Oct. 8, 2024

Want a High-Performance Team? Become a Chief Inspiration Officer

Want a High-Performance Team? Become a Chief Inspiration Officer

By now most leaders have accepted they must move beyond the old stayed “command and control” ways and allow their team members more autonomy and to develop a sense of mastery to do their work well while taking pride in their doing so. Enter the Chief...

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By now most leaders have accepted they must move beyond the old stayed “command and control” ways and allow their team members more autonomy and to develop a sense of mastery to do their work well while taking pride in their doing so. Enter the Chief Inspiration Officer: “a leader who, rather than giving orders and telling you what to do, inspires, guides, encourages, and challenges you, then gets out of your way so you can find your own path and grow doing it.”

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The topics and opinions express in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

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answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose

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at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their

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lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization

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that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their

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highest potential. Business can be such a force for good

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in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide

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guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we

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all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, doctor

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Elise Cortez.

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Welcome back to the Working on Purpose program, which has

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been brought to you with passionate pride since February of

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twenty fifteen. Great to have you. Thanks joining again this week.

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I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes, joining you live from Dallas, Texas.

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If we've not met before and you don't know me,

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I'm an organizational psychologist and local therapist, speaker and author.

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My team and I at Gusto Now help companies to

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inlign and fortify their operations by building a culture and

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leadership activated by meaning and purpose. Our mission is to

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help our clients create a destination workplace where people flock

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to join, are intrigionally motivated to perform at their best,

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can grow into their fuller potential, and are committed to

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stay at dinnertic delilver on the company's mission, which translates

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to higher profits for you. You can learn more about

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us and how we can work together at Gusto dashnow

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dot com or my personal site at least Coortes dot com.

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Before we get into today's program, I am thrilled to

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announce that registration is now open for a fabulous new

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conference for women for which I'll serve as the MC.

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use my promo code of Gusto all in caps Gusto

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be gifty regisents for that conference. See you there now

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getting into today's program we have with us. Val Rees

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She is the founder and CEO of Executive Muse. She's

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a seasoned executive coach and leadership trainer and the author

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of Chief Inspiration Offer Officer, How to Lead the Team

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everyone wants to be on which will be talking about today.

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She joined today from San Jose, California. Val Hearty, Welcome

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to Working on Purpose.

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Thank you for having me.

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I real it so welcome. A couple of things, A

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couple of housekeeping things here listeners, viewers, Apologies for my voice.

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I just came back from about nine days in Bangalore, India,

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where I was working with a client to develop and

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train their team, and I got not just one but

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two bugs. So my voice is a little bit weird.

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And the second housekeeping item is vale am I saying

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your last name right, Rece Yeah, good job, okay, good okay,

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cool cool cool? All right, well's dive in. So I

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want to start with just your own story of discovering

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the need for becoming an inspirational leader. You figured this

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out on the job, which is one of the best

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ways to learn, of course, but you did it, of course,

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the hard way. So let's hear a little bit about

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where your understanding of why it was important to be

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an inspirational leader came from.

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Yeah, I was very much like most people thrown into

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leadership because I was an individual engineer. My boss called

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me one day and said, I'm gonna get promoted to

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vice president of sales and would you be interested in

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leaving the region. So it was a group of into

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twelve of us, just depending on how we organize the

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region in that given month. But I was very flattered

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and also very nervous. But I thought, how hard could

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leadership be?

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How can I do it all the time. Yeah.

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Yeah, So you know, like most of the folks that

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I know my clients, a lot of us get thrown

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in where the team is established.

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And they were our peers at one point.

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And now all of a sudden, there's that dynamic shift,

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and sometimes it works. In most of the time, it

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at least from my experience, was awkward and I didn't

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really know how.

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To get the most out of the folks that I

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was managing.

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So yes, I very much learned the hard way, and

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six months in thought I was going to lose my

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job and get fired because the team went from top

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performing to worst performing.

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So that was when I really.

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Needed to open my eyes and say, I'm doing something wrong.

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Because if my boss could get promoted to vice president

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and I took over a team that was really working,

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that it has to be me. It's all the same people.

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I can't even blame it on anyone else.

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So I had to look inside.

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Yeah, and I appreciate the numbers that you provided in

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regard to what really pushed the shift. So as you know,

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I read, you know, I read your book cover to

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cover as I do all my guests, and I was

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really interested when you wrote about after one particularly difficult

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quarter and only hitting a devastating sixty eight percent of

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the plan, that you were exhausted and sure of what

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you could what could do to turn things around. And

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the only thing that you said you could think of

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was you got a piece of paper and wrote down

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everything that was on your mind, all the blame, all

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the irritation present, when everything you had towards your people

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that was inside of you. So that shift, you could

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start talking about what you discovered when you wrote all

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that stuff down.

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Yeah, it was a massive epiphany.

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I remember the disappointment in my boss's voice when he

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called the last day with order. I was in medical sales,

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so we can really quantify whether we're doing well or not.

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And that disappointment of like did you finish? Did you

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get any more sales in?

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And I'm like no, When we're sitting at sixty eight

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percent to plan, that was really hard. And so I

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sat that afternoon for three four hours on my living

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room floor and I just started writing. And I first

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wrote all of my frustration out and I recognized that

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I had a lot of frustration for every single person

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on my team. It was like, you know, one person

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and I thought, maybe wasn't reaching their full potential, and

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another person was maybe being a little lazy, and that

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was frustrating, and another person was maybe lacking confidence, and

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that was frustrating because I knew we had a really

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good product, and I didn't understand why people weren't naturally inclined.

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To reach their full potential. So I sat and I wrote,

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and I wrote my frustration.

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With them, but also the company, the products, you know,

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my own boss, all those things right, and ultimately my

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frustration with myself, and pages of cathartic release on paper.

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It's pouring out of me. And ultimately, at the end

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of the day, I didn't want to fail.

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Yeah, And you know what it was really struck by

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with what you wrote, Valt, was you know, you talked

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about how, you know, here you are judging these people

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and you were treating them like disposable parts that were

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only there to help you achieve your goals, and you

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were ignoring the truth that they were real human beings

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who had goals and challenges of their own. And you said,

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if I wanted to be a real leader and get

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real results, I had to treat my people as valued assets.

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I had to help them grow, enjoy their work, more

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reach their personal goals so that they could thrive, which

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is exactly what I wanted. And I think that's really

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important to recognize because you and I do very similar

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workfollow as we said before we got on air, and

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I totally resonated with every single word you wrote in

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this beautiful book and for you, though, to get to

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your at the bottom of the trench right, to get

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to that understanding and recognizing when everything was pointing back

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all those fingers were putting back to you.

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Yeah, they sure were.

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Yeah.

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I felt like.

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I was leading through frustration, which like a lot of

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us do, and we can get stuff done.

