March 31, 2026

Don’t Lose Yourself: Staying Strong, Sane, and Grounded in a Divided World

Don’t Lose Yourself: Staying Strong, Sane, and Grounded in a Divided World
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The world feels louder, harsher, and more divided than ever. It’s easy to get pulled into the chaos—reacting, withdrawing, or simply feeling worn down by it all. But losing yourself in the noise comes at a cost. So how do you stay clear, centered, and strong? In this episode, Dr. Ciaramicoli brings 45 years of experience as a clinical psychologist sitting with people in their darkest moments while helping them to heal and reconnect with the deeper strength that allows you to rise above division.

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions express in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not

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W FOURCY Radio.

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What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

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answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose

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at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their

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lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization

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that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their

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highest potential. Business can be such a force for good

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in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide

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guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we

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all want working on Purpose. Now here's your host, doctor

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Elise Cortes.

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Welcome back to the Working Purpose Program, which has been

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brought to with Passionate Prize since February of twenty fifteen.

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Thanks for tuning in this week. Great to have you.

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I'm your host, doctor A Lease Cortes. Most leaders are

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sitting on untapped human energy. I help them unlock it.

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I'm an organizational psychologist, logo therapist, workforce advisor, and the

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founder of the Gusto Now movement. But the title I

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live by, which is actually much simpler, is just simply

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eye traffic and energy.

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That's what I do.

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That's my jam, not service level motivation or another engagement initiative.

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The deeper force what I call Gusto, the life force

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for performance that drives commitment, perseverance, and genuine ownership of

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a shared mission in the clients we serve. You learn

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more about us and how we can work together at

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gustodeshnow dot com, or you can visit my personal site

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at least courtes dot com for information about my speaking

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in books. In today's program, we have with this back

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for our think the fifth time. Doctor Arthur Cerra McCaulay.

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He's a licensed clinical psychologist who has been treating clients

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through more than forty five years. He is the author

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of several books, including Echoes of the Heart, A Journey

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to Emotional freedom, inn strength and self love, and the

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power of soulful healing turning wounds into wisdom. Today we're

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talking about his latest book, Soul Fire, Igniting Inner Strength

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and a Fractured World. He joined today from outside of

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the Boston area. Doctor c As his patients and friends

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often call him a hearty welcome back to working on purpose.

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Good to see you, Elise.

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How are you, my beautiful friend. I'm so happy for you.

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This last beautiful book that you put out. I think

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you said you feel like this is your best yet.

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It was.

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It's just chock full of so much wisdom, your wisdom

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and years of experience in so many practical ways to

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be able to really ignite your soul fire. So I

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just really want to say thank you for doing this

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yet again.

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Sure you're very welcome. So I know.

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Because I know you, and I also because I read

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the book. But so I know your book is really

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informed from these forty five years that you've had serving

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in clinical psychology, and I really appreciate just who you are.

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I know that you're sitting with them in their darkest moments.

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We're also helping them grow into their higher potential over

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the years. So you've already written so many books already,

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Why did you need to write this one.

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I was really driven to write this book at least

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because of what's happening in our country. I mean, we're

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at a time where if you express your truth, you

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could lose your job, your friends, your safety.

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And we're at a time with a lot.

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OF's voices outweigh the wisest, and outrage seems to be

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more acceptable.

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Than reason and civility.

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And we see among our leaders that division is used

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as a way to gain political cloud rather than bringing

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together people in unity.

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So I was thinking, what can I do? Because every

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day my.

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Patients, my friends come to me, especially my patients, people

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who are vulnerable at this point in their lives, and

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they're just filled with worry and fred and saying, you know,

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what's going to happen next, what's happening to our World's

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happening to our country. So I felt that I needed

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to write something that would help people cope with this

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fracture time, because I don't believe we are in a

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fracture time.

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Indeed, indeed, those of the listeners and viewers who haven't

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read your book yet or aren't really acquainted with the topic.

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What is soul fire, Well.

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Soul fire is that aspect of ourselves that where goodness lies,

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and many many theoticians that described it as the spark,

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the divine spark, the soul. I like the idea where

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something Theatricians that has declared.

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It as the breath of God, meaning that it's a

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place where the essence of us is located, our truth,

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our day.

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And I think in these times we don't always remember

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that it's there because people are so put down and

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the burden of living in this current culture has really

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costs them in terms of stress, anxiety.

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And depression, so we lose track of what soul fire is.

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But when you look over history, I mean you had

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soul fire Moses and Martin Luther, King Gandhi, Harriet Tubman,

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Machado in Venezuela, and I think even President Yulenski in

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the Ukraine. I mean, these people have brought together in

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unity their whole countries where they were under tremendous stress

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and pressure, and they located that part of themselves that

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spreads so far is an ember that's inside all of us.

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But then when we express it and we are out

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of the people who also have it, or we allow

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other people's.

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Embers to start to fire.

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We see that this is a mechanism that not can

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only change individuals and societies, it can change the world.

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You know, I'm reminding me, Arthur.

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I think the first time I had you on the podcast,

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and this for years ago. I don't remember which book

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we were talking about that thinks. I think this is

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your fifth appearance, and you are the winner, by the way,

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people we guessed before you, my friend, take the prize

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for the greatest number.

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But one of the things that impressed.

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Me about about you then, and I want to say

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this here now again, is I really appreciate that you

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are a learned man and you also have reverence and

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respect for all the religions of the world, talk about

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working to try to heal a fractured world.

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I really appreciate that about you. Thank you very much.

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Thank you.

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I try to learn from every tradition because I think

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they all have something to give us.

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They do too, Yeah, I do too.

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One of the things I thought was interesting that I

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have to have you speak on here is you say

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in this book that then it's really about the great remembering.

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I think what I mean by the great remembering at least,

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is that people don't always realize that there is this

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strength with them, that our truth lies, and it can

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be buried by circumstances. We know it can be buried

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by personal circumstances, but it can also be buried by

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societal circumstances.

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And I think many Americans have.

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Forgotten that it's there because people always say to me, well,

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I don't feel.

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Like it can do anything. I feel it. I'm just helpless.

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Well you're not, You're not.

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I mean, look, we just have the largest rallies in

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the history of the United States the other day.

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So we can do something. We can do something.

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We can address prejudice, we can address people who are

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not acting in appropriate ways, are overly aggressive. Many people

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want to avoid those kind of conversations, but I think

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if we.

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Can have them within the indignity.

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They're necessary because we have to get back to understanding

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each other, not opposing each other.

