Strengthen Your Leadership Intelligence with Eight Leadership Essentials to Maximize Impact

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FORCY Radio. What's Working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

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answer to this question. People ache
for meaning and purpose at work, to

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contribute their talents passionately and know their
lives really matter. They crave being part

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of an organization that inspires them and
helps them grow into realizing their highest potential.

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Business can be such a force for
good in the world, elevating humanity.

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In our program, we provide guidance
and inspiration to help usher in this

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world we all want Working on Purpose. Now, here's your host, Doctor

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Release Cortez. Welcome back to the
Working on Purpose Program. Thanks for tuning

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again this week. Great to have
you. I'm your host, Doctor Elie's

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Quartez joining alive from Dallas, Texas
homebase. For me, if we've not

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met yet and you don't know me, I'm a management consultant, organization logo

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therapist, a speaker and author.
My team and I at Least Cortes and

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Associates help companies to enliven their operations
by articulating their purpose and building inspirational leaders

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and cultures activated by meaning and purpose
to turn those companies from a flatline EKG

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to a vibrant workplace. There people
are in terms, will be motivated to

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perform with their best gown to their
full potential, and are committed to stay

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and who deliver on their company's mission. You can learn more about us having

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a worker together at at least quartz
dot com. Now with us today.

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In today's program, we have two
authors co authors that don't wait for someone

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else to fix it. There are
also the co founders that think to perform

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a high performance leadership development firm servicing
small and large organizations in a variety of

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industries. They are Douglink and Chuck
Wackendorffer. We'll be talking about the eight

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essential behaviors they treat in the for
developing high performance Leadership. Doug joins us

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from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and Chuck
joins us from Denver, Colorado. Doug

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and Chuck, welcome to Working on
Purpose. Thanks you, Marie. It's

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great to be here. Yeah,
I'm try to be here. I love

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it when I meet astoundingly interesting people
I would otherwise have no business running into.

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Because you wrote a fantastic book and
your PR person found me. So

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let's just first start by celebrating this
thing you brought into the world. Don't

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wait for someone else to fix it. So I appreciate that. Having written

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a couple of books, I know
what it takes to bring a book into

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the world. It is harder than
childbirth. By the way, just in

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case you're wondering we wouldn't know,
right, well, just tell you been

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through both and so I do know. So anyway, okay, well let's

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start here. Um, I want
to you make I really appreciate you.

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You situate us early on in your
book here, and you, of course,

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you guys are long time leaders of
your own right and have helped develop

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thousands, maybe tens of thousands of
leaders yourselves over the years. And you

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start with the statement that you put
forth the beginning of the book that says

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it's about creating a safer, happier, and healthier world is in our hands.

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You don't get to choose whether or
not to be a leader. You

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only get to choose what kind of
leader you'll be. I love that smack

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in your face statement. Let's start
there. Well, we basically our position

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is pretty straightforward, and Chuck and
I have felt this way for as long

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as we've known each other, which
is going on forty years now, that

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everybody is influencing somebody, and everybody
is being influenced by somebody or something.

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So we simply make the case leadership
is that which one does to influence the

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behavior of another. And because that's
the truth, all of us are leaders

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works for me and any other thing
we ran into was, you know,

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it's kind of the title of our
book. Don't wait for somebody else to

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fix it. If I believe is
that leadership is a title or a position

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and I don't have that title or
position, then it's not my job,

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right right. And so there's this
like, well he or she must see

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it because it's their jobs. They
have they have the office, they have

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the title, they have the position, and you know, really to fix

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a lot of the issues that I
think your show focuses on, like which

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is to make a better place in
the world, to create a better work

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environment for everybody, we all have
to step up. And that was really

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the essence of the idea of the
book. Doug and I were like,

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you know, there's fifteen hundred leadership
books posed a year. We wanted to

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write a book that would day act
anybody anywhere. The artless of title.

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I love that. I really love
that. I appreciate that. The other

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thing that I love about what you
guys are talking about here is, you

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know, working in sudanizations myself,
what happens is if people don't have the

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idea that you know, don't wait
for somebody else to fix it. It's

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too easy to blame the behavior of
the leaders that maybe do or don't get

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the results if they expect when here, what you're doing is you're enrolling everyone

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to be a leader. So I
really want to applaud that. Let me

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also situate, if there's a lot
of noise coming from my MIC listeners viewers,

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we're having a fantastic thunderstorm here in
Dallas, Texas, So welcome to

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the tropics here in Dallas in case
you're hearing booms and thunders. So,

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but I do want to really applaud
that, you know, you're really you're

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reaching through those pages and saying,
hey man, nobody's off folk here,

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come with us. Well, we
all get caught waiting sometimes, you know,

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wishing that other people would change their
behavior. If they did, my

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life would be better, right,
And I think that's the absence of the

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leadership logic chain that you we're starting. A reference is like, you know,

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we work with a lot of firms
organizations where they don't say it this

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way, but they bring us in
and too, because if you just fix

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these other people over here, we'll
be fine. And what we help them

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realize is how they contribute to the
issues they see in other people. Yeah,

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and a person's behavior we can control
as our own. We you know,

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we that's part of what we call
the three bucket theory. Bucket one

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is what I can control, Bucket
two is what I can influence. Bucket

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three is but I don't have any
control over And there's only one thing in

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bucket number one, and that's my
behavior. MG. That's that's the terrible

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part. You know, as sucks
data. Most people are pretty gifted at

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seeing what's wrong with other people,
like I'm fine, but you have a

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problem, and so we we have. We get that quite frequently, as

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Chuck says, a lot of a
lot of people, in essence, a

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lot of organizations, a lot of
leaders will say something almost as silly as

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this. If it wasn't for the
people, this would be a great place

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to work. Oh, I've heard
it so many times. Start gun,

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let's just do it. Let's get
of all the people, will fix everything