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I mean we can, you.

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Know, I say it somewhere in the book, right, Well,

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we're going to go and go to meetings and we're

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going to send emails, But the energy behind it, when

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it's done with frustration or fear or worry or defeat

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or doubt or anything anything emotional that may limit us,

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is ultimately going to limit how we inspire others.

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So we have to get out of.

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Our own way. And that's what it was easy for

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people to do. It's hard to see our own blind spots.

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So in realizing that they weren't there to necessarily serve me.

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They were there to serve.

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The client, and they were there to make a difference

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in the job that they do. And if they really

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want to make a difference, then I need to understand

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why they're there.

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And I started there.

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I really reconnected with people to understand why do they

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work in our company, what excites them, what fuels them,

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And I started to see their strengths in a different way.

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Instead of honing in on all the things they were

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doing wrong, I started to really appreciate what they were

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doing well and appreciate why they.

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Wanted to be at the organization.

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And that was the pivot, and the mindset shift was

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if I could focus more on what's working, then I'll

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get more of what's working. And so often we focus

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on what's not working, and we communicate from that place.

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So made a decision, and it works.

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A wise decision. I would say, my friend, you know

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what a concept you said, I listened to more intently

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and encourage more enthusiastically. You said, mutual respect was growing

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and our team was uniting. People were collaborating more, supporting

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each other's ideas and celebrating each other's success. So you just,

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by the very nature what you chose to focus on

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what was good and right and strong, what you wanted

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to celebrate and develop, instead of what you thought maybe

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was wrong with people, you got totally different results. And

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I just really want to echo that, because it's easy

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to focus on what's wrong, especially when you're frustrated when

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things aren't going the way that you want, the results

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that you want. And yet you just really took a

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very pretty simple change of view to get these dynamic results.

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Simple and yet powerful and profound. And it really snowballed

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from there once I started leaning into seeing each and

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every single one of them is a unique gift.

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And I quote that.

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I say people are not disposeful parts of their unique gifts,

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and it's our job as leaders to nurture those gifts.

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And that is one where we start to see people shine.

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It is no different than planning a flower and watching

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it grow. And you know, people say, oh, it doesn't

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work if you talk to your plants, but there's actually

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studies that show that talking to your plans helps them grow.

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And we nurture it, we water it, we need it.

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And that comes in the form of not just praise

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of like great job, but truly seeing people better than

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they can see themselves.

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Sometimes absolutely you lead them to that place of their

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own potential greatness. Yes, I got to say two things

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to what we're talking about here. You heard me say

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before we got on air, and I think I mentioned

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it when I got on air. I just came back

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from from India today, and what a phenomenal experience were

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in Bengal. Were working with a team of fifteen and

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they were just, you know, eating it up. And I

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was like, have you ever had a session like this book?

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Because it was also a passionate inspiration and purpose And

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they said, never had anything like this in corporate America.

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And yet the impact was so so so strong, you know,

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just you could just see that they were dynamically lit

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from the inside out. Now, of course we carry that forward.

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But then regarding plants, I mean, my daughter left behind

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one little, lonely little cactus, kind of an oriented plant,

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which he moved out in May of this year after college.

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And I had one other plant that I was sitting

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in the window and I thought, oh my gosh, there

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it's been here for weeks by itself, and I put

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it right next to the other plant in the window.

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And do you know, val, I mean, yes, I talked

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Twitter where you want to go on to get my coffee.

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But that little sweet plant that hadn't grown anything at all,

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had these new little sprouts, these new little nubs top

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and bottom, and it wrapped his little new arms around

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his new friend, the plant hanging on for dear life. Yeah,

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there is something to seeing people see, giving people the

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opportunity to connect, giving beings an opportunity to connect, to

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give them a place where they can be nurtured and shine.

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It's it's everywhere this and it's so beautiful when you

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witness the stuff in your team and even in the

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you know, Listenmple, little plant you have growing in your window,

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so right there with your sister.

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That's great.

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Well, let's talk about what you mean by a chief

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inspiration officer. I love the fact that you've just called

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your book chief and inspiration officer. So in your view,

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from your definition, vow, what is it? Cio?

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Well, I mean every chapter when I was writing this

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book could have been its own book. I understand maybe

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that's where I had next, but I wanted a blueprint

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because I don't believe leadership is just about employee engagement,

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or just about communication, or just about emotional intelligence, like

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it all has to come together, and so I feel

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like a chief Inspiration officer can bring it all together.

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But to simplify it, I see the intersection of three

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things coming together. One is the ability to know when

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to step away and not be the hero, and not

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be the one with all the answers, and not be

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the one telling everybody what to do, how to do it,

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when to do it, but truly to be intentional about

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being passive, and not passive because you're voidant, but passive

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because you know it's the best thing to watch somebody

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go try something, maybe fall down a few times, and

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then see the progress they make and great the progress

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they make, which then leads to the second thing, which

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is to be encouraging.

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And I call it an encouraging cheerleader.

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But that's that's the ability to then see their gifts,

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vocalize what you see, show the team continuously what it

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is you're looking for, how you're looking for it, so

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you get more of that versus focusing on what you

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don't like and what you don't want. And then you

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balance that with the fact that you want a high

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performing team, so you recognize that it's okay to have

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high standards, and it's okay to push people out of

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their comfort zone and stretch them, not into panic zone,

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panic mode, but stretch them out of their comfort because

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when you believe in them and you see that they're capable.

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Then you know that more is possible.

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So you're balancing all three and I tend to see

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leaders mean into one the other, but we do need authore.

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It's totally aligned, my friend, totally aligned and on. Then,

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so let's take our first break. I'm your host, doctor

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Elise Cortez. We went on the Valeriees, the founder and

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CEO of Executive News, which and she's a seasonal executive

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coach and leadership trainer. We've been talking a bit about

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just where her desire to become an inspirational leader came

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from and frank in fact, we could say it was

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a need and really what she's done to develop that

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and teach others around the world to employ the same

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methodology that she learned for herself. After the record, I

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get into learning more about what employees really crave from

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their leaders stay what this will be Right back.

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Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

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and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author. She helps companies

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visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired

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leadership and meaning infuse cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and

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commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite

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a lease to speak to your organization, please visit her

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at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get

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your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose

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with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or

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to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to

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a lease a lisee at elisecortes dot com. Now back

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to working on purpose.