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We're in us and them society. There's the good guys

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and the bad guys.

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And historically for society that has destroyed nations.

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We have to form a unity, which has been missing

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for some years now.

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So your book starts by talking about how we recognize

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that our inner spark is still there. I think it

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would be useful for our listeners and viewers for you

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to describe what people look like and feel like, and

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how they're moving about the world when that inner spark

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has been eclipsed or diminished. What does that look like.

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I think you know it's there and it's manifested when

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you're using love more than fear, when you are speaking

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your truth rather than doing what's convenient, when you're not

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falling into the cynicism that it exists so much in

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our country right now. When you oppose those forces and

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you stick to your own beliefs and values, then you

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are expressing your soul.

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Far And that's so I wanted to contrast that because

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I think it's so important for listeners and viewers. Oftentimes

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they may not have recognized. I mean, I can tell you,

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you know, I have a phrase that you're familiar with.

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I call it the walking dead. This is where people

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aren't connected to their soul fire or so really what

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lights them up at all, and they're just kind of

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going through the motions. They're on the hamster wheel. And

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oftentimes when I describe that to people, they're like.

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Oh my god, that's me.

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And I think that's an important part of this whole

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journey is to start to recognize I do I got

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stuck here. I do need some help, I need a

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way out, I need illumination, I need help, or maybe

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I need a hand held partner to take me through

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this journey with me.

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I think when you're with other people who think in

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this way, you know. One of the most point of

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stories in this book is about my friend Jimmy, who.

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Was a longtime friend from my childhood. He was our

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paper boy.

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He and I were at extremes political polar posits, and

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he would always tease me come into our home, like

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if we were having people over and he'd come in

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and I one time I.

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Had CNN on and he looked at it and he goes,

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you're not going to get the real truth from them.

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And he would poke and poke and poke, but he

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never had slanted me.

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He never got angry, and at times I would get

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more intense than he would because he was sort of

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teasing me about thinking that I was so naive to

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not believe.

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This mag of movement. Okay, but why do I use

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him as an example?

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Because I found out recently that he was at the

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end of his life and we hadn't spoken in two

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years because the last time he was at our home

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he left and he supposedly I was told by other

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people that he was upset with me because I said,

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I don't want to get into this political discussion, but

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if you want to, I'm going to tell you what

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I think.

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And I did, and we didn't. I sent him an.

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Email, text message, phone message, but he never responded to anything.

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So I thought maybe what I was hearing was true.

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He was upset with me. So I went to the

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hospital and seeing when he was at the end of

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his life. In the first thing he said to me

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with tears in his eyes, he held out his hand,

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wanted me to hold his hand, and.

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He said, we hugged it out, right.

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I said, yeah, we hugged it out because I hugged

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him before before we left on that night where we.

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Had this disagreement. He goes, just want we hugged it out.

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So what he was saying is that our relationship, our love,

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our compassion for each other was more important than political views.

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He came to a book signing that I did three

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years ago.

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And I know that he was not particularly favoring maybe

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what I had written about, but he came.

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Why did he come? Because his friend had written a book.

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That's why. That's right. Now, that's not beautiful.

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We had opposite views, but that didn't interfere with the

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love of respect we had for each other.

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Today we're encouraged to hate the other people.

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You know, our president said at a memorial recently that

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he hates his enemies. Is not listen, Well, this is

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the opposite of what my friend would advocate. He would

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never said that he didn't hate because I thought different.

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That's what the fractured world, that's what promotes it.

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Understanding Why can't we have different points of view?

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We've had different points of view and arristry always without

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hating and seeing another another.

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Party as the enemy.

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Yeah, reminding me of something really that speaks to this.

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I was exposed to this idea, and then I got

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to host a Jeffersonian dinner a couple a couple of

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years ago through the Conscious Capitalism Dallas chapter. So a

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Jeffersonian dinner is it comes from President Jefferson, who would

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oftentimes assemble people who have very different viewpoints around his

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dinner table, and the whole point of the evening was

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to be able to unite people, to let people speak

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and share their very different views, and that there was

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it was going to be done in a respectful way

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where everybody could.

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Hear it and listen to it, take it in.

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And then the idea was is that those individuals would

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leave and go back to their respective homes, communities or whatever,

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and that knowledge, that new knowledge would then flow into

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that and be disseminated with them through that person and

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so sharing the idea. That's just I love this idea

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of come to the table with a different perspective. And

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there's rules, of course, to host the Jeffersona dinner, and

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you can't just id only oppose it to a person

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who speaks. There's ways to be able to respond. But

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I think, boy, it wouldn't it be amazing if we

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could have more of those kind of everyday Jeffersonian moments.

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There was a time in this country where that existed.

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I mean, you know, John McCain and Kennedy, and Kennedy

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were good friends to the best friend. And Nancy Reagan

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told the sorry about tif Oneil and rural Wigan arguing

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in debatings.

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A two o'clock in the morning, where she had to

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come down to the kitchen take and say, go to

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venue two.

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You're ridiculous. And yet when Reagan was shot, who was

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the first one on his bedside, Tip Oeil and he said,

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I love you missed the President.

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That's because they were both patriots. They believed in what

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they were doing was for the good of the country. Today,

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I think what has to serve so many people is

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we have very ego driven leaders who are there for

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their own benefit, not necessarily for the benefit of the country.

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And the ways they're acting, the ways they're talking are

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the kind of.

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Language we've never heard in our lives because it's filled

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with hate and resentment and sadism, and that's so, so

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so destructive.

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Yes, indeed, I want to let our listeners and viewers

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just think about that for a second, just reflect on

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this idea of the fractual world that we live in,

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and also consider, of course, what can you do to

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be a service to be able to heal that. So

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let's take our first qu do that. I'm your host,

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doctor Elise Cortez. We're there on the air with doctor

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Arthur Cerra McCauley. He's a licensed clinical psychologist who has

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been treating clients for more than forty five years. I

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guess patients for forty five years, sitting with them as

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saying they navigate some of their darkest days and reaching

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for their higher states and growth.

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We'll be right back.

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Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

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and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies

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visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired

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leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and

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commitment within the workforce. To learn more, or to invite

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at least to speak to your organization, please visit her

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at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get

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your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose

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with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or

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to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to

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Elise Alise at elisecortes dot com. Now back to working

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on purpose. Thank you staring with us, and welcome back

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to working on purpose.

