Aug. 5, 2025

Mattering: The Signs, Sources and Significance of Feeling Valued and Adding Value for Well-Being

Show Notes
Transcript

Mattering—feeling valued and knowing one adds value—is essential to mental health, wellbeing, and flourishing. How does one recognize mattering in oneself and others? Why does it seem so elusive in personal and professional life? What can individuals do to elicit it, how can leaders celebrate it, and how do we collectively embrace it to champion the world we can all thrive in? Guest: Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky

Working on Purpose is broadcast live Tuesdays at 6PM ET and Music on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Working on Purpose is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Working on Purpose Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/working-on-purpose--2643411/support.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:02.640
The topics and opinions express in the following show are

2
00:00:02.680 --> 00:00:04.320
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

3
00:00:04.360 --> 00:00:07.240
those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

4
00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:10.400
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

5
00:00:10.439 --> 00:00:12.759
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

6
00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:15.759
liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY

7
00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:18.559
Radio or its employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments

8
00:00:18.600 --> 00:00:20.800
should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for

9
00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:22.800
choosing W FOURCY Radio.

10
00:00:28.519 --> 00:00:31.920
What's working on Purpose? Anyway? Each week we ponder the

11
00:00:31.960 --> 00:00:35.119
answer to this question. People ache for meaning and purpose

12
00:00:35.159 --> 00:00:38.520
at work, to contribute their talents passionately and know their

13
00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:41.920
lives really matter. They crave being part of an organization

14
00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:44.719
that inspires them and helps them grow into realizing their

15
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:47.799
highest potential. Business can be such a force for good

16
00:00:47.880 --> 00:00:51.479
in the world, elevating humanity. In our program, we provide

17
00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:54.560
guidance and inspiration to help usher in this world we

18
00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:58.920
all want Working on Purpose. Now here's your host, Doctor

19
00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:00.679
Relise Quartet.

20
00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:06.959
Welcome back to the Working on Purpose program, which has

21
00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.959
been brought to you with passion and prize since February

22
00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:11.599
of twenty fifteen. Thanks tuning in this week. Great to

23
00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:14.359
have you. I'm your host, doctor Elis Cortes. If we

24
00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:16.480
have not met and you don't know me, I am

25
00:01:16.519 --> 00:01:21.519
a workforce advisor, organizational psychologists, management consultant, loco therapists, speaker

26
00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:23.879
and author. My team and I at gusterer Now help

27
00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:27.319
companies to enligen and fortify their operations by building a dynamic,

28
00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:31.879
high performance culture, inspirational leadership and nursery managers activated by

29
00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:35.040
meaning and purpose. Many organizations are not aware of how

30
00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:37.959
critical it is to invest in developing their leaders and managers,

31
00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:40.760
not just for their own effectiveness, but also to avoid

32
00:01:40.760 --> 00:01:44.040
burnout and keeping them fulfilled. Did you know that inspired

33
00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:47.599
employees outperform their satisfied peers by factor of two point

34
00:01:47.599 --> 00:01:50.599
twenty five to one. In other words, inspiration is good

35
00:01:50.640 --> 00:01:52.680
for the bottom line. You can learn more about us

36
00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:55.480
and how we can work together at gustodashnow dot com

37
00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:58.439
or my personal site at least core test dot com.

38
00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:00.840
Getting in today's program and we have with us today.

39
00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:06.439
Doctor Isaac Priltenski, who holds the inaugural Erwin and Barbara

40
00:02:06.879 --> 00:02:10.319
Mottner Chair in Community well Being at the University of Miami.

41
00:02:10.599 --> 00:02:12.719
He has published twelve books in over one hundred and

42
00:02:12.759 --> 00:02:15.960
forty articles in chapters. His interests are in the promotion

43
00:02:16.039 --> 00:02:19.120
of well being in individuals, organizations, and communities, and in

44
00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:23.240
the integration of wellness and fairness. He is the co author,

45
00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:26.840
alongside his wife Aura, of the book How People Matter,

46
00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:30.319
Why It affects health, happiness, love, work and society, which

47
00:02:30.319 --> 00:02:32.960
we're talking about today. He Georges to Day from Miami,

48
00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:35.840
Doctor Prilatinski, Welcome to working on Purpose.