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right here, right now, let's
do it. Yeah, right, okay,

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So okay, So to speaking of
that, that was one thing to

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your point, Chuck, I did
really I was enamored with your logic a

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chain, your logic chain idea,
and I also appreciate that you say,

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the leadership logic chain guides you to
implement three crucial stages of effective intelligent leadership,

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and they include, you know,
self awareness. They also include this

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idea of decision making and of course
self management. And I really appreciate the

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emphasis you put on all three and
certainly the quality of decision making. So

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maybe you could just speak a little
bit to those three pieces there. Yeah,

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we make as we mentioned in the
book about thirty five thousand decisions a

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day kind of mind bogging when you
think about that, I don't think it's

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like I did the math. It's, you know, something like fifteen hundred

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decisions an hour. Yeah, you're
awake for twenty four hours, which we're

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not, but not all of them. Do we have to make better,

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but we made one or two better
choices a day. You're talking about five,

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six, seven hundred better decisions a
year. And if you've ever been

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in any kind of reunion, family
or school reunion, you know what I'm

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talking about. Where you walk in
the room and you see everybody used to

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hang out with, and somebody spots
you from across the room they go,

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hey, a lease, how are
you? And you have no idea who

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they are, And then all of
a sudden you go, oh, that's

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Chuck, and the next pop that
is hopefully it's your inside voice says like,

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what the hell happened to that guy? Like that's you know, thirty

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five thousand decisions a day over five, ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty

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forty years of life. I mean, that's what you're all doing the same

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thing at the same time. But
decision making takes our lives in very different

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directions, and decision making is the
biggest driver of performance in any area life.

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I don't care what you do for
a living. You know. One

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of the things we talk about with
that at least is this concept that our

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performance in life, in every dimension
of our life, is really a function

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of kind of our raw material what
we call talent, plus the skills we

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developed to use our raw material,
plus decision making. And as we're saying,

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decision making has more than twice as
much impact on one's actual result then

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the other two combined. So this
is a really big deal. And that's

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why deciding wisely is such a big
thing, and why this whole notion of

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influencing others by managing ourselves is so
critical. Those decisions really really matter,

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and they up beautiful dog. You
know. One thing about this show has

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been amazing. I've been hosting this
show for eight and a quarter years.

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I think you guys are episode four
and thirty three, and I keep doing

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gratulations, thank you. I keep
doing it because I'm need amazing people like

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you, and I learned so much
and so to that point, Doug,

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a couple episodes that go on we
had Sheila, doctor Sheila Olsen, talking

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about her book that she co authored, which is called Wise Decisions. The

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whole book was all about how to
make wise decisions. So yes, I

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completely em bought into the idea that
our impact is a greatly facilitated by the

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quality of decisions that we make as
leaders. So I just really wanted to

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emphasize that to our listeners and viewers
that there's a lot of me in what

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you gave us there. And one
thing I would add to this. And

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when we did the logic chain,
Chuck was actually the one who realized we

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needed to add decision making. I
was trying to to make it simpler,

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simpler, but it got too simple, and the decision making pieces really the

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most critical, and similar to our
leadership logic team, you know, that

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was a critical piece to be added. And one of the things that we

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find is a lot of people just
lack the tools. They don't really know

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themselves well enough to realize their decision
making hasn't been that good, right,

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you know, And the lack of
self awareness is significant, and that's why

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that's such a big part of all
of this. Most people don't know themselves

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nearly as well as they imagine they
must. Well, Doug, here's the

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good news to that. That's why
I know I have a job because I

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do help. You know, part
of the work that I get to do

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is to help leaders to understand themselves. And that's why I think your work.

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Could you put four piece eight essential
what I'm calling behaviors is so critical,

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the first one being aimed to be
your ideal self, and so I

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really find it's amazing to me people
people I meet in their forties and fifties

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but don't know their strengths, don't
know some of their basic personality types,

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don't know their decision making style,
so completely agree with you, which is

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why they need us here. So
what I wanted to do here, gentleman,

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is I just wanted to touch a
little bit on each one of your

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eight essential areas here and pull out
the bits that I kind of really spoke

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to me. Because I want the
readers or the listeners and yours to read

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your actual book. I just want
to call out a few of the things

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that I thought that really pulled me. So the first essential behavior, as

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I said, is aimed to be
your ideal self, and I really like

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the alignment model that you you came
up with ther with those three frames,

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can you speak at bit to those
three frames for us? Dog, I

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think that the dog was the author
of the element model, So don't you

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Yeah, I mean, basically yeah, I could speak to that, you

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know, because the and the concept
that we talk about is the kind of

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the headline is the most effective leaders
the most effective influencers of others are people

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who live in alignment most of the
time and they help other people do the

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same thing. So the alignment model
is really the answer to the question how

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will I know I'm managing myself well? Because the logic chain says effective leadership

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of others is a function of effective
management of myself, which is a function

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of decision making, which is a
function of self awareness. So the alignment

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model answers the question how will I
know I'm managing myself well? And the

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answer is I will actually be the
person I am aiming to be. I

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am aiming to be my ideal self. That person is found in the first

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frame. The first frame is the
ideal self frame, that's the principles and

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the values that guide us. Yes, the third frame is the reality frame,

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that's the frame of thoughts and emotions
and behaviors physical behaviors. That's that

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frame. And in the middle the
middle frame is our purpose where you fit

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and our goals, having a purpose. The most effective people live in alignment

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and on purpose and they help others
do the same. And when it comes

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to purpose, that's a double word, a double on toundr. Is that

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how you say that? One is
what I do I do intentionally on and

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what I do is with a purpose. I do it for a reason,

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you know. Example, my purpose
is to help myself and others achieve our

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highest and greatest potential. That's what
my purpose is. And what I try

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to do is align my behaviors intentionally
with that and in turn my ideal self.