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I'm your host, doctor release Cortes, as I'm dedicated to

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help them create a world what organizations thrive because our

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people thrive are led by inspirational leaders that help them

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find and contribute their greatness. How we do business in

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a way that better's the world. I keep researching and

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writing my own books. So one of my ladies came

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out is called The Great Revitalization. How activating meaning and

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purpose canoretically and live in your business.

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And I wrote to help.

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Leaders understand today's discerning workforce. What do they want and

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need to be able to give you their best and

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stick around? And then I offer you twenty two best

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practices to provide it for them through your leadership and

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your culture. You can find all my books on Amazon

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or on my personal site at least cortenessa dot com

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if you are just now joining us. My guess is

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doctor Arthur Cierra McColley. He's the author of Soul Fire,

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Igniting Inner Strength at a Fractured World. So I wanted

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to dig a little deeper into some of the concepts

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you talk about in the book. As we go along here,

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certain listeners and viewers can get a deeper understanding of

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what it is and to walk away from the program

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putting to use some of the things that you're going

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to teach us on this on the show, and I

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thought it would be interesting if we could talk about

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maybe one or two of the kindling your core practices

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that you talk about, whether that's the physical, the mental,

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and spiritual them give them something they can immediately start

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to use when they leave the program.

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I think one of the most important things in terms

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of kindling kindling your soul fire is to be.

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Able to pause and not be overly reactive. You live

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in a very overly reactive.

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Culture right now, so take a moment, sometimes even be silent.

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You don't have to respond immediately think through things. That's

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where empathy comes into conversations, because if we don't slow down,

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we can't have empathy. When we speed up and we're overreactive,

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we produce stress, homeows, we produce repetitive, obsessive thinking.

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And we don't see other people. Clearly, we have to

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slow it down.

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I give examples in the Book of Two Men Who

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an example of two men who were arguing about their

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different political news before groups started, and the only way

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they came to any kind of reasonable position together was

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to slow down. You're yelling, Why are you yelling? Why

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are you raising your voice? Because the louder voice doesn't

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mean you're right back up, back up, back up, back up.

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What happened at the end.

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Of two or three discussions with the two of them

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is they realized.

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They went that far apart.

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One man who owns his own business and he was

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very concerned about the economy and he thinks the Democrats

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give it way too much money. The other man is

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thought that the power administration has no ethic and no

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civility and no integrity. And they both are people of

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integrity and civility and reason.

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But they had to see each.

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Other's points of view, and ironically, in the end they

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realized neither one of them like the leaders that we

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have right now, but they have different political positions. Okay,

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like we said, I said, and were talking before. That's

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always been the nature of our country. So pausing is

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is incredibly important because if you don't pause.

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And you don't slow down, empathy goes out the window.

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Empathy if the environment is too hort or too cold,

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it's not there, which means we cannot understand each other.

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We're talking at each other, and we see a lot

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of that in this US and them environment right now.

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We're talking at each other. We're not really listening.

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You know, one of the things that I'm grateful for,

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and I think I'm going to say i'm proud of,

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is for my own growth journey.

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And you and I have talked a lot over the

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years ago out the various.

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Things that I've gone through and how I am growing

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and what I've come from is I have gotten so

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much faster at being able to more quickly connect with

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people and where they are. I'm oftentimes I'm the first

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person to come to tear up when somebody shares something.

401
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There's a crowd of us, and I'm connected to and

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listening to what they're having to say, and it has

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an effect on me because I'm listening and I'm present

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to it, I'm taking it in and I'm really grateful

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for that growth because I don't know that I would

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have experienced it that same way.

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Ten years ago, fifteen years ago. Well, you're a thoughtful listener,

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which is why I.

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Told you the first time the first time I was

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on your show, like I was as sounded, you actually

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read the book.

412
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Normally, I get this thing, give me ten things to

413
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ask you and give me ten.

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Answers, and then you know that the host has not

415
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read anything it's just a very superficial.

416
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Conversation, but with you, it's an in depth conversation.

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Because you have a passion for making people better, for

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making the world better, and you know that unless you listen,

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you cannot learn that's true.

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Thank you for seeing that in me. I do.

421
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That's exactly how I really think and feel about it.

422
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So one of the other things that I really found

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valuable about your when I haven't done a lot of

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work on shadows, but you talk about shadows and light

425
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and facing the shadow.

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Yes.

427
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And one of the things that I thought was really

428
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really interesting about your what you say in there is

429
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you were talking about how you well dreams carry shadow material.

430
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You said that you believed that they were the psyche's

431
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way of balancing consciousness. They show you what you're ignoring

432
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and waking life. I track my dreams. I'm a person

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who I remember whatever I possibly can't upon waking, and

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the first thing I do want having my first coffee

435
00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:04.839
or tea is I captured them in my journal. A

436
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:09.920
little bit more about shadows and dreams well shadows.

437
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What Young was trying to say is that there are

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things that all of us want to deny about ourselves.

439
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So we push them away.

440
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And it's very important this concept because in our current culture,

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I do believe that what we do is when we're

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not aware of them, we project them onto other people

443
00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:28.960
with hatred that we see of one side toward the other,

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and people stealing hatred every day on Instagram and Facebook.

445
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Is it really about politics?

446
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What I try to teach people is no, It's about personality.

447
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It's about denying what's in them and seeing in other people.

448
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Is the complicated concept in psychology called projective identification.

449
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It means unconsciously, I see in you what I'm denying

450
00:22:50.240 --> 00:22:51.920
in me, but I don't even know I'm doing it,

451
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so I hate you for it, you know, And then

452
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you see a lot of that so shadows. How do

453
00:22:57.480 --> 00:23:01.000
you know if you are struggling with the shadow something

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00:23:01.160 --> 00:23:04.559
about you that you've not come to integrate into your personality?

455
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Overreaction? For instance, I had I had a woman.

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That I mentioned in the group in the book, who

457
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was in one of my groups when she came in

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and she was furious about a staff meeting, and one

459
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of the guys asked, her, what are you so upset about? Well,

460
00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:20.920
I went into the staff mean she was a nurse practitioner,

461
00:23:21.400 --> 00:23:24.440
and she's not a pediatric nurse practitioner, but she saw

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her an eleven year old in the clinic and one

463
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of her colleagues just sort of innocuously said her, Oh.

464
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I didn't realize that you had to have expertise.

465
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Now, my client couldn't sleep, she had insomnia, she was angry,

466
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she wanted to fight with her. And I said, what

467
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do you think she thought of you saying that she was? Well,

468
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I think she thinks I'm stupid, I said, will you

469
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:45.400
ever call stupid.