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Thanks for seeing with us, and welcome back to working

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on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor Aleaks Cortes, as I too,

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am dedicated to helping create a world where people realize

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their potential at work and are led by inspirational leaders

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that help them find to contribute their greatness. And we

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do business at Betters the world. I can use to

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research and write my own books. So one of my

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life came out in March of twenty twenty three. It's

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called the Great revitalization, how activating meaning and purpose can

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ratically enliven your business. And I ordered to help leaders

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understand the nature of today's workforce and wants, which probably

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relates quite closer to what vowe. We'll talk about with

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the craving. But then I also offer twenty two best

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practices to help you equip your organization and your culture

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to create that for them. You can find my books

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on Amazon. You can find more about them on my

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website at least quortest dot com and gustodeshnow dot com

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if you are just now joining us. My guest is Valies.

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She's the author of Chief Inspiration Officer, How to Lead

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the Team Everyone Wants to Be On, which we've been

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talking about today. I love your acronyms. I've learned to

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become wed to acumyms a acronyms as well because they

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make things easier to remember. And I quite quite quite

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align with what you say. You say that to build

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a loyal, engaged, productive and collaborative team, give them what

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they crave. So let's talk about a little bit, a

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little bit in depth about each of those five aspects

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that relate to that at crave.

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Yeah, So when I sat on the living room floor

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and I was journaling my frustrations, I pivoted to thinking

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about all the leaders that I was really inspired by,

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whether it was directly or maybe just in the media,

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or anyone that I looked up to, and I started

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writing out the characteristics and traits of those leaders. And

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then as I was doing that, I decided to rate myself,

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and that was another big epiphany, like, oh wow, like

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I really crave these things, but I am not giving

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them back to my team, So that was really very

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eye opening for me. Of course, I wrote down many,

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many attributes. There was probably forty or fifty on the page,

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but I saw themes that were through in those, not acronyms,

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but in those attributes, and that those themes started to

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pull together. So ultimately I was able to spell out.

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The acronym crave.

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So if your team is craving it and you give

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them what they crave, then you'll get back more of

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what you need and it's a win win for everyone involved.

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So the C.

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Stands for connection and community. We really do crave wanting

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to be a part of something, wanting to collaborate, wanting

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to know that someone, and sometimes multiple people have our back.

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And that.

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We truly are a team building a community. So how

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do we do that is outlined in the book. And

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they're also craving reliability. I mean, we want to know

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when we can count on our leader that they'll follow through,

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that they'll call us back, that they'll send that email,

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that they'll you know, anything that we need for that support,

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that they're there for us. So the reliability pieces being

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and then we move to the A of crave, which

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is appreciation. I mean we maybe we don't need it,

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you know, in person or in front of everybody, but

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we do want to feel like our work is being

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appreciated and the leader can vocalize what they see that

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they're liking, so we know we're on the same path

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and we're heading.

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In the right direction.

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And then you hit the V of crave, which is

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the value part, knowing that you are connected to the purpose,

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the mission, the why of the organization.

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And then that leads to effective communication, which.

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Ninety one percent of folks will say that their leaders

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struggle with the key most important critical skill that they

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say that their leaders just lack.

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That's a very high number.

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We need to effectively communicate, not only how we do

401
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it our tone or approach, but how proactive we are,

402
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how transparent, and how inviting we are when we come

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to communicate. So and that lays the foundation for the

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rest of the book, where we then head into how

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to communicate.

406
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So yeah, yeah, and I would definitely add an echo

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and I imagine you would agree with this too, is

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in that communication boocket too, is to the ability to

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be able to convey a message that what is it

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that we're up to? In other words, you know the

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vision of what it is that work has to do

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when we actually live and execute to our purpose, What

413
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does the world look like? What are we out to

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do together? I think so many leaders and don't you

415
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don't need to be charismatic to do this, but to

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be able to convey that message that says, this is

417
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what we're up to together, and in way that people

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people compelled that inspired by that and like, yeah, this

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is what we got why we got up today and

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why we're persevering so hard. I think a lot of

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leaders are really missing that element of effective communication as well.

422
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Yeah, I agree, I think because of I mean I

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had it happened today with a client. They presented a

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policy change in front of the executive team, and they

425
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spent a lot of time with the consultant looking at

426
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this policy and it was actually a change in the

427
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comp plan and they got pushed back from the executive

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team and then they naturally went in and they got defensive,

429
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and then they pushed back and that other person pushed

430
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back and you see this this bitterness and this bickering

431
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and start to happen. And you know what I said

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to my client today was being an invite in instead

433
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of pushing away.

434
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Yes, yes, model that, And we.

435
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:06.960
Had a whole discussion on how to do that, because

436
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:09.559
that's not any We want to put up our guard

437
00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:13.359
and you know, put boxing gloves on and prove our point.

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And it doesn't always happen so naturally, but when you

439
00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:20.519
can do that, when you can bite the conversation in,

440
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people are less defensive, there's more collaboration, there's more unity,

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more more ideas forming.

442
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So it's truly a skill.

443
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:33.599
Agreed, I completely agree. And that goes really into really,

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you know, what you're talking about is really change management too,

445
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and so to be able to invite people and who

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are going to be affected by that change. Most executives

447
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and the team members on their teams. Yeah, inviting into

448
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that conversation to understand how is it going to change

449
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your world, impact your world, and get a conversation going

450
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:52.960
around that versus just speaking at and hoping or expecting

451
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they'll just accept it. So that really speaks to really effective, empathetic,

452
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skilled communication.

453
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MM agreed.

454
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Well, And then the next acronym we have to talk about,

455
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of course, is what happens when when leaders find themselves,

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you know, kind of stuck and they start getting they

457
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start going into their own their old ways, and maybe

458
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they're frustrated, they feel like they're on the spot, like

459
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:22.400
you did, they're grasping for results and they don't know

460
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know quite what you do, so they find themselves in

461
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what you call the cave, which I think is just brilliant.

462
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And so before we get into what you mean by

463
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the cave the acronym that it stands for, I would

464
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love for you just to really help us understand, as

465
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you did so beautifully in the book, what it feels

466
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like when leaders find themselves in that cave. What's going

467
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on with they're amygdala everything else. If you can kind

468
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of lay that out for us.

469
00:25:46.279 --> 00:25:50.160
Sure, I mean, if we just simplistically, look at the brain.

470
00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:53.480
There's and we look at the two parts. There's the

471
00:25:53.559 --> 00:25:56.799
fight or flight which we all know, or freeze. That's

472
00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:01.640
where the mingdala hangs out there to protect us from rejection, pain,

473
00:26:03.319 --> 00:26:08.359
not feeling valued, anything like that where we might perceive

474
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:14.559
a threat. Obviously it was through evolution. It's their related

475
00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:17.240
to protect us from the bears and the cave men

476
00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:21.759
that are fighting for food. But now it's like bad

477
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:25.720
traffic or an angry boss or something like that, so

478
00:26:25.799 --> 00:26:26.920
they may it gets.

479
00:26:28.279 --> 00:26:30.200
You know, it gets activated.