49
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.120
Nice to be here. Thank you for the invitation. Claud c.

50
00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:41.919
Bienvinedo.

51
00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:45.599
I love that you know that you're from Argentina. Buenosaris

52
00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:47.120
is one of my favorite cities of the.

53
00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:48.120
Whole entire world.

54
00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:51.240
I don't know how much where which city you hail from,

55
00:02:51.240 --> 00:02:52.560
but that is one of my favorites.

56
00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:57.240
I come from Gordoa, but I acknowledge Buenos Aires is

57
00:02:57.319 --> 00:02:59.319
in Levey City. Corda Bay is better.

58
00:02:59.479 --> 00:03:02.560
But okay, fair enough, I'll just have to go back.

59
00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:06.280
Let's celebrate this beautiful book that you and or put

60
00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:07.080
into the world.

61
00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:08.879
I really it was beautiful.

62
00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:11.080
I learned so much, and I want to also think

63
00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:14.680
our fellow colleague Zach mccurrihew. It was in his book

64
00:03:15.240 --> 00:03:17.240
that I learned about your work, So I really am

65
00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:18.759
glad to meet you and know you.

66
00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:22.919
Likewise, it's nice to be here and spend some time

67
00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.120
talking with you and talking to your listeners.

68
00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:28.319
Wonderful, they're all over the world.

69
00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:31.479
So we will appreciate inspiring and with your with your

70
00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:35.520
your your good education. So first i'd like to be

71
00:03:35.560 --> 00:03:37.800
able to start by just asking you know how it

72
00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:40.080
was that you decided or what led you into a

73
00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:43.120
career in psychology. I mean, why not architecture, why not accounting?

74
00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:45.719
What's what's it with the psychology stuff?

75
00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:51.599
So, like many other folks go onto a career, it

76
00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:56.680
has a lot to do with your biography. I lost

77
00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:00.759
my parents in a car accident when I was years old,

78
00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:08.599
and that experience led me to believe that I could

79
00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:13.800
share with other people how to become resilient, how to

80
00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:19.000
overcome adversity. So I think from a young age I

81
00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:23.920
decided that I wanted to put my own experience to

82
00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:29.560
good use and try to help other people. So I

83
00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:33.839
decided to study psychology in large part out of my

84
00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:39.680
personal biography, in my history, and out of an interest

85
00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:45.680
in not only helping, but also understanding what makes human

86
00:04:45.839 --> 00:04:50.800
beings tick and do the things they do and pursue happiness,

87
00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:54.519
and how comes some people are happier than others, and

88
00:04:54.639 --> 00:04:58.759
what role the environment place in our own happiness. So

89
00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:04.600
I was driven by both my personal story and by

90
00:05:05.399 --> 00:05:07.439
questions about human nature.

91
00:05:08.920 --> 00:05:11.639
I can very much appreciate that. And of course, then

92
00:05:11.800 --> 00:05:14.759
we each have some very interesting niche areas. Mine has

93
00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:19.480
been meaning in purpose, yours has been mattering, well being, fairness,

94
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:26.399
et cetera. How did you gravitate to those specific areas well?

95
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:29.879
I have had the, I guess, the good fortune of

96
00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:33.240
living in five countries. I grew up in Argentina, and

97
00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:40.319
then I studied in Israel, Canada, I worked in Canada,

98
00:05:40.600 --> 00:05:43.839
in Australia, then we came to the US, and I

99
00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:47.439
have had the opportunity to visit many countries, work with

100
00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:54.360
colleagues around the world, and wherever I went, I felt

101
00:05:54.839 --> 00:06:00.720
I saw that people were driven, but I mattered by

102
00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:09.360
the motivation to feel like they mattered. And we saw

103
00:06:09.759 --> 00:06:15.519
all over the world, in a variety of occupations, across

104
00:06:15.839 --> 00:06:24.519
social groups, religions, the cultures, languages, that people had this income.