470
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:47.319
In your life? Of course, my dad called me stupid

471
00:23:47.319 --> 00:23:49.480
all the time. It was the principal law our grammar school.

472
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He came running one day and embarrassed, embarrass me and

473
00:23:53.599 --> 00:23:54.400
was angry.

474
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:56.200
With my teacher because I was such a slow reader.

475
00:23:57.799 --> 00:23:59.759
I had nothing to do with this guy. You know,

476
00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:03.160
it's not a compliment. But would you lose sleepover for

477
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.599
a week and want to fight someone right to get

478
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:08.640
into a battle over it? No, it's there, unresolved suffer

479
00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:12.039
their dad. So that's what shadow is. And we know,

480
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:16.680
you know, the body recognizes certain shadows before the mind does.

481
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:19.720
So sometimes we get a cue, We meet somebody we

482
00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:21.799
don't even know them. When we start to feel uneasy,

483
00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:23.400
we don't want we want to kind of walk away.

484
00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:28.480
We feel unpleasant because they're simulating something in us that

485
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:31.960
we have not addressed. The more we address, the more

486
00:24:32.039 --> 00:24:35.440
clarity we have, and the more we have access to

487
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:38.279
that soul fire within us. But if we're living with

488
00:24:38.440 --> 00:24:42.559
all of these emotional internal conflicts, we can't get to

489
00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:44.359
the essence of who we are.

490
00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:50.759
It deprives us of that soul fire in the distorted reality.

491
00:24:53.400 --> 00:24:54.880
I thought, also, thank you for that.

492
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:59.200
That was very illuminating when it comes to shadows, very illuminating.

493
00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:03.160
I really appreciated you have, Like I said, listeners and viewers,

494
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.400
he has so many different exercises and ways you can

495
00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:06.640
immediately start working with.

496
00:25:06.519 --> 00:25:08.000
This stuff in his book.

497
00:25:08.440 --> 00:25:12.039
And the shadow exercise that you offer in the book

498
00:25:12.119 --> 00:25:14.839
about listening to qualities that you hide, judge or try

499
00:25:14.839 --> 00:25:18.559
to eliminate the ones you feel dangerous to admit, and

500
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.920
then for each one, ask yourself what might be hidden there.

501
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:26.440
I thought that was really really powerful, really powerful. Can

502
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:28.079
you see a little bit more about how that exercise

503
00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:29.559
works and why it works.

504
00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:34.480
I think, first of all, it's important to ask those questions,

505
00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:39.119
but it's difficult because we're all too subjective and we

506
00:25:39.799 --> 00:25:42.480
sometimes are in such denial that we really don't see.

507
00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:44.680
Sometimes we have to ask someone.

508
00:25:44.359 --> 00:25:48.359
Close to us. We can ask ourselves, we'll come up

509
00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:50.839
with much. Ask somebody close to you when you think

510
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:53.200
that I don't recognize about myself that I might have

511
00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:56.079
trouble with, you are definitely going to get an answer.

512
00:25:56.079 --> 00:25:58.640
If you have good friends, there's a question about.

513
00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:01.799
That old age or a good friend tells you what

514
00:26:01.880 --> 00:26:03.559
you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

515
00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:06.480
Right, a friend love don't just play game. You don't

516
00:26:06.519 --> 00:26:07.039
just tell me.

517
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:09.839
Something you think I want to hear and compliment me.

518
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:12.680
But what do you think I don't really recognize? Well,

519
00:26:13.079 --> 00:26:14.039
you start getting answer.

520
00:26:14.039 --> 00:26:17.920
Psych you're pretty temperamental, you're too competitive, you are kind

521
00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:18.480
of greedy.

522
00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:23.240
You start to hear the things we don't like. Hear them.

523
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:25.519
We can't digest some and work with them.

524
00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:29.359
Everything is that is denied limits our joy in life.

525
00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:33.039
There's a correlation with the more we collect, the more

526
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:35.799
that's in that shadow area, the more we don't deal

527
00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:39.880
with the more we do, so we can't have happiness

528
00:26:39.960 --> 00:26:43.799
in the full way. So there's a correlation between joy

529
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:48.039
and suppression, and once you recognize that you don't want

530
00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:49.559
that because you want to have joy.

531
00:26:53.039 --> 00:26:54.480
I let's talk about that for just a second.

532
00:26:54.480 --> 00:26:56.400
Author, I completely agree with you, because you know, the

533
00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:58.559
work that I do around us show that's the life

534
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:01.359
force of an organization to perform, and it's just that's

535
00:27:01.400 --> 00:27:05.000
why the engine that I've helped the organization stoke. I

536
00:27:05.400 --> 00:27:09.720
wonder how many people feel like they've lost the whole

537
00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:10.839
connection to joy?

538
00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:13.599
What is joy anymore? Do they think it's real?

539
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:18.279
I think we're at a time where the depression rates

540
00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:23.039
are very high, anxiety is high, addition is high, and

541
00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:25.119
prejudice in particular has been the.

542
00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:27.839
Highest it's been in the last thirty years.

543
00:27:28.519 --> 00:27:34.319
Anti Semitism, Islamophobia, sexism, agism. I mean, it's all there

544
00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:37.119
because we are in an environment of hatred.

545
00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:40.240
And then you start to think that, well, everybody's like that.

546
00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:42.839
No, no, long, Eve, don't ever say everybody, because it's

547
00:27:42.839 --> 00:27:45.559
not true. I was meeting with a client from another

548
00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:48.000
country the other day. She goes, I've never come to America.

549
00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:51.480
You're all I can't believe you elected this guy twice

550
00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:53.240
and you're all so angry in it.

551
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.039
I said, whoa we do mean, we're all, we're all

552
00:27:56.079 --> 00:27:59.680
you're talking to me, we need we're all.

553
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:02.400
You know, that's like saying the leader of one country

554
00:28:02.519 --> 00:28:06.599
is the country right where generalizations.

555
00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:07.039
Coming right right?

556
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:12.519
And when you generalize you make mistakes often. So we

557
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:20.559
have to slow down and see what is the truth. Yes, indeed,

558
00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:23.519
which people are struggling with right now, because every day

559
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:27.160
you turn on the news you hear more. Look two

560
00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:29.240
three weeks ago, people were saying, oh my god, what's

561
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:30.000
going to happen next?

562
00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:30.920
What's going to happen next?

563
00:28:30.920 --> 00:28:34.519
And now we're in the war, and what is that

564
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:37.200
is that making vulnerable people feel like things are going

565
00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:37.880
to turn around?

