Saving Lives: Unveiling and Addressing the Silent Epidemic of Loneliness
In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the often-overlooked issue of loneliness and its devastating impact on mental health and well-being. Join us as we sit down with Jinhyun Shin, a passionate advocate on a mission to prevent suicides and...
In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the often-overlooked issue of loneliness and its devastating impact on mental health and well-being. Join us as we sit down with Jinhyun Shin, a passionate advocate on a mission to prevent suicides and combat the epidemic of loneliness. Together, we'll explore the heartbreaking reality of individuals who feel unseen and unloved, and how simple acts of learning to share one’s feelings can make a life-saving difference.
Working on Purpose is broadcast live Tuesdays at 6PM ET.
Working on Purpose TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Working on Purpose Radio Show is broadcast on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Working on Purpose Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
1
00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:03.240
The topics and opinions express in the
following show are solely those of the hosts
2
00:00:03.240 --> 00:00:05.960
and their guests, and not those
of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are
3
00:00:05.960 --> 00:00:10.000
affiliates. We make no recommendations or
endorsements for radio show programs, services,
4
00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:13.519
or products mentioned on air or on
our web. No liability, explicit or
5
00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:17.359
implied shall be extended to W FOURCY
Radio or its employees are affiliates. Any
6
00:00:17.399 --> 00:00:20.839
questions or comments should be directed to
those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
7
00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:31.399
W FOURCY Radio. What's Working on
Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder
8
00:00:31.480 --> 00:00:35.200
the answer to this question. People
ache for meaning and purpose at work,
9
00:00:35.399 --> 00:00:40.399
to contribute their talents passionately and know
their lives really matter. They crave being
10
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:44.759
part of an organization that inspires them
and helps them grow into realizing their highest
11
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:48.719
potential. Business can be such a
force for good in the world, elevating
12
00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:53.240
humanity. In our program, we
provide guidance and inspiration to help usher in
13
00:00:53.399 --> 00:00:58.000
this world we all want Working on
Purpose. Now, here's your host,
14
00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:06.159
Doctor Relise Cortez. Welcome back to
the Working in Purpose Program. Thanks for
15
00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:07.920
tuning again this week. Great to
have you. This show has been on
16
00:01:07.959 --> 00:01:11.840
air since February of twenty fifteen and
is a pride and joy for me.
17
00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:15.200
I am your host doctor at least
Cortes. If we have not met before
18
00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:18.760
and you don't know me, I'm
an organizational psychologist and loco therapist, speaker
19
00:01:18.760 --> 00:01:22.319
and author. My team and I
at Gusto Now help companies to enliven and
20
00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:26.359
fortify their operations by articulating their purpose
and building inspirational leaders and cultures activated by
21
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:32.000
meeting and purpose to turn those companies
from a flatline EKG to a vibrant destination
22
00:01:32.079 --> 00:01:34.959
workplace. There people are intrinsically motivated
to perform at their best, can grow
23
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:38.840
into their fuller potential, and are
committed to stay and I'm deliver on the
24
00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:41.640
company's mission. You can learn more
about us and how we can work together
25
00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:47.400
at gustodashnow dot com or my personal
website at Leastcortes dot com. Now,
26
00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:51.159
let's get in today's program with us
Today. Is Jinyinshin, a mental wellness
27
00:01:51.239 --> 00:01:55.439
coach and entrepreneur and president and co
founder of Pensive, where they use perspective
28
00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:59.079
and reflection to strengthen mental health.
His calling in life is to help prevent
29
00:01:59.159 --> 00:02:01.840
suicides as a mental health entrepreneur,
he is one of many who are trying
30
00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:06.920
to help destigmatize mental health. As
a coach, he explores where loneliness has
31
00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:12.240
disconnected us from the communities we love
and provides language to reconnect. Joined today
32
00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:15.520
from Denver, Colorado, Ginion,
Welcome to Working on Purpose. Hi,
33
00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:19.840
thanks so much for having me.
I'm so excited to be here. I
34
00:02:19.879 --> 00:02:23.719
am thrilled to have you, my
friend, and I really applaud and embrace
35
00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:28.240
what you're doing with your one precious
life working on this. So thank you
36
00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:30.080
for that. Thank you for being
in service, being obedient to your purpose.
37
00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:36.199
It's not always easy, right,
definitely. Well, let's dive in
38
00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:40.759
straight away here to get our listeners
and viewers present to what we're so focused
39
00:02:40.759 --> 00:02:46.759
on improving. You shared with me
that doctor Vivic Murphy, who is the
40
00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:51.680
former US Surgeon General, raised the
alarm on the loneliest epidemic. What does
41
00:02:51.719 --> 00:02:53.479
that mean? What are we talking
about here? Oh man, we are
42
00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:57.919
diving right in. I'm so excited
to do that. Before I do,
43
00:02:58.039 --> 00:03:00.479
I just want to take a moment
to just honor you, doctor, at
44
00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:05.280
least a book that I really enjoy
an author I guess by extension. I
45
00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:08.240
really enjoy It's good to Great by
Jim Collins, right, and he provides
46
00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:14.319
excellent commentary on a lot of research
on you know, the power that the
47
00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:19.039
long like the longevity that companies have
when they can align their values with their
48
00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:24.520
mission, with their leaders. Right. And you give those people, you
49
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:29.759
know, a platform two for us
to get to listen to and examine how
50
00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:35.400
are people really doing that and executing
that. So while there are excellent comment
51
00:03:35.599 --> 00:03:42.120
commentators like Jim Collins or even podcasts
out there that listen in or just kind
52
00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:45.919
of provide their commentary and how businesses
are formed, that you give us a
53
00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:49.199
chance to listen to the creators themselves. And so, yeah, thank you
54
00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:52.960
for this platform as a listener and
a fan, and I'm absolutely honored to
55
00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:57.879
get to be here and talk about
this topic that I'm so very passionate about.
56
00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:00.719
Thank you, Jin and that so
beautiful, Thank you for those beautiful
57
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:05.560
words. Thank you absolutely so.
Yeah, let's talk about loneliness. It's
58
00:04:05.560 --> 00:04:10.400
a tough subject, so all of
listeners, hold on, we're gonna go
59
00:04:10.439 --> 00:04:14.759
for quiet the ride today. But
yeah, loneliness, how I like to
60
00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:18.839
define it is, it's this feeling
you feel when your experience and it's underlying
61
00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:27.519
feelings disqualify you from belonging, and
the epidemic manifests by disconnecting us from our
62
00:04:27.560 --> 00:04:31.800
communities and starving our need for social
interaction. I think we'll end up talking
63
00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:36.199
about how that's actually coming to,
like what outcomes that is manifesting in a
64
00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:42.879
minute. But something that I want
to highlight is the underlying feelings. As
65
00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:47.480
much as we hate to deny that
they bother us or they influence us,
66
00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:51.600
they're critical because at the end of
the day, they are the evidence we
67
00:04:51.800 --> 00:04:57.759
have the claim that no one can
relate to an experience we've gone through,
68
00:04:58.600 --> 00:05:01.720
and by the flip side, how
people can relate to us, how we
69
00:05:01.759 --> 00:05:06.480
can find a way to find commonality, find a way that we are not
70
00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:12.079
alone. So yeah, I'm going
to talk about feelings a lot today,
71
00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:16.959
but I promise if you stay with
me, my goal is just to provide
72
00:05:17.079 --> 00:05:21.079
language where you can talk to your
peers and your family and your friends about
73
00:05:21.079 --> 00:05:25.639
it. So yeah, that's kind
of a definition I like to work with.