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So that's that's the alignment model.
Would you add anything, as I

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think, Yeah, I just piling
on a little bit. It's not about

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perfection, right. Part of the
human condition is none of us is perfect.

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So what what what the question is? Can I be my ideal self

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more often? And when I when
I'm not, can I correct it a

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little faster? And when you ask
people if they have values? So frame

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one is values. So when you
ask people if they have values, most

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people act insulted. Of course,
I mean, of course I have values.

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They can't name them. Yeah,
that is the second question, which

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is what are It's kind of fuzzy. So to Doug's point, we have

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an exercise. Yeah, and I
love what's on your website too. By

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the way, the value is car
is fantastic. Yeah, so you can

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take it for free. I think
to performed dot com to identify your top

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five values. Why five because five
is what I can remember. Right.

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If I can't remember my values,
then I can't use them to guide my

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decision making, right. So it's
knowing my values and remembering them and increases

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the odds that I use them when
making a decision. So it increases the

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odds, as Doug is saying,
to be my ideal self more often beautiful.

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And on that note, guys,
let's grab our first break. It

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goes so fast. I'm your host, doctor Release Cortez. We were on

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the air with Doug Linok and Chuck
Wakindofford. There are the co authors that

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don't wait for someone else to fix
it. We've been talking a bit about

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what's behind this notion of enrolling everyone
as a leader, because we need everyone

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full throttle and now just getting into
some of the essential behaviors. After the

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break, we're going to get into
with regard to knowing our real selves some

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of the common errors we make knowing
ourselves. Stay with us. We'll be

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right back. Doctor Elise Cortez as
a management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose.

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An inspirational speaker and author. She
helps companies visioneer for a greater purpose

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00:17:37.079 --> 00:17:42.720
among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership
and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment,

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performance, and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to invite a

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lease to speak to your organization,
please visit her at Elise Cortez dot com.

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00:17:52.640 --> 00:18:00.720
Let's talk about how to get your
employees working on purpose. This is

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00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:06.200
working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortez. To reach our program today or to

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open a conversation with a lease,
send an email to a lease a l

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00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:21.519
se at Elise Cortez dot com.
Now back to working on Purpose. Thanks

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00:18:21.559 --> 00:18:22.880
for staying with us. Before we
get back into the program, I want

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to share with you something pretty exciting. I think at least it's about the

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Purpose and Joy Tour. This is
a collaboration with Joilie in organization that teaches

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mindful practices to build happy, healthy, resilient world, and my firm,

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Elise Cortes and Associates that activates meaning
and purpose and company culture and leadership to

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increase fulfillment, performance and retention.
Together, this is crazy, wait for

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00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:45.759
it. We are going through thirty
three cities across the United States. We

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started in Dallas in March and we're
finishing in Virginia Beach in October to find

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our tribe and build a community of
people who seek to elevate their lives by

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and businesses by cultivating meaning, purpose
and joy. You can find a list

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of cities, dates and planned events
at gusto dash dot com and then go

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00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:03.480
to the events and tour tab and
find your city in the date so see

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00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:07.839
you there. Find it, you
can register, look what's available registering events,

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00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:11.200
and tell your friends if you are
just joining the program. My guests

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are Doug Lennock and Chuck Walchendorffer.
They are the co authors of Don't Wait

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for someone Else to Fix It and
the co founders of Think to Perform a

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high performance leadership development firms serving small
and large organizations in a variety of industries.

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I'm your host, doctor Earlie's Cortez. So one of the things that

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I thought was interesting about your next
behavior here, number two is know your

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real self. And what I wanted
to really get you both to speak to

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is some of the common errors that
we make in knowing ourselves. Because you

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just give us a couple mistakes that
we make in that regard, well,

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I'll start with one. I think
the most common behavior or issue I think

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with knowing our real self is not
realizing how often our minds wander from what

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it is we think we are doing. You know. So now, fortunately,

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because all three of us are trained
on this, we actually are able

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to stay focused for a period of
time, probably longer than most. But

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it's quite common for someone to get
in like a conversation. Let's say you

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and I are talking to one another
at least, and I'm doing, you

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know, kind of pretend I'm listening
thing. I don't know, I'm not

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listening, But I have figured this
out. Guys do this a lot,

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by the way. I hate to
say it, but we often do this

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when we're talking to our spouses or
significant others and we're nodding and smiling,

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you know, and I'm nodding and
smiling, and then an unusual look comes

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over your face, and I think, you know, fo, yeah,

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I not my smile. We're probably
inappropriate for whatever it was she said.

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I wonder what she said. Moreover, I wonder when I quit listening.

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I don't know. I don't even
know when I stopped listening. Worse,

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we read books. Somebody's read your
book or my book, our book.

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They read our books, they get
to the end of the chapter and they

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go, what the heck did I
just read? Think of that. That's

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me reading to myself and not paying
attention. So most people just don't realize

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how often their mind wanders from whatever
it is they thought they were doing.

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You know, I think the other
part about self awareness a lease is we

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most of the way we live our
lives, we live out of a part

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of our brain called the basil Gangley. That's the habit center part of our

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brain. So what we do we
do because we've always done it that way.

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And what happens is as we get
older, our lives change. Some

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of the patterns that used to work
for us stopped working, but we keep

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demonstrating the same pattern. And it's
the self awareness piece where you recognize,

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well, I'm not getting the result
that I want. Maybe it's the pattern

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of behavior that I'm demonstrating. I'll
give you an example. It's as an

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example in the book, I worked
with a female executive about ten years ago.