105
00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:31.120
We all want to feel valued and we all want

106
00:06:31.480 --> 00:06:39.959
to add value, and that was the motivation to study

107
00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:45.480
mattering and the role of feeling valued and adding value

108
00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:51.160
in life, to feel valued by ourself and others, and

109
00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:56.000
to contribute to add value to our own life but

110
00:06:56.120 --> 00:07:02.560
also to the life of other people. And then we

111
00:07:02.720 --> 00:07:07.759
decided to study how is mattering related to well being

112
00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:13.040
and what are some of the precursors of mattering, what

113
00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:16.160
leads us to feel like we matter. Well, it turns

114
00:07:16.199 --> 00:07:24.000
out that conditions of fairness, when I experience fairness in

115
00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:29.600
my home, at work, in the community, when I feel

116
00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:35.040
treated with dignity, with respect, when I am giving a

117
00:07:35.160 --> 00:07:41.199
chance to develop my potential. When there are conditions of airness,

118
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:46.639
people feel like they matter. Not only that, when people

119
00:07:46.680 --> 00:07:52.240
feel like they matterer, their wellbeing goes up. So we

120
00:07:52.360 --> 00:07:59.079
demonstrated that in studies with individuals and also in international

121
00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:05.959
studies comparing countries. So it turns out that countries where

122
00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:11.879
there are social justice policies that may citizens feel like

123
00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:19.399
they matter, their happiness, quality of life, life sattisfaction, overall

124
00:08:19.480 --> 00:08:23.879
well being goes up. So I'm interested in this triangle.

125
00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:31.279
I call this the golden triangle formed by wellness fairness

126
00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:33.080
and worthiness.

127
00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:36.879
M There's so many words that I could use to

128
00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:41.159
describe that, Isaac, but I'm gonna go with yummy, a

129
00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:46.879
yummy combination. Part of what also intrigued me about your work,

130
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:50.639
you do talk about this idea of human being driven

131
00:08:50.679 --> 00:08:53.399
by some fundamental needs but also some fears. You already

132
00:08:53.440 --> 00:08:56.960
said that we have need to feel value and the

133
00:08:57.080 --> 00:08:59.559
need to add value, And of course we might recognize

134
00:08:59.600 --> 00:09:01.879
that in gentlemen when people say things like I want

135
00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:04.720
to make a difference, I think they're also adding their

136
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:06.759
the idea of adding value. But then you also talk

137
00:09:06.759 --> 00:09:11.039
about two unique, pretty primary fears. If you could address

138
00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:14.000
those for us, Yes, so.

139
00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:30.000
I think two fundamental fears are the fear of being devalued, ignored, excluded, marginalized,

140
00:09:30.320 --> 00:09:33.840
like we don't belong. And there are a lot of

141
00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:39.559
evolutionary reasons why human beings are wired to connect to

142
00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:46.080
be part of a group, initially just to survive. Unless

143
00:09:46.120 --> 00:09:51.000
we're part of a group. In the African savannah, if

144
00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:53.799
you were not part of the group, nobody would protect

145
00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:59.919
you from wild beasts and animals, and nobody would go

146
00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:03.120
operate with you to fij you when you were hungry,

147
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:05.919
or to take care of you when you were sick.

148
00:10:07.159 --> 00:10:10.679
But it's not only for survival reasons. It's also for

149
00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:16.000
thriving reasons, because human beings thrive in the context of

150
00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:21.120
social relationships. So one we're afraid of being the value

151
00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:28.000
ignored longly, and two we're afraid of being helpless. That

152
00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:32.240
for an encounter situation, and I feel out of control,

153
00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:39.840
I feel anxious. There is a great deal of uncertainty.

154
00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:43.879
Human beings don't like uncertainty. We like to know what's

155
00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:47.759
happening with us. We like to know that I can

156
00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:58.200
exercise self efficacy, mastery, autonomy, self determination. So here you

157
00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:03.200
have the driving part of our existence, which is to

158
00:11:03.279 --> 00:11:08.240
feel valued and to have value, and the corresponding fears

159
00:11:08.559 --> 00:11:11.039
of feeling devalued and helpless.

160
00:11:12.440 --> 00:11:15.960
Extremely well explained. I also really thought it was so

161
00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:17.120
crisp that.

162
00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:19.720
You have it right out in your pocket. That gets

163
00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:20.240
chapter one.