74
00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:30.639
Awesome definition, and thank you.
Feelings are completely great with me.
75
00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:33.800
They're part of my world too,
So I'm okay with that. Awesome All
76
00:05:33.879 --> 00:05:36.800
right. Well, this is a
show called Working on Purpose, and some
77
00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:42.879
people when they come on are absolutely
governed and delivering and serving from their purpose.
78
00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:47.079
And you have a calling to help
prevent suicides in this loneliness epidemic time.
79
00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:51.680
So of course one of the things, one of the results of loneliness,
80
00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:56.480
tragic results, is suicide. Yeah, and I heard you say in
81
00:05:56.480 --> 00:06:00.720
one of the talks that I watched
on YouTube that it's one of suicide one
82
00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:02.560
of the top causes of death for
people one to forty four, among a
83
00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:06.439
couple others. Yes, what are
the others? And then let's let's kind
84
00:06:06.480 --> 00:06:10.000
of get into the numbers here.
What are we talking about. Yeah,
85
00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:13.120
let's let's talk about it because this
is the darkest part and then we can
86
00:06:13.160 --> 00:06:18.360
start to shed light into it.
That's right. Yeah, the top three
87
00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:24.519
causes of death, and the CDC
they published this between the ages of one
88
00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:28.680
and forty four to kind of represent
the average half life. And we'll talk
89
00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:32.480
about, you know, longevity in
a minute, but that between one and
90
00:06:32.519 --> 00:06:39.079
forty four, the top three causes
of death are first drug overdoses, second
91
00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:45.480
suicide, and third car accidents.
Right, that's been true since twenty thirteen.
92
00:06:45.560 --> 00:06:48.839
I believe then. You know,
it used to be car accidents,
93
00:06:49.079 --> 00:06:54.399
right, something that was something that
we were wielding and something that we needed
94
00:06:54.399 --> 00:06:58.240
to teach each other and ourselves how
to control. But you know, if
95
00:06:58.240 --> 00:07:00.839
we don't start doing that, teaching
each other how to control our mental health
96
00:07:00.879 --> 00:07:04.800
and how to check in on it. Right, these numbers about drug overdoses
97
00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:10.160
and suicides, I'm afraid are only
going to go up. We expand that
98
00:07:10.279 --> 00:07:15.560
now we take the age range off, right, you introduce eight more leading
99
00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:23.920
causes of death that I largely qualify
as biological decline. Right, it's a
100
00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:30.120
heart disease, seizures, liver failure, kidney failure. You'll introduce more biological
101
00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:35.439
decline, but those top three are
still right there, the only other edition
102
00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:43.240
being COVID. So yeah, even
when you zoom out and you look at
103
00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:47.879
life expectancy in the United States,
right, it's in the top four if
104
00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:53.920
you zoom out just a little bit. One of the things I did do
105
00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:58.040
a little research with the Center for
Disease Control and Prevention, and I saw
106
00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:03.720
that they said they were looking at
twenty twenty one and they said twelve point
107
00:08:03.720 --> 00:08:09.040
three million adults seriously thought about suicide. Three point five million adults made a
108
00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:13.839
plan and one point seven million adults
attempted suicide, and then it goes on
109
00:08:13.920 --> 00:08:18.120
to say that forty one hundred and
eighty three people died by suicide in the
110
00:08:18.199 --> 00:08:24.040
United States in twenty twenty one.
And just even just thinking, if even
111
00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:31.360
contemplating it, I just wanted just
presence, the compassionate and empathy that I
112
00:08:31.399 --> 00:08:39.039
want to extend anyone who's felt that
way. Yeah, definitely. It's you
113
00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:43.159
know, we talk about it in
terms of outcomes, and I think that's
114
00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:46.639
kind of where I'm trying to shed
light onto. This is before the outcomes,
115
00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:50.919
Right, there's there's a journey to
disconnect, and if you kind of
116
00:08:50.919 --> 00:08:54.879
feel like you might be in that
space, gosh, I want you to
117
00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:58.759
know that there are so many people
who have devoted their lives to finding you
118
00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:05.279
wherever you are. There are full
on institutions. Yeah, there are so
119
00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:09.039
many people that have devoted their lives
into therapy, into practices because they've been
120
00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:13.720
inspired by something that you felt.
So even if it's hard for you to
121
00:09:13.720 --> 00:09:18.639
believe that you are not alone,
yeah, stay stay with us here today,
122
00:09:18.759 --> 00:09:22.159
and I hope that I can shed
some light into your situation. Wherever
123
00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:26.279
you are, and if you're not
in that situation. Yeah, I think
124
00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:31.000
I really believe we'll be able to
help us kind of increase your empathy,
125
00:09:31.840 --> 00:09:37.799
how to how to kind of identify
this around your communities too well. One
126
00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:41.200
of the things that I have really
gotten privy to over the years of hosting
127
00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:45.360
the show Jinian in my own research, is that very often you know our
128
00:09:45.399 --> 00:09:50.039
own story, whether whether it's what
we've gone through or what we've found meaningful
129
00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:52.919
in life, can lead us to
our purpose. And you, of course
130
00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:56.799
have your own story and connection to
loneliness. Let's talk a little bit about
131
00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.600
you. Yeah, it's like for
you to navigate life. Yeah, for
132
00:10:00.679 --> 00:10:05.840
sure. The journey to where I
have arrived is largely based on lived experience,
133
00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:11.480
right. So, I remember in
seventh grade it was my I was
134
00:10:11.480 --> 00:10:15.639
on this journey of wondering what time
was. And if you have any kids
135
00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:18.879
who say that, just know that
they're kind of going down a dark path.
136
00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:24.480
One day I found it. I
was laying in bed with my eyes
137
00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:31.600
closed, just trying to clear my
mind, and I suddenly just had I
138
00:10:31.639 --> 00:10:33.759
don't know, I feel like I
just was able to identify the absence of
139
00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:39.480
time, that being death, all
right, And I was so scared by
140
00:10:39.559 --> 00:10:45.320
that that what followed was about one
year of crying myself to sleep every night,
141
00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:52.759
and yeah, just wondering, why
does anything that I do matter in
142
00:10:52.840 --> 00:11:01.679
this absolute blip of time that I'll
have in relation to history. Yeah,
143
00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.679
That's what I was thinking about in
middle school. And I was just thinking
144
00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:07.200
at the time, like, there's
no way anybody's thinking about this, and
145
00:11:07.240 --> 00:11:13.799
I can't tell anyone that. And
eventually what pulled me out was this just
146
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:18.159
kind of like resignation to well,
there's still a lot of life to live,
147
00:11:18.399 --> 00:11:24.679
so you might as well try to, you know, be curious about
148
00:11:24.919 --> 00:11:28.440
maybe let's start small, what makes
life worth living for other people? And
149
00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:35.919
sure enough, I have now spent
just one on one time with hundreds,
150
00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:43.399
truly hundreds of people to where I've
just always been asking, like what makes
151
00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.840
life worth living? Through that,
I've learned that we're all on this never
152
00:11:48.039 --> 00:11:54.159
ending search for what we want in
return for our time, and what makes
153
00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:58.320
that hard is well, along this
journey, we all have times and we
154
00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:05.440
feel lonely and disconnect from our surroundings
where it's uncomfortable to just be. When
155
00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:09.000
we're uncomfortable being that's that's when we
feel alone. Right, that's the difference
156
00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:13.919
between loneliness and solitude where you can
find great comfort and being by yourself.