480
00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:34.200
And when that happens in front of our brain where

481
00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:39.200
the executive function lives, where that's the creativity, the solutions,

482
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:46.839
the open mindedness, shut down, and where we are overridden

483
00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:51.039
with the mean to defend or blame or shut down

484
00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:58.160
and get passive or passive appressive. So it's really important

485
00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:02.519
that we recognize that in our else and we make

486
00:27:02.599 --> 00:27:07.000
a conscious choice to shift otherwise will go into.

487
00:27:06.799 --> 00:27:07.839
What I call the gave.

488
00:27:09.839 --> 00:27:11.799
I think that's so so important, and I think what

489
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.680
you also outlined in your book, which is when leaders

490
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:18.680
are they're on stage right, there's a lot on your shoulders.

491
00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:21.160
You have results that you need to produce and it's

492
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:23.440
a lot of pressure. And then you can also go

493
00:27:23.480 --> 00:27:25.440
into these you know, storytelling modes where you feel like

494
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:28.319
everybody's out to get you, and people trying to sabotage

495
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:30.839
your results and all these things. So I appreciate that

496
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:33.920
you also specify in your book, you say when you're

497
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:37.559
faced with a threat, real or imagined, right, And those

498
00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:41.200
stories are imagined, but they're very very potent. Right. Then

499
00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:43.480
you go on to say that you react without thought

500
00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:47.440
or considerations by fighting, fleeing, or freezing, and so I

501
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:49.799
do think and then lashing out angrily. These are all

502
00:27:50.359 --> 00:27:52.000
These are all ladies and gentlemen. You can start to

503
00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:54.799
recognize if you're doing these things, you probably are in

504
00:27:54.839 --> 00:27:57.799
a cave. And so that means that you feel some

505
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:00.119
kind of threat here. If you're starting to blame or

506
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:06.200
criticize or judge people or and certainly you know, throw

507
00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:09.559
an outlash at them, you probably are feeling this way

508
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:11.720
of being in the cave. So now let's talk about

509
00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:14.480
what cave stands for. So what's cave?

510
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:17.880
Yeah, I mean all the listeners out there, if you

511
00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:23.559
are feeling triggered or you're feeling overwhelmed by anything. The

512
00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:26.440
first thing I would say, is just recognize and write

513
00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:29.839
down the emotions that are showing up. So if I

514
00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.319
go back to this client familiar today, you know, she

515
00:28:32.599 --> 00:28:37.200
was frustrated that people were arguing with her plan. I mean,

516
00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:39.519
she spent a lot of time on it, and so

517
00:28:39.599 --> 00:28:41.920
she was irritated and annoyed. And we got all that

518
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:44.119
out first and foremost, and then we just work through

519
00:28:44.119 --> 00:28:47.920
the cave. I asked her what she and who she

520
00:28:48.039 --> 00:28:54.240
is criticizing when people are maybe disagreeing with her, arguing

521
00:28:54.599 --> 00:28:59.119
or pushing back. You know, she recognized, well, I guess

522
00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:02.720
I might be critical sizing things like, you know that

523
00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:09.039
they're not being mindful of me, that they're being disrespectful. Right,

524
00:29:09.079 --> 00:29:12.200
So the c stands for how we may criticize and

525
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:18.200
judge others. Then from there we move to assumptions. So

526
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:20.960
what are you assuming about the team as a whole?

527
00:29:21.880 --> 00:29:25.079
She was saying things like, we're not cohesive, we're dysfunctional,

528
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:27.799
we're not respectful towards each other. Right, So we're making

529
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:30.720
a lot of assumptions, and a lot of times those

530
00:29:30.759 --> 00:29:34.480
assumptions kind of seem like they're one hundred percent true

531
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.119
one hundred percent of the time, So they tend to

532
00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:41.480
take over. And then the v is our victim mindset.

533
00:29:41.640 --> 00:29:44.559
I mean, we all do it. It's our inner critic

534
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:48.119
that comes in and says, I'm failing somehow, I'm not

535
00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:49.559
good enough, I'm not smart.

536
00:29:49.400 --> 00:29:53.680
Enough, it's some sort of I'm not X enough. And

537
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:55.680
when that creeps.

538
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:59.039
In, like it feels like it just takes over and

539
00:29:59.079 --> 00:30:02.240
then the ease. That's what I call our enclosed patterns.

540
00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:07.200
That is our pattern of behavior that encloses us. It

541
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:10.039
kind of puts us into that cave where we want

542
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:13.759
to protect and it's a pattern that may help us

543
00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:16.000
in the short term but not in the long term.

544
00:30:16.119 --> 00:30:17.279
So it could look like.

545
00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:25.359
Going passive, aggressive, tiptoeing people, pleasing, worrying, trying to perfect,

546
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:30.519
getting defensive, venting, arguing, anything like that.

547
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:34.680
And these are patterns that actually don't.

548
00:30:36.039 --> 00:30:39.160
Help us be inspirational leaders in that moment because we

549
00:30:39.279 --> 00:30:42.880
lose our footing and our executive function will shut down.

550
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:48.440
So the first step is to recognize when you're in

551
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:53.279
the cave, and sometimes that's enough just to create a

552
00:30:53.319 --> 00:30:58.240
new pathway response in the brain to take a different

553
00:30:58.480 --> 00:31:02.480
approach in the moment. But working through that is a

554
00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:04.599
really really helpful M. M.

555
00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:07.359
All right, so ladies and gentlemen, to lay something on

556
00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:09.279
you that's probably going to feel a little bit heavy

557
00:31:09.319 --> 00:31:11.880
and intense, but it's it's accurate. And this came to

558
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:15.000
me from my friend and colleague, Bob Chapman, who is

559
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.799
the CEO of Barry Way Miller. They are a manufacturing

560
00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:21.160
company outside of in the Midwest. And he does he

561
00:31:21.240 --> 00:31:24.559
quotes this person that says, and this is somebody from

562
00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:27.759
the CDC sent for disease control, who says that your

563
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:33.519
mental health is directly related to your manager. Your mental

564
00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:36.119
health is directly relatedship manager something like that. That's not

565
00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:39.200
the exact quote, but the point being is that you

566
00:31:39.359 --> 00:31:41.519
as a manager and all that stuff you're carrying around,

567
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:44.359
all those frustrations, you being in the cave has a

568
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:49.119
direct proportional impact on your people's mental health and well being.