164
00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:23.399
You have the mattering wheel, which of course is comprised

165
00:11:23.440 --> 00:11:27.039
of the two fundamental needs feeling value and adding value,

166
00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:30.639
but also then across the four arenas of self, relationships, work,

167
00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:33.840
and community. And I really thought that was also a

168
00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:37.480
crisp way to describe this notion of mattering and where

169
00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:40.639
might you feel great in life about mattering? Maybe where

170
00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:42.000
it needs from shoring up.

171
00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:51.600
Yes, so we are forever creating that we're on image

172
00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:57.360
based on inputs we receive from other people. So the

173
00:11:57.440 --> 00:12:00.960
mattering wheel consists, as you said, have you know the

174
00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:05.639
feeling value and the adding value have and the feeling

175
00:12:05.879 --> 00:12:12.320
value part of the will is fed by four sources.

176
00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:15.919
What I think of myself? Do I value myself? Do

177
00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:20.440
I have a sense of self work? But also do

178
00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:23.600
other people convey to me the feeling that I am

179
00:12:23.639 --> 00:12:27.240
a worthy individual? Starting with our own parents through a

180
00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:31.759
healthy and secure attachment, creating a bond of connection with

181
00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:38.159
our caregivers, and then it extends to our school, schooling experience,

182
00:12:38.360 --> 00:12:43.320
spear group work, and community at large, and they all

183
00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:50.960
interact right. So, ideally, if my parents provide a secure

184
00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:55.159
environment for me to explore the world, to feel like

185
00:12:55.320 --> 00:13:00.000
I can have a secure base from which to explore

186
00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.759
or the world, and they provide me with the right

187
00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:11.399
amount of supports when I feel threatened, maybe then I

188
00:13:11.480 --> 00:13:19.240
internalize this confidence that I get from parental support and

189
00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:24.519
I become more confident. Ideally, in my teachers, my peers

190
00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:29.480
will reinforce their idea but the extent to which my

191
00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:34.960
colleagues at work or my friends in the neighborhood will

192
00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:40.440
value me depends on how much value I add to

193
00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:45.600
their lives. So in the best of times, I am

194
00:13:45.639 --> 00:13:49.440
able to contribute to other people in many different ways.

195
00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:52.840
You know, we say that we can hape others, add

196
00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:58.440
value to others through gifts of the head, the heart,

197
00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:02.440
or the hand. You know, we can give them good ideas,

198
00:14:02.519 --> 00:14:05.360
emotional support, or we can just help them with the

199
00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:10.759
groceries or to cut the loan. Right, So there are

200
00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:14.399
multiple ways in which we can help ourselves and we

201
00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:19.399
can help others. If I'm helping others, ideally, they will

202
00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:22.759
reciprocate and they will say thank you, Isaac. We value

203
00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:27.679
you're volunteering in the community. We value your leadership at work.

204
00:14:28.440 --> 00:14:33.120
We value everything you bring to this environment. So I

205
00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:35.440
get reinforced and I want to do more of it.

206
00:14:36.519 --> 00:14:41.240
This is a virtuous cycle, right. It starts with my

207
00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:47.240
immediate environment, boosting my confidence, making me feel valued, and

208
00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:53.360
then taking chances and contributing to others. That's in an

209
00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:58.159
ideal world, and there are less than ideal circumstances. If

210
00:14:58.200 --> 00:15:01.480
I grow up in a family where I don't feel value.

211
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:08.279
Then that generates a vicious cycle. I am not confident

212
00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:12.000
to contribute to others because I'm used to being put

213
00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:15.320
down by my parents and my siblings and my grandparents

214
00:15:15.399 --> 00:15:19.519
and cousins. I don't feel confident. So why should I

215
00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:25.000
raise my hand in classrooms just to feel rejected, to

216
00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:30.159
feel to take a big risk, to be exposed for

217
00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:33.879
what I don't know, or my failures or my shorts.

218
00:15:34.039 --> 00:15:36.559
That creates a vicious cycle.

219
00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.000
Oh, there's just so much in there. I want to

220
00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:44.840
celebrate quickly because it's almost my first grab, first practice.