157
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:20.919
But at that discomfort and being by
yourself that such a such a fine line
158
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:24.960
we can slide into. So yeah, I can, I can expand there,
159
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:26.759
but happy to have you to pause
there too. Well. I want
160
00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:33.519
to just really first acknowledge and celebrate
you as someone who is so thoughtful.
161
00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:37.120
I don't know of any seventh graders
who were wondering about time. I mean,
162
00:12:37.279 --> 00:12:41.120
I'm just gobsmacked that that's where your
mind and heart and soul were at
163
00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:43.919
that time. And I have to
say, I'm you know, you're a
164
00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:48.679
philosopher, and that voice of yours, my friend, was beautiful. But
165
00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:52.159
when you when you say the you
know, it encourage you that the absence
166
00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:58.440
of time would be death. That
is incredibly I don't know, smacking,
167
00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:01.559
it's just it really is so So
I just really want to acknowledge your journey,
168
00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:05.759
your very unique journey. You also
talk a little bit, You're welcome
169
00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:09.480
also talk a little bit too.
It just the pressures of what it was
170
00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:13.399
to be raised as a Korean young
man, and you know that went along
171
00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:16.279
with that too, with maybe just
say a little bit about that as well.
172
00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:18.399
Yeah, for sure. It is
certainly part of the I think,
173
00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:22.679
Korean American experience, and I haven't
gotten to confirm this much except through this
174
00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:26.879
blog post. I've had a few
people reach out to me, and that
175
00:13:28.039 --> 00:13:33.480
is just in the Korean culture,
pressure produces diamonds. It's like the one
176
00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:39.120
unyielding law. So the only way
that I could ever relieve myself from that
177
00:13:39.159 --> 00:13:45.600
pressure and defend myself was by being
the best. So it was always about,
178
00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.200
you know, I played a couple
of instruments, and I needed to
179
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:52.720
be first chair in everything. I
needed to qualify for a masterclass on the
180
00:13:52.720 --> 00:13:56.519
piano. I needed to be school
president, I needed to be all these
181
00:13:56.559 --> 00:14:01.960
things. And yeah, that I
think is also why I get so nervous
182
00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:07.879
around cameras and audio equipment because for
me, growing up, cameras and audio
183
00:14:07.879 --> 00:14:11.600
equipment was filming practice, and my
mom would film practice so I could review
184
00:14:11.639 --> 00:14:18.159
it and it was just, you
know, just nitpicking, and that that
185
00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:24.080
would get really tough, especially in
this time where I'm wondering why does anything
186
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.639
that I do matter? Yeah,
so, yeah, yeah, that was
187
00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:31.679
a pretty rough, pretty rough kind
of Yeah, a lot of a lot
188
00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:35.639
of different kinds of pressures pressing on
you know, what's the point of life
189
00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:37.960
at that point? Yeah? Oh, all right, well, let's do
190
00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:41.639
this geny, and let's let our
let our listeners and viewers let this sink
191
00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:46.840
in and maybe consider for themselves sometimes
in their lives when things really got incredibly
192
00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:50.399
overwhelming or they wondered what's it all
for? And take our first break.
193
00:14:50.840 --> 00:14:54.440
I'm your host, Doctor Lee's Protest. We've been on air with Ginia and
194
00:14:54.440 --> 00:14:56.799
Shin. He's the president and co
founder of Pensive, where they use perspective
195
00:14:56.840 --> 00:15:03.919
and reflection to strengthen mental health.
We've been talking about the seriousness and pervasiveness
196
00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:07.159
of the loneliness epidemic and some of
the ramifications like suicide and other things.
197
00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:11.480
After the Rick, we're going to
get into this notion of being able to
198
00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:16.039
get more present to our feelings,
to understand what's under that data that comes
199
00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:33.960
with them. Stay with this,
will be right back. Doctor Elise Cortes
200
00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:39.039
is a management consultant specializing in meaning
and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author,
201
00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:43.120
she helps companies visioneer for a greater
purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired
202
00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:48.759
leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate
fulfillment, performance and commitment within the workforce.
203
00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:52.200
To learn more or to invite a
lease to speak to your organization,
204
00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:56.720
please visit her at Elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get your
205
00:15:56.759 --> 00:16:07.000
employees working on purpose. This is
working on Purpose with doctor Elise Cortes.
206
00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:11.000
To reach our program today or to
open a conversation with Elise, send an
207
00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:18.399
email to Alise Alise at eliscortes dot
com. Now back to working on Purpose.
208
00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:26.120
Thanks for staying with us, and
welcome back to working on Purpose.
209
00:16:26.120 --> 00:16:30.879
I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes, as I am dedicated to helping create
210
00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:33.519
a world where people realize potential at
work, are led by inspirational leaders that
211
00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:37.600
help them find and contribute their greatness. And we do business at Betters the
212
00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:40.399
World, which is some of the
things that Ginuin had said before. I
213
00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:42.360
needed to research and write my own
books, So one of my latest came
214
00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:47.120
out in March of twenty twenty three. It's called The Great Revitalization. How
215
00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:49.960
activating meeting and purpose can radically enliven
your business, and I wrote it to
216
00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:55.519
help the readers understand the lay of
today's workforce, What do they want and
217
00:16:55.639 --> 00:16:59.159
need to be meaningfully engaged and stick
around? And then I provide twenty two
218
00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:03.440
best practices to you create a culture
to to presence that for them. You
219
00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:07.119
can learn more about it at my
website at a Leastquortes dot com or just
220
00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:10.599
go on Amazon for your copy if
you are just joining us. My guest
221
00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:14.680
is Ginya and Shin. He's a
mental health mental wellness coach and an entrepreneur
222
00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:18.359
at Pensive, where they use perspective
and reflection to strengthen mental health. His
223
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:22.039
calling in life is to help prevent
suicides. As a mental health entrepreneur,
224
00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:25.680
he is one of many who are
trying to help destigmatize mental health. As
225
00:17:25.720 --> 00:17:30.279
a coach, he explores where onliness
has disconnected us from munities we love and
226
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:34.480
provides the language to reconnect. Beautiful, Okay, now let's get back to
227
00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:38.839
those those those feelings that you talked
about. I too, I too work
228
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:42.200
in the feeling space, and so
I appreciate this, and I really really
229
00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.599
this is one of the reasons I
keep hosting the show giniin is that I
230
00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:48.200
learned so much from my guests.
And I had told you that I had
231
00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:53.839
had somebody else on the program before
who was using they were tracking mood to
232
00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:59.079
try to address mental health and wellbeing, and you indicated that your research is
233
00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:02.759
it's more are useful to focus on
feelings. So if we could talk about
234
00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:07.279
what's the difference and why are is
it more effective to focus on feelings?
235
00:18:07.640 --> 00:18:11.240
Yes, yes, yes, oh
man, allow me to begin with that
236
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:17.039
slightly snarky, satirical comment. Okay, let's do it. One day,
237
00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:22.200
everybody is going to turn ten years
old and you're going to realize that life
238
00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:27.440
cannot be categorized into five moods.
I'm seeing these five moods like everywhere now.