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Her name is Sharon. Sharon was
very successful and miserable, and you

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know, she had this pattern where
she'd go to work at seven thirty in

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the morning, worked till about eight
o'clock at night, skip lunch, eat

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one meal at about nine o'clock at
night, go to bed at eleven o'clock,

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and do it again all day.
Every day she had to stay at

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home. Husband, she had two
adult children lived at her home. She

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was about one hundred pounds overweight,
and she was very unhappy. And so

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one of the homework items we gave
her was to pay attention to how often

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she was sacrificing her own needs.
She came back a few weeks later and

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she said, I don't even know
what my needs are. Yeah, And

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I said, well, Sharon,
where did you learned that your needs didn't

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matter? And without any hesitation,
she said, I was raised by a

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single mom, and when I was
seven years old, my mom came down

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with cancer. And so from the
time I was seven till when she died

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when I was eleven years old,
I was there to take care of my

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mom. Now that's what Sharon needed
to survive as a child. But encounter

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to what most people learned their parents
take care of them, Sharon learned she

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took care of her parents, her
mom, and it was a pattern she

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continued into her fifties. And so
behavioral change begins with self awareness. It's

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noticing this pattern of behavior and then
understanding where it came from because I started

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at some reason, because I got
the result I needed, and then deciding

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what, if anything, I want
to do about that pattern. That's the

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real value and self awareness. It's
paying attention in the moment, as Doug

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saying, But then it's a broader
level like when I'm happy, why am

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I happy? What am I do
am I with? If you believe you're

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happier, when you're happier, you
do better. Noticing when you're happy is

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really important. If I'm worn out
and exhausted, why is that what am

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I doing? How often is that
happening to me? That's where self awareness

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can become so important. That was
a beautiful illustration Chuck, and definitely,

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ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to
this, all of us are run by

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these patterns, right, and so
I love what we're talking about here,

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the opportunity to just get present to
these patterns out of running us because we

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are we live automated life. So
this is that was beautifully illustrated. Okay,

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Now if we go into essential behavior
in number three, ignite integrity and

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responsibility. What I want to just
say about this, and if you get

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one of you could speak to this, you say in that particular behavior,

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you say and I quote, by
admitting mistakes, you encourage others to take

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smart risks, fostering innovation and superior
performance. And then you go on to

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talk about what you know. Miles
Davis says is once you hit a wrong

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note, it's the next one that
makes it all good or bad. But

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that thing about admitting mistakes, I
know so many leaders who believe that they're

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supposed to know it have it all
down. So God forbid, I couldn't

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possibly admit a mistake. And I
think this is really powerful. So if

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one of you could speak to this
essential behavior of admitting mistakes through the lens

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of igniting integrity and responsibility. Well, there's admitting mistakes. I will have

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to admit I make a bunch of
them, and I earlier in my career

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it was a harder thing for me
to do was to admit the mistakes.

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And I found that by failing to
do so, I essentially sucked out of

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the organization the courage that people need
to have in order to admit mistakes so

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that things can be corrected. And
I also found, you know, we

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talk about igniting integrity and responsibility when
we developed the concept of the Moral Competency

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Inventory. My personal lowest score my
lowest score, and I think I'm a

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highly integral person. My lowest score
was standing up for what's right. I

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would occasionally witness the wrong behavior in
the work course, and rather than call

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it out, I would look the
other way or act like I didn't get

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it, and and that destroys trust, you know. So when we talk

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about igniting integrity and responsibility, it's
really critical for the health and well being

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of the organization. Because and Chuck
knows Stephen Mr Covey. I've met him,

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but don't know him. I newest
dad, but he wrote the books

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of trust. When you have integrity. You create trust. And we're talking

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behavioral integrity, which is more than
not lying. Not lying is as easy

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as not saying anything. If you
don't say anything, you won't have lied.

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When I didn't stand up for what's
right, I didn't lie. I

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just didn't say anything. Now I
didn't tell the truth. But but I

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didn't. I didn't lie, And
so we can hide behind non behaviors.

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But what we're talking about is behavioral
integrity. Tell the truth, stand up

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for what's right, keep your promises. These are behaviors. When those behaviors

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exist, trust exists. And the
speed of trust is fast coming down,

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slow going up. You know you
can destroy it quickly. And being responsible,

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I am personally responsible for an You
know, we grew fast last year.

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A number of the things there's growing
pains that happened our twentieth year.

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We had a great growth year.
Well guess what, When you grow too

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fast, you outrun your supplies.
And a lot of my commitments I didn't

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keep. I had to admit that. I admit that every day. So

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I wish I was perfect. I
am not. I make mistakes, and

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I must tell you I find it
remarkably uninspiring when people are unwilling to admit

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they do also, So with that, that's kind of the whole whole enchilade

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on it. Okay, a couple
of things, Dog, that was awesome,

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that was totally right there or worth
the price of admission. A couple

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of things. First, thank you
for modeling what it looks like to admit

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mistakes. That's what it looks like, ladies and gentlemen. You are real,

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You're vulnerable. You're this human being
with flaws walking about the planet beautiful.

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So that's the first thing I want
to say, Dog, thank you

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for showing us how it's done.
Secondly, um, Steven Mr Covey was

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on the show as well, and
he is a beautiful man and I got

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to have a beautiful conversation with him
and he's the real deal. So I

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just want to celebrate him once again
as you brought him up too. So

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more we could say about that,
but I want to keep going because there's

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so much goodness in your book that
I want to cover. But before I

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do, Chuck, did you want
to wagh into something real quick? I

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just been to tie back to your
point around creativity. You know, in

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order to grow, we have to
be willing to get uncomfortable. Yeah,

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we have talked about we will willing
to try new things. Well, when

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I try new things, the odds
of me making mistakes goes up. So

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when companies want to grow, they
have to encourage your people to try new

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things. If I take people's heads
off, I tend they make a mistake

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or I'm unwilling to meet my own
mistakes. I don't create to the point

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that Doug and Stephen M. R. Cowby were making vironment of trust people

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00:30:00.359 --> 00:30:04.599
keep their heads down and play it
safe. I don't get people's best efforts

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00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:10.279
connection to admitting mistakes. Yeah,
it's so beautiful, and there's more I

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00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:11.960
wanted to say about that, but
I do want to hit this next number

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number essential behavior number four, embracing
empathy and compassion, because that also,

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of course speaks to eliciting creativity.
But gosh, you know, I can't

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think of a leadership book today that
doesn't somehow speak to emotional intelligence and empathy.