566
00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:38.559
No, it's not.

567
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:43.440
Because people are being killed and we don't know why

568
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:45.000
and have clear.

569
00:28:44.839 --> 00:28:48.079
Reasons as to why. And so now, okay, what's the

570
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:48.559
next thing?

571
00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:52.279
A woman says yesterday in therapy, she said, but now

572
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:53.640
I'm having nuclear dreams.

573
00:28:54.119 --> 00:28:56.319
And I said, what do you think that's about? You? Well,

574
00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:59.200
that's the next thing, isn't it. You know, it's this

575
00:28:59.359 --> 00:28:59.839
and that and.

576
00:29:01.359 --> 00:29:05.160
Vengeance against anybody who opposes what you say. And now

577
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:06.880
we're in a war, and what's the next thing.

578
00:29:09.559 --> 00:29:12.400
Yeah, it's easy to imagine how that can esculate for people.

579
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:17.640
I can completely see that. So speaking of that and this,

580
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:20.440
you do this so beautifully. We'll have a whole chapter

581
00:29:20.519 --> 00:29:23.359
on the language of the heart, and then you offer many,

582
00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:26.960
many different practices of heart listening. Can we have a

583
00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:29.480
couple of examples.

584
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:31.839
I think heart.

585
00:29:31.640 --> 00:29:35.839
Listening has to do with the body because the heart

586
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:36.880
gives cues.

587
00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:40.759
Our physiology gives cues.

588
00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:45.640
But when we're moving rapidly, our mind denies them. So

589
00:29:45.839 --> 00:29:49.200
but when we slow down and we try to figure out,

590
00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:52.119
what is that age in the back of our neck?

591
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:55.160
Or why am I getting headaches every day? Why all

592
00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:57.839
of a sudden do I have somemach indigestion when I've

593
00:29:57.839 --> 00:30:00.640
never had it before in my life? What's going on?

594
00:30:00.920 --> 00:30:03.079
The body is trying to tell us something.

595
00:30:03.400 --> 00:30:07.160
The body is saying, wait a minute, slow down, find

596
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:11.079
out what's troubling you, rather than denying it and seeding ahead.

597
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:15.920
That's where pausing comes in. That's where renewal comes in,

598
00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:18.119
because when we slow down, and you have to have

599
00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:21.640
courage to do this, because if you pay attention to

600
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:25.480
the body, you're going to notice some conflict either within

601
00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:27.759
your cell phone, between you and someone else.

602
00:30:28.759 --> 00:30:32.160
And look human beings are operating.

603
00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:35.400
We operate on We don't want conflict.

604
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:37.759
We want to just everything is easy.

605
00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:40.480
But that isn't life, and that isn't human beings, and

606
00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:42.720
that isn't how we grow or get more intimate with

607
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:43.400
other people.

608
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:46.319
When we resolve conflict, we get closer to people.

609
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:50.799
Right now, we're in an area where people are categorizing

610
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:51.400
each other.

611
00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:55.839
By political party and that's that, and not really knowing

612
00:30:55.880 --> 00:30:56.880
what's behind that.

613
00:30:58.119 --> 00:30:59.920
Like the example I gave of the two men in

614
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:03.319
my therapy sessions, they have more in common than not,

615
00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:09.440
but because they characterize each other so quickly, they lost.

616
00:31:09.319 --> 00:31:16.640
Track of that. They didn't even uncover it. I someone

617
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:17.200
told me.

618
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:24.400
That when two people are together and they care about

619
00:31:24.440 --> 00:31:26.880
each other and they are near enough proximity that their

620
00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:28.640
heart's actually be at the same rim.

621
00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:29.359
Is that true?

622
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:36.200
Yes, it's it's empathic secretocy.

623
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:41.079
Okay, well that's.

624
00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:42.960
A much better place for us to LEA are listeners

625
00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:45.119
with on this next break and where we left them last,

626
00:31:45.119 --> 00:31:47.680
which was with the shadows, Let's talk about.

627
00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:48.759
What did you call it?

628
00:31:48.759 --> 00:31:54.359
What synchronicity and pathic empathic synchronicity. Let's just think about

629
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:57.240
that on this next break. I'm your host, doctor Earliest Cortes.

630
00:31:57.559 --> 00:32:00.519
We've got another doctor. Archis here mccollay, who a licensed

631
00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:03.480
clinical psychologist who has been treating patients for more than

632
00:32:03.559 --> 00:32:07.279
forty five years. Sitting with MSA navigate some of their

633
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:09.920
darkest days and reaching for their highest states of growth.

634
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:11.039
Will be right back.

635
00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.960
Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

636
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:34.839
and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps companies

637
00:32:34.920 --> 00:32:38.720
visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose inspired

638
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:42.759
leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance, and

639
00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:46.079
commitment within the workforce. To learn more, or to invite

640
00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:48.839
at least to speak to your organization, please visit her

641
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:52.119
at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get

642
00:32:52.160 --> 00:33:01.160
your employees working on purpose. Is Working on Purpose with

643
00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:04.440
doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or to

644
00:33:04.519 --> 00:33:07.559
open a conversation with Elise, send an email to Elise

645
00:33:07.880 --> 00:33:13.960
alisee at elisecortes dot com. Now back to Working on Purpose.

646
00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:20.640
Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to Working

647
00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:23.319
on Purpose. I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortes. As you

648
00:33:23.359 --> 00:33:25.640
know by now, this program is dedicated to empowering and

649
00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:28.400
inspiring you along your journey to realize more of your potential.

650
00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:31.119
I mentioned that my last book came out recently, The

651
00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:34.519
Great Revitalization. It has twenty two best practices to help

652
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:37.000
you elevate the culture of your organization for today's to

653
00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:40.400
start your workforce, you can download a free three page

654
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:44.279
assessment to learn just how you're doing as a destination workplace.

655
00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.839
Make your way to gustoshnow dot com and you can

656
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:50.039
grab it from the home tab or of many other

657
00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:51.960
places on the site where you can download it from

658
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:54.039
if you are just now joining us. My guest is

659
00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:57.039
doctor Arthur Cere mccoley. He's the author of Soul Fire,

660
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:02.720
Igniting Inner Strength and are Fractured World, So as people

661
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:06.599
are scrappling with how to live and get by and

662
00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:11.079
ideally even thrive in today's fractured world, I appreciate it.

663
00:34:11.159 --> 00:34:12.360
Also your whole.