239
00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:30.480
I see them in journaling apps,
I see them in the Apple Health
240
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:37.200
Kit, and to try to do
so, I think it's just reductive to
241
00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:42.359
a point that's self inflicting. A
great we experience just nuance in life,
242
00:18:44.359 --> 00:18:48.880
and frankly, nuance is where we
find the inspiration to take the next act
243
00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:53.640
to better ourselves. Like take nostalgia
for example. Right for me, that's
244
00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:59.480
some aggregate of like a light shade
of sadness and a deeper sense of joy
245
00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:03.319
and combined it's it's quite fulfilling,
and it inspires me to seek out new
246
00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:11.440
experiences that might make some sort of
feeling concoction that's fulfilling or like you know,
247
00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:15.799
close to as fulfilling is whatever I
was originally nostalgic about. And there's
248
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:22.079
just no way I could reduce that
into a singular a singular mood I think
249
00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.839
to consistently do so would make me
feel like I have to I have to
250
00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:30.640
be happy or I'm failing, and
that disincentivizes engaging with life with a curiosity
251
00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:36.440
that has like you know, long
term questions. If I'm always just having
252
00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:38.640
to face at the end of the
day of today I'm sad or today I'm
253
00:19:40.039 --> 00:19:44.519
angry, it's just kind of telling
myself I've failed to be happy. And
254
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:48.599
that's that that has been confirmed by
you know, a lot of the mental
255
00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:55.640
health practitioners I work with. They
might ask how your mood is in an
256
00:19:55.680 --> 00:20:00.839
introductory meeting, But all these therapy
clinics I see more and more they have
257
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:04.799
feelings, wheels everywhere, because life
is nuanced, and that's how we make
258
00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:08.960
meaning out of life is exploring that
we want. So, yeah, I
259
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.839
do have a little personal vendetta against
mood trackers, but I don't it's not
260
00:20:14.920 --> 00:20:19.400
as uncommon in the field that I
originally thought it was. I really appreciate
261
00:20:19.400 --> 00:20:22.319
that explanation, and we align so
much to you and so much just quickly
262
00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:26.920
of what I've come to see that
is part of my work in helping activate
263
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:32.400
meaning and purpose in organizations and the
people along the way their own individual transformation
264
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.839
journey is. You know, we
start off in life being able to access
265
00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:40.759
a hole gamut of the human emotional
spectrum. We're angry, we're joyous,
266
00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:44.799
we're sad, we're frustrated, we're
all these things. And you know,
267
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.200
as life goes on and we learn, you know, we're not supposed to
268
00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:48.960
share all these feelings, and then
life stumps on us. And then so
269
00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:52.839
by the time I meet somebody in
their thirties or forties, they went from
270
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:56.640
this huge emotional spectrum down to about
something small like this. So then my
271
00:20:56.839 --> 00:21:00.559
job is partly to help them open
that's get back up again so they can
272
00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:07.680
experience the wild wonder of life and
therefore be able to access their sources of
273
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:11.319
inspiration and create something and connect beautifully
in a way that they couldn't if they're
274
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:17.880
just working from that teeny little slice
of emotions. We are so aligned it
275
00:21:17.960 --> 00:21:22.079
beautifully said. Yeah, yes,
yes, I heard you talk about this
276
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:26.440
recent on a recent episode, and
I was just I was just stopping the
277
00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:30.960
floor and clapping. Uh so,
yeah, good good. I love that.
278
00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:34.400
Well, we're we're we're we're going
arm in arm here in this world.
279
00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:38.839
Yes, absolutely, Well, I
really enjoyed reading. I read a
280
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:41.880
couple of your blogs as well in
preparation for this conversation, and one of
281
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:47.119
the blogs that you have contains a
passage I wanted you to expand on because
282
00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:48.480
it really caught my attention. It
might be related to what we're just now
283
00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:52.400
talking about, but you were saying, as we move through life, between
284
00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:57.279
our conditions and our circumstances, we
keep looking for significant consequences that contain an
285
00:21:57.319 --> 00:22:03.359
AHA moment that complete the puzzle of
self actualization. Somewhere in this process,
286
00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:07.119
typically at the reflection stage, Aha, we have found the final piece that
287
00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:11.279
makes all the pieces make sense.
We know we have reached self actualization through
288
00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:17.359
some version of I had to go
through blank to become someone blank. So
289
00:22:17.559 --> 00:22:21.400
I'm interested because I do some kind
of an exercise like this too. How
290
00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:26.079
and why is this important to mental
health and well being? Yeah? That
291
00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:27.880
is so loaded and it is.
It is very well aligned with what you
292
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:34.920
were just talking about. You had
mentioned, you know, conditions and circumstances,
293
00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:42.720
right circumstances. They can sometimes force
us to retool our conditions. Maybe
294
00:22:42.759 --> 00:22:48.920
we were once much more expressive and
today we are less. Or sometimes they
295
00:22:48.920 --> 00:22:53.000
can force us into situations where,
you know, our priorities sometimes feel like
296
00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:56.279
a forced hand, and that changes
the conditions of our hearts as well.
297
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.920
If I can use a little bit
of an illustration, I like to imagine
298
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:08.200
life like one big house. This
is going to maybe hopefully tie together some
299
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:11.319
of the things I was talking about
before with all these one on one conversations.
300
00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:15.960
But I've been very, very blessed
and privileged to get to or in
301
00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:19.160
this house. I should say,
everybody gets one room. We all get
302
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:22.319
the same size room because we all
get twenty four hours in a day.
303
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:27.440
And I have been very blessed and
privileged to get to be welcomed into many
304
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:33.480
rooms. I have seen the accolades
on their mantles, and the achievements on
305
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:37.720
the walls, the pictures, the
names that correspond with people's names on the
306
00:23:37.799 --> 00:23:41.440
chairs every once in a while,
the shames that are tucked away in their
307
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:48.680
vaults, and what I have learned
is the things that people are collecting and
308
00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:53.079
truly most proud of are those pictures
on the walls. But those are the
309
00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:59.599
moments they're trying to relive. And
rarely do I see a wall full of
310
00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:03.839
just happiness. There's trials, there's
overcoming, there are low points, because
311
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:07.680
people want to remember what they came
from and how far the journey was.
312
00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:14.319
And that's when I came up with
this idea that, oh, I don't
313
00:24:14.359 --> 00:24:18.720
think life is about happiness. I
think life is about moments of astonishment,
314
00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:22.920
to these moments that make us say
aha in life. And my evidence for
315
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:26.000
that is because when I ask people
about those aha moments, and I say,
316
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:30.759
if you got to know that at
a previous point in life, right
317
00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:33.880
before all the trials and adversity,
would you have liked to have known?
318
00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:38.480
And the answer is always no.