569
00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:52.920
And you, as you say, that's cascaded through the emails

570
00:31:52.920 --> 00:31:56.119
that you're checking and responding to, how you're attending emails,

571
00:31:56.319 --> 00:31:58.200
how you're doing the rest of your work. You know,

572
00:31:58.279 --> 00:32:00.640
you're not fully present and engaging, et cetera. And then

573
00:32:00.759 --> 00:32:04.440
guess what, that same person goes home and now whatever

574
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:07.240
that experience has been gets cascaded on their loved ones,

575
00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:11.000
the family, dog, the children, et cetera. So I really

576
00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:13.599
just want to stress how important the role of being

577
00:32:13.640 --> 00:32:16.559
a manager and a leader is and why this why

578
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:19.359
believe so much in your work, my work, and I

579
00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:21.039
just really want to make sure that people are really

580
00:32:21.079 --> 00:32:24.200
getting just the significance of what we're talking about here

581
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:26.200
and just how far it travels.

582
00:32:26.720 --> 00:32:28.680
Absolutely, it's a really great point.

583
00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:32.519
Yeah, and may feel like that's a lot more pressure

584
00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:34.880
on the leader, but the reality is is that we're

585
00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:38.599
in a position and influence and inspire and be role

586
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:43.039
models for how we do that, and that could be

587
00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:45.680
also may feel like a lot of pressure, but it

588
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:49.480
can also feel very rewarding if we work with it

589
00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:50.559
in the correct way.

590
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:54.119
Completely great, and we'll get to that next right. Don't worry.

591
00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:55.559
I won't let us hang out there in the negative

592
00:32:55.599 --> 00:32:57.480
zone because that's not where I want to do all either.

593
00:32:57.960 --> 00:32:59.920
All right, let's grab our last break. I'm your host,

594
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:02.359
doctor Elise court Has. We're on the air with Vile Reez,

595
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:05.799
founder and CEO of Executive Use. She's a seasoned executive

596
00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:08.519
coach and leadership trainer. We've been talking a bit about

597
00:33:08.559 --> 00:33:12.200
what employees crave from their employe from their leaders and

598
00:33:12.200 --> 00:33:16.359
their workplaces, as well as what leaders often find themselves

599
00:33:16.680 --> 00:33:19.240
stuck in, and that is the cave. After the break,

600
00:33:19.279 --> 00:33:20.720
we're going to get to the place where we're going

601
00:33:20.759 --> 00:33:23.400
to talk about the road to freedom as leader and

602
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:24.839
how we can get you to that place where you

603
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:27.359
feel fulfilled instead of so much pressure that you don't

604
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:29.039
want to actually go on. We'll be right back.

605
00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:47.880
Doctor Elise court haz is a management consultant specializing in

606
00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:51.640
meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps

607
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:55.119
companies visioneer for a greater purpose among stakeholders and develop

608
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:59.880
purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance,

609
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:03.000
and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to

610
00:34:03.039 --> 00:34:06.119
invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her

611
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:09.400
at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get

612
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:18.239
your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose

613
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:21.599
with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or

614
00:34:21.639 --> 00:34:24.400
to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to

615
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:30.000
Elise A lisee at eliscortes dot com. Now back to

616
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:31.239
working on purpose.

617
00:34:36.280 --> 00:34:38.159
Thanks for sting with us and welcome back. Welcome back

618
00:34:38.199 --> 00:34:40.559
to working on purpose. I'm your host, doctor Release Cortes.

619
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:42.719
I mentioned in the last break that my latest book

620
00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:44.519
came out in March of twenty twenty three. It's called

621
00:34:44.519 --> 00:34:46.880
The Great Revitalization. What I did for you is I

622
00:34:46.920 --> 00:34:50.079
created a free three page organizational assessment for you to

623
00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:53.400
download off my site gustodeshnaw dot com. And that will

624
00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:55.760
help you understand extend to which you are providing the

625
00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:59.400
culture that people actually want to work in today. And

626
00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:01.519
we'll give you a strong roadmap as to how to

627
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:04.119
take things forward in the right direction if you are

628
00:35:04.119 --> 00:35:06.199
just now joining us. My guest is val Reice. She's

629
00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:09.639
the author of Chief Inspiration Officer, How to Lead the

630
00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:12.840
Team everyone wants to be on. So for this next

631
00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:14.599
bit here, the last segment that we have here, valid

632
00:35:14.639 --> 00:35:16.519
just really want to get more further into us. We said,

633
00:35:16.519 --> 00:35:18.679
we don't want to leave our listeners and viewers worried

634
00:35:18.719 --> 00:35:20.920
and handringing that what have I gotten myself into in

635
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:23.480
this leadership Rolee? Is it too late to give it back? Right?

636
00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:25.920
Because it's so much fulfillment And I can tell you

637
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:28.679
listeners and viewers just being an India with the team

638
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:33.000
this last week incredibly radically fulfilling to get to know

639
00:35:33.559 --> 00:35:35.880
that the wearing work that we're talking about, Valinarra talking

640
00:35:35.920 --> 00:35:38.360
about here being able to pour that into the people

641
00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:41.840
and seeing them fill up and enlarge in front of

642
00:35:41.880 --> 00:35:44.719
my very very eyes, and hearing the feedback of what

643
00:35:44.760 --> 00:35:48.000
this has meant for them. It is incredibly fulfilling. You

644
00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:50.480
will change people's lives for the better if you step

645
00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:53.719
on this path. So let's now talk a little bit

646
00:35:53.719 --> 00:35:57.440
more about you know, you also mentioned the importance of

647
00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:00.519
being able to recognize your emotions. You talked about too,

648
00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:04.800
but I also think it's interesting that you talk about

649
00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:08.320
the importance of not just not being reactive, but also

650
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:10.639
being proactive. Can you say a bit more about that.

651
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:18.760
Well, a lot of times we want to avoid difficult

652
00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:23.880
things or conflict, so it's easy to not to.

653
00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:26.320
To avoid it, and then when it finally is in

654
00:36:26.400 --> 00:36:30.559
your face and you can now we're reactive. So what

655
00:36:30.639 --> 00:36:35.400
if we were proactive? What if we have the tools

656
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:41.119
and the confidence to actually be transparent and knew that

657
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:44.480
the way we handled the situation could actually need to

658
00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:48.960
a better result, even if the other person is a

659
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:53.239
history has a history of being defensive. So we definitely

660
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:57.840
want to lean into being more proactive than reactive.