221
00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:46.720
That you and your wife or have been married for

222
00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:52.159
more than forty years and you have one son. And

223
00:15:51.679 --> 00:15:55.759
I also know that among your other many many interests,

224
00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:58.519
that you are well known and are published and do

225
00:15:58.679 --> 00:15:59.519
work on humor.

226
00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:03.960
Yes, so you want me to talk about that.

227
00:16:04.039 --> 00:16:06.399
I want to know why where did that come from?

228
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:08.840
And why does it when you join?

229
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:19.759
Well, you know, most people develop hobbies over time. One

230
00:16:20.200 --> 00:16:26.840
hobby that brings me joy and satisfaction and sense of

231
00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:35.320
flow is writing humor. So I living in Miami. Miami

232
00:16:35.399 --> 00:16:42.240
is a very colorful place, a very funny place if

233
00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:49.679
you come with curious eyes. So just being part of

234
00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:55.919
this crazy city inspired me to write about what I

235
00:16:56.039 --> 00:17:02.600
see in my surroundings. So I started experimenting with some

236
00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.839
humor columns, and I had a column for a while

237
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:12.759
for the Miami Herald and Miami Today local newspapers. And

238
00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:17.519
I just found that that was very rewarding because when

239
00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:23.000
you write it professionally, it's one type of writing. It's

240
00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:28.359
very methodic, it's very logical, it's very analytical, it's very scholarly.

241
00:17:29.160 --> 00:17:33.240
When you write humor, it's a completely different experience. Yes,

242
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:39.039
So I just found that I could make people laugh

243
00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:47.400
in my lectures, my presentations, so I decided to nurture

244
00:17:47.559 --> 00:17:50.160
that skill, and it brought me a lot of joy.

245
00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:53.160
I'm going to comment and that when we take our

246
00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:56.200
when we come back from Bradley Let's letter Less viewers

247
00:17:56.440 --> 00:18:00.920
to a bit on this notion of being value and

248
00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:04.839
feeling valued. That's been the basis we've been talking about here.

249
00:18:05.240 --> 00:18:07.400
I'm your host, doctor Elise Cortez. We run on the

250
00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:11.720
air with doctor Isaac Perletenski, who holds the inaugural Edward

251
00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:17.079
and Barbara Sorry Mountainer, I guess it is Chair and

252
00:18:17.160 --> 00:18:20.319
Community well Being at the University of Miami. His interests

253
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:23.319
are in the promotion of well being and individuals, organizations

254
00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:26.279
and communities, and in the integration of wellness and fairness.

255
00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:29.480
And his latest book is How People Thrive, Promoting the

256
00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:32.599
synergy of Wellness, fairness, and Worthiness. We're going to dive

257
00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:35.400
deeper into some of these key areas that support his

258
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:36.519
work in the next segment.

259
00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:37.400
We'll be right back.

260
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:56.440
Doctor Elise Cortez is a management consultant specializing in meaning

261
00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:59.920
and purpose. An inspirational speaker and author, she helps com

262
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:03.680
Copanyes's visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop purpose

263
00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:08.119
inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance,

264
00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:11.160
and commitment within the workforce. To learn more or to

265
00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:14.279
invite Elise to speak to your organization, please visit her

266
00:19:14.359 --> 00:19:17.599
at elisecortes dot com. Let's talk about how to get

267
00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:26.400
your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose

268
00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:29.799
with doctor Elise Cortes. To reach our program today or

269
00:19:29.839 --> 00:19:32.599
to open a conversation with Elise, send an email to

270
00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:38.680
Elise alisee at elisecortes dot com. Now back to working

271
00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:39.440
on Purpose.

272
00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:46.799
Thanks for sting with us and welcome back to working

273
00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:49.960
on Purpose. I'm your host doctor Elise Cortes as I

274
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:52.720
am dedicated to helping create a world where organizations thrive

275
00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:55.440
because they're people thrive w they're led by inspirational leaders

276
00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:57.839
that help them find and contribute their greatness so they

277
00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.720
know they matter and we do business that matters the world.

278
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:02.799
I keep researching and writing my own books. So one

279
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:05.680
of my latest came out recently. It's called a Great Revitalization,

280
00:20:06.039 --> 00:20:08.480
How activating meaning and purpose can radically and live in

281
00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:12.279
your business. I wrote to help leaders understand the needs

282
00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:16.160
and wants it today it's very discerning and diverse workforce.