664
00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:17.079
Chapter on anchors in the current so ways to help

665
00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:24.000
people better situate themselves, plant themselves if they will. And

666
00:34:24.840 --> 00:34:27.280
there's two things that you that I would love to

667
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:29.800
have you expound on. One is the values Map and

668
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:33.280
the other one is the Boundary Script. First, they're talking

669
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:36.119
about the need for anchors in the current give us

670
00:34:36.119 --> 00:34:38.079
some more context for the people that don't know what

671
00:34:38.079 --> 00:34:39.119
we're talking about there.

672
00:34:39.960 --> 00:34:42.679
Well, I think in terms of values, it's knowing what

673
00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:47.199
you believe in and what's unshapable within it, and that's

674
00:34:47.239 --> 00:34:52.079
where entigrity comes in. And in terms of boundaries, when

675
00:34:52.119 --> 00:34:56.880
you make your boundaries vague, you don't engender respects. When

676
00:34:56.920 --> 00:35:00.920
you're making firm and clear. If someone says something inappropriate

677
00:35:00.920 --> 00:35:03.360
to you and you let them know that that's not okay,

678
00:35:03.800 --> 00:35:07.679
you gain more respect. So values are knowing who am

679
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:09.880
I and what do I believe in and what can

680
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:14.079
I not give up just for the sake of pleasing

681
00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:18.360
someone else. And boundaries are how do I respect myself?

682
00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:22.199
I don't let people know that's not okay. You can't

683
00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:25.519
in a certain way. You know, you talk about sexism

684
00:35:25.559 --> 00:35:28.880
in the in the corporate world where you know women

685
00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:31.960
might get touched in appropriately, and it's you know, instead

686
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:35.000
of being demure, you turn around and say, hey, do

687
00:35:35.159 --> 00:35:35.760
not do that.

688
00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:39.559
Do not do that. Okay. You're not slandering a person.

689
00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:41.880
You're not calling them our name, but just you're maintaining

690
00:35:41.880 --> 00:35:45.920
a boundary that that's off limitos with me okay, that

691
00:35:46.519 --> 00:35:50.400
gain resilience, self respect, and it's an example of your

692
00:35:50.440 --> 00:35:51.559
soul fire inaction.

693
00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:54.880
We tolerate injustice.

694
00:35:55.639 --> 00:35:58.960
That's not neutrality, it's complicity.

695
00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:02.840
We have to express our soul fire. That's where the

696
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:05.440
passion in us comes in.

697
00:36:04.840 --> 00:36:08.440
Our values, our boundaries, and I want you to respect me,

698
00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:10.000
and that behavior is not okay.

699
00:36:12.760 --> 00:36:15.760
Now, this is where it gets tender and interesting. Here.

700
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:18.960
I can envision some listeners and viewers going, yeah, I

701
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:22.800
really value whatever the right to carry arms, whatever it is,

702
00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:26.159
and I really value that. And so we're just going

703
00:36:26.199 --> 00:36:28.679
back to the Jeffersonian dinner conversation that we were having

704
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:32.440
before about looking and looking at different views. Can you

705
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:35.199
share a bit about how you help your patients navigate

706
00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:39.920
when they're hanging on to some very deeply held beliefs,

707
00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:46.320
can also values that you can see sometimes either they're

708
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:48.559
doing it in a way that is not actually honoring

709
00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:51.960
other people's values or other people's space. So there's that,

710
00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:53.480
you know, what I'm trying to get to is that

711
00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:57.599
we can have really strongly held values, but sometimes maybe

712
00:36:57.639 --> 00:37:01.199
they have been informed in a way that at limits

713
00:37:01.800 --> 00:37:04.480
our overall growth or our ability to be able to

714
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:05.800
be united with other people.

715
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:10.000
Yes. In the book, one of the examples I give

716
00:37:10.119 --> 00:37:12.039
is efficient. I call her read.

717
00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:16.440
And she was working in the corporate world and from

718
00:37:16.480 --> 00:37:20.119
another country. She came here to Boston to take a

719
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:24.559
job and it was supposedly the dream job of a lifetime,

720
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.760
and she was interviewed by a woman who she had

721
00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:31.360
heard about before and who guaranteed her that she wouldn't

722
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:32.320
be working weekends.

723
00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:35.679
This was a company that valued health and balance.

724
00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:39.239
When she came, that woman had already left, and she

725
00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:41.360
was working for a man who was the opposite.

726
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:44.639
He was very much a bully and dominating people.

727
00:37:45.199 --> 00:37:47.639
She realized right away that the people in the department

728
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:50.280
didn't like him and didn't even know how we got

729
00:37:50.280 --> 00:37:51.239
to be in this position.

730
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:54.000
Long story short. We talked about her values.

731
00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:57.079
At one point, she has said, in my family, we

732
00:37:57.199 --> 00:38:00.280
grew up with knowing that the truth is so so

733
00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:03.760
important and you can never let the truth be violated

734
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:07.800
or your truth be violated. And I said, well, the

735
00:38:07.880 --> 00:38:10.719
truth you were told was you don't work weekends, you

736
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:14.760
don't have to travel consistently, and that's not what's happening.

737
00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:17.480
She was, I know, And I said, do you think

738
00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:20.239
that's any has anything to do with your insomnia at

739
00:38:20.320 --> 00:38:24.760
I said, you're not valuing the truth, this value that

740
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:28.880
you have, You're allowing it to dissipate right in front

741
00:38:28.920 --> 00:38:31.840
of you. So in weeks in group therapy to get

742
00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:35.000
her too with trepidation and with the help of some

743
00:38:35.079 --> 00:38:37.280
other women in group Evan who had been bullied in

744
00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:41.400
the Corvid world, to address this man and said, it's

745
00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:44.360
either we go back to the initial contract.

746
00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:45.000
Or I'm not here.

747
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:49.000
And she was worried and she was fretting, and she said,

748
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.239
you know, I was perspiring, And people in groups said,

749
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:53.880
it doesn't matter if you were inspiring or not.

750
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:57.400
You did what was true. You have a value the truth.

751
00:38:58.440 --> 00:39:01.400
He lied to you. They lied to you. That's not

752
00:39:01.480 --> 00:39:01.840
the truth.

753
00:39:01.880 --> 00:39:04.079
So you're going to exist in an environment where your

754
00:39:04.119 --> 00:39:08.000
core value is not seen as significant at all? How

755
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.239
can you do that and feel healthy? And she was

756
00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:14.559
ignoring those cues in her body.

757
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:19.239
She ended up with back aches and migraines and other things.

758
00:39:19.280 --> 00:39:21.719
The body tells the truth, as we had discussed earlier.