661
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:00.719
You know, one of the things we in the session

662
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:02.480
when I was in India was just that this, you know,

663
00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:05.880
we talked about, of course Thomas Killeman's five five styles

664
00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:09.639
of navigating conflict, all of which have their place, but

665
00:37:09.719 --> 00:37:12.960
one of them, of course is avoiding, and certainly as

666
00:37:13.000 --> 00:37:16.760
a leader, that almost almost always doesn't serve as well. Right,

667
00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:19.679
So being the need to be able to somehow respond

668
00:37:20.079 --> 00:37:23.159
in a productive, empathetic way is just really important. ILD

669
00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:25.679
just want to encourage people on the journey of leadership

670
00:37:25.679 --> 00:37:28.719
whereever they are in this. So I really applaud an

671
00:37:28.760 --> 00:37:32.440
embrace your notion of being proactive in that way. And

672
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:34.400
then of course we can't you have a whole chapter

673
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:37.840
on the road to freedom as a leader. And so

674
00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:39.920
I just one of the things that I said when

675
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:42.480
I was working with his team, because I work closely

676
00:37:42.519 --> 00:37:44.840
with the CEO who's here in the United States and

677
00:37:44.840 --> 00:37:47.880
he's originally he's Indian of origin, and then of course

678
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:49.800
he has a US based team and an India based team,

679
00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:51.960
And what I said was, when we do this stuff,

680
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:56.960
well we don't need you as much. You do become free, right,

681
00:37:57.039 --> 00:37:59.199
And so I just think it's really interesting when you

682
00:37:59.320 --> 00:38:02.159
also line on that is, you know, you started talking

683
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:05.920
about your relationship with your direct reports improved. You recognized

684
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:09.119
her talents and advocated for promotions and raises when they

685
00:38:09.159 --> 00:38:11.239
knew that I had their backs and so they had

686
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:14.559
yours as well. And that's how good teams unite. And

687
00:38:14.599 --> 00:38:16.800
that's definitely freedom if you can just speak a bit

688
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:19.159
more to the beauty of that and kind of how

689
00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:19.800
you get there.

690
00:38:23.639 --> 00:38:27.519
I think that, you know, when we first opened up

691
00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:32.559
this conversation, we talked about that mindset that everyone has

692
00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:36.360
a gift. And I think about a friend of mine, Jen,

693
00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:40.880
who we were chatting the other day. She remembers that

694
00:38:40.920 --> 00:38:44.800
when she was in high school, she had she had

695
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:48.239
one student of the month. So there were eight months,

696
00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:51.519
there were eight students, and she was one of the

697
00:38:51.559 --> 00:38:54.039
students that got to put They.

698
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:57.599
Put her picture on the wall and then they put.

699
00:38:56.920 --> 00:38:59.800
A reason why they made her student of the month

700
00:39:00.119 --> 00:39:04.079
during their quoto, and the teachers all got together and

701
00:39:04.159 --> 00:39:06.559
voted and they said things like she was driven, and

702
00:39:06.599 --> 00:39:12.199
she was hard working and a very caring person. And

703
00:39:12.280 --> 00:39:15.519
Jen said to me, it's so interesting because I didn't

704
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:17.920
see these things in myself. I mean, I was a

705
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:22.840
teenager diving with insecurity and self doubt, but my teachers

706
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:27.960
saw me for who I am, and that's that's a

707
00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:31.760
really cool right when we can see somebody better than

708
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:32.880
they can see themselves.

709
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:37.000
So I think there's something to that.

710
00:39:37.119 --> 00:39:42.480
When we look at helping somebody get out of their

711
00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:47.519
own way, and also in recognizing that just like you

712
00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:49.400
get stuck in a cave, your teams going to get

713
00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:52.800
stuck in a cave. So we have to help them out,

714
00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:55.199
and the best way to help them out is a question.

715
00:39:56.039 --> 00:39:57.760
And I took a coach approach in the.

716
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:03.440
Entire book because is it's a very inviting way to

717
00:40:03.679 --> 00:40:09.280
empower people. And so we want to help people see

718
00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:12.000
like how might you be showing up at this moment,

719
00:40:12.039 --> 00:40:14.840
and how might you stock what might you be telling

720
00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:19.519
yourself and help them out of the cave that way

721
00:40:19.960 --> 00:40:23.840
by first helping them see it and then the questions

722
00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:25.800
to get them out, which are outlined in the book

723
00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:26.239
as well.

724
00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:28.880
So one of the other things that I think really

725
00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:31.519
bears celebrating, since it's in the chapter on the Road

726
00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:34.639
to Freedom as a leader, is that embracing the approach

727
00:40:34.679 --> 00:40:37.199
that you put forward, what it does, is it naturally

728
00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:39.599
reads out people that are toxic. They don't want to

729
00:40:39.639 --> 00:40:41.840
be in that kind of environment. It's positive people are

730
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:44.559
helping each other. You know, they can't raise the eye

731
00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:47.000
of other people. They raise an ir to raise when

732
00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:49.519
they naturally leave because this isn't where they want to be.

733
00:40:49.599 --> 00:40:52.119
So I think that's also god to be something that

734
00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:54.480
leaders want to hear is Wow, it will be great

735
00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:56.320
to be able to help move those people out that

736
00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:58.360
just really aren't good fits and aren't happy anyway.

737
00:41:00.039 --> 00:41:01.559
I'll come to the surface really quickly.

738
00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:06.000
Yeah yeah, Well, then now this next part here that

739
00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:08.039
I want to go to, which is really really a

740
00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:10.039
part of my heart, val and that's your chapter on

741
00:41:10.119 --> 00:41:12.960
guiding your team to their full potential. You know, there's

742
00:41:12.960 --> 00:41:16.280
a reason I'm an organizational psychologist. I'm not a clinical psychologist.

743
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:19.360
I'm not an abnormal psychologist. I focus on the world

744
00:41:19.360 --> 00:41:21.360
of work, and the reason I do that is I

745
00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:25.480
believe in the power and potency of work to catalyze

746
00:41:25.559 --> 00:41:28.000
us into our full potential, and I believe it can

747
00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:31.119
be a fantastic playground, especially when it's led by great

748
00:41:31.159 --> 00:41:33.199
leaders who help us understand more of who we are

749
00:41:33.480 --> 00:41:37.360
and what we can be. So I really appreciate that.

750
00:41:37.559 --> 00:41:39.679
You know, you start by saying that the best way

751
00:41:39.719 --> 00:41:41.880
to get your team to not be limited by the

752
00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:44.079
cave is to listen, to acknowledge and ask, opening into

753
00:41:44.199 --> 00:41:47.400
questions that help them see a different perspective and take

754
00:41:47.400 --> 00:41:49.639
a new path forward. And one of the things that

755
00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:51.719
I love about your whole book, as you say, it's

756
00:41:51.719 --> 00:41:53.679
coaching all the way through. You're coaching us all the

757
00:41:53.719 --> 00:41:55.920
way through this thing, and that's coaching one oh one.

758
00:41:56.719 --> 00:41:59.679
So let's just talk a little bit about your perspective

759
00:41:59.719 --> 00:42:01.639
and some of your guidance that you give on helping

760
00:42:01.960 --> 00:42:03.719
to bring people to their full potential.

761
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:08.280
Well, number one, believe in them.