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But the way you guys do this, which I think is really beautiful,

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is you contrast empathy and compassion.
And I'll just do that quickly,

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and then I would love for one
of you to talk about the empathy compassion

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00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:40.279
pathway. But the way you distinguish
this is you say, empathy is the

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ability to understand and appreciate what others
are thinking, feeling, and doing and

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why gorgeous. Compassion, on the
other hand, you say, involves taking

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the next step using what we have
come to empathetically understand about others the show

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00:30:53.440 --> 00:31:00.480
that we care about them concretely.
That is probably the best distinguishing piece that

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I have seen on empathy and compassion. So hats off, gentlemen. And

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00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:07.440
now if one of you could speak
a bit more to the empathy compassion pathway.

402
00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:11.039
You have four steps in that one
of you could speak to those would

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00:31:11.079 --> 00:31:15.680
be great. You want to go, Chuck, No, he was gonna

404
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.880
let you go for it, all
right. So one of the things when

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we think about being empathetic, and
as you mentioned, and I really appreciate

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how you set it up at least
because as we talk about it, compassion

407
00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:38.319
is empathy in action. And when
we talk about don't wait for somebody else

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00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:44.400
to fix it the title of the
book, there are a lot of empathetic

409
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:49.640
people waiting for somebody else to fix
it. They see the problems that others

410
00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:59.000
have, so to be empathetic and
compassionate. It really starts with understanding somebody

411
00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:02.559
else, and that begins with kind
of a curiosity. So I, you

412
00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:10.119
know, I actually want if I
don't care, don't ask right. And

413
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:17.480
this is Stephen R. Covey.
So the Steven R. Covey seven habits,

414
00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:22.839
this is seek first to understand,
right, Yeah, and you genuinely,

415
00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:30.759
and this is understand the person,
not just their problem. Understand the

416
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:36.359
person. Seek to understand. Be
curious about that. You know, we

417
00:32:36.359 --> 00:32:40.079
we we're gifted, you know.
Covey would talk about the gifts that we've

418
00:32:40.119 --> 00:32:46.400
been given. We we have this
gift of curiosity. We have an imagination

419
00:32:46.480 --> 00:32:51.400
that Chuck talked about, you know, and we have the self awareness.

420
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:55.519
I want to use all of that
stuff in getting in touch with somebody else.

421
00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:00.759
And one of the people that we've
worked with for the years who's at

422
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:06.519
Harvard University, her name is Helen
Reese, doctor Helen Reese. You may

423
00:33:06.799 --> 00:33:12.480
be familiar with her work on empathy, and empathy is really just getting in

424
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:17.200
touch. Be curious. And what
we know to be true is if I'm

425
00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:22.799
curious and I ask you about yourself, I will get to know you and

426
00:33:22.839 --> 00:33:28.960
I will get to understand you from
the inside out right, and so I

427
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:32.799
need to know who you are on
the inside. So what are your values,

428
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:37.279
what do you care about? And
I'd like for you to get to

429
00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:42.400
know me too, because we want
to build a little bit of trust in

430
00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:47.640
this process. So it starts with
and she uses an acronym, but think

431
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:52.359
of e as eye contact. We're
not in the same room, but we

432
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:58.759
can have some eye contact. I
can look to orize, but our eyes

433
00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:06.759
tell us something. And there's these
mirror neurons that are actually helping us biologically,

434
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:12.920
physiologically pattern one another. So if
I maintain eye contact with you,

435
00:34:13.639 --> 00:34:20.239
we will begin to pattern one another's
behavior. Pay attention to the what the

436
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:23.960
face is saying muscle, m muscle? What's your muscle? What's your face

437
00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:29.400
saying pee? What's your posture saying
hey, what's the affect of all of

438
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:35.360
this? Te what's the tone?
So pay attention to somebody, and when

439
00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:40.039
we do that, we can be
empathetic. And what we're talking about even

440
00:34:40.119 --> 00:34:45.039
in the four RS, when we
talk about paying attention to someone, the

441
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:51.440
first star is self awareness. Pay
attention to self. The second R or

442
00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:57.360
the second part of the first star
of recognition is recognize the other person.

443
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:04.079
That's empathy, and then re ignize
what is stimulating us, what's making us

444
00:35:04.199 --> 00:35:08.679
feel the way we feel, and
then we can bridge our way into being

445
00:35:08.760 --> 00:35:13.920
compassionate, which is, now,
what can I do about it? How

446
00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:17.760
can I actually help and not just
hope someone comes along and saves you.

447
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:25.360
Yeah, I feel at least I
surely hope someone does something. I think

448
00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:30.559
it gets back to the point around
influence. If if my job as a

449
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.639
leaders is to influence other people's behavior, that's part of what I'm trying to

450
00:35:34.679 --> 00:35:40.400
go for. Sometimes people get stuck
emotionally, like they don't understand something,

451
00:35:40.519 --> 00:35:45.320
or they have an issue outside of
work, the car accident, health issue,

452
00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:50.239
whatever, it is, something that
emotionally paralyzes them. If I'm not

453
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:54.280
empathetic to that, if I'm not
intutible that I can miss that and they

454
00:35:54.360 --> 00:36:02.280
stay stuck. So the empathy pathway
compassion pathway is I recognize. It's not

455
00:36:02.360 --> 00:36:07.119
sympathy, I recognize how you're feeling. How do I do that? It's

456
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:12.199
when I say you look upset,
you look concerned, you sound excited.