759
00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:27.079
But eventually she was able to gain her voice and speak.

760
00:39:28.360 --> 00:39:30.719
And you have to do for your soul fire to

761
00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:32.280
be alive, you have to take action.

762
00:39:32.400 --> 00:39:36.039
You have to put it into action or else it's

763
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:41.360
just hoarding. You're keeping your best self to yourself and

764
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:43.880
saying yes to everything is saying no to yourself.

765
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:45.880
That's what she was doing.

766
00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:49.840
Okay, work weekend, it's fine. No, it's not fine. That's

767
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:52.679
why you're not sleeping. He said, you didn't have to

768
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:53.679
work weakends.

769
00:39:56.119 --> 00:39:56.480
Thank you.

770
00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:59.400
That was I can't just I know that you've over

771
00:39:59.440 --> 00:40:01.599
the years, ag you've written so many books, as you've

772
00:40:01.599 --> 00:40:03.920
shared so many things that you learned from your patients

773
00:40:03.920 --> 00:40:06.599
and watch them triumph and such, and I just it's

774
00:40:06.599 --> 00:40:11.960
such a such an important and beautiful work that you do.

775
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:12.639
Doctors, doctor seeds.

776
00:40:13.400 --> 00:40:15.880
Yeah, Well, a couple more things I want to be

777
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:19.000
sure and talk about before we finished the segment here.

778
00:40:19.239 --> 00:40:22.000
First I want to go to the idea of tending

779
00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:22.599
the flame.

780
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:26.440
And I thought that this idea that you talked about

781
00:40:26.559 --> 00:40:30.320
is one part of that is to assess the environmental

782
00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:32.760
mismatches you might have. And you just describe one with

783
00:40:32.760 --> 00:40:36.440
Frida in terms of her work and her workload. Can

784
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:37.920
you talk a little bit about so it's as we're

785
00:40:37.960 --> 00:40:41.840
talking about tending our flame, our soul fire, these what

786
00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:44.840
might be some environmental mismatches that listeners and viewers could

787
00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:46.719
notice and start to recognize.

788
00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:50.440
Well, what if you live in a community that you

789
00:40:50.559 --> 00:40:56.239
know is promoting prejudice. It's very possible certain parts of

790
00:40:56.239 --> 00:40:59.320
our country, we know that that exists. What you do

791
00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:02.599
you say there? Do you stay in that neighborhood? Do

792
00:41:02.639 --> 00:41:07.239
you stay in that organization? What if you're a single

793
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:09.519
mom with three young kids and you need you need

794
00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:14.480
that check. So it really cuts to the heart of

795
00:41:14.559 --> 00:41:18.840
our dilemma of how do I respect my own values

796
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:22.599
and boundaries and yet I need, I need to live,

797
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:25.199
I need I need money, I need to support my

798
00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:30.280
children or whoever. So it can get confusing, but that's

799
00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:32.599
where we need other people. I think that's why group

800
00:41:33.079 --> 00:41:35.360
groups of people doesn't have to be group therapy. But

801
00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:39.800
when people come together as a group, ideas flow and

802
00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:41.880
people start to discover that you know, a lot of

803
00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:42.360
us are.

804
00:41:42.280 --> 00:41:43.039
In this situation.

805
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:46.880
Look over, eighty five percent of people in the corporate

806
00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:50.320
world and five years ago a study was done and

807
00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:52.679
eighty five percent of people who were bullied ever said a.

808
00:41:52.639 --> 00:41:57.440
Word wow, stayed in those environments. So what does that do?

809
00:41:58.760 --> 00:42:00.840
But it's not an easy to say, and I think

810
00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:03.719
you need the empathy of other people to realize this

811
00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:05.400
is very difficult, this is hard.

812
00:42:06.679 --> 00:42:08.599
But maybe there is another all alternative.

813
00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:11.039
Maybe Mary, who you just talk to, she says, well,

814
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:14.480
my company's hiring, or maybe Frank says, I'm looking for

815
00:42:14.519 --> 00:42:19.000
our secretary or I'm looking for a project manager. When

816
00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:21.719
you come into a group of people and you see

817
00:42:21.719 --> 00:42:23.880
a lot of this in AA, of course, because people

818
00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:27.119
help each other not only find jobs, but remain sober,

819
00:42:27.239 --> 00:42:29.360
remain healthy, and it's free.

820
00:42:29.679 --> 00:42:32.480
People come together. One of the groups that I work

821
00:42:32.519 --> 00:42:35.079
with here in the Boston area is.

822
00:42:35.039 --> 00:42:38.840
An interfaith group where people come together of different religions

823
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:41.840
and atheias as well, and they help each other learn

824
00:42:41.880 --> 00:42:45.119
from each other. But when they're in these dilemmas, they

825
00:42:45.159 --> 00:42:49.079
get ideas from each other. When we adjust with ourselves

826
00:42:49.119 --> 00:42:50.920
and we start to get depressed and we start to

827
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:54.440
get low, we sync within ourselves, we lose our soul fire,

828
00:42:55.199 --> 00:42:57.159
and we need to be around other people who will

829
00:42:57.199 --> 00:43:00.400
help that ember come to life.

830
00:43:01.239 --> 00:43:06.480
So true, so so so true. Okay, So then now

831
00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:08.760
we can build on what you just said there and

832
00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:12.679
you have a whole discussion on the fire that heals

833
00:43:13.519 --> 00:43:17.039
and you know, this really speaks to me. This makes

834
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:19.400
our various conversations and the book that you and I

835
00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:22.800
co wrote together, The Power of Selfial Healing, this idea

836
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:27.920
of transforming pain into wisdom is so compelling, and I

837
00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:30.239
think for so many people, I think when they hear

838
00:43:30.280 --> 00:43:33.920
that phrase, it's got to give them hope that I

839
00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:36.480
can do something with this pain. It's not just because

840
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.440
at once you know it's there to destroy me. I

841
00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:41.679
can actually transform it into wisdom.

842
00:43:42.199 --> 00:43:45.159
I think wisdom. Someone asked me the other day, what's

843
00:43:45.159 --> 00:43:49.320
the most important thing capacity to think that as people

844
00:43:49.400 --> 00:43:52.719
age that they need to acquire to be fulfilled, And

845
00:43:52.760 --> 00:43:55.039
I said wisdom, because I think.

846
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:59.960
What happens when we suffer we learn. Right. You may

847
00:43:59.800 --> 00:44:00.639
be in a.