762
00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:13.480
Number two, get curious with them, and number three see

763
00:42:13.519 --> 00:42:18.880
their strengths and vocalize what you see. So, for example,

764
00:42:19.239 --> 00:42:22.440
if you have somebody who's struggling, and I'll just use

765
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:26.320
my own example of hitting sales numbers, you know, it's

766
00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:29.840
you know, talk to me, tell me how you're feeling

767
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:35.360
about the pressure, the goals, and you invite them in

768
00:42:35.400 --> 00:42:37.760
to have this conversation. You're not trying to fix anything

769
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:40.159
or tell them what to do or anything like that.

770
00:42:40.280 --> 00:42:44.360
You're just sitting down and you're saying, where are you

771
00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:48.320
getting stuck? Yep, you're trying to understand is it their mindset?

772
00:42:48.559 --> 00:42:50.159
Is there? Is it their activity?

773
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:51.119
Is it?

774
00:42:51.199 --> 00:42:53.159
You know, before you even offer anything.

775
00:42:55.559 --> 00:43:00.199
And then you want to ask them because you go

776
00:43:00.360 --> 00:43:04.320
in with the thought that they have the answers within

777
00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:08.679
and you're a catalyst to just pull it out of them.

778
00:43:09.239 --> 00:43:13.559
So you're asking them. You know, listen, you are hired

779
00:43:13.599 --> 00:43:17.719
for a reason. You bring all of these strengths, whatever

780
00:43:17.760 --> 00:43:18.119
that is.

781
00:43:18.159 --> 00:43:25.360
You know, knowledge, resource care, compassion, dedication, experience. Choose two

782
00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:27.880
or three right, and you say, listen, you came in

783
00:43:28.039 --> 00:43:31.239
with all this experience and all this passion and dedication.

784
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:35.760
How can you utilize that in this situation right now?

785
00:43:36.760 --> 00:43:42.119
Get them thinking, get them empowered. That's how you start

786
00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:44.679
helping them reach their full potential. You believe in them

787
00:43:45.519 --> 00:43:48.679
and you guide them to see that. You guide them

788
00:43:48.719 --> 00:43:52.599
to come up with those answers. Now, if they're stuck,

789
00:43:53.719 --> 00:43:57.119
you as a leader, are knowing what it is that

790
00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:03.760
the behaviors that really help drive momentum, things like collaboration

791
00:44:04.559 --> 00:44:12.360
or passion or thoroughness. Let's say you can plant those

792
00:44:12.400 --> 00:44:16.079
seeds and say, hey, I know that success really comes

793
00:44:16.159 --> 00:44:19.920
with thoroughness in this role, what are the things you

794
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:22.639
think you need to do to be more thorough And

795
00:44:22.679 --> 00:44:26.480
that's just an example of how you may then infuse

796
00:44:26.519 --> 00:44:30.159
your vision and then ultimately ask them the question of

797
00:44:30.199 --> 00:44:33.440
how they're going to get there. But that's how you

798
00:44:33.480 --> 00:44:37.880
do it, and it's you know, it's it's.

799
00:44:38.199 --> 00:44:42.039
It's not pulling them, it's not pushing them.

800
00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:46.239
It is like standing next to them and sometimes you're

801
00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:49.440
in front and sometimes you're behind, sometimes you're on the sideline,

802
00:44:49.559 --> 00:44:50.199
just depending.

803
00:44:51.639 --> 00:44:53.519
It's knowing how to help them up the mountain.

804
00:44:55.960 --> 00:44:58.119
And one thing I'm very present to when it comes

805
00:44:58.119 --> 00:45:01.519
to guiding people to pull the potential is most people

806
00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:04.760
never get the gift of really being listened to, and

807
00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:09.000
it is people crave being her back to your connection piece,

808
00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:14.119
people crave being listened to, understood, appreciated, valued, And when

809
00:45:14.159 --> 00:45:16.559
you can do that, when you can see things and

810
00:45:16.599 --> 00:45:20.239
you can vocalize that, whatever form that takes, whether that's

811
00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:23.440
written or oral, it is one of the most beautiful

812
00:45:23.639 --> 00:45:26.519
things that can happen between human beings. And I just

813
00:45:26.559 --> 00:45:28.599
want to echo that out to the number of times

814
00:45:28.599 --> 00:45:30.320
that I've gotten to experience that. And when you do

815
00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:32.840
that with someone you get to see their monocles change

816
00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:35.599
in front of your very eyes, and there you touch

817
00:45:35.639 --> 00:45:38.840
their soul and that is really beautiful. And talk about

818
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:42.039
fulfillment and worth working toward worth being the human that

819
00:45:42.079 --> 00:45:44.920
can do that all the way. And I've had people,

820
00:45:44.920 --> 00:45:47.079
by the way, few people have listened to the show

821
00:45:47.079 --> 00:45:48.840
for a while. I heard me tell the story. You

822
00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:51.039
know a boss that totally could see things and made

823
00:45:51.119 --> 00:45:54.599
vocalize them to me in ways that even my parents couldn't.

824
00:45:55.159 --> 00:45:57.199
And he totally and radically changed my life for the

825
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:59.599
better because he could vocalize that, and I stepped into

826
00:45:59.599 --> 00:46:02.199
the vision he cast for me, and because of that,

827
00:46:02.360 --> 00:46:06.320
he radically changed my life for the better. Saved me twice. Yeah,

828
00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:14.840
save me twice. Yeah. Stuff works. Well, let's bring this

829
00:46:14.920 --> 00:46:17.480
bit home here. I think we've been talking a bit

830
00:46:17.480 --> 00:46:20.639
about the you know, possibilities here and potential and helping

831
00:46:20.679 --> 00:46:22.599
our own persons get out of the cave so that

832
00:46:22.599 --> 00:46:25.199
we can give people what they crave in the workplace.

833
00:46:25.480 --> 00:46:27.960
I think your last chapter on mastering the art of

834
00:46:28.039 --> 00:46:31.559
challenging conversations definitely bears a finish here for us, because

835
00:46:31.559 --> 00:46:33.440
I think a lot of leaders struggle with how do

836
00:46:33.519 --> 00:46:35.760
I talk about the heart stuff. Okay, this stuff about

837
00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:38.760
being great and having potential, that sounds I can do that.

838
00:46:39.239 --> 00:46:42.039
But this stuff about having challenging conversations with people aren't

839
00:46:42.039 --> 00:46:44.159
performing or maybe they're just not getting it or whatever.

840
00:46:44.639 --> 00:46:46.079
How do I have those conversations?

841
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:46.119
That?

842
00:46:46.199 --> 00:46:49.159
I really like your three part model? So let's talk

843
00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:50.480
our listeners and viewers through that.

844
00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:54.320
Yeah, So it's.