Sometimes I hear somebody say, I don't
319
00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:45.079
want my kids to go through that. But my journey is what's made me
320
00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:49.119
who I am today. How it
relates to how can we get ahead of
321
00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:52.720
that right? How can we apply
that to our mental health and our mental
322
00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:59.480
well being. The toughest thing that
I face when I am just coaching people
323
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:04.880
one on one about mental health is
breaking this concept of happiness being the end
324
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:11.680
all, be all goal of your
well being. Right, I'd like to
325
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:15.279
live with my own mantra like,
don't live life with the luxury of knowing
326
00:25:15.319 --> 00:25:18.920
you're going to live tomorrow. But
at the same time, you know,
327
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:22.880
have goals that are aligned with who
you think you can be. Right,
328
00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:27.960
That's that's how you maintain your integrity
on the outside at least, and then
329
00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:33.279
how that affects the inside the mentals
that that will start to foster a curiosity
330
00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:40.400
for meaning and purpose being where there
is an acceptance for not having all the
331
00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:44.480
answers. Right, You've got to
get to that point of not having all
332
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:48.079
the answers in peace, at that
point to where you can actually start to
333
00:25:48.119 --> 00:25:52.759
get ahead of your mental health and
say, oh, you know, I'm
334
00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:56.920
waiting for my AHA moment. That's
all this is. And if I can
335
00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:00.000
be present in this right now,
I think it, I'll only get there
336
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:06.480
sooner. So then that's where I
also pulled out this definition of mental health
337
00:26:06.599 --> 00:26:10.119
is I think at its simplest form, your mental health is your ability to
338
00:26:10.119 --> 00:26:15.160
be present. That's it, Right, And I listen to people talk about
339
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:21.319
mental illness versus mental health or mental
health problems and gore chronic mental health problems,
340
00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:26.319
and it's all it's all a lot
of concentric circles. The way I
341
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:29.519
like to put it is, mental
illness are people. People who have mental
342
00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:36.880
illnesses are people who are at a
chemical disadvantage of being present, and mental
343
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:41.119
health is something we all have to
fight with, to battle with to be
344
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:45.240
present. There's so much going on
all the time now when we are all
345
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:49.839
looking at screens for what at least
six hours a day. Yeah, mental
346
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:55.759
health is absolutely something we need to
just work into our regular vocabulary and then
347
00:26:55.839 --> 00:27:00.599
have the empathy and sympathy for people
who have mental illnesses. So yeah,
348
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:04.039
I kind of spun out there,
but yeah, that's I hope I was
349
00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:10.799
able to touch on just you know
how like happiness and aha moments have their
350
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:17.799
own moments or have their own I
guess, influence on just being present in
351
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:21.960
the day to day staff. That
was beautifully presenced, beautifully Okay, So
352
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:23.759
that takes me where we wanted to
go to where I wanted to go next
353
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:29.759
anyway, And that is you really
served up for us this notion the importance
354
00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:34.119
of being aware of yourself and your
feelings and such. So I want to
355
00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:37.759
get you to talk a little bit
about and you've you know, your own
356
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:41.559
journey and what you're created will help
us get I think, get access in
357
00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:45.079
a more fresh way. But how
can we start to increase our awareness for
358
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:49.759
our conditions and circumstances in a way
that can positively impact our our mental health
359
00:27:49.799 --> 00:27:53.599
and well beings. So I be
interested from the individual standpoint, and then,
360
00:27:53.640 --> 00:27:56.720
of course, how can we help
others around us? Yeah? Great
361
00:27:56.759 --> 00:28:00.440
question, great question. I like
that this really grounds as back to like
362
00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:03.400
like one hundred level concepts where I
feel like I was just kind of in
363
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:07.480
a very theoretical space. I loved
it, yummy, but yeah, just
364
00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:11.440
in the very practical sense. A
word that I think is like being thrown
365
00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:17.640
around in a very positive, well
intentioned way is mindfulness. And then I
366
00:28:17.640 --> 00:28:21.119
think we get a little lost as
far as what mindfulness is and how it
367
00:28:21.160 --> 00:28:27.680
takes shape. But mindfulness I like
to define as practicing being present and then
368
00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:32.920
within that, there are two forms
of mindfulness, two kind of categories.
369
00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:37.519
The first one is reductive mindfulness.
Reductive mindfulness are things like yoga, meditation,
370
00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:42.039
exercise. If you think about all
the noise we feel in life,
371
00:28:42.440 --> 00:28:47.319
right, it kind of cuts out
a lot of the noise and it helps
372
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:53.799
us feel centered again. That's how
people often feel after experiencing or practicing reductive
373
00:28:53.880 --> 00:29:00.119
mindfulness, and an additive mindfulness is
when you're taking whatever is left and you
374
00:29:00.200 --> 00:29:06.119
are creating meaning, you're searching the
meaning of what's left. This is things
375
00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:11.440
like therapy, like reflecting in a
small group like Bible studies, men's groups,
376
00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:17.400
women's groups, or journaling. And
actually a friend of mine who's also
377
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:21.880
a pastor, he put this so
well. He said he encourages journaling for
378
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:26.440
people because it's it's the last step
where when you get through it, it
379
00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:32.519
feels like taking rocks out of a
backpack. You feel this immense sense of
380
00:29:32.599 --> 00:29:37.640
peace when you do face whatever feelings
are left and you're able to find a
381
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:41.920
meaning in them. Yeah, some
people are able to do that just kind
382
00:29:41.960 --> 00:29:45.599
of reflecting by themselves in a journal
or in a sanctuary like a church,
383
00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:49.720
and other people they prefer more of
an exchange, right, so they'll enter
384
00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:56.799
therapy or small groups like I had
mentioned. So those are some practical ways
385
00:29:56.839 --> 00:30:03.440
that. Yeah, I think that
if you have a good combination of reductive
386
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:07.799
and additive mindfulness techniques, and you
will always be able to just say,
387
00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:11.039
hey, I'm not feeling very present. Here's something I can just try out
388
00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:18.359
for myself real quick and set myself. That's beautiful. Really like that reductive
389
00:30:18.359 --> 00:30:22.759
and additive techniques. Okay, so
we were talking about increasing awareness for our
390
00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:26.880
own mental health and wellbeing. I
don't think we can really not talk about
391
00:30:26.920 --> 00:30:33.000
the impact of social media on this
frontier. And I was really quite astonished.
392
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.480
I didn't know this, but you
mentioned to me in one of your
393
00:30:34.519 --> 00:30:41.279
exchanges that the top social media companies
that just left Congress defending the safety and
394
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:45.960
integrity of their platforms in New York
City sued those companies for their negative impact
395
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.000
on mental health. So the question, I guess, is, to social
396
00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:55.000
media make it harder to practice mindfulness
or being aware of oneself? Yes?
397
00:30:55.519 --> 00:31:00.559
Yes, so, yeah, a
handful of companies like tiktoks, Chat,
398
00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:06.279
Instagram, Discord, and an x
we're just in Congress for a week defending,
399
00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:11.319
yeah, the integrity of their applications. But if we just narrow down
400
00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:15.279
on making it harder to be present, right, I think it doesn't take
401
00:31:15.319 --> 00:31:22.039
a lot to be able to pry
that open right on a very cold,
402
00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:29.160
just numbers approach. Social media companies
make money by generating impressions for their marketers,
403
00:31:29.720 --> 00:31:33.279
which means they have to keep our
attention and make us engage with content.
404
00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:37.920
So they fabricate an experience that gets
us to press on our phones and
405
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:45.480
they call it connection. That kind
of sucks. I don't know. And
406
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:48.119
if you remember what I said about, like in the beginning about feelings being
407
00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:52.119
evidence to support a claim, well, these companies show us that, like,
408
00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:56.000
these show us issues we care about, and the feelings they're able to
409
00:31:56.079 --> 00:32:00.039
generate then become evidence to support their
claim that their health things be connected.