457
00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:15.840
I try and name it, and
if they say, yes, I am,

458
00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:19.880
I am upset well, then it
leads me to the second step,

459
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:23.039
which is tell me more what's going
on. Let's get to the bottom of

460
00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:28.599
that. Empathy is not sympathy sympathies. I feel what you feel. Empathies,

461
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.079
I recognize what you feel. So
tell me why you're stressed, tell

462
00:36:31.079 --> 00:36:35.400
me why you're upset. Well,
I had this happen. Now that gets

463
00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:37.480
to the third step, which is
I can help you deal with it,

464
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:42.840
and we put together a plan to
help you overcome it. It's not me

465
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:46.159
buying into what happened to you,
but it's helping you deal with it.

466
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:52.880
That's the compassionate part. That's beautiful. And then they feel supported and I'll

467
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:55.360
do what everything, anything for you, right because you get me and you're

468
00:36:55.400 --> 00:36:59.280
trying to help me. So let's
grab our last break. On that note,

469
00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:01.559
I didn't want to stop you because
I just was so into the moment

470
00:37:01.559 --> 00:37:05.519
and you were generating it so beautifully. But let's grab our last break.

471
00:37:05.519 --> 00:37:08.159
Here. I'm doctor Elise Cortez Move
on the air with Doug Lenik and Chuck

472
00:37:08.199 --> 00:37:12.719
Walkindorffer. They are the co authors
of Don't Don't Wait for someone Else to

473
00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:15.559
Fix It. We've been talking a
bit about some of the essential behaviors in

474
00:37:15.559 --> 00:37:16.719
the book. After the break,
we're going to finish with a couple more

475
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:36.199
state well Us. We'll be right
back. Doctor Elise Cortez is a management

476
00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:40.320
consultant specializing in meaning and purpose.
An inspirational speaker and author. She helps

477
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:45.719
companies visioneer for a greater purpose among
stakeholders and develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning

478
00:37:45.719 --> 00:37:51.719
infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment within the workforce. To

479
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:54.599
learn more or to invite a lease
to speak to your organization, please visit

480
00:37:54.639 --> 00:37:59.800
her at Elise Cortez dot com.
Let's talk about how to get your employees

481
00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:08.800
working on purpose. This is working
on Purpose with Doctor Elease Cortez. To

482
00:38:08.880 --> 00:38:13.559
reach our program today or to open
a conversation with a lease, send an

483
00:38:13.559 --> 00:38:19.639
email to a lease ali se at
Elise Cortez dot com. Now back to

484
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:28.000
working on Purpose. Thank you for
danying well us, and welcome back to

485
00:38:28.039 --> 00:38:30.719
Working on Purpose. I mentioned in
the last break about the launch of the

486
00:38:31.159 --> 00:38:35.199
So far we've been I think to
twelve or thirteen cities of the Purpose Enjoy

487
00:38:35.239 --> 00:38:37.440
Tour, the latest two books that
I wrote a part of those events.

488
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:42.159
So the tour experience. They are
the great revitalization, how activating meaning and

489
00:38:42.199 --> 00:38:45.920
purpose can radically enliven your business,
which helps leaders to learn how to build

490
00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:50.320
elevating and high performance cultures and leadership. It's my latest bout of research.

491
00:38:50.880 --> 00:38:53.320
The other of latest book is called
Coloring Life, How loss invites us to

492
00:38:53.360 --> 00:38:58.480
live more vibrant lives and that helps
people who are navigating laws to transform to

493
00:38:58.559 --> 00:39:00.440
growth and vitality. You can find
them both on Amazon, but come along

494
00:39:00.440 --> 00:39:04.400
with the tour. It's much more
fun if you're just joining us. My

495
00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:07.760
guests are Doug Linic and Chuck Wachendorffer. They're the co authors that don't wait

496
00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:12.639
for someone else to fix it in
the co founders of Think to perform a

497
00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:16.400
high performance leadership development firms serving small
and large organizations in a variety of industries.

498
00:39:16.639 --> 00:39:20.960
I am your host, doctor Eleas
Quartz. Of course, I wish

499
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:23.480
we had the ability to work through
all of your eight behaviors, but they're

500
00:39:23.480 --> 00:39:27.679
so media. Of course, we'll
get through maybe half of them or two

501
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:30.440
thirds of them. So the two
that I want to make sure that we

502
00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:35.880
cover next, of course, has
to be achieve purposeful goals. And what

503
00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:37.679
I loved about that when gentlemen,
if one of you could speak to this

504
00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:43.360
is you know you talk about you
encourage people to adopt the widom whiff them

505
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:45.840
I think is what you call that. Anyway, the goal achieved that model

506
00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:50.079
what stands for what do you want
for yourself? And this approach requires achieving

507
00:39:50.079 --> 00:39:53.000
self awareness about what you want,
applying an asset test to your goals,

508
00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:57.920
and following five clear steps for achieving
these goals. If you could just speak

509
00:39:57.920 --> 00:40:00.960
a little bit, I mean this
notion, I don't think from what I

510
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.119
can see in the work that I
do that a few people really do will

511
00:40:05.239 --> 00:40:07.719
first set out to achieve purposeful goals
and then but then two have a plan

512
00:40:07.840 --> 00:40:14.840
to do so Yeah, well you
know that's an interesting one too. By

513
00:40:14.880 --> 00:40:17.760
the way, I loved how you
pronounced it. We pronounced it witty whiffy

514
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:25.679
Okay, yeah, yeah, w
d y wfy and um and the and

515
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:32.000
the notion is and this really relates
directly to the alignment model. Getting what

516
00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:43.639
one wants for oneself is a rightfully
selfish process provided what one wants is in

517
00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:50.360
harmony with principles and values. So
achieving what I want in the middle frame

518
00:40:52.280 --> 00:41:01.239
is totally rightful, provided it's guided
by those principles and values. Those are

519
00:41:01.239 --> 00:41:07.159
the guidelines, and then it's as
simple and one of the things Chuck and

520
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:13.880
I spend a lot of time trying
to help people understand is simple and easy

521
00:41:14.079 --> 00:41:25.159
are not synonyms. All achievement is
simple and hard. It's simple and hard,

522
00:41:27.280 --> 00:41:32.559
and each of the steps can be
hard by itself. So the first

523
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:37.440
step is to just have a goal, which in the acronym whitty whiffy,

524
00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:42.880
there is no G. So the
first step you got to take that one.