845
00:46:56.280 --> 00:47:01.000
It's you know, traditionally, right when you think about communication,

846
00:47:01.199 --> 00:47:04.360
were thought the sandwich method, like if a positive and

847
00:47:04.360 --> 00:47:08.760
then a negative, and then a positive. But we definitely

848
00:47:08.920 --> 00:47:11.719
when we go in have a difficult conversation, we want

849
00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:16.840
to have intention of what's working, so that's always good,

850
00:47:17.719 --> 00:47:18.199
and we.

851
00:47:18.199 --> 00:47:19.199
Want to address what's not.

852
00:47:21.800 --> 00:47:25.519
The difference in my model is that we also want

853
00:47:25.519 --> 00:47:27.280
to lead them towards where we want to go.

854
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:29.599
And that's the key.

855
00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:34.480
So when the three part model is thought for your hope,

856
00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:39.480
thought is either not a judgment or an opinion. It's

857
00:47:39.519 --> 00:47:43.000
more of an observation of what you see happening. So

858
00:47:43.079 --> 00:47:47.440
for example, you may say something like, had noticed in

859
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:54.079
today's meeting there was a lot of arguing back and forth,

860
00:47:54.880 --> 00:47:58.440
and I wanted to check in, right, So we're stating

861
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:02.079
the observation of what you're noticing.

862
00:48:03.679 --> 00:48:07.679
Then we move to the fear, which is if we.

863
00:48:07.719 --> 00:48:11.760
Feel the need to talk about that, then there's usually

864
00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:15.559
some sort of concern we have about the issue and

865
00:48:15.599 --> 00:48:19.159
the impact that that issue can have on the team.

866
00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:24.199
So that's our chance to say, you know, I'm concerned

867
00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:27.239
that bickering in a team environment like that can really

868
00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:31.679
drag down the morale of the team. So we're addressing

869
00:48:31.719 --> 00:48:35.840
the situation where we're not blaming anyone, we're not pointing fingers,

870
00:48:35.880 --> 00:48:40.039
but we're being transparent. And then the third part of

871
00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:42.239
the formula, which is the hope.

872
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:44.960
Is what do you hope to see differently?

873
00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:49.519
And so in this case, it would be, you know,

874
00:48:49.599 --> 00:48:53.199
my hope is that even if we agree to disagree,

875
00:48:53.239 --> 00:48:57.280
that we're respectful in kind and we get along and

876
00:48:57.880 --> 00:48:58.800
I would really.

877
00:48:58.639 --> 00:49:02.119
Like to see that moving forward. And then we wrap

878
00:49:02.119 --> 00:49:04.320
that up with you know, what are your thoughts? How

879
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:05.400
can you get there?

880
00:49:06.119 --> 00:49:11.000
And so that model creates a very disarming and I

881
00:49:11.039 --> 00:49:14.000
do call it in my in my trainings now, I

882
00:49:14.039 --> 00:49:15.599
call it disarming communication.

883
00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:17.679
It's trademarked and all.

884
00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:23.079
To invite people into the conversation in a way that

885
00:49:23.119 --> 00:49:24.360
does not happen.

886
00:49:25.679 --> 00:49:27.920
That is a beautiful way to close the conversation.

887
00:49:28.039 --> 00:49:28.199
Vow.

888
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:31.480
I can't tell you much. I'm grateful that our common

889
00:49:31.519 --> 00:49:33.559
friend connected us. And when I found out you have

890
00:49:33.639 --> 00:49:34.800
this book out of look you got to come on

891
00:49:34.920 --> 00:49:36.760
the show and talk about it. I'm happy to know

892
00:49:36.840 --> 00:49:39.320
you share what you're doing the role with our listeners

893
00:49:39.320 --> 00:49:41.400
and viewers across the globe. Thank you for being on

894
00:49:41.519 --> 00:49:42.280
working on purpose.

895
00:49:42.840 --> 00:49:43.760
Thank you for having me.

896
00:49:44.199 --> 00:49:46.760
Very welcome. Listeners and viewers you're going to you want

897
00:49:46.760 --> 00:49:48.880
to learn more about Valerie's and the work she's doing

898
00:49:48.920 --> 00:49:51.960
and Executive News and her book Chief Inspiration Officer. So

899
00:49:51.960 --> 00:49:54.960
the best place to start to visit her is executive

900
00:49:55.119 --> 00:49:58.719
dash news dot com. So that's Executive Dash m U

901
00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:01.519
s E dot com. Last week. If you missed the

902
00:50:01.559 --> 00:50:03.159
live show, you can always catch it in your recorded

903
00:50:03.159 --> 00:50:05.639
a podcast where you get your podcasts. We were on

904
00:50:05.679 --> 00:50:08.360
air with Piem Zamani, the author of Crossing the Desert,

905
00:50:08.599 --> 00:50:10.519
where he tells the story of immigrating to the US

906
00:50:10.559 --> 00:50:13.960
after being religiously persecuted for his high faith, learning the

907
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:16.880
English at age sixteen and fully embracing the American system

908
00:50:16.920 --> 00:50:19.480
and dream to be what you make of yourself no

909
00:50:19.519 --> 00:50:21.800
matter what. He and his brother went on to found

910
00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:26.760
their first company, Autoweb, and took IPO public and around

911
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:28.679
the nineteen ninety six period, and then went on to

912
00:50:29.559 --> 00:50:34.679
found several other organizations and today Pim leads One Planet Group.

913
00:50:35.159 --> 00:50:38.159
His story will inspire you and he will encourage you

914
00:50:38.239 --> 00:50:40.679
to chase after your own dreams and drop the excuses

915
00:50:40.719 --> 00:50:43.440
that you have. We all have those excuses. Next week

916
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:46.159
will be on the air with Christy Petzinger talking about

917
00:50:46.159 --> 00:50:49.639
how she built her company helping healthcare companies create empowering

918
00:50:49.639 --> 00:50:52.239
information on their websites for their patients and did so

919
00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:55.920
through kindness, self awareness, and vulnerability. See you there, Remember

920
00:50:55.960 --> 00:50:58.440
that work is one of the best means and realize

921
00:50:58.440 --> 00:51:00.519
that listening our potential excuse me one so one of

922
00:51:00.519 --> 00:51:02.840
the greatest adventures and means rule us air potential and

923
00:51:02.880 --> 00:51:05.960
making an impact. We craine, so let's work on Purpose.

924
00:51:08.800 --> 00:51:11.440
We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to

925
00:51:11.480 --> 00:51:15.159
tune into Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes,

926
00:51:15.239 --> 00:51:18.559
each week on W four CY. Together we'll create a

927
00:51:18.599 --> 00:51:23.199
world where business operates conscientiously. Leadership inspires and passion, performance

928
00:51:23.320 --> 00:51:26.079
and employees are fulfilled in work that provides the meaning

929
00:51:26.119 --> 00:51:29.920
and purpose. They crave see you there. Let's work on purpose.