410
00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:05.319
Right, And it's like this vicious
loop of well, I don't really feel
411
00:32:05.359 --> 00:32:10.119
any more connected, but you're triggering
feelings that I have, so I feel
412
00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:15.200
like I want to then re engage, and then suddenly, I don't know,
413
00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:20.440
I've never really walked away from social
media feeling like, oh, yeah,
414
00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:25.519
I feel much more centered now,
you know. Yeah, he'scott has
415
00:32:25.799 --> 00:32:30.680
brain dumped all the stuff that I'm
supposed to feel more connected by. But
416
00:32:30.920 --> 00:32:37.240
I feel exhausted and like my brain
just went for a spin. Yeah,
417
00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:42.960
So I'm rooting for New York frankly, they're they're they're suing all these companies
418
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.480
for over one hundred million dollars.
I think it's actually one hundred million dollars.
419
00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:50.359
Eric Adams mayor Eric Adams and his
staff to point out, like,
420
00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:52.920
hey, you are causing. You
are part of the problem, so be
421
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:58.559
part of the solution. So yeah, certainly, yeh wow. All right,
422
00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:01.039
Well let's let our listeners viewers think
about that. What kind of social
423
00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:04.920
media are you consuming? And maybe
is that a good thing for you?
424
00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:07.559
While we take our last break here, I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortez.
425
00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:09.839
We r on the air with Ginya
and Shin. He's a president and
426
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:14.880
co founder of Pensive, where they
use perspective and reflection to strengthen mental health.
427
00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:19.799
We've been talking a good bit about
this notion of feelings versus mood and
428
00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:22.920
how we can start to get more
present to ourselves. After the RIK,
429
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:28.000
we're to learn how Ginian and his
team have actually created a way for us
430
00:33:28.079 --> 00:33:45.960
to better connect. Stay with us. We'll be right back. Doctor Release
431
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:50.839
courts Has is a management consultant specializing
in meaning and purpose. An inspirational speaker
432
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:54.759
and author, she helps companies visioneer
for a greater purpose among stakeholders and develop
433
00:33:54.799 --> 00:34:00.279
purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures
that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment
434
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:05.079
within the workforce. To learn more
or to invite Alise to speak to your
435
00:34:05.160 --> 00:34:08.840
organization, please visit her at elisecortes
dot com. Let's talk about how to
436
00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:19.880
get your employees working on purpose.
This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise
437
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:22.960
Cortes. To reach our program today
or to open a conversation with Elise,
438
00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:30.159
send an email to Alise ALISEE at
eliscortes dot com. Now back to working
439
00:34:30.239 --> 00:34:38.480
on Purpose. Thankteresting with us,
and welcome back to working on Purpose.
440
00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:42.920
I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes. I mentioned in the last break about
441
00:34:42.920 --> 00:34:45.400
my latest book coming out last March
of twenty twenty three, The Great Vitalization.
442
00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:49.719
What I did for you to help
you along the way in your journey
443
00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:53.440
is to help start to create a
destination workplace for yourself. Is I gave
444
00:34:53.559 --> 00:34:58.599
on my website a three page assessment
that you can use to see the extent
445
00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:02.480
to which your current culture practices are
meeting the needs of today's workforce. So
446
00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:07.559
it's at gustodeshnow dot com. If
you are just joining us now. My
447
00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:10.199
guest is Ginia and Chin. He's
a mental wellness coach and entrepreneur at Pensive,
448
00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:15.039
where they use perspective and reflection to
strengthen mental health. His calling Your
449
00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:19.679
Life is to help prevent suicides,
and he has been working diligently with his
450
00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:22.199
team to be able to do just
that. So we'll learn more about this
451
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.199
as we go. Okay, so
before we get into more of what you
452
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:29.039
and your team have created, which
again I just have so much respect for
453
00:35:29.159 --> 00:35:30.800
you've seen something and you're like,
Okay, what can we do about it?
454
00:35:30.840 --> 00:35:35.679
But we'll get to that. I
do want to hear your perspective and
455
00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:38.639
what does it mean to be in
touch? And how is that different from
456
00:35:38.719 --> 00:35:44.599
just from being connected. Yeah,
that's a really really good question, and
457
00:35:44.639 --> 00:35:49.159
I think this is the nuance that
I've been exploring a lot lately, because
458
00:35:50.519 --> 00:35:53.360
when we were first searching out on
like how do we solve this problem,
459
00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:57.280
A lot of people could relate to
I feel like I'm out of touch with
460
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:00.239
my people, but I also feel
like I'm more connected to the world.
461
00:36:01.199 --> 00:36:06.280
And it was a massive gap that
everyone was looking at and kind of scratching
462
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:10.239
their heads, is how can that
be possible. Isn't technology supposed to help
463
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:17.159
fill this gap? And it wasn't
until I really thought about like my upbringing
464
00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:22.559
that I think I kind of noticed
where this emphasis on connection was able to
465
00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:29.599
split from being in touch. And
you know, I thought about when my
466
00:36:29.719 --> 00:36:32.320
parents would you know, take us
to grandma's house for example, when I
467
00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:37.559
was a kid, I would always
want to like resist and I'd always just
468
00:36:37.559 --> 00:36:39.880
think it's always boring to go to
Grandma's house. We never do anything.
469
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:45.159
We just we just kind of hang
out and we said. It wasn't until
470
00:36:45.159 --> 00:36:50.719
I got much older that I came
to appreciate that time to just be No
471
00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:57.400
Grandma wanted exactly that she wanted to
hear my inner monologue and get to just
472
00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:02.440
receive me and ask me questions,
reflect with me. And I had noticed
473
00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:06.719
that. I think, or how
this kind of then, you know,
474
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:12.440
transposes us into connection versus being in
touch is you know, connection is really
475
00:37:12.519 --> 00:37:16.079
driven by productivity, you know,
what is the latest news, what has
476
00:37:16.199 --> 00:37:22.360
been done lately? Where being in
touch is more the analysis and the time
477
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:28.400
the examination to look at each other
and think, well, how has what
478
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:35.960
I've done actually influenced my identity or
built my identity or otherwise impacted my identity.
479
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:39.679
And I think it's the lack of
those conversations on our communities that are
480
00:37:39.679 --> 00:37:44.079
making us feel like we are out
of touch with our friends and our peers
481
00:37:44.119 --> 00:37:50.599
and sometimes even our family members.
So yeah, that kind of then forced
482
00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:54.800
us to look at how can technology
help us to be to be in touch
483
00:37:54.840 --> 00:38:02.000
with each other? Yeah, so
much in that, And I just really
484
00:38:02.039 --> 00:38:07.599
appreciate your thoughtful, contemplative nature.
There's just so much and everything that you
485
00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:12.440
say has just such a in your
rear word nuance to it, and so
486
00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:14.800
so much we're getting from this genue. This give me the show, ladies
487
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:16.559
and gentlemen that you're gonna have to
listen to a few times to be able
488
00:38:16.599 --> 00:38:20.920
to get more and more out of
this. All right, So where I
489
00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:23.559
want to go next is we did
talk about social media before, and you
490
00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:28.320
just brought up the idea of technology. Yeah, and I've had a couple
491
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:31.599
of other conversations with guests talking about, you know, how to interrogate content.
492
00:38:31.679 --> 00:38:35.239
I'd love to hear your perspective on
what people can do to be more
493
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:40.000
critical of the content they interact with
and consume. Yeah, I should probably
494
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:45.000
clarify that I don't think all content
is inherently bad. I think some people
495
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.599
might think that I'm making that way, like I love watching TV or movies,
496
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:52.400
you know, And where I'm just
more critical of social media is because
497
00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:55.800
the constant engagement is draining, Right, I kind of mentioned this before,
498
00:38:55.840 --> 00:39:00.559
but yeah, I rarely feel as
though I pull away from social media thinking
499
00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:05.239
I'm more present in my surroundings.