525
00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:46.679
That's the asset test. So for
a want to become a goal,

526
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:52.400
it has to be a want that
passes the asset test. The asset test

527
00:41:52.559 --> 00:42:00.679
is can I, which means do
I have the talent and the skill and

528
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:07.960
will I? Will I decide?
Sort of talent plus skills plus decision making?

529
00:42:09.480 --> 00:42:15.400
Can I and will I afford it? And if the answers are not

530
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:20.719
yes and yes, I am dreaming, it's okay to dream, but that's

531
00:42:20.760 --> 00:42:25.000
not a realistic goal. So taking
the first step is plenty hard. The

532
00:42:25.079 --> 00:42:30.360
second step is to have a plan, plans come fully equipped in what we

533
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:40.599
call key activities. I nobody but
me must non optional, do non passive

534
00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:47.960
three words, I must do.
That's my plan. Third step, implement

535
00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:52.480
the plan. This is when it
gets ugly. Now I actually have to

536
00:42:52.519 --> 00:42:58.760
convert from deciding to doing, and
that's hard. By the way, a

537
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:04.280
lot of people have a plan that
they decide to execute and don't execute.

538
00:43:04.800 --> 00:43:09.800
There is a difference between decision and
doing. So we've got to decide and

539
00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:16.599
then accompany that with doing. That's
execution. That's the third step. Fourth

540
00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:23.840
step control direction. What that simply
means is your plan will not be perfect,

541
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:32.280
and implementation of your imperfect plan won't
work. So you will need to

542
00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:38.920
control direction. You will start out
and you will discover along the way you

543
00:43:39.039 --> 00:43:45.119
have to make corrections. You have
to make some course corrections, keep score,

544
00:43:45.480 --> 00:43:52.360
redirect and the fifth step is to
throw off discouragement. Full achievement comes

545
00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:58.519
fully equipped with discouragement, and if
you can't throw it off, it's going

546
00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:01.679
to kick your butt and you're going
to not get what you are wanting to

547
00:44:01.719 --> 00:44:08.679
get, which is rightfully yours,
provided it's in alignment with your principles and

548
00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:13.519
values. Now star at the chuck. Yeah, what we're talking about at

549
00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:19.000
least's goal. Difference between goal setting
and goal achievement. Yes, right,

550
00:44:19.079 --> 00:44:21.519
so a lot of people and I
just had this, I just had this

551
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:25.000
conversation with a company this morning.
They were really good at goal setting,

552
00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:30.199
right, we set a goal specific, it's measurable, attainable results based time

553
00:44:30.239 --> 00:44:34.840
bound. We've all heard the acronym
smart. What they didn't understand, and

554
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:39.039
to Doug's point, is what their
key activities were. Who's going to do

555
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:45.199
how much and how often to achieve
that goal. So when they realized is

556
00:44:45.199 --> 00:44:50.480
they set these goals but no idea
of key activities. Nobody answered the asset

557
00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:52.599
test to us because we didn't know
what we had to do to achieve that.

558
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:58.639
And they're not on track, not
even close. And it's so that's

559
00:44:58.639 --> 00:45:01.360
where people quit. They set a
goal, but they don't have the key

560
00:45:01.400 --> 00:45:06.480
activities, they don't answer the asset
test question and they fail, and they

561
00:45:06.639 --> 00:45:12.000
like have a bad expectation around setting
goals. So it's the it's all four

562
00:45:12.159 --> 00:45:15.079
steps, how a plan, implement
the plan, control direction, and throw

563
00:45:15.079 --> 00:45:22.079
off discouragement. That increased my odds
for goal achievement. Oh, we have

564
00:45:22.079 --> 00:45:23.800
a whole soul just about that couldn't
wait, Yes, don't get read to

565
00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:28.679
say we could have a whole show
about that. But you know, the

566
00:45:30.199 --> 00:45:39.320
thing about goal achievement is oftentimes people
assume that whatever plan they authored has to

567
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:45.960
be executed perfectly or it won't work. And the truth is the plan they

568
00:45:45.079 --> 00:45:52.480
authored is imperfect. They just don't
know that. Yes, they don't know

569
00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:55.000
that. So I'll use this as
an example. Since we're on TV,

570
00:45:55.199 --> 00:46:00.880
I can do this. Imagine here, my index finger is underneath my chin,

571
00:46:01.599 --> 00:46:07.840
and I decide my goal is to
get my index finger to the top

572
00:46:07.880 --> 00:46:13.719
of my head without leaving my face. Okay, so I've got to I've

573
00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:15.840
got to move this up here,
and I got to end up here.

574
00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:22.320
And you know, and I thought, well, my plan is the shortest

575
00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:27.320
distance between two points is a straight
line. So I decide, I got

576
00:46:27.320 --> 00:46:30.920
a plan. I'm going to go
straight up my face and I'm going to

577
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:35.199
be up here at the top of
my head. So now that's the plan.

578
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:39.559
Now I execute the plan and I
begin moving up. Now because I'm

579
00:46:39.599 --> 00:46:46.159
talking, my mouth is open and
cocking. My finger ends up in my

580
00:46:46.199 --> 00:46:51.280
mouth. All of a sudden,
I got to get out of my mouth.

