one of the other things that I think really bears celebrating, since it's in the chapter on the Road to Freedom as a leader, is that embracing the approach that you put forward, what it does, is it naturally reads out people that are toxic. They don't want to be in that kind of environment. It's positive people are helping each other. You know, they can't raise the eye of other people. They raise an ir to raise when they naturally leave because this isn't where they want to be. So I think that's also god to be something that leaders want to hear is Wow, it will be great to be able to help move those people out that just really aren't good fits and aren't happy anyway. I'll come to the surface really quickly. Yeah yeah, Well, then now this next part here that I want to go to, which is really really a part of my heart, val and that's your chapter on guiding your team to their full potential. You know, there's a reason I'm an organizational psychologist. I'm not a clinical psychologist.

41:16 I'm not an abnormal psychologist. I focus on the world of work, and the reason I do that is I believe in the power and potency of work to catalyze us into our full potential, and I believe it can be a fantastic playground, especially when it's led by great leaders who help us understand more of who we are and what we can be. So I really appreciate that. You know, you start by saying that the best way to get your team to not be limited by the cave is to listen, to acknowledge and ask, opening into questions that help them see a different perspective and take a new path forward. And one of the things that I love about your whole book, as you say, it's coaching all the way through. You're coaching us all the way through this thing, and that's coaching one oh one.

41:56 So let's just talk a little bit about your perspective and some of your guidance that you give on helping to bring people to their full potential. Well, number one, believe in them. Number two, get curious with them, and number three see their strengths and vocalize what you see. So, for example, if you have somebody who's struggling, and I'll just use my own example of hitting sales numbers, you know, it's you know, talk to me, tell me how you're feeling about the pressure, the goals, and you invite them in to have this conversation. You're not trying to fix anything or tell them what to do or anything like that.

42:40 You're just sitting down and you're saying, where are you getting stuck? Yep, you're trying to understand is it their mindset? Is there? Is it their activity? Is it? You know, before you even offer anything. And then you want to ask them because you go in with the thought that they have the answers within and you're a catalyst to just pull it out of them. So you're asking them. You know, listen, you are hired for a reason. You bring all of these strengths, whatever that is. You know, knowledge, resource care, compassion, dedication, experience. Choose two or three right, and you say, listen, you came in with all this experience and all this passion and dedication.

43:32 How can you utilize that in this situation right now? Get them thinking, get them empowered. That's how you start helping them reach their full potential. You believe in them and you guide them to see that. You guide them to come up with those answers. Now, if they're stuck, you as a leader, are knowing what it is that the behaviors that really help drive momentum, things like collaboration or passion or thoroughness. Let's say you can plant those seeds and say, hey, I know that success really comes with thoroughness in this role, what are the things you think you need to do to be more thorough And that's just an example of how you may then infuse your vision and then ultimately ask them the question of how they're going to get there. But that's how you do it, and it's you know, it's it's.

44:38 It's not pulling them, it's not pushing them. It is like standing next to them and sometimes you're in front and sometimes you're behind, sometimes you're on the sideline, just depending. It's knowing how to help them up the mountain. And one thing I'm very present to when it comes to guiding people to pull the potential is most people never get the gift of really being listened to, and it is people crave being her back to your connection piece, people crave being listened to, understood, appreciated, valued, And when you can do that, when you can see things and you can vocalize that, whatever form that takes, whether that's written or oral, it is one of the most beautiful things that can happen between human beings. And I just want to echo that out to the number of times that I've gotten to experience that. And when you do that with someone you get to see their monocles change in front of your very eyes, and there you touch their soul and that is really beautiful. And talk about fulfillment and worth working toward worth being the human that can do that all the way. And I've had people, by the way, few people have listened to the show for a while. I heard me tell the story. You know a boss that totally could see things and made vocalize them to me in ways that even my parents couldn't.

45:55 And he totally and radically changed my life for the better because he could vocalize that, and I stepped into the vision he cast for me, and because of that, he radically changed my life for the better. Saved me twice. Yeah, save me twice. Yeah. Stuff works. Well, let's bring this bit home here. I think we've been talking a bit about the you know, possibilities here and potential and helping our own persons get out of the cave so that we can give people what they crave in the workplace. I think your last chapter on mastering the art of challenging conversations definitely bears a finish here for us, because I think a lot of leaders struggle with how do I talk about the heart stuff. Okay, this stuff about being great and having potential, that sounds I can do that.

46:39 But this stuff about having challenging conversations with people aren't performing or maybe they're just not getting it or whatever. How do I have those conversations? That? I really like your three part model? So let's talk our listeners and viewers through that. Yeah, So it's. It's you know, traditionally, right when you think about communication, were thought the sandwich method, like if a positive and then a negative, and then a positive. But we definitely when we go in have a difficult conversation, we want to have intention of what's working, so that's always good, and we. Want to address what's not.

47:21 The difference in my model is that we also want to lead them towards where we want to go. And that's the key. So when the three part model is thought for your hope, thought is either not a judgment or an opinion. It's more of an observation of what you see happening. So for example, you may say something like, had noticed in today's meeting there was a lot of arguing back and forth, and I wanted to check in, right, So we're stating the observation of what you're noticing.

48:03 Then we move to the fear, which is if we. Feel the need to talk about that, then there's usually some sort of concern we have about the issue and the impact that that issue can have on the team. So that's our chance to say, you know, I'm concerned that bickering in a team environment like that can really drag down the morale of the team. So we're addressing the situation where we're not blaming anyone, we're not pointing fingers, but we're being transparent. And then the third part of the formula, which is the hope. Is what do you hope to see differently?

48:45 And so in this case, it would be, you know, my hope is that even if we agree to disagree, that we're respectful in kind and we get along and I would really. Like to see that moving forward. And then we wrap that up with you know, what are your thoughts? How can you get there? And so that model creates a very disarming and I do call it in my in my trainings now, I call it disarming communication. It's trademarked and all. To invite people into the conversation in a way that does not happen. That is a beautiful way to close the conversation.

49:28 Vow. I can't tell you much. I'm grateful that our common friend connected us. And when I found out you have this book out of look you got to come on the show and talk about it. I'm happy to know you share what you're doing the role with our listeners and viewers across the globe. Thank you for being on working on purpose. Thank you for having me. Very welcome. Listeners and viewers you're going to you want to learn more about Valerie's and the work she's doing and Executive News and her book Chief Inspiration Officer. So the best place to start to visit her is executive dash news dot com. So that's Executive Dash m U s E dot com. Last week. If you missed the live show, you can always catch it in your recorded a podcast where you get your podcasts. We were on air with Piem Zamani, the author of Crossing the Desert, where he tells the story of immigrating to the US after being religiously persecuted for his high faith, learning the English at age sixteen and fully embracing the American system and dream to be what you make of yourself no matter what. He and his brother went on to found their first company, Autoweb, and took IPO public and around the nineteen ninety six period, and then went on to found several other organizations and today Pim leads One Planet Group.

50:35 His story will inspire you and he will encourage you to chase after your own dreams and drop the excuses that you have. We all have those excuses. Next week will be on the air with Christy Petzinger talking about how she built her company helping healthcare companies create empowering information on their websites for their patients and did so through kindness, self awareness, and vulnerability. See you there, Remember that work is one of the best means and realize that listening our potential excuse me one so one of the greatest adventures and means rule us air potential and making an impact. We craine, so let's work on Purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to tune into Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes, each week on W four CY. Together we'll create a world where business operates conscientiously. Leadership inspires and passion, performance and employees are fulfilled in work that provides the meaning and purpose. They crave see you there. Let's work on purpose.