Right, I'm just like scatterbrained, and
500
00:39:05.320 --> 00:39:09.639
I know it's not good for my
mental health. So this is kind of
501
00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:14.519
a pretty big jump into like a
I want to say, like a four
502
00:39:14.599 --> 00:39:17.320
hundred level concept. And I'm you
hear me referencing these numbers because I'm currently
503
00:39:17.320 --> 00:39:22.079
working on writing a book. But
I think the best way to defend against
504
00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:27.719
just the onslaught of information is to
know and establish your personal values. So
505
00:39:27.800 --> 00:39:30.840
I kind of teach this too kids
in their like young twenties, to try
506
00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:36.920
to set them up for independence.
But values, in their simplest form,
507
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:42.920
they're just themes that summarize what you
want in return for your time. And
508
00:39:43.079 --> 00:39:47.159
you would be surprised how quickly you
could point out your own right if as
509
00:39:47.199 --> 00:39:51.519
a listener, if you want to
just Google a list of values, I
510
00:39:51.639 --> 00:39:53.679
challenge you or I encourage you to
just take a look at, like what
511
00:39:53.719 --> 00:39:59.920
would your top three be. And
the reason why you're going to be able
512
00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:05.280
pick them out so quickly, especially
as an adult, is because you've spent
513
00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:09.960
a lot of time with heartache and
pride and everything in between, and those
514
00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:17.960
those were related around these values and
how they impacted your time and how they
515
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:22.760
inspired you. But yeah, when
you can know your personal values, I
516
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:27.280
think that's the best way to ensure
that you show up in a consistent way
517
00:40:27.960 --> 00:40:30.960
and that you know you can then
kind of have a filter in the future
518
00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:37.079
for how to be critical about the
content that you interact with. For sure
519
00:40:37.119 --> 00:40:39.920
digitally, but I think it will
translate into the real world as well.
520
00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:45.639
Yeah, it's funny you bring up
values. I have a list of one
521
00:40:45.719 --> 00:40:49.159
hundred values that I use when I'm
speaking to audiences that I then distribute and
522
00:40:49.199 --> 00:40:52.119
flisters viewers. If you want that
list, you can reach out to me
523
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:54.119
and get it from me. It's
at least at least coore test dot com.
524
00:40:54.199 --> 00:40:57.519
But yes, many people tell me
that they don't know their values,
525
00:40:57.760 --> 00:41:05.119
and yet it's so arrest providing clarity. When you define them when you actually
526
00:41:05.199 --> 00:41:08.519
isolate them. So I love that. That's beautiful. Okay, So next
527
00:41:08.519 --> 00:41:12.159
thing I want to get to then, because one of the things that i'mware
528
00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:15.000
of this is both I wanted the
conversation to be both about how can we
529
00:41:15.039 --> 00:41:19.199
really get more present to ourselves but
also to other people, people that we
530
00:41:19.239 --> 00:41:22.760
work with, people that we care
about. So the next question then is
531
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:25.199
how can we get better at checking
in on the mental health of our friends
532
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:30.079
and our peers. I mean,
how many times do we hear about somebody
533
00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:34.639
having a horrible situation life sometimes even
take in their own life and their friends
534
00:41:34.679 --> 00:41:38.039
and family and peers did not know
they were suffering. MM, thank you
535
00:41:38.079 --> 00:41:43.719
for asking this question. I call
myself a community builder and I'm always thinking
536
00:41:43.719 --> 00:41:45.440
about, you know, how we
can help each other out. So I'm
537
00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:52.480
glad we get to give them just
tactical, tactical things for community members and
538
00:41:53.639 --> 00:42:00.920
my number one piece of advice as
somebody who is not a clinician, right,
539
00:42:00.960 --> 00:42:05.079
I have no extra letters after my
name. I'm not a researcher,
540
00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:09.400
right. This is all just lived
experience, and what brought me so far
541
00:42:09.960 --> 00:42:15.639
is frankly, just asking questions,
asking questions in a way where I'm not
542
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:22.079
solutioning with people, you can always
start with people's mental health by just asking,
543
00:42:22.360 --> 00:42:27.039
Hey, what's been making it hard
to be present? You have that
544
00:42:27.159 --> 00:42:30.480
language now, and I please for
me. You can even blame me if
545
00:42:30.519 --> 00:42:35.199
people are uncomfortable with other questions,
say I heard this guy doctor Lees is
546
00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:42.920
a podcast and he dared me to
do it. But as they start to
547
00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:46.960
share, just be curious as they
examine how they've been interpreting their surroundings,
548
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:53.320
and that can lead to really grounding
conversations. Right, all individuals are capable
549
00:42:53.360 --> 00:42:59.719
of making decisions and living with the
consequences. But what's really encouraging is when
550
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:05.960
some one will help us talk through
preparation or the aftermath, you know,
551
00:43:06.079 --> 00:43:10.920
without being told what needs to be
done or what I should do right here
552
00:43:12.039 --> 00:43:16.159
here. Yeah. Oh that bears
repeating listeners and viewers. This question that
553
00:43:16.199 --> 00:43:19.760
you can serve up to your family, your friends, your peers, people
554
00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:23.000
at work. What's been making it
hard for you to be present? What
555
00:43:23.119 --> 00:43:28.920
a great question. Okay, now
let's go on to what you're doing at
556
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:30.840
pensive now. One of the things
that I appreciated about our first conversation is
557
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:35.920
we learned we both had a similar
sort of career in management consulting, and
558
00:43:35.920 --> 00:43:39.159
that you left yours, as did
I. Both of us left that respective
559
00:43:39.159 --> 00:43:43.800
field to go found our own thing
that was near and dear to our hearts,
560
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:46.239
that allowed us to live our purpose. So let's hear a little bit
561
00:43:46.239 --> 00:43:52.599
about what were you doing before you
started pensive and why did you take the
562
00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:57.199
leap to do pensive? Yeah,
I was in management consulting, and after
563
00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:02.079
a couple of years of trying to
figure out how do I separate myself from
564
00:44:02.079 --> 00:44:06.280
just being a generalist, I've found
it. And it was when I leaned
565
00:44:06.280 --> 00:44:09.840
into being a community builder, and
you know, I found techniques to help,
566
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:16.280
you know, people at the highest
levels of the organization just listen more
567
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:22.960
effectively to people across the organization.
And while I was enjoying that very much
568
00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:29.440
and it was going very well,
unfortunately it wasn't directly serving my calling in
569
00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:32.880
a way that I thought I could
more effectively. When I look at technology,
570
00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:38.360
I look at just incredible potential for
community because it's something that's all in
571
00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:43.719
our pockets, right phones. We
all have computing power as powerful as our
572
00:44:43.800 --> 00:44:46.480
laptops in our pockets. I actually
have. I just got a new phone.