848
00:44:00.599 --> 00:44:03.840
Poor marriage and you learned something about that spouse and

849
00:44:03.840 --> 00:44:06.079
the qualities of that person that you missed that you

850
00:44:06.119 --> 00:44:09.000
didn't see initially, and now you know you're not going

851
00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:09.880
to go there yet.

852
00:44:10.039 --> 00:44:13.119
You may have worked for somebody who acted inappropriately or

853
00:44:13.159 --> 00:44:16.119
treated you poorly, but you understand why you took the

854
00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:17.280
job and how you made.

855
00:44:17.159 --> 00:44:20.320
The mistake of jumping to it first without really thinking.

856
00:44:20.599 --> 00:44:24.639
Because the corporation has a very known name, so it's

857
00:44:25.199 --> 00:44:29.920
working through the pain that we come out of it

858
00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:33.719
with more insight and wisdom. And you know, Eric Erickson

859
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:34.159
said the.

860
00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:37.840
Last stage in life. If you don't have wisdom, what

861
00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:38.280
do you have?

862
00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:43.519
Because wisdom says I can see people now, I can

863
00:44:43.559 --> 00:44:46.199
know people in ways that I never did before. And

864
00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:49.079
in the mindfield of relationships, I know who to get

865
00:44:49.079 --> 00:44:51.840
close to and I know who remain distant from. Now

866
00:44:51.880 --> 00:44:54.880
I have a map, but it's my own map. And

867
00:44:54.920 --> 00:44:58.280
how did I acquire it? Because I was hurt, because I.

868
00:44:58.280 --> 00:45:05.280
Suffered, Because yeah, yeah, so true.

869
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:09.159
Well have you talk about the importance and the opportunity

870
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:13.039
and the invitation to become delight and then you also

871
00:45:13.079 --> 00:45:16.400
talk about the obligation of radiance and the completion that

872
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:18.760
begins from that, which.

873
00:45:18.519 --> 00:45:20.079
Is where I think I want to have us finished,

874
00:45:20.079 --> 00:45:21.079
to finish the show.

875
00:45:21.079 --> 00:45:23.199
If you could just speak to that, because actually that

876
00:45:23.239 --> 00:45:25.840
offers hope and it invites people into this fold.

877
00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:29.920
I think we need to radiate our life.

878
00:45:30.039 --> 00:45:33.480
We need to help other people whose embers are not glowing,

879
00:45:34.679 --> 00:45:38.119
and when you step into their world, you turn the

880
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:40.840
flickers into a flame and it becomes more of a

881
00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:42.880
movement and your soul.

882
00:45:42.760 --> 00:45:45.519
Far is enough, will always be enough. But you need

883
00:45:45.559 --> 00:45:48.280
to do something with it, and you need to protect it.

884
00:45:48.639 --> 00:45:52.639
You need to practice those renewable practices that we talked about.

885
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:55.400
So that it doesn't dim. But you need to give

886
00:45:55.440 --> 00:45:55.760
it away.

887
00:45:56.159 --> 00:45:58.400
You need to give it to other people, because when

888
00:45:58.440 --> 00:46:01.039
you illuminate other people, you will the world and they

889
00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:04.440
will never forget you because you're there's nothing there's no

890
00:46:04.519 --> 00:46:07.559
better feeling than teasing off the potential and someone who

891
00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:08.920
doesn't think it's there.

892
00:46:13.639 --> 00:46:16.039
Here are such a gift to the world. Doctor Arthur CERR.

893
00:46:16.119 --> 00:46:18.559
Mccauley'm so grateful to call you my friend, to call

894
00:46:18.599 --> 00:46:21.280
you my co author, and to share you with my

895
00:46:21.440 --> 00:46:23.000
listeners and viewers around the globe.

896
00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:25.519
Thank you for coming back onto Working on Purpose. Oh,

897
00:46:25.559 --> 00:46:28.760
you're welcome. Thank you very much for having me always

898
00:46:28.920 --> 00:46:29.519
to talk with you.

899
00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:32.760
Indeed, indeed, listeners and viewers, you are going to want

900
00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:35.519
to learn more about this incredible man, doctor Arthur SERA McCauley,

901
00:46:35.599 --> 00:46:38.039
the work that he does as a clinical psychologist, and

902
00:46:38.159 --> 00:46:41.559
his numerous books. One way to do that is to

903
00:46:41.639 --> 00:46:45.480
start by visiting the empathysolution dot com. That's one of

904
00:46:45.480 --> 00:46:49.639
his sites, Theempathy soolution dot com. Last week, if you

905
00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:51.119
missed a live show you can always catch it be

906
00:46:51.159 --> 00:46:54.320
a recorded podcast. We were on air with Futurists for

907
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:58.199
Sean Tobaka Walla talking about his book Rethinking Work, Seismic

908
00:46:58.280 --> 00:47:01.320
Changes in the War When and Why. He shared how

909
00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:04.840
leaders can stay ahead by rethinking work and embracing transformation,

910
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:08.239
from evolving organizational models to the new why behind work.

911
00:47:08.440 --> 00:47:10.760
He talked about what it takes to lead and thrive

912
00:47:10.840 --> 00:47:14.159
with a workplace and business up tomorrow. Next week will

913
00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:17.320
be on the air with c Brown, author of AI Ultimatum,

914
00:47:17.440 --> 00:47:21.320
Preparing for a world of intelligent machines and radical transformation.

915
00:47:21.960 --> 00:47:24.440
This conversation, we'll build on this episode and take us

916
00:47:24.480 --> 00:47:28.239
into the macro aspects of how technological advancements are changing

917
00:47:28.280 --> 00:47:30.760
everything about the way we live. See you, then, let's

918
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:33.599
continue leading into discovering how to elevate your operating system

919
00:47:33.639 --> 00:47:36.760
as a leader and create destination workplaces where the legendary

920
00:47:36.760 --> 00:47:37.719
business takes place.

921
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:39.119
Let's work on Purpose.

922
00:47:42.199 --> 00:47:44.840
We hope you've enjoyed this week's program. Be sure to

923
00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:48.519
tune into Working on Purpose featuring your host, doctor Elise Cortes,

924
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:51.880
each week on W four C Why. Together, We'll create

925
00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:56.039
a world where business operates conscientiously. Leadership inspires and passion.

926
00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:59.119
Performance and employees are fulfilled in work that provides the

927
00:47:59.199 --> 00:48:02.480
meaning and purpose they crave. See you there. Let's work

928
00:48:02.639 --> 00:48:03.280
on purpose

929
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:08.280
M HM.