581
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:55.880
I have to control direction. I
got to back up. I got

582
00:46:55.880 --> 00:47:02.480
to figure out another way. So
the process of controlling direction is taking steps

583
00:47:02.559 --> 00:47:09.159
one and two over and over and
over again until you get your index finger

584
00:47:09.679 --> 00:47:14.760
up to the top of your head. That's the deal. That was an

585
00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:21.119
extremely useful example. Of course,
where I went on that Doug was the

586
00:47:21.159 --> 00:47:22.760
only way to do that was to
go actually through your mouth, through your

587
00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:25.440
face, through your brain to the
top of this and that would probably not

588
00:47:25.559 --> 00:47:30.599
work out well for anybody. That
speaks to just how badly plans can be

589
00:47:30.719 --> 00:47:36.400
orchestrated too. Yeah, well yeah, but you can see how it plays

590
00:47:36.440 --> 00:47:40.320
out. But that's that's metaphorically what
we're trying to help people do goal.

591
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:47.320
But it is very doable. I
can say for absolute certain We've helped thousands

592
00:47:47.360 --> 00:47:54.400
of people achieve what they want for
themselves. Now, does anybody ever achieve

593
00:47:54.519 --> 00:48:00.840
perfection? No, So we talk
about progress, not perfection. Progress not

594
00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:04.880
perfection is the name of the game. We're not going to you know,

595
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:10.000
the human condition is such that we
will always see problem and opportunity in our

596
00:48:10.039 --> 00:48:15.880
circumstance, right so, and I
think that to that point around progress,

597
00:48:15.360 --> 00:48:20.719
the nice thing about the eight essentials
is you don't have to implement all eight

598
00:48:22.119 --> 00:48:27.440
If you start something out of one
of those essentials and start to implement it.

599
00:48:27.880 --> 00:48:30.760
You will have an impact in your
life or in your business. That's

600
00:48:30.840 --> 00:48:32.920
the nice thing is it'd be great
if I implement at all eight. That's

601
00:48:32.960 --> 00:48:37.480
probably not going to happen. I
mean, Doug and I are I'm sixty

602
00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:39.800
two years old, Doug seventy.
We've been working on the eight essentials,

603
00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:43.400
and I will still continue to work
on the essentials for the rest of my

604
00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:46.679
life. And there's always opportunities for
me to get better. But I could

605
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:52.039
start with focusing on one essential,
and I gues you'll have an impact.

606
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:53.559
Okay, So, Chuck, that
is a great way to finish the show.

607
00:48:53.559 --> 00:48:55.960
We are at a time and I
got to tell you that was beautiful

608
00:48:57.000 --> 00:48:59.280
because people could go, oh my
god, these eight things. I gotta

609
00:48:59.320 --> 00:49:00.840
get good at eight of these things. No, if you just did one

610
00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:04.199
of them, worked on one of
them, you would move the needle on

611
00:49:04.239 --> 00:49:07.320
the steel. So Dog, you
wanted to say something and we gotta gotta,

612
00:49:07.960 --> 00:49:10.559
I would say this. What we
wanted to do and what we've meant

613
00:49:10.599 --> 00:49:15.679
for this book to be is a
used book. Yes, I used book.

614
00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:22.800
And literally the idea is you can
open it up to any page,

615
00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:29.159
any chapter and if all you did
was focus on that one essential, it

616
00:49:29.199 --> 00:49:31.880
will change your life. Agreed,
Doug. Agreed, guys, I'm so

617
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:35.280
happy to know you. Thank you
so much for coming into my sphere.

618
00:49:35.360 --> 00:49:38.760
Mad pleasure. You can run,
but you can hide. I somehow show

619
00:49:38.800 --> 00:49:43.320
people's doors so it could happen,
just so you know. Thank you both

620
00:49:43.320 --> 00:49:46.440
for being on working on purpose.
It's a pleasure. Pleasures ours, thankfully,

621
00:49:46.639 --> 00:49:50.599
take care. Thank you, You're
welcome. Listeners and viewers. If

622
00:49:50.599 --> 00:49:52.519
you only about Doug Lenk, Chuck
walking door, if their work at Think

623
00:49:52.599 --> 00:49:55.000
to perform, order book, don't
wait for someone else to fix it.

624
00:49:55.079 --> 00:50:00.119
You can start by going to Think
the number two perform dot com, Think

625
00:50:00.199 --> 00:50:04.400
tooperform dot Com. Last week,
if you missed the live show, you

626
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:07.440
can almost catch it re recorded a
podcast. We were on the air with

627
00:50:07.480 --> 00:50:10.840
Travis James, the founder and chief
technology officer of Tribe Health Solutions, talking

628
00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:15.880
about his passione democratize health records and
put them into the hands of patients.

629
00:50:16.239 --> 00:50:20.960
He also gave us a very powerful
crimer on the uses of chat GPT.

630
00:50:21.800 --> 00:50:23.199
Next week will be on the air
with Curtis Bateman, who is the co

631
00:50:23.320 --> 00:50:28.079
author of Change, How to Turn
Uncertainty into tomorrow. See you there,

632
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:30.400
and remember that work as an integral
and important part of our lives and can

633
00:50:30.440 --> 00:50:34.880
be one of the best adventures and
means of realizing our potential and making the

634
00:50:34.920 --> 00:50:40.440
impact we crave. So let's work
on Purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this

635
00:50:40.440 --> 00:50:45.400
week's program. Be sure to tune
into Working on Purpose featuring your host,

636
00:50:45.480 --> 00:50:50.159
doctor Elise Cortez, each week on
W four CY. Together we'll create a

637
00:50:50.199 --> 00:50:55.239
world where business operates conscientiously, Leadership
inspires and passion performance and employees are fulfilled

638
00:50:55.239 --> 00:50:59.800
in work that provides the meaning and
purpose they crave. See you there,

639
00:51:00.159 --> 00:51:00.519
Let's work on Purpose.