573
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:51.320
It's more powerful, it's got more
RAM than my laptop. So you
574
00:44:51.320 --> 00:44:53.360
know, we have all this great
technology, and to me, that's great
575
00:44:53.400 --> 00:45:00.440
potential. And I think where I
saw this opportunity was, hey, how
576
00:45:00.480 --> 00:45:06.840
do we actually get each other to
use these devices in a way where we
577
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:13.440
are serving each other and not just
passing information? And that just yeah,
578
00:45:13.480 --> 00:45:16.480
thats chewed at me for so long
that unfortunately I needed to leave my last
579
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:20.199
company. I understand, my friend, that's what happened to me too.
580
00:45:21.320 --> 00:45:25.480
I get it. Well, I'm
really intrigued with just the I guess the
581
00:45:25.960 --> 00:45:30.960
clarity of how you describe what you
do at Pensive. You say, we
582
00:45:30.079 --> 00:45:34.920
use perspective and reflection to strengthen mental
health, and then you went on,
583
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:38.440
you see, mechanically we use sharing
in a feelings wheel techniques we learn from
584
00:45:38.480 --> 00:45:43.559
mental health practice to promote belonging and
peace of mind. I did download the
585
00:45:43.559 --> 00:45:45.679
app, I have not been able
to get into it yet because it gives
586
00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:49.360
me I got stuck and that was
on my side. So that I want
587
00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:52.880
you to tell us more about about
this notion of this feelings wheel. Yes,
588
00:45:53.079 --> 00:45:59.280
the feelings wheel is how we are
trying, how we Pensive are trying
589
00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:05.159
to courage all of us as a
society to take a step with feelings together.
590
00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:09.719
We're in a place where, you
know, people are saying mental health
591
00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:13.800
is health, and that's awesome,
But when we go a level deeper,
592
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:17.199
just one level deeper, it really
does come down to can we look at
593
00:46:17.239 --> 00:46:24.079
feelings like information informing our identities.
That's the next step we have to take
594
00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:29.880
in for us to get there.
And for men, I know that the
595
00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:35.079
issue is still if I talk about
feelings, somebody will consider me weak just
596
00:46:35.159 --> 00:46:37.840
in general. Right. Shaquille O'Neal
right now is in major headlines because he
597
00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:44.440
says he never shares his emotions with
anybody, because he says if you tell
598
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:45.280
it, and especially to women.
He says, if you tell it to
599
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:47.880
a woman, they will throw that
right back and use that against you.
600
00:46:49.440 --> 00:46:52.360
Right. So this is still extremely
prevalent today. And then for women,
601
00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:58.559
what makes it very challenging is women
know how to articulate their feelings, but
602
00:46:58.920 --> 00:47:02.239
women are afraid of being a burden
with their negative feelings on their peers,
603
00:47:02.559 --> 00:47:06.599
and so even when their peers are
trying to offer that space out, they'll
604
00:47:06.599 --> 00:47:09.119
shy away from it. And yeah, for fear of being a burden and
605
00:47:09.119 --> 00:47:15.320
burdening others. So that's to me
where I see this wonderful potential of hey,
606
00:47:15.639 --> 00:47:20.719
what if we use a digital space
right to be able to inform each
607
00:47:20.719 --> 00:47:24.199
other how we are being right?
Because the more we neglect this, I
608
00:47:24.199 --> 00:47:30.679
don't know why we just keep turning
away from this. Looking at feelings like
609
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:32.719
data is the way that we like
to put it. And that's that's our
610
00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:38.199
goal right now. Our mission is
just to help people see feelings as data.
611
00:47:38.599 --> 00:47:44.840
We're wearing technology to sleep to see
when we flinch or sneeze or cough,
612
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:49.920
right, And that's entertaining for the
first few weeks, but at some
613
00:47:50.039 --> 00:47:54.239
point that's not what's going to help
you get in touch with yourself or your
614
00:47:54.320 --> 00:48:00.639
peers any deeper in the journey of
a stock or words astonishing moments. Right,
615
00:48:00.719 --> 00:48:07.719
it's feelings that are the fuel,
and I hope that technology can yeah,
616
00:48:07.880 --> 00:48:14.119
play a positive, helpful role in
that journey. It's fantastic. Now
617
00:48:14.119 --> 00:48:15.679
we're almost I did the close of
the show here and I want to give
618
00:48:15.679 --> 00:48:20.119
you a chance just to share the
vision of pensive. So listeners and viewers,
619
00:48:20.119 --> 00:48:23.440
from my vantage point, what I
teach for my practice is vision is
620
00:48:23.480 --> 00:48:28.320
what happens when you're the purpose of
your organization is fully realized. So it's
621
00:48:28.360 --> 00:48:34.639
a futuristic view. So for you, what's the vision of pensive, oh
622
00:48:34.679 --> 00:48:39.880
Man? For me, the vision
of pensive is where, you know,
623
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:47.519
I think the ultimate purpose of technology
is to find this like symbiotic relationship with
624
00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:54.239
humanity. And the signal for me
that pensive will have found a symbiotic relationship
625
00:48:54.280 --> 00:49:04.119
with humanity is when we talk about
value and feelings in a way that authenticates
626
00:49:04.199 --> 00:49:07.719
our experiences, the ones that we
buy into, the one that we reflect
627
00:49:07.760 --> 00:49:13.480
on. Yeah, you know,
it's just everyday language where it's like,
628
00:49:13.519 --> 00:49:16.000
hey, my core values, for
example, I probably should have shared this
629
00:49:16.159 --> 00:49:22.559
earlier are loyalty, compassion, and
courage, And through those three lenses,
630
00:49:22.599 --> 00:49:28.400
I really can boil down my entire
life experiences of my proudest moments and my
631
00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:32.199
toughest ones. But yeah, I
think we just have to take one step
632
00:49:32.719 --> 00:49:37.800
by practicing being and hopefully technology can
help us get towards that beautiful Ginya,
633
00:49:37.800 --> 00:49:40.719
and this has been an incredible conversation. Thank you so much for lending your
634
00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:45.039
heart and soul and beautiful brain to
working on a purpose. And glad to
635
00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:49.320
know you as well. Thank you
so much for having me. Of course,
636
00:49:49.400 --> 00:49:52.199
listeners and viewers, you're going to
learn more about this man and what
637
00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:54.320
he's doing with his team. So
this is a ginin shin we've been on
638
00:49:54.360 --> 00:49:57.840
the air with. You can check
out what he and his team at Pensive
639
00:49:57.880 --> 00:50:02.960
are doing at pe civ. Is
how you spell pensive pe nciv dot com.
640
00:50:04.199 --> 00:50:07.639
You can also then find the app
with the same name and check that
641
00:50:07.679 --> 00:50:10.400
out. It's free, downloaded and
get started, and then join us next
642
00:50:10.400 --> 00:50:15.599
week for another delicious serving of inspiring
thought, leadership on creating destination workplaces,
643
00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:17.519
and other such matters. See you
there. Remember, work is one of
644
00:50:17.519 --> 00:50:21.960
the best adventures and means of realizing
our potential and making the impact we crave.
645
00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:28.519
So let's work on Purpose. We
hope you've enjoyed this week's program.
646
00:50:28.760 --> 00:50:31.960
Be sure to tune into Working on
Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes,
647
00:50:32.119 --> 00:50:37.280
each week on W four CY.
Together we'll create a world where business
648
00:50:37.360 --> 00:50:42.880
operates conscientiously, leadership inspires and passion
performance, and employees are fulfilled in work
649
00:50:42.920 --> 00:50:45.960
that provides the meaning and purpose they
crave. See you there, Let's work
650
00:50:46.079 --> 00:50:46.760
on Purpose.