283
00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:19.240
And then I provide twenty two as practices that you

284
00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:22.200
can add or to equip you in your culture, to

285
00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:24.920
give that to in terms of your culture and your leadership.

286
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.039
You can find my books on Amazon or my personal

287
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:29.519
site at leastest dot com if you.

288
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:30.200
Are just joining us.

289
00:20:30.200 --> 00:20:33.759
My guest is doctor Isaac Prilatenski, co author alongside his

290
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.839
wife Aura, of How People Matter Might affects, health, happiness, love,

291
00:20:37.960 --> 00:20:41.480
work and society. So we were talking about humor before

292
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.480
we went our break there. Isaac and I know that

293
00:20:44.599 --> 00:20:47.359
you speak, of course Spanish as your native tongue English,

294
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:50.720
while Hebrew and a little Italian and maybe something else.

295
00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:53.759
I also learned that if you can be funny in

296
00:20:53.799 --> 00:20:56.759
a language outside of your own, there's something there.

297
00:20:57.359 --> 00:20:57.559
Right.

298
00:20:57.640 --> 00:20:59.519
It's one thing to be funny in your own language,

299
00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:02.079
but when you and be funny another language, there's something

300
00:21:02.119 --> 00:21:05.559
to that, and it's it's really spectacular. So I haven't

301
00:21:05.559 --> 00:21:08.200
written about humor as you have, but I certainly enjoy

302
00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:10.079
being able to laugh and make others laugh.

303
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:18.240
Well, yeah, I think it's a unique experience to make

304
00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:22.200
other people laugh. It's a wonderful way to add value,

305
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:25.359
you yes, experience, you know, to their life.

306
00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:27.400
I haven't thought about that way.

307
00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:30.279
Thank you for that, and so I wanted to in

308
00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:33.440
this segment get a little bit more distinctive about your

309
00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:36.240
work here, Isaak. There's so many beautiful things about what

310
00:21:36.359 --> 00:21:38.119
you have written about, and of course, many things that

311
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.720
I've come across in my study self efficacy, of course,

312
00:21:40.759 --> 00:21:43.799
and all those kinds of things that were intriguing to me.

313
00:21:44.359 --> 00:21:46.680
So one of the things that I thought was interesting

314
00:21:46.839 --> 00:21:50.480
is you talk about how victims of injustice feel that

315
00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:54.640
a psychological contract has been violated. And this gets into

316
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:58.359
your interest in fairness, et cetera. If you could talk

317
00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:03.119
a little bit about this idea of fairness in justice

318
00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:05.240
and how victims experience that.

319
00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:11.119
Yes, so let's go back for a minute to a

320
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:20.839
basic definition of justice. So justice refers to people getting

321
00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:28.200
their due do you e? In English? Do means people

322
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:34.799
getting what they deserve, their fair shake. And it turns

323
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:42.720
out that we all yearn to be treated with dignity

324
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:48.599
and respect. That is the psychological do do you e?

325
00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:52.960
That all of us are owed by virtue of being

326
00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:59.920
a human being? So, because we have this fundamental need

327
00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:04.480
to feel like you matter and that you have significance

328
00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:10.480
and importance in the world, when people treat you without

329
00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:19.119
dignity and respect, it feels like they're hurting your basic humanity.

330
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:24.240
If you are not treated with respect, it means that

331
00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:32.960
if fundamental breach has been perpetrated, you are not honoring

332
00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:41.519
me as a human being. I feel disregarded, I feel dismissed,

333
00:23:42.519 --> 00:23:48.400
I feel ignored. So it feels like an injustice because

334
00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:54.440
I am out like everybody else respect and dignity, and

335
00:23:54.559 --> 00:24:00.480
if you're not treating me with such compassion and care,

336
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:04.559
it feels like a lack of justice. This can feel

337
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:10.640
not only in the great scheme of society where there

338
00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:16.680
is discrimination and racism and classism and inequality, but it

339
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:20.240
can also feel like that in the context of the workplace,

340
00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:25.839
in our very own relationships with our spouses, with their siblings,

341
00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:32.440
with their parents, with their closest friends. So fairness or

342
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:36.440
lack of fairness is not just an experience at the

343
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:41.279
macro level of social system, but also at the micro

344
00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:48.039
level of close relationships and the workplace. So when we

345
00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:55.960
are made to feel like we don't matter, we feel

346
00:24:56.000 --> 00:25:00.480
like an injustice has been perpetrated, and that has very

347
00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:06.039
serious consequences, which we can get into maybe later in

348
00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:06.440
the show.

349
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:11.200
Oh, there's so much there, and I was very interested

350
00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:13.559
to see that. I think you make a connection between

351
00:25:13.559 --> 00:25:17.759
this kind of injustice because it's related to feeling exclusion.

352
00:25:18.160 --> 00:25:24.240
We feel excluded in our basic community, isn't respected and seen,

353
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:26.079
And of course we see that all the time in

354
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:28.799
the workplace, when you can see people literally shrinking back

355
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:32.359
because they feel like they don't belong, they're in the

356
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:37.839
outside group, and it's terrible just ramifications for the individuals

357
00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:40.599
well being in certainly for the productivity of the team.

358
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:53.279
Right. Absolutely, there is the misperception among many leaders in

359
00:25:53.319 --> 00:26:01.960
the workplace that we are basically there to add productive

360
00:26:02.519 --> 00:26:11.160
productive value without paying attention to relational value. But what

361
00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:16.400
drives people the most at work is not productive value.

362
00:26:16.519 --> 00:26:20.160
It's not where I bring how many widgets I can make,

363
00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:24.200
or how many apps can I develop, or how many

364
00:26:24.279 --> 00:26:30.039
toyotas we can building the plant, or how many houses

365
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.359
we can build and sell, or whatever product or service

366
00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:39.480
you're rendering. What drives people at work is relational value.

367
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:48.519
First and foremost. Human beings want to feel accepted, honored, valued.

368
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:56.240
And once we do that, once we feel accepted, honored,

369
00:26:56.559 --> 00:27:03.640
value recognize seeing then were provactive value goes right. We

370
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:08.519
should pay attention first and foremost to the relational value,

371
00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:15.000
and not only then we can experience an increase in

372
00:27:15.240 --> 00:27:16.680
productive value.

373
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:21.519
And to that end, I'm kind of jumping around her

374
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:23.240
just because I know I won't have time to get.

375
00:27:23.079 --> 00:27:24.519
To everything I want to talk to you about.

376
00:27:24.559 --> 00:27:27.680
But I was quite interested, because I of course study

377
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:30.400
these things as well, but related to the need to

378
00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:34.400
add value. Talking about being productive to add value, you

379
00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:38.440
do talk about a couple of pretty well known psychological theories,

380
00:27:38.759 --> 00:27:42.400
and that self determination and self effort adficacy, which we've

381
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:43.400
already talked about.

382
00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:45.160
Can you speak a bit.

383
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:48.599
To both of those when it comes to adding value,

384
00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:49.880
especially in the workplace.

385
00:27:50.960 --> 00:27:57.839
Right, So when you look at the second half of mattering,

386
00:27:57.880 --> 00:28:01.599
which is adding value, you can see that there are

387
00:28:01.640 --> 00:28:10.440
a lot of psychological theories that support the need to

388
00:28:10.599 --> 00:28:16.200
exercise mastery and control over the world, over our environment.

389
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:21.000
So self determination is a psychological theory of well being

390
00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:29.720
that really consists of mastery, competent or competence, autonomy, and relationships.

391
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:37.279
So two of the three components of self determination are autonomy.

392
00:28:37.559 --> 00:28:43.759
I am a self directed individual, which speaks about adding

393
00:28:43.880 --> 00:28:47.960
value to myself. I want to be the master of

394
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:52.000
my own destiny. I want to feel in control of

395
00:28:52.119 --> 00:28:58.279
my presence and my future. And in addition to autonomy,

396
00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:02.839

Mattering: The Signs, Sources and Significance of Feeling Valued and Adding Value for Well-Being

Listen On

Featured Episodes

Recent Episodes

New to Working on